I have a lot of thoughts on this book and am frankly disappointed. I enjoyed the Land of Stories books to a certain extent and this story had good potential. But there were several aspects of this book that I cannot forgive. So be prepared for a rant.
First and foremost, this book might have gotten a 2 or possibly a 3-star rating for me had it not been for one unforgivable sin, plagiarism. Some of it was so blatant that I am in actual shock that no one else seems to have noticed or cared. Is it because Colfer is a celebrity author and preaching a message of tolerance that everyone else is just willing to ignore the fact that he stole ideas from other authors? Well I’m calling BS! Let’s talk about the most egregious incident first because it’s the one that tipped me off to all of the others.
Our main protagonist, Brystal, is given a wand to help her with her “magiclexia” (more on that later). Something amazing happens when she receives her wand and she asks what it means. “It means we can expect great things from you, Miss Evergreen.” This is a direct ripoff of Harry Potter and the Philosopher’s/Sorcerer’s Stone when Harry receives his wand and Olivander tells him that we can expect great things from you... I can’t be the only one who noticed this, right? After that I kept seeing reminders of stories I had read or movies I had seen. And there are a lot of details lifted from HP. Like a school dining hall’s ceiling enchanted to look like the night sky. Or the headmistress’ ulterior motives in training Brystal to defeat the Snow Queen. But HP isn’t the only victim here. I’m fairly confident the scene where all of the students pile into Brystal’s bed for story time is from A Little Princess (at least the movie version from the 90s). Bootstrap Academy feels an awful lot like a combination of Oliver Twist and the school in Jane Eyre. And though I can’t remember where, I am confident I’ve seen the scene where we take a long text filled with negative messages and destroy portions to form a new positive message in a movie before.
I wish I could end there, but I can’t. We also have to talk about the atrocious writing that went on in this book. Authors should show us what is going on, not tell us. So instead of saying “character was embarrassed by the others’ comments,” you should write “character blushed, dropped her eyes and was quiet for the remainder of the evening.” Colfer just kept TELLING what was happening! It was like a nervous tic. Some of it I blame on his editor. After all, he occasionally went on to do the showing, but it had been spoiled by the telling. Some examples:
“The girls were surprised by Brystal’s recognition. They pretended to be annoyed by the opportunity, but deep down, Brystal could tell the were eager for the attention.”
“Clearly the housekeeper thought her suspicion was a brand-new discovery.”
I could hardly go three pages without him telling me how people felt or worse telling me what they were going to do before they did it. And not just spoilers, he also summarizes content over and over again. We just read Xanthos’ story two chapters ago, are you really going to recite it again for Lucy? The beginning of chapter thirteen is literally a summary of what Brystal just learnered at the end of chapter twelve.
Colfer’s messages were also confusing. I thought the message about witches v fairies was going to be about actions. As in magic is a neutral, innate ability that can be used for good or evil. And it’s the way magic is used (good v evil) that determines whether someone is a “fairy” or a “witch.” But then it got muddled with the Sorceress swinging both ways. Now witchcraft is a “preference” and there’s no such thing as right or wrong. Except there are still evils in the book, so I can’t figure out what the heck his point is.
Also, the end is really bad. The whole book keeps preaching about changing people’s opinions through kindness and compassion, but in the end our heroes force the magical community’s acceptance by issuing ultimatums and manipulation. Brystal decries those who edit history to meet their own ends, but does exactly that by suppressing the truth about the Snow Queen’s identity. Why is it ok for Brystal to do this, but not the justices? I would applaud Colfer if he meant to provoke these types of discussions, but that’s clearly not his point. Brystal is the ultimate good in this story. Yes, the Snow Queen comes back in the later series, but Brystal is never confronted about her deception in the matter. Brystal is motivated by compassion and is seeking to end prejudice and discrimination, so editing history, manipulating the facts for her own group’s benefit is cool.
Colfer’s preaching is also obnoxious. We all get it, magic=homosexuality. And people cannot help having “magic,” they’re born that way and they simply cannot stop themselves from expressing it. But Colfer pushes the message so hard that some things stop making sense within the series. Fairy names that were cute and make sense when they’re the product of fairy families giving their children cutesy fairy names are bizarre. You’re telling me magic-hating families named their children “Tangerina” or “Skylene” or “Emerelda?” And how many times can one character or another preach the same message over and over again. Once again, quit telling me nothing is wrong about “magic” and that such natural impulses should not be discriminated against and SHOW ME! Combined with his statement that in the prologue that repetition is necessary for slow learners, I can only assume Colfer thinks his readers are idiots with the number of times he thinks it’s necessary to repeat the same mantra.
I would also like to talk about Colfer’s treatment of the justices and others who discriminate against the magical community. As an author, Colfer typically spends a lot of time making his villains sympathetic. They have backstories that explain how past hurt led to the current evil conduct. But that’s not true of characters like the justices or the Edgars. They’re not even true believers in their cause, they’re simply greedy and mean. There’s no backstory about how the magical community hurt the non-magical community or how these characters were personally treated poorly and so now act out of their hurt. Nope, they’re just mean, greedy and power-hungry. In fact, any perceived hurt by the magical community was simply manufactured to fit the justices evil ends.
Another bad message is about always the importance of happiness. Don’t get me wrong happiness is nice, but there are times when other things are more important than any individual’s happiness. As a mother, I know that sometimes my children’s well-being must come before my happiness or even their own. Sometimes what will make you happy now will lead you to misery in the end. So sometimes we must forfeit our happiness.
Colfer’s understanding of history and taboos are equally flawed. He presents a simplistic view of the origin of persecution that is frankly insulting. No, there was never a council of elders that sat down and asked “how can we best oppress this group of people?” “Or how can we exploit the weak and downtrodden for our own gain?” The Bible was not rewritten so the straight community could oppress the gay community. Good or bad, motivations are rarely that simplistic. And treating them as such ignores the actual root causes of prejudice. If we ignore the economic crisis that pre-Nazi Germany was facing we can never truly understand the rise of Nazism or the final solution to exterminate the Jews. We must acknowledge that taboos against homosexuality have an origin outside of basic ignorance and prejudice (e.g. the procreation of our species). How can we ever truly address it otherwise? It’s easy to paint those who hurt us or those we disagree with about fundamentally as being ignorant and motivated by bad things like greed and a thirst for power. But you’ve done nothing for your cause of acceptance and tolerance.
I also don’t think he’s ever actually experienced any of the forms of persecution or discrimination he described in the book other than a disapproving father. Frankly his depiction of oppressed women is insulting. This is not how women are or were oppressed historically. I mean how oppressed could Brystal be, she managed to do all her housework, go to school, clean an entire library by herself and read a whole floor’s worth of books in a month.
Brystal is also an insufferable heroine. She has no faults, unless you include an easily cured disorder. She is the best, most powerful fairy ever, but she’s also perfectly kind, loves to read, treats others with compassion and recognizes oppression while living in ignorance. She is patient and capable and when she occasionally over-reacts it’s only because others expect too much from her. She also has the perfect canned response for literally everyone and every situation. Who can relate to a character like that?
And now for the nitpicking. Magiclexia, sigh. I know that it’s supposed to be a reference to dyslexia, but he picked the wrong half of the word. “Lexia” refers to words, whereas “dys” refers to poor or inadequate. So magiclexia is “magic words?” Dysmagica would make more sense a dysfunctional sense of magic. But God forbid we actually understand words before we use them!
And while we’re at it, the anachronisms and modern nonsense was constantly eye-roll worthy. They made sense in his other series where the events were taking place at the same time as our modern history and involved characters who moved back and forth between worlds, thus explaining the influence. Bu this predates the interactions and takes place in a era similar to our own medieval or possibly renaissance period. Yet we have stupid comments like Brystal made a cake “from scratch.” Do they have box cake mixes? Lucy has a bottle cap necklace. They have bottle caps? Characters comment about creepy fonts, do they have word processing?