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The Beautiful Poetry of Donald Trump
What if there's a hidden dimension to Donald Trump; a sensitive, poetic side? Driven by this question, Rob Sears began combing Trump's words for signs of poetry. What he found was a revelation. By simply taking the 45th President of the United States' tweets and transcripts, cutting them up and reordering them, Sears unearthed a trove of beautiful verse that was just waiting to be discovered. This groundbreaking collection gives readers a glimpse of Trump's innermost thoughts and feelings on everything from the nature of truth, to what he hates about Lord Sugar. And it will reveal a hitherto hidden Donald, who may surprise and delight both students and critics alike. Now with fifteen all-new poems as we lurch deeper into the Trump presidency, this timely publication also includes Sears' scholarly footnotes and introduction, in which he excavates new critical angles and insights into the President's poetry which the casual reader might initially overlook.
176 pages, Hardcover
First published August 31, 2017
121 people are currently reading
2133 people want to read
About the author
Rob Sears
20 books53 followersRob lives and works in Finsbury Park in London with his cat, dog and wife. His books tend to take an irreverent and fun approach to things that we usually talk about with our Serious Voices, such as monstrous world leaders and the environmental omnicrisis we're living through.
His latest work is The Biggest Footprint, an illustrated book that tells the story of humanity's impact on nature through the character of the mega human, a 3km-tall blue giant made out of every human on earth. It's his first book for kids and adults, and aims to give readers a new perspective on the big data about our species.
Previously Rob wrote a series of hit humour books about world leaders, including The Beautiful Poetry of Donald Trump and Vladimir Putin Life Coach. His political writing has appeared in McSweeney's, The New Statesman, the Guardian and Index on Censorship magazine, and he is the co-creator of Working for the Big Man, a sitcom for Audible starring Kevin Eldon, Felicity Montagu and Mitch Benn.
His latest work is The Biggest Footprint, an illustrated book that tells the story of humanity's impact on nature through the character of the mega human, a 3km-tall blue giant made out of every human on earth. It's his first book for kids and adults, and aims to give readers a new perspective on the big data about our species.
Previously Rob wrote a series of hit humour books about world leaders, including The Beautiful Poetry of Donald Trump and Vladimir Putin Life Coach. His political writing has appeared in McSweeney's, The New Statesman, the Guardian and Index on Censorship magazine, and he is the co-creator of Working for the Big Man, a sitcom for Audible starring Kevin Eldon, Felicity Montagu and Mitch Benn.
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 441 reviews
January 3, 2018
Folks, this book is great. These poems are fantastic. That I can tell you. And I am really smart. Believe me, I know words. I know the best words. Everyone agrees. That's a true fact.
Look at Will Shakespeare. Look at Emily Dickinson. And you count their words. And it's too many, folks. Too many words. Too many!
Now, look at Goodreads. Smart people. Smart people who like books. Maybe books not written about Trump. But that's pushing it, folks. Because these poems are enough.
Trump is poetic. So poetic, with tweets. It's tremendous, what Sears did. Crooked Hillary uses too many words in her books. Far too many words. You just can't trust her. Too many words to trust.
The Beautiful Poetry of Donald Trump. Collected by Robert Sears. Believe me. It's incredible. It's fantastic. Must read!
My favourite poems:
I am the most fabulous whiner, p.17 (beautiful)
We have by far the highest IQ of any Cabinet ever assembled, p.29 (fantastic)
Slowly, the hair dries, p.53 (incredible)
We've got to stop the stupid, p.65 (great)
No days off, p.83 (terrific)
My two favourite words, p.117 (laugh out loud)
Look at Will Shakespeare. Look at Emily Dickinson. And you count their words. And it's too many, folks. Too many words. Too many!
Now, look at Goodreads. Smart people. Smart people who like books. Maybe books not written about Trump. But that's pushing it, folks. Because these poems are enough.
Trump is poetic. So poetic, with tweets. It's tremendous, what Sears did. Crooked Hillary uses too many words in her books. Far too many words. You just can't trust her. Too many words to trust.
The Beautiful Poetry of Donald Trump. Collected by Robert Sears. Believe me. It's incredible. It's fantastic. Must read!
My favourite poems:
I am the most fabulous whiner, p.17 (beautiful)
We have by far the highest IQ of any Cabinet ever assembled, p.29 (fantastic)
Slowly, the hair dries, p.53 (incredible)
We've got to stop the stupid, p.65 (great)
No days off, p.83 (terrific)
My two favourite words, p.117 (laugh out loud)
August 16, 2019
The first time I saw this book in a Goodreads feed I thought it was actually serious, if but for a minute, and I was genuinely flabbergasted at the concept. This book can’t be for real. Poetry? Trump? No, you're having a laugh.
And thankfully Rob Sears is.
He’s pieced together all manner of quotes from Trump over the years. Quotes from twitter, from television interviews and radio broadcasts, it’s all come together to form a rather random bunch of poetry. And some of them are gold.
“I won!
Well, we’ve had some disasters, but this is the worst”
So this is a good way to spend thirty minutes laughing at the horrifyingly stupid nature of the man who has, somehow, become president of the United States. And all the quotes are sourced back to thier orginal material- this is all the real deal here (unfortunately he did say all these things!) though they've been twisted a little and put out of context which only highlights his stupidity further.
And thankfully Rob Sears is.
He’s pieced together all manner of quotes from Trump over the years. Quotes from twitter, from television interviews and radio broadcasts, it’s all come together to form a rather random bunch of poetry. And some of them are gold.
“I won!
Well, we’ve had some disasters, but this is the worst”
So this is a good way to spend thirty minutes laughing at the horrifyingly stupid nature of the man who has, somehow, become president of the United States. And all the quotes are sourced back to thier orginal material- this is all the real deal here (unfortunately he did say all these things!) though they've been twisted a little and put out of context which only highlights his stupidity further.
November 10, 2018
My initial reaction when I heard about this book: Well, I don’t know a lot about poetry, but that sounds like a bad idea. Russell Brand’s take on reading the comment that “Ian Huntley’s voodoo dolls should be taken away and burnt!” specifically sprang to mind for some reason.
It’s smart, you can finish on the bus, and it’s good for a laugh. That’s what my friend said when she lent it to me. She’s right. If nothing else, “People of the world, thank you” from the 2017 inaugural address by the 45th President of the United States will stay with me for a long time.
“You can do anything” is a creepy juxtaposition of the Access Hollywood tape, 2005 and Trump’s Proclamation on National Sexual Assault Awareness and Prevention in 2017. So, you get the idea.
Every line annotated for the source material tweet, speech or interview. Sears is working with more stringent requirements than Dr. Seuss did when he wrote Green Eggs and Ham using only 50 words.
I still don’t know a lot about poetry. But, “I’ve never seen scissors that look this beautiful before” seems to fit.
It’s smart, you can finish on the bus, and it’s good for a laugh. That’s what my friend said when she lent it to me. She’s right. If nothing else, “People of the world, thank you” from the 2017 inaugural address by the 45th President of the United States will stay with me for a long time.
“You can do anything” is a creepy juxtaposition of the Access Hollywood tape, 2005 and Trump’s Proclamation on National Sexual Assault Awareness and Prevention in 2017. So, you get the idea.
Every line annotated for the source material tweet, speech or interview. Sears is working with more stringent requirements than Dr. Seuss did when he wrote Green Eggs and Ham using only 50 words.
I still don’t know a lot about poetry. But, “I’ve never seen scissors that look this beautiful before” seems to fit.
April 6, 2022
HAPPY POETRY MONTH!
april is national poetry month,
so here come thirty floats!
the cynics here will call this plan
a shameless grab for votes.
and maybe there’s some truth to that—
i do love validation,
but charitably consider it
a rhyme-y celebration.
i don’t intend to flood your feed—
i’ll just post one a day.
endure four weeks of reruns
and then it will be may!
**************************
fulfilling book riot's 2020 read harder challenge task #8: Read an audiobook of poetry
after yesterday's debacle, it seems like a good time to review this one.
i was dreading this prompt, not only because i have trouble focusing on narrative audio in general, but also because the prospect of listening to a series of poems read aloud in full performative inflection made my soul itch.
and then i discovered trumpoetry, and it was impossible not to focus on it, nor to ever unhear his words. i would say "don't quit your day job, trump," but then i remembered—you've been fired. by america.
mind you, these are not actual poems actually written by donald trump; they're more like 'found poetry' curated from a selection of his (oh-so-many) tweets; magpie-ing a line here, a line there, arranged into coherence and displaying more humanity than most of trump's actual speeches, all read aloud by a #FAKETRUMP. it's a fine novelty-book, even if you're someone who never wants to have to think about him ever again.
the best thing is that this is a game anyone can play. here are some i've compiled myself, from a sampling of trumptweets:
Are you allowed to impeach a president for gross incompetence?
I said no!
They laugh at what fools our leaders have been.
Dumb leaders.
No more!
my I.Q. is one of the highest -and you all know it!
Will own America soon.
Sorry everyone!
***********************
Everyone knows I am right that Robert Pattinson should dump Kristen Stewart.
I try so hard to be his friend
Maybe I just didn’t get the call?
***********************
Mexico will pay for the wall!
I love Hispanics!
I always insist on being politically correct.
They cannot help the fact that they were born fucked up!
***********************
We have developed, under the Trump Administration, some really great drugs
I feel better than I did 20 years ago!
Party harder than any Democrat.
Looking forward to Friday.
as we wait for what should be EASY D!
***********************
There is nobody more Patriotic than me, your favorite President!
They will soon be calling me MR. BREXIT!
Should get a medal!
***********************
Where is the outrage for this Disney book?
Will people never make a stand!
The cast of Hamilton was very rude last night
The Fake News refuses to report this!
Windmills are the greatest threat in the US
Suppression Media!
I’ve had enough of this – good night!
***********************
Here is my statement.
Don’t be afraid of Covid.
Nothing can be done to cure that giant scam.
Another HISTORIC breakthrough today!
The United States shows more CASES than other countries
What did these geniuses expect when they put men & women together?
Only in America!
SO TRUE!
All others lived
There has never been anything like this in our Country!
Weekend daytime even worse, dead.
It was my great honor to help, a tremendous achievement!
No other politician would do this!!!
It’s called total corruption!
I just want to stop the world from killing itself!
bad things happened.
Sad end to great show
Get well soon!
***********************
here's a call-and-response poem between those erstwhile lovers; trump and twitter:
do not flag this Twitter!
...I WON THE ELECTION, BIG.
Fraudulent result!
RIGGED ELECTION!
How can you have a presidency when a vast majority think the election was RIGGED?
...AND I WON THE ELECTION. VOTER FRAUD ALL OVER THE COUNTRY!
Let them do it. BE STRONG!
***********************
and here are some raw materials to make your own:
NO WAY WE LOST THIS ELECTION!
So much truth to this!
Suppression of thought!
Even a boring football game, kneeling and all, is better!
Every time I speak of the haters and losers I do so with great love and affection.
It’s freezing and snowing in New York—we need global warming!
I have never seen a thin person drinking Diet Coke
Actually, throughout my life, my two greatest assets have been mental stability and being, like, really smart.
WITCH HUNT!
Must also tree clear to stop fire from spreading!
Fools!
I am a Tariff Man.
MAKE AMERICA RICH AGAIN
I know tech better than anyone
The Media is deranged, they have lost their minds!
NEVER, EVER THREATEN THE UNITED STATES AGAIN OR YOU WILL SUFFER CONSEQUENCES THE LIKES OF WHICH FEW THROUGHOUT HISTORY HAVE EVER SUFFERED BEFORE. WE ARE NO LONGER A COUNTRY THAT WILL STAND FOR YOUR DEMENTED WORDS OF VIOLENCE & DEATH. BE CAUTIOUS!
Must be proactive!
Who wouldn't take Kate's picture and make lots of money if she does the nude sunbathing thing. Come on Kate!
It’s like the wheel, there is nothing better.
People are proud to be saying Merry Christmas again. I am proud to have led the charge against the assault of our cherished and beautiful phrase. MERRY CHRISTMAS!!!!!
many are saying I'm the best 140 character writer in the world. It's easy when it's fun.
Very unfair!
She was bleeding badly from a face-lift.
Obama went down
Oh no! What is going on?
Cancel culture at work!
Think I’ll stick around for awhile!
So sad for our country!
People are angry!
which is an international joke.
SILENCE THE TRUTH.
I will VETO!
Big “stuff”. Enjoy!
Gee, what a surprise.
What’s wrong with this guy? What is he hiding?
I won all three, by a lot!
Not statistically possible.
It won’t be needed. We will all WIN!
it is still a big, old, slow turtle. Get the dam vaccines out NOW
Stop playing games and start saving lives!!!
WE HAVE JUST BEGUN TO FIGHT!!!
A big disappointment!
I have been doing this. I agree!
What a disgrace!
an embarrassment to the USA!!!
No Wisdom, No Courage!
Such egregious conduct.
DEAD PEOPLE VOTED
If I didn’t do it, Media would say RUDE!!!
*******************************
enjoy, ye budding poets!
come to my blog!
april is national poetry month,
so here come thirty floats!
the cynics here will call this plan
a shameless grab for votes.
and maybe there’s some truth to that—
i do love validation,
but charitably consider it
a rhyme-y celebration.
i don’t intend to flood your feed—
i’ll just post one a day.
endure four weeks of reruns
and then it will be may!
**************************
fulfilling book riot's 2020 read harder challenge task #8: Read an audiobook of poetry
after yesterday's debacle, it seems like a good time to review this one.
i was dreading this prompt, not only because i have trouble focusing on narrative audio in general, but also because the prospect of listening to a series of poems read aloud in full performative inflection made my soul itch.
and then i discovered trumpoetry, and it was impossible not to focus on it, nor to ever unhear his words. i would say "don't quit your day job, trump," but then i remembered—you've been fired. by america.
mind you, these are not actual poems actually written by donald trump; they're more like 'found poetry' curated from a selection of his (oh-so-many) tweets; magpie-ing a line here, a line there, arranged into coherence and displaying more humanity than most of trump's actual speeches, all read aloud by a #FAKETRUMP. it's a fine novelty-book, even if you're someone who never wants to have to think about him ever again.
the best thing is that this is a game anyone can play. here are some i've compiled myself, from a sampling of trumptweets:
Are you allowed to impeach a president for gross incompetence?
I said no!
They laugh at what fools our leaders have been.
Dumb leaders.
No more!
my I.Q. is one of the highest -and you all know it!
Will own America soon.
Sorry everyone!
***********************
Everyone knows I am right that Robert Pattinson should dump Kristen Stewart.
I try so hard to be his friend
Maybe I just didn’t get the call?
***********************
Mexico will pay for the wall!
I love Hispanics!
I always insist on being politically correct.
They cannot help the fact that they were born fucked up!
***********************
We have developed, under the Trump Administration, some really great drugs
I feel better than I did 20 years ago!
Party harder than any Democrat.
Looking forward to Friday.
as we wait for what should be EASY D!
***********************
There is nobody more Patriotic than me, your favorite President!
They will soon be calling me MR. BREXIT!
Should get a medal!
***********************
Where is the outrage for this Disney book?
Will people never make a stand!
The cast of Hamilton was very rude last night
The Fake News refuses to report this!
Windmills are the greatest threat in the US
Suppression Media!
I’ve had enough of this – good night!
***********************
Here is my statement.
Don’t be afraid of Covid.
Nothing can be done to cure that giant scam.
Another HISTORIC breakthrough today!
The United States shows more CASES than other countries
What did these geniuses expect when they put men & women together?
Only in America!
SO TRUE!
All others lived
There has never been anything like this in our Country!
Weekend daytime even worse, dead.
It was my great honor to help, a tremendous achievement!
No other politician would do this!!!
It’s called total corruption!
I just want to stop the world from killing itself!
bad things happened.
Sad end to great show
Get well soon!
***********************
here's a call-and-response poem between those erstwhile lovers; trump and twitter:
do not flag this Twitter!
...I WON THE ELECTION, BIG.
Fraudulent result!
RIGGED ELECTION!
How can you have a presidency when a vast majority think the election was RIGGED?
...AND I WON THE ELECTION. VOTER FRAUD ALL OVER THE COUNTRY!
Let them do it. BE STRONG!
***********************
and here are some raw materials to make your own:
NO WAY WE LOST THIS ELECTION!
So much truth to this!
Suppression of thought!
Even a boring football game, kneeling and all, is better!
Every time I speak of the haters and losers I do so with great love and affection.
It’s freezing and snowing in New York—we need global warming!
I have never seen a thin person drinking Diet Coke
Actually, throughout my life, my two greatest assets have been mental stability and being, like, really smart.
WITCH HUNT!
Must also tree clear to stop fire from spreading!
Fools!
I am a Tariff Man.
MAKE AMERICA RICH AGAIN
I know tech better than anyone
The Media is deranged, they have lost their minds!
NEVER, EVER THREATEN THE UNITED STATES AGAIN OR YOU WILL SUFFER CONSEQUENCES THE LIKES OF WHICH FEW THROUGHOUT HISTORY HAVE EVER SUFFERED BEFORE. WE ARE NO LONGER A COUNTRY THAT WILL STAND FOR YOUR DEMENTED WORDS OF VIOLENCE & DEATH. BE CAUTIOUS!
Must be proactive!
Who wouldn't take Kate's picture and make lots of money if she does the nude sunbathing thing. Come on Kate!
It’s like the wheel, there is nothing better.
People are proud to be saying Merry Christmas again. I am proud to have led the charge against the assault of our cherished and beautiful phrase. MERRY CHRISTMAS!!!!!
many are saying I'm the best 140 character writer in the world. It's easy when it's fun.
Very unfair!
She was bleeding badly from a face-lift.
Obama went down
Oh no! What is going on?
Cancel culture at work!
Think I’ll stick around for awhile!
So sad for our country!
People are angry!
which is an international joke.
SILENCE THE TRUTH.
I will VETO!
Big “stuff”. Enjoy!
Gee, what a surprise.
What’s wrong with this guy? What is he hiding?
I won all three, by a lot!
Not statistically possible.
It won’t be needed. We will all WIN!
it is still a big, old, slow turtle. Get the dam vaccines out NOW
Stop playing games and start saving lives!!!
WE HAVE JUST BEGUN TO FIGHT!!!
A big disappointment!
I have been doing this. I agree!
What a disgrace!
an embarrassment to the USA!!!
No Wisdom, No Courage!
Such egregious conduct.
DEAD PEOPLE VOTED
If I didn’t do it, Media would say RUDE!!!
*******************************
enjoy, ye budding poets!
come to my blog!
November 4, 2020
The fact that this collection fails to turn the insipid, turd-tongued ramblings of the Worst President Ever into an amusing poetry-parody is evidence that there is nothing whatsoever remarkable, amusing, or interesting about Trump and his words. He’s merely an overinflated orange cockwomble who hates everyone and everything not Trump, and the rest is babble. He’s a complete mediocrity, the living, walking, wheezing embodiment of meh. He’s a background irritant. He’s white noise, he’s radio static. He’s a whiff of manure in the wind. He’s the green mould on your potato chip. He’s a Covid-19 particle sneakily wafting up your granny’s nose. He’s the residuum at the bottom of a bin. He’s the unending, unrelenting drip of your bathroom tap, slowly driving you insane with the same repetitive sound, drip-drip-dripping in your head until you want to scream. Trump’s words cannot become the stuff of comedy, because Trump’s words are utterly devoid of any linguistic value whatsoever. There can never be any art squeezed from Trump. Trump is where everything wonderful goes to die.
February 17, 2018
Lines taken from what Donald Trump has said over the years and rearranged to form (mostly) short poems. I liked the book because I think it speaks to a much deeper issue: supporters of President Trump will look at this book and claim that it is contextually constructed to make him look bad; opponents will say the opposite - that the 'crystallization' of the lines shows a very egotistically motivated individual who is now the most powerful man in the world. I leave all interpretations to you - my GR friends.
November 23, 2017
Hysterical.
I can only imagine how much time went into creating this, and for that, Robert Sears, I applaud you.
I can only imagine how much time went into creating this, and for that, Robert Sears, I applaud you.
January 20, 2018
"I am the least racist person there is;
I've always had a great relationship with the blacks;
I remained strong for Tiger Woods during his difficult period;
Oprah, I love Oprah. Oprah would always be my first choice;
Kanye West - I love him;
I think Eminem is fantastic and most people think I would like Eminem;
And did you know my name is in more black songs than any other name in hip-hop;
You are the racist, not I."
Rob Sears is an American hero who lives in Great Britain. At some point either during or just after the presidential election of 2016, Sears started combing through the treasure trove of Donald J. Trump's tweets, "Playboy" magazine articles, "Howard Stern Show" interview transcripts and other media clips. He would parsed out a quote here and there and started turning the president's bullshit into beautiful poetry. Haiku, long-form, short-form, rhyming -- you name it and Sears builds it out of Trumps own beautiful words. The best words, you know? Each poem -- and there are dozens -- is a work of art.
Consider, "I make this promise."
"I, Donald John Trump, do solemnly swear that I will faithfully execute the Office of President of the United States, and will to the best of my ability, preserve, protect and defend the Constitution of the United States;
I promise I will never be in a bicycle race;
I will not rename the White House;
And I promise not to talk about your massive plastic surgeries that didn't work;
I promise. Thank you."
The first part of that poem is, of course, a direct quote from one year ago -- January 20, 2017. The second part is a snide remark directed at John Kerry, who broke his leg a couple of years ago while biking. The third line was taken from a Larry King interview in 1999. The fourth line is a nasty tweet direct at...Cher. And the final line is the closing to a speech given in South Carolina back in 2015. You get the idea -- take a line here, take a line there and fit things together into a masterpiece.
I can't recommend this book highly enough. Were it a longer book, it would have garnered a five-star review. But it left me wanting more so badly that I had no choice but to pull it down to four stars.
My favorite poem, by far, is "Look at this baby." Five sources contributed to it but, knowing Trump as we do now, you can absolutely imagine this being one, cohesive, rambling, presidential diatribe -- can you not? I'll leave you with it, and extend to you an invitation purchase this tome, read away your anger and achieve some level of catharsis during this difficult political season.
"Look at this baby;
That is a great, beautiful baby;
It's young and beautiful and healthy;
I love babies;
What a baby;
What a beautiful baby.
--
Okay, that's enough;
You can get the baby out of here;
I like kids;
I won't do anything to take care of them;
They're ugly, little and don't work."
I've always had a great relationship with the blacks;
I remained strong for Tiger Woods during his difficult period;
Oprah, I love Oprah. Oprah would always be my first choice;
Kanye West - I love him;
I think Eminem is fantastic and most people think I would like Eminem;
And did you know my name is in more black songs than any other name in hip-hop;
You are the racist, not I."
Rob Sears is an American hero who lives in Great Britain. At some point either during or just after the presidential election of 2016, Sears started combing through the treasure trove of Donald J. Trump's tweets, "Playboy" magazine articles, "Howard Stern Show" interview transcripts and other media clips. He would parsed out a quote here and there and started turning the president's bullshit into beautiful poetry. Haiku, long-form, short-form, rhyming -- you name it and Sears builds it out of Trumps own beautiful words. The best words, you know? Each poem -- and there are dozens -- is a work of art.
Consider, "I make this promise."
"I, Donald John Trump, do solemnly swear that I will faithfully execute the Office of President of the United States, and will to the best of my ability, preserve, protect and defend the Constitution of the United States;
I promise I will never be in a bicycle race;
I will not rename the White House;
And I promise not to talk about your massive plastic surgeries that didn't work;
I promise. Thank you."
The first part of that poem is, of course, a direct quote from one year ago -- January 20, 2017. The second part is a snide remark directed at John Kerry, who broke his leg a couple of years ago while biking. The third line was taken from a Larry King interview in 1999. The fourth line is a nasty tweet direct at...Cher. And the final line is the closing to a speech given in South Carolina back in 2015. You get the idea -- take a line here, take a line there and fit things together into a masterpiece.
I can't recommend this book highly enough. Were it a longer book, it would have garnered a five-star review. But it left me wanting more so badly that I had no choice but to pull it down to four stars.
My favorite poem, by far, is "Look at this baby." Five sources contributed to it but, knowing Trump as we do now, you can absolutely imagine this being one, cohesive, rambling, presidential diatribe -- can you not? I'll leave you with it, and extend to you an invitation purchase this tome, read away your anger and achieve some level of catharsis during this difficult political season.
"Look at this baby;
That is a great, beautiful baby;
It's young and beautiful and healthy;
I love babies;
What a baby;
What a beautiful baby.
--
Okay, that's enough;
You can get the baby out of here;
I like kids;
I won't do anything to take care of them;
They're ugly, little and don't work."
October 19, 2017
I happened upon this book in a quaint bookstore on a recent trip to London. No, Donald Trump is not a poet, at least, not as far as I know. This book was created by Rob Sears using actual words or phrases Donald has spoken, written or tweeted to form poems. It is what's known in England as tongue-in-cheek humor and it is slyly funny. A citation for each line appears immediately after each poem, which informs the reader of the origin of the word or phrase. The words "strictly unauthorized" are on the front cover.
January 9, 2018
Not as beautiful and poetic as I was led to believe.
Want to read
December 16, 2017I spotted this in Waterstones today WHAT !!!
Well as staff said if I am short of toliet paper this great if have some body you hate this Christmas this perfect book for them .The mother in law book pressy.
Well as staff said if I am short of toliet paper this great if have some body you hate this Christmas this perfect book for them .The mother in law book pressy.
Want to read
August 17, 2018...... where can i buy this
Read
March 24, 2022I’m not giving a rating. I feel it would be unfair. Had I read this back in 2017 I might have enjoyed it more. Back when he was just a joke an embarrassment to be laughed at.
But he became dangerous and I’m just grateful he no longer fills the news. I find I can’t even laugh at him anymore so I think it’s me not the book.
Here’s a short example.
Very big negotiations
1 I’ve never met a good negotiator that tells you he’s a good negotiator
.
.
.
.
2 I’m a good negotiator
But he became dangerous and I’m just grateful he no longer fills the news. I find I can’t even laugh at him anymore so I think it’s me not the book.
Here’s a short example.
Very big negotiations
1 I’ve never met a good negotiator that tells you he’s a good negotiator
.
.
.
.
2 I’m a good negotiator
February 6, 2023
About as ridiculous as the person these poems are about 🤣
December 30, 2024
I saw this book in a charity shop (August 2023) and thought it was supposed to be a piss-take but discovered I was wrong. I don't know why but the book astounded me and depressed me. I suppose it might seem silly I hadn't heard of this excrescence but I live in the UK but I am glad I hadn't - I've been spared years of the knowledge of this perversity - I have never felt dirty after contact with any book - yet I did for the first time with this. Somehow the association of Donald Trump and poetry was just about the most sad-making thing I had come across - it was just the limit - it is nothing compared to what this man has inflicted on human beings but when the someone as tawdry as Trump is associated with something of beauty (I am reminded that Adolf Hitler was the owner of Discus Player by Myron* which almost ruined the sculpture for me) it is just so perverse as MJ Nichols (another reviewer) says 'Trump is where all beautiful things go to die'.
Even though the money would go to charity I couldn't buy it, not even to destroy it, it would have left me polluted.
*Goggle it if you don't know who and what this is and then go blame your schools for depriving you of the ineffable.
Even though the money would go to charity I couldn't buy it, not even to destroy it, it would have left me polluted.
*Goggle it if you don't know who and what this is and then go blame your schools for depriving you of the ineffable.
July 25, 2022
Funny. Very funny. In some spots, laugh-out-loud funny.
The author takes the actual words of Trump, available in the public record (with footnotes documenting everything), and elevates the infantile vocabulary and mangled syntax of Trump to the level of an artform.
Trump still comes across as a short-fingered vulgarian, but in an amusing, surreal way (and also in a horrifying, OMG! This-Guy-is-the-President!?!?!!?!? way).
The horror of his election, temporarily put out of mind by this clever book, sinks-in again a short time later, after you've finished the book and have had a good laugh.
The author takes the actual words of Trump, available in the public record (with footnotes documenting everything), and elevates the infantile vocabulary and mangled syntax of Trump to the level of an artform.
Trump still comes across as a short-fingered vulgarian, but in an amusing, surreal way (and also in a horrifying, OMG! This-Guy-is-the-President!?!?!!?!? way).
The horror of his election, temporarily put out of mind by this clever book, sinks-in again a short time later, after you've finished the book and have had a good laugh.
June 12, 2018
We are going to make poetry GREAT again! " I promise".
"I am what I am" and "I am your voice!" This is a GREAT poetry book." "Believe me!" " I know words" , "You're going to love it"! The others don't write good, not even Maggie Haberman ! "Total losers!"
"I'm the world's greatest writer of 140 character sentences". "Mark my words". Bob Sears had this great idea of putting them together and the result is this GREAT compilation, " despite the constant negative press covfefe".
"Russia, if you're listening", I hope you're able to find a copy of this.
( "Sorry losers and haters!"...)
..............
I am open-minded 1
I use both iPhone and Samsung 2
A great leader has to be flexible.3
( 1- Fox News Sunday | 11 -12-2016
2- Tweet criticising Apple | 19-02-2016
3- Great again: how to fix our crippled America , Donald Trump)
...............
We have by far the highest IQ of any Cabinet ever assembled
I appointed today the head secretary of the Veterans
Administration, David Shulkin
General Kelly is going to do a fantastic job at Homeland Security
Ben Affleck is going to do a great job as Batman
..........
Ahahahahah! (You're) hilarious Mr. Trump! :-/
"I am what I am" and "I am your voice!" This is a GREAT poetry book." "Believe me!" " I know words" , "You're going to love it"! The others don't write good, not even Maggie Haberman ! "Total losers!"
"I'm the world's greatest writer of 140 character sentences". "Mark my words". Bob Sears had this great idea of putting them together and the result is this GREAT compilation, " despite the constant negative press covfefe".
"Russia, if you're listening", I hope you're able to find a copy of this.
( "Sorry losers and haters!"...)
..............
I am open-minded 1
I use both iPhone and Samsung 2
A great leader has to be flexible.3
( 1- Fox News Sunday | 11 -12-2016
2- Tweet criticising Apple | 19-02-2016
3- Great again: how to fix our crippled America , Donald Trump)
...............
We have by far the highest IQ of any Cabinet ever assembled
I appointed today the head secretary of the Veterans
Administration, David Shulkin
General Kelly is going to do a fantastic job at Homeland Security
Ben Affleck is going to do a great job as Batman
..........
Ahahahahah! (You're) hilarious Mr. Trump! :-/
July 22, 2022
It was only a matter of time before someone would splice the words from Trump’s many interviews, incendiary rallies, and ridiculous tweets to create “poetry.” This is hilariously done here. On one page is the fake poem with each sentence or sentence fragment (including the title) numbered so the source can be found on the opposite page.
An example and personal favorite:
We have by far the highest IQ of any Cabinet ever assembled
I appointed today the head secretary of the Veterans
Administration, David Shulkin
General Kelly is going to do a fantastic job at Homeland
Security
Ben Affleck is going to do a great job as Batman
The faux serious “Editor’s notes” and the cover image of Trump’s head pasted onto the body of Dylan Thomas only make this collection better.
November 7, 2019
This is actually sad and hilarious at the same time!
I can definitelly recommend the audiobook, which read by Jon Culshaw makes the whole thing even funnier.
I can definitelly recommend the audiobook, which read by Jon Culshaw makes the whole thing even funnier.
January 28, 2019
Very short and funny book of poems composed of real quotes by Trump (with sources provided).
The author also provides a sensitive analysis of Trump's work in the foreword, making it a brilliant satire, only rarely letting the open critique shine through.
I also like the idea of found poetry and this is a great example of it.
So as I was saying, it was funny, but at some point it became rather scary.
This person really IS the president of USA.
Weird.
The book is a one-trick pony, but amusing and scary nonetheless.
I am the best
I predicted Apple's stock fall
I will build a great, great wall
I build buildings that are 94 storeys tall
My hands aren't - are they small?
The author also provides a sensitive analysis of Trump's work in the foreword, making it a brilliant satire, only rarely letting the open critique shine through.
Slowly the hair dries
It's a process that can take 18 months to two years
I also like the idea of found poetry and this is a great example of it.
There's something going on that we don't know about
A lot of people are saying that bad things are happening out there
A lot of people are talking about it
I'm not saying that, and I'm not a conspiracy person
I'm not going to say it, because I'm not allowed to say it, because I want to be politically correct
I know nothing about it
The people truly get what's going on
So as I was saying, it was funny, but at some point it became rather scary.
This person really IS the president of USA.
Weird.
Deviant Anthony Weiner: a Haiku
Very sick puppy
A screamer and a shouter
He will never change
The book is a one-trick pony, but amusing and scary nonetheless.
August 22, 2019
3,5*
Good genes
All men are created equal
Well it’s not true
Some are smart, some aren’t
Do we believe in the gene thing? I mean, I do!
I'm blessed with good genes
Good (great) brain. Good-sized hands. German blood.
We have people that are stupid
They cannot help the fact that they were born fucked up
Slow horses don’t produce fast horses
A teraz potrebujem to isté - len pozliepané z Dankových výrokov.
Good genes
All men are created equal
Well it’s not true
Some are smart, some aren’t
Do we believe in the gene thing? I mean, I do!
I'm blessed with good genes
Good (great) brain. Good-sized hands. German blood.
We have people that are stupid
They cannot help the fact that they were born fucked up
Slow horses don’t produce fast horses
A teraz potrebujem to isté - len pozliepané z Dankových výrokov.
August 27, 2018
Hilarious and yet totally depressing.
March 21, 2024
Great poetry book. Very funny, very smart. A collection of true wisdom 😂😂
January 30, 2021
Great book. A lot of words. The best words! Shame, most of the poems are pretty short.
February 17, 2019
Many years ago, the President of the United States was a moron who couldn't navigate from one end of a sentence to the other without cocking the whole thing up like a right eejit. People made fun of this, and published many volumes of the 'wisdom' or 'poetry' of George W Bush's fatuous statements, pretending to take them seriously.
Compared to that, this book is lazy.
See, the problem with trying to do the same thing with Donald Trump is that most of what Donald Trump says is not prima facie moronic. Trump's pronouncements are, give or take the odd typo, largely comprehensible. They are objectionable not because he's unable to appreciate basic grammar, or because some clauses are total non sequiturs, or because he says the opposite of what he means, but because he's an arsehole. There's something inherently amusing about "we are living in an age of potential mental losses" or "put food on your family!" or "there are people who want to destroy America - and I wish them well!" or "Will the highways of the internet become more few?" that just isn't there in "grab them by the pussy!" or "they're bringing drugs, they're bringing crime, they're rapists" or the like.
[Trump is, of course, prone to talking incomprehensible nonsense. But that usually only becomes evident on the larger scale - his sentences ramble through unrelated topic, and he loses his train of thought every couple of seconds, so that many of his speeches are essentially unhinged stream-of-consciousness ranting. But most of the individual clauses do make sense, they just have no business being where they are.]
So instead, what Rob Sears does here is take random sentences from Trump, and juxtapose them in order to put something funnier into the President's mouth.
This is, basically, cheating - you could take literally any public figure and do exactly the same thing with their public statements.
And yet... it is, in its own way, an art form. It opens up possibilities. If you can pick any sentence he's ever said, stripped of context, and stack them together in any order, surely you can make some beautiful poetry? Surely you can use that to make some sort of a point? It's poetry with an extra dimension - you can juxtapose the meaning imposed by the context you give a quote with the context that we know it originally had (and, to be fair, every clause is diligently given a citation).
The result is disappointing - perhaps its greatest achievement is just in demonstrating how easy it is to write underwhelming modern poetry. It fails to impress, because it doesn't try - it settles for the easy joke, oh wow, Donald Trump is weird and stupid and evil. Which he is, of course, but if you stop when you hit that mark, you're not making full use of your resources.
[it's also disappointing that the most objectionable single sentence, "Vagina is expensive" is the only one that ISN'T a quote from Trump, but only a quote from Howard Stern's description of what Trump might have said to him once. Again, when he's said so many things on the record, this feels like cheating.]
-----------
That said, there are some good poems here, and very tellingly most of the best poems are ones where the author has actually tried to accomplish something, rather than juxtaposed two random sentences out of context.
The best by far is one of the few with a clear rationale: You can do anything simply juxtaposes a series of quotes, entirely in context, from two different speeches, in order to chilllingly demonstrate the President's hypocrisy:
You can do anything
At the heart of our country is the emphatic belief that every person has unique and infinite value
(I just start kissing them)
On average there are more than 300,000 instances of rape or other sexual assault that afflict our neighbors and loved ones every year
(It's like a magnet)
We all share the responsibility to reduce and ultimately end sexual violence
(I don't even wait)
Recent resarch has demonstrated the effectiveness of changing social norms that accept or allow indifferance to sexual violence
(You can do anything)
Our families, schools and communities must encourage respect for women
(Grab them by the pussy)
Together, we can, and must, protect our loved ones, families, campuses, and communities from the devastating and pervasive effects of sexual violence
(You can do anything)
Similarly, "Hot little girl in high school" works not by taking the President out of context, but by showing that some of what he says is revolting in any context, and assembles his quotes to make something that's actually faithful to his sentiments, even if he never said it all in one breath:
Hot little girl in high school
I'm a very compassionate person (with a very high IQ)
Just think, in a couple of years I'll be dating you
It must be a pretty picture, you dropping to your knees
Come here, I'll show you how life works. Please.
Similarly, if less incisively, a poem like "A dream" works as, as it were, a compendium of Trump's subconscious, that creates an entirely fictional scenario using his repeating imagery as a narrative through-line:
A dream
Trump Panama offers fine dining, five pools an luxury rooms
In those room you have cameras in the strangest places
I'm watching... we have televisions all over
You see these incredible-looking women
The top models in the world getting screwed on tables
Then, all of a sudden, the cameras swerve
And all of a sudden I see her
Stephen Baldwin's mother
She's totally changed her look
She's now got the big phoney tits
A black left hand and much different looking body
That nose is a piece of rubber
And she says:
I love your potatoes.
Weird
On the other hand, "Get ready for some excitement" creates a story by finding a weird coincidence (in remarks three years apart) with no deeper significance (underpinned of course by Trump's constant mendacity):
Get ready for some excitement!
China is going to complete 59 new theme parks by 2020.
We've just fired 59 missiles.
Fireworks!
And finally, a poem like "Does torture work?" works by finding a gem of absurdity to construct a theme around:
Does torture work?
Listen you motherfuckers
Not everything is nice
Waterboarding
Sleep deprivation
Me singing "Call me maybe"
I'm not saying it's pleasant but believe me it works
Unfortunately, poems like these, where the author has actually had a moment of inspiration, only highlight how little effort has been put into most of them - constructing "haikus" of his comments on individual rival politicians, for instance, tells us little when we've heard all those remarks before.
Compared to that, this book is lazy.
See, the problem with trying to do the same thing with Donald Trump is that most of what Donald Trump says is not prima facie moronic. Trump's pronouncements are, give or take the odd typo, largely comprehensible. They are objectionable not because he's unable to appreciate basic grammar, or because some clauses are total non sequiturs, or because he says the opposite of what he means, but because he's an arsehole. There's something inherently amusing about "we are living in an age of potential mental losses" or "put food on your family!" or "there are people who want to destroy America - and I wish them well!" or "Will the highways of the internet become more few?" that just isn't there in "grab them by the pussy!" or "they're bringing drugs, they're bringing crime, they're rapists" or the like.
[Trump is, of course, prone to talking incomprehensible nonsense. But that usually only becomes evident on the larger scale - his sentences ramble through unrelated topic, and he loses his train of thought every couple of seconds, so that many of his speeches are essentially unhinged stream-of-consciousness ranting. But most of the individual clauses do make sense, they just have no business being where they are.]
So instead, what Rob Sears does here is take random sentences from Trump, and juxtapose them in order to put something funnier into the President's mouth.
This is, basically, cheating - you could take literally any public figure and do exactly the same thing with their public statements.
And yet... it is, in its own way, an art form. It opens up possibilities. If you can pick any sentence he's ever said, stripped of context, and stack them together in any order, surely you can make some beautiful poetry? Surely you can use that to make some sort of a point? It's poetry with an extra dimension - you can juxtapose the meaning imposed by the context you give a quote with the context that we know it originally had (and, to be fair, every clause is diligently given a citation).
The result is disappointing - perhaps its greatest achievement is just in demonstrating how easy it is to write underwhelming modern poetry. It fails to impress, because it doesn't try - it settles for the easy joke, oh wow, Donald Trump is weird and stupid and evil. Which he is, of course, but if you stop when you hit that mark, you're not making full use of your resources.
[it's also disappointing that the most objectionable single sentence, "Vagina is expensive" is the only one that ISN'T a quote from Trump, but only a quote from Howard Stern's description of what Trump might have said to him once. Again, when he's said so many things on the record, this feels like cheating.]
-----------
That said, there are some good poems here, and very tellingly most of the best poems are ones where the author has actually tried to accomplish something, rather than juxtaposed two random sentences out of context.
The best by far is one of the few with a clear rationale: You can do anything simply juxtaposes a series of quotes, entirely in context, from two different speeches, in order to chilllingly demonstrate the President's hypocrisy:
You can do anything
At the heart of our country is the emphatic belief that every person has unique and infinite value
(I just start kissing them)
On average there are more than 300,000 instances of rape or other sexual assault that afflict our neighbors and loved ones every year
(It's like a magnet)
We all share the responsibility to reduce and ultimately end sexual violence
(I don't even wait)
Recent resarch has demonstrated the effectiveness of changing social norms that accept or allow indifferance to sexual violence
(You can do anything)
Our families, schools and communities must encourage respect for women
(Grab them by the pussy)
Together, we can, and must, protect our loved ones, families, campuses, and communities from the devastating and pervasive effects of sexual violence
(You can do anything)
Similarly, "Hot little girl in high school" works not by taking the President out of context, but by showing that some of what he says is revolting in any context, and assembles his quotes to make something that's actually faithful to his sentiments, even if he never said it all in one breath:
Hot little girl in high school
I'm a very compassionate person (with a very high IQ)
Just think, in a couple of years I'll be dating you
It must be a pretty picture, you dropping to your knees
Come here, I'll show you how life works. Please.
Similarly, if less incisively, a poem like "A dream" works as, as it were, a compendium of Trump's subconscious, that creates an entirely fictional scenario using his repeating imagery as a narrative through-line:
A dream
Trump Panama offers fine dining, five pools an luxury rooms
In those room you have cameras in the strangest places
I'm watching... we have televisions all over
You see these incredible-looking women
The top models in the world getting screwed on tables
Then, all of a sudden, the cameras swerve
And all of a sudden I see her
Stephen Baldwin's mother
She's totally changed her look
She's now got the big phoney tits
A black left hand and much different looking body
That nose is a piece of rubber
And she says:
I love your potatoes.
Weird
On the other hand, "Get ready for some excitement" creates a story by finding a weird coincidence (in remarks three years apart) with no deeper significance (underpinned of course by Trump's constant mendacity):
Get ready for some excitement!
China is going to complete 59 new theme parks by 2020.
We've just fired 59 missiles.
Fireworks!
And finally, a poem like "Does torture work?" works by finding a gem of absurdity to construct a theme around:
Does torture work?
Listen you motherfuckers
Not everything is nice
Waterboarding
Sleep deprivation
Me singing "Call me maybe"
I'm not saying it's pleasant but believe me it works
Unfortunately, poems like these, where the author has actually had a moment of inspiration, only highlight how little effort has been put into most of them - constructing "haikus" of his comments on individual rival politicians, for instance, tells us little when we've heard all those remarks before.
January 11, 2018
The insane ramblings of President Trump are collected in this splendid tome in the form of poetry after some extremely good research by Robert Sears. To avoid any cries of Fake News, every quote used has its associated source - from campaign speeches, to radio / press interviews, to Twitter storms and beyond. And while there may not be a lack of source material spuffing forth from the orange anus, the way Sears arranges it is truly wonderful, creating a beautiful silk purse from a putrid maggoty sow's ear.
He brings eloquence to the inarticulate ramblings of a raving idiot, creating perfect haikus, poetic rhymes and blank verse in the process. This book should be huuuuuuuge.
He brings eloquence to the inarticulate ramblings of a raving idiot, creating perfect haikus, poetic rhymes and blank verse in the process. This book should be huuuuuuuge.
November 29, 2019
Beautifully collected, beautifully read. Brief, and bigly satiric. Best words - true to the source.
"I am open minded. I use both iPhone and Samsung. A great leader needs to be flexible."
"I am open minded. I use both iPhone and Samsung. A great leader needs to be flexible."
March 18, 2022
Some good & funny ones
January 8, 2018
This inventive way to satirise Donald Trump's unique approach to the English language makes entertaining reading. I think the author may have started a whole new form of comedy here.
August 14, 2023
Listen you motherfuckers
Not everything is nice
Waterboarding
Sleep deprivation
Me singing "call me maybe"
I'm not saying it's pleasant but believe me, it works
Or,
I won!
Well, we had some disaster, but this is the worst
Or,
That fact, ugly face
She talks like a truck driver
She's got no talent
.
14 August, 2023
Not everything is nice
Waterboarding
Sleep deprivation
Me singing "call me maybe"
I'm not saying it's pleasant but believe me, it works
Or,
I won!
Well, we had some disaster, but this is the worst
Or,
That fact, ugly face
She talks like a truck driver
She's got no talent
.
14 August, 2023
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