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320 pages, Paperback
First published January 1, 1948
It was one of the most beautiful things I had ever seen. ‘It’s one of the most beautiful things I’ve ever seen,’ I said, putting it down on the tray.
I never saw such a crowd of dikes and faggots. This was their joint, by God, and they were all over it hanging over the tables, standing by the tables, sitting on the tables, blocking the aisle, filling the tiny dance space; all of them wearing a different kind of perfume that collected into a ball of debauched saccharinity and bounced off the walls and the ceiling and the floor. This was their joint, and here, by God, they could afford to be unrestrained. Here there were none of the daytime world’s hostile faces to haunt them, none of the daytime world’s cruel contemptuous eyes, none of the daytime world’s merciless incompassion…This was their joint, by God, and around it and inside it they developed the innate defences which nature evolves in its weak: remoteness and repellence.
We all had a touch of twilight in our souls; in every man there are homosexual tendencies, this is immutable, there is no variant, the only variant is the depth of the latency, but in me these tendencies were not being stirred, even faintly, they were there, but this was not stirring them. No. The sameness was of the species, of the psyche, of the.…They were rebels too, rebels introverted; I was a rebel extroverted – theirs was the force that did not kill, mine was the force that did kill…