The Little Book of Big Lies: A Journey into Inner Fitness

by Tina Lifford

An inspiring and illuminating guide to true self care, from the sage teacher and breakout star of the critically acclaimed drama, Queen Sugar, from Executive Producers Oprah Winfrey and Ava DuVernay for OWN.

In all your years of schooling, did you ever take a single class that explained how to navigate the hurt, drama, and fear that come with living? Tina Lifford sure didn’t. She learned the hard way—through experience as both a Hollywood actress and as the founder of the personal development network The Inner Fitness Project. Now, she brings together her own hard-won insights as well as those of her clients in this helpful and transformative guide. A blend of personal anecdotes and meaningful, practical—and most important, actionable—advice, The Little Book of Big Lies is the life skills class you need to nurture the inner you and move beyond the past.

In fourteen raw, personal stories, Tina teaches you how to change your self-perception—to see yourself in the best possible light, to love and honor what you see, and to forge a new sense of what’s possible in every aspect of your life. But make no mistake, The Little Book of Big Lies is not a “rah-rah” quick fix for fear and pain. Like physical fitness, building and maintaining emotional strength requires continued effort. This invaluable book is the foundation you need to start building inner health and well-being so you can thrive.

Tina guides you on a journey of self-discovery that will help you turn shame into self-acceptance, self-rejection into self-love, blame into freedom, and old hurt into power. Wise and powerful, The Little Book of Big Lies will completely change how you think and live.

Genres: Self Help, Nonfiction, Personal Development, Psychology, Audiobook, Memoir, Inspirational

224 pages, Hardcover

First published November 25, 2012

About the author

Hollywood veteran Tina Lifford plays the vivacious breakout character Aunt Vi on the critically acclaimed television drama, Queen Sugar. She has played over 100 characters in her long-standing career, including notable roles on Scandal and Parenthood. Equally accomplished behind the camera, Tina is the respected playwright of THE CIRCLE, a play about how seven diverse women navigate the choppy waters of life together, author of The Little Book of BIG LIES, and CEO of The Inner Fitness Project, a personal development network committed to making the practices and benefits of “Inner Fitness” as familiar, well understood and accessible as those of physical fitness. Tina refers to herself as an Inner Fitness Advocate and Strategist, providing information and life strategies that build a strong, resilient inner Self capable of masterfully navigating life's challenges and opportunities. In particular, Tina's focus offers a lifeline to women who have come to the sobering realization that a mate, career, money and a big house…and even the kids they love deeply…don’t fulfill the “something’s missing” that only a rich relationship with one’s Self provides. Through the Inner Fitness lens, Tina encourages every woman, no matter her age, to acknowledge the Self that lives inside of her, embrace her innate worth and learn to take her power back from old hurt, in order to BE fully alive and thrive.

Reviews

[Kay P (MelaninMindscape) · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book was amazing! Once I finished, I immediately knew that a re-read would be necessary in order to catch all of the gems and wisdom (and take notes). Tina Lifford is truly thee "inner workout" coach and trainer. This book is well-written and easy to ready. It's full of honesty and "aha" moments. She lays out the blueprint for living well, removing the barriers that hold us back and how to thrive. This is one book that you will need to keep on the nightstand and refer to over and over again.

[Judith · Rating 4 out of 5]

This book was very powerful. A must read and definitely one that I have to reread often in my self developmenr/growth journey.

[Book Reviews by Tara aka Queen of Memoirs · Rating 4 out of 5]

As a lover of personal growth and self-development books I found The Little Book of Big Lies very fulfilling. Tina drops a lot of gems within these pages. I had many ah-ha moments while reading & journaling this book.
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To begin, Tina introduces us to three parts of ourselves.
1. T𝐡𝐞 𝐬𝐮𝐫𝐯𝐢𝐯𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐬𝐞𝐥𝐟 - The fearful part of us that is always ready to fight to protect itself. Quick to judge and take things personally.
2. T𝐡𝐞 𝐭𝐡𝐫𝐢𝐯𝐢𝐧𝐠 S𝐞𝐥𝐟 - The part of ourselves that want to grow. Believes everything can change for the better.
3. T𝐡𝐞 𝐢𝐧𝐟𝐢𝐧𝐢𝐭𝐞 SELF - The God within us. The highest self.
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In the book we learn how we are affected by these three parts of ourselves. The ultimate goal is to leave behind the surviving self, because it serves little to no purpose in adulthood. Living from the surviving self is what causes problems like insecurities, anxiety and many other emotional issues. We must graduate from the “surviving self” to the “thriving Self”.

What I enjoyed about the book is that it’s not over complicated. It is very easy to read. Even when the author introduces a new concept, she provides simple definitions for us to understand. Her ability to break down her theories in a relatable, easy to process way is what I like most.
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Another great aspect of the book is that it is filled with many thought provoking questions. For example, on page 62 Tina asks, “What does your mind dwell on when you don’t pay attention?” I think this is a great question! Most people live on mental autopilot, not giving any consideration to their own thoughts. But this book allows us to see how our unconscious thoughts affects us both physically and emotionally.

Tina tackles so many concepts. She writes about insecurity and confidence, the necessity to change, the power of visualization, how to handle negative emotions, the truth about becoming upset, and so much more.

This book is a very easy and quick read. If you’re looking to increase your emotional IQ, then you may want to add this book to your library.

[Pamela Robinson · Rating 5 out of 5]

“The Little Book of Big Lies” is brilliant! The use of eleven questions and hence eleven answers, told in engaging life stories, leading to an understanding of “up until now” and “from this point forward” is life changing. Simply put this book resonates and unlike many books in this genre it is easy and actionable, not overwhelming. Thank you Tina Lifford for this gem, sharing your approach on a return to Self.

[Deborah Brown · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is a must-read in the area of Self-care. Tina has created some easy-to-model tools for unpacking the baggage that weighs us down and keeps us playing small. Once the bags are unpacked, new stuff goes in, like self-appreciation and a renewed zest for life. I love the simplicity of the book. There are 14 stories that help identify life-sucking lies and how to knock them down to size. I really recommend this book for anyone who has unresolved hurts that seem to mask life's joy and happiness.

[Haley · Rating 5 out of 5]

Is there a grade better than A+? This book should receive that grade. It would be a disservice for me to try and re-explain the lessons taught here; instead, anyone should just give it a read (or listen - the author reads the audiobook!) I appreciated learning about why we experience the same pain and dysfunction over and over in life, and how to stop the cycle.

[Feisty Harriet · Rating 2 out of 5]

Maybe a little more memoir than self-help book, and more religious-based woo-woo than scientific based fact. 2.5 stars for me, this isn't really my jam.

[Donna · Rating 3 out of 5]

This is Nonfiction. Many readers have shelved this as "self help" but I'm not sure I got that vibe. It felt more like the author's memoir. She had a story to tell and used a lot of personal experiences. She shares the information that has helped her deal with life events and overall, how she became a better, stronger person.

I liked the positivity in this one. As the title implies, the author stresses how toxic it is to NOT believe the lies others tell us about ourselves as well as the lies, we tell ourselves about ourselves. Even with that being said, I'm not sure I was the target audience for this because, while I thought this was nice, it was in the back of my mind that I'm sure it would probably be helpful to someone else. So 2 stars.

[Kiera · Rating 5 out of 5]

Great reminder of how to change our negative ways of thinking. We often forget how to boost ourselves up and think positively. We constantly need reminders of how to think of ourselves positively. We have reinforced negative thinking by remembering negative scenarios rather than the positive ones. I suggest everyone pick up this book to remind yourself that you can generate positive energy around you.

[Kendra · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book is a must read! We all think of being healthy physically but inwardly we could actually stand to be a little more healthier. My personal take away from Tina's book is to remember that being comfortable is good but stepping out of our comfort zones and pursuing our deepest desires is way better.

[Sadie Hall · Rating 4 out of 5]

This little book made me smile almost the whole way through, and there were many moments of eye-opening self-reflection and appreciative nods.

I listened to the audiobook, which is narrated by the author, and it took the experience to the next level. Lifford's voice is beautiful, powerful, and calming. Her words, too.

I'm not a spiritual person so I thought I might not connect with those parts of the book, but I actually found them just as fascinating.

I would definitely read more by Tina Lifford!

[Chasity R · Rating 4 out of 5]

I love self-help books so my affinity probably sways my rating 😂

But I really enjoyed how the author shared her experiences & wove in uplifting words of encouragement in the text. I also enjoyed the exploration/transformation of Self and Source.

If you don’t believe in those things this book may not resonate with you.

[ReadnliftwithShar · Rating 5 out of 5]

Lot of good information. Paced well with stories and unforgettable quotes. Feel like I learned a lot of things.

[Ashley Case · Rating 4 out of 5]

This was going to get 5 stars about half way through. But the second half is filled with her privilege and riches and becomes less relatable. 3.5 stars.

[Amy · Rating 5 out of 5]

So many good nuggets of wisdom in this book. I listened to it on audio and it was fantastic- read by Tina (author). I would like to get it in print so I can highlight some passages and quotes.

[Shravni · Rating 3 out of 5]

Absolutely stunning writing which pushes one towards soul searching! It's not a self-help, but a self-healing book. Would recommend 💯.

[Kianah Brooks · Rating 5 out of 5]

Tina provides practical steps to deal with negative thinking and bad circumstances.

[Krista · Rating 4 out of 5]

This was an unconventional self-help book. It was a living document. I totally think it should be a journal of some sort. It’s so good. I will definitely revisit this book over and over again. The way Tina wrote it was so graceful and delegate regarding us doing the work of inner fitness. I ready for my bookclub and I wish I had read it personally because one month is not enough time for this but you really have to sit with it and reflect on it. Tina graciously attended a Book Club meeting for us and it was just as eye-opening as reading the book.

[Joi · Rating 5 out of 5]

Great read. It is one that I will reread and apply to different areas of my life. I like the authors relatable stories. I also liked the steps and questions. Definitely worth trying.

[Ruby C · Rating 3 out of 5]

Good points

This book was recommended to me by a good friend. She's read it several times as she has made breakthroughs within her self. That's what prompted me to read it. While it did open some ideas of myself I hadn't previously considered, it wasn't life altering. Good book, though.

[Tiffany · Rating 4 out of 5]

I appreciated the words that Tina offered. There are quite a few gems in this book. For example: “To get to ‘one day,’ we must invest in today.” Another gem that resonated with me was “Healing happens when we change our old response and respond with more self-acceptance and love.” It’s a self-help book that will have you highlighting and that’s definitely how it should be. In my opinion, there is something for everyone, in between her pages. She uses personal stories (which are just right) to guide us in understanding the lessons that she is trying to present. I like that she comes off as understanding and empathetic, throughout the book. I’ve read self-help books where authors use the opportunity to brag, but Tina was very mindful with her choice of words. She made sure to always keep the reader first, which I appreciated. I would definitely recommend this book to anyone looking for some enlightenment. It’s a quick, simple but yet, profound read.

[Parkway · Rating 2 out of 5]

No novel advise and uneventful.

[slscot · Rating 5 out of 5]

I felt like I was in my own individual coaching session!

This book was wonderful to read. Tina Lifford asked us as readers questions that helps us become aware of Self. I appreciate the authors transparency that allowed me to not only relate but also have action steps I can apply.

There are so many takeaways but one nugget of truth that the author have that spoke to me is:
" I can't is not a choice. It is a fussy avoidance of a deeper truth. "

Now when and if I say "I can't" - I should really think about the truth behind that statement in that moment and own it.

[Talitha Baker · Rating 5 out of 5]

Solid and helpful little book. If you’ve done the work in therapy (or elsewhere) to build a baseline level of inner fitness, this should help amplify that.

Low grade spiritual.... like an episode of Oprah not a religious book.

[Shelley Rocha · Rating 5 out of 5]

Truly enjoyed

Easy to read. Lots of practical ideas to incorporate into my journey.
They say I need 8 more words to review - so there

[Melissa Medley · Rating 5 out of 5]

A must read to rewrite the negative story in our head. A must read to start over and be successful and face challenges.

[Lauren · Rating 2 out of 5]

Review to come, maybe? I have thoughts.

[WritingReadingSoul · Rating 4 out of 5]

Lifford’s The Little Book of Big Lies is not a one-stop read or quick fix. Filled with practical steps to create a life of “inner fitness," it is a reference manual for a person who believes the lies that family or society have imparted and who needs a resource for transformation. Organized by “11 Questions for Unpacking the Lies that Make You Feel Sad or Small,” this guide is filled with Lifford’s own real-world examples that make the book readable and believable. She doesn’t sidestep revealing difficult situations or impossible people. They all serve as wayshowers for the reader’s internal growth. At the end of each chapter, Lifford includes an “Inner Fitness Practice” with steps on how to integrate the “truth” and the possibilities for change. Examples of the “big lies” include “some pain lasts forever,” “you don’t matter; your feelings don’t matter,” and “other people and things cause you to be upset,” to name a few.
I recommend this book if you’re looking for an information-packed gem of wisdom and practical advice. 4.5 stars/5

[Rosa · Rating 4 out of 5]

I would really rate this a 3.5

Simple but profound, is how I would best describe this book and the power is in the doing (some of the exercises) not just reading. I read this book as a buddy read with two other people and it made for rich discussions and led to insights I might have glossed over. Points off for the ending, I would have liked a better wrap up. Still, there are many thoughtful ideas and there were lots ‘aha’ moments had while reading this book. Many were reminders of things we know, but don’t always focus on. Here is one of many favorites:

“‘One day’—when life is better—is a lie that can take half a lifetime to see. “One day” brings us nothing if we don’t learn what “today” has to teach us. I refer to one-day thinking as chasing the future at the expense of today. It’s a ruthless, irrational no-win game, because it mows past the present moment looking for something better, as though the present moment doesn’t count.” p. 128

I hope you enjoy this “small but mighty” book.

[Udodi · Rating 5 out of 5]

At first I didn't realize that Tina Lifford was the actress who plays Aunt Violet on Queen Sugar. I did keep thinking that her voice was so familiar. It gave me quite a chuckle to realize that she was one ann the same period and also to realize that she was in the space of self-improvement and spiritual growth. I really, really enjoyed this book and the presentation of the material was accessible and easy to implement. It is one that I intend to come back to many, many times. Inner fitness is just as important as outer fitness (physical) fitness and Ms. Lifford does an excellent job of providing exercises and perspectives on how to become fit on the inside by dispelling lies that we have taken for granted as truth for so long. I would recommend this book to anyone on a journey of self-realization, true self-love, and freedom.