Loving through Your Differences: Building Strong Relationships from Separate Realities

by James L. Creighton

FIND HAPPINESS AND FULFILLMENT THROUGH — RATHER THAN DESPITE — YOUR DIFFERENCES Dr. James Creighton has worked with couples for decades, facilitating communication and conflict resolution and teaching them the tools to build healthy, happy relationships. He has found that many couples start out believing they like the same things, see people the same way, and share a united take on the world. But inevitably differences crop up, and it can be profoundly discouraging to find that one’s partner sees a person, situation, or decision completely differently. Although many relationships flounder at this point, Creighton shows that this can actually be an opportunity to forge stronger ties. In Loving through Your Differences, he draws on the latest research in cognitive science and developmental psychology to show how we invent our realities with our perceptual minds. He then provides clear, concrete tools for shifting our perceptions and reframing our responses. The result moves couples out of the fear and alienation of “your way or my way” and into a deep understanding of the other that allows for an “our way.” As Creighton shows, this way of being together, based on the reality of individuality rather than the illusion of sameness, sets the stage for long-term excitement, discovery, and fulfillment.

202 pages, Kindle Edition

Published February 5, 2019

About the author

Librarian note:
There is more than one author in the GoodReads database with this name

James L. Creighton, PhD

Reviews

[Madison Carver · Rating 4 out of 5]

I started this book to get a head start to my human growth and development along with my multicultural counseling courses for grad school. This book offered a lot of insight into why people act in a certain way or feel frustration when it comes to communicating with others. Highly recommend for anyone going into the counseling field or even those who want to work on overall communication skills not just with a spouse, but everyone.

[Tristy at New World Library · Rating 5 out of 5]

Endorsements:
“This jewel of a book — simple, clear, and profound — is packed with wisdom to help two separate people love wholeheartedly.”
— Linda Carroll, MS, LMFT, BCC, psychotherapist and author of Love Cycles: The Five Essential Stages of Lasting Love

“A highly readable and practical guide to handling differences gracefully. James Creighton coaches us on how to change the attitudes and behaviors that lead to conflict. He shows how, by responsibly negotiating through mutually satisfying guidelines, couples can cocreate successful, deeply fulfilling, loving relationships.”
— Linda Bloom, coauthor of 101 Things I Wish I Knew When I Got Married: Simple Lessons to Make Love Last

“This book has a crucial role in people’s lives — whether in a marital relationship, extended family, or close friendships. The most valuable insight is that you have a right to your emotional reality and that others have realities of their own. It is not a matter of ‘right or wrong’ but of listening with both your head and heart to reach understandings.”
— Barry Mccarthy, coauthor of Enduring Desire

[Mary Urbanski · Rating 5 out of 5]

Differences are so hard in relationships! This book has been a great tool for navigating the different values, perspectives, histories, and communication styles in my relationship with my partner. This book is very up-to-date with a number of approaches to relationship work presented in a clear, concise, and practical format.