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182 pages, Paperback
First published August 14, 2019

"He digs people who straddle the divide between hep and square, margin and MOR, a no-man's zone where apparent squares take on the prompts of hip and parlay them into a wider audience...
"Fagen is funny but acute on that moment in our teenage years when we snub our parents and dismiss all authority figures but simultaneously initiate a desperate search for persuasively hep figures, people to tell us exactly what we should listen to, view, and read. What to dig."

("Readers of Lacan may object that the subject seems a bit old to be having any kind of mirror stage moment, but we all know entertainers are a child-like crew who don't grow up at the same rate as the rest of us.").
"a black R'n'B artist who juggled shiny white pop signifiers; a self-amused imp who made us follow his playfully dense personal mythology from work to work, never knowing what we might find next time round, in what form Prince might return, sometimes mere months later."
"I was dreaming when I wrote this,
Forgive me if it goes astray."
"They let me roam, these revolving tracks."
‘The simple things, the essences, are the great things, but our way of expressing them can be incredibly complex—How do the intense ardour and idealism of all those modernist dreams live on in the freeze-dried clamour of postmodernism? Are we really all modernists now? Sometimes we look more like the bloodless archivists of a real gone time.’
‘Lyrics that initially seem a bit corny slowly reveal an oblique—mood: gratitude tinged with melancholy, love vamped by desperate nostalgia. You’ve survived – but others haven’t. You’ve survived—but maybe everything seems a bit pale now. Time creeps. Once you bear this in mind, all sorts of innocent-seeming lines take on a different air.’
‘Public confidence and private terrors. Great distances and perplexing intimacy. Single malt and double lives in Miami, Washington, London, Rome—unreliable narrator, star witness, mole in his own life—Despite all the success and acclaim, there does seem to have been a salt-lick of bitterness about him—There were signs of a breach in his formerly impregnable taste. He recorded songs he really shouldn’t have. He married someone he probably shouldn’t have.’
‘I have deeply ambivalent feelings about the over-canonized Beats, but it’s easy to forget the reason they were elected figureheads in the first place: they sallied forth into the unknown and set about indexing the whole of American dreaming, not just a few choice, sanitized cuts. Some of their takes on black culture may now strike us as risible and patronizing, and some of the quasi-religious holy-fool sub-notes feel a bit self-hypnotized (and on, and on); but at the time, they were navigating wholly without maps.’
‘The middle of the night, when names and colours matter least. In the end, a painful reality triumphed over all easeful fantasy, and pain-numbing drugs emptied out the interfering dialogue of everyone and everything else. One morning you awake and all the time has melted away: no more hotel bedroom afternoons, light moving like seaweed over the pale impersonal walls. All your life, dreaming of the other side of the mirror, where the colours all reverse, and now you finally remember what it was you saw in that dressing room mirror, so long ago: clouds, full of rain.’
‘People can have an on-again off-again relationship with their drug of choice for years before fetching up with a full-blown addiction. He seems to have compressed this untidy, protracted arc just as his hero did, leaping overnight from disciplined abstinence to shivery chemical bondage. Never mind the occasional cheeky puff on a joint or weekend Ecstasy tumble: he goes straight to super-strength prescription narcotics. The official version is that it all began with operations he underwent on his poor shattered hips, frail after decades of on-stage athletics in unsuitable high-heels.’
‘How did he get away with some of this stuff? What do those guarded eyes discern, or foresee? Readers of Lacan may object that the subject seems a bit old to be having any kind of mirror stage moment, but we all know entertainers are a child-like crew who don’t grow up at the same rate as the rest of us, if at all—What does he see there that he’s so determined to keep his face blank and give nothing away? Is it a mask hiding a world of perplexity? Narcissus in search of some missing echo?’
‘He felt (in his own words) ‘nauseated’, and then burst into floods of tears. In the morning, he was one person; by the end of the day, ‘it was the start of the rest of my life’. He later called it a ‘hysterical conversion experience’, and it determined both his subsequent musical career and dependably contrarian worldview.’
‘The long night finally ends when he nods off, the cigar sets his cheap mattress on fire, and the hotel has to be evacuated. In 1975, I read and reread this litany of stains and wounds and had my head turned around by the music and somehow it all seemed like a piece. None of it struck me as especially odd or extravagant or depressing—It may be a cracked whisper rather than his usual keening flight, it may have come from a pitiful, blasted place, but it sounds like a last desperate attempt at communication, before the lights go out.’
‘Even if you’ve loved this music for half a lifetime, you can find the algebraic lingo of jazz theory about as clarifying as a book of logarithms baked in mud.’