Never Sit If You Can Dance: Lessons from My Mother

by Jo Giese

Jo’s mother, Babe, liked to drink, dance, and stay up very late. When the husband she adored went on sales calls, she waited for him in the parking lot, embroidering pillowcases. Jo grew up thinking that the last thing she wanted was to be like her mother. Then it dawned on her that her own happiness was derived in large part from lessons Babe had taught her. Her mother might have had tomato aspic and stewed rhubarb in her fridge, while Jo had organic kale and almond milk in hers, but in more important ways they were much closer in spirit than Jo had once thought.

At a turbulent time in America, Never Sit If You Can Dance offers uplifting lessons in old-fashioned civility that will ring true with mothers, daughters, and their families. Told with lighthearted good humor, it’s a charming tale of the way things used to be—and probably still should be.

Genres: Nonfiction, Memoir, Biography Memoir

146 pages, Kindle Edition

First published April 23, 2019

About the author

Jo Giese is an award-winning radio journalist, Amazon Bestselling author, former TV & radio reporter. As a special correspondent, she was part of the Peabody Award–winning team at Marketplace, the most popular business program in America. At Marketplace she won an EMMA for Exceptional Radio Story from the National Women’s Political Caucus and a GRACIE from the Foundation of American Women in Radio. She has contributed to Ira Glass’s This American Life and is the author of A Woman’s Path (St. Martin’s Press), The Good Food Compendium (Doubleday) and the memoir, Never Sit If You Can Dance: Lessons from My Mother (She Writes Press). Giese has written for scores of publications, including The New York Times, the Los Angeles Times, Vogue, LA Weekly, European Travel & Life, and The Malibu Times.

Reviews

[Rebecca · Rating 3 out of 5]

She Writes Press releases women’s memoirs of consistently high quality and interest. I found this one a little thin, but it would make an ideal Mother’s Day present and appeals to a sense of nostalgia for the good old days of traditional values (like hard work, optimism, gratitude and generosity). Mostly, this little book is a tribute to her late mother, known as “Babe,” who lived to nearly 98 and was quite the character. She loved to host parties and dance and wore eye-popping colors, especially red. Losing her husband of 50+ years didn’t keep her from traveling, and moving into a nursing home into her 90s didn’t cramp her style either. She was lucky to never suffer from any major illness.

As a young woman Giese looked down somewhat on her mother for deferring to her husband’s career: moving from Seattle to Houston, and sitting in the car embroidering while he made sales pitches for shipyard equipment. Only later in life – after that age 30 watershed when it’s said that women start to resemble their mothers – did she appreciate her mother’s sacrifices and moral support.

While most of the lessons she draws from her mother’s example are positive, there’s one area in which she diverges from Babe’s attitude: Babe was stingy with praise, whether out of jealousy for her daughter or because she thought it immodest to broadcast her family’s achievements. Giese, on the other hand, says, “I try never to let a compliment go unsaid. If I ever think something positive about someone or something—even the most fleeting thought—I share it before it vanishes.” However, she’s developed her mother’s optimism into a personal mantra that has seen her through many challenging times: “In spite of what’s happening, it’s okay to be happy today.”

(I received an advance review copy for free, and I am leaving this review voluntarily.)

[Althea ☾ · Rating 3 out of 5]

Never Sit If You Can Dance is about a woman's appreciation for her mother and the lessons we learn from our own. Sometimes we don't realize it but our mothers always have these life lessons to teach us. It reminded me of my own mother and I was able to relate to a number of these lessons.

I very much enjoyed this book.

Thanks to the publisher and the author for sending me an ARC through Booksirens to review. All thoughts and opinions are my own.

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[Frosty61 · Rating 4 out of 5]

I enjoyed this one mostly due to the common sense and upbeat lessons that the author's late mother passed along to her. 'Babe' was feisty, smart, witty, and embraced life to the fullest whenever possible. While we'd all like to strive for the good life, it's not always possible due to failing health, financial issues, etc. I'd caution readers to not compare Babe's life with theirs - it may result in their lives coming up short given her family's ability to afford caregivers, an ideal living arrangement, etc. That said, her attitude is what made this one uplifting.

My favorite lesson from Babe: Go! While You Can.

[Elizabeth · Rating 4 out of 5]

Thank you to the author, I received a free copy of this book in exchange for an honest review.

Oh how I loved this book! It just warmed my heart, so many of Babe’s gems that I had to write down and will keep close. I was reminded again that it’s the little things: never show up empty handed, send a thank you note, the happiness of giving and receiving flowers, that can make all the difference. I especially loved the chapter on the “good” goodbye. It reminded me so much of my grandparents and how their goodbye made you feel like the most important and cherished person on this earth. Thank you Ms. Jo Giese for sharing a little bit of your mother Babe with us. I think everyone that reads Babe’s story will be better for it.

[Donna · Rating 4 out of 5]

A lovely tribute to the author's mother, Babe, who lived life to the fullest, embraced the concept of carpe diem, imparted wisdom of how to live life and who never wore dull clothes. Told in a series of vignettes, Jo Giese conveys Babe's personality as well as the journey a daughter takes in her mother's final years.

[Kimberlee Clare · Rating 1 out of 5]

I wouldn’t support this author. Her treatment of fellow humans leaves a lot to be desired and her ableist / online trolling via Instagram is appalling.

[Toni · Rating 5 out of 5]

Lessons for life and living

We incorporate more from a Mother than we even notice at the time. This book comforted me regarding similar situations that I experienced with my own Mother. It is a short , but powerful read.

[Taylor (Books&Beanies) · Rating 5 out of 5]

Never Sit If You Can Dance is a wonderful memoir about a woman and the lessons she learned from her mother. Each chapter is a different lesson that Jo learned from her mom since she was a child. She explains each lesson through a story on how she learned that lesson and how she still applies these lessons to her life daily. The author speaks so highly of her mother that you have no doubt how much she must appreciate and love her.

This book is such an easy and beautiful read. Being on 144 pages, I could have read this book in a matter of a couple of hours, but I was enjoying it so much that I decided to savor it. This book is so well written and also easily relatable. I’m so glad I requested to read it on BookSirens. 

The lessons that ‘Babe.’ Jo’s mother taught her were things like, ‘Never Show Up Empty-Handed,’ ‘Don’t Be Drab,’ ‘Make The Most of What You’ve Got,’ and of course, ‘Never Sit If You Can Dance.’ After reading this book I feel like Babe has also taught me these lessons and I will probably start applying them to my everyday life.

I would recommend this book to anyone looking for a mother/daughter memoir or just a simple, yet amazing read.

Thank you BookSirens for the opportunity to read this book in exchange for an honest review.

[Flybyreader · Rating 3 out of 5]

This is a cozy, heart-warming little book, written by Jo Giese as a tribute to her family, which is the most precious and meaningful thing a person can have in life. Her mother, Babe is clearly an eccentric person and her advices are clear-cut and still valid. Though she grew up in one of the worst times of human history, in 1916, never worked and was a housewife all her life, her way of upbringing children, taking care of her family and the example she set was quite praiseworthy and it is quite clear that the author so proud of her that she wrote a book in her memory. I liked the way the chapters were formed, the life story and messages given but there was nothing too extraordinary or special and I found the language a little too simplistic for my taste. Overall a warm and fun everyday read.

(I received a copy from BookSirens in exchange for an honest review.)

[Carla Suto · Rating 5 out of 5]

NEVER SIT IF YOU CAN DANCE by Jo Giese is a heartfelt and uplifting memoir written in celebration of her mother, Babe. I loved the light-hearted and poignant way that the author shared some of the life lessons learned from her mother and her family that have stayed with her to this day. I found myself thinking of my own Mom and how much of the way I do things comes from her example. By the end of this touching little book, I felt like I knew Babe personally. She certainly knew how to live life to the fullest, a lesson from which we can all benefit. I truly enjoyed this lovely tribute to the author’s mother and I highly recommend it. Thank you to the author for the kind gift of a signed copy.

[Annie Mondesir · Rating 5 out of 5]

Babe!

A mother that definitely deserved her very own book, let alone that sentence.

This book was ultimately a love story to Babe, written by her daughter Jo Giese. Sharing all of the special, witty, kind and often laugh out-loud wisdom that Babe passed on to Jo, we are given a beautiful gift.

This gift unwraps one chapter at a time, and it is just glorious advice. I know I will remember them, as I want to put into practice. Especially “Nobody Likes Depressed people”.

Brilliant!

Jo – I trust your Mother was with you for that special Mother’s Day! I have a feeling her spirit was strong.

I received an advance review copy for free, and I am leaving this review voluntarily.

[Jen · Rating 4 out of 5]

This was a very sweet memoir of the authors mother, Babe. Though she grew up thinking that she wanted to be something different than her mother, the author recounts all the lessons she's learned, and now emulates because of her. A very easy, quick read (it took me less than an afternoon while waiting on the hubby to mow a large property), this was a loving testament to the way things "used" to be, and how the ideals of generations past could shape the future.

[Brenda · Rating 4 out of 5]

This lovely little memoir is written by Jo Giese; award winning radio journalist, author, former TV reporter. Written about her mother, Babe, and the lessons she learned from her. Funny, sweet, and thoughtful. I loved reading this little gem :)

[Amy · Rating 4 out of 5]

A lovely tribute to the author's mother. There are many lessons we learn from our parents if we are willing to listen. I really enjoyed reading through the lessons that 'Babe' had to share.

[Jane Kelsey · Rating 5 out of 5]

Loved it. Review to follow

[Melanie Johnson · Rating 3 out of 5]

The author writes a book of essays about the lessons that her mom, Babe, taught her. I can imagine that Babe was so full of life and she obviously taught the author much about life. There were some funny, laugh out loud moments and some really sad moments as her mom lost people that she loved.

[Jakky · Rating 4 out of 5]

A lovely celebration of daughter/mother relationship. Many wonderful lessons, many that I already live by...

[Karah · Rating 5 out of 5]

I read this in the bathtub all night. I feel blessed to be aware of Babe. What a remarkable woman! I wish she could've lived longer to see her Mother's Day bonanza. Nonetheless, her life overflowed with joy and love. Babe was a woman to emulate.

Cheers to feminine greatness!

[The Dwarf Did It... · Rating 4 out of 5]

Im very picky when it comes to reading memoirs but I have to say this was a great read! It's a short book but it reminded me of my mother and I. My mother is eccentric and dramatic but until I read this I never realized how much of my mother I have brought into the upbringing of my children. I live by most of the values in this book and I hope to pass it onto my kids and they see me in a similar light.

[Patricia · Rating 3 out of 5]

Everyone should have a Babe in their lives to push them to enjoy life more.

[Shannon Navin · Rating 4 out of 5]

You know all those things that your mom and/or grandma say that you don’t pay any attention to day-to-day but become part of the fabric of your life? That’s what this book is about. A light read with a heavier impact, this book is sweet and endearing but will leave you slightly emotional and weave it’s way into your thoughts long after you’ve turned the last page!

Giese’s book is a memoir: she positions it as a memoir of her mother’s life but, in truth, it is also a memoir of her own. Her mom, whom she calls ‘Babe,’ was born in 1916 and is clearly a product of her time. Giese tells her mother’s story in vignettes, each representing some saying or life lesson that she impressed upon others. Everything from ‘Don’t be drab’ to ‘Never leave a compliment unsaid,’ Babe’s lessons are straightforward and initially, I worried that there wasn’t quite enough there to warrant a book. I’m glad I kept reading, however, as Babe’s life lessons (though perhaps coming off as a little simple and dated) are as important and applicable globally as they were to the person she became.

Babe lived the classic 1940s and 50s housewife life…she raised three children, supported a working husband and managed relationships with her extended family. Not all was rosy for her, however, and Giese allows us a peek inside the crippling depression that Babe suffered with after several miscarriages and the pain that losing a spouse and outliving all of one’s friends must cause.

Through Giese’s book, we see a picture of a loving wife and mother in Babe. We also see some of the typical mother-daughter discontent that arises over a lifetime of loving one another. The lessons that Giese gleans from her mother’s outlook on life are poignant and honest: you can imagine that although Giese grew into her appreciation of her mother’s wisdom, it likely grated on her when she was younger and had less of the gift of hindsight. While it’s possible to question whether or not Babe’s lessons are really that important…I dare you to read about her methods for saying goodbye and not have it change the way you view partings forever.

Giese is a journalist by trade and the book is written in a very straightforward, friendly style. I admire the way she tells her mother story cleanly and allows the reader to draw his/her own conclusions while still fortifying the tales with her own impressions and feelings. This book could easily have devolved into a ‘Don’t Worry, Be Happy’ guidebook from the 1950s. Giese, however, infuses the stories with her peronsal spin and allows the reader to see how Babe’s tutelage impacted the woman she ultimately became. Giese allows the reader to follow her mother right up to her death in 2015 and leaves us, through her stories with a better understanding of what vulnerability and nurturing really mean.

At 168 pages, Never Sit If You Can Dance is a quick and easy read. Be careful though. You may not recognize the deep impact that book’s simple message is having upon you until you close the book and walk away. Babe’s message, as well as Giese’s, will stick with you and wander back to you like an old friend just when you least expect it!

[DALIP · Rating 5 out of 5]

It Would Indeed Be A Shame To Rate This Epic Just A 5 Star Alone..It Is So Heart Warming One Minute And So Tearful The Very Next As It Tugs At The Very Heartstrings. Just The Very Thought Of Tagging It To Merely 5 * Does Unspeakable Injustice To Both Jo Giese As Well As Her Indomitable MoM Gladys “Babe” Sylvia Kenney Giese Who Inspired This Book From Her Personal Life Teachings.
Having Lived To Be 97 Years, 8 Months & 25 Days.To Even Say That She Lived A Full Life Till Her Very Last Breath Would Be An Under Statement.
The Legacy She Left Behind Not Just For Her Family & Loved Ones Alone But Anyone Who Cares To Read ‘Never Sit When You Can Dance’ Is Truly Indeed Enriching To Say The Very Least.
There Is So Much More To This Book That Not Only Makes Engrossing Reading But Is Almost A Wake-Up Call To See The Writing On The Wall And Smell The Coffee As Tomorrow Could Be Too Late.
The Book Is Spread Across 14 Chapters Each One That Is Thought Provoking & Soul Stirring As It Is Bound To Show You The Mirror To Re-evaluate Personal Choices And How They Can Shape The Quality Of Life You Choose To Live.
Right From Lesson 1 ‘Never Sit When You Can Dance Down To Lesson 14 That Is Most Aptly ‘The Final Lesson’ This Is One Read That Does Not Finish With A Single Reading But Keeps Drawing You Back To It A Para Here Or A Quote There Of A Chapter To Disperse The Clouds Of Doubt.
Jo Giese Writes Straight From Her Heart And When It’s Her Mother She Writes About She Isn’t Writing About Just Her Own Mother Alone But Offering Priceless Insights That The Reader Can Connect With As Gushing Fond Memories Come Flooding Back In Torrents.

[Claire Fullerton · Rating 5 out of 5]

Who among us hasn’t said, “I could write a book about my mother!” We often say such things in jest, though the quip’s foundation is actually complimentary. We study our mothers throughout most of our lives trying to piece together the enigmatic variables that result in their particular formula. For many, it takes a lifetime, yet author Jo Giese has done just this in her delightful book, Never Sit If You Can Dance, which, as you might suspect, is a line she learned from her mother.
It is baby-boomer times, simpler times that began in innocence only to explode into the roar of changing times, and author Jo Giese is raised by a stay-at-home mom named Babe. She plans to rise above her mother’s station and believes she has actually done so until later years give her the time to pause and reflect.
It is the little things in this collection of first-person stories that weave nostalgia so touchingly and seamlessly. It is the commonplace, the every day, the mortar of life that matters, and author Jo Giese tells us why in a series of chapter heading, numbered lessons as demonstrated by her mother—“Don’t be Drab;” “Never Show Up Empty-Handed;” “Go While You Can;” and “The Happiness of Giving and Receiving Flowers” are cases in point.
A wonderfully written, quick paced gem of a book, Never Sit If You Can Dance strikes the middle ground between heartwarming and entertaining. It is an important book in that it gifts the reader with the opportunity to ponder their own mother. In the hands of any book club, there is much fodder to discuss.

[Manisha · Rating 4 out of 5]

“But I’m still curious”. This line at age 97 from Babe, the author’s mother, probably sums up her entire attitude and zest for life. This book is a tribute to an indefatigable mom from a daughter who over time has realised all those little things that went into making her mother an incredible person.

In another place, Jo says – “Having grown into being Babe’s daughter, I adopted a personal mantra: In spite of what’s happening, it’s okay to be happy today…..People don’t like to be around depressed people.” There are a number of such light bulb moments throughout. By themselves they sound clichéd and corny. When put into context of Babe’s life, these have much more life and depth.

It’s only when we get older that we truly appreciate the trials and tribulations of our parents as they raised us. It’s a lot of credit to Jo who saw how her mother evolve from being depressed to a die hard optimist. Most of the times we cannot see our parents for the individuals they are, only for the roles they have played for us. While reading this, I was reminded so many times of my own parents and the life lessons they have passed on to me and my siblings.

I think this is a great book club read. There is so much to talk about and to ponder on that it can make great discussions. I enjoyed the journey in this book – joyous and hopeful.

Note : I got this book as an ARC from Booksirens.

[Marian · Rating 4 out of 5]

I like what Jo Giese has done with this memoir of her mother, Babe. Giese has given us snippets of her late mother in the form of lessons (13 in total) that Babe (simply by living her life) has instilled in others.

The lessons aren't complex -- "thank you notes are never too plentiful" or "make the best of it," but it seems in today's world a lot of these niceties are forgotten. Jo Giese's remembrance of her mother will give a kick start for many of us to getting back (if we've strayed) on that civility path.

One lesson that really stuck with me was the importance of waving good-bye to guests as their car pulls away. Who wants to leave a home and just see a closed door? I know that has happened to me on a number of occasions, and it has never felt good. Babe's advice on never closing the door on your guests is a good one and one I won't forget.

While I enjoyed the book, I found the stories a little disjointed at times, which tended to distract me from what lesson was being conveyed. And while I can overlook a typo or two, Babe's timeline at the end of the book had a doozy --

May 23, 2014 -- Babe enrolled in hospice at the Hampton

but, on

May 9, 2014 -- At almost 98, Babe died at the Hampton

Someone at the proofing stage was asleep at the wheel on that one. Overall, a sweet remembrance of a woman I would have enjoyed knowing.

* I received an advance review copy for free, and I am leaving this review voluntarily.

[Kriti | Armed with A Book · Rating 5 out of 5]

One of the reasons I read is to learn from other's experiences. Never sit if you can dance: Lessons from my mother spoke volumes to me without even picking it up. Full of a lifetime of wisdom, feelings from childhood and keeping a connection with one's parent as she grows old - Jo's story about the things she learned from her mom, Babe, was elegant and beautiful.

This is not a long read but I would recommend taking your time reading it and letting Jo's experience with Babe let you reflect on your relationship with your daughter/mom. I thought about my mom throughout this book and noted multiple instances where Jo's experiences matched mine. It did not matter that I grew up in the 90s - many elements of the mother-daughter relationship stayed the same.

Babe is a lovely character and I loved her spirit. As Jo says in the introduction:

Taken together, these lessons show there's a celebratory life waiting for each of us - if we embrace it.

I could not agree more and this is a take-away I will remember along with the other lessons that were shared.

I am thankful to the author, the publisher and BookSirens for making the complimentary copy of the book available to me in exchange for an honest review. This is a book I will go back to in coming years. Thank you, Jo! :)

[Mary · Rating 4 out of 5]

How refreshing it is to pick up a family memoir and learn that the author understands the person her mother really was. Babe, as mom liked to be called, is shown as a fleshed-out person and not as the stereotype mother of her era. Babe liked to dance and sew. She believed in always taking a hostess gift when visiting someone’s house and in staying outside to wave as houseguests departed her home. These are all lessons that worked their way into Jo Giese’s heart without her realizing it at the time. Some of these are what many of us today still consider to be common courtesy…social customs that we also learned from our mothers.

The author doesn’t just throw these lessons at you. Instead you have the opportunity to smile as you read about incidents showing how Babe implemented them on a regular basis. Older readers may recognize some of these traits in themselves.

This is not an in-depth biography you might expect if you were reading about a celebrity, but it is very much a sweet story worth the time it should take you to read it. Perhaps you will recognize yourself or someone you know. Oh, if someone perchance gave you the book as a gift, don’t forget to promptly send a hand-written Thank You note!

I received my copy from BookSirens.com with no promise of a positive review. All opinions expressed are my own.

[Travelisfers · Rating 5 out of 5]

I just shut Jo Giese's book, "Never Sit if you Can Dance," with a small tear in my eye. Joyful, uplifting, funny and sweet, Jo celebrates her mother's life (her mom's name awas Babe!), and hers, through the small (but mighty) truisms, she used throughout her life.

Never sit if you can dance - I can hear my own mother, and grandmother, saying the same things. It is advice like that, and the stories that are shared behind the advice, that make this book a companion, one to go back to when you need to be uplifted, calmed, supported and validated. It's bright yellow cover (with the red dress - yes - the story is in the book!) is a fast and enjoyable read and compact enough to slip into your bag and to always keep by your bedside.

I don't want to give much away - you need to read this to be delighted for the first time by its wisdom. You will nod your head and perhaps think of your own stories and remember the advice your own moms, grandmas, aunts (anyone!) gave you.

That is the true gift of Jo's book.

Read it for Mother's Day - give it as a gift on Mother's Day - or anyday.

You will be glad you did!

[Jamie Cha · Rating 4 out of 5]

I give this 4.5 stars. I received an advanced review copy for free, and am leaving this review voluntarily. I usually like memoirs and this one did not disappoint. It was part self help ( in a fun way), along with mainly fun stories of Babe ( mom) and the author.

I loved how Jo told fun stories about her mom. The chapters were easy to read, short, and entertaining. I finished the book in less than a day( I can't remember the last time that happened).

Even though the ending was fairly predictable, I ended up tearing up. I felt like I knew Babe. Even wanted to be more like her ( even stopped to send a thank you email, while reading the book, because of her inspiration).

The book is a light and a fun read. It is a perfect read , if you want to be better or just trying to accept yourself. The positive aspect about aging in inspiring.

I can't wait to read the next book by Jo Giese. Thank you for allowing me to get to know your mom better. I know she is dancing above at the beautiful tribute to her.

[Jerri · Rating 4 out of 5]

A book about the mother/daughter relationship? Absolutely, especially this one. Reading these memories and life lessons made me think of my own childhood and my relationship with my mother. This book really hit a cord with the walking your guests at to their cars to say goodbye. My family always did this and I didn't realize how important it was until other family members didn't do it. The author so aptly described this as a feeling of loneliness. The author learned so many things from her mother but not all by example. Jo learned created her own mantra by Never Leaving a Compliment Unsaid. Jo learned how wonderful compliments were to receive and tried to help others capture this feeling by spreading compliments to those near her. Please read Never Sit If You Can Dance. It was a pleasure and wonderful insight into why we do some of the things we do. I received an advance review copy for free, and I am leaving this review voluntarily.