Now Accepting Roses: Finding Myself While Searching for the One . . . and Other Lessons I Learned from The Bachelor

by Amanda Stanton

When Amanda found out her mother had sent in an application to ABC's The Bachelor on her behalf, she wasn't upset . . . but she was hesitant.

As a divorced single mom on a long dating hiatus, she didn't think there was any way she could measure up against the competitors. In the back of her mind, her ex's hurtful message reared its ugly "You can't divorce me. You'll be 25 and divorced with two kids. No one will want you." The thought of starting over and putting herself out there was frightening.

But despite the self-doubt, Amanda made it onto Season 20. What nobody knew at the time was that her on-camera date with Ben was her first in almost three years. Talk about pressure!

Ever since she made it to the final four on The Bachelor and ended up engaged on Bachelor in Paradise , media outlets and millions of fans, eager to learn Amanda's story, have tried to track her down. What's he really like? What's the scoop on her? Was she telling the truth about him?

Part-memoir, part girl's guide, Now Accepting Roses is full of never-before-told stories from behind the scenes of one of America's most popular television shows—but this book isn't just for fans of The Bachelor . This book is for anyone navigating the crazy and exciting world of finding real love. Amanda also reveals the valuable lessons for life and relationships that she learned after the world watched her look for love on television— three times . Everything she now knows about dating, she learned from being on The Bachelor . Amanda's unique experiences have left her with some hard-earned wisdom to share, including her own "rules" for dating and how to truly find yourself, as she has. Thanks to juggling dating, parenting, and life, she better understands the way dating works and shares how you can find love while prioritizing your own needs.

Amanda's friendly, heartfelt guidance will feel like a good friend offering her most personal advice on life, love, and self-care—and her wild stories will rival the juiciest gossip you've ever heard.

If you're looking for a love like you've seen on the silver-screen, that doesn't exist. The good news is that the real thing is so much better. Amanda is more confident than ever in her search for love, and she hopes that sharing her stories and insights will help you find it, too.

Genres: Nonfiction, Memoir, Biography, Audiobook, Biography Memoir

224 pages, Hardcover

Published September 3, 2019

Reviews

[Amy · Rating 1 out of 5]

Truly disappointed. I’ve waited for this book to come out and listened to multiple podcast of Amanda talking about her book. While reading it, I felt as though she was becoming the bully. She brought down women from the franchise, brought down her ex husband (even if he deserves it, he doesn’t have his side to tell) and brought down every ex and even his mom! I was a huge fan of her until reading this. She talks about all the traveling she gets to do but doesn’t really admit it’s from the show. She is giving advice about dating which doesn’t make sense. It almost seems like a book put together in a few days to make money. I just stopped reading it toward the end because I felt this is just wasting my time, there is no positive to this.
We need to be empowering people around us especially having that platform she gained, instead she decided to bring down anyone and show off her lifestyle. Very disappointed. Andi Dorfmans book has more to offer and life lessons. Super disappointed.

[Alicia · Rating 1 out of 5]

Ugh. I really have liked Amanda on the bachelor franchise and despite her clear ineptitude at picking men (the plethora of chapters devoted to her exes in this book really illustrates this) and tumultuous relationships I've always been rooting for her. However, I just cannot root for this book. It was bad. I mean really, really bad.

I think the worst thing for me is that she comes off as a vindictive ex-girfriend/wife and also as a little bit of a mean girl. Do I think this was her intention? No. I really don't. I think she was trying to share her story and because it has been so public she figured, why not put the names of people I've dated or girls I haven't gotten along with in here. Did it come off that way? No. It came off as catty, hateful and a little bit forced. She takes so many little jabs at other women in the franchise calling them things like "desperate", "crazy", etc. Like really girl, you were on the show 3 times and failed all three times, why do you think its ok for you to talk about how desperate everyone else looks. And this is coming from someone who has liked you throughout the series....your whole way of talking about other women made me sick to my stomach. There were SO many more tactful ways to discuss the past relationships that hadn't worked out (even the really, really bad ones) and the other people from the show that would have made her sound so much more mature and positive.

I also really hated the little aside chapters about how to pack a suitcase and how to get lash extensions and a spray tan before vacation. It just makes her seem so full of herself and petty. Yes, she does those things...do we all know she does? Yes, we do. Do we really want to hear that you 'CANNOT POSSIBLY GO ON VACATION IF YOU DON'T GET A SUGAR OR WAX?' No...no one really wants to hear that. I can tell you I've been on plenty of beach vacations without doing any of those things to "prep myself" and I still had a great time and I think I looked pretty good.

I legit cringed at the final letter to her daughters. Sadly, this book is just not nice. Not even because its poorly written, but because she's not a nice person in it and she bashes their dad many, many times (even though they get along and according to her successfully co-parent now)......then she writes the lovely letter to her girls and it feels icky to me. I think she needed to separate out her life into three separate things. Packing and beauty advice is for a blog, this book should have been about her experience with men and the bachelor franchise in a much more tactful way. Then she should have considered a third happier, more appropriate book about being a single mother, about raising girls, or something of that nature. That would have been an appropriate place to write a letter to her daughters and discuss things like traveling with two children. Those topics just didn't belong in this book.

Overall, it was not what I expected and certainly not what I wanted to read. If I hadn't gotten it free from Goodreads I probably would not have finished it, but here we are. I'm left with a bad taste in my mouth from all of the negativity this book spews.

[Kim Bakos · Rating 2 out of 5]

A very shallow book with no real purpose - for example, the chapter on vacation advice is to be sure to get your eyelash extensions and hair extensions before you go so you look your best in poolside pics! Give me a break. I've never had either of those and I'm sure most people don't, either.
My daughter is a fan of "The Bachelor" series, so I thought I might give her this book, but since I'd like her to be someone with a greater depth of character than the author, this is one I'll be putting in the Little Free Library instead of passing on to any friends or family.

[Kelly · Rating 5 out of 5]

I love everything Bachelor and have always been a fan of Amanda so I really enjoyed reading this. Although I am disappointed that she gave no explanation to her break up with Bobby. I was looking forward to reading about him and their relationship the most!

[Hubert · Rating 3 out of 5]

An earnest memoir of a recent Bachelor Nation star. Stanton relates how she ended up on the show, how her first stint in Bachelor in Paradise landed her a toxic relationship with Josh (winner of Andi's season), and how through thick and thin she manages to maintain a beautiful, loving relationship with the most important persons in her life, her two daughters.

Stanton (and her co-author Allie Kingsley Baker) write in a plain, unrefined tone - this is by no means great literature, but her earnestness is much appreciated. The emphases on quality friendships that will get you through the down times, and on how to manage social media in the age of Instagram, are much appreciated.

[Annie · Rating 2 out of 5]

I got this book in a Goodreads Giveaway and was really interested to read it. I saw Ben’s season and watched her seasons on BIP. I thought it was going to be about her time on the Bachelor and with Josh but I thought it went a little over the top with talking about his mom and some of the other girls on her season. I skipped some parts of the book including the vacation tips. I’m not a high maintenance girl so reading about trying to pack 3 curling irons and several outfit changes for a few days vacation was a bit much. I also don’t go get eyelash or hair extensions before I go on vacation because that’s not what my true self is. I’ll be putting it in a Little Free Library.

[Deidre · Rating 2 out of 5]

Easy read but nothing that we didn’t already from social media.

[Jacki · Rating 3 out of 5]

Always interesting listening to what the day about the shows. Appreciated her honesty

[Pamela Stroebel Powers · Rating 2 out of 5]

I typically love reading memoirs from my guilty pleasure show The Bachelor, but I have never been a huge Amanda Stanton fan and this book just reminded me why. I'm sure she's a lovely person so this isn't personal but this book was empty... the Josh Murray story was already told by Andi Dorfman, I didn't need to hear it again. She brags in the book about how during her breakups she didn't drag them through the media... but she wrote a book about them! She talks about her great co-parenting but the first chapters are explicit details of how bad he was to her... um, your girls will read that someday! I thought it was boring, empty, contradictory, repetitive and honestly highlighted the shallow parts of her life as an influencer. I did enjoy the packing tips!

[Mary · Rating 1 out of 5]

Love Amanda. But her book would be better described as an in depth interview combined with a how to guide for influencers. Which is fine but not what I expected.

[kayleigh · Rating 2 out of 5]

2.5 stars.

I read Now Accepting Roses: Finding Myself While Searching for the One ... and Other Lessons I Learned from “The Bachelor” in September of 2019, so I’m not going to review. I’m just adding books to my read shelf that never made it there when I first read them (thanks, child Kayleigh, for deciding to keep a list of all the books you’ve read, their dates, and their rating since early 2007).

[Nicki Hinkle · Rating 2 out of 5]

I won this book as a giveaway, here on Goodreads. I have never watched The Bachelor, or any of the other spin offs, but I love memoirs, fashion and positive outlooks on life.
This book had a bit of everything. It didn't really follow a linear path or timeline, but it was a fun read.
Amanda has curated her brand by curating her life and lifestyle choices. You can see from the chapters when she talks about being on the show that she was young and that is the type of casting that production wants. You want to make their worlds so small that they feel like they need to "move forward" with relationships they may not even want to explore for the sake of good TV.
I can tell that Amanda has lived her life in the "public eye" for a long time. You can tell that she is honestly concerned what is posted about or promoted in her social media feeds and that she is literally making her living off of sponsorship and brand recognition. Those chapters were helpful for those who wish to curate a brand, or pack for a TV dating show, but they don't apply to "real life."
Most of us aren't worried about how much to ask for when we're posting a supportive photo of a coffee from our local coffee house. Most of us don't need to know how to pack 2 suitcases with enough outfits to last 60 days of filming.
So, although this book was fun, it's probably best left for those who wish to "be Amanda" or those who wish to read more about The Bachelor shenanigans.

[Theresa Smith · Rating 1 out of 5]

Thank you, Goodreads, for the giveaway copy! I am not familiar with the author at all but thought this book might be one to share with young women. It's a quick read with very large print and very little depth. The author alternated between telling pieces of her story and offering beauty, travel and parenting tips. More of her story might have helped me to understand her perspective better. Even with more background, I doubt many single moms or young women could relate to her. Her attitude seemed to imply that this much exotic travel is normal for families and that most young moms have the funds to get all the beauty work she recommends (it was quite a list). At one point, she writes about moving a man into her home with 2 young daughters - dangerous and wrong. She does admit that was not right but still focused heavy on dating. Her message of being a good, strong female seemed to be contracted by her own actions. I do not recommend this book.

[Lyndsey thelittlereadingmermaid · Rating 3 out of 5]

Let me just start this off by saying I LOVE the Bachelor franchise, okay? Like, I really love it. Amanda Stanton has been one of my favorite contestants for many reasons, one of them being she just seems so REAL. I love that she lays it all out there on social media and interacts with her fans. She seems like a wonderful mom to Char and Kins and she could probably make a paper bag look like a red carpet ball gown. I just love her.
I was expecting.. more from this book. I really did enjoy it, but I wish it had been more focused on her life and the ins and outs of the Bachelor franchise. I could have done without all the growing your social media tips and tidbits, those parts weren’t for me, and it was quite a bit of the book.
I still love Amanda, but this book just wasn’t what I had hoped it would be.

[Natalia · Rating 1 out of 5]

What a colossal snooze. The book is short, and has nothing interesting to say.

I got the book from a Goodreads giveaway, and had signed up for it thinking it would be a kind of dishy behind-the-scenes memoir of her experience as a contestant on the Bachelor. (I don't watch the show, I just want to see how the sausage gets made!) Instead, it was a collection of platitudes about dating, travel, and social media. In big type, and with no new insights. There are tens of thousands of blog posts on the internet about this stuff. Who cares if she gets her eyelash extensions refreshed before she goes on vacation and if rompers were convenient to wear on Bachelor in Paradise?

Who decided this should be a book?

[Clare · Rating 3 out of 5]

2.5 stars; this book doesn’t have a ton of substance to it, but also, I don’t think that’s the point. I appreciated hearing more about Amanda’s relationships, and her learning to stop settling for toxic relationships. While the insights in this book are nothing new, it’s important to acknowledge that while concepts like loving yourself and refusing to settle are in some ways trite, they’re also revolutionary when we are able to truly live them out. Therefore, I don’t fault Amanda for emphasizing those lessons one bit. Shamelessly bumping my rating up because, what can I say, I like Amanda ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

[Alex · Rating 2 out of 5]

I’m definitely embarrassed that I read this, but I just couldn’t help myself.

I’m a sporadic watcher of the Bachelor, but I did happen to see Ben’s season where Amanda first appeared, and then both of her Bachelor in Paradise runs. She really came across as vapid and shallow, and after reading this I’m still left with that impression of her.

There was some fun Bachelor gossip in here (and seriously, Josh Murray sucks) but overall the book was as superficial as Amanda seems to be. Oh, well - at least it was a super quick read!

[Charlotte Brackett · Rating 3 out of 5]

I was so excited for this book. I've always been fascinated about what really happens on the show and I had high hopes about finding out about the ins and outs of being on the show and what filming is really like. And, after all was said and done, I learned very little. With a title like this, I expected most of the book to be about the show and I was disappointed to find that, though the word 'bachelor' or 'bachelor nation' was thrown in there a lot, the show was more of an afterthought. It's an easy read. But it's not for fans of the show hoping to learn some secrets.

[Kate Kaput · Rating 4 out of 5]

What's a guilty pleasure if you don't indulge it?! As Bachelor books go, though, this was a particularly frivolous but surprisingly enjoyable one, equal parts about the author's TV life & her tips on travel, dating, being a fashion "influencer," & parenting as a single mom. I've always liked Amanda, despite her occasional bimbo edit, & reading this book made me like her more. I also appreciate that she's openly talked about & thanked her ghost-writer. Not many celebs do!

[Ashlee · Rating 3 out of 5]

Lately I’ve been a sucker for a good memoir. This one was okay. I’ve watched my fair share The Bachelor, The Bachelorette, and Bachelor in Paradise over the years trust me. Pure curiosity made me want to read Amanda’s book. I actually liked it a little better than Andi’s to be honest.

[Susannah Leong Doukas · Rating 3 out of 5]

Enjoyed hearing about Amanda and the Bachelor Nation’s dating woes and the ins and outs of the show(s) from her perspective, but was hoping to get a little more dirt and detail. I felt like she played it on the safer side about her exes and the Vegas mishap and kept things pretty surface level. Fun and easy read but wasn’t as good as I hoped.

[Jaclyn · Rating 3 out of 5]

I've never seen an episode of The Bachelor (or any others in the franchise), but did enjoy Stanton's book and the insights she has learned about love both on and off the show. I'm sure for avid fans of The Bachelor, they would enjoy this book more!

*I received a free copy in exchange for an honest review.*

[Hannah Baker · Rating 4 out of 5]

I won this book in a giveaway and I was so excited to read it! For a fan of the bachelor, the beginning is amazing. It goes into the inner workings of the show and I really enjoyed that. Definitely don’t start reading this thinking it’s a piece of literature. In my opinion, it’s more of a blog than a book, but it’s a fun read!

[Kim Goran · Rating 1 out of 5]

I struggled very hard getting past the entitlement this book was oozing. Many times it read as a manual of how to be on the bachelor franchise - right down to how to pack for it. The most interesting part of the book was where she told dating stories belonging to other people. My advice would be to skip this book unless you want to be on the show.

[Mel · Rating 5 out of 5]

I loved it. She wrote about Bachelor and Bachelor in Paradise in a very respectful way. Everyone should read it because it's a good lesson in how women should be treated and how women should expect to be treated. It's tone is positive and easy to read.

[Rachel | All the RAD Reads · Rating 1 out of 5]

If you, like me, can’t quit Bachelor Nation, you might be tempted to read this one. Let me tell you, unless you like reading a woman bash all her exes mercilessly and share some packing tips and some other fluff about her influencer life, it’s not worth it. That’s all.

[Kathryn · Rating 4 out of 5]

I wasn’t a huge fan of her on the show but I did enjoy the book! There was a lot of mixed reviews but I believe to an extent her life is relatable and it’s nice to have background on the behind the scenes of the bachelor!

[M. · Rating 5 out of 5]

It was a good read.

[Jennifer · Rating 3 out of 5]

I was a fan of Amanda on The Bachelor and enjoyed reading the book.

[Alexis Cooper · Rating 3 out of 5]

I was excited to read this. It wasn't anything outstanding, but I quite liked it.