The Tao of Ordinariness: Humility and Simplicity in a Narcissistic Age

by Robert J. Wicks

This book is an invitation to come home to your authentic self in a world that is frequently mesmerized by "spin," narcissism, fantasy, and exhibitionism. Psychology and classic wisdom literature have, in various ways, long recognized the value for simply becoming who you are (i.e., ordinariness). However, this call is becoming increasingly drowned out by the many other voices that emphasize publicity and image-making over authenticity and humility. Renowned therapist and author Robert Wicks has written The Tao of Ordinariness as a way of beginning to address these tendencies in contemporary society.

In this new countercultural work, the strength and joy of exploring who you are - and proceeding to share yourself with others in a way that they too can reclaim themselves - is revisited from a range of vantage points. The author specifically reexamines themes of humility, simplicity, letting go, self-awareness, "alonetime," resilience, and mentoring. In an era when people increasingly measure self-worth by external measures, such as the number of likes and views and followers on social media feeds (which have many individuals chasing impossible fantasies and living with a constant fear of "missing out"), Wicks offers a return to your authentic self.

Genres: Philosophy, Nonfiction

240 pages, Hardcover

Published October 1, 2019

About the author

There is more than one author with this name. See also: Robert Wicks & Robert Wicks.

Robert J. Wicks (born August 2, 1946 in Queens, New York) is a clinical psychologist and writer about the intersection of spirituality and psychology. Wicks is a well known speaker, therapist, and spiritual guide who has taught at universities and professional schools of psychology, medicine, nursing, theology, and social work for more than thirty years. He a Professor Emeritus at Loyola University Maryland

Reviews

[Preeti · Rating 4 out of 5]

Thank you for a chance to read this book which I won through a goodreads giveaway.

[Steve Wiggins · Rating 4 out of 5]

I heard about this book just after it came out. As my blog post on it (Sects and Violence in the Ancient World) indicates, my idea of the “ordinariness” was that of everyday life. I thought it might be about finding the acceptance, the Tao, in that. Robert J. Wicks is a psychologist, and he has written on having a healthy outlook for many years. Like most people, I want a healthy outlook.

In an era dominated by Trump (he maintained headlines like no other past president) books on how to survive in a Narcissistic Age are unfortunately necessary. Wicks begins by attempting to describe how to be humble. Humility is one of those very slippery traits that you can’t say you have without betraying that you don’t really have it at all. We just know humble people when we encounter them. We wish it were more often.

I found chapter four the best in the book. Here Wicks writes about those for whom life has made self-esteem difficult (a group that often overlaps with the humble). Circumstances, particularly in childhood, leave many people damaged for their entire lives. Humility, which they likely already have, is something they need not strive for since they already possess it in abundance. They might find some of Wicks’ other books helpful, however. I’m intrigued enough to read more.

[Deborah Makarios · Rating 2 out of 5]

Ironically, for a book about ordinariness and simplicity, the language used is neither simple nor ordinary.

A sample sentence: "In addition, it is important for us to recognize that all of us have unproductive characterological styles which, while perhaps not as extreme as the case just presented, can be just as hidden and quietly destructive to our recognizing our own narrative in ways that make it difficult to not only find our way in life but also share it with others in a way that enables them to find and embrace their generative own ordinary selves." (p.75-6)

Does the author imagine that only academics need to read about humility and simplicity? Because this book is not very accessible to anyone else.

[Rory R · Rating 2 out of 5]

This was not what I was expecting. Loads of normative judgements laden in the psychotherapist lens the author has. I enjoyed some of the selected passages however the worldview of the text was uncomfortable for me. There was loads of assumptions around ideas of the disordered psyche in many of the examples from authors practice. Interesting there was one section where he reflects on feedback about respecting people's capacity to manage adverse experiences independently or outside of therapeutic sessions, I wish he extended that learning to the tone of the rest of the book.

[John Dean · Rating 4 out of 5]

Great little read, that touched a lot of different topics. The book is filled with lots of quotes from other authors and their books which at times can be a little challenging always have a lot of different authors in the same book. “ Sooner or later life teaches you that you are not the center of the universe, nor quite as talented or as good as you thought. It teaches you to care less about what others think and to be less self conscious. To get our of your own way.”

[Paul Vogelzang]

I was provided an ARC of this book. I enjoyed the book and particularly enjoyed the discussion of humility, simplicity, and courage to achieving inner peace. I do love to read and enjoy reading, but this book slowed me down to the point of actually considering its meaning and ramifications to me and my life. I thoroughly recommend.

[Amy · Rating 2 out of 5]

If you are looking for a collection of previously published ideas and others’ quotes on simplicity and spiritual thought and psychology, this is super. But I could not get past the constant “As xxx said, …” throughout. I was hoping for a different take on ordinary living and its related psychology, but this wasn’t it for me.

[Jeff Eddings · Rating 3 out of 5]

3.5 stars

[Jeffrey Fisher · Rating 4 out of 5]

Really wanted to get more from this. Didn't. But more a reflection of me and my moods and needs than this book's failure. Might be quite useful to many.