The Successful Child: What Parents Can Do to Help Kids Turn Out Well

by Martha Sears, Martha Sears, Elizabeth Pantley (Contributor)

In this book, the Searses bring the reason and common sense of their philosophy of parenting to the hurdles of raising the older child.

Attachment parenting is not just for babies; as children grow, they need to expand the web of their secure attachments to friends, teachers, community and the wider world. As there is no single plan for any one family, the Searses show a range of ways a parent can retain a child's trust and wield a positive influence as their child matures. By following the advice laid out in this book, parents can see that the bonds they have nurtured since infancy will provide the anchor that will ground their children through the challenging teen years to adulthood.

Genres: Parenting, Nonfiction, Family, Reference, Childrens, Health

288 pages, Paperback

First published January 1, 2002

About the author

Martha is the mother of eight children, a registered nurse, a former childbirth educator, a La Leche League leader, and a lactation consultant. Martha is the co-author of 25 parenting books and is a popular lecturer and media guest drawing on her eighteen years of breastfeeding experience with her eight children (including Stephen with Down Syndrome and Lauren, her adopted daughter). Martha speaks frequently at national parenting conferences and is noted for her advice on how to handle the most common problems facing today's mothers with their changing lifestyles. Martha is able to connect with both full-time mothers and mother who work full-time, because she herself has experienced both styles of parenting Martha takes great pride in referring to herself as a "professional mother" and one of her favorite quips when someone voices their concern about her having eight children in an already populated world is: "The world needs my children."

Reviews

[Jamie Hornych]

If you've read one Dr. Sears book, you've read half of them all. That's not a criticism but a statement of fact, and probably a good thing because you might pick up a book about nutrition and learn all about the benefits attachment parenting, so it helps spread the message, etc. I had a couple issues with this book, though, that prevented me from loving it as much as most of the other Sears books.

1. Some focus on a rewards system that I do not personally believe in.

2. In the section on spirituality, the Christian in the Sears' comes out in full force. There is a whole lot of focus on the importance of a belief in God. While I agree that spirituality can be important, can't we just believe in the power of the universe and nature? This whole "God" thing is just malarkey. I wish they would've taken a more generalized approach to spirituality.

I did like how they defined success and a lot of the information in the book was valuable, as long as you can throw out the garbage about God and stickers.

[Rachel]

I'm reading this as a refresher course in prep for my third baby. It's just as good as any Dr. Sears book and exceeding my expectations still.

Dr. Sears uses research and experience to make the point that children who are listened to, responded to appropriately, and given the power to make their own decisions with proper limits from the very beginning become truly successful, self-reliant, and interdependent on the world and people around them. How do we achieve this with our children... by stopping the whole idea of scheduling our children, getting them involved in chores from the moment they chow interest rather than putting them in front of the tv while we do all the housework, by listening to them and following their cues, by taking little children out of the car seat and holding them. There are so many things that Americans do to their children rather than for or with their children in infancy that make a lasting impression on the souls and attitudes of these babies.

[DivaDiane SM]

I actually didn't finish this. I read 3/4 though and had the impression I'd read enough. Lots of repetition and after a while you get it.

[Douglas Lord]

Consistent with the Searses’ popular prior works (e.g., The Family Nutrition Book: Everything You Need to Know about Feeding Your Children from Birth Through Adolescence), The Successful Child is warm and loving. It extends the authors’ well-known “attachment parenting” philosophy and offers simple advice to help children succeed “in the things that matter most–relationships, values, human interdependence.” To foster responsibility, for example, they suggest “catch[ing] children in the act of doing good.” The calm, helpful tone will both comfort and challenge readers. Chapters are easily digestible, and numerous boxed insets focus attention on the topic. This general work will find a ready and appreciative audience everywhere.

Find reviews of books for men at Books for Dudes, Books for Dudes, the online reader's advisory column for men from Library Journal. Copyright Library Journal.

[Turkana Allahverdiyeva]

Etiraf edim ki, qalin bir kitab olmagina baxmayaraq coxlu tekrara yer verilib. Bezen 500 sehifede dediklerimizi 100 sehifede deye bilerik. Bu kitab onlardandir. Umumiyyetle kitabi bir nece cumle ile ifade etmek olar. Umumi megzi, ushaqlarimizla daim iletishim icinde olmali, onlarla duzgun unsiyyet yolunu secmeli, daim onlarla sohbet etmeliyik. Bu gelecekde ushaqin ozunu duzgun ifade etmesinde ve insanlarla duzgun unsiyyet qurmasinda esas amildir. Duzgun unsiyyet qurmaq ise her bir insani ugura apara bilecek bir faktordur. Valideynlere eger oxumaq maraqlidirsa, bu kitabi tovsiyye etmirem. Daha faydali kitablar oxuya bilersiniz.

[Lara Miller]

There's a lot of good advice for attachment parenting in the baby and toddler years, but not as many ideas for teenagers as I was hoping for.

[polly]

Given that I have an infant, I really just skimmed this book. it is very commonsensical for those of us who were raised with involved, interested, psychologically balanced and kind parents. but there are also neat ideas (I liked the bits, applicable to me right now, on playing with babies). I will probably buy this in the future as a good reference as my son gets older. Also good: 'success' is defined in terms of relationships, not 'stuff' or career achievement, etc.

[AngiJo]

Dr. Sears' parenting approaches make so much sense. Many of his recommendations go against the old school approach to parenting (do as I say because I said so, and I'm the parent), I can see how thoughtful use of these techniques could lead to compassionate, respectful, children that have a sense of self worth. I wish he would have given more concrete examples; still, I recommend this book for all parents, no matter how experienced you are.

[Danielle]

Yeah, I really just skimmed this, but overall I found it a little silly. I mean, I'm all for loving your kid, and teaching with kindness and respect, but rather than the "the successful child" I would think this parenting style would turn out "the emotionally dependent child." Someone who can't function in society without their parent hovering nearby. I guess I would favor fostering a little more independence in my children.

[Lucinda]

I learned some good ways to test my parenting in this book. I read it when my first was a baby, and have often thought of it when in the midst of parenting trials. One important thing I learned was to let your child(ren) help. Give them tasks. At the grocery store, let them know what they can touch, and ask them to do simple things, like get the yellow box and put it in the cart, load the check-out conveyor, etc. Life takes longer when you let them help, but they will be happier.

[Danielle]

Another "theory" book from Dr. Sears. It was a good review of things I learned in my child development classes, but lacked very many "practical" tips. I agree with a lot of his philosophy, but am still looking for him to write a book with as many helpful "how-tos" as contained in his Baby book.

[Ryan]

This is an interesting book, with some good ideas. I definitely feel like it misses some aspects of modern life though, and reflects the aging (though brilliant) Dr. Sears's generation more than mine.
That said, some of the chapters are great, and overall it emphasizes some important points that parents can forget about.

[Alley]

It's amazing to me that Dr. Sears was raised without a father and yet has become one of America's parenting experts. I love his insightful, loving guide to raising an emotionally, spiritually, intellectually and physically healthy child. His approach is always based on a deep respect for children.

[Elyse]

If you've read Dr. Sears or Elizabeth Pantley before, the attachment parenting concept won't be a surprise and this may not hold anything new for you. But like most of their books, this has almost tangible tools to increase trust and respect between children and their parents, which they believe ultimately leads to a child's "success". I thought it was a nice refresher on well-worn topics.

[Stephanie]

Love all the Sears books for parenting!

[Amber]

Great follow up to attachment parenting.

[sleeps9hours]

Always love William and Martha Sears

[Sarah]

Another excellent attachment parenting guide filled with intuitive and helpful suggestions to raise happy, trusting and caring children.

[Inder]

I keep thinking I am getting tired of Dr. Sears, but then I try to read other books on parenting and quickly change my mind.

[Nathalie]

Continuing my love affair with the Sears family...this will be something to read when the babe comes along.

[Susan]

Great reference book.

[Jennifer]

So far it's the same old... breastfeeding and baby wearing... can they really spin out another book on just these topics?

[Shannon]

Lots of valuable tips but I'll definitely need to read it more than once!

[Helen]

This was a really great parenting book that I am sure I will continue to use as a reference as my parenting journey continues.

[Christa Pettis]

LOVE! The Sears offers the best alternatives to anti-Dobson Christian parents. Highly recommend.

[Ronan Anthony O'Reilly]

Martha and William Sears are wonderful advocates of attachment parenting methodologies that do seem to help children succeed in various aspects of their lives.

[Heather]

I really enjoyed this book...as I did the few of Dr. Sears books I have read.