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Fifty Things That Aren't My Fault: Essays from the Grown-up Years
From the iconic creator of the "Cathy" comic strip comes a collection of funny, warm, and wise essays in the style of Nora Ephron and Erma Bombeck, centered around the particular challenge of caring for aging parents and growing children, all while trying not to lose oneself in the process.
As the creator of the "Cathy" comic strip, Cathy Guisewite found her way into the hearts of readers over 40 years ago, and has been there ever since. Her deeply funny and relatable look at the life of a frazzled career woman became a cultural touchstone for women everywhere, and now, in her debut essay collection, Guisewite returns with her signature self-deprecating wit and warmth, this time taking a look at her own life. The autobiographical essays that make up Fifty Things That Aren't My Fault offer a disarming, hilarious, and wise look at the lives of "the sandwich generation," which Guisewite calls "the panini generation."
In this collection, Guisewite turns her uniquely wry and funny gaze to her own day-to-day life, with topics ranging from the mundane--teaching her parents to use TiVo, organizing four decades of photos, attempting to meditate--to the more profound--her struggle to find a purpose post-retirement, helping her parents downsize their lives, and her personal definitions of feminism. Humorous, warm, and poignant, Fifty Things That Aren't My Fault is ideal reading for mothers, daughters, and everyone who is caught somewhere in between, and on the threshold of "What Happens Next."
As the creator of the "Cathy" comic strip, Cathy Guisewite found her way into the hearts of readers over 40 years ago, and has been there ever since. Her deeply funny and relatable look at the life of a frazzled career woman became a cultural touchstone for women everywhere, and now, in her debut essay collection, Guisewite returns with her signature self-deprecating wit and warmth, this time taking a look at her own life. The autobiographical essays that make up Fifty Things That Aren't My Fault offer a disarming, hilarious, and wise look at the lives of "the sandwich generation," which Guisewite calls "the panini generation."
In this collection, Guisewite turns her uniquely wry and funny gaze to her own day-to-day life, with topics ranging from the mundane--teaching her parents to use TiVo, organizing four decades of photos, attempting to meditate--to the more profound--her struggle to find a purpose post-retirement, helping her parents downsize their lives, and her personal definitions of feminism. Humorous, warm, and poignant, Fifty Things That Aren't My Fault is ideal reading for mothers, daughters, and everyone who is caught somewhere in between, and on the threshold of "What Happens Next."
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First published April 2, 2019
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About the author
Cathy Guisewite
108 books153 followersCathy Lee Guisewite is the cartoonist who created the comic strip Cathy in 1976. Her main cartoon character (Cathy) is a career woman faced with the issues and challenges of work, relationships, her mother and food, or as Guisewite herself put it in one of her strips, "The four basic guilt groups."
Guisewite was born in Dayton, Ohio and grew up in Midland, Michigan. She attended the University of Michigan at Ann Arbor where she was a member of the Delta Delta Delta sorority. Guisewite received her bachelor's degree in English in 1972. She also holds seven honorary degrees.
In 1993, Guisewite received the Reuben Award for Outstanding Cartoonist of the Year from the National Cartoonists Society. In 1987, she received an Emmy for Outstanding Animated Program for the TV special Cathy, which aired on CBS. Guisewite was a frequent guest in the latter years of the Tonight Show with Johnny Carson.
Guisewite and her husband Chris Wilkinson reside in Los Angeles. She has a daughter and a stepson.
Guisewite was born in Dayton, Ohio and grew up in Midland, Michigan. She attended the University of Michigan at Ann Arbor where she was a member of the Delta Delta Delta sorority. Guisewite received her bachelor's degree in English in 1972. She also holds seven honorary degrees.
In 1993, Guisewite received the Reuben Award for Outstanding Cartoonist of the Year from the National Cartoonists Society. In 1987, she received an Emmy for Outstanding Animated Program for the TV special Cathy, which aired on CBS. Guisewite was a frequent guest in the latter years of the Tonight Show with Johnny Carson.
Guisewite and her husband Chris Wilkinson reside in Los Angeles. She has a daughter and a stepson.
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April 22, 2021
همیشه کتابهایی که در حوزهی زنان و دنیای مربوط به زنان و دختران و دستو پنجه نرمکردنهای آنها با زندگی ( در هر زمینهای) نوشته میشه برام جالب بوده ؛ ولی حقیقتا این کتاب نتونست خیلی توجه من جلب کنه. کتاب نثر کاملا خودمانی داشت و سعی داشت حس صمیمیت و همدردی را با خواننده( به خصوص مخاطب زن) به اشتراک بگذاره؛ ولی خب خیلی معمولی بود.
January 4, 2020
“Fifty Things That Aren’t My Fault” is one of my favorite books so far this year and I’m confident it will be one of my best books for all of 2019. Cathy Guisewite’s essays about being in the sandwich (or panini generation as she aptly calls it) were poignant, endearing, heartwarming, and hilarious. I can’t remember the last time I actually laughed out loud while reading a book, but “Fifty Things” was truly that kind of funny. And there were tears too, tears of recognition and understanding.
“This is my whole life not fitting. My days are too short, my lists are too long. People aren’t where they’re supposed to be. Everything’s changing without my permission. Children are moving away, friends moving on, loved ones leaving the earth, muscles and skin tone not even pausing to wave farewell before deserting me—and after all I’ve done for them. Just when I think I can’t possibly stand one more goodbye, something or someone I thought would be here forever isn’t. Everyone I know is in some version of a great big life shift. Right in the middle of people and things that are changing and disappearing way too fast. An unrequested rearrangement of everything in our personal worlds—as if there isn’t enough that feels out of our control right now in the big world. It’s unsettling and unnerving. And scary. Impossible to be everything to everyone, to reconcile all that’s different, and to keep track of ourselves along that way.”
Whether she was writing about the challenges and humor in dieting and finding clothes that fit real bodies, trying to help her aging parents and her teenage daughter through the transitions they are going through, the new life that arises when retirement begins, or decluttering and organizing, it was as if she was writing specifically about my life. I was calling friends and family to quote sections of the book I particularly loved and which really resonated with me. Then I realized I was calling too many people too often, so I just bought them their own copies instead. (I’ve received some wonderful thank you notes!) “Fifty Things That Aren’t My Fault” is a book I’m highly recommending to everyone, especially to all those “paninis” out there.
“This is my whole life not fitting. My days are too short, my lists are too long. People aren’t where they’re supposed to be. Everything’s changing without my permission. Children are moving away, friends moving on, loved ones leaving the earth, muscles and skin tone not even pausing to wave farewell before deserting me—and after all I’ve done for them. Just when I think I can’t possibly stand one more goodbye, something or someone I thought would be here forever isn’t. Everyone I know is in some version of a great big life shift. Right in the middle of people and things that are changing and disappearing way too fast. An unrequested rearrangement of everything in our personal worlds—as if there isn’t enough that feels out of our control right now in the big world. It’s unsettling and unnerving. And scary. Impossible to be everything to everyone, to reconcile all that’s different, and to keep track of ourselves along that way.”
Whether she was writing about the challenges and humor in dieting and finding clothes that fit real bodies, trying to help her aging parents and her teenage daughter through the transitions they are going through, the new life that arises when retirement begins, or decluttering and organizing, it was as if she was writing specifically about my life. I was calling friends and family to quote sections of the book I particularly loved and which really resonated with me. Then I realized I was calling too many people too often, so I just bought them their own copies instead. (I’ve received some wonderful thank you notes!) “Fifty Things That Aren’t My Fault” is a book I’m highly recommending to everyone, especially to all those “paninis” out there.
November 14, 2021
“ هیچ لحظه مناسبی برای گرفتن تصمیمی که زندگی تان را تا ابد تغییر می دهد وجود ندارد “
+++
دوسش داشتم
واقعا یه دل نوشته بود
بدون اینکه بگه چی غلطه چی درسته
فقط قسمت پیری برام کسل کننده بود میخاستم زودتر رد شه
که احتمالا برای اونه که همچین برخوردی نداشتم با مسأله🤷🏼♀️
+++
دوسش داشتم
واقعا یه دل نوشته بود
بدون اینکه بگه چی غلطه چی درسته
فقط قسمت پیری برام کسل کننده بود میخاستم زودتر رد شه
که احتمالا برای اونه که همچین برخوردی نداشتم با مسأله🤷🏼♀️
February 8, 2019
I'm not sure which I did more of while reading this wonderful book: chuckle out loud or wipe away tears. It helps, I suppose, that I was a huge fan of the author's long-running "Cathy" comic strip. Perhaps more important, while I'm older than she is by nine years, I, too, was a champion of the feminist movement (still am, as is she) and was for a time sandwiched in between parents and a daughter, all of whom were growing old, and up, way too fast. Sadly, my parents are gone now - and my daughter has become the "stuff" inside the Oreo of life, caught between a grown daughter of her own and her aging parents (which, Lord help us, means me and my husband).
In any event, oh, how I can relate - and I'm quite sure all but teenybopper females will do so as well. These essays were written, Guisewite says, at a time when she's trying to "declutter" her own life (hmmm, I'm pretty sure that's a word that passed through our daughter's lips last time she popped in for a visit). Feminist though she may be, Guisewite admits to feeling torn between Betty Crocker and Betty Friedan (conjuring up decades-ago memories of whipping up a casserole for my family to eat while I attended a Gloria Steinem lecture). I choked with laughter - and frustration - as she recounted getting "stuck" in a sports bra; as a gym newbie, I can tell you it's not fun (though worse, perhaps, is the embarrassment over having to call someone to your rescue). And before I caved and joined the gym, I, too, resisted the call to exercise, rationalizing that "I exercised yesterday and I don't look any different."
There are far too many other shared feelings and experiences to mention here (especially since I don't want to spoil the fun for other readers). In the end, she sums up the dilemma we're in perfectly: "My whole generation is reeling from the stunning truth - that we, who are way too young and hip to ever look or act old, are not too young to pass away." Aha - maybe that's why I glance proudly at the year-old Aristocat tattoo on the top of my flip-flop clad foot as I open the morning newspaper first to the obituaries pages. Torn indeed!
In short, I love, love, love this book - highly recommended. Many thanks to the publisher, via NetGalley, for the opportunity to read and review an advance copy.
In any event, oh, how I can relate - and I'm quite sure all but teenybopper females will do so as well. These essays were written, Guisewite says, at a time when she's trying to "declutter" her own life (hmmm, I'm pretty sure that's a word that passed through our daughter's lips last time she popped in for a visit). Feminist though she may be, Guisewite admits to feeling torn between Betty Crocker and Betty Friedan (conjuring up decades-ago memories of whipping up a casserole for my family to eat while I attended a Gloria Steinem lecture). I choked with laughter - and frustration - as she recounted getting "stuck" in a sports bra; as a gym newbie, I can tell you it's not fun (though worse, perhaps, is the embarrassment over having to call someone to your rescue). And before I caved and joined the gym, I, too, resisted the call to exercise, rationalizing that "I exercised yesterday and I don't look any different."
There are far too many other shared feelings and experiences to mention here (especially since I don't want to spoil the fun for other readers). In the end, she sums up the dilemma we're in perfectly: "My whole generation is reeling from the stunning truth - that we, who are way too young and hip to ever look or act old, are not too young to pass away." Aha - maybe that's why I glance proudly at the year-old Aristocat tattoo on the top of my flip-flop clad foot as I open the morning newspaper first to the obituaries pages. Torn indeed!
In short, I love, love, love this book - highly recommended. Many thanks to the publisher, via NetGalley, for the opportunity to read and review an advance copy.
April 1, 2019
If you can get through the first couple of chapters while maintaining a positive attitude, you just might end up liking this book. I was nervous at first- it had the potential to become one big 300-plus-page gripe fest. But Guisewite saves it by being entirely, humorously candid and displaying all her jagged faults- even the ones we've tried to hide in ourselves.
May 19, 2019
I feel like I'm in a weird middle where I did grow up reading the funny pages (one of which was Cathy) while new strips were still being put out, but I hated this book.
This reminded me a lot of Tell Me More: Stories about the 12 Hardest Things I'm Learning to Say in that both feel over-indulgent in the authors' cathartic acknowledgements that they are not good people, but they still continue to do the things they do. For example, there are countless passages about Guisewite's binge eating, but then she'll tell her daughter that she looks fat. It might also be my age, but I was overall sick of hearing Guisewite's hypocritical thoughts that led her to scream and turn on others often.
Guisewite also reads super dated - this was published this year, but she's a peak white feminist. There's like one or two mentions of nonwhite people in the entire book, and so much of her ranting deals with how women today are "regressing" from what we've "earned." Tinder isn't perfect, but it's nothing but toxic to pretend that it is not a good thing that women have more autonomy over their sexuality than in the past. The same goes for how women dress - yes, traditional feminine aspirations are based in patriarchal standards, but modern feminism is far from bra-burning.
This actually made me like the comic strip less - wish I hadn't read it. Don't bother picking this up.
This reminded me a lot of Tell Me More: Stories about the 12 Hardest Things I'm Learning to Say in that both feel over-indulgent in the authors' cathartic acknowledgements that they are not good people, but they still continue to do the things they do. For example, there are countless passages about Guisewite's binge eating, but then she'll tell her daughter that she looks fat. It might also be my age, but I was overall sick of hearing Guisewite's hypocritical thoughts that led her to scream and turn on others often.
Guisewite also reads super dated - this was published this year, but she's a peak white feminist. There's like one or two mentions of nonwhite people in the entire book, and so much of her ranting deals with how women today are "regressing" from what we've "earned." Tinder isn't perfect, but it's nothing but toxic to pretend that it is not a good thing that women have more autonomy over their sexuality than in the past. The same goes for how women dress - yes, traditional feminine aspirations are based in patriarchal standards, but modern feminism is far from bra-burning.
This actually made me like the comic strip less - wish I hadn't read it. Don't bother picking this up.
July 31, 2019
This book is a 317 page long Cathy comic. I mean that in the worst way possible.
I don't know what I was expecting. I guess, as a person who was never a fan of the "Cathy" comic strips, but grew up seeing them in the paper alongside some of the classics, I hoped this book would be insight into the person behind it all. Maybe she would share some self awareness about how she spent 30+ years reducing her character to diets, dating and swimsuit shopping. She does not.
I almost stopped after the 5th essay, where she describes in detail how she commented on her 19 year old daughter's posture and admits to telling her to suck her stomach in when picking her up from the airport. I continued on, with hopes that she would get deeper a little further in. She does not get deep. Each essay is written as a bit, I guess? The problem is they aren't funny. I'm supposed to believe she truly dictated an entire essay from her phone while stuck in a sports bra in the changing room? Creative liberties are fine if the work is actually creative and the end result is funny. There's not much funny in this book.
There was one almost relatable essay, about the stuffed animals her daughter had loved as a child and left behind as she started college. Ultimately, her focus is on being goofy and seeming clever instead of authentic. And oh boy, here comes another essay where she makes it unclear if she's writing about raising children, or dealing with aging parents! What do you know, she's infantilizing her parents again! I guess every time she does that, it's supposed to be funny, but it left me feeling like she thinks her audience is pretty simple minded and easily amused. If that's the case (possible) then yes, she is on to something!
There's a lot more female stereotypes throughout: swimsuit shopping! shoes! spending most of a trip in Paris searching for a top to match a skirt she bought 11 years ago! eating food and then feeling shame! Ultimately, it just made me feel sad that instead of defining herself as something outside, or at least much deeper than the Cathy comic character, she wrote a new book of Cathy comics, with no art. AACK!
P.S. Gloria Steinman, are you okay? I see on the back of this book that you provided advance praise, saying that Cathy Guisewite "...has writen a book that will help free our lives to the very end". What kind of prison were you living in that made this book feel freeing to you?
I don't know what I was expecting. I guess, as a person who was never a fan of the "Cathy" comic strips, but grew up seeing them in the paper alongside some of the classics, I hoped this book would be insight into the person behind it all. Maybe she would share some self awareness about how she spent 30+ years reducing her character to diets, dating and swimsuit shopping. She does not.
I almost stopped after the 5th essay, where she describes in detail how she commented on her 19 year old daughter's posture and admits to telling her to suck her stomach in when picking her up from the airport. I continued on, with hopes that she would get deeper a little further in. She does not get deep. Each essay is written as a bit, I guess? The problem is they aren't funny. I'm supposed to believe she truly dictated an entire essay from her phone while stuck in a sports bra in the changing room? Creative liberties are fine if the work is actually creative and the end result is funny. There's not much funny in this book.
There was one almost relatable essay, about the stuffed animals her daughter had loved as a child and left behind as she started college. Ultimately, her focus is on being goofy and seeming clever instead of authentic. And oh boy, here comes another essay where she makes it unclear if she's writing about raising children, or dealing with aging parents! What do you know, she's infantilizing her parents again! I guess every time she does that, it's supposed to be funny, but it left me feeling like she thinks her audience is pretty simple minded and easily amused. If that's the case (possible) then yes, she is on to something!
There's a lot more female stereotypes throughout: swimsuit shopping! shoes! spending most of a trip in Paris searching for a top to match a skirt she bought 11 years ago! eating food and then feeling shame! Ultimately, it just made me feel sad that instead of defining herself as something outside, or at least much deeper than the Cathy comic character, she wrote a new book of Cathy comics, with no art. AACK!
P.S. Gloria Steinman, are you okay? I see on the back of this book that you provided advance praise, saying that Cathy Guisewite "...has writen a book that will help free our lives to the very end". What kind of prison were you living in that made this book feel freeing to you?
March 27, 2019
The Cathy comic strip was always a favorite of mine. I even once had a Cathy shirt that encapsulated my life as a twenty something just out of college. Thus I was quite certain I would enjoy these essays by Cathy Guisewite and I really did. My favorite thing about the book was the scribbles throughout as they are such a great reminder of her strip. I was also impressed with her ability to honor her parents and her relationship with her daughter while at the same time making us laugh. She has a gift for elevating those she is making jokes about. Her essays are very relatable although at times a bit longwinded and I struggled to find any organized flow to the essays. A good book to read slowly, one essay at a time, rather than devour quickly.
A big thank you to Putnam and NetGalley for a digital ARC of this book in exchange for an honest review.
A big thank you to Putnam and NetGalley for a digital ARC of this book in exchange for an honest review.
March 23, 2019
Cathy Guisewite, after decades penning the comic strip "Cathy," sets down her ink pen and takes up her word processor. It's a bit disconcerting at first, all the words, no pictures, lots of comedy, but drama, too. The angst is still there, roads untaken, be they the road to a happy marriage or simply the road to a contented hour with a child. If you are a Debbie or a Linda or a Cathy yourself, you will see your life in these pages, wrestling with the issues we women have been asked to take on, career or motherhood, caring for your elderly parents, letting go of our children, marriage and relationships.
If you have always liked "Cathy" you might like to give Guisewite a chance to share a bit more than she was able to say in a 10 x 14 inch comic strip.
If you have always liked "Cathy" you might like to give Guisewite a chance to share a bit more than she was able to say in a 10 x 14 inch comic strip.
May 25, 2019
I really didn't enjoy this book at all. Wasn't funny and found it boring.
December 6, 2022
دغدغه ها و سختی های زندگی یک زن در هر جامعه ای در این کتاب گفته شده ولی اونقدر که آدم لحظه اول با دیدن کتاب فک میکنه، کتاب قوی و خفنی نیس که حالا اومده باشه پنجاه تا موردو گفته باشه و در مورد هر کدوم با یه سری دلایل و استدلال های منطقی توضیح داده باشه ... ینی انتظار یه لیست خیلی جالب و جذاب پر از نکات آموزنده رو نداشته باشید ..
روی جلد کتاب هم نوشته دیگه : دلنوشته ..
در کل به خوندن این کتاب ادامه دادم چون نمیخواسم به صورت نخونده گوشه ذهنم بمونه و اگه به خاطر این وسواس فکری راجع به کتاب نبود قطعا بعد از خوندن چند صفحه اول کتاب، دیگه ادامش نمیدادم ..
روی جلد کتاب هم نوشته دیگه : دلنوشته ..
در کل به خوندن این کتاب ادامه دادم چون نمیخواسم به صورت نخونده گوشه ذهنم بمونه و اگه به خاطر این وسواس فکری راجع به کتاب نبود قطعا بعد از خوندن چند صفحه اول کتاب، دیگه ادامش نمیدادم ..
July 2, 2021
Do you want to be comforted when you spent an entire day shopping and nothing fits? When you put off a workout yet again? When you ate an entire bag of snacks? When your kid acts like a stranger and your parents act like kids? Do you want to know you’re not the only one? Do you want to be hugged, clothed in old comfy sweats and told it isn’t your fault and it’s ok? Well, there’s a book for that and here it is. A comfort blanket of a book for the ladies of all middle ages.
Ok, through no fault of my own (to stick with the books’ theme) I grabbed this book from the library expecting cartoons. Or maybe it was my fault…not enough research, should have read some reviews first. That right there is a fine example of taking personal responsibility that the author systematically shirks for comedic effect throughout the book.
So, no cartoons, except for the tiny squiggles between the chapters. Despite the fact the fact that author’s main claim to fame is cartoons, specifically a newspaper comic she did for the very impressive 34 years, named, after its creator, Cathy.
I’m not sure I’ve ever heard of it, certainly never read it, but after this book I can imagine it. Not quote for me. Much like this book. But then again I’m not the intended audience. I work out daily, don’t obsess over clothes or calories, don’t have hoarding tendencies, I don’t have to deal with a teenage daughter or elderly parents, etc. This is a book for the ladies (said with drag queen attitude), moms and daughters of a certain (middle to late middle) age, specifically I’d say the fairly traditional, cisgender heterosexual female of the species. Those are the people who’ll find these essays relatable, who’ll recognize themselves in their struggles to stay in shape or find a perfect pair of jeans or a decent bathing suit or nagging their children or being exasperated by their elderly parents and their seemingly backwards ways and so on. I bet that was the reason the comic found such success and longevity, the ladies just like her (and the comic seems to have been autobiographical to some degree) must have ate it up.
To anyone who doesn’t fit into that category, the book doesn’t have much to offer outside of some interesting thoughts on generational differences and the psychological effects of feminism through time. The author is funny enough, entertaining enough in her own right to make these essays readable and at times mildly amusing, but in the end it seems that the enjoinment of reading this book is going to be directly proportionate to its relatability.
This book seems like a logical next step for the author who seems to have given up the comic for no good reason outside of a desire to suddenly be more present as a mother and daughter, it’s essentially a continuation of a long lasting confessional, albeit more properly biographical. Bet it would have been more fun if done in cartoons, though. Then again this book basically comes with a built in audience who are sure to adore this literary equivalent of mom jeans. To each their own.]
This and more at https://advancetheplot.weebly.com/
Ok, through no fault of my own (to stick with the books’ theme) I grabbed this book from the library expecting cartoons. Or maybe it was my fault…not enough research, should have read some reviews first. That right there is a fine example of taking personal responsibility that the author systematically shirks for comedic effect throughout the book.
So, no cartoons, except for the tiny squiggles between the chapters. Despite the fact the fact that author’s main claim to fame is cartoons, specifically a newspaper comic she did for the very impressive 34 years, named, after its creator, Cathy.
I’m not sure I’ve ever heard of it, certainly never read it, but after this book I can imagine it. Not quote for me. Much like this book. But then again I’m not the intended audience. I work out daily, don’t obsess over clothes or calories, don’t have hoarding tendencies, I don’t have to deal with a teenage daughter or elderly parents, etc. This is a book for the ladies (said with drag queen attitude), moms and daughters of a certain (middle to late middle) age, specifically I’d say the fairly traditional, cisgender heterosexual female of the species. Those are the people who’ll find these essays relatable, who’ll recognize themselves in their struggles to stay in shape or find a perfect pair of jeans or a decent bathing suit or nagging their children or being exasperated by their elderly parents and their seemingly backwards ways and so on. I bet that was the reason the comic found such success and longevity, the ladies just like her (and the comic seems to have been autobiographical to some degree) must have ate it up.
To anyone who doesn’t fit into that category, the book doesn’t have much to offer outside of some interesting thoughts on generational differences and the psychological effects of feminism through time. The author is funny enough, entertaining enough in her own right to make these essays readable and at times mildly amusing, but in the end it seems that the enjoinment of reading this book is going to be directly proportionate to its relatability.
This book seems like a logical next step for the author who seems to have given up the comic for no good reason outside of a desire to suddenly be more present as a mother and daughter, it’s essentially a continuation of a long lasting confessional, albeit more properly biographical. Bet it would have been more fun if done in cartoons, though. Then again this book basically comes with a built in audience who are sure to adore this literary equivalent of mom jeans. To each their own.]
This and more at https://advancetheplot.weebly.com/
August 14, 2019
DNF.
The author is angry and whiny. And the things she goes off on, aren’t anything “new”...i.e...ranting about a woman’s beauty regimen is wayyy more than a man’s. A man doesn’t pluck his eyebrows! A man doesn’t blow dry his hair! A man doesn’t wear ear jewelry to match his outfit! A man doesn’t get Botox!
Ugh. No one is forcing you to do these things, which she goes on and on about.
I think the next chapter is about her getting “stuck” in a sports bra which is 7.41 minutes long...which is 7 minutes too long. We’ve all been there and can relate, but again, she goes on wayyy longer and more drama-y than what’s needed.
I skipped around after this, but it was just more of the same.
The author is angry and whiny. And the things she goes off on, aren’t anything “new”...i.e...ranting about a woman’s beauty regimen is wayyy more than a man’s. A man doesn’t pluck his eyebrows! A man doesn’t blow dry his hair! A man doesn’t wear ear jewelry to match his outfit! A man doesn’t get Botox!
Ugh. No one is forcing you to do these things, which she goes on and on about.
I think the next chapter is about her getting “stuck” in a sports bra which is 7.41 minutes long...which is 7 minutes too long. We’ve all been there and can relate, but again, she goes on wayyy longer and more drama-y than what’s needed.
I skipped around after this, but it was just more of the same.
July 22, 2021
Lol.
I am listening to this EXCELLENT podcast https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/aack-cast-by-jamie-loftus/id1573190681 about Cathy the strip and Guisewite the writer and it is giving me such hot flashbacks to the thirsty assiduous comics-reader I was as a child, totally unable to relish the cutesie-pootsiness of this strip.
Many years later after BECOMING a cutesie-pootsie comicser myself in early sobriety, this becoming would begin to embody the huge yawping chasm between whether it makes sense for me to talk shit about something and whether it makes sense for me to consider anything even remotely graphics autobio by a woman as having been written by my sister,
and luckily I have survived the yawp and come down in actually kind of an obnoxious tantrum on the sister side and been pro-Cathy in theory ever since while remaining personally in practice peevishly encamped in the Cathy!?-are-you-kidding-me row of the stadium with many other old Gen X battle-axes.
It is so easy to be snooty about Cathy. This book is literally about going to the container store and pants size, basically. It is insane to me.
And.
And really you should listen to the podcast because the work Loftus is doing is so thorough and well-presented and all I really have to say is I am fascinated by Cathy and completely in awe of Guisewite and I have read very few things I find more deadly boring than Cathy and some of the ways that Guisewite is operating in the tradition of Joan Rivers I find as scarily poisonous as any of the other more clearly-defined mouthpieces of misogyny.
It's complicated!! Five stars.
.
I am listening to this EXCELLENT podcast https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/aack-cast-by-jamie-loftus/id1573190681 about Cathy the strip and Guisewite the writer and it is giving me such hot flashbacks to the thirsty assiduous comics-reader I was as a child, totally unable to relish the cutesie-pootsiness of this strip.
Many years later after BECOMING a cutesie-pootsie comicser myself in early sobriety, this becoming would begin to embody the huge yawping chasm between whether it makes sense for me to talk shit about something and whether it makes sense for me to consider anything even remotely graphics autobio by a woman as having been written by my sister,
and luckily I have survived the yawp and come down in actually kind of an obnoxious tantrum on the sister side and been pro-Cathy in theory ever since while remaining personally in practice peevishly encamped in the Cathy!?-are-you-kidding-me row of the stadium with many other old Gen X battle-axes.
It is so easy to be snooty about Cathy. This book is literally about going to the container store and pants size, basically. It is insane to me.
And.
And really you should listen to the podcast because the work Loftus is doing is so thorough and well-presented and all I really have to say is I am fascinated by Cathy and completely in awe of Guisewite and I have read very few things I find more deadly boring than Cathy and some of the ways that Guisewite is operating in the tradition of Joan Rivers I find as scarily poisonous as any of the other more clearly-defined mouthpieces of misogyny.
It's complicated!! Five stars.
.
April 11, 2019
Cathy was a four panel daily comic strip, when newspaper comic strips were in their prime. Cathy Guisewite, its creator, did that job, alone in a room, for 34 years. Now, she has written Fifty Things That Are Not My Fault, a comic strip in prose. This time it is really and specifically autobiographical.
The book gives Guisewite the ability to broaden her stories, build up to her punchlines , and most of all, expose her humanity. Because Fifty Things is nothing if not a summary of all the internal conflicts humans are capable of. The central column of the book, and the source of all her angst, is the three generation spread between her, her 19 year old daughter, and her 90 year old parents. Out of that Guisewite reaps a bounty of hypocrisy, irrationality, gullibility and most of all, self-consciousness.
She is self-conscious about her looks, her clothing, her size, her shape, her relationships to all three generations, and how she has, despite all efforts to the contrary, proven to be normal. She fights with her daughter, slamming her for every little thing, knowing all the while it is precisely the wrong thing to be doing. She interferes with her parents, who, after 90 years, know who they are and how they want to live. That is, without middle–aged daughters telling them to clear out the house, rearrange their belongings, move into assisted living, use medic alarm necklaces and other bothers to make their three daughters feel less burdened and guilty.
There is every possible foible covered in depth and with humor, from the gym to the mall, from child rearing to separation anxiety, from junk accumulation to more separation anxiety. She knows what’s wrong in every case, and in every case she goes ahead anyway. The contradictions are endless, and if there is a point to it all, it is that they are also universal.
Her humor is as delightful as ever. Her stories are beautifully structured with sarcasm, self-contradiction and self-pity. If truth be known, she is actually at fault for most of the fifty things, but it’s okay, we all are.
I found a line in her story of her probably 2000th trip to the mall that shows how delightful the whole book really is. She says of shopping: “There’s something magical about taking something that isn’t a problem yet home to meet the rest of my life.”
David Wineberg
The book gives Guisewite the ability to broaden her stories, build up to her punchlines , and most of all, expose her humanity. Because Fifty Things is nothing if not a summary of all the internal conflicts humans are capable of. The central column of the book, and the source of all her angst, is the three generation spread between her, her 19 year old daughter, and her 90 year old parents. Out of that Guisewite reaps a bounty of hypocrisy, irrationality, gullibility and most of all, self-consciousness.
She is self-conscious about her looks, her clothing, her size, her shape, her relationships to all three generations, and how she has, despite all efforts to the contrary, proven to be normal. She fights with her daughter, slamming her for every little thing, knowing all the while it is precisely the wrong thing to be doing. She interferes with her parents, who, after 90 years, know who they are and how they want to live. That is, without middle–aged daughters telling them to clear out the house, rearrange their belongings, move into assisted living, use medic alarm necklaces and other bothers to make their three daughters feel less burdened and guilty.
There is every possible foible covered in depth and with humor, from the gym to the mall, from child rearing to separation anxiety, from junk accumulation to more separation anxiety. She knows what’s wrong in every case, and in every case she goes ahead anyway. The contradictions are endless, and if there is a point to it all, it is that they are also universal.
Her humor is as delightful as ever. Her stories are beautifully structured with sarcasm, self-contradiction and self-pity. If truth be known, she is actually at fault for most of the fifty things, but it’s okay, we all are.
I found a line in her story of her probably 2000th trip to the mall that shows how delightful the whole book really is. She says of shopping: “There’s something magical about taking something that isn’t a problem yet home to meet the rest of my life.”
David Wineberg
May 24, 2019
Guisewite began publishing the comic strip “Cathy” in 1976, the year that I graduated high school. It was a time of high expectations for women, and the unrealistic suggestion that we would be able to “bring home the bacon, fry it up in a pan, and never let you forget you’re a man,” as Madison Avenue decreed, was daunting. Through her sharply perceptive humor, Guisewite let her peers know that it wasn’t just us; we were judging ourselves with an unfair yardstick. She kept it real, and in doing so, kept us sane.
My thanks go to Net Galley and G.P. Putnam for the review copy.
So how does cartooning translate to prose? Whereas the cute, punchy single-page entries and single sentence proclamations—and the lists—are her most familiar territory, my favorite parts of this memoir are the least cartoonish ones. Yes, I love the way she takes down the women’s fashion industry and the unhealthy way it affects our body images. She was good at it forty years ago, and she’s good at it now. But the passages that drew me in and let me get lost in her story are the more vulnerable, deeply perceptive parts of the narrative, her fears for her aging parents; the struggle and triumph of raising a daughter, one with special needs, alone; and the failure of her marriage. I am in awe of the fact that she and her ex made each other laugh until the tears came as they planned their divorce. Who does that? And of course, she made me laugh too.
Guisewite stays inside her usual parameters, never veering outside of the middle class Caucasian realm with which she has experience. Younger women won’t get much joy out of this memoir; women that came of age between 1965 and 1985 are right in her sweet spot, and it is to them that I recommend this book. It’s available now.
My thanks go to Net Galley and G.P. Putnam for the review copy.
So how does cartooning translate to prose? Whereas the cute, punchy single-page entries and single sentence proclamations—and the lists—are her most familiar territory, my favorite parts of this memoir are the least cartoonish ones. Yes, I love the way she takes down the women’s fashion industry and the unhealthy way it affects our body images. She was good at it forty years ago, and she’s good at it now. But the passages that drew me in and let me get lost in her story are the more vulnerable, deeply perceptive parts of the narrative, her fears for her aging parents; the struggle and triumph of raising a daughter, one with special needs, alone; and the failure of her marriage. I am in awe of the fact that she and her ex made each other laugh until the tears came as they planned their divorce. Who does that? And of course, she made me laugh too.
Guisewite stays inside her usual parameters, never veering outside of the middle class Caucasian realm with which she has experience. Younger women won’t get much joy out of this memoir; women that came of age between 1965 and 1985 are right in her sweet spot, and it is to them that I recommend this book. It’s available now.
July 16, 2019
Readers will be disappointed if they are expecting this to be a continuation of or even to be in the same vein as the Cathy comic strip. This book is a series of reminiscences, most arising from the author reaching the sandwich generation years. Anyone who reviews the author as too whiny has likely not reached the age where you wake up one morning and overnight your feet have become too big for your shoes.
The book consists of an introduction and 48 essays. As with any memoir made up of a series of stories, some are too brief, some too long. Some likely embellished for sake of humor. Some so poignant they can bring a tear to your eye. Some surprisingly thought provoking.
The book reflects on the mental gymnastics required to watch your kids experience independence while at the same time preparing yourself for the loss of your parents. All while facing the grim realities of attempting to be comfortable with your own aging. I really liked the book and feel confident recommending it to someone who is either currently facing or has already gone thru that period of life. Four stars instead of five because, in my opinion, the book could have used a bit crisper editing to rein in some of the longer sections.
The book consists of an introduction and 48 essays. As with any memoir made up of a series of stories, some are too brief, some too long. Some likely embellished for sake of humor. Some so poignant they can bring a tear to your eye. Some surprisingly thought provoking.
The book reflects on the mental gymnastics required to watch your kids experience independence while at the same time preparing yourself for the loss of your parents. All while facing the grim realities of attempting to be comfortable with your own aging. I really liked the book and feel confident recommending it to someone who is either currently facing or has already gone thru that period of life. Four stars instead of five because, in my opinion, the book could have used a bit crisper editing to rein in some of the longer sections.
February 7, 2019
If you are a fan of daily newspaper comics (for those who remember reading a physical newspaper), and you're in a certain age group (I'm in my 50s), you may recall a character in a strip called "Cathy." The strip depicts the life of a single woman, unsolicited advice from her mom and the unfailing affection of her little dog.
This book is a collection of essays written by the strip's creator reflecting on her life in recent years. She shares what it's like having a college-age daughter and aging parents. We relate to her experience in the dressing room trying to find jeans and her struggles with food.
Even if you've never seen the comic strip, this is a great read. Alternating between funny and serious, it's heartfelt and I look forward to sharing this with patrons when it's published this spring.
This book is a collection of essays written by the strip's creator reflecting on her life in recent years. She shares what it's like having a college-age daughter and aging parents. We relate to her experience in the dressing room trying to find jeans and her struggles with food.
Even if you've never seen the comic strip, this is a great read. Alternating between funny and serious, it's heartfelt and I look forward to sharing this with patrons when it's published this spring.
March 22, 2019
It's easy to forget that comic strip artists are actually writers. They have to come up with a story line that plays out in tiny chapters over a week or more and keeps the audience coming back day after day. Cathy Guisewite quit her comic strip after thirty-four years in 2010. But apparently she kept writing and now we have a collection of essays about adopting and raising her daughter who is now in college, worrying about her parents as they enter their nineties, and mundane things like exercise and diet, marriage and dating, shopping and pets. I've become a skimmer in recent years but I read this entire book cover to cover. I look forward to more essays from Guisewite. (Thanks to Penguin First to Read for a review download.)
March 1, 2019
I loved everything about this book of essays from Cathy Guisewite, creator of the Cathy comic strip. I’ve went through all the same life stages as her, and laughed out loud constantly. Highly recommended!!
August 13, 2019
Cathy Guisewite's self esteem is still at the bottom of the office shredder...
March 24, 2019
Thanks to Goodreads and Putnam for this ARC.
I have been a big Cathy fan since she started writing her comic strip 34 years ago (can it be that long)? and saved many of her strips that I totally related to. They are all yellowed now. I was so disheartened when she decided to stop writing it. She's had many comic strips books over the years but this is her first book of essays as she calls it and the only one I've read.
I learned so much about her, her writing, her family, her adopted daughter, and her parents getting older. I alternately laughed and cried through the whole book especially when she realized her parents were elderly and how they were set in their own ways no matter how much she tried to "update them." That made me laugh even more.
Thank you Cathy for writing this wonderful book and for sharing your life with me.
I have been a big Cathy fan since she started writing her comic strip 34 years ago (can it be that long)? and saved many of her strips that I totally related to. They are all yellowed now. I was so disheartened when she decided to stop writing it. She's had many comic strips books over the years but this is her first book of essays as she calls it and the only one I've read.
I learned so much about her, her writing, her family, her adopted daughter, and her parents getting older. I alternately laughed and cried through the whole book especially when she realized her parents were elderly and how they were set in their own ways no matter how much she tried to "update them." That made me laugh even more.
Thank you Cathy for writing this wonderful book and for sharing your life with me.
March 7, 2019
I’ve missed you, Cathy! I’ve forgotten how much Cathy Guisewite could telegraph in a few comic panels. I have a small box filled with the detritus of my life. I’d call it mementos, but by now it’s been picked over so many times that the remains are slim. The diaries and day planners are filled with Cathy cartoons carefully taped into days where they were sufficient to explain all that I felt. This book somehow does the same for this new period of life, where parents and millennials seem to share the same mindset. And somehow our hopes for novel hair products remain ever high despite a lifetime of disappointment. This is a book to cherish and laugh aloud while reading. It is a joy to read. I received my copy from Penguin’s First to Read program and felt incredibly lucky.
May 21, 2019
Years ago, as a young woman working in downtown Chicago, I found a kindred spirit in the Cathy comic strip character. Laughing and nodding my head in agreement, I clipped the ones out of the newspaper that I related to the most (and there were many!) and stuck them everywhere so I could enjoy them again and again. Years later, along comes this gem of a book! Still funny and still relatable, Cathy Guisewite takes the reader on a journey of growing older, with aging parents and adult children in tow. I found myself once again wanting to cut out sections to be savored at a later date.
August 17, 2020
Liked it, but just barely. I cannot recall the last time I saw a "Cathy" comic strip, and might not recognize one without a title, but I have warm recollections that they were enjoyable. This memoir, although thoroughly non-objectionable, will probably fade even more quickly, even the bits that stirred some enjoyable reaction at this reading.
May 27, 2019
All this book was about was complaining. I have never stopped a book so abruptly before. There was nothing funny about the book. I had such high hopes and was looking forward to reading it. Such a disappointment.
July 24, 2019
I'm sorry, but no. I've been trying for a couple of days, but no. Not my kind of funny. It's more whiny than humorous, at least the way she reads it. Maybe written would have worked better for me, but it's too late now.
November 22, 2019
This is a rare DNF for me as a reviewer. I made myself plod through 128 of the 265 pages before deciding that unless someone was going to pay me there was no way I'd even skim the rest.
This is 1980's Cathy in 2019, and she has not aged well. An upper middle class white woman moans about things like having old looking legs, having her shoes no longer fit, paying $145 for a pair of jeans that looks okay, having to listen to her friend's adventure of cleaning out her whole house instead of taking a European vacation this year, and on and on.
Guisewite also writes about her 19 y/o daughter coming home from college, and she paints her daughter in the same cliched light as herself. The daughter is whiny, spoiled and doesn't clean up after herself. Cathy is a dreadful nagging mother who picks her up from the airport and immediately starts criticizing her and telling her what to do (you should have brushed your hair, stand up straight, etc. for pages and pages), leading to further angry distance between the two of them. Is this supposed to be funny? Is this supposed to be relatable? I have a 19 year old of my own (and a 21, 16, 12 and 8 year old) and I would never pick at her like this. My mom did to me, but that was decades ago and I kind of thought most of us had figured out that it was crappy parenting that just alienates kids. Shrug.
I feel for Guisewite as she writes about navigating a relationship with her aging parents in their 90's, but again it's written like it's maybe supposed to be funny but is just kind of depressing. If she had written about this stuff that so many of us are really wrestling with in a way that dropped the fake funny essay tone and attempted to find some meaning in it, I could have loved it. But none of these things are topics for humor, or at least not in this way. At times she seems to be trying for the heartfelt essay, but it just misses the mark.
I found Guisewite absolutely self absorbed, vapid and boring. After this many years of life and success, the fact that she still has nothing better to muse about than her old legs and fat feet and whether the checkout girl in the grocery store is impressed by her career makes me honestly pretty disappointed in her as a person.
Two stars because while I really dislike her and the book she does know how to write a sentence. Some older, middle/upper class white women are likely to relate to the book and enjoy it.
I read half of a temporary digital ARC of this book for the purpose of review. I am not putting a read date on it so it doesn't unfairly count towards my yearly total, but I almost feel like I should get some sort of credit for having to read over a hundred pages of this.
This is 1980's Cathy in 2019, and she has not aged well. An upper middle class white woman moans about things like having old looking legs, having her shoes no longer fit, paying $145 for a pair of jeans that looks okay, having to listen to her friend's adventure of cleaning out her whole house instead of taking a European vacation this year, and on and on.
Guisewite also writes about her 19 y/o daughter coming home from college, and she paints her daughter in the same cliched light as herself. The daughter is whiny, spoiled and doesn't clean up after herself. Cathy is a dreadful nagging mother who picks her up from the airport and immediately starts criticizing her and telling her what to do (you should have brushed your hair, stand up straight, etc. for pages and pages), leading to further angry distance between the two of them. Is this supposed to be funny? Is this supposed to be relatable? I have a 19 year old of my own (and a 21, 16, 12 and 8 year old) and I would never pick at her like this. My mom did to me, but that was decades ago and I kind of thought most of us had figured out that it was crappy parenting that just alienates kids. Shrug.
I feel for Guisewite as she writes about navigating a relationship with her aging parents in their 90's, but again it's written like it's maybe supposed to be funny but is just kind of depressing. If she had written about this stuff that so many of us are really wrestling with in a way that dropped the fake funny essay tone and attempted to find some meaning in it, I could have loved it. But none of these things are topics for humor, or at least not in this way. At times she seems to be trying for the heartfelt essay, but it just misses the mark.
I found Guisewite absolutely self absorbed, vapid and boring. After this many years of life and success, the fact that she still has nothing better to muse about than her old legs and fat feet and whether the checkout girl in the grocery store is impressed by her career makes me honestly pretty disappointed in her as a person.
Two stars because while I really dislike her and the book she does know how to write a sentence. Some older, middle/upper class white women are likely to relate to the book and enjoy it.
I read half of a temporary digital ARC of this book for the purpose of review. I am not putting a read date on it so it doesn't unfairly count towards my yearly total, but I almost feel like I should get some sort of credit for having to read over a hundred pages of this.
April 4, 2019
I am the perfect demographic for this book, subtitled “Essays From the Grown-Up Years”: I loved the “Cathy” comic strip, and found it so frequently absolutely NAILED situations/relationships/dilemmas in my own life as a woman who spent a boatload of time in the 70s-80s-90s reveling in the feminist energy I felt all around me while also struggling with issues related to self-esteem, body image, gender equality, etc.
Not being a mother, I haven’t really shared the mother-daughter experiences such as Cathy and her daughter share, so those who find themselves in what Guisewite calls the “panini generation” may more closely relate to some of the essays. But I still laughed frequently and choked back a few tears as I read about her experiences dealing with her aging parents and her adopted daughter as she watches her growing up.
I loved learning about the actual woman behind the comic strips that have given me so much enjoyment over the years, and I appreciate the emotion conveyed in the essays in this collection. I loved it and will likely gift it to more than a couple of women I know… those who share my feeling as I read Ms. Guisewite’s words: “My whole generation is reeling from the stunning truth – that we, who are way too young and hip to ever look or act old, are not too young to pass away.”
Thanks to Penguin Group Putnam and NetGalley for a copy in exchange for this honest review. Five Stars.
Not being a mother, I haven’t really shared the mother-daughter experiences such as Cathy and her daughter share, so those who find themselves in what Guisewite calls the “panini generation” may more closely relate to some of the essays. But I still laughed frequently and choked back a few tears as I read about her experiences dealing with her aging parents and her adopted daughter as she watches her growing up.
I loved learning about the actual woman behind the comic strips that have given me so much enjoyment over the years, and I appreciate the emotion conveyed in the essays in this collection. I loved it and will likely gift it to more than a couple of women I know… those who share my feeling as I read Ms. Guisewite’s words: “My whole generation is reeling from the stunning truth – that we, who are way too young and hip to ever look or act old, are not too young to pass away.”
Thanks to Penguin Group Putnam and NetGalley for a copy in exchange for this honest review. Five Stars.
April 7, 2019
As a woman of a certain age, I read the "Cathy" comic strip for years and loved it. This is like coming back home to an agreeable and comfortable friend. So many things I have experienced personally or my friends are going through - having a daughter head out to college and how to treat her as the independent young woman that she is; parents who freak out at figuring out: 1. a new remote, 2. a tv that can pause a live program, 3. food that lives in the freezer forever; living more than a thousand miles from your family and what that means in physical and emotional distance; coordinating what to do with parents in conjunction with your siblings. This book was funny and so accurately reflected my life - I loved it! I want to thank First to Read for letting me read this book in exchange for my honest review.
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