Why Churches Need to Talk about Sexuality: Lessons Learned from Hard Conversations about Sex, Gender, Identity, and the Bible

by Mark Wingfield

Journalist and pastor Mark Wingfield describes how the congregation he serves undertook a detailed study of how the church should respond to the inclusion of gay, lesbian, bisexual, and transgender members. The study was conducted by a nineteen-member blue-ribbon task force that included wide representation of the church's various constituencies. The author served as a staff liaison, recording secretary, and resource to the study group, keeping meticulous notes of the process and the aftermath of the study. Why Churches Need to Talk about Sexuality is written for clergy and lay leaders in Protestant congregations of all kinds who need a helpful guide to conversations about human sexuality within congregations. The book also has in mind anyone who wants to understand the controversial debates about human sexuality and the Christian church today and who desire to follow a process to discuss the topic and make decisions about how congregations and individuals will respond to matters of ministry and sexuality. This book not only details the process used at Wilshire but also tells the human story of why the study was undertaken and what happened to the lives and faith of real people inside and outside the church. The author's hope is to provide a resource to other clergy and church leaders to understand why this issue must be addressed, how difficult it is to address, and what to expect along the way. As the title indicates, even though this is a difficult conversation to have, churches must have the conversation anyway.

Genres: Nonfiction, LGBT, Faith, Christianity, Religion, Christian, Sexuality

176 pages, Paperback

Published December 3, 2019

Reviews

[Chris Leroux · Rating 5 out of 5]

As someone who finds 90% of religious literature to be severely lacking in genuine insight, this is the best book I’ve read in that category in many years. It almost feels like a disservice to lump this book into that genre as this is so much smarter and thoughtful than what you typically find there.
Aside from dealing very practically and intelligently with the increasingly important discussion surrounding American Evangelicalism and human sexuality, this account offers wisdom and insight that any sensible person can benefit from. And in the currently polarized religious and political climate we find ourselves in, the discussion points and the way in which they are handled serve as both practical suggestions as well as signs of hope that it is still possible to talk through our differences.
This is essential reading for anyone who considers themselves religious and also desires to fully understand their beliefs and why they believe them.
Select favorite quotes are below.
“To study something implies that there might be something new to learn. And that in itself is threatening.”
“But in the highly politicized culture of these times, defending a party affiliation often overcomes understanding religious teaching.”
“Not everyone wants open and thoughtful conversation, because they regard such conversation to be threatening; they worry that their existing views may be challenged. When someone says, “There’s nothing to discuss”, what that person really means is, “I’m not open to new information that might change my mind.”

[Chelsea Hopkins · Rating 5 out of 5]

I think this book is important. It made me cry several times.

“A new commandment I give to you, that you love one another: just as I have loved you, you also are to love one another. By this all people will know that you are my disciples, if you have love for one another.”
‭‭
John 13:34-35 (ESV)

[Nathan Byrd · Rating 5 out of 5]

I’ve read lots of books and articles lately discussing the subjects of LGBT+ identity and the ways churches and organizations tackle or avoid the topic. I’ve read many personal accounts of those who have left or been forced out of the congregations which raised them after revealing their true selves to their spiritual family. Many of those works have been highly instructive to me and I have recommended them to others. However, none compare to this. Wingfield’s account of Wilshire Baptist Churches process is unprecedented. Our church has started the process of discussing and exploring our perspectives on LGBT openness and inclusion three times now. We can’t seem to finish the process. While not an manual, this provides some excellent examples of ways to tackle the difficult and contentious challenge. He also offers critiques of their proceeds d suggestions of ways it could have been done better. I highly recommend this to congregations, leaders, and members who are thinking about the people and issues of inclusion and welcoming.

[Ron Burt · Rating 4 out of 5]

I enjoyed this book, but I wish it was written for a slightly broader audience. It is supposed to be for affirming and non-affirming christians, to help a church set up ways to talk through the passages in the Bible that address same-sex behavior.

Knowing my non-affirming family and friends, I don't think they are at the point yet where they think any such discussion is warranted.

Once they get to the place where they see people can hold to orthodox Christian beliefs AND being affirming of gay people, then this book would be good for sitting down with YOUR particular church and hammering out the details.

[Jessie · Rating 3 out of 5]

Very short chapters, so the story isn't fastpaced, but it reads quickly.

This was just fine for me individually. I appreciate seeing the process of this particular church in that moment in time, but I don't know that there was anything I needed here. But I'm in a group that's reading it, and I think it's been a useful gateway for a number of people.

[Corinne Williams · Rating 4 out of 5]

An interesting read. Definitely written for church leadership and staff, but still valuable for all Christians.

[Rose Jones · Rating 3 out of 5]

I did like the message here and I think it's an important book but I wanted more biblical context.