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Orphans of Wonderland

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Twenty years ago, journalist Joel Walker wrote a book about a ritual killing. It exploded into a bestseller and became part of the mass Satanic hysteria of the 1980s. However, his story and the evil he investigated were real and left him the victim of a nervous breakdown. For the last two decades, his has been a quiet existence far from his former home in Massachusetts. But when one of his childhood friends is brutally murdered and rumored to have been involved in bizarre medical experiments, Joel is lured back to find out what really happened. Joel must delve deep into the darkness once more, investigating all the way back to his own childhood, and the secrets he and his old friends buried there years ago. But where do paranoia and madness end and real evil begin? With the Orphans of Wonderland.

254 pages, Paperback

First published March 3, 2015

6 people are currently reading
217 people want to read

About the author

Greg F. Gifune

79 books352 followers
Called "One of the best writers of his generation" by both the Roswell Literary Review and author Brian Keene, Greg F. Gifune is the author of numerous short stories, several novels and two short story collections. His work has been published in a wide range of magazines and anthologies all over the world, and has recently garnered interest from Hollywood. His novels include The Bleeding Season, Deep Night, Saying Uncle, A View From The Lake, Night Work, Drago Descending, Blood In Electric Blue and Dominion.

Along with his short story collections, Down To Sleep and Heretics, his work has been nominated for numerous awards and is consistently praised by readers and critics alike across the globe. For seven years he was Editor-in-Chief of Thievin' Kitty Publications, publishers of the acclaimed fiction magazines The Edge: Tales of Suspense (1998-2004) and Burning Sky: Adventures in Science Fiction Terror (1998-2003), and currently serves as Associate Editor at Delirium Books. 

The son of teachers, Greg F. Gifune was educated in Boston and has lived in various places, including New York City and Peru. A trained actor and broadcaster, he has appeared in various stage productions and has worked in radio and television as both an on-air talent and a producer.  Earlier in life he held a wide range of jobs, encompassing everything from journalism to promotions.

The author of numerous novels, screenplays and two short story collections, his work has been consistently praised by critics and readers alike, and has been translated into several languages and published all over the world. Greg and his wife Carol live in Massachusetts with a bevy of cats. 

Discover more about his writing at GregFGifune.com and UninvitedBooks.com.

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Displaying 1 - 30 of 31 reviews
Profile Image for Misty Marie Harms.
559 reviews729 followers
March 8, 2022
Whelp, that was absolutely terrifying. Yet another outstanding horror book by Gifune. I was locked in from the first chapter. All kinds of twists and turns to keep you guessing where the plot was going. I did not see that ending coming! This author can spin one hell of a scary story. Bravo!
Profile Image for Char.
1,949 reviews1,874 followers
January 12, 2015
4.5 stars!

This book was excellent, as I’ve come to expect from Greg Gifune.

Joel, a journalist with a dubious mental health history, is approached by the daughter of his old friend, Lonnie. Lonnie was murdered and his daughter convinces Joel to investigate. Joel agrees and the reader is taken on a journey deep into government secrets, hidden experiments, child abuse, demons and insanity. Is it all in Joel’s head or is it real? You will have to read this book to find out!

As always, Gifune’s prose is streamlined to create an atmosphere of creeping unease and tension. He masterfully weaved this tale so that the reader is often unsure if what is happening is real or not. By the end of the tale, we know. It’s sad, it’s awful, and it’s all TOO real. This tale does revisit themes that Gifune has often visited in the past with much success. In my opinion, he was successful this time as well.

A gripping, horrific tale with psychological aspects, Greg Gifune reels the reader in until he has a tight grip on them, and then he stomps all over their feelings and perceptions until all that remains is a shaky bundle of nerves. I highly recommend this story to lovers of psychological horror.

*I received a free eARC from Net Galley in exchange for an honest review. This is it.*


Profile Image for Jon Recluse.
381 reviews311 followers
December 21, 2014
This was an eARC from Netgalley.

A reporter looks into the murder of an old friend, only to discover that a nearly forgotten trauma in his past is a signpost on the highway to cold sweat territory in this stunning novel. The specters of the Cold War mind control experiments of the 60s and the satanic cult hysteria of the 80s spin throughout this stunning powerhouse of creeping paranoia, weaving with a thread of Outer Limits otherness into a vast tapestry that reveals the greatest conspiracy of all is the denial that evil exists.
This one doesn't just mess with your sleep.....it wreaks havok with your awake.

Greg Gifune is a phenom. No one does dark fiction quite like he does.

Expected publication: March 3rd 2015 from Samhain Publishing Ltd.
Profile Image for Kimberly.
1,942 reviews2 followers
March 11, 2015
Greg Gifune's latest novel, ORPANS OF WONDERLAND, brings us to the very brink of madness.....and quite possibly beyond.

Joel is living an uneventful, but pleasant life in Maine with his wife, Taylor, when he gets an unexpected visit. The daughter of one of his best childhood friends arrives with news that sends him leaving behind his current life, and driving back to the neighborhood that he grew up in.

Joel reconnects with some of his closest friends that remained in town, and finds that ugly buried memories from the past begin coming back to haunt all of them.

In this novel, I felt that characterization was Gifune's strongest point. Joel is a man that I felt I knew inside and out, despite the mental confusion. As the lines between reality and nightmare begin to fuse into one indistinguishable thread, you'll find yourself asking, "What defines madness?"....

Although there were some great parts at the climatic ending, I did find myself wishing it had veered in a slightly different direction.

Still, a solid read with a distinctive style that long-time fans of Gifune will eagerly devour!

Recommended!
Profile Image for Gatorman.
726 reviews96 followers
May 23, 2015
Gripping tale from Gifune about mind control, lost childhood, friendship and the nature of evil, it's a complicated plot that requires the utmost attention. It fascinates at the same time it puzzles. The protagonist, Joel, is a rather troubled sort, and his investigation into an old friend's death is just the beginning. Very-well written, as usual, the story never flags and comes to a surprising, intense ending that is rather fitting in light of all that came before. A bit confusing at times but satisfying nonetheless. Gifune fans should not be disappointed and new readers should give this one a try. Highly recommended.
Profile Image for Sjgomzi.
362 reviews163 followers
May 27, 2020
Wow! What an ending! Another great Gifune book!
Profile Image for Bill.
1,884 reviews132 followers
August 5, 2016
There is a world behind the world. And it is full of darkness and pain and evil.

Without a doubt, Gifune is one of the best in the business. His characterizations are spot on and his stories always have a palpable sense of darkness to them. With that said, there is a lot going on in Orphans of Wonderland, possibly…too much. It came together in the end, but still felt like there was a lot of story crammed into a tight format. (Maybe I just wish it was a bit longer.) With anyone else, this could have been a train wreck, but Gifune pulls it off with solid characters and brooding atmosphere. You simply can’t go wrong with Gifune. 4 Stars.
Profile Image for Kaisersoze.
738 reviews31 followers
January 1, 2015
I've reached the point where I've run out of superlatives to describe the way in which Greg F. Gifune writes. If you've read him, you know what I mean. If you haven't, you're most definitely missing out.

That said, I've also noticed some pervasive recurring themes through his works, and they no longer have quite the same affect on me as they did when I first read his excellent The Bleeding Season. From tortured main protagonists to threats that Gifune hints could be supernatural in nature but may also just be the result of damaged and demented minds, Orphans of Wonderland has numerous Gifune-tropes.

Still, the story of a once-successful journalist investigating the death of his friend and along the way remembering snippets of a trauma that sullied he and his friends' lives when they were young goes places that are fascinating. I'll avoid spoiling anything, but suffice to say Gifune establishes a world fertile enough that it could be returned to in any number of intriguing ways.

The ending left me a little cold, however, as I saw the final development in Orphans of Wonderland coming a ways off and was a little disappointed it did not manage to pull the rug out from under me as Gifine's past works have often managed.

With all that in mind, this is a very solid read from an excellent author who I would love to see stretch himself into new territory sometime soon.

3.5 Dissociated Memories (3 here; 4 on Amazon) for Orphans of Wonderland

The preceding was based on a review copy provided by Samhain Publishing through Netgalley.
Profile Image for Chris.
373 reviews80 followers
May 27, 2015
Reporter Joel Walker is summoned to his hometown after a childhood friend, Lonnie, is brutally killed, and reluctantly decides to investigate the tragic death. But what he begins to uncover is beyond his wildest dreams and nightmares. Memories of his group of friends, and a shared horrific event thought long buried, begins to resurface, and threatens Joel's sanity, a horror that once almost claimed him.

Chilling, inventive, and razor sharp, Gifune once again shows us why he's truly a master storyteller. Highest of recommendations.
Profile Image for Amit.
771 reviews3 followers
April 25, 2021
It was as usual another Greg F Gifune masterpiece. Very deep in a sense that it needed much attention while you read...

Though it took quite a while before finish the story for me. But when in to the story I was so convinced that it would end up as a great tale. I was not wrong. Joel Walker journalist once wrote a book about some ritual killing massacre. Though the result of it left him sick in mental health and it cost him almost more year to recover himself. The events he covered was something he just want to vanish it from his mind. Living the

Joel Walker wrote a book about a ritual killing. It exploded into a bestseller and became part of the mass Satanic hysteria of the 1980s. However, his story and the evil he investigated were real and left him the victim of a nervous breakdown. had the quiet life with his wife Taylor it was then all of a sudden he had the news of his childhood best friend been murdered brutally which somehow connected with his past journey. Though at first he didn't want to participate with the matter but later he couldn't resist the urge to find out out reason behind the murder of his friend. The story took some time to enter the main tale as I found the 1st half kind of slow and boring. But gradually it picked up its rhythm and thus deliver the great story. The ending was something I really didn't expect and it left surprise and dumbfounded at the same time. It was really unexpected. Great read that was with much tensed situation...

4 from me...
Profile Image for Stephen.
180 reviews12 followers
April 6, 2020
No disappointments with this book. This was a thrill from start to finish. Could not put it done. Great characters, smooth prose. Greg puts the reader right into the action. Like tagging along with the characters for support. He fills the page with grit, no fluff. A truly awesome book. I’ve read a few of his work and will continue to do so, with no apprehension. A solid read by a solid writer.
Profile Image for Sara Twigg.
84 reviews2 followers
January 27, 2022
Loved the book, but it could have gone into a bit more depth on the institute how the characters got there in the beginning.
Profile Image for Michael Hicks.
Author 38 books506 followers
October 19, 2015
[Note: I received an advanced reader's copy of this title from the publisher via NetGalley for review.]

Although I've not read nearly enough of Greg F. Gifune's work, the few titles of his that I have are quickly making me a fan. He's a terrific writer and able to create believable characters in a short amount of time.

I've only read Lords of Twilight and Oasis of the Damned previously, with this book, Orphans of Wonderland, being the first full-length novel, and what impresses me the most is his breadth as an author. So, while I only have three titles to base a judgement on his oeuvre, his work thus far has never struck me as derivative, and it's impossible to fancy him as a one-note author, hammering away at the same themes and concepts from book to book. There's a few writer's out there who have made a career out of writing basically the same novel for decades on end, but Gifune is quite clearly not one of them. Orphans is completely different from Oasis, which was a stark contrast to Lords of Twilight. And I freakin' love that!

Orphans of Wonderland plays like traditional mystery, but with dashes of the weird. The main protag here is Joel, a small-town reporter who once made a big-time splash with his investigation of a young girl's murder at the hands of a Satanic cult. He's disappeared into obscurity, living with his wife and covering local events where he writes about school cafeteria lunch programs and reports little league scores. After a childhood friend, Lonnie, is killed, he's pulled back into investigating the dark events surrounding the murder, as well as his own past.

Frankly, there's a lot going on here. It's a dense story, but Gifune juggles it well. The plot is infused with the occult, demons, mysterious radio broadcasts, and far-reaching conspiracies. Think The X-Files in its heyday, but with a stronger Kolchak influence, thanks to Joel's journalism pedigree. What I loved most about it was the layered sense of history, as Joel reflects on his childhood and the friends he's lost - and forced to suddenly reunite with - as he gets closer to uncovering the truth behind Lonnie's demise. And as Joel discovers those truths? Man, it's a powerhouse, and I could feel little parts of myself cracking in sympathy for him.

The only complaint I have is that the ending wasn't quite as powerful as the events preceding it. It lacked some of the oomph I was expecting, and it didn't really dazzle or surprise, with the last-minute reveal acting as more of a confirmation of my suspicions rather than unexpected twist.

But, that minor bit aside, I totally dug this book and find it an easy one to recommend. The story has so much going for it, and Gifune gets so many things right, that it's easily worth the time to read. Check it out!
Profile Image for Robert Mingee.
225 reviews12 followers
April 2, 2019
This story had a fascinating premise, and as is usual with Greg Gifune, a fully-realized atmosphere, so much so that at times it felt like you were living it. Many aspects of the main character really resonated with me personally.

There is an awful lot going on in the book, and at times I felt a little lost, but it probably didn't help that I was juggling 2-3 other things at the same time - this one I think is best read all on its own.

In the end, while there are Gifune books I like more, I have yet to read anything by him that wasn't very well-written and thought-provoking, and this is no exception.
Profile Image for Icy-Cobwebs-Crossing-SpaceTime.
5,640 reviews329 followers
December 10, 2014
REVIEW ORPHANS OF WONDERLAND by Greg F. Gifune

It seems impossible to improve on perfect, but Greg Gifune consistently does exactly that. I consider ORPHANS OF WONDERLAND a classic, a novella I will find myself reading and rereading frequently. This story is so well-written, it's characterization so fine-tuned, it's plotting so impeccable, it's monstrousness so implacable.

Former hard-driving investigative journalist Joel Fowler, a likable fellow if there ever was one (likable in the sense of Dickens' Bob Cratchit), is an all-round good heart who's hoed a pretty horrifying row in his lifetime. If he were less good-hearted, he wouldn't have investigated years ago a case with Satanic overtones, and subsequently been publicly trashed. Nor would he now return to his home town and old hangouts, investigating the "random" murder of an old friend. Poor Joel: too much integrity and too little sense of self-preservation.
Profile Image for Majanka.
Author 70 books405 followers
January 14, 2015
Book Review originally posted here: http://www.iheartreading.net/reviews/...

Orphans of Wonderland is original, offers insightful, intriguing characters and stays away from most of the clichés horror novels tend to fall for. The story focuses on Joel Walker, who used to be a successful journalist two decades ago when he wrote about a ritual killing. When the story exploded and mass hysteria about Satanic rituals began in the 1980s, Joel suffered a nervous breakfown. The media scrutinized him, police officers hated him for mocking the force, and he’d written a sensationalist book while from the get-go, his whole intention had been to tell the truth. After his breakdown, he build a life for himself, as far away from hiis hometown as possible, and tried to fight the demons haunting him.

But when one of his childhood friends get murdered and his daughter calls him for help, Joel is lured back to the past and tricked into finding out more about what happened to him and his friends during their childhood. Are the demons he sees real? Are they figments of his haunted mind? And how can he stop the darkness from seeping in?

The story itself was imaginative, original, and hit all the right notes. For the largest part of the book, the reader is left wondering whether it’s all in Joel’s mind, if he was the victim of bizarre medical experiments or if something even more sinister is going on. The characters are solid, especially Joel. I enjoyed spending time in his mind and getting to know him, and wondering whether he’s sane or not. The writing was great throughout, and every now and then reached the level of excellent.

The book had two downsides though. One would be the pacing. The story starts out slow, continues on the same slow pace for most of the book, and then rushes through the ending. The second flaw would be aforementioned ending. It left much to be desired. Everything seemed to come together too fast, with several loose ties. It also didn’t seem to fit with the tone of the rest of the book.

As I’ve come to expect from this author, another enjoyable dark fiction book that makes the reader question the borders of reality and insanity.
Profile Image for Amanda M. Lyons.
Author 58 books161 followers
November 12, 2015
I'll not lay out a synopsis for this one as that is a good deal of the interest in reading it,getting wrapped up in Joel's investigation and following the bits and pieces to the end. Instead I'll just have my say on it.

Gifune has a strong narrative voice and I enjoyed the characters he constructed for this one, very believable down to earth types we could imagine in our own neighborhoods pretty easily. I also found the plot involving and the atmospheric aspects came across very nicely. I am not often one who enjoys books that tackle themes that involve occult overtones (I'm a person who never really got all that phased by a lot of the films dealing with them so I tend to avoid many books that cover it out of habit) but he nicely surpassed that issue for me here. It actually taps into some very dark real life myths and legends from the 80s that affected a lot of people and does find a way to ground it in something a little more probable than the stories told then, but I will say I almost felt like a little more could have been said there maybe.

The pacing was consistent and nicely involving until we hit the last two dozen pages or so, where I felt like we might have had a bit more detail and maybe understood a bit more about the events as they happened if there had been. This is not to say it isn't a good book or that things fall flat however, Orphans of Wonderland does a lot with it's 224 pages and it's been a great introduction to Gifune as a whole. Highly recommended to fans of supernatural mystery and the darker side of literary fiction.
Profile Image for Mommacat.
606 reviews31 followers
January 16, 2016
When I started reading ORPHANS OF WONDERLAND it seemed to be different from all of the other books that I had read by Greg Gifune. Different in that it seemed to be a thriller/mystery novel - one I could just sit back and read and put little thought into. Wow, was I wrong!

ORPHANS is a mystery/thriller, but so much more. Gifune takes the reader by the hand and leads them down a winding path of psychological horror so slowly that you don't realize what has happened until you arrive.

I highly recommend this to all readers of suspense and horror.

I received an e-arc of ORPHANS OF WONDERLAND from the publisher in exchange for my review.
Profile Image for S.B. (Beauty in Ruins).
2,675 reviews244 followers
September 3, 2022
I'm of two minds regarding Orphans of Wonderland, and despite thinking about it for a few days, I'm still having a hard time reconciling my opinions of my first literary encounter with Greg F. Gifune.

I loved the concept here, especially with its hearkening back to the satanic hysteria of the 80s and the early days of tabloid journalism. I remember those days well, when everything from D&D to Iron Maiden was breeding the next wave of satanic murderers, and daycares across America were being run by bloodthirsty cults. It was a crazy era of mass hysteria, and I think Gifune does a masterful job of touching upon it and looking deeper beneath the surface.

Similarly, I loved the mystery of the book's first half, particularly the suspense regarding what really happened to Joel Walker, and what it might have to do with the death of his old friend decades later. The story was beautifully layered, with just enough hints, reveals, and suggestions scattered throughout to keep you reading, and to drive you forward into his investigation. I didn't care for the characters nearly as much as the mystery, which may have been a contributing factor to my conflicted emotions, but they were adequate to the tale, even if they were nothing special.

The big problem, for me, was the pacing. The first third of the book was so slow, and so dense with dialogue, that I really struggled to keep with it. Had the subject matter not intrigued me so much, and the mystery not engaged me so well, I'm sure I would have consigned it to the DNF file. It picked up in the middle third, and all but raced towards a conclusion in the final third, but that opening was tough. The middle section did have some really strong set pieces, including some creepy, loopy, crazy bits, but I do wish we'd gotten more of them sooner. I saw the end coming a long way off, and was a little disappointed to find no final twist or shock to derail my expectations, but that's okay.

Orphans of Wonderland wasn't quite the horror tale I was looking for, and I certainly had my issues with it, but I can't say enough about the mystery and the suspense that carried me through. That's a hard thing to sustain, and one area where Gifune certainly excelled.


Originally reviewed at Beauty in Ruins
Profile Image for Darryll Doucette.
18 reviews
April 5, 2025
This fun little conspiracy thriller was entertaining enough. Think of such nineties fare as X-files, Jacob's Ladder, The Ninth Gate and every Stephen King story ever. EDIT: I wrote a longer, much more scathing review of this but decided to give the author the benefit of the doubt.
I have the feeling he was honing his craft with this novel. It features many of the hallmarks of a fledgling writer enamoured with all the pop culture conspiracy references (cliches) he could possibly throw in while still keeping his story coherent.
However, I'll be damned if he doesn't manage to evoke a spooky, evocative mood at times and the story does move at such a blurry pace the reader is never encouraged to overthink things. Unfortunately, the final few chapters squander any goodwill the story managed earlier with a moustache twirling final boss, a fuzzy exposition dump and anti-climatic gunplay but, like I said, all the hallmarks of someone working through the process, purging the cliches from his system. I'll be willing to check out this author's other works if only to track his progress and confirm my theory. EDIT: I take it back. This guy churns out one or two books a year. All first drafts, I'm betting. Quantity over quality is not an ethic I can get behind.
Profile Image for Stephanie.
713 reviews
May 28, 2023
4.5 stars, rounded up. I'm always on the lookout for really awesome Satanic Panic books, so Orphans of Wonderland seemed right up my alley. I count it among the best I've read. It's hard to say too much about it without giving everything away, but the end surprised me in the best way. I love a great ending like this one.
Profile Image for Bob.
927 reviews
July 28, 2018
Excellent suspense novel involving mind control, the occult, and conspiracy. What's not to like? Very highly recommended.
4 reviews
May 30, 2020
A brilliant psychological horror mystery novel, don't know how Gifune does it, but I absolutely love it, the ending will absolutely blow your mind, loved it.
Profile Image for Scott.
290 reviews7 followers
January 15, 2015
There is no question that Greg Gifune is a terrific writer, so I expected to enjoy Orphans of Wonderland. What I didn't expect was that it would be a masterpiece.

The character of Joel Walker is enough to fill a novel by itself: a reporter once famous for writing a true crime book about Satanic cults in the ''80s who suffered a nervous breakdown and now works for a small town paper covering town hall meetings. The death of a childhood friend leads him out of his cocoon and in to a nightmare.

A haunted past is almost a prerequisite for a Greg Gifune protagonist but as Orphans of Wonderland continues the secrets pour out and the reader learns just what a hellish existence Joel has had. As he reconnects with his old high school friends during his investigation we see their broken lives and everything traces back to a shared incident in their childhoods.

The twists and reveals are too good to spoil in a review. Trust me, they are there and they won't disappoint. The reader will not be left hanging at the end as there is a definite resolution, but questions linger about certain events and loyalties that left me thinking about the story long after I had finished reading.

This is my favorite Greg Gifune novel that I have read and I urge dark fiction fans to snatch this one up. 5 stars!
Profile Image for Angela Crawford.
387 reviews23 followers
March 12, 2015
From the Description:


Pray it's only paranoia. Twenty years ago, journalist Joel Walker wrote a book about a ritual killing. It exploded into a bestseller and became part of the mass Satanic hysteria of the 1980s. However, his story and the evil he investigated were real and left him the victim of a nervous breakdown. For the last two decades, his has been a quiet existence far from his former home in Massachusetts. But when one of his childhood friends is brutally murdered and rumored to have been involved in bizarre medical experiments, Joel is lured back to find out what really happened. Joel must delve deep into the darkness once more, investigating all the way back to his own childhood, and the secrets he and his old friends buried there years ago. But where do paranoia and madness end and real evil begin? With the Orphans of Wonderland.


Orphans Of Wonderland is a twisted tale of cults and the occult, of mind control and secret organizations. The horrors in this book were disturbingly insidious because many of the things touched on were real life horrors. Greg F. Gifune blends the everyday horrors with the supernatural ones brilliantly. The writing was great and the characters were believable. A scary 4 star read.
Profile Image for Bria.
559 reviews
December 4, 2015
I feel like I have just finished having coffee with Sgt John Munch from Special Victims Unit.

Now I'm slowly getting up from the little cafe table with the feeling of my brain being crushed by absolutely insane and paranoid ideas but trying not to be harsh or critical because he was friendly and intelligent.

And as I'm walking I'm shaking my head thinking "Why did I pay for that? Why did I waste my time on that? I learned nothing of use. Every idea was so far fetched and vaguely explained that it felt like it was said for pure shock value.

Although, the random historical and factual references were helpful. Unfortunately they were the only interesting facets of this book and had nothing to do with the plot besides setting the scene."

Overall, I could've just spent a couple hours listening to homeless people and have gotten the same type of story.
Profile Image for David Bridges.
249 reviews16 followers
April 12, 2015
Wow that was a really exciting read. Some excellent psychological horror. It is written at a pace that slowly builds up to a nice payoff. The build up is so tense and scary I was concerned about the pay off in the end but Gifune did not disappoint. The book creatively spins some fascinating theories about government mind control and the occult.

A quote from one of my favorite parts of the book: "listen to people now and you’d think none of it ever happened. You’d think the Devil’s the good guy in all this and the rest of us are crazy.”

The ending has a nice twist. The whole book is a giant mindf***. I definitely look forward to reading more by Gifune.
Profile Image for Nikki.
711 reviews
August 13, 2016
This is the type of evil that I think is real. The human kind, mixed with just enough of the supernatural kind and messing with things we shouldn't. There is an entire world behind this one that we can't see, that we aren't meant to see and when we try to harness its power, its evil - well, we shouldn't be surprised when the results are disastrous. With enough of a twist to make you feel as if you've been punched in the gut, this has been one of my favorite reads.
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