One Day on the Gold Line: A Memoir in Essays

by Carla Rachel Sameth

Through meditations on race, culture, and family, One Day on the Gold Line tells the story of a lesbian Jewish single mother raising a black son in Los Angeles. A memoir-in-essays, it examines life’s surprising changes that come through choice or circumstance, often seemingly out of nowhere, and sometimes darkly humorous—even as the situations are dire.
While escaping from a burning boat, Carla realizes that if she died, her one regret would be not having children. She overcomes miscarriages to finally give birth to a son. Motherhood’s usual struggles are then complicated by identity, community, and the challenges of creating a blended family. The overarching theme of these loosely woven reflective tales is the storyteller’s dream of the “perfect” family, the pursuit of which hurls her from one crisis to the next, ultimately meeting its greatest challenge in the form of her teenage son’s struggle with drug addiction.

Genres: Memoir

220 pages, Paperback

First published July 17, 2019

About the author

About Carla

photo by Hilary Jones

Writer. Teacher. Mother. As a writer, Carla hopes to help readers feel less alone and more resilient. As a teacher, she strives to help others tell their stories and hone their craft while experimenting with new forms. The journey of motherhood informs much of her writing.

Carla’s memoir, One Day on the Gold Line, is forthcoming, release date July 18, 2019, with publisher, Black Rose Writing.

Carla teaches creative writing at the Los Angeles Writing Project (LAWP) at California State University Los Angeles (CSULA) and with Southern New Hampshire University (SNHU). She is a member of the Pasadena Rose Poets who present “poetry within reach and in unexpected places.” The Whidbey Writers Workshop MFA Program awarded her a merit scholarship in 2014. Carla became a Los Angeles Writing Project fellow when she attended the 2016 Summer Invitational Writing Institute at CSULA and was selected for a PEN in the Community Teaching Artist Residency in the fall of 2016.

Carla holds a bachelor’s degree in Latin American studies from the University of California, Santa Cruz and an MFA in Creative Writing (Latin America) from Queens University of Charlotte. Carla also studied economics and literature at the Universidad Autónoma de México City.

Carla’s work has been published in several anthologies and has appeared in print and online in publications that include ePen (the online publication of PEN Center USA); Brain, Child; Brevity Blog; The Nervous Breakdown; Anti-Heroin Chic; Collateral Journal; Full Grown People; Narratively; Mutha Magazine; Tikkun; Pasadena Weekly; AOL/Patch (the regular column “Single Moms of South Pasadena”); Angels Flight Literary West; and La Bloga. Her story “Graduation Day at Addiction High,” which originally appeared in Narratively, was also selected for Longread’s “Five Stories on Addiction.”

Carla has helped others tell their stories through her communications business (iMinds PR). She is the co-founder of the Pasadena Writing Project and a writing instructor and mentor for incarcerated youth through WriteGirl. She played an instrumental role in building a career and education outreach program for Latinas at Women at Work. Carla also worked with the largest urban Indian Clinic, The Seattle Indian Health Board, where she started a program to combat family violence and sexual assault and created a model program for addressing adolescent healthcare, teen pregnancy, and teen parenting.

Carla’s goals as a writer and teacher are to give a voice to those who might not otherwise have one and to offer hope for change.

Reviews

[Sam · Rating 4 out of 5]

I found this book to be a fascinating although at times a confusing read.. it’s a memoir composed from essays, which make some time and place jumps. The memoir tells a story about race, culture, intimacy and finding one’s self. It’s a wild story about survival, strength and most of all love.
The writer has a unique style and is outspoken, and maybe a little crazy, it sits really well with me. I couldn’t really put this book down, but I also can’t tell you exactly what I liked about it.

Also is het son’s name Raphael or Gabriel? So confused...

*received ARC for an honest review*

[Ginger Pinholster · Rating 5 out of 5]

By turns raw, fearless, terrifying, and uplifting, through Carla Rachel Sameth's layered portrait of a woman's quest to find her power, she gives voice to the human experience. The title essay in this collection, One Day on the Gold Line, describes Sameth's horrifying experience as the victim of police brutality. In that essay and others, the reader sees time and again how a woman can endure suffering, yet pick herself up and carry on. Throughout the book, Sameth strives to reclaim "Sammy Boy," her strong, confident childhood self. Although this memoir in essays describes domestic abuse, multiple miscarriages, failed relationships, and addiction in Sameth's family, we are left with a sense of triumph and hope. Recommend!

[Judith Teitelman · Rating 5 out of 5]

In clear, compelling language, Carla Sameth shares deeply personal chapters of her life with unflinching honesty. These interwoven essays, often heart wrenching and poignant, but also surprising and uplifting, reveal her unwavering determination and abilities to overcome just about anything. Highly recommended.

[CB · Rating 5 out of 5]

This poignant exploration of a quest for wholeness initially looks towards romantic relationships, as the author, a Jewish lesbian mother of a black son, explores her younger years. She recognizes with regret the one who got away, as well as the physically and emotionally abusive relationships which are so easy to identify for others (the author once worked with abused women), but which we find hard to accept when we're at the center of them.

As readers, we see the author come to the painful realization that her romanticized notions of relationships may not be feasible in real life, and that it is not eros but storge, familial love, which leads her on a deeply painful journey filled with lost pregnancies, but which ultimately gives her a son. It is deeply moving to see the bond the author develops with her son in childhood, as they provide one another with support through the challenges of relationships and step siblings, and equally heartbreaking to see that bond begin to crumble as her son becomes a teenager and begins to keep destructive secrets from her.

Ultimately, the author finds philautia, self-love, as she makes seemingly impossible decisions for the sake of her son and her own well-being. Her memoir comes across as both self-critical and ultimately self-accepting after the author hits rock bottom and finds her way to herself.

Through all this runs a thread that begins in the title of the memoir, and that comes to a culmination in the center of the book, where we learn what happens that fateful day on the gold line. The author may have been prepared for her black son to face challenges in an America that is far from post-racial and in which police brutality against young black is all too common. Little did she think even a middle-aged Jewish woman could fall victim to such violence. She explores this problem both through a gripping account of her own experience on the gold line, and through an exploration of her son's perspective and major recent news stories.

Overall, this poignant memoir is emotionally, intellectually, and politically challenges, and Sameth brings her experiences to life through raw honesty and vivid prose that will likely linger with readers for a long time to come.

[Corrine Ardoin · Rating 5 out of 5]

In a collection of memories of her life, Carla Sameth traces the thin thread of her soul's yearning for peace, nature, and a beautiful family through years of heartbreak and trauma. She bravely recounts her experiences being Jewish and lesbian and her victimization by our broken health-care and criminal justice systems. Her determination to have that beautiful family is a goal that keeps her going, despite repeated miscarriages and abusive relationships. Miraculously, it seems, she is blessed with a son who, himself, grows to lead a life as tragic as her own.

As you read One Day on the Gold Line, you may begin to feel as I had, as desperate for her happiness as she, as hopeful for someone to champion her cause. Ultimately, as we all must learn, that hero must come from within. We must be the champion of our own story. This, Carla learns, as the discovery brings her back to the beginning of her story, where one's hero is always to be found. Corrine Ardoin, author of Fathers of Edenville

[Cybele · Rating 5 out of 5]

Stories of hardship, trauma and recovery are too often told with many difficult details glossed over. Carla Sameth’s book, One Day on the Goldline, is not one of those. This book is about making life choices and surviving the consequences. It doesn’t spare you details, which for many people, are important to hear. How do we get through? Where will we turn? What is the next step? Sameth gives you her answers in essay form, all related to aspects of her life; being a mother; a victim of violence; being queer and in the end became a force of good for herself, her loved ones and friends. The best part of the book is the introspection Sameth shares, and the hope she gives to those in relatable circumstances (which is all of us at one point or another). This is a raw telling of difficult topics, but somehow it is easy to hear because of her matter-of-fact attitude. Her stories are not ones to be missed.

[Chip Jacobs · Rating 5 out of 5]

Carla Rachel Sameth's memoir-esque book sparkles with loosely connected stories that, without pomp or hyperbole, inspire you to believe in the resilience of the human spirit to rebound from just about anything. Adolescent sexual ambiguity; multiple miscarriages; flameout romances, inconvenient earthquakes, searing questions of belonging as a gay, Jewish mom of a biracial son with his own demons. This is all rendered with razor-sharp writing that carefully observes the details—and embraces the absurdity—of the persistent shit-storms raining down on her. By the end, when she is nearly bludgeoned to death by hyper-aggressive sheriffs, we're cheering for her justice because we've watched her whipped by injustice before. It's no wonder she's a writing teacher with a swelling fan base. Climb aboard One Day On the Gold Line and you'll see.

[Colette · Rating 5 out of 5]

In searingly honest prose, Carla Rachel Sameth chronicles the highs and lows of her journey toward love, motherhood, and a deeper understanding of self in this memoir in essays. Each essay focuses on an essential moment in her life—a near-catastrophic ferry ride in Greece; a summer spent working on an all female trail crew in California’s national parks; a horrifying encounter with LA sheriffs on a commuter train—during which she both lost and found a part of herself. Thoughtful, evocative, and often heartbreakingly funny, Sameth’s voice pulls us in and envelopes us with its warmth and surety. This is a writer to remember and follow, whose work pushes readers to think, to live, and to love with the same openness and ferocity that she does.

[Tanya Ko Hong · Rating 5 out of 5]

One Day on the Gold Line by Carla Rachel Sameth is an amazing book to read! "For weeks people kept calling and asking how I was doing. Over and over I heard the question "What was the damage?" It took me a long time to realize that what they were asking about was the Northridge earthquake, not my third miscarriage. (p.44) I couldn't stop reading this brutally honest memoir in essays. Often, I held my breath while I was reading. My tears dropped and the next thing I knew, I was laughing. Brilliant and beautifully written with courage and honesty.

[Marina DelVecchio · Rating 5 out of 5]

I loved the concept of writing a memoir as a collection of essays that connect with each other. An avid nonfiction reader, the structure of this narrative was remarkably put together and each essay connected seamlessly to the next, creating a lovely, raw, and candid portrayal of one woman’s life and desire to be a mother. I enjoyed each essay as it brought me closer and deeper into the author’s life and pain and most cherished moments. Lovely read and beautifully written!

[bellaecco · Rating 5 out of 5]

I found this book to be a fascinating memoir about race, culture, intimacy and the modern family. Her powerful, direct writing took me on a wild ride of survival and hope: from a burning boat through numerous heartbreaking pregnancy losses and breakups, to her only son's addiction, and many more stories in between.

Great read. Through all the ups and downs, she learns and loves fearlessly. You gain a sense of hope at the end.

[Gerda Govine · Rating 5 out of 5]

Carla has written her Memoir that demonstrates her strength and strong survival skills in the face of unrelenting odds. She is naked as each word creates a story that is knee buckling. Her
many challenges show up and she tackles them, wrestles them to the ground and rises up to honor her strength, tenacity and resurrection.

[JoAnne Als · Rating 5 out of 5]

Carla is open and honest depiction in her life and struggles as a single single mother raising a biracial male child. She has made me feel less alone in my challenges. It is an engrossing read . I left rooting for Carla as I continue to ponder the issues raised in her essays.

[Shawn · Rating 5 out of 5]

You can truly hear the author’s voice in this beautifully written memoir as she illustrates the challenges and triumphs of love, sex, motherhood, identity, and family bonds. Her humor and wit help make this memoir a page turner.

[Erin Khar · Rating 5 out of 5]

Carla Sameth’s memoir in essays was a joy to read. In clear prose, Sameth tells stories of motherhood, love, addiction, pain, loss, and grief with honesty and heart. Moving and relevant.

[Moriah Conant · Rating 2 out of 5]

DNF at 40%: hard to follow the various storylines. I wish there was more of a structured timeline or something.

I received a copy of this book in exchange for an honest review.

[Lane Igoudin · Rating 5 out of 5]

“One Day on the Gold Line” is literally all over the map – from Seattle to Italy to LA to the Sierras to Mexico City to the Vancouver Island. In a way, this geographic meandering reflects Carla’s journey to herself, as she looks for her own hearth and home through her relationships with men and women.

Carla’s essays bring up poignant questions: why keep going back to someone who doesn’t love you (“Simpson Meadow”), or crave to have a child with a man who abuses you (“Mother’s Day”), or celebrate a fancy wedding, complete with a rainbow chuppah, with a woman who vacillates between depression and fits of rage (“A House Is Not a Home”)? These questions can’t be answered simply, but they are all too human.

Longing for motherhood punctuates Carla’s story. She mourns the “six unborn children,” and yet she can’t help noticing life’s irony, as when healing from yet another miscarriage, she finds herself teaching a career exploration workshop to a roomful of teen moms.

Eventually, Carla is blessed with a son, Raphael, a sweet and dreamy child. But even there, she faces a new and tough challenge: Raphael’s descent into substance abuse in his adolescence. As his drug use escalates, Carla gets undone often enough, but guided as much by her chutzpah as by her motherly instinct, learns how to support Raphael, how to help him find regain stability and solidity in life. To me, as a fellow parent struggling with his children’s challenges, her persistent hope, her unconditional motherly love are most inspiring.