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Rape Jokes
No, rape isn't funny – but having a sense of humor does help in dealing with the aftermath. When Edie, a record label talent scout, is raped by her date, she has no idea what her post-rape future will look like. Navigating sex, pleasure, work, friends, and her forever-changed mental state in the aftermath of her assault is hard enough. But when the perfect guy turns up at the worst possible time, Edie has to figure out what romance and sex mean to her after her assault. This offbeat feminist romantic comedy moves beyond “girl meets guy,” dealing with sexual dysfunction, the ubiquity of rape culture, and what recovery looks like in a world filled with reminders of your assault. New Adult/Chick Lit/Women's Fiction.
- GenresFiction
207 pages, Paperback
Published March 15, 2019
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Displaying 1 - 7 of 7 reviews
April 24, 2020
| Reader Fox Blog |
The very first truth about this novel is that I feel uncomfortable just typing out its title. And I must admit that this book was difficult to rate as a result. Honestly, the first time that I saw it I was immediately pretty ready to rage scream at someone about how awful it is that someone would think it was even remotely okay or, skies forbid and to hell with the awful soul who thinks it's funny. But, the fortunate thing about Rape Jokes by Louise MacGregor is that, despite the obviously unfortunate choice in title, the book is an insightful and respectful fictional account of a young woman's struggle to work through the incredible trauma that comes from having been raped, realizing the truth of that fact, coming to terms with that fact, and functioning within a society that does not take that trauma seriously alongside troubling men, and women, who feel entitled to the bodies of other people.
This is not a book I read lightly. Now that I’ve finished, I can say that the worst thing about it is unquestionably the title, which I found jarring and uncomfortable in the beginning and continue to find incredibly jarring and uncomfortable. But the truth is that the situation in which the main character finds herself in IS jarring and uncomfortable. So, while I deeply dislike the title for obvious reasons, this book handles the subject matter incredibly well. And that, at the end of the day, is the most important thing to come from a book like this. Rape Jokes is, without question, the best portrayal of the aftermath of a rape that I have ever read in a novel. While the cover and title may be jarring and they are incredibly difficult to look at, I have to say that I am deeply impressed with the novel as a whole. And I think it is important to note the fact that, instead of packaging this book up in a way that makes the public comfortable with it, the author and publisher chose to instead present the situation in a manner that almost directly emulates feelings that people might typically have toward the traumatic themes discussed within this book.
Rape is not something to cover up in something pretty, but rather something that we need to discuss and tackle head-on in every single way possible until we live in a society and a world that takes these issues seriously on every level. And in this, I can respect though I do not particularly like, the author's choice.
Rape Jokes is marketed as a romantic comedy though, frankly, I don’t see it that way. In fact, I find it kind of counterproductive and insulting for the book to be portrayed in this manner. To me, this novel seems more like a dark and therapeutic book, one that takes a real and deep look at the painful and traumatic experience of life after you have been raped. I found myself relating, in a great many ways, to the main character, Edie as she struggled through the aftermath of her rape and multiple assaults. And I do genuinely believe that this is a book that is important for others to read. It will be important to victims/survivors of abuse and it will be important to men and women who might not fully understand this trauma, to really open their eyes to just what someone goes through after they have been sexually assaulted. I was especially impressed and pleased to have seen the inclusion of vaginismus represented in Edie's story, as well, something I have never seen before.
I've left this book feeling better for the fact that it exists, though it looks to me as though I'm the only one who has read it thus far, at least according to Goodreads. I've left this book knowing that there are going to be a large number of people who probably turn their noses up at it because of the title. I've left this book feeling as though, for the first time, I actually see a character who understands something I went through on a deep level which I have never had before. And I've left this book hopeful; I am hopeful that, as the world continues to spin, we will one day have a world where men and women are respectful of each others' boundaries, a world where those who have suffered these traumas will find empathetic and understanding people as they move on with their lives. And I know these feelings aren't all due to this book. Many of them came from the growth of the #MeToo movement, which the author has admitted fueled some of her writing for this book as she was working on a draft when it began.
But I am glad to have read it. I am better for having read it. Maybe others will be, too.
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The very first truth about this novel is that I feel uncomfortable just typing out its title. And I must admit that this book was difficult to rate as a result. Honestly, the first time that I saw it I was immediately pretty ready to rage scream at someone about how awful it is that someone would think it was even remotely okay or, skies forbid and to hell with the awful soul who thinks it's funny. But, the fortunate thing about Rape Jokes by Louise MacGregor is that, despite the obviously unfortunate choice in title, the book is an insightful and respectful fictional account of a young woman's struggle to work through the incredible trauma that comes from having been raped, realizing the truth of that fact, coming to terms with that fact, and functioning within a society that does not take that trauma seriously alongside troubling men, and women, who feel entitled to the bodies of other people.
This is not a book I read lightly. Now that I’ve finished, I can say that the worst thing about it is unquestionably the title, which I found jarring and uncomfortable in the beginning and continue to find incredibly jarring and uncomfortable. But the truth is that the situation in which the main character finds herself in IS jarring and uncomfortable. So, while I deeply dislike the title for obvious reasons, this book handles the subject matter incredibly well. And that, at the end of the day, is the most important thing to come from a book like this. Rape Jokes is, without question, the best portrayal of the aftermath of a rape that I have ever read in a novel. While the cover and title may be jarring and they are incredibly difficult to look at, I have to say that I am deeply impressed with the novel as a whole. And I think it is important to note the fact that, instead of packaging this book up in a way that makes the public comfortable with it, the author and publisher chose to instead present the situation in a manner that almost directly emulates feelings that people might typically have toward the traumatic themes discussed within this book.
Rape is not something to cover up in something pretty, but rather something that we need to discuss and tackle head-on in every single way possible until we live in a society and a world that takes these issues seriously on every level. And in this, I can respect though I do not particularly like, the author's choice.
Rape Jokes is marketed as a romantic comedy though, frankly, I don’t see it that way. In fact, I find it kind of counterproductive and insulting for the book to be portrayed in this manner. To me, this novel seems more like a dark and therapeutic book, one that takes a real and deep look at the painful and traumatic experience of life after you have been raped. I found myself relating, in a great many ways, to the main character, Edie as she struggled through the aftermath of her rape and multiple assaults. And I do genuinely believe that this is a book that is important for others to read. It will be important to victims/survivors of abuse and it will be important to men and women who might not fully understand this trauma, to really open their eyes to just what someone goes through after they have been sexually assaulted. I was especially impressed and pleased to have seen the inclusion of vaginismus represented in Edie's story, as well, something I have never seen before.
I've left this book feeling better for the fact that it exists, though it looks to me as though I'm the only one who has read it thus far, at least according to Goodreads. I've left this book knowing that there are going to be a large number of people who probably turn their noses up at it because of the title. I've left this book feeling as though, for the first time, I actually see a character who understands something I went through on a deep level which I have never had before. And I've left this book hopeful; I am hopeful that, as the world continues to spin, we will one day have a world where men and women are respectful of each others' boundaries, a world where those who have suffered these traumas will find empathetic and understanding people as they move on with their lives. And I know these feelings aren't all due to this book. Many of them came from the growth of the #MeToo movement, which the author has admitted fueled some of her writing for this book as she was working on a draft when it began.
But I am glad to have read it. I am better for having read it. Maybe others will be, too.
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May 6, 2019
I won a print copy of this book from the publisher through an EARLY READER giveaway they had on LibraryThing and the following is my honest opinion.
It is said that the first three pages of any book is the most important, for if you’re unable to hook an individual’s interest by then, you’ve probably lost the sale of the book. However, even before this comes another hook, and that’s the book’s title. Given the voracious book reviewer I am, since I don’t accept requests to review a book, I’m always on the prowl for giveaways to get another book I can read/review. Usually I check out the book’s description before entering the giveaway; but with such an intriguing title as Rape Jokes, I merely entering the giveaway.
While one of the most beautiful, most marvelous things any woman can experience in her life is that of giving birth to her first child; the most terrifying, the most horrific things any woman can experience is being rape. It’s one thing being raped by an unknown, sex-craved male; being raped by a guy a woman has dated a few times already can have a profound effect on her psyche and the way she’ll engage in sex going forwards.
When the book arrived, I immediately tore into it, wanting to read the first joke the author could have imaginably written regarding the topic of rape. Instead, I got immediately swept into the shoes of the book’s protagonist, Edie, and felt particularly all of the nuances she was experiencing.
And like Edie, being in her shoes, I also would have had no idea whatsoever of how my now status post, shell-shocked existence might be transformed. Would Edie’s work ethic be changed, especially with any relationship she might have with her coworkers? And what about her desire to do things she used to love to do? But, most importantly, being a woman, how would Edie’s attitude about romance and sex be changed, especially when a new guy is about to enter her life, at the one of the untimeliest moments of her life, following the still lingering repercussions of her recent date rape.
But, yet, miraculously somehow Edie possesses a unique sense of humor which is allowing her to look beyond what has happen to her, look beyond society’s ubiquitous culture regarding rape, and to deal with her future existence still carrying the baggage of her sexual assault.
For having given her readers, and myself, an erotic, humorous romance story with an I will survive attitude, I’ve given Ms. MacGregor and her book 5 STARS.
It is said that the first three pages of any book is the most important, for if you’re unable to hook an individual’s interest by then, you’ve probably lost the sale of the book. However, even before this comes another hook, and that’s the book’s title. Given the voracious book reviewer I am, since I don’t accept requests to review a book, I’m always on the prowl for giveaways to get another book I can read/review. Usually I check out the book’s description before entering the giveaway; but with such an intriguing title as Rape Jokes, I merely entering the giveaway.
While one of the most beautiful, most marvelous things any woman can experience in her life is that of giving birth to her first child; the most terrifying, the most horrific things any woman can experience is being rape. It’s one thing being raped by an unknown, sex-craved male; being raped by a guy a woman has dated a few times already can have a profound effect on her psyche and the way she’ll engage in sex going forwards.
When the book arrived, I immediately tore into it, wanting to read the first joke the author could have imaginably written regarding the topic of rape. Instead, I got immediately swept into the shoes of the book’s protagonist, Edie, and felt particularly all of the nuances she was experiencing.
And like Edie, being in her shoes, I also would have had no idea whatsoever of how my now status post, shell-shocked existence might be transformed. Would Edie’s work ethic be changed, especially with any relationship she might have with her coworkers? And what about her desire to do things she used to love to do? But, most importantly, being a woman, how would Edie’s attitude about romance and sex be changed, especially when a new guy is about to enter her life, at the one of the untimeliest moments of her life, following the still lingering repercussions of her recent date rape.
But, yet, miraculously somehow Edie possesses a unique sense of humor which is allowing her to look beyond what has happen to her, look beyond society’s ubiquitous culture regarding rape, and to deal with her future existence still carrying the baggage of her sexual assault.
For having given her readers, and myself, an erotic, humorous romance story with an I will survive attitude, I’ve given Ms. MacGregor and her book 5 STARS.
February 5, 2021
*This book is now out under the name “Right Guy, Wrong Time : A #MeToo Story.” I will be re-reading it under the new title and reviewing it again there*
"But instead, I felt the opposite. Mired down. Like I had let myself fall deeper into the swamp of bad feeling that I had been wallowing in the last few weeks."
I received this book through the LibraryThing Early Reviewers program.
I want to start this review off with everything I enjoyed about this book. While there were a few issues I had with Rape Jokes, it was not enough to keep me from giving it a four star rating. Overall, it was a very enjoyable read, and one that I feel was important.
The first thing I loved about this book was how accurate and relatable it was. The novel addresses how hard it is to say the word rape after the event happens, how even a comforting touch becomes panic-inducing, the constant searching for some sign you gave that could have been seen as a "yes," and the mixed feelings of sadness and relief when you meet someone who has been through the same thing. I felt that Edie didn't filter any of the thoughts and feelings that happen after such an event. It made it easier to read and gave a realistic portrayal of people's minds after rape. I found the rape scene at the beginning to be slightly triggering to me, but being able to read a novel like this was, overall, therapeutic. It really gave me a character to relate to. I also think it's important for people who haven't been through such an event to read books like this, as it gives them a better understanding of friends and family who have been through this.
I also really enjoyed the relationships that Edie had throughout the novel. Her friends were very supportive, and i genuinely enjoyed reading their interactions. I also loved Philip. He was very understanding. At first, Edie had a difficult time admitting to him what had happened, but in the end he was very supportive of her. This not only made the novel more realistic but gave it a more positive note.
Farther along in the novel, Edie is assaulted by her co-worker, Dominic, as well. I liked that MacGregor included this. When you read it, it seems like an unlikely event. However, multiple sexual assaults happening to one person isn't that uncommon. It makes the reader think about their first opinions more deeply.
One thing I was not a fan of was the sex. I'm not opposed to reading sexy scenes in a book, but to me it seemed very out of place. Of course, getting back into her sexual life was a major part of the novel, but I just didn't feel that it was well done. I didn't love how detailed it was. I guess a part of that was the shock factor: how one can go from feeling sexy and excited to being in a complete panic or in pain the next. But, the scenes that were written just didn't sit right with me.
I also don't love the name Rape Jokes. In the summary on the back, it says that Edie uses humor to help her deal with her situation. However, Edie never really jokes at all during the book. There is no real indication that she uses her humor to help herself get through her rough times. There is a certain shock factor to the name Rape Jokes, but it was more of a negative shock than a positive one.
Overall, I loved the book. I would recommend this to anyone who needs comfort in finding a situation they can relate to, or to anyone who wants to open their eyes a little more as to what other people are going through.
"But instead, I felt the opposite. Mired down. Like I had let myself fall deeper into the swamp of bad feeling that I had been wallowing in the last few weeks."
I received this book through the LibraryThing Early Reviewers program.
I want to start this review off with everything I enjoyed about this book. While there were a few issues I had with Rape Jokes, it was not enough to keep me from giving it a four star rating. Overall, it was a very enjoyable read, and one that I feel was important.
The first thing I loved about this book was how accurate and relatable it was. The novel addresses how hard it is to say the word rape after the event happens, how even a comforting touch becomes panic-inducing, the constant searching for some sign you gave that could have been seen as a "yes," and the mixed feelings of sadness and relief when you meet someone who has been through the same thing. I felt that Edie didn't filter any of the thoughts and feelings that happen after such an event. It made it easier to read and gave a realistic portrayal of people's minds after rape. I found the rape scene at the beginning to be slightly triggering to me, but being able to read a novel like this was, overall, therapeutic. It really gave me a character to relate to. I also think it's important for people who haven't been through such an event to read books like this, as it gives them a better understanding of friends and family who have been through this.
I also really enjoyed the relationships that Edie had throughout the novel. Her friends were very supportive, and i genuinely enjoyed reading their interactions. I also loved Philip. He was very understanding. At first, Edie had a difficult time admitting to him what had happened, but in the end he was very supportive of her. This not only made the novel more realistic but gave it a more positive note.
Farther along in the novel, Edie is assaulted by her co-worker, Dominic, as well. I liked that MacGregor included this. When you read it, it seems like an unlikely event. However, multiple sexual assaults happening to one person isn't that uncommon. It makes the reader think about their first opinions more deeply.
One thing I was not a fan of was the sex. I'm not opposed to reading sexy scenes in a book, but to me it seemed very out of place. Of course, getting back into her sexual life was a major part of the novel, but I just didn't feel that it was well done. I didn't love how detailed it was. I guess a part of that was the shock factor: how one can go from feeling sexy and excited to being in a complete panic or in pain the next. But, the scenes that were written just didn't sit right with me.
I also don't love the name Rape Jokes. In the summary on the back, it says that Edie uses humor to help her deal with her situation. However, Edie never really jokes at all during the book. There is no real indication that she uses her humor to help herself get through her rough times. There is a certain shock factor to the name Rape Jokes, but it was more of a negative shock than a positive one.
Overall, I loved the book. I would recommend this to anyone who needs comfort in finding a situation they can relate to, or to anyone who wants to open their eyes a little more as to what other people are going through.
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
June 16, 2019
It took me a little while to get into this book, it was not really what I was expecting. Although I'm not sure what I actually was expecting. Once I got into it I enjoyed it. It is classified as a romantic comedy, but I wouldn't call it that. I found it to be pretty serious and not all that funny, although there were some funny moments and the romance part was good.
I will also say that this book was uncomfortable to read in public. The title causes some eyebrow raising. I felt the need to flip it over when I wasn't reading or tuck it away when I had guests. However, every single person who did see the title questioned me about it, so I guess that's good marketing. Nobody ever reacts to run of the mill book titles the way I saw people react to this one. I think a lot of people who have personal experience with this topic would benefit from reading it.
I will also say that this book was uncomfortable to read in public. The title causes some eyebrow raising. I felt the need to flip it over when I wasn't reading or tuck it away when I had guests. However, every single person who did see the title questioned me about it, so I guess that's good marketing. Nobody ever reacts to run of the mill book titles the way I saw people react to this one. I think a lot of people who have personal experience with this topic would benefit from reading it.
May 28, 2019
The book begins with our protagonist, Edie, being raped by a man she has been dating. From there, the story follows Edie as she confesses to her friends what happened, starts going to therapy, and, in a fit of bad timing, meets the man of her dreams. As she comes to terms with what happened, she also has to navigate a new, fraught relationship, and deal with the fall-out from an incident at work. The back cover also promises readers that Edie faces all of this with humor and takes a realistic look at the consequences of date rape.
I really wanted to like this novel. Rape Jokes has a refreshingly realistic take on the subject. Edie's life doesn't go on hold because of her experience; like most women, she is expected to continue going to work, buy food for her cat, and even go on dates. Lena's story especially rang very true, particularly when she tells Edie how her experience wasn't the worst thing that happened to her, and how she still felt rage when thinking that her rapist probably didn't even know what he had done. Even Edie confessing what happened without internalizing what happened rang true.
Unfortunately, the book on the whole had some problems. Some were minor editing issues, like Edie complaining that Dominic liked to beat her to the office in the beginning of the novel, then sensing something was wrong because Dominic was there before her at the end. But there were three major problems that hindered the book.
The first is the title. It's provocative enough that an author should have been sure she could back it up with the promised humor; unfortunately, there wasn't really enough humor in this book, and so the title ended up feeling awkward and flat. When the back flap promises that Edie approaches her trauma with humor, I expected her to specifically use humor to deal with her experience. Instead, she pretty much copes with her experience by doing... what any woman might do. She cries, she feels angry, she sees a therapist. I hoped to see a more unique arc to justify the title, but Edie doesn't particularly seem funny or even unique.
The second problem is that the whole book feels sort of flat. Edie is the main character and I realized by the end of the book, I still had no mental picture of her; I didn't even know what color her hair was. There was almost no description to the city, which led to a weird, unanchored feeling throughout the novel. It felt like the characters were floating in a void the entire time. There was just nothing to make it pop. There were no lines that stuck out, no mental pictures... it just felt very two-dimensional.
The final problem was harder to quantify. Edie deals with not only the date rapist, but with a colleague (or boss? It was very unclear) who sexually harasses her, a gropist at a night club, and a self-involved narcissist of a date. She even hangs two lightshades on this, the first when she complains that nearly every woman not only tolerates, but expects these incidents in her life, and the second when she worries people will not believe her that she was both raped and sexually harassed by her colleague/boss a few weeks later. The problem with this is that while intellectually, I actually know that this happens, and have had it happen to me, something in me balked at it. There's a book I read periodically called How Not to Write a Novel which explains that authors have a harder job than God, because while no one's belief is strained when something actually happens in real life, it has to seem believable when it happens in a novel. I absolutely hate having to say it didn't feel believable, because hey, women not being believed is a big problem! But I don't know of any other way to talk about this in a novel. It just felt engineered, a little too strawman-like to feel real for a novel. Everyone in the novel seemed engineered along "good" or "bad" lines: the friends and new boyfriend are "good", everyone else is "bad". There was no nuance, no three-dimensionality to the characters that made me feel like it was really happening. It felt like every woman's experience in life condensed into the space of a few months and one woman.
I appreciate the publisher for not only sending me a copy to review, but also for taking a chance on a novel that highlights women's experiences in a realistic, empathetic way that I normally don't see in novels; I also appreciate the author for writing about these experiences and showing them to the light. It just felt like something was missing, which was disappointing, because stories like this deserve to be heard and read.
NB: This book was given to me for free by the publisher in return for an honest review.
I really wanted to like this novel. Rape Jokes has a refreshingly realistic take on the subject. Edie's life doesn't go on hold because of her experience; like most women, she is expected to continue going to work, buy food for her cat, and even go on dates. Lena's story especially rang very true, particularly when she tells Edie how her experience wasn't the worst thing that happened to her, and how she still felt rage when thinking that her rapist probably didn't even know what he had done. Even Edie confessing what happened without internalizing what happened rang true.
Unfortunately, the book on the whole had some problems. Some were minor editing issues, like Edie complaining that Dominic liked to beat her to the office in the beginning of the novel, then sensing something was wrong because Dominic was there before her at the end. But there were three major problems that hindered the book.
The first is the title. It's provocative enough that an author should have been sure she could back it up with the promised humor; unfortunately, there wasn't really enough humor in this book, and so the title ended up feeling awkward and flat. When the back flap promises that Edie approaches her trauma with humor, I expected her to specifically use humor to deal with her experience. Instead, she pretty much copes with her experience by doing... what any woman might do. She cries, she feels angry, she sees a therapist. I hoped to see a more unique arc to justify the title, but Edie doesn't particularly seem funny or even unique.
The second problem is that the whole book feels sort of flat. Edie is the main character and I realized by the end of the book, I still had no mental picture of her; I didn't even know what color her hair was. There was almost no description to the city, which led to a weird, unanchored feeling throughout the novel. It felt like the characters were floating in a void the entire time. There was just nothing to make it pop. There were no lines that stuck out, no mental pictures... it just felt very two-dimensional.
The final problem was harder to quantify. Edie deals with not only the date rapist, but with a colleague (or boss? It was very unclear) who sexually harasses her, a gropist at a night club, and a self-involved narcissist of a date. She even hangs two lightshades on this, the first when she complains that nearly every woman not only tolerates, but expects these incidents in her life, and the second when she worries people will not believe her that she was both raped and sexually harassed by her colleague/boss a few weeks later. The problem with this is that while intellectually, I actually know that this happens, and have had it happen to me, something in me balked at it. There's a book I read periodically called How Not to Write a Novel which explains that authors have a harder job than God, because while no one's belief is strained when something actually happens in real life, it has to seem believable when it happens in a novel. I absolutely hate having to say it didn't feel believable, because hey, women not being believed is a big problem! But I don't know of any other way to talk about this in a novel. It just felt engineered, a little too strawman-like to feel real for a novel. Everyone in the novel seemed engineered along "good" or "bad" lines: the friends and new boyfriend are "good", everyone else is "bad". There was no nuance, no three-dimensionality to the characters that made me feel like it was really happening. It felt like every woman's experience in life condensed into the space of a few months and one woman.
I appreciate the publisher for not only sending me a copy to review, but also for taking a chance on a novel that highlights women's experiences in a realistic, empathetic way that I normally don't see in novels; I also appreciate the author for writing about these experiences and showing them to the light. It just felt like something was missing, which was disappointing, because stories like this deserve to be heard and read.
NB: This book was given to me for free by the publisher in return for an honest review.
November 13, 2019
Very good depiction of the aftermath of date rape. It's like: Did that really happen? Did I deserve it? Why did I wear that outfit? Was I asking for it? Then, the healing begins. Allowing oneself to trust another partner and heal enough to let them in is just part of the continuing battle to get back what was taken. I received this book from LibraryThing for free and this is my own personal opinion of this novel. #metoo
July 13, 2019
Up in the air with this book.
Displaying 1 - 7 of 7 reviews