The Birthdays

by Heidi Pitlor

"Captivating, moving, painfully funny, and so very, very true."―Julia Glass On an island off the coast of Maine, the Miller family reunites to celebrate the father's seventy-fifth birthday. Each of the adult children is expecting a first child, and at the same time each is at a major crossroads in life. The eldest, Daniel, still reeling from a car accident that has left him a paraplegic, is also grappling with the fact that his wife had to be artificially inseminated. Jake, the middle child, discovers that his wife is carrying twins after many trying years of fertility treatments. Hilary - the free-spirited youngest daughter - arrives in Maine five months pregnant with no identifiable father in sight. As the family gathers, something shattering happens from which no one will emerge the same. The Birthdays deftly explores the myriad ways of seeking sustenance after disappointment or loss. Reading group guide included.

Genres: Fiction, Book Club, Contemporary

370 pages, Paperback

First published January 1, 2007

About the author

Heidi Pitlor has been the series editor of The Best American Short Stories since 2007. She is the author of the novel, The Birthdays. Her second novel, The Daylight Marriage, is forthcoming in May, 2015.

Reviews

[Lynn · Rating 3 out of 5]

Reading about the Miller family gather together on an island off the coast of Maine was like witnessing a train wreck: you kind of want to look away but you can’t help looking. Everyone is a bit (or a lot) flawed in their own way and the family dynamics exacerbate the flaws. The adult siblings interact the same way as when they were kids, and the parents are off in their own worlds. Most of the characters are barely in touch with their own needs, let alone trying to cope with the needs of others. And a couple of characters are only in touch with their own needs, and have no idea how to relate to others.

The story is told from various characters’ perspectives and sometimes its interesting to learn how different characters perceive the same event. The story takes place over a couple of days but a lot can happen in two days, especially when you get everyone’s reaction.

The book was a little better than OK, but I wouldn’t recommend it.

[Kathy · Rating 1 out of 5]

I almost stopped reading this book a few times but kept hoping it would get better. It was a sad group of characters and the fact that their angst and self-absorption came to a boil at their father's seventy-fifth birthday dinner only increased my disgust with them. There wasn't a single character with which I could empathize and it was depressing to read about a family who were so separate from one another.

[Janice Williams · Rating 5 out of 5]

I loved this book... the inner-workings of this family and the way the author set up the characters and their backstories was very good. The publisher's description states it "examines modern-day marriage, pregnancy, and parenthood." It's really a book about the relationships between siblings and the siblings with the parents, and how each person in a family gets locked into certain roles. I would recommend this book to fans of Elizabeth Berg (one of my favorite writers).

[Juliet · Rating 5 out of 5]

I really really liked this novel. A weekend in the life of a family on the brink of the new generation, it was sensitive, insightful, fun, traumatic, heartfelt, moving, difficult and above all an enjoyable read. I can picture myself alongside the family on their beach house. Just my kind of book.

[Francesca · Rating 3 out of 5]

Una rappresentazione realistica e attenta, intima e veritiera, di un week end tra familiari, in una piccola isola al largo del Maine. L’occasione per riunirsi è il settantacinquesimo compleanno del capo famiglia, Joe. Un omone americano silenzioso e affettuoso a modo suo, che si porta sempre dietro la sua cara amica tartaruga da terra. Poi abbiamo Ellen, sua moglie, affettuosa con i figli, soprattutto con i maschi, ma portatrice di un piccolo segreto di cuore. E poi ci sono Daniel e Brenda, coppia sfortunata, Jack e Liz, ricchi e in attesa di due gemelli, e Hilary, la sorella minore, incinta anche lei, non si sa di chi. Tra segreti e risentimenti, piccole acidità e forti dolori, perdite e speranze, il libro dipinge il quadro di una famiglia come ce ne sono tante, con le loro meschinità, le sofferenze e le piccole gioie del vivere.

[Laura · Rating 4 out of 5]

If I could, I'd choose three and a half stars for The Birthday because, though Pitlor's writing gets better as the novel progresses, it takes a while for her to find her sea legs. This is a family tale in an Anne Tyler vein, with believable characters who mistrust, misunderstand, misspeak, misstep---and who, in the end, love each other and show it.

[Courtney · Rating 4 out of 5]

This book follows a family who are reuniting to celebrate their father's birthday. All 3 children are grown, and all 3 are dealing with very different pregnancy situations. They have to try and get along with each other, while dealing with their own situations. I liked this one, although it wasn't the most uplifting of novels. The characters were very distinct and interesting.

[Vesna Micic · Rating 5 out of 5]

A truly gratifying read, one to add to the list of favourite contemporary family sagas. Thoroughly enjoyed its melancholic tone, and without overreaching for comparisons-its Chekhovian setting and direction of event that unfold over the weekend. Glad to have discovered Heidi Pitlor's talented prose, will no doubt look for her other novels!

[Vicki · Rating 1 out of 5]

Quite sad to start (for the first half actually!) Hoping it has a good lesson in the end?! Nope... not much. I didn't find much closure and I'm certainly not pleased with the book overall... oh well :(

[Suzy · Rating 1 out of 5]

I got through over half of this book and NOTHING was happening at all. I read as far as I could before I was so bored with it, that I just gave up. I have only given up in the middle of a book a couple of times, but I just could not finish this one.

[Maureen · Rating 5 out of 5]

I loved this book. I kinda felt like I was reading about my own family. Great character development and the story was fantastic.

[Diane Standish · Rating 2 out of 5]

An unfinished book, could never get into the characters. It has a lot of potential, but didn't live up to the possibilities

[Jane · Rating 3 out of 5]

Just another typical family book where they get together for a special birthday for the father Joe, together on the coast of Maine at Jake and Liz's house. The families three women (2 sisters-in-laws and one sister) are pregnant at the same time.

Jake (who is married to Liz) and Daniel (who is married to Brenda) each had their quirks and different personalities and Hilary the daughter was definitely different and didn't know who the father was.

I wasn't a big fan of this family especially Ellen and Joe, the parents and she was annoying to me. You can tell she was annoyed with him a lot especially when he brought his turtle Babe to the celebration.

The ending was not “tight” enough for me but everything can't always be black or white in an ending I guess.

This book did not have one happy thing in it. It seemed that noone really "liked" each other, both siblings and parents alike.

[Kiana · Rating 1 out of 5]

If you want a book with the worst most horny men, a book with the most useless women (except you Hilary the only saving grace my queen) then this book is for you! If you want boring mess of a family that never has ANY big blow out outside of a passive aggressive family dinner then this book is the book for you! And if you want a book that makes you ask “ma’am are you alright” because why are you describing women, men, and marriage like this? This is the book for you!!!
I hated it. Bro has never seen a pregnant lady ever, the quirky tumblr girl descriptions were KILLING me at the beginning, and the worst crime. It was boring.

[Rosmary · Rating 2 out of 5]

I was really looking forward to reading this book because of the storyline but I was disappointed. The first day was like two thirds of the book. The other two days was rushed. We were in the main characters minds of them trying to sort things out but in the end there is no resolution. I don't think they still know what to do or of what's to come. But I guess you can't expect resolutions in 3 days. And I still don't know why it was called The Birthdays. It was just the father having a birthday.

[LeAnne · Rating 3 out of 5]

I have had this on my shelf forever and finally pulled it out to take on a camping trip. It was pretty good and the character development was interesting and well-thought-out. The ending let me down, though. It was as if Pitlor was told to hurry up and finish by her editors. It just sort of...stopped suddenly.

[Leila · Rating 2 out of 5]

I kept hoping this book would have some redeeming value so I kept reading. No plot and no direction. The only reason I gave it 2 stars instead of one, is because I was curious to see what happened and nothing did.

[Melissa Golus · Rating 2 out of 5]

The chapters were way too long. It would have greatly benefited from more divisions.

Also the story just didn’t go anywhere. It was about a bunch of self absorbed brats in one family that just sniped at each other.

Nothing was resolved and I did not like that.

[Ulzar Sadosh · Rating 1 out of 5]

Didn't like it. Got to page 60 before DNFing it. Character's felt completely empty and their existence was pointless and they involved in pointless breeding - like reading about a bunch of soulless NPCs, each page frustrating to read, suffocating with irritation and banality.

[Mary C · Rating 3 out of 5]

I thought this was just an ok read for me. A family gathering with a lot of underlying issues and three pregnancies, happy and sad. I think the author just tried to push too many things into the stories too fast.

[Chris · Rating 2 out of 5]

Trying to get into the characters and were unable to care about the buildup heading into the weekend reunion. It was one I didn’t finish.

[Julie · Rating 2 out of 5]

2.5 Read for the setting ( an island in Maine), but did not empathize with any of the disfunctional characters. A grown family meets for their father's 75th anniversary, and things unravel.

[Kay · Rating 3 out of 5]

Actually 31/2. Pretty good.

[Rachel · Rating 1 out of 5]

too bad 0 stars isn’t an option…terrible book

[George M]

A family of seven, including spouses - two generations go to Great Salt Island in Maine to celebrate Dad's 75th. Lives are changed.

[Katie · Rating 4 out of 5]

Amazon recommended this book to me based on my purchase history. I was glad I read it. Pitlor told the story of the Miller family 13 parents and their three children and a couple spouses, with all three women of the younger generation being expectant mothers 13 who spend a long weekend away together to celebrate the 75th birthday of the father. All three children and the spouses have various issues and challenges in their lives, while the mother is so absorbed in her personal exploits that she overlooks what's really important among her family. It is an interesting family dynamic to explore, and the book was well written, making the reader care about characters that at times didn't seem to have any admirable traits. The best thing in this story is the father 13 a laid back but warm, loving, supportive, gentle man who puts everyone and everything in his life before himself 13 no doubt, a truly noble life to live.

[Michelle · Rating 1 out of 5]

This book had some definite bright spots - some nice writing and interesting characters, although none of the characters were particularly likeable. It was a fast read, though, despite the somewhat aggravating characters. I probably would've given this a 3 but I was really bothered by how the writer handled the "miscarriage" scene. When you're well into your third trimester, you don't just start bleeding and then have a D&C with no attempts to save the baby or even see if the heart is still beating. It was a very WTF kind of scene for me. I was so distracted by that, it was hard to finish the book.

[Amy · Rating 3 out of 5]

I enjoyed this book. I thought it really captured the dynamics of a real-life family. NO family is perfect. Each family member is very much their own individual and brings a unique dynamic to the family circle. It was interesting to see how they are interacted with one another.

Jake was so annoying. His constanct desire to impress and be acknowledged by his family was over the top. At times, I just cringed when I read about him.

I felt for Daniel. His life had been turned upside down by his accident affecting his marriage.

It was a good read.

[Cindy · Rating 2 out of 5]

I plodded my way through this book all the way to the end, hoping for closure and/or some other revelation about what the characters learned through their traumatic experiences. Unfortunately, that didn't happen and I thought the ending was a bit abrupt in terms of the storyline, though appropriate given the nature of the events happening over the course of a long weekend. As others have said, I didn't particularly like any of the characters, and so I was a bit disengaged right from the start. Not a book I would recommend to others.

[Erika · Rating 3 out of 5]

Pitlor is certainly a talented author and the simplicity of the book was engrossing. There was a lot of depth to the characters yet they were easy to relate to. The story was great with the exception of the flagrant lack of resolution at the end. The only acceptable possibility is that Ms. Pitlor is setting up a second book, which I would personally look forward to, but I do not believe that that is the case. I crave more information about these characters and their future!