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Protecting Your Child from Predators: How to Recognize and Respond to Sexual Danger
Even good parents often underestimate the dangers their children face. Research indicates that one in four females and one in six males are sexually abused before age eighteen. In most cases, the enemy is not a faceless stranger; it's someone you know and trust--a neighbor, a coach, or even a family member.
This book provides practical steps to ensure you're doing all you can to reduce the risks of abuse. But since you cannot be with your children 24/7, it goes beyond what you can do as a parent to teach you how to increase your child's own awareness and strategies in the face of potential dangers--without making them fearful.
Dr. Robinson, whose decades-long practice focuses on abused and endangered children, calls on her own case studies to show age-appropriate conversation starters for parents, teaching them how to ask the right questions and provide the right boundaries.
This book will help you move from fear to confidence on this heavy topic that is just too important to ignore.
This book provides practical steps to ensure you're doing all you can to reduce the risks of abuse. But since you cannot be with your children 24/7, it goes beyond what you can do as a parent to teach you how to increase your child's own awareness and strategies in the face of potential dangers--without making them fearful.
Dr. Robinson, whose decades-long practice focuses on abused and endangered children, calls on her own case studies to show age-appropriate conversation starters for parents, teaching them how to ask the right questions and provide the right boundaries.
This book will help you move from fear to confidence on this heavy topic that is just too important to ignore.
- GenresParenting
1 pages, Audio CD
First published August 6, 2019
11 people are currently reading
77 people want to read
About the author
Beth Robinson
23 books2 followersLibrarian Note: There is more than one author in the Goodreads database with this name.
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Displaying 1 - 21 of 21 reviews
August 26, 2019
4.5 stars
Protecting Your Child From Predators: How to Recognize and Respond to Sexual Danger is a great resource for parents concerning the subjects of sexuality, sexual abuse, and how to protect their children in this area. I found this book very informational, and I plan on referencing it in the future if I have children of my own. And even just as an older sister and someone who works with children, it’s helpful to know things to look for and be aware of.
The fact is, we live in a fallen world. Because of sin, God’s beautiful, perfect design for our sexuality and sexual intimacy is sometimes perverted in awful ways. Too often, we hear heartbreaking stories of sexual abuse and harm. Protecting Your Child From Predators takes a serious, faith-based approach and helps you understand how to talk with your young children to teenagers about sexuality, God’s good plan, and what is a safe or unsafe touch, etc.
Beth Robinson, a licensed professional counselor, and Latayne C. Scott talk about the dangers of the internet and the sexual predators who infiltrate this realm. As well as date rape and being aware of those who seek to lure young teens into sex trafficking. But they also make it clear that sexual abuse often happens where we thought there was safety … such as in church or at the hands of family members or long-time family friends.
We must not live in fear, but the authors stress that being aware and having knowledge about these things are vital. As parents, you should be taking practical steps to keep your children safe. Just talking to them and making them aware of their value as a human created in God’s image and the sacredness of their sexuality is huge! This book talks about the boundaries that children should know that “safe adults” have … and if any adult oversteps that, your child has the right to say “no!”.
Protecting Your Child from Predators is a book I would recommend highly. I feel it turns our gaze to Christ and takes a practical approach instead of filling the reader with fear. Yes, there are dangers in this world. We should do our part to protect those entrusted into our care. But then we entrust them into God’s hands and care. And know that there is healing and hope, even in the case of sexual abuse! Our Father is a great healer.
I received a copy of Protecting Your Child from Predators from Bethany House Publishers. This review is honest and all my own.
Protecting Your Child From Predators: How to Recognize and Respond to Sexual Danger is a great resource for parents concerning the subjects of sexuality, sexual abuse, and how to protect their children in this area. I found this book very informational, and I plan on referencing it in the future if I have children of my own. And even just as an older sister and someone who works with children, it’s helpful to know things to look for and be aware of.
The fact is, we live in a fallen world. Because of sin, God’s beautiful, perfect design for our sexuality and sexual intimacy is sometimes perverted in awful ways. Too often, we hear heartbreaking stories of sexual abuse and harm. Protecting Your Child From Predators takes a serious, faith-based approach and helps you understand how to talk with your young children to teenagers about sexuality, God’s good plan, and what is a safe or unsafe touch, etc.
Beth Robinson, a licensed professional counselor, and Latayne C. Scott talk about the dangers of the internet and the sexual predators who infiltrate this realm. As well as date rape and being aware of those who seek to lure young teens into sex trafficking. But they also make it clear that sexual abuse often happens where we thought there was safety … such as in church or at the hands of family members or long-time family friends.
We must not live in fear, but the authors stress that being aware and having knowledge about these things are vital. As parents, you should be taking practical steps to keep your children safe. Just talking to them and making them aware of their value as a human created in God’s image and the sacredness of their sexuality is huge! This book talks about the boundaries that children should know that “safe adults” have … and if any adult oversteps that, your child has the right to say “no!”.
Protecting Your Child from Predators is a book I would recommend highly. I feel it turns our gaze to Christ and takes a practical approach instead of filling the reader with fear. Yes, there are dangers in this world. We should do our part to protect those entrusted into our care. But then we entrust them into God’s hands and care. And know that there is healing and hope, even in the case of sexual abuse! Our Father is a great healer.
I received a copy of Protecting Your Child from Predators from Bethany House Publishers. This review is honest and all my own.
November 3, 2023
This book scared me more than anything else. Firstly, because many of the proposed strategies for ensuring your child is as safe as they can be from potential molesters or worse just are not entirely feasible for your average, working family. I'm not going to prowl around the daycare centre and insist they show me every single area covered by surveillance cameras, or call up other families who used to send their kids there. Both parties would likely tell me to fuck off if I presumed to be so obsessively paranoid.
But at the same time, the book is effective in making you think you really should consider many of these things more. There are some truly horrifying stories here, beyond sickening due to the dual unfortunate facts that they involve innocent children being subjected to the worst abuses, and that they are all true, and continue to happen around the world.
This also being written from an openly Christian angle (which I didn't realise would be the case when I chose the book, but was a pleasant surprise), it was odd to read about such sexually explicit things. The writer does not hold back in the unpleasant content, and this is appropriate enough.
On the other hand, while I would be the last to ever complain about something being "too Christian", I did feel like the writer's need to inject frequent biblical passages (the Gospels primarily) did not exactly work. Some of the connections drawn just end up seeming a bit silly. For instance, Mark 13:35 ("Therefore keep watch, because you do not know when the owner of the house will come back—whether in the evening, or at midnight, or when the rooster crows, or at dawn") is connected to the imperative for parents to keep watch on their children when they're playing at the park. As I like to respond to my wife when she says something incompressible, partly to annoy her, partly to express my own frustration: Reh?
The book could have accomplished no less without all the Bible quotes. And with them all, I don't imagine a lot of non-Christians would tolerate the book for that long - not if there are others available (which I do not doubt there are). All the same, this is an effective book, covering a very real and important topic, and the intentions of the writer are nothing short of commendable.
But at the same time, the book is effective in making you think you really should consider many of these things more. There are some truly horrifying stories here, beyond sickening due to the dual unfortunate facts that they involve innocent children being subjected to the worst abuses, and that they are all true, and continue to happen around the world.
This also being written from an openly Christian angle (which I didn't realise would be the case when I chose the book, but was a pleasant surprise), it was odd to read about such sexually explicit things. The writer does not hold back in the unpleasant content, and this is appropriate enough.
On the other hand, while I would be the last to ever complain about something being "too Christian", I did feel like the writer's need to inject frequent biblical passages (the Gospels primarily) did not exactly work. Some of the connections drawn just end up seeming a bit silly. For instance, Mark 13:35 ("Therefore keep watch, because you do not know when the owner of the house will come back—whether in the evening, or at midnight, or when the rooster crows, or at dawn") is connected to the imperative for parents to keep watch on their children when they're playing at the park. As I like to respond to my wife when she says something incompressible, partly to annoy her, partly to express my own frustration: Reh?
The book could have accomplished no less without all the Bible quotes. And with them all, I don't imagine a lot of non-Christians would tolerate the book for that long - not if there are others available (which I do not doubt there are). All the same, this is an effective book, covering a very real and important topic, and the intentions of the writer are nothing short of commendable.
October 17, 2019
Everyone from parents to pastors, teachers to teenagers needs to read this book. While written from a Christian perspective, Protecting Your Child from Predators provides everyone with solid advice for both spotting potential predators and arming children to keep themselves safe.
The authors point out that most predators don’t wear trench coats and lurk in dark allies. They don’t lure unknown children to them with candy, either. Most predators disguise themselves as trusted family members, coaches, and church volunteers. In fact, the authors point out that churches provide prime ground for predators due to lack of training and oversight of church volunteers.
According to the authors, the people you sit next to at church each week may have suffered some kind of abuse, “on average, 1 in every 4 female churchgoers has been abused in the past, and 1 in 6 of the males.” Those statistics boggle the mind.
Even more chilling is the authors’ assertion that,
“Like Satan, who “masquerades as an angel of light” (2 Corinthians 11:14). He [a predator] will charm the socks off parents. And the pants off their children.”
This could quickly turn into a fear-mongering book with example after horrifying example of exactly how predators operate. The authors avoid this by giving case studies and then practical steps for parents of each age group.
Call to Action
The book acts as a call to action for parents to beat the statistical odds of having their child abused by a predator in common situations (church, babysitter, organized sports, sleepovers, family situations, dates, etc.). The authors share research which points out that volunteers commit 50 percent of sexual abuse in the church and paid staff commit 30 percent (they don’t elaborate on the other 20 percent).
“But it doesn’t have to be this way. The past is not the future. This can stop now, and it can stop with the active involvement of parents to inform and protect their children. You can protect your child by empowering him or her to have a warrior heart.”
The authors continue the theme of having a warrior heart throughout the book. They give practical steps for both parents and children to develop their warrior hearts. The authors give brief examples of real-life situations (names changed to protect the innocent), and explain how the family handled the situation and what important lessons the readers can learn from it. They teach ‘safe tactics’ instead of employing scare tactics which leave the reader feeling helpless.
I can’t say enough about the helpfulness of this book and the authors’ no-nonsense approach to equipping our children to recognize unsafe situations and communicate their concerns to the proper adults.
Every teacher, preacher, parent, youth leader, and law-enforcement officer needs to read this book.
The authors point out that most predators don’t wear trench coats and lurk in dark allies. They don’t lure unknown children to them with candy, either. Most predators disguise themselves as trusted family members, coaches, and church volunteers. In fact, the authors point out that churches provide prime ground for predators due to lack of training and oversight of church volunteers.
According to the authors, the people you sit next to at church each week may have suffered some kind of abuse, “on average, 1 in every 4 female churchgoers has been abused in the past, and 1 in 6 of the males.” Those statistics boggle the mind.
Even more chilling is the authors’ assertion that,
“Like Satan, who “masquerades as an angel of light” (2 Corinthians 11:14). He [a predator] will charm the socks off parents. And the pants off their children.”
This could quickly turn into a fear-mongering book with example after horrifying example of exactly how predators operate. The authors avoid this by giving case studies and then practical steps for parents of each age group.
Call to Action
The book acts as a call to action for parents to beat the statistical odds of having their child abused by a predator in common situations (church, babysitter, organized sports, sleepovers, family situations, dates, etc.). The authors share research which points out that volunteers commit 50 percent of sexual abuse in the church and paid staff commit 30 percent (they don’t elaborate on the other 20 percent).
“But it doesn’t have to be this way. The past is not the future. This can stop now, and it can stop with the active involvement of parents to inform and protect their children. You can protect your child by empowering him or her to have a warrior heart.”
The authors continue the theme of having a warrior heart throughout the book. They give practical steps for both parents and children to develop their warrior hearts. The authors give brief examples of real-life situations (names changed to protect the innocent), and explain how the family handled the situation and what important lessons the readers can learn from it. They teach ‘safe tactics’ instead of employing scare tactics which leave the reader feeling helpless.
I can’t say enough about the helpfulness of this book and the authors’ no-nonsense approach to equipping our children to recognize unsafe situations and communicate their concerns to the proper adults.
Every teacher, preacher, parent, youth leader, and law-enforcement officer needs to read this book.
August 19, 2019
I recommend Protecting Your Child from Predators: How to Recognize and Respond to Sexual Danger by Beth Robinson, EdD, and Latayne C. Scott, PhD, to any caregiver.
Protecting Your Child from Predators was a surprisingly quick read. The authors presented information in a clear and concise manner. Heartbreaking stories are included for a purpose, not superfluously, but may be triggers for readers who have experienced sexual abuse.
The chapters in Protecting Your Child from Predators do not need to be read in order. However, I do recommend reading it through once as the parts about younger children lay a foundation for the chapters about older children. Because the book is meant for the reader to be able to jump into whatever chapter/topic is needed, certain information is repeated at the end of each chapter.
Although I have already taught my children most of what it recommends for their ages, the book did provide information I wasn’t aware of in the chapters on technology and regarding the common ways a child may be sexually abused by another child.
Protecting Your Child from Predators unabashedly affirms that Jesus hates abuse, especially child abuse, and that you can and should say no to evil instead being overtaken by it. I appreciated the strong stance of the authors. This healthy mindset should be a given for any Christian, but as recent headlines have revealed, sexual abuse not only occurs within churches, but the church sometimes mishandles its response. I appreciated that the book addresses situations involving the church.
This book is written for parents and caregivers who are adept at setting boundaries, being able to stand up and confront someone in the moment. Due to my past history, I really struggle to set boundaries, especially in a situation that is unexpected. I found myself sometimes wanting more examples on “how” exactly to set those boundaries. So, if you’re like me and struggle with setting boundaries in general, this book will encourage you toward that, but you may need another resource specifically on the topic of boundaries.
I give Protecting Your Child from Predators: How to Recognize and Respond to Sexual Danger by Beth Robinson, EdD, and Latayne C. Scott, PhD, 4.5 stars and I recommend it to every caregiver.
Disclosure of Material Connection: I was provided a copy of this book by the publisher. All opinions in this review are my own.
Protecting Your Child from Predators was a surprisingly quick read. The authors presented information in a clear and concise manner. Heartbreaking stories are included for a purpose, not superfluously, but may be triggers for readers who have experienced sexual abuse.
The chapters in Protecting Your Child from Predators do not need to be read in order. However, I do recommend reading it through once as the parts about younger children lay a foundation for the chapters about older children. Because the book is meant for the reader to be able to jump into whatever chapter/topic is needed, certain information is repeated at the end of each chapter.
Although I have already taught my children most of what it recommends for their ages, the book did provide information I wasn’t aware of in the chapters on technology and regarding the common ways a child may be sexually abused by another child.
Protecting Your Child from Predators unabashedly affirms that Jesus hates abuse, especially child abuse, and that you can and should say no to evil instead being overtaken by it. I appreciated the strong stance of the authors. This healthy mindset should be a given for any Christian, but as recent headlines have revealed, sexual abuse not only occurs within churches, but the church sometimes mishandles its response. I appreciated that the book addresses situations involving the church.
This book is written for parents and caregivers who are adept at setting boundaries, being able to stand up and confront someone in the moment. Due to my past history, I really struggle to set boundaries, especially in a situation that is unexpected. I found myself sometimes wanting more examples on “how” exactly to set those boundaries. So, if you’re like me and struggle with setting boundaries in general, this book will encourage you toward that, but you may need another resource specifically on the topic of boundaries.
I give Protecting Your Child from Predators: How to Recognize and Respond to Sexual Danger by Beth Robinson, EdD, and Latayne C. Scott, PhD, 4.5 stars and I recommend it to every caregiver.
Disclosure of Material Connection: I was provided a copy of this book by the publisher. All opinions in this review are my own.
December 4, 2019
The statistics and scenarios presented are sickening and sobering, and yet this book is undeniably important, especially for anyone with little or no knowledge or background on this subject. As someone who is likely more naive than I even realize, I'm thankful that Robinson has written this book to help parents (and anyone working with children) to be aware and equipped to protect our kids.
However, while it is a thorough, easy-to-understand, age-specific introduction, this book is perhaps too brief. Part of me feels more uneasy having read it, not more confident, and I think much of that is due to the content not being detailed enough, in my opinion. I wish Robinson went deeper in discussing red flags, identifying a suspected predator, psychology, tells, etc.; addressed precaution versus paranoia more specifically relating to family and close friends; provided more detailed practical examples, suggestions, scripts, etc. for talking proactively with children, especially in the younger years (the 0-5 age bracket seems very wide); and offered more specific safety guidelines, not just for institutions but also for families and individuals; etc. (At the very least, I would have appreciated a more comprehensive list of recommended resources!)
However, while it is a thorough, easy-to-understand, age-specific introduction, this book is perhaps too brief. Part of me feels more uneasy having read it, not more confident, and I think much of that is due to the content not being detailed enough, in my opinion. I wish Robinson went deeper in discussing red flags, identifying a suspected predator, psychology, tells, etc.; addressed precaution versus paranoia more specifically relating to family and close friends; provided more detailed practical examples, suggestions, scripts, etc. for talking proactively with children, especially in the younger years (the 0-5 age bracket seems very wide); and offered more specific safety guidelines, not just for institutions but also for families and individuals; etc. (At the very least, I would have appreciated a more comprehensive list of recommended resources!)
March 28, 2024
Had some helpful information. A good start, if you're just starting thinking in this category. I thought some uses of Scripture were maybe misplaced, or not helpful in some areas.
January 24, 2020
I HIGHLY recommend this book to Christian parents or any adult that works with children. It is practical and insightful, albeit a little scary and anxiety-provoking.
August 20, 2019
This is an incredible book for providing resources, insights and direction for protecting your child against predators, just as the title insists. This read is broken into three sections by age group – 5 and under, 6 to 11, and 12 and older. In each section the authors provide guidance on what your kids should know at that age, as well as examples of cases Dr. Robinson has faced from kids of that age.
The examples provided from real life predators are extremely powerful. These examples included games such as “find the candy” younger kids may place that leads to inappropriate touching, to the diligence needed in trusting your child to ANYONE’s care, including daycare, bible studies and even coaches. Throughout the reading of this book I recognized relationships peers had with those in authority that may have been inappropriately driven such as one-on-one coaching attention and school sponsored travel events.
This read certainly opened my eyes to being more aware of my own loved ones and watching out for others. In every case, the authors highlight a situation that “could happen to anyone,” these cases are terrifying enough to put you on edge, increase your attentiveness and stress the need for collecting references/background checks. Teaching your children they have control over their own body and the ability to say no to authority are paramount learning opportunities addressed in every age group within Protecting Your Child from Predators. I highly recommend any parent, educational processional or mandatory reporter pick this book up.
*Disclaimer: A review copy was provided by the publisher. All opinions are my own.
August 8, 2019
Parents, grandparents and caregivers will find a sobering yet helpful resource in Beth Robinson and Latayne Scott's book, Protecting Your Child from Predators: How to Recognize and Respond to Sexual Danger. While loads of books have been written about dealing with trauma, very few offer parents and caregivers ways to avoid the necessity of trauma healing.
The authors identify for readers the most common people and places where predators are found and how they work. The authors help readers think through and form a proactive plan for preventing abuse from happening in the first place. Authors Robinson and Scott also equip parents and caregivers with the knowledge they need to know to help their children recognize danger signs and avoid them. The book is all about good communication between parent and child, which can be uncomfortable. But isn't a little discomfort worth the prevention of childhood trauma from sexual assault and abuse? The authors help readers learn to relate to children at various ages--what and how much to share, how to prepare them, how to keep communication lines open.
This resource has been a long time in coming, and I highly recommend it for parents, grandparents, caregivers, and even church staff as they seek to partner with parents.
Note: I received a copy of this book from the publisher in exchange for this honest review. The opinions expressed are my own.
The authors identify for readers the most common people and places where predators are found and how they work. The authors help readers think through and form a proactive plan for preventing abuse from happening in the first place. Authors Robinson and Scott also equip parents and caregivers with the knowledge they need to know to help their children recognize danger signs and avoid them. The book is all about good communication between parent and child, which can be uncomfortable. But isn't a little discomfort worth the prevention of childhood trauma from sexual assault and abuse? The authors help readers learn to relate to children at various ages--what and how much to share, how to prepare them, how to keep communication lines open.
This resource has been a long time in coming, and I highly recommend it for parents, grandparents, caregivers, and even church staff as they seek to partner with parents.
Note: I received a copy of this book from the publisher in exchange for this honest review. The opinions expressed are my own.
August 31, 2019
Protecting Your Child from Predators: How to Recognize and Respond to Sexual Danger is an important and informative book by Beth Robinson, EdD, and Latayne C. Scott, PhD, about protecting your children from predators. The book talks about ways to help protect young as well as older children from sexual abuse, and the authors talk about specific situations in which children may be more vulnerable to abuse.
The book reminds parents that predators can come in the form of authority figures, family friends, strangers, and even your children’s peers. The book also addresses how technology can make children vulnerable to predators. The authors share a variety of real-life stories of families affected by predators, and these stories may help parents identify potential predators in their own lives. The book covers a wide breadth of information, including topics such as grooming, teen dating violence, and warning signs of abuse.
I received this book for review.
The book reminds parents that predators can come in the form of authority figures, family friends, strangers, and even your children’s peers. The book also addresses how technology can make children vulnerable to predators. The authors share a variety of real-life stories of families affected by predators, and these stories may help parents identify potential predators in their own lives. The book covers a wide breadth of information, including topics such as grooming, teen dating violence, and warning signs of abuse.
I received this book for review.
September 2, 2019
I received a copy of Protecting Your Child from Predators from Bethany House Publishers for my honest opinion.
This is not a book that one wants to read but rather needs to read if they are a parent. I found the information presented to be very timely and important as I am a mother three children which fit into each of the categories presented.
The book is divided into three sections based upon the age of the child so if you do not have a child younger than 6, you could skip to the later two sections to find just want you need to read. There are examples provided from Beth Robinson's years as a counselor (with names changed) and helpful advice to how to recognize those individuals presented in the scenarios. Also presented is age appropriate information to tell your children to keep them safe.
I would recommend this book to any parent who wishes to recognize and respond to the dangers of sexual predators. An important read for parents.
This is not a book that one wants to read but rather needs to read if they are a parent. I found the information presented to be very timely and important as I am a mother three children which fit into each of the categories presented.
The book is divided into three sections based upon the age of the child so if you do not have a child younger than 6, you could skip to the later two sections to find just want you need to read. There are examples provided from Beth Robinson's years as a counselor (with names changed) and helpful advice to how to recognize those individuals presented in the scenarios. Also presented is age appropriate information to tell your children to keep them safe.
I would recommend this book to any parent who wishes to recognize and respond to the dangers of sexual predators. An important read for parents.
September 11, 2019
Protecting Your Child from Predators by Beth Robinson EdD and Latayne C. Scott PhD is a new book for parents. This book was not easy to read because of the importance of this topic. The authors share from their experiences of counseling victims of sexual abuse. The topics cover all ages and are divided into age groups of advice on how to talk to your kids about these issues. This book made me more aware of the people and dangers surrounding my children. Parenting gets harder all the time because things are always changing with technology and ways that our kids can be victimized. I would highly recommend that parents or any child caregivers read this book to help protect your children from sexual abuse. Thank you to Bethany House Publishers for this review copy.
January 21, 2020
This book isn't an enjoyable read persay, but it is a necessary and important one. The book is broken down in such a way that makes an overwhelming topic feel a little less overwhelming - by age and scenario. It's the type of book I'd recommend to parents to put on their shelves and then reference back to as their kids get older. The authors provide important information, relevant and practical helps, all through a lens of hope.
May 20, 2022
This was not a pleasant read, but unfortunately necessary. I appreciate Robinson’s and Scott’s straightforward advice rooted in their experience and biblical perspectives. Fortunately their approach is aimed at equipping parents, not instilling fear, they accomplish this well.
This isn’t a topic anyone who cares about children wants to think about, but if we can be aware, vigilant, and take our responsibility to protect children seriously, we can prevent and respond appropriately to situations with grave consequences. We can be better equipped to help those who have suffered sexual abuse.
Highly recommend, but it’s heavy reading, take it slowly, and be reassured by their ending words “We can take great comfort in the fact that, with godly counseling and support, children can recover from sexual abuse…we are not alone! We have supernatural help (2 Cor 10:3-5).”
This isn’t a topic anyone who cares about children wants to think about, but if we can be aware, vigilant, and take our responsibility to protect children seriously, we can prevent and respond appropriately to situations with grave consequences. We can be better equipped to help those who have suffered sexual abuse.
Highly recommend, but it’s heavy reading, take it slowly, and be reassured by their ending words “We can take great comfort in the fact that, with godly counseling and support, children can recover from sexual abuse…we are not alone! We have supernatural help (2 Cor 10:3-5).”
September 2, 2021
Sobering and helpful
August 18, 2022
With stats of 1 in 4 children experiencing sexual trauma, this is a must read, parental guidebook for understanding and discussing age-appropriate risks in a variety of potential, yet real-life situations.
September 28, 2023
Audiobook --- Eye Opening!! (audible - free read)
October 30, 2019
How to Recognize and Respond to Sexual Danger.
"Love protects. It does not violate."
"Trust is the oil that greases the gears of abuse. Without trust, most abuse could never happen." Isn't that not an oxymoron? We think trust is what we need, when in reality most abuse happens by people we know and trust. They know how to worm their way into our families, our hearts and our children's lives and then they take advantage.
This book was eye-opening, thought-provoking and downright scary. I've always been a bit terrified of one of my children being sexually abused and this book makes me want to never let my children out of sight. I am left grappling with how to take this information and make informed, conscious decisions while also not allowing it to cripple my life to the point that I am not allowing my children to grow and develop.
One of the things that is stressed in this book is creating in your child a warrior heart, a heart that is brave, noble, and prepared, a heart that knows what is right and wrong, a heart that confides in their parents and knows they have a safe listening ear there.
The book is divided into age groups and gives a list of things that each age group should know. That was very helpful. I think my four-year-old has a basic concept of the things she should know. We have had discussions about good touch/bad touch or as this book emphasizes, safe touch/unsafe touch. But I was made aware of how important an ongoing discussion is, of how important paying attention to your child's cues is for picking up on things that are not right. I was also deeply saddened by the horror that children experience at the hands of supposedly trustworthy people. Church is listed as a very scary place, because perpetrators recognize the trust that goes on there and the ease of access to children.
But I was also encouraged by the author's assurance that with the right help and guidance, children can overcome the horrors of abuse and live a normal, healthy life. Children are resilient.
I enjoyed this book and it offers some very good, practical advice for keeping children safe. I would recommend it.
I received this book from Bethany House and was not required to write a positive review. All opinions expressed are my own.
"Love protects. It does not violate."
"Trust is the oil that greases the gears of abuse. Without trust, most abuse could never happen." Isn't that not an oxymoron? We think trust is what we need, when in reality most abuse happens by people we know and trust. They know how to worm their way into our families, our hearts and our children's lives and then they take advantage.
This book was eye-opening, thought-provoking and downright scary. I've always been a bit terrified of one of my children being sexually abused and this book makes me want to never let my children out of sight. I am left grappling with how to take this information and make informed, conscious decisions while also not allowing it to cripple my life to the point that I am not allowing my children to grow and develop.
One of the things that is stressed in this book is creating in your child a warrior heart, a heart that is brave, noble, and prepared, a heart that knows what is right and wrong, a heart that confides in their parents and knows they have a safe listening ear there.
The book is divided into age groups and gives a list of things that each age group should know. That was very helpful. I think my four-year-old has a basic concept of the things she should know. We have had discussions about good touch/bad touch or as this book emphasizes, safe touch/unsafe touch. But I was made aware of how important an ongoing discussion is, of how important paying attention to your child's cues is for picking up on things that are not right. I was also deeply saddened by the horror that children experience at the hands of supposedly trustworthy people. Church is listed as a very scary place, because perpetrators recognize the trust that goes on there and the ease of access to children.
But I was also encouraged by the author's assurance that with the right help and guidance, children can overcome the horrors of abuse and live a normal, healthy life. Children are resilient.
I enjoyed this book and it offers some very good, practical advice for keeping children safe. I would recommend it.
I received this book from Bethany House and was not required to write a positive review. All opinions expressed are my own.
August 8, 2019
[Note: This book was provided free of charge by Bethany House Books. All thoughts and opinions are my own.]
Sometimes it is worthwhile to examine a book by talking about what is not included in it. There are a wide variety of potential abuses included here, different roles where people are viewed as being potentially threatening to children, and there are a lot of roles posted here, ranging from siblings and cousins in terms of family to classmates and abusive boyfriends to babysitters or athletic coaches to staff at summer camps to even youth ministers. That said, there were at least two glaring omissions in terms of adult authority figures who are a threat to children, and that would be parents themselves and teachers. It is clear why the first is omitted--this book is aimed at parents and it would hardly make sense to attack one's own target market for a book. It is less clear why the book doesn't talk about teachers as being potentially dangerous, especially when so many other adult authority figures are included as a potential risk for children. Be that as it may, the book's message that there are no entirely safe places in this world is one to take to heart.
This particular book is a relatively short one at a bit more than 200 pages, and it is divided into three parts. After an acknowledgments section as well as an introduction to creating a warrior heart within children, there are two introductory chapters that seek to encourage parents to protect their turf and their children (1) as well as get used to having age-appropriate conversations with their children about sex (2). After that there are five chapters that seek to protect children five and under (I) that include discussions about what small children should know (3), dealing with abuse from authority figures like babysitters (4), looking at abuse by peers (5), using the cousin to discuss abuse by family members or trusted friends (6), and look at places that are vulnerable for abuse by strangers (7). This same pattern is then repeated for children between the ages of six to eleven (II) and then from twelve to adulthood (III), where the author discusses matters like abuse in private lessons (9), sleepovers (10), summer camp (11), the neighborhood (12), mission trips (15), coaches (16), abusive relationships (17), malls and other public places (18), as well as abuse through technology (13, 19). After that there is a conclusion, some recommended resources, and endnotes.
Overall, if one has to summarize this book and its intents, the book is intended as a wake up call to parents to act in ways that make it safe for children to report on what is going on in their lives and on the various threats they face. The authors make it repeatedly clear that children are vulnerable in a lot of ways and that there are no safe places where children can be absolutely protected from harm. The authors repeatedly encourage parents to raise up their children to have the heart of a warrior, to be brave and firm in saying no to unwanted sexual contact or conversation and to develop a relationship of trust with parents (this is, of course, assuming that the parents are not predators themselves) that will allow the parents to take appropriate steps in response to any worrisome information that is received without communicating to the children that they are in the wrong themselves for how others are behaving. This is a sobering book and an unpleasant book, but ultimately it is a useful book in making parents aware of the need to make their children less easy targets in rejecting secrets and in improving their own ability to communicate their own wishes as well as appreciate the efforts their parents are taking to keep them as safe as possible in a threatening world.
Sometimes it is worthwhile to examine a book by talking about what is not included in it. There are a wide variety of potential abuses included here, different roles where people are viewed as being potentially threatening to children, and there are a lot of roles posted here, ranging from siblings and cousins in terms of family to classmates and abusive boyfriends to babysitters or athletic coaches to staff at summer camps to even youth ministers. That said, there were at least two glaring omissions in terms of adult authority figures who are a threat to children, and that would be parents themselves and teachers. It is clear why the first is omitted--this book is aimed at parents and it would hardly make sense to attack one's own target market for a book. It is less clear why the book doesn't talk about teachers as being potentially dangerous, especially when so many other adult authority figures are included as a potential risk for children. Be that as it may, the book's message that there are no entirely safe places in this world is one to take to heart.
This particular book is a relatively short one at a bit more than 200 pages, and it is divided into three parts. After an acknowledgments section as well as an introduction to creating a warrior heart within children, there are two introductory chapters that seek to encourage parents to protect their turf and their children (1) as well as get used to having age-appropriate conversations with their children about sex (2). After that there are five chapters that seek to protect children five and under (I) that include discussions about what small children should know (3), dealing with abuse from authority figures like babysitters (4), looking at abuse by peers (5), using the cousin to discuss abuse by family members or trusted friends (6), and look at places that are vulnerable for abuse by strangers (7). This same pattern is then repeated for children between the ages of six to eleven (II) and then from twelve to adulthood (III), where the author discusses matters like abuse in private lessons (9), sleepovers (10), summer camp (11), the neighborhood (12), mission trips (15), coaches (16), abusive relationships (17), malls and other public places (18), as well as abuse through technology (13, 19). After that there is a conclusion, some recommended resources, and endnotes.
Overall, if one has to summarize this book and its intents, the book is intended as a wake up call to parents to act in ways that make it safe for children to report on what is going on in their lives and on the various threats they face. The authors make it repeatedly clear that children are vulnerable in a lot of ways and that there are no safe places where children can be absolutely protected from harm. The authors repeatedly encourage parents to raise up their children to have the heart of a warrior, to be brave and firm in saying no to unwanted sexual contact or conversation and to develop a relationship of trust with parents (this is, of course, assuming that the parents are not predators themselves) that will allow the parents to take appropriate steps in response to any worrisome information that is received without communicating to the children that they are in the wrong themselves for how others are behaving. This is a sobering book and an unpleasant book, but ultimately it is a useful book in making parents aware of the need to make their children less easy targets in rejecting secrets and in improving their own ability to communicate their own wishes as well as appreciate the efforts their parents are taking to keep them as safe as possible in a threatening world.
August 26, 2019
I thought the premise and set up of this book was good, but failed in the execution.
The great things about this book:
It was set up well, by age level. It was clear and easy to understand without using a ton of big words or babbling.
The poor side of it was that it was quite fear laden. I would be the first one to tell you that we need more info for parents on how to protect their children from predators. But I felt this book did a poor job of that. It instead let you know that they are everywhere. (Truth), but gave very few stats on how these things they recommended you do to protect your children actually work. Instead, there was a underlying tone of blame that I felt.
One huge issue was an encouragement for isolation, from those that were in foster care, family members, church members, to almost a paranoid level, never hiring teenage babysitters, avoiding sports coaches, making sure you are always in the room with doctors and so on.
It did have some good info on educating your child to be empowered and to be their own warrior. I liked that part. This was really good. But the key element faltered in that parents cannot prevent child abuse. We can educate, protect and seek to put safety guidelines in place, but in the end, it is not us that protect. In fact, isolation has been one of the keys that sex offenders look for and take advantage of.
I wanted to like this book, I really did. It is a great need in our society. I would recommend Jimmy Hinton's articles over this book though.
I obtained this book from the publisher. The opinions contained herein are my own.
The great things about this book:
It was set up well, by age level. It was clear and easy to understand without using a ton of big words or babbling.
The poor side of it was that it was quite fear laden. I would be the first one to tell you that we need more info for parents on how to protect their children from predators. But I felt this book did a poor job of that. It instead let you know that they are everywhere. (Truth), but gave very few stats on how these things they recommended you do to protect your children actually work. Instead, there was a underlying tone of blame that I felt.
One huge issue was an encouragement for isolation, from those that were in foster care, family members, church members, to almost a paranoid level, never hiring teenage babysitters, avoiding sports coaches, making sure you are always in the room with doctors and so on.
It did have some good info on educating your child to be empowered and to be their own warrior. I liked that part. This was really good. But the key element faltered in that parents cannot prevent child abuse. We can educate, protect and seek to put safety guidelines in place, but in the end, it is not us that protect. In fact, isolation has been one of the keys that sex offenders look for and take advantage of.
I wanted to like this book, I really did. It is a great need in our society. I would recommend Jimmy Hinton's articles over this book though.
I obtained this book from the publisher. The opinions contained herein are my own.
May 30, 2023
4.5. This may be the most difficult book I have ever read. It is excellently written, immensely helpful, and incredibly wise. The stories shared are hard to read, I cried at several points. Still, I am very thankful for this book, and how it will help me care for my kids. Wish I had read this back when I first became a pastor. Highly recommend, but be prepared for a very difficult time hearing these stories.
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