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How to Properly Dispose of Planet Earth
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Expected 11 Feb 30Happy Conklin Jr. is still the only 10-year-old who has to shave three times a day, thanks to being tested on by his inventor father. And it's safe to say Hap is the only 10-year-old who accidentally sold his entire family to aliens. The good news is that Hap managed to save his family--including his tyrannical Grandma--but now the Conklins face a problem that might put the whole world in danger . . .
Hap wants a girl in his sixth-grade science class to be his lab partner but lacks the courage to even talk to her. Through the mysterious powers of Squeep! the lizard, he finds a way to overcome this fear but also, unfortunately, opens a black hole in his middle school that will swallow the solar system unless he's able to stop it. In his race against time to save everything , he's helped by his sister Kayla, greatly hindered by his sister Alice, and uncovers the truth about Grandma's plan to take over the Galaxy.
Hap wants a girl in his sixth-grade science class to be his lab partner but lacks the courage to even talk to her. Through the mysterious powers of Squeep! the lizard, he finds a way to overcome this fear but also, unfortunately, opens a black hole in his middle school that will swallow the solar system unless he's able to stop it. In his race against time to save everything , he's helped by his sister Kayla, greatly hindered by his sister Alice, and uncovers the truth about Grandma's plan to take over the Galaxy.
- GenresMiddle Grade
208 pages, Paperback
First published January 15, 2019
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33 people want to read
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Displaying 1 - 9 of 9 reviews
December 16, 2018
#kidlitexchange #partner - Thanks to @kidlitexchange and @bloomsburypublishing for the ARC of author & cartoonist @paulnoth ‘s HOW TO PROPERLY DISPOSE OF PLANET EARTH 🌎All opinions are mine and therefore brilliant. 🦎
If you thought YOU lacked game... Eleven-year-old Happy Conklin (has a full beard thanks to his mad scientist dad) just wants to stop time so he can come up with a cool comeback when crush Nev Everly talks to him. 🌍 🦎
Too bad his pet lizard Squeep! has access to a black hole that swallows his school. Or maybe the whole solar system. Honestly, who can keep track? 🌏 🦎
Happy tries to decipher Squeep!’s nacho-chip-and-Easter-egg cipher warnings, but instead winds up in intergalactic prison and needs to negotiate with his nefarious Grandma to save the Earth. 🌏 🦎
Give to: A boy reader whose palate is broader than sports; kids who like adventure stories that are quick reads with easy-to-understand worldbuilding. Themes of being scared to talk to your crush, annoyed by your siblings, and Noth’s general humorous weirdness will have broader appeal. 🌍 🦎
Had I read prequel HOW TO SELL YOUR FAMILY TO THE ALIENS (sorry kids, not an actual manual) I'd have had an easier time following along toward the end, and this would have had five stars. It’s clear returning characters like Ack the alien, goateed lizard Florida Pete, and the imaginary clairvoyant bee have more backstory. 🌎
🦎
If you thought YOU lacked game... Eleven-year-old Happy Conklin (has a full beard thanks to his mad scientist dad) just wants to stop time so he can come up with a cool comeback when crush Nev Everly talks to him. 🌍 🦎
Too bad his pet lizard Squeep! has access to a black hole that swallows his school. Or maybe the whole solar system. Honestly, who can keep track? 🌏 🦎
Happy tries to decipher Squeep!’s nacho-chip-and-Easter-egg cipher warnings, but instead winds up in intergalactic prison and needs to negotiate with his nefarious Grandma to save the Earth. 🌏 🦎
Give to: A boy reader whose palate is broader than sports; kids who like adventure stories that are quick reads with easy-to-understand worldbuilding. Themes of being scared to talk to your crush, annoyed by your siblings, and Noth’s general humorous weirdness will have broader appeal. 🌍 🦎
Had I read prequel HOW TO SELL YOUR FAMILY TO THE ALIENS (sorry kids, not an actual manual) I'd have had an easier time following along toward the end, and this would have had five stars. It’s clear returning characters like Ack the alien, goateed lizard Florida Pete, and the imaginary clairvoyant bee have more backstory. 🌎
🦎
November 17, 2018
Thanks to the @kidlitexchange network for the review copy of this book -- all opinions are my own.
Happy Conklin Jr is a pretty unique ten-year-old. He has a full grown beard that he shaves around three times a day (one of the side effects of being experimented on by your invent and is probably the only kid to have accidentally sold his family to aliens. In the first book in this series, Hap managed to save his family from the aliens, but now the entire world as we know it is in danger. Hap somehow manages to open a black hole right in his school. It’s his job to make sure that it doesn’t destroy Earth. He gets some help from his “pet” lizard, Squeep!, and his sister, Kayla. His other sister, Alice, though goes into one of her manic states and stands in Hap’s way of saving the world. As he races to save the world, he uncovers his evil grandma’s plot to take over the galaxy.
This is a fun, quirky, and quick-paced middle grades novel. Hap has to deal with all the social anxieties of a normal 6th grader and then some. The story is interesting and fun and grabs the reader from page one. Not only did @paulnoth write a delightful story, but he also illustrated it. The illustrations add depth, humor, and greater understanding as they give us a window into Happy’s mind and thinking. The characters are well developed and pop off the page. My favorite character, other than Hap, is by far Squeep!. He’s unique, mysterious, and always popping in and out at the oddest moments, which results in some hilarious moments. Themes addressed in the book include fitting in, family, and doing the right thing. This is a terrific book for middle grade readers who enjoy humor.
Happy Conklin Jr is a pretty unique ten-year-old. He has a full grown beard that he shaves around three times a day (one of the side effects of being experimented on by your invent and is probably the only kid to have accidentally sold his family to aliens. In the first book in this series, Hap managed to save his family from the aliens, but now the entire world as we know it is in danger. Hap somehow manages to open a black hole right in his school. It’s his job to make sure that it doesn’t destroy Earth. He gets some help from his “pet” lizard, Squeep!, and his sister, Kayla. His other sister, Alice, though goes into one of her manic states and stands in Hap’s way of saving the world. As he races to save the world, he uncovers his evil grandma’s plot to take over the galaxy.
This is a fun, quirky, and quick-paced middle grades novel. Hap has to deal with all the social anxieties of a normal 6th grader and then some. The story is interesting and fun and grabs the reader from page one. Not only did @paulnoth write a delightful story, but he also illustrated it. The illustrations add depth, humor, and greater understanding as they give us a window into Happy’s mind and thinking. The characters are well developed and pop off the page. My favorite character, other than Hap, is by far Squeep!. He’s unique, mysterious, and always popping in and out at the oddest moments, which results in some hilarious moments. Themes addressed in the book include fitting in, family, and doing the right thing. This is a terrific book for middle grade readers who enjoy humor.
July 15, 2020
Absurd, Surreal, Fascinating
Most middle grade sci-fi books are earnest and fairly predictable, even those that lean heavily on fantasy and the implausible. This book, though, heads in an entirely different direction, opting for an almost Dada approach to telling its story. The book isn't "wacky" or farty or silly in the usual sense. Rather, it is stone cold committed to humor, whimsy, nonsense, spontaneity, and irrationalism - the touchstones of true Dada. I dug it.
There is no point in trying to summarize the plot, especially since this is the middle book in the series and starts off with no real summary or preamble. We begin with a middle school hero who has to shave three times a day, a multiverse hopping lizard, a megalomaniacal grandmother, a ninja psychic sister, a ruthless klepto evil sister, black holes, time travel, a father whose inventions are banned throughout the universe, a big cast of secondary characters, and aliens shaped like Easter Island statues. Rev that up to twice the speed of the usual middle grade book. Add slamming doors, hidden identities, and the pace of a French farce. It all comes together to make no sense and absolutely perfect sense.
All of that said, though, it seems fair to observe that the audience for this book probably requires readers who are very tolerant of ambiguity and are willing to be patient as plot points and twists become clear. The tale doesn't always proceed in a strictly linear fashion, and none of that is helped by the fact that our hero, Hap, often starts out a scene in the dark about what's happening exactly. There are a lot of cryptic conversations, and maybe too much "I'll explain it all later when we have more time", and that can be frustrating for younger readers, including me. On the other hand, the book has enough rewards and great moments that it's probably worth a try by most any youngster who likes sci-fi adventure, or who has a taste for kid friendly bizarro lit.
(Please note that I received a free ecopy of this book without a review requirement, or any influence regarding review content should I choose to post a review. Apart from that I have no connection at all to either the author or the publisher of this book.)
Most middle grade sci-fi books are earnest and fairly predictable, even those that lean heavily on fantasy and the implausible. This book, though, heads in an entirely different direction, opting for an almost Dada approach to telling its story. The book isn't "wacky" or farty or silly in the usual sense. Rather, it is stone cold committed to humor, whimsy, nonsense, spontaneity, and irrationalism - the touchstones of true Dada. I dug it.
There is no point in trying to summarize the plot, especially since this is the middle book in the series and starts off with no real summary or preamble. We begin with a middle school hero who has to shave three times a day, a multiverse hopping lizard, a megalomaniacal grandmother, a ninja psychic sister, a ruthless klepto evil sister, black holes, time travel, a father whose inventions are banned throughout the universe, a big cast of secondary characters, and aliens shaped like Easter Island statues. Rev that up to twice the speed of the usual middle grade book. Add slamming doors, hidden identities, and the pace of a French farce. It all comes together to make no sense and absolutely perfect sense.
All of that said, though, it seems fair to observe that the audience for this book probably requires readers who are very tolerant of ambiguity and are willing to be patient as plot points and twists become clear. The tale doesn't always proceed in a strictly linear fashion, and none of that is helped by the fact that our hero, Hap, often starts out a scene in the dark about what's happening exactly. There are a lot of cryptic conversations, and maybe too much "I'll explain it all later when we have more time", and that can be frustrating for younger readers, including me. On the other hand, the book has enough rewards and great moments that it's probably worth a try by most any youngster who likes sci-fi adventure, or who has a taste for kid friendly bizarro lit.
(Please note that I received a free ecopy of this book without a review requirement, or any influence regarding review content should I choose to post a review. Apart from that I have no connection at all to either the author or the publisher of this book.)
July 22, 2024
I jumped into this book not realizing that it was a part of a series. The school I work at was giving away books that children didn't pick up during the pandemic and I can't resist a free book. Despite not having a clue what happened before, it was a really good read. I found myself wanting to go back in the series to see what I missed but also wanting to go forward because the story is getting good. Get it for your young person and see if they enjoy it as much as I did. Pro Tip: Read it with them & have discussions.
January 25, 2019
Such a creative story! So refreshing in the age of lots low level middle- grade options. Such a great read! My son and I read it together and enjoyed each chapter. It’s a wonderful follow up to the first book too! Highly recommend!
January 22, 2019
Another quick and enjoyable read from Noth! These books are so silly, but I find myself enjoying the antics. I know my students will eat up this story, and I am looking forward to the next one.
December 2, 2018
"How to Properly Dispose of Planet Earth" is the middle-school fantasy sequel to "How to Sell Your Family to the Aliens". I didn't realize that this book was a sequel when I began. I probably wouldn't have read this book or I would have gone back to read "How to Sell Your Family to the Aliens". I found this book to be very confusing haven't not read the first book.
This is the story of Happy Conklin Jr. and his family, some of who are bent on world domination. His grandmother is at large after trying to rule the universe. His grandmother is the hero of his sister Alice, who is an evil villain wannabe, who created a black hole, and is determined to go back to it. His sister Kayla, is able to see into the future and it's multiverse, with some limitations. Happy also has a pet lizard called Squeep! who is traveling back to the black hole, even though they believed that portal had been destroyed. Happy and Kayla work together to foil Alice, try to figure out what Squeep! is doing, and prevent general destruction of Planet Earth.
I did not care for this story because it was so complicated and I didn't think the characters were well developed. It focused more on traveling to another dimension, Kayla's abilities, and other "action" that who the characters were and why they acted the way they did. Happy's parents are uninterested and dismissive of Happy's problems and his sister Alice is a cruel villain who even the teachers are afraid to cross. I think it was supposed to be funny and a little sarcastic, but to me it came off as creepy and I think it might be a little scary to kids.
Thank you to NetGalley for my complimentary copy in return for my honest opinion.
This is the story of Happy Conklin Jr. and his family, some of who are bent on world domination. His grandmother is at large after trying to rule the universe. His grandmother is the hero of his sister Alice, who is an evil villain wannabe, who created a black hole, and is determined to go back to it. His sister Kayla, is able to see into the future and it's multiverse, with some limitations. Happy also has a pet lizard called Squeep! who is traveling back to the black hole, even though they believed that portal had been destroyed. Happy and Kayla work together to foil Alice, try to figure out what Squeep! is doing, and prevent general destruction of Planet Earth.
I did not care for this story because it was so complicated and I didn't think the characters were well developed. It focused more on traveling to another dimension, Kayla's abilities, and other "action" that who the characters were and why they acted the way they did. Happy's parents are uninterested and dismissive of Happy's problems and his sister Alice is a cruel villain who even the teachers are afraid to cross. I think it was supposed to be funny and a little sarcastic, but to me it came off as creepy and I think it might be a little scary to kids.
Thank you to NetGalley for my complimentary copy in return for my honest opinion.
January 1, 2019
Thanks to NetGalley and this Bloomsbury for allowing an advanced look at this book.
Hap Conklin is an imaginative student who completes his lessons and takes them a step beyond.
Disappointed at the turn it story takes when grandma disciplines the emperor, I would suggest this mode of punishment be changed.
Hap Conklin is an imaginative student who completes his lessons and takes them a step beyond.
Disappointed at the turn it story takes when grandma disciplines the emperor, I would suggest this mode of punishment be changed.
January 19, 2019
How to Properly Dispose of Planet Earth by Paul Noth is an enjoyable book about 11-year-old Happy "Hap" Conklin navigating the ups and downs of middle school, while saving Earth from destruction. When Hap accidentally opens up a black hole from our world to another, he and his sister must find a way to prevent Earth from being sucked into it. But when Hap is transported through the black hole and lands in a different, futuristic world, he finds out that his Grandma has been hiding out and is plotting to take over the galaxy.
The book is a sequel to How to Sell Your Family to the Aliens, which I didn't read, but I just went with it. If I had read the previous book, it may have helped me understand the characters a little better. The entertaining illustrations, also by Paul Noth, help tell the story which readers should enjoy.
All in all, I think this book was good. There is a lot of humor, action and suspense, but just when things get really interesting, it ends with a dissatisfying cliffhanger. I will be interested in reading the next book to see how things pan out! I would recommend this series to grades 3-5 and to fans Stick Dog by Tom Watson or Timmy Failure by Stephan Pastis.
Thank you to NetGalley and Bloomsbury Children’s Books for this E-ARC. Opinions are entirely my own.
The book is a sequel to How to Sell Your Family to the Aliens, which I didn't read, but I just went with it. If I had read the previous book, it may have helped me understand the characters a little better. The entertaining illustrations, also by Paul Noth, help tell the story which readers should enjoy.
All in all, I think this book was good. There is a lot of humor, action and suspense, but just when things get really interesting, it ends with a dissatisfying cliffhanger. I will be interested in reading the next book to see how things pan out! I would recommend this series to grades 3-5 and to fans Stick Dog by Tom Watson or Timmy Failure by Stephan Pastis.
Thank you to NetGalley and Bloomsbury Children’s Books for this E-ARC. Opinions are entirely my own.
Displaying 1 - 9 of 9 reviews