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No More Poems!: A Book in Verse That Just Gets Worse
Acclaimed singer-songwriter Rhett Miller teams up with Caldecott Medalist and bestselling artist Dan Santat in a riotous collection of irreverent poems for modern families. In the tradition of Shel Silverstein, these poems bring a fresh new twist to the classic dilemmas of childhood as well as a perceptive eye to the foibles of modern family life. Full of clever wordplay and bright visual gags--and toilet humor to spare--these twenty-three rhyming poems make for an ideal read-aloud experience. Taking on the subjects of a bullying baseball coach and annoying little brothers with equally sly humor, renowned lyricist Rhett Miller's clever verses will have the whole family cackling.
48 pages, Kindle Edition
First published March 5, 2019
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 146 reviews
May 2, 2019
Make note: all 1 star reviews happened over the course of 1-3 days. Seems like a sabotage attempt. If you have a sense of humor you’ll love this book.
This book is so much fun! We were lucky enough to have him come to our kids elementary school for an author visit (kinder to third grade). He was a huge hit! Since then my son has had his nose stuck in the book. Some of my son’s favorite poems are “Purple Pox” and “Hairs”. We laugh reading “This Bathtub’s Too Small” and “Disco Bath Party”. My personal favorites are “Device” and “Weirdos of the World Unite”. “I Will Not Go To Bed” and “3:00 AM Pee” are incredibly poignant and go strait to my heart. All-in-all, my son and I connect with each of these poems in one way or another so I’m grateful we get to finish the book with the final poem, “No More Poems”. If you have a good sense of humor you’ll love this book!
This book is so much fun! We were lucky enough to have him come to our kids elementary school for an author visit (kinder to third grade). He was a huge hit! Since then my son has had his nose stuck in the book. Some of my son’s favorite poems are “Purple Pox” and “Hairs”. We laugh reading “This Bathtub’s Too Small” and “Disco Bath Party”. My personal favorites are “Device” and “Weirdos of the World Unite”. “I Will Not Go To Bed” and “3:00 AM Pee” are incredibly poignant and go strait to my heart. All-in-all, my son and I connect with each of these poems in one way or another so I’m grateful we get to finish the book with the final poem, “No More Poems”. If you have a good sense of humor you’ll love this book!
April 29, 2019
This is an adult book! This doesn’t even deserve one star because it’s targeted towards children and should be targeted to adults. There is a poem in this book called, “Brotherly Love.” The first line is, “ Please don’t push your brother out the window. I know he’s asking for it. I’m quite aware of this. But if you push your brother out the window he’ll go splat...” The next paragraph is, “ please don’t drown your brother in the bathtub....” All of the paragraphs after this talk about ways a child can kill his brother. This is horrific, Especially for children who who are very literal. This child’s poem literally made me sick to my stomach. Perhaps if it was written for adults and illustrated for adults but I don’t know. I do know that this should NOT BE ON ANY CHILD’S SHELF
April 29, 2019
Disturbing, inappropriate, and utterly disgusting. Rather than offer ways for young children to learn empathy and understanding, much of this acts as a quite explicit "how-to" for violent, grotesque, horrific behavior.
April 29, 2019
I was excited to buy this book for my kids as a fun introduction to poetry. I bought it at Costco (usually reliable) and it already had a lot of celebrity hype (sounds fun! ) My boys LOVE Dan Santat's art, so i saw it as a great opportunity.
I was SORELY disappointed. There is literally a poem about a little girl killing her toddler sibling in multiple ways. Not ok.
Poems about poop? Questionable, but honestly I'm a pretty lax mom about bathroom talk, and I'm willing to go pretty far to make reading fun.
I was SORELY disappointed. There is literally a poem about a little girl killing her toddler sibling in multiple ways. Not ok.
Poems about poop? Questionable, but honestly I'm a pretty lax mom about bathroom talk, and I'm willing to go pretty far to make reading fun.
October 1, 2019
Goofy poem book with fun illustrations. Most of the poems are rude or gross and they're all offbeat and I think a certain type of kid will love them. Any humorless troll with no capacity to identify with children who seriously thinks their kid will get ideas on how to kill their siblings by reading the "Brotherly Love" poem should get their little children of the corn (or, actually, themselves) to therapy ASAP.
March 24, 2019
Santat’s artwork was cool, but the tweens portrayed in the poems were obnoxious and rude. Nope.
October 5, 2019
This book falls into the "What were they thinking?!" category. You can't just add a few bathroom and fart jokes to a book of poems and say it's for kids...especially when the rest of the subject matter is wildly inappropriate for children (or anyone, in some cases).
I'm talking mainly about a poem called "Brotherly Love". It looks like most of the reviewers who had a problem with this book were just as horrified as I was. It is not funny to suggest myriad gruesome ways for a little girl to murder her sibling. Pushing him out the window (so he goes "splat"), drowning him, dousing him in gasoline and setting him on fire, and tying him to railroad tracks are all mentioned. Even worse? The parent narrator isn't telling their child not to do these things because they're horrific and wrong; they're telling the child not to do these things because the parent would go to jail. That's one messed-up family right there... and if a child's family is like that, then they need immediate help. What they don't need is to see their dysfunction reinforced in a children's book.
Other poems like "My Device" sort of suggest that some of these poems weren't written for kids in the first place. (That particular poem makes mention of visiting Mom's house with a birthday cake, as if the narrator is already grown up and has moved out.) Others are definitely for kids, but they often involve peeing or farting (yes, kids think farts are funny... but they will laugh at other things, too; let's be a little more creative, shall we?). Some poems like "Weirdos of the World Unite!" and "My Twin" seem to encourage judgment and name-calling. "How to Play Baseball" makes light of verbal abuse. The only poem I sort of like is "My Secret Karate", but it's the first poem; it's all downhill from there. On the bright side, I guess this book lives up to its subtitle.
I would definitely not recommend this to young children. Their thinking is still too literal to get much out of many of these poems. And I wouldn't recommend "Brotherly Love" to anybody. Gruesome child murder is never funny, no matter how old you are (and if you think suggesting dousing a young child in gasoline and setting them on fire is funny... well, I don't really know what to say to that).
Dan Santat's talents are wasted here. I can't even bring myself to like many of the illustrations because of what they're accompanying. For a better book with a good example of his artwork, go check out Minh Lê's Drawn Together . It's about a much healthier family relationship.
I'm talking mainly about a poem called "Brotherly Love". It looks like most of the reviewers who had a problem with this book were just as horrified as I was. It is not funny to suggest myriad gruesome ways for a little girl to murder her sibling. Pushing him out the window (so he goes "splat"), drowning him, dousing him in gasoline and setting him on fire, and tying him to railroad tracks are all mentioned. Even worse? The parent narrator isn't telling their child not to do these things because they're horrific and wrong; they're telling the child not to do these things because the parent would go to jail. That's one messed-up family right there... and if a child's family is like that, then they need immediate help. What they don't need is to see their dysfunction reinforced in a children's book.
Other poems like "My Device" sort of suggest that some of these poems weren't written for kids in the first place. (That particular poem makes mention of visiting Mom's house with a birthday cake, as if the narrator is already grown up and has moved out.) Others are definitely for kids, but they often involve peeing or farting (yes, kids think farts are funny... but they will laugh at other things, too; let's be a little more creative, shall we?). Some poems like "Weirdos of the World Unite!" and "My Twin" seem to encourage judgment and name-calling. "How to Play Baseball" makes light of verbal abuse. The only poem I sort of like is "My Secret Karate", but it's the first poem; it's all downhill from there. On the bright side, I guess this book lives up to its subtitle.
I would definitely not recommend this to young children. Their thinking is still too literal to get much out of many of these poems. And I wouldn't recommend "Brotherly Love" to anybody. Gruesome child murder is never funny, no matter how old you are (and if you think suggesting dousing a young child in gasoline and setting them on fire is funny... well, I don't really know what to say to that).
Dan Santat's talents are wasted here. I can't even bring myself to like many of the illustrations because of what they're accompanying. For a better book with a good example of his artwork, go check out Minh Lê's Drawn Together . It's about a much healthier family relationship.
April 30, 2019
Avoid!!!! Highly inappropriate and disturbing. There's enough negative $#*! out there for kids. Do we really need poems detailing how to drown and suffocate and smother babies? It's not funny and it's not cute. I'm over here trying my best to lift my children through literature. A little help please? Shame on Rhett Miller. What a sad waste of paper and ink. One star since I can't give it none.
May 2, 2019
Fun! I'd say older kids will vibe with the ridiculous/gross/dark silliness. I'm seeing a lot of negative feedback for this book and I immediately think of how controversial Shel Silverstein's poems were but how kids ate them right up.
May 3, 2019
Singer and songwritter Rhett Miller has formed this collection of hilarious poems that are sure to make anyone laugh. Hitting on both family issues and modern issues, middle school students are sure to laugh at the hilarity that ensues. These poems trepass into the territory of toliet humor more often than not, but structurely, these poems are sound models for teaching middle school students on how to harness their voice in writing.
Middle school students love to be entertained, and by using a book like this as a model text, you are sure to get some laughs and have all eyes on you. Making middle schools care about schoolwork can be a difficult task, but when you model texts are this fun, it makes a teacher's job easier.
Using No More Poems! as a model text, students can use Gallagher's My Favorite Mistake as a starting point. Students can choose a hilarious mistake they made, and write a poem intune to the rhythm, patterns, and humor found in No More Poems!
Middle school students love to be entertained, and by using a book like this as a model text, you are sure to get some laughs and have all eyes on you. Making middle schools care about schoolwork can be a difficult task, but when you model texts are this fun, it makes a teacher's job easier.
Using No More Poems! as a model text, students can use Gallagher's My Favorite Mistake as a starting point. Students can choose a hilarious mistake they made, and write a poem intune to the rhythm, patterns, and humor found in No More Poems!
November 11, 2019
Don’t underestimate children! Remember the humor of Ronald Dahl, where children were sucked into chocolate milk tubes and were squeezed of their juices? Kids know when a piece of literature is funny. And kids instinctively enjoy dark humor...maybe don’t assume this book is for toddlers, and give credit to the author and artist, who promote poetry that is accessible, silly, and refreshing.
April 30, 2019
I won’t speak for the rest of the poems however the poem “Brotherly Love” should not be in a children’s book of poems. It is very dark, violent, and sadistic. I would be appalled if one of my young children read it....
May 2, 2019
There's been some controversy about one of the poems in this collection, "Brotherly Love." I've got to admit that I think it's a riot, but I love it as an adult. I do think it's not quite the poem to be included in a book of poetry for kids from 7 to 10, and I'm really surprised that the editor didn't think about all the parents (and teachers) that might potentially be up in arms about a poem that tells some pretty descriptive ways to kill your sibling....smothering with a pillow, dousing with gasoline, drowning by dunking three times...
All the poems are really funny. He borrows freely from Shel Silverstein, at least two of his poems are direct knock-offs - which I enjoy a lot. We all have mentor texts from which we write."The Bathtub's Too Small" is a longer retelling of Silverstein's "Crowded Tub" and "My Homework" is definitely a reworking of Silverstein's "Sick." Great fun.
Of the 23 poems, only a couple have a rhythm that doesn't quite work for me. All in all, they're funny, well-written, clever, and just plain fun!
All the poems are really funny. He borrows freely from Shel Silverstein, at least two of his poems are direct knock-offs - which I enjoy a lot. We all have mentor texts from which we write."The Bathtub's Too Small" is a longer retelling of Silverstein's "Crowded Tub" and "My Homework" is definitely a reworking of Silverstein's "Sick." Great fun.
Of the 23 poems, only a couple have a rhythm that doesn't quite work for me. All in all, they're funny, well-written, clever, and just plain fun!
April 21, 2019
I believe that this book is phenomenal. From the beginning when i was drawn to the colors of the cover, my mind got so excited i saw the word "poem" and in a kids book! From the singing blue haired dad , pink haired sister and the irritated brother i was smiling instantly laughing in my mind. I mean sometimes in life you have to make it interesting. I have a song to get up in the morning with my kids. Mainly my daughter. My first poem i went to was my device. My heart raced reading line by line. This took me by surprise . The mixture of every piece is so brilliantly put together. I love it. I can so relate to this book. And the illustrations are awesome. Even if you take off the cover[if hard copy] the pic in the front goes with the back. I cannot wait to share this to my kids. Poetry is great for the mind and the soul. This shows me someone out there is real. The power that this book has. Thank you Rhett Miller and Dan Santat. Great great job.
April 18, 2019
Hard to rate a book like this. My daughter found some of these poems hilarious. Others (especially some of the more violent or gross) ones she was not a fan of. For the poem Purple Pox (which my daughter read repeatedly) 5 stars, but Brotherly Love she found disturbing.
April 25, 2019
The book In My opinion is more of adult humor then for children, some are funny & some are a little dark ”a book in verse that just gets worse” makes sense to why it’s a little dark but overall I got a good laugh in with my co workers,
March 18, 2019
I read one of these poems ("Purple Pox") to two first grade classes, and both times they yelled, "Read another one!!"
March 27, 2019
Filled with such cute poems similar to Shel Silverstein.
March 31, 2019
Poetry for kids - big and small!
April 3, 2019
Dan Santat is a treasure! His art combined with the charming and cheeky poems by Rhett Miller make for an enjoyable read that I will definitely recommend to poetry seekers.
April 18, 2019
Ben laughed himself silly reading these.
April 18, 2019
This is a very entertaining book of silly, gross, and weird poems for kids. Fantastic book!
April 21, 2019
Kids will get a kick out of the poems. Excellent illustrations by Dan Dantat!
April 22, 2019
Some of them were really cute poems! Picked this up to read because we love Dan Santat's illustrations.
June 2, 2019
This book of poetry was only published because Rhett Miller is a celebrity. We can’t all be Shell Silverstein.
January 6, 2020
Most poems were hilarious, but a few went too far and were cringe worthy.
November 20, 2019
I think this book is very interesting and gives traditional poems a different perspective. I would use this book in classroom to show students the various ways of writing poetry.
November 18, 2019
3.5, liked some poems more than others.
2020 Tx Bluebonnet
2020 Tx Bluebonnet
April 20, 2023
Five stars for Dan Santat’s awesome illustrations (as always) and two stars for the Kung Poo joke which we will now forever use. The rest…I’m not a fan of calling people dumb or stupid or a slob or detailing ways to kill or maim a younger sibling, so it’s definitely not for me. 🤷♀️
November 6, 2019
I love Dan Santat's work. So I really wanted to love this book of poems. I did enjoy Dan's illustrations. And I did love a few of the poems. But some of them made me cringe. In fact, I would say that the poems at the end were better than the poems at the beginning... so I don't agree that it just gets worse. I liked My Secret Karate and My Homework and I empathized with Hello My Name Is. And I truly did love I'm Not Hungry Anymore. But not Brotherly Love. No love from me for that poem. So - a mixed bag. I can see that it will appeal to some but it crossed a few lines for me.
Displaying 1 - 30 of 146 reviews