Covert Narcissism: Signs of a Covert Narcissist, Ways to Protect Yourself from Their Manipulation and How to Deal with Their Narcissism

by Louisa Cox, Escape The Narcissist (Editor)

Covert narcissism is a hidden and concealed form of narcissism, making it all the more difficult for the abuser to be confronted or 'outed' for their behavior. Covert narcissism is a passive-aggressive, hostile and toxic form of abuse that makes victims feel hopeless, unheard, hurt and confused by the abusers behavior.

When you think of a narcissistic personality, it's likely you think of a loud, grandiose and 'look at me' type of character. A lot of people don't realize that there is a much stealthier, more introverted form of narcissism, and therefore covert narcissists can often get away with their toxic behavior without being found out.

I was in a relationship with a covert narcissist. I know the frustration, disappointment, anger and humiliation a covert narc can make you feel. I understand the helplessness you feel when you're in a relationship that has such an invisible toxicity that you think no one would believe you if you told them about it.

This book, driven by my desire to help and connect with other victims of narcissistic abuse, aims to give you the knowledge you need to stand up to covert narcissistic abuse. The chapters include:

- What is a Covert Narcissist? The Six Giveaway Signs of a Covert Narcissist

- Can a Covert Narcissist Love?

- Confusing Conversations With a Covert Narcissist

- The Effects Covert Narcissism Has on You

- Setting Boundaries and Interacting With a Covert Narcissist

- Looking After You - Ways to Leave a Vulnerable Narcissist

I've been through a decade of narcissism and abuse, and I strive to support those who are / have been through this kind of emotional abuse. I hope this book can someway in helping you understand the dynamics of a narcissistic relationship, but most of all, I hope it helps you find the strength to relinquish your role as a source of narcissistic supply to your abuser.

Genres: Psychology, Mental Health, Nonfiction, Self Help

61 pages, Kindle Edition

Published February 19, 2019

Reviews

[Lu Na · Rating 3 out of 5]

It was interesting, and I definitely learned new things about covert narcissists, their signs, their behaviors, and how manipulative they are. however, I hoped the book went further, as I felt it didn't offer enough practical guidance on how to actually deal with them in real life.
Overall, it's a good, informative introduction, but I would have liked more depth when it came to solutions and coping strategies.

"You often question to yourself ‘what was the point in that conversation?’, and you'll realize you've just spent the last few hours in a senseless conversation that achieved nothing.
In a nutshell, it's very common to have lengthy conversations with a covert narc without it going anywhere at all."

[Dna · Rating 5 out of 5]

Nothing new here...they're still demons.

But a good book. Worth reading.

[Spine Dining · Rating 1 out of 5]

Too short. Just a little over 50 pages depending on the app you import the ebook into. Reads like a first draft or notes taken down by someone who is still trying to understand what narcissism is rather than the informed opinion of an expert on the subject and the text needs proof reading - both for syntax and content. Also, nothing in here that one hasn't read before, like say on Quora, Facebook forums, wiki articles, sundry blogs dealing with narcissism or elsewhere on the net. This is what sadly passes for ""research" these days. Even the "in my experience" examples somehow seem recycled in a sort of "been there, heard that" kinda way. There is enough information related to narcissism in the public domain already and several books on the subject. This "book", if you will, hard-pressed as one is to call it that, singles out the covert narcissist, so it would have done well to add something new by way of value and insight rather than regurgitate or summarize rather poorly what was already out there.

Pick it up if you are jonesing for your daily dose of confirmation bias vis-a-vis narcissists and narcissism and your Quora feed subscription mailer won't do it for you today.

[Pausali · Rating 3 out of 5]

It was mere curiosity on this particular psychopathic side of human mind that caused me to read this book. In the first few chapters, the book and its topics flowed rather smoothly, providing every bit of required information. But suddenly it seemed to get a bit hasty and narrow-spectrum like. Maybe it was just me. All the answers felt a bit repetitive and didn't seem to incorporate various types of human personalities and the degrees of attachment associated with them.
However, the book itself is a good read before venturing into a deeper understanding of the subject. It's written in simple terms, and can be gripping throughout. This does a great work in setting the foundation stone for your curiosity on the above topic, and helpful too in giving a basic scenario.

[Keith · Rating 5 out of 5]

A brief book about covert narcissism. Now this book was based on relationships but this disorder has no boarders. My advice for people is read up on this stuff. I had all types of these types of people in my life. They use people as if they are appliances or a utility. They give hardly nothing back and will breadcrumbing you back into their life. Best thing is the ban them or distance yourself from them. Plus also go grey rock when dealing with them. All of them are poison and they are not good people. Same with the other narcissistic types. All are bad.

[Kelsey · Rating 3 out of 5]

Pros:
This book wasn't a waste of time for me. I feel like it helped me cope. I recently got out of an abusive narcissistic relationship. This book helped me to understand, and deal with everything better.

Cons:
It was very short, and didn't provide much guidance. In the title is says, "ways to protect yourself," but there aren't many "ways" mentioned in the book.
I liked it, but if you’re looking for just one book that covers a good chunk of information you want to know about this, then I recommend going with a different book.

[Qasim Khokhar · Rating 4 out of 5]

Pithy, to the point, has substance. It has covered all details of essential parts of this dysfunctional relationship. Especially the effects of this nightmare relation have been explicated in a convincing way enabling reader to forgive himself with self compassion. It’s key takeaway. Usually victims try treating wounds instead of core cancer I.e. narcissism but this book has built a strong case for proper diagnosis and prognosis

[Petra Sando · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is a very good book. It covers all kinds of avenues narcissists will pursue you, draw you in, love bomb you, gaslight you, use and abuse you, and keep you around despite unacceptable behavior while maintaining the fake outward facade of a wonderful partner who could never ever do anything wrong. I wish I had read this a few decades earlier to spot all the red flags and/or to have found a way out, much sooner. Healing after the fact is unfortunately significantly more difficult.

[Mr. Cuddles · Rating 5 out of 5]

While being mostly anecdotal, this book still makes a lot of good points about detecting and avoiding a toxic relationship.

It is not meant to be a well researched and annotated paper on human psychology and behaviour. It is concise and deals with the subject in a way most people can understand

[Ridiya · Rating 4 out of 5]

Deși nu este o carte lungă, reușește foarte bine să cuprindă esențialul. Lucrurile sunt explicate în termeni simpli, așa că totul este ușor de înțeles. O recomand ca un ghid pentru începători, pentru persoanele care vor să afle mai multe despre narcisism și își doresc o lectură scurtă.

[Rin · Rating 3 out of 5]

By no means is this book a literary masterpiece but it has a lot of information on the type of people I was looking for. I was able to take good notes and while my situation was not romantic, I was able to see some parallels in the behavior of her exes and my personal situation.

[Rus · Rating 5 out of 5]

Short and to the point.

[Claire · Rating 5 out of 5]

Really straight forward and blunt. A great starting point for someone reading about narcissism, but not the not the one-stop-shop for research.

[Lexi · Rating 2 out of 5]

Gives a lot of basic info, seems a little repetitive, very short. I didn’t really learn anything new, unfortunately.

[Lydia · Rating 2 out of 5]

Great content, terrible grammer.

[azura reina · Rating 4 out of 5]

calmed myself after a storm :)

[Davis Haguma]

An informative quick read.

[Alinnarossa · Rating 2 out of 5]

did i just read a diary of someone who had a terrible ex? because i couldn't recall any information with valid data or research that support the points of it. yes it might be useful for some people but it was very personal to read. very repetitive. very empty.

[Fu Zhenghao · Rating 3 out of 5]

Basically you need to be a saint and treat the narcissist like your own baby in the hope that he could change someday.