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The Little Girl on the Ice Floe
When Adélaïde’s parents find her mute and unable to explain why she is crying, they bring her to the police station and file a complaint against “X” for sexual assault. Adélaïde grows up without showing any outward signs of damage. As a teen and then as an outwardly cheerful young woman, she suffers in silence, battling her demons alone. Twenty-three years later, Adélaïde receives a call from the juvenile squad. An investigator has reopened the classified case of “the electrician” and DNA analysis points to a man known to the police as a serial burglar. He is subsequently charged with assaulting 72 minors between 1983 and 2003, and it is suspected that he has hurt hundreds of others who never filed complaints. In the spring of 2016, at the Paris city court, along with 18 other women, Adélaïde confronts the rapist who destroyed her life. In precise and delicate prose, with poise and passion, Adélaïde Bon tells a story that is both terrifying and all too common. This French bestseller is critical reading for all.
192 pages, Kindle Edition
Published March 19, 2019
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November 29, 2024
MEDUSE
Francesca Woodman
Cos’è che rende questo libro così bello, e affascinante, e speciale? Che fa sentire spessa e forte la gelida banchisa dove Adélaïde cresce in solitudine?
La storia che racconta, o come la racconta?
Anna Di Prospero
La storia colpisce, è potente: è una storia di molestie sessuali… No, mi correggo, è una storia di violenza sessuale, è una storia di stupro: ci fu penetrazione, forzata, violenta, si è trattato di uno stupro.
Adélaïde aveva nove anni quando quel signore che l’aveva seguita nelle scale dell’elegante palazzo dove la bambina abitava nel XVI° le infilò le dita dentro mentre stringendo la manina di lei la usava per masturbarsi e ripeteva, sono tuo amico (amico dei bambini, cioè pedofilo). E altro.
Indimenticabile Heath Ledger nel ruolo di Joker (non che sia facile dimenticare Jack Nicholson nello stesso ruolo 19 anni prima). Qui si racconta di molteplici operazioni con innesti ossei per ricostruire la mandibola che fanno pensare al Joker.
Le ci sono voluti venti e rotti anni per mettere i pezzi insieme, tentativi e terapie diverse, per capire che la molestia era violenza, era stupro, che tutto il suo disordine e il suo dolore, la bulimia, la vergogna costante, avevano origine lì.
La gente faceva distinzione tra penetrazione con la mano o col pene, sminuendo la prima a molestia, dandole dell’esagerata, della fissata.
Mentre lei credeva che dipendesse dall’incidente in motorino di quando aveva quindici: dopo la caduta finì in coma, una notte oltrepassò la soglia, andò dall’altra parte, oltre la vita dentro la morte.
Poi, per anni dovette sottoporsi a trapianti ossei per ricostruire la mandibola, per smettere di essere una Joker.
Jennifer, la protagonista del film “The Tale” di Jennifer Fox (l’omonimia è tutto meno che casuale), interpretata da una brava Laura Dern seduta per terra accanto a se stessa da piccola.
C’è un bel film della HBO che si chiama The Tale e racconta una storia molto simile e molto diversa: la similitudine maggiore che colpisce è quella che il senso di colpa ammorbidisce il ricordo, lo chiama “molestia” invece di “violenza”, invece di stupro. Anche il film è una storia vera, è il debutto alla regia di finzione di una regista documentarista che scrive anche la sceneggiatura e nella scrittura mette il meglio di sé (visivamente il film è ok, niente di speciale – ma la scrittura filmica, quella è notevole!).
Francesca Woodman
E quindi, è la storia o come viene raccontata? Perché, come racconta la sua storia Adélaïde?
Come un romanzo che è anche un memoir, come un memoir che è anche un diario, come un diario che è un vero romanzo.
Adélaïde parla di Adélaïde in terza persona. Forse ha bisogno di questa distanza per mettere a fuoco. Ma poi, ogni tanto, qui e là, senza preavviso, senza regolarità, senza necessariamente andare a capo, in ordine sparso, la terza persona diventa prima e Adélaïde si chiama io.
In questi momenti il cuore del lettore si spacca – a me si è spaccata l'anima ogni volta.
Scrippsia pacifica
Non indugia, non è autocompiaciuta, non è indulgente, non nasconde niente pur se si percepisce pudore, scava ma senza ossessione. Parla di meduse che per lo più sono quelle della foto qui sopra, molli gelatinose invadenti piene di tentacoli: ma quando Adélaïde rimane incinta viene piuttosto da pensare a questa Medusa qui sotto:
Medusa era una delle tre Gorgoni: in origine donna bellissima, fu punita dalla dea Atena che la trasformò in mostro perché si era congiunta col dio Poseidone, che in verità la costrinse ad accoppiarsi con lui, e quindi la stuprò.
Adélaïde ha fatto per anni l’attrice, come questo link dimostra (IMDb è la bibbia del cinema mondiale, se non ci sei vuol dire che fai un altro mestiere)
https://www.imdb.com/name/nm1060646/
Adesso sarebbe bello se avesse una carriera ben più lunga anche come scrittrice.
Anna Di Prospero
Al principio dell’autunno la morte s’invita senza bussare alla porta dello psicoterapeuta che la segue da undici anni… In un piccolo cimitero di campagna lei seppellisce un amico, un mentore, un padre, si libera dell’imbragatura per scendere a lato di una falesia, lungo delle faglie, fino alp iù profondo deglia bissi. Era l’unico al mondo dal quale non avesse niente da temere, l’unico al quale avesse avuto il coraggio di descrivere qualche medusa, l’unico a esseresi azzardato a raggiungerla sulla banchisa.
Francesca Woodman
Cos’è che rende questo libro così bello, e affascinante, e speciale? Che fa sentire spessa e forte la gelida banchisa dove Adélaïde cresce in solitudine?
La storia che racconta, o come la racconta?
Anna Di Prospero
La storia colpisce, è potente: è una storia di molestie sessuali… No, mi correggo, è una storia di violenza sessuale, è una storia di stupro: ci fu penetrazione, forzata, violenta, si è trattato di uno stupro.
Adélaïde aveva nove anni quando quel signore che l’aveva seguita nelle scale dell’elegante palazzo dove la bambina abitava nel XVI° le infilò le dita dentro mentre stringendo la manina di lei la usava per masturbarsi e ripeteva, sono tuo amico (amico dei bambini, cioè pedofilo). E altro.
Indimenticabile Heath Ledger nel ruolo di Joker (non che sia facile dimenticare Jack Nicholson nello stesso ruolo 19 anni prima). Qui si racconta di molteplici operazioni con innesti ossei per ricostruire la mandibola che fanno pensare al Joker.
Le ci sono voluti venti e rotti anni per mettere i pezzi insieme, tentativi e terapie diverse, per capire che la molestia era violenza, era stupro, che tutto il suo disordine e il suo dolore, la bulimia, la vergogna costante, avevano origine lì.
La gente faceva distinzione tra penetrazione con la mano o col pene, sminuendo la prima a molestia, dandole dell’esagerata, della fissata.
Mentre lei credeva che dipendesse dall’incidente in motorino di quando aveva quindici: dopo la caduta finì in coma, una notte oltrepassò la soglia, andò dall’altra parte, oltre la vita dentro la morte.
Poi, per anni dovette sottoporsi a trapianti ossei per ricostruire la mandibola, per smettere di essere una Joker.
Jennifer, la protagonista del film “The Tale” di Jennifer Fox (l’omonimia è tutto meno che casuale), interpretata da una brava Laura Dern seduta per terra accanto a se stessa da piccola.
C’è un bel film della HBO che si chiama The Tale e racconta una storia molto simile e molto diversa: la similitudine maggiore che colpisce è quella che il senso di colpa ammorbidisce il ricordo, lo chiama “molestia” invece di “violenza”, invece di stupro. Anche il film è una storia vera, è il debutto alla regia di finzione di una regista documentarista che scrive anche la sceneggiatura e nella scrittura mette il meglio di sé (visivamente il film è ok, niente di speciale – ma la scrittura filmica, quella è notevole!).
Francesca Woodman
E quindi, è la storia o come viene raccontata? Perché, come racconta la sua storia Adélaïde?
Come un romanzo che è anche un memoir, come un memoir che è anche un diario, come un diario che è un vero romanzo.
Adélaïde parla di Adélaïde in terza persona. Forse ha bisogno di questa distanza per mettere a fuoco. Ma poi, ogni tanto, qui e là, senza preavviso, senza regolarità, senza necessariamente andare a capo, in ordine sparso, la terza persona diventa prima e Adélaïde si chiama io.
In questi momenti il cuore del lettore si spacca – a me si è spaccata l'anima ogni volta.
Scrippsia pacifica
Non indugia, non è autocompiaciuta, non è indulgente, non nasconde niente pur se si percepisce pudore, scava ma senza ossessione. Parla di meduse che per lo più sono quelle della foto qui sopra, molli gelatinose invadenti piene di tentacoli: ma quando Adélaïde rimane incinta viene piuttosto da pensare a questa Medusa qui sotto:
Medusa era una delle tre Gorgoni: in origine donna bellissima, fu punita dalla dea Atena che la trasformò in mostro perché si era congiunta col dio Poseidone, che in verità la costrinse ad accoppiarsi con lui, e quindi la stuprò.
Adélaïde ha fatto per anni l’attrice, come questo link dimostra (IMDb è la bibbia del cinema mondiale, se non ci sei vuol dire che fai un altro mestiere)
https://www.imdb.com/name/nm1060646/
Adesso sarebbe bello se avesse una carriera ben più lunga anche come scrittrice.
Anna Di Prospero
Al principio dell’autunno la morte s’invita senza bussare alla porta dello psicoterapeuta che la segue da undici anni… In un piccolo cimitero di campagna lei seppellisce un amico, un mentore, un padre, si libera dell’imbragatura per scendere a lato di una falesia, lungo delle faglie, fino alp iù profondo deglia bissi. Era l’unico al mondo dal quale non avesse niente da temere, l’unico al quale avesse avuto il coraggio di descrivere qualche medusa, l’unico a esseresi azzardato a raggiungerla sulla banchisa.
March 6, 2019
“I’m not crazy I’m not worthless I’m not weak. I’m not violent. It’s just that one day in May, a man snatched me up, and he annihilated me.”
The Little Girl in the Ice Floe is harrowing reading. Adelaide Bon, an innocent child from an upper-class family, is sexually assaulted when she is only nine years old. She is one of the “lucky” ones; her parents are supportive and she has the means to access group and individual therapy sessions. Still, as her life progresses, Adelaide suffers from sometimes crippling panic attacks, rages, hyper-sexuality alternating with frigidity, bulimia, and more. She experiences herself as “lost and frozen, standing in the middle of a vast white expanse, waiting. She calls this place my little girl on the ice floe.”
Most of the book is eloquently and poetically written in third-person, typical of a narrator who is disassociated because of trauma. Periodically, the narrative careens into first-person, as the present-day Adelaide breaks through. And, as the book jacket reveals, 23 years after her assault, Adelaide finally comes face-to-face with the monster who upended her life.
Adelaide writes, “Having been subjected to sexual violence in childhood remains the determining factor in one’s health even fifty years later, and can shorten life expectancy by up to twenty years. How is it possible that, even in our uninformed society, this information is so little known?”
How indeed? I will say this: during the first part of this book, part of me – the part that believes in personal empowerment and the powerful ability of the mind to push forward despite physical and emotional trauma – was a tad bit annoyed with Adelaide Bon. I found it implausible that an incident from childhood, when she was “fingered” by a pedophile, resulted in her whole life falling apart.
But as I read on, my entire opinion changed. As her memories of that day become better formed, the horror of what she went through rachets up and becomes chilling. This author meticulously presents evidence about how a child’s brain is unable to absorb the enormity of a rape, freezing that moment in a PTSD repetition cycle. The testimonies of other little girls who were also raped by this monster – and must confront a legal system that is woefully uninformed – is mind-blowing. I understand now, in ways I never did before, how violence inflicted on children’s bodies can lead to the fog of forgetting along with lifelong traumatic memory. Adelaide Bon, with her courageous testimony, has done all of us an enormous service.
The Little Girl in the Ice Floe is harrowing reading. Adelaide Bon, an innocent child from an upper-class family, is sexually assaulted when she is only nine years old. She is one of the “lucky” ones; her parents are supportive and she has the means to access group and individual therapy sessions. Still, as her life progresses, Adelaide suffers from sometimes crippling panic attacks, rages, hyper-sexuality alternating with frigidity, bulimia, and more. She experiences herself as “lost and frozen, standing in the middle of a vast white expanse, waiting. She calls this place my little girl on the ice floe.”
Most of the book is eloquently and poetically written in third-person, typical of a narrator who is disassociated because of trauma. Periodically, the narrative careens into first-person, as the present-day Adelaide breaks through. And, as the book jacket reveals, 23 years after her assault, Adelaide finally comes face-to-face with the monster who upended her life.
Adelaide writes, “Having been subjected to sexual violence in childhood remains the determining factor in one’s health even fifty years later, and can shorten life expectancy by up to twenty years. How is it possible that, even in our uninformed society, this information is so little known?”
How indeed? I will say this: during the first part of this book, part of me – the part that believes in personal empowerment and the powerful ability of the mind to push forward despite physical and emotional trauma – was a tad bit annoyed with Adelaide Bon. I found it implausible that an incident from childhood, when she was “fingered” by a pedophile, resulted in her whole life falling apart.
But as I read on, my entire opinion changed. As her memories of that day become better formed, the horror of what she went through rachets up and becomes chilling. This author meticulously presents evidence about how a child’s brain is unable to absorb the enormity of a rape, freezing that moment in a PTSD repetition cycle. The testimonies of other little girls who were also raped by this monster – and must confront a legal system that is woefully uninformed – is mind-blowing. I understand now, in ways I never did before, how violence inflicted on children’s bodies can lead to the fog of forgetting along with lifelong traumatic memory. Adelaide Bon, with her courageous testimony, has done all of us an enormous service.
December 19, 2020
▪︎2 στα 10 παιδάκια στην Ελλάδα αναφέρουν ότι έχουν υποστεί σεξουαλική βία κατά τη διάρκεια της ζωής τους-άγνωστος ο αριθμός των παιδιών που δεν έχουν τολμήσει να το ομολογήσουν.
▪︎150 εκατομμύρια κοριτσάκια και 73 εκατομμύρια αγοράκια ετησίως,γίνονται θύματα των αρρωστημένων ορέξεων ανθρωπόμορφων τεράτων που καταστρέφουν ανεπιστρεπτί ό,τι αγνότερο:την παιδική αθωότητα.
▪︎Το θύμα ενός βιασμού χρειάζεται να περάσει την επώδυνη διαδικασία της εκδίκασης μιας καταγγελίας/μήνυσης εναντίον του βιαστή,κατά μέσο όρο δώδεκα φορές.Δώδεκα φορές που θα πρέπει να ζήσει και να αναπαράξει στιγμή προς στιγμή κάθε εξευτελιστική πράξη που υπέστη, παρουσία αγνώστων και παρουσία του ίδιου του βιαστή.
▪︎Το βιβλίο αυτό είναι αυτοβιογραφικό, είναι ο τρομερά οδυνηρός δρόμος ενός εννιάχρονου κοριτσιού που βρίσκει λόγο να αναπνεύσει ξανά 25 χρόνια μετά.Μια αναπνοή που την οφείλει στους αξιωματικούς που επανεξέτασαν υποθέσεις αρχείου υπό το φως των νέων τεχνολογιών που μπήκαν στην υπηρεσία της Εγκληματολογίας.
Είναι μια ιστορία για το πόσο κλειστά είναι τα μάτια μας και τα αυτιά μας. Πόσο τυφλά κινούμαστε,πόσο απόντες είμαστε από την ζωή των παιδιών μας.Πόσο εύκολα επαναπαυόμαστε και ξεμπερδεύουμε με ένα χαμόγελο.Πόση δουλειά πρέπει να γίνει στο νομοθετικό πλαίσιο, πόση εξειδίκευση και εκπαίδευση λείπει από τα όργανα μιας ευνομούμενης πολιτείας που απώτερος σκοπός της πρέπει να είναι η προστασία των πολιτών της.
Είναι μια γροθιά στα μούτρα όσων,ακόμα και το 2020,βρίσκουν έστω και έναν υπερασπιστικό λόγο για τον βιαστή.Όσων επιβραβεύουν τον μάγκα τον αρσενικό,που καλά της τα έκανε, τα ήθελε,πήγαινε γυρεύοντας,φόραγε μίνι,έπινε και φλέρταρε-και τον κατηγορεί άδικα, αφού τελικά της άρεσε.
Θυμός, οργή και πόνος βαθύς-ένα βιβλίο που πρέπει να βρίσκεται σε κάθε βιβλιοθήκη γονιού(και όχι μόνο)
▪︎150 εκατομμύρια κοριτσάκια και 73 εκατομμύρια αγοράκια ετησίως,γίνονται θύματα των αρρωστημένων ορέξεων ανθρωπόμορφων τεράτων που καταστρέφουν ανεπιστρεπτί ό,τι αγνότερο:την παιδική αθωότητα.
▪︎Το θύμα ενός βιασμού χρειάζεται να περάσει την επώδυνη διαδικασία της εκδίκασης μιας καταγγελίας/μήνυσης εναντίον του βιαστή,κατά μέσο όρο δώδεκα φορές.Δώδεκα φορές που θα πρέπει να ζήσει και να αναπαράξει στιγμή προς στιγμή κάθε εξευτελιστική πράξη που υπέστη, παρουσία αγνώστων και παρουσία του ίδιου του βιαστή.
▪︎Το βιβλίο αυτό είναι αυτοβιογραφικό, είναι ο τρομερά οδυνηρός δρόμος ενός εννιάχρονου κοριτσιού που βρίσκει λόγο να αναπνεύσει ξανά 25 χρόνια μετά.Μια αναπνοή που την οφείλει στους αξιωματικούς που επανεξέτασαν υποθέσεις αρχείου υπό το φως των νέων τεχνολογιών που μπήκαν στην υπηρεσία της Εγκληματολογίας.
Είναι μια ιστορία για το πόσο κλειστά είναι τα μάτια μας και τα αυτιά μας. Πόσο τυφλά κινούμαστε,πόσο απόντες είμαστε από την ζωή των παιδιών μας.Πόσο εύκολα επαναπαυόμαστε και ξεμπερδεύουμε με ένα χαμόγελο.Πόση δουλειά πρέπει να γίνει στο νομοθετικό πλαίσιο, πόση εξειδίκευση και εκπαίδευση λείπει από τα όργανα μιας ευνομούμενης πολιτείας που απώτερος σκοπός της πρέπει να είναι η προστασία των πολιτών της.
Είναι μια γροθιά στα μούτρα όσων,ακόμα και το 2020,βρίσκουν έστω και έναν υπερασπιστικό λόγο για τον βιαστή.Όσων επιβραβεύουν τον μάγκα τον αρσενικό,που καλά της τα έκανε, τα ήθελε,πήγαινε γυρεύοντας,φόραγε μίνι,έπινε και φλέρταρε-και τον κατηγορεί άδικα, αφού τελικά της άρεσε.
Θυμός, οργή και πόνος βαθύς-ένα βιβλίο που πρέπει να βρίσκεται σε κάθε βιβλιοθήκη γονιού(και όχι μόνο)
June 17, 2021
«Esperaba, ingenuamente, que el presidente aprovechara este juicio para que progresara el derecho de las víctimas de violencia sexual. Esperaba en vano».
Brutal y necesario.
Brutal y necesario.
Read
August 17, 2025this book is a gut punch wrapped in ice.
a 9 year old girl is assaulted in her apartment building. she tells her parents, they go to the police, and then... silence. decades later, the case is reopened. the man, dubbed "the electrician," is linked to assaults on over 70 children.
bon's writing is hauntingly poetic, capturing the trauma, the numbness, and the slow crawl toward healing. it's not an easy read, but it's a necessary one!
(i do not rate nonfiction books)
a 9 year old girl is assaulted in her apartment building. she tells her parents, they go to the police, and then... silence. decades later, the case is reopened. the man, dubbed "the electrician," is linked to assaults on over 70 children.
bon's writing is hauntingly poetic, capturing the trauma, the numbness, and the slow crawl toward healing. it's not an easy read, but it's a necessary one!
(i do not rate nonfiction books)
October 17, 2018
Une claque magistrale. Un livre dérangeant, éprouvant, presque insoutenable par moments comme l'expérience d'Adélaïde Bon (et tant d'autres). Mais un livre vraiment nécessaire et salutaire.
J'admire terriblement l'autrice pour avoir réussi à atteindre ce degré d'honnêteté, de transparence... je la remercie car j'ai trouvé cela salutaire et je suis certaine de ne pas être la seule.
J'admire terriblement l'autrice pour avoir réussi à atteindre ce degré d'honnêteté, de transparence... je la remercie car j'ai trouvé cela salutaire et je suis certaine de ne pas être la seule.
July 14, 2019
I want to put a quick disclaimer out there that I’m not sure whether you could really class this as a review. This book stirred up a lot of feelings, and I apologise if this doesn’t make much sense as a result.
I first heard about this book at the Sydney Writers Festival. I was at an event for Bri Lee, author of Eggshell Skull, when someone asked her if she’d read this book. There are a few similarities between this book and Eggshell Skull—they are both incredible, and I highly recommend them. Whoever asked that question spoke highly of this book, so I tucked it away in the back of my mind. When it came in at work, I knew that I had to buy it.
Adelaïde Bon does not pack any punches. From the moment the book starts, I was pulled into her life and I felt like I was watching someone I knew go through everything. This is not an easy book to read. I didn’t expect it would be, but there were parts that hit me harder than others. I had to put it down several times because it was too much. But I desperately wanted to see Adelaïde get the justice she deserved, so I had to keep reading.
What I will say is that Adelaïde’s writing is very beautiful, even with such a horrific subject. I think that’s part of why this book is so powerful. But I also think it has a lot to do with the strength Adelaïde has. I feel a lot of empathy for her, but at no point does she ask for your pity. She is telling this story for her—that made it feel so powerful.
This book really bought back the same feelings I had when reading Eggshell Skull and Not That Bad (edited by Roxane Gay). It’s hard to label them as favourites considering the subject matter. Instead, I’ll say that both were two of the most important books I read last year. The Little Girl on the Ice Floe has definitely earned its place among them. I’ll continue to recommend and discuss this book as I continue to do with those.
That sadness I felt especially reminded me of Eggshell Skull, and certain parts of Not That Bad. But another overwhelming feeling I had here was anger. Anger that this man got away with what he did for so long. Anger at knowing that there are other men like him out there. Anger that survivors of sexual assault still have to fight to be believed, to be listened to. Anger that so much of the legal system still goes against survivors. But there’s also a sense of hope. Knowing that there are women out there like Bri Lee, Adelaïde Bon, the contributors of Not That Bad, the women who speak up for the #MeToo movement.
It’s hard to review a book this. I can’t say I enjoyed it, or loved it or whatever I would usually say. How do you put into words how a book like this makes you feel? I don’t think you really can. What I can say is this…
This book is vital.
Go read it.
I first heard about this book at the Sydney Writers Festival. I was at an event for Bri Lee, author of Eggshell Skull, when someone asked her if she’d read this book. There are a few similarities between this book and Eggshell Skull—they are both incredible, and I highly recommend them. Whoever asked that question spoke highly of this book, so I tucked it away in the back of my mind. When it came in at work, I knew that I had to buy it.
Adelaïde Bon does not pack any punches. From the moment the book starts, I was pulled into her life and I felt like I was watching someone I knew go through everything. This is not an easy book to read. I didn’t expect it would be, but there were parts that hit me harder than others. I had to put it down several times because it was too much. But I desperately wanted to see Adelaïde get the justice she deserved, so I had to keep reading.
What I will say is that Adelaïde’s writing is very beautiful, even with such a horrific subject. I think that’s part of why this book is so powerful. But I also think it has a lot to do with the strength Adelaïde has. I feel a lot of empathy for her, but at no point does she ask for your pity. She is telling this story for her—that made it feel so powerful.
This book really bought back the same feelings I had when reading Eggshell Skull and Not That Bad (edited by Roxane Gay). It’s hard to label them as favourites considering the subject matter. Instead, I’ll say that both were two of the most important books I read last year. The Little Girl on the Ice Floe has definitely earned its place among them. I’ll continue to recommend and discuss this book as I continue to do with those.
That sadness I felt especially reminded me of Eggshell Skull, and certain parts of Not That Bad. But another overwhelming feeling I had here was anger. Anger that this man got away with what he did for so long. Anger at knowing that there are other men like him out there. Anger that survivors of sexual assault still have to fight to be believed, to be listened to. Anger that so much of the legal system still goes against survivors. But there’s also a sense of hope. Knowing that there are women out there like Bri Lee, Adelaïde Bon, the contributors of Not That Bad, the women who speak up for the #MeToo movement.
It’s hard to review a book this. I can’t say I enjoyed it, or loved it or whatever I would usually say. How do you put into words how a book like this makes you feel? I don’t think you really can. What I can say is this…
This book is vital.
Go read it.
April 23, 2019
I am ready to call this - THE BEST non fiction book of 2019
My View:
I am ready to call this The Best Memoir of 2019!
This is an amazing story – Adélaïde Bon’s childhood was stolen from her by a calculating and despicable man, the dark cloud of his actions remained with her for many years, unconsciously influencing her every decision and mood. Adélaïde is a brave and resourceful young woman who has used her personal story to further the #MeToo discussion.
Let me share a scene that I found profound. This is a scene from one of Adélaïde’s discussion with her psychiatrist (p179-180):
Psychiatrist: “Her father may have been violent. Your assailant had carefully chosen that girl. It’s quicker, less dangerous and even less tiring to assault someone who has already experienced violence. A victim who hasn’t had any therapy disassociates herself almost immediately, assailants know how to identify them, know they won’t put up a fight, and that they probably won’t be able to say anything afterwards. The fact that you were doing fine, that you lived in a close knit, loving family, where there was no domestic violence or corporal punishment, meant that he had to make more of an effort to make you disassociate. That’s certainly why he went so far with you. To guarantee his impunity. “
Adélaïde: “So afterwards, I was easier prey than the others? Is that why I attract all the perverts for miles around?”
Psychiatrist: “Yes. Unfortunately, the main risk factor in being the victim of violence is to have already experienced it. But you are recovering.”
This explains so much of life.
Unbelievably brave, I do not know where Adélaïde found the strength to allow love into her life and to recover from the trauma she suffered and then to write her incredibly haunting journey into the book that is “The Little Girl on the Ice Flow”. This is a powerful and moving read, written by an incredibly talented and strong woman. I salute you Adélaïde Bon.
PS the translation is pitch perfect.
My View:
I am ready to call this The Best Memoir of 2019!
This is an amazing story – Adélaïde Bon’s childhood was stolen from her by a calculating and despicable man, the dark cloud of his actions remained with her for many years, unconsciously influencing her every decision and mood. Adélaïde is a brave and resourceful young woman who has used her personal story to further the #MeToo discussion.
Let me share a scene that I found profound. This is a scene from one of Adélaïde’s discussion with her psychiatrist (p179-180):
Psychiatrist: “Her father may have been violent. Your assailant had carefully chosen that girl. It’s quicker, less dangerous and even less tiring to assault someone who has already experienced violence. A victim who hasn’t had any therapy disassociates herself almost immediately, assailants know how to identify them, know they won’t put up a fight, and that they probably won’t be able to say anything afterwards. The fact that you were doing fine, that you lived in a close knit, loving family, where there was no domestic violence or corporal punishment, meant that he had to make more of an effort to make you disassociate. That’s certainly why he went so far with you. To guarantee his impunity. “
Adélaïde: “So afterwards, I was easier prey than the others? Is that why I attract all the perverts for miles around?”
Psychiatrist: “Yes. Unfortunately, the main risk factor in being the victim of violence is to have already experienced it. But you are recovering.”
This explains so much of life.
Unbelievably brave, I do not know where Adélaïde found the strength to allow love into her life and to recover from the trauma she suffered and then to write her incredibly haunting journey into the book that is “The Little Girl on the Ice Flow”. This is a powerful and moving read, written by an incredibly talented and strong woman. I salute you Adélaïde Bon.
PS the translation is pitch perfect.
August 13, 2021
CW: Sexual assault, child abuse, mental illness, depression, suicidal thoughts, disordered eating
The Little Girl on the Ice Floe is an extremely raw and visceral memoir written by Adelaide Bon and detailing the moment in her young life when a man sexually assaulted and raped her. From that moment on, a darkness creeps into Adelaide's life and she has to learn how to tackle her anxiety, depression and PTSD from the day for the rest of her life.
This book is so beautifully written, and I so deeply appreciate every word Adelaide shared about her traumatic, horrible experience that no-one should ever have to go through but also all the pain, the suffering and the dark thoughts she had (for herself and for others). This book is one you can't really say you enjoyed because the content matter is so troubling and sad. All I can really say is how in awe I am of Adelaide and all the other women out there who are brave enough to tackle their own thoughts and share their stories.
There are some parts in this that are so, so hard to read - moments where Adelaide is hating herself, when she is thinking about the things that were done to her and describing them in detail and then, what I found particularly hard, was when Adelaide has her son and has a lot of complicated thoughts about this little male in her life as well as the fears she has about what her childhood trauma may have done to her to spoil her child's life.
This isn't a book I would recommend to anyone really because I don't know if everyone would be able to read it or not be triggered or affected in anyway by the content of Adelaide's story. But if you feel in a strong headspace to read a survivor story, this one is just stunning and gut-wrencing.
The Little Girl on the Ice Floe is an extremely raw and visceral memoir written by Adelaide Bon and detailing the moment in her young life when a man sexually assaulted and raped her. From that moment on, a darkness creeps into Adelaide's life and she has to learn how to tackle her anxiety, depression and PTSD from the day for the rest of her life.
This book is so beautifully written, and I so deeply appreciate every word Adelaide shared about her traumatic, horrible experience that no-one should ever have to go through but also all the pain, the suffering and the dark thoughts she had (for herself and for others). This book is one you can't really say you enjoyed because the content matter is so troubling and sad. All I can really say is how in awe I am of Adelaide and all the other women out there who are brave enough to tackle their own thoughts and share their stories.
There are some parts in this that are so, so hard to read - moments where Adelaide is hating herself, when she is thinking about the things that were done to her and describing them in detail and then, what I found particularly hard, was when Adelaide has her son and has a lot of complicated thoughts about this little male in her life as well as the fears she has about what her childhood trauma may have done to her to spoil her child's life.
This isn't a book I would recommend to anyone really because I don't know if everyone would be able to read it or not be triggered or affected in anyway by the content of Adelaide's story. But if you feel in a strong headspace to read a survivor story, this one is just stunning and gut-wrencing.
July 10, 2019
The Little Girl on the Ice Floe really is an excellent book and I highly recommend it, despite the upsetting subject matter. It is beautifully written - the writing is creative, evocative and occasionally poetic. The switch from third person for most of the book into the first person when the author starts to understand herself and the fact that she is suffering from post traumatic stress disorder was very effective. Yes, the subject matter is unpleasant but I came away feeling hopeful and encouraged that things are changing and men like Giovanni Costa will finally start to be held accountable.
Read
January 23, 2022"Το κοριτσάκι στον παγετώνα"
Υπάρχουν κάποια βιβλία, που την ανάγνωση τους την παρατείνεις για να την απολαύσεις περισσότερο.. Ή για να μπορέσεις να ζήσεις περισσότερο τις λέξεις του. Να τις βιώσεις λίγο παραπάνω, να τις αγγίζεις, να τις ακούσεις να ουρλιάζουν ή να ψιθυρίζουν τον πόνο τους.
Ναι, το μυθιστόρημα << Το κοριτσάκι στο παγετώνα>> είναι γεμάτο λέξεις. Λέξεις σκοτεινές, ματωμένες, λέξεις μαχαίρια. Λεπίδες το κάθε γράμμα τους και η κάθε συλλαβή τους. Σφαίρες που σε γεμίζουν σκέψεις, φόβους, σκηνές που δεν μπορείς να διαγράψεις από το νου σου εύκολα. .
Το κοριτσάκι στο παγετώνα δεν είναι ένα βιβλίο που το διαβάζεις ελαφρά τη καρδία. Είναι μια εξομολόγηση. Είναι μια κραυγή.
Μία εξομολόγηση για ένα κορίτσι, μα δεν ανήκει μόνο σε ένα κορίτσι. Είναι ένας δρόμος από τον πνιγμό στην ανάσα. Από την ζωή στο θάνατο. Από τον φόβο στην ελευθερία. Από την ανύψωση στην πτώση. Από το τέλος στην αρχή.
Η συγγραφέας Adelaide Bon βουτάει βαθιά στην ψυχή της και παρασέρνει τον αναγνώστη σε ένα χορό χωρίς ανάσα. Μίλα για την ζωή της, για τις μεταπτώσεις της ψυχολογίας της, για τα σκαμπανεβάσματα στον εργασιακό της χώρο, για τα συναισθήματα της, αρνητικά για τον εαυτό της, και την σχέση μίσους πού έχει με την ύπαρξη της μετά από το γεγονός του βιασμού της στα 9 της χρόνια.
Στήνει ένα μυθιστόρημα δίνοντας στον αναγνώστη να δει όλες τις πλευρές της ιστορίας.
Την ιστορία μέσα από τα μάτια του θύτη.
Παρατηρείς την εικόνα των ανθρωποφάγων που αρέσκονται να δείχνουν με το δάχτυλο τα θύματα κατηγορώντας τα για τον βιασμό τους.
Και την θέση του θύματος. Την ζωή τους που αφήνουν να τους ξεγλιστρήσει μέσα από τα χέρια σαν κινούμενη άμμος, να προσπαθούν να πάρουν ανάσες για να σηκωθούν ξανά. Να αφήσουν τα τραύματα τους πίσω τους.
Την καθημερινή τους πάλη με τον εαυτό τους για να αποδείξουν πώς μπορούν να ζήσουν γιατί δεν είναι εκείνοι που έφτιαξαν για ότι τους συνέβη. Οι ανάσες τους ανήκουν είναι δικές τους & κανείς δεν έχει το δικαίωμα να τους τις κλέβει.
" Και είμαι τότε η μέδουσα, εγγονή της Γαίας και του Ωκεανού, που τη βίασε ο Ποσειδώνας στη μυστικότητα ενός ναού, είμαι η βουλωμένη αθωότητα, πού βρέθηκε ένοχη και καταδικάστηκε να βλέπει τα μακριά μαλλιά της μεταμορφωμένα σε φίδια, είμαι αυτή για την οποία λένε ότι το βλέμμα της πετρώνει όποιον την κοιτάζει, είμαι η άγρια γυναίκα που αναγκάστηκε να κρυφτεί σε μία υγρή σπηλιά, είμαι αυτή που της κόβουν το κεφάλι όταν κοιμάται, αυτοί που το ακρωτηριασμένο μέλος της τρομοκρατεί τις στρατιές, είμαι αυτή που απομένει από μία γυναίκα όταν τη βιάζουν."
Μέσα σε αυτό το βιβλίο υπάρχουν αλήθειες γραμμένες με χρυσό αίμα και ματωμένες πληγές που καθώς διαβάζονται ακινητοποιούν κάθε αταξία του νου και εισχωρούν σαν καυτό νερό στη ύπαρξη μας.
Μένουν εκεί και χορεύουν σαν πυγολαμπίδες γύρω μας, μέχρι να βρούμε και εμείς οι απλοί παρατηρητές την δύναμη να πάμε παρακάτω στην επόμενη αλήθεια που θα μας αφυπνίσει.
Ο παγετώνας και ένα κορίτσι ή αλλιώς...
Ένας παγετώνας αλλά όχι μόνο ένα κοριτσάκι. Τόσα πολλά κοριτσάκια που έγιναν γυναίκες, μαμάδες, ηρωίδες, γυναίκες που κοίταξαν την μοίρα κατάματα και δεν τρόμαξαν από το χαιρεκακο βλέμμα της γιατί εκείνες έζησαν τον τρόμο και δεν υπάρχει τίποτα για να φοβηθούν πια. Πάλεψαν κάθε φόβο, τρόμο και πήραν δύναμη από κάθε λάθος σκέψη τους, από κάθε λάθος διδάγματα της ζωής. Κάθε δάχτυλο που τις κατηγορούσε έγινε ελπιδοφόρος δρόμος για να ξεπεράσουν τα τραύματα τους και να μην σταματούν ποτέ στις σιωπές να τραγουδούν για την ζωή που κανείς δεν κατάφερε να τους κλέψει.
Τελειώνοντας το βιβλίο αυτό που μένει, αυτό που κρατώ, αυτό που αναγνωρίζω ως λάθος, αυτό που με τρομάζει κάπως περισσότερο από τις ίδιες τις πράξεις, αυτό που με κάνει να πονώ, αυτό που με τρομάζει είναι αυτή η μικρή παράγραφος που κλείνει μέσα της όλη την κοινωνία, όλη την αλήθεια που μας σκοτώνει. Η φράση που θα μπορούσε να αλλάξει το κόσμο αν μπορούσαν οι άνθρωποι να ακούσουν σωστά τις λέξεις:
" Οι λέξεις σχεδιάζουν τον ορίζοντα τις σκέψης μας, και όταν οι λέξεις ψεύδονται, όταν αντί για εχθρό μιλάμε για φίλο, αντί για βία μιλάμε για ευχαρίστηση, αντί για βιασμ�� για αγγίγματα, αντί για εγκλήματα κατά των παιδιών για παιδοφιλία, αντί για θύμα μιλάμε για ένοχο, τότε ο ορίζοντας είναι μία γραμμή από συρματοπλέγματα που απαγορεύεται να βγεις από το στρατόπεδο.
Μία ευχή λίγο πριν κλείσω. Μην αφήνετε με τις πράξεις σας καμία γυναίκα, κανένα παιδί στο παγετώνα. Ας τους δώσουμε την άνοιξη που τους αξίζει 🙏
Υπάρχουν κάποια βιβλία, που την ανάγνωση τους την παρατείνεις για να την απολαύσεις περισσότερο.. Ή για να μπορέσεις να ζήσεις περισσότερο τις λέξεις του. Να τις βιώσεις λίγο παραπάνω, να τις αγγίζεις, να τις ακούσεις να ουρλιάζουν ή να ψιθυρίζουν τον πόνο τους.
Ναι, το μυθιστόρημα << Το κοριτσάκι στο παγετώνα>> είναι γεμάτο λέξεις. Λέξεις σκοτεινές, ματωμένες, λέξεις μαχαίρια. Λεπίδες το κάθε γράμμα τους και η κάθε συλλαβή τους. Σφαίρες που σε γεμίζουν σκέψεις, φόβους, σκηνές που δεν μπορείς να διαγράψεις από το νου σου εύκολα. .
Το κοριτσάκι στο παγετώνα δεν είναι ένα βιβλίο που το διαβάζεις ελαφρά τη καρδία. Είναι μια εξομολόγηση. Είναι μια κραυγή.
Μία εξομολόγηση για ένα κορίτσι, μα δεν ανήκει μόνο σε ένα κορίτσι. Είναι ένας δρόμος από τον πνιγμό στην ανάσα. Από την ζωή στο θάνατο. Από τον φόβο στην ελευθερία. Από την ανύψωση στην πτώση. Από το τέλος στην αρχή.
Η συγγραφέας Adelaide Bon βουτάει βαθιά στην ψυχή της και παρασέρνει τον αναγνώστη σε ένα χορό χωρίς ανάσα. Μίλα για την ζωή της, για τις μεταπτώσεις της ψυχολογίας της, για τα σκαμπανεβάσματα στον εργασιακό της χώρο, για τα συναισθήματα της, αρνητικά για τον εαυτό της, και την σχέση μίσους πού έχει με την ύπαρξη της μετά από το γεγονός του βιασμού της στα 9 της χρόνια.
Στήνει ένα μυθιστόρημα δίνοντας στον αναγνώστη να δει όλες τις πλευρές της ιστορίας.
Την ιστορία μέσα από τα μάτια του θύτη.
Παρατηρείς την εικόνα των ανθρωποφάγων που αρέσκονται να δείχνουν με το δάχτυλο τα θύματα κατηγορώντας τα για τον βιασμό τους.
Και την θέση του θύματος. Την ζωή τους που αφήνουν να τους ξεγλιστρήσει μέσα από τα χέρια σαν κινούμενη άμμος, να προσπαθούν να πάρουν ανάσες για να σηκωθούν ξανά. Να αφήσουν τα τραύματα τους πίσω τους.
Την καθημερινή τους πάλη με τον εαυτό τους για να αποδείξουν πώς μπορούν να ζήσουν γιατί δεν είναι εκείνοι που έφτιαξαν για ότι τους συνέβη. Οι ανάσες τους ανήκουν είναι δικές τους & κανείς δεν έχει το δικαίωμα να τους τις κλέβει.
" Και είμαι τότε η μέδουσα, εγγονή της Γαίας και του Ωκεανού, που τη βίασε ο Ποσειδώνας στη μυστικότητα ενός ναού, είμαι η βουλωμένη αθωότητα, πού βρέθηκε ένοχη και καταδικάστηκε να βλέπει τα μακριά μαλλιά της μεταμορφωμένα σε φίδια, είμαι αυτή για την οποία λένε ότι το βλέμμα της πετρώνει όποιον την κοιτάζει, είμαι η άγρια γυναίκα που αναγκάστηκε να κρυφτεί σε μία υγρή σπηλιά, είμαι αυτή που της κόβουν το κεφάλι όταν κοιμάται, αυτοί που το ακρωτηριασμένο μέλος της τρομοκρατεί τις στρατιές, είμαι αυτή που απομένει από μία γυναίκα όταν τη βιάζουν."
Μέσα σε αυτό το βιβλίο υπάρχουν αλήθειες γραμμένες με χρυσό αίμα και ματωμένες πληγές που καθώς διαβάζονται ακινητοποιούν κάθε αταξία του νου και εισχωρούν σαν καυτό νερό στη ύπαρξη μας.
Μένουν εκεί και χορεύουν σαν πυγολαμπίδες γύρω μας, μέχρι να βρούμε και εμείς οι απλοί παρατηρητές την δύναμη να πάμε παρακάτω στην επόμενη αλήθεια που θα μας αφυπνίσει.
Ο παγετώνας και ένα κορίτσι ή αλλιώς...
Ένας παγετώνας αλλά όχι μόνο ένα κοριτσάκι. Τόσα πολλά κοριτσάκια που έγιναν γυναίκες, μαμάδες, ηρωίδες, γυναίκες που κοίταξαν την μοίρα κατάματα και δεν τρόμαξαν από το χαιρεκακο βλέμμα της γιατί εκείνες έζησαν τον τρόμο και δεν υπάρχει τίποτα για να φοβηθούν πια. Πάλεψαν κάθε φόβο, τρόμο και πήραν δύναμη από κάθε λάθος σκέψη τους, από κάθε λάθος διδάγματα της ζωής. Κάθε δάχτυλο που τις κατηγορούσε έγινε ελπιδοφόρος δρόμος για να ξεπεράσουν τα τραύματα τους και να μην σταματούν ποτέ στις σιωπές να τραγουδούν για την ζωή που κανείς δεν κατάφερε να τους κλέψει.
Τελειώνοντας το βιβλίο αυτό που μένει, αυτό που κρατώ, αυτό που αναγνωρίζω ως λάθος, αυτό που με τρομάζει κάπως περισσότερο από τις ίδιες τις πράξεις, αυτό που με κάνει να πονώ, αυτό που με τρομάζει είναι αυτή η μικρή παράγραφος που κλείνει μέσα της όλη την κοινωνία, όλη την αλήθεια που μας σκοτώνει. Η φράση που θα μπορούσε να αλλάξει το κόσμο αν μπορούσαν οι άνθρωποι να ακούσουν σωστά τις λέξεις:
" Οι λέξεις σχεδιάζουν τον ορίζοντα τις σκέψης μας, και όταν οι λέξεις ψεύδονται, όταν αντί για εχθρό μιλάμε για φίλο, αντί για βία μιλάμε για ευχαρίστηση, αντί για βιασμ�� για αγγίγματα, αντί για εγκλήματα κατά των παιδιών για παιδοφιλία, αντί για θύμα μιλάμε για ένοχο, τότε ο ορίζοντας είναι μία γραμμή από συρματοπλέγματα που απαγορεύεται να βγεις από το στρατόπεδο.
Μία ευχή λίγο πριν κλείσω. Μην αφήνετε με τις πράξεις σας καμία γυναίκα, κανένα παιδί στο παγετώνα. Ας τους δώσουμε την άνοιξη που τους αξίζει 🙏
February 23, 2021
Es un libro absolutamente necesario. Creo que la única razón para no leerlo es que la lectora o el lector necesite protegerse de los avisos de contenido (violación, trauma, abuso, humillación). De lo contrario, es de lectura obligada por muchísimas razones.
August 2, 2018
Très puissant, très éprouvant, bouleversant mais tellement bien écrit, indispensable.
Adelaïde a neuf ans, c'est une petite fille souriante, innocente qui revenait de la fancy-fair de l'école. Elle y était retournée seule en suppliant ses parents car elle avait gagné un poisson rouge, et il fallait absolument de la nourriture en paillettes pour qu'il puisse vivre.
Cependant en un instant, sa vie va basculer car dans l'escalier du hall de son immeuble, elle va subir un viol que ses parents et la police qualifieront d'attouchement.
En un instant, elle quitte le monde de l'enfance, son insouciance pour vivre l'enfer, la souffrance.
Adelaïde se voit dans le regard des autres, elle s'enferme petit à petit, ressent de la honte. Elle se ferme, a la haine qui grandit en elle, exprime son malaise par de la boulimie, malmène son corps en grossissant de plus en plus.
Ces salissures, ces meurtrissures elle les nommera "les méduses", une métaphore incroyable car tout s'immiscera en elle de façon sournoise, ces tentacules réveillent en elle à n'importe quel moment ses souvenirs enfouis, ses salissures, ses meurtrissures.
Ce sont des douleurs post-traumatiques qui ressurgiront petit à petit au gré des thérapies.
Ce n'est que des années plus tard, lors de la création d'un spectacle de théâtre, qu'elle va enfin pouvoir nommer ce qui s'est passé ce jour de mai de ses neuf ans; il s'agissait d'un VIOL.
Elle continuera ses thérapies des années durant.
Ce récit c'est le livre de la reconstruction et le chemin a été très long car la culpabilité est enfouie au fond d'elle, elle éprouve le besoin de comprendre ce qu'enfant elle a enfoui en elle. Toutes ces douleurs post-traumatiques cachées ressurgiront au fur et à mesure des thérapies, la difficulté de nommer l'innommable.
23 ans après les faits on arrêtera le coupable et commencera un autre combat, faire requalifier l'attouchement en viol, devoir affronter ses méduses et le monstre au procès.
Un attouchement c'est bien pire qu'un viol car il faut pour elle apprendre à nommer ce qu'elle a minimisé enfant, elle doit accepter l'inacceptable, apprendre à le nommer, comprendre que cela ne vient pas d'elle mais de l'autre, le monstre.
Ce récit est vraiment lumineux, celui d'une reconstruction. Avec le recul, Adélaïde Bon choisit les mots justes. Son écriture à la troisième personne essentiellement passant par le "je" est magnifique et d'une force incroyable.
Ce roman est bouleversant, cruel, dur et perturbant. Quel courage pour l'auteur de nous apporter ce témoignage, chemin nécessaire pour la reconstruction. Un témoignage qui nous fait prendre conscience que de nombreuses victimes souffrent en silence, que les dégâts sont vraiment dévastateurs, que notre système judiciaire ne se donne pas assez de moyens et que de reconnaître rapidement une victime c'est lui donner le chemin de la guérison.
L'écriture est sincère, directe, sans tabou, elle ne tombe jamais dans le pathos, le ton est juste.
Un livre qui secoue, transforme, ouvre les yeux. Cette plume m'a émue, touchée au plus profond de moi même.
C'est un coup de ♥
Les jolies phrases
Elle ne sent pas les méduses s'immiscer en elle ce jour-là, elle ne sent pas les longs tentacules transparents la pénétrer, elle ne sait pas que leurs filaments vont l'entraîner peu à peu dans une histoire qui n'est pas la sienne, qui ne la concerne pas. Elle ne sait pas qu'ils vont la déporter de sa route, l'attirer vers des profondeurs désertes et inhospitalières, entraver jusqu'au moindre de ses pas, la faire douter de ses poings, rétrécir année après année le monde qui l'entoure à une petite poche d'air sans issue. Elle ne sait pas que désormais elle est en guerre et que l'armée ennemie habite en elle.
La prêtrise, l'abstinence, les religions ne fabriquent pas en série des violeurs d'enfants, non, je ne crois pas. Mais dans la foule innombrable des enfants violés, combien devenus grands ont pris la prêtrise, l'abstinence et les religions pour garde-fou ?
Le temps d'un viol, le monsieur de l'escalier, s'est immiscé dans les replis de mon cerveau, il a laissé sa haine et sa perversité macérer dans l'antichambre de ma mémoire, et jour après jour, elles m'ont dégouliné au dedans, elles ont colonisé chacune de mes pensées, elles ont contaminé ma vie.
J'avais si faim de mots qui soignent.
Peut-être faut-il être malheureux pour être profondément joyeux, peut-être que la joie est l'autre versant des larmes.
Si on l'écoute, elle existe, alors comme sans cesse tout lui glisse, elle s'invente.
Plus elle est sombre et désespérée au tréfonds d'elle-même, plus elle est radieuse au dehors. Un feu follet.
Elle a peur de ne rien oser dire à un psychothérapeute. Elle a peur d'être internée si elle lui dit tout. Elle a peur aussi de ne rien avoir du tout, de se mentir et de maintenir sa propre tête sous l'eau pour échapper à la médiocrité crasse, à son conformiste.
Elle comprend ce jour-là qu'elle ne connaît de sa sexualité qu'un pauvre fantôme craintif et confus, défiguré par la honte, dévoré par la culpabilité, quand d'autres célèbrent la Joie d'être au monde en enlaçant leurs corps.
Plus on a été agressé jeune, plus on a d'amnésies et de troubles psychotraumatiques, plus on a de mal à voir le rapport entre la crise de panique au présent et l'agression du passé.
Depuis ce dimanche du mois de mai, vingt-quatre années d'invasions par effraction, à toute heure, à tout instant. Pensée de boue après pensée de boue, je me suis retrouvée enterrée tremblante, écrasée sous la haine de moi-même et de la terreur que ça se voie, que ça se sache.
Excédant mes attentes, tous viendront, mon mari, ma mère, mes soeurs, mon frère, mes tantes, un cousin. Chaque jour, le voile qui nous séparait se déchirera un peu plus, je me laisserai prendre dans leurs bras et dans nos étreintes furtives tant de mots se passeront désormais d'être dits.
Les termes juridiques sont impuissants à qualifier la haine. De témoignage en témoignage, vingt ans après, Quoi qu'il leur ait fait, toutes sont en miettes.
En France, on peut détruire la vie d'une femme pour le prix d'une voiture d'occasion.
A l'une d'entre nous, dont l'histoire n'est ni plus ni moins terrifiante, ni plus ni moins sordide, il accorde le double. Pourquoi ? On l'ignore, ces décisions-là n'ont pas à être motivées. L'a-t-il trouvée plus émouvante ? Plus digne de recevoir la considération de l'Etat ? Sa vie à elle aurait-elle plus de prix ? Souffrir ne suffit pas, il faut mériter l'empathie qu'on nous porte.
https://nathavh49.blogspot.com/2018/0...
Adelaïde a neuf ans, c'est une petite fille souriante, innocente qui revenait de la fancy-fair de l'école. Elle y était retournée seule en suppliant ses parents car elle avait gagné un poisson rouge, et il fallait absolument de la nourriture en paillettes pour qu'il puisse vivre.
Cependant en un instant, sa vie va basculer car dans l'escalier du hall de son immeuble, elle va subir un viol que ses parents et la police qualifieront d'attouchement.
En un instant, elle quitte le monde de l'enfance, son insouciance pour vivre l'enfer, la souffrance.
Adelaïde se voit dans le regard des autres, elle s'enferme petit à petit, ressent de la honte. Elle se ferme, a la haine qui grandit en elle, exprime son malaise par de la boulimie, malmène son corps en grossissant de plus en plus.
Ces salissures, ces meurtrissures elle les nommera "les méduses", une métaphore incroyable car tout s'immiscera en elle de façon sournoise, ces tentacules réveillent en elle à n'importe quel moment ses souvenirs enfouis, ses salissures, ses meurtrissures.
Ce sont des douleurs post-traumatiques qui ressurgiront petit à petit au gré des thérapies.
Ce n'est que des années plus tard, lors de la création d'un spectacle de théâtre, qu'elle va enfin pouvoir nommer ce qui s'est passé ce jour de mai de ses neuf ans; il s'agissait d'un VIOL.
Elle continuera ses thérapies des années durant.
Ce récit c'est le livre de la reconstruction et le chemin a été très long car la culpabilité est enfouie au fond d'elle, elle éprouve le besoin de comprendre ce qu'enfant elle a enfoui en elle. Toutes ces douleurs post-traumatiques cachées ressurgiront au fur et à mesure des thérapies, la difficulté de nommer l'innommable.
23 ans après les faits on arrêtera le coupable et commencera un autre combat, faire requalifier l'attouchement en viol, devoir affronter ses méduses et le monstre au procès.
Un attouchement c'est bien pire qu'un viol car il faut pour elle apprendre à nommer ce qu'elle a minimisé enfant, elle doit accepter l'inacceptable, apprendre à le nommer, comprendre que cela ne vient pas d'elle mais de l'autre, le monstre.
Ce récit est vraiment lumineux, celui d'une reconstruction. Avec le recul, Adélaïde Bon choisit les mots justes. Son écriture à la troisième personne essentiellement passant par le "je" est magnifique et d'une force incroyable.
Ce roman est bouleversant, cruel, dur et perturbant. Quel courage pour l'auteur de nous apporter ce témoignage, chemin nécessaire pour la reconstruction. Un témoignage qui nous fait prendre conscience que de nombreuses victimes souffrent en silence, que les dégâts sont vraiment dévastateurs, que notre système judiciaire ne se donne pas assez de moyens et que de reconnaître rapidement une victime c'est lui donner le chemin de la guérison.
L'écriture est sincère, directe, sans tabou, elle ne tombe jamais dans le pathos, le ton est juste.
Un livre qui secoue, transforme, ouvre les yeux. Cette plume m'a émue, touchée au plus profond de moi même.
C'est un coup de ♥
Les jolies phrases
Elle ne sent pas les méduses s'immiscer en elle ce jour-là, elle ne sent pas les longs tentacules transparents la pénétrer, elle ne sait pas que leurs filaments vont l'entraîner peu à peu dans une histoire qui n'est pas la sienne, qui ne la concerne pas. Elle ne sait pas qu'ils vont la déporter de sa route, l'attirer vers des profondeurs désertes et inhospitalières, entraver jusqu'au moindre de ses pas, la faire douter de ses poings, rétrécir année après année le monde qui l'entoure à une petite poche d'air sans issue. Elle ne sait pas que désormais elle est en guerre et que l'armée ennemie habite en elle.
La prêtrise, l'abstinence, les religions ne fabriquent pas en série des violeurs d'enfants, non, je ne crois pas. Mais dans la foule innombrable des enfants violés, combien devenus grands ont pris la prêtrise, l'abstinence et les religions pour garde-fou ?
Le temps d'un viol, le monsieur de l'escalier, s'est immiscé dans les replis de mon cerveau, il a laissé sa haine et sa perversité macérer dans l'antichambre de ma mémoire, et jour après jour, elles m'ont dégouliné au dedans, elles ont colonisé chacune de mes pensées, elles ont contaminé ma vie.
J'avais si faim de mots qui soignent.
Peut-être faut-il être malheureux pour être profondément joyeux, peut-être que la joie est l'autre versant des larmes.
Si on l'écoute, elle existe, alors comme sans cesse tout lui glisse, elle s'invente.
Plus elle est sombre et désespérée au tréfonds d'elle-même, plus elle est radieuse au dehors. Un feu follet.
Elle a peur de ne rien oser dire à un psychothérapeute. Elle a peur d'être internée si elle lui dit tout. Elle a peur aussi de ne rien avoir du tout, de se mentir et de maintenir sa propre tête sous l'eau pour échapper à la médiocrité crasse, à son conformiste.
Elle comprend ce jour-là qu'elle ne connaît de sa sexualité qu'un pauvre fantôme craintif et confus, défiguré par la honte, dévoré par la culpabilité, quand d'autres célèbrent la Joie d'être au monde en enlaçant leurs corps.
Plus on a été agressé jeune, plus on a d'amnésies et de troubles psychotraumatiques, plus on a de mal à voir le rapport entre la crise de panique au présent et l'agression du passé.
Depuis ce dimanche du mois de mai, vingt-quatre années d'invasions par effraction, à toute heure, à tout instant. Pensée de boue après pensée de boue, je me suis retrouvée enterrée tremblante, écrasée sous la haine de moi-même et de la terreur que ça se voie, que ça se sache.
Excédant mes attentes, tous viendront, mon mari, ma mère, mes soeurs, mon frère, mes tantes, un cousin. Chaque jour, le voile qui nous séparait se déchirera un peu plus, je me laisserai prendre dans leurs bras et dans nos étreintes furtives tant de mots se passeront désormais d'être dits.
Les termes juridiques sont impuissants à qualifier la haine. De témoignage en témoignage, vingt ans après, Quoi qu'il leur ait fait, toutes sont en miettes.
En France, on peut détruire la vie d'une femme pour le prix d'une voiture d'occasion.
A l'une d'entre nous, dont l'histoire n'est ni plus ni moins terrifiante, ni plus ni moins sordide, il accorde le double. Pourquoi ? On l'ignore, ces décisions-là n'ont pas à être motivées. L'a-t-il trouvée plus émouvante ? Plus digne de recevoir la considération de l'Etat ? Sa vie à elle aurait-elle plus de prix ? Souffrir ne suffit pas, il faut mériter l'empathie qu'on nous porte.
https://nathavh49.blogspot.com/2018/0...
March 29, 2022
Adèlaïde Bon was just nine years old when a stranger fingered her in the stairwell of her own house. Fortunately, her parents reported the crime to the police but the rapist was never caught. But the trauma deeply affected her in many profound ways, and she struggled with her insecurities and fears in a sort of year-by-year diary, occasionally find a therapist with whom she could find solace, but her relationships were fundamentally unstable. After more than 20 years, Adèlaïde receives a phone call from the police that they have finally arrested the man who raped her (and many other girls), and her inner strength allows her to testify and try to help his other victims. A tough read.
August 17, 2024
TW (viol/boulimie/scarification)
Texte d’une violence inouïe et d’un courage SANS NOM. Excellent texte qui vous fera fondre en larme par moment. Mal nommer c’est ajouter du malheur au monde.
« Les mots dessinent l’horizon de nos pensées, alors quand les mots mentent, quand on remplace ennemi par ami, violence par plaisir, viol par attouchement, pédocriminel par pédophile et victime par coupable, l’horizon est une ligne de barbelés qui interdit toute sortie du camp. »
Texte d’une violence inouïe et d’un courage SANS NOM. Excellent texte qui vous fera fondre en larme par moment. Mal nommer c’est ajouter du malheur au monde.
« Les mots dessinent l’horizon de nos pensées, alors quand les mots mentent, quand on remplace ennemi par ami, violence par plaisir, viol par attouchement, pédocriminel par pédophile et victime par coupable, l’horizon est une ligne de barbelés qui interdit toute sortie du camp. »
September 4, 2021
Un relato aterrador sobre las consecuencias de la violencia sexual en una niña. En ocasiones, tan duro y real que resulta incómodo. En definitiva, una lectura imprescindible para los tiempos que corren.
June 22, 2023
C’était glaçant mais extrêmement beau et nécessaire.
Les rouages de pedocriminalote et la colonisation de l’esprit et la santé des victimes. La violence se transmet dans notre société et elle se transmet aux victimes qui souffrent des décennies après que cette violence a été déposée en elles. Adélaïde Bon en a fait une œuvre.
J’ai été émue au larmes. Il est a la fois difficile de lâcher se livre mais aussi difficile de tourner les pages. Quand l’insoutenable s’intensifie de ligne en ligne.
Les rouages de pedocriminalote et la colonisation de l’esprit et la santé des victimes. La violence se transmet dans notre société et elle se transmet aux victimes qui souffrent des décennies après que cette violence a été déposée en elles. Adélaïde Bon en a fait une œuvre.
J’ai été émue au larmes. Il est a la fois difficile de lâcher se livre mais aussi difficile de tourner les pages. Quand l’insoutenable s’intensifie de ligne en ligne.
March 16, 2019
“The Little Girl on the Ice Floe” by Adelaide Bon, is narrated by a character named Adelaide who refers to herself in both the first and third person. This is a highly effective way to tell the story of Adelaide, who at nine years old was sexually violated. The lasting ramifications of that violence were monumentally heartbreaking, and caused a “split” between her mind and body:
“She convinces herself that she is made up of two completely separate parts: the disgusting, treacherous body, and the pure, bright, joyous mind.”
Adelaide’s self-loathing, eating disorders, depression, manic activity, physical self-abuse, addiction, suppressed rage, hyper sexuality/frigidity, and suicidal ideation are meticulously described. Our hearts break for Adelaide. She imagines that she has jellyfish inside her, tormenting her; they are demons. Adelaide wears a mask to hide her torment from the world (from friends and family) and aspires to become an actress. She imagines herself a little girl on an ice floe; when will someone come to save her? How can she save herself?
Bon describes eloquently how civilization has relied on “the culture of rape, male domination, and the mistreatment of children for so many centuries.” She describes Adelaide being told hers was not a “real” rape. Finally Adelaide realizes that “I am what remains of a woman after she is raped.” Warning: there are highly detailed descriptions of sexual abuse and sexual situations.
I have no idea if this story is semi-autobiographical or if Ms. Bon created it from her work with sexual assault victims, but either way, it is an important work; beautifully rendered, extremely articulate, and a profoundly moving tale. Adelaide is eventually able to know: “I’m not crazy. I’m not worthless. I’m not weak. I’m not violent. It’s just that, one day in May, a man snatched me up, and he annihilated me.” Thank you for this story, Ms. Bon.
Difficult to Read (Possible Trigger Warnings) – But Important
“She convinces herself that she is made up of two completely separate parts: the disgusting, treacherous body, and the pure, bright, joyous mind.”
Adelaide’s self-loathing, eating disorders, depression, manic activity, physical self-abuse, addiction, suppressed rage, hyper sexuality/frigidity, and suicidal ideation are meticulously described. Our hearts break for Adelaide. She imagines that she has jellyfish inside her, tormenting her; they are demons. Adelaide wears a mask to hide her torment from the world (from friends and family) and aspires to become an actress. She imagines herself a little girl on an ice floe; when will someone come to save her? How can she save herself?
Bon describes eloquently how civilization has relied on “the culture of rape, male domination, and the mistreatment of children for so many centuries.” She describes Adelaide being told hers was not a “real” rape. Finally Adelaide realizes that “I am what remains of a woman after she is raped.” Warning: there are highly detailed descriptions of sexual abuse and sexual situations.
I have no idea if this story is semi-autobiographical or if Ms. Bon created it from her work with sexual assault victims, but either way, it is an important work; beautifully rendered, extremely articulate, and a profoundly moving tale. Adelaide is eventually able to know: “I’m not crazy. I’m not worthless. I’m not weak. I’m not violent. It’s just that, one day in May, a man snatched me up, and he annihilated me.” Thank you for this story, Ms. Bon.
Difficult to Read (Possible Trigger Warnings) – But Important
August 21, 2019
What an incredibly heartbreaking and harrowing memoir this is. Adélaïde’s story is a devastating account of the long term, far reaching effects of childhood sexual assault. She shows incredible personal insight and courage in telling her story. It was, at times, quite a difficult read due to the subject matter, but it’s very beautifully written, almost poetic.
Rating: 4.5 rounded up
Disclaimer: I received a free copy of this book from Hachette Australia in exchange for my honest review. All thoughts and opinions are my own.
Rating: 4.5 rounded up
Disclaimer: I received a free copy of this book from Hachette Australia in exchange for my honest review. All thoughts and opinions are my own.
May 3, 2019
This book was amazing. The prose is so beautiful and compelling that it’s hard to put down. The content is so harrowing that it’s hard to pick up again.
I’m surprised by how many people dismiss the trauma that the author has been through, whether it be in the book, or in the reviews they’ve written about this book.
The book tore me apart but also gave me the hope and strength to go on. It’s an important story that helps us understand things that aren’t easy to understand.
I’m surprised by how many people dismiss the trauma that the author has been through, whether it be in the book, or in the reviews they’ve written about this book.
The book tore me apart but also gave me the hope and strength to go on. It’s an important story that helps us understand things that aren’t easy to understand.
Want to read
June 19, 2019
April 10, 2018
Adélaïde n’a que neuf ans quand un jour de mai un homme l’approche. Elle rentrait seule d’une fête d’école, c’était la première fois qu’elle était sans ses parents et c’est la chance que l’homme a saisie. Quoique ses parents l’accompagnent immédiatement à la police, personne ne comprend que ces quelques minutes seront la cause pour la destruction de sa vie. Pour des décennies, elle aura des problèmes à accepter son corps, elle ne pourra jamais se réjouir d’être ensemble avec un homme, elle sera hantée par des cauchemars. Des heures et des heures de psychothérapie seront nécessaires jusqu’à ce qu’elle même comprenne ce qui se passait ce jour-là. Il faudra plus de 20 ans à la police de trouver l’homme, un Italien qui a violé plus de 30 jeunes filles et ainsi détruit plus de 30 vies.
Adélaïde Bon raconte sa vie avec un viol pour lequel elle n’a pas de mots. Tout ce qui se passe après – ses années de troubles alimentaires, ses tentatives de suicide, son inaptitude de sentir quelque chose, son errance professionnelle – ce sont les réactions typiques pour un état de stress post-traumatique. Mais ce n’est non seulement sa souffrance qu’on vit aussi comme lecteur, mais avant tout le fait que ni sa famille ni ses ami(e)s ne comprennent ce qui se passe avec elle.
Que ce viol soit toujours lié à une certaine honte du côté des victimes, qu’on essaye plutôt de cacher et de ne pas parler de ce qui s’est passé au lieu d’accuser le coupable, c’est incroyable. Mais cela montre que les livres comme celui-ci sont absolument nécessaires. Non seulement pour comprendre ce qui se passe dans une fille violée, mais aussi pour montrer qu’on n’est pas seule à subir une telle chose et pour donner un nom aux choses qui arrivent.
J’admire l’auteure pour son courage de raconter son histoire ouvertement et je lui remercie pour offrir à beaucoup d’autres au moins un peu le sentiment de ne pas être la seule et de leur donner le courage de se défendre.
Adélaïde Bon raconte sa vie avec un viol pour lequel elle n’a pas de mots. Tout ce qui se passe après – ses années de troubles alimentaires, ses tentatives de suicide, son inaptitude de sentir quelque chose, son errance professionnelle – ce sont les réactions typiques pour un état de stress post-traumatique. Mais ce n’est non seulement sa souffrance qu’on vit aussi comme lecteur, mais avant tout le fait que ni sa famille ni ses ami(e)s ne comprennent ce qui se passe avec elle.
Que ce viol soit toujours lié à une certaine honte du côté des victimes, qu’on essaye plutôt de cacher et de ne pas parler de ce qui s’est passé au lieu d’accuser le coupable, c’est incroyable. Mais cela montre que les livres comme celui-ci sont absolument nécessaires. Non seulement pour comprendre ce qui se passe dans une fille violée, mais aussi pour montrer qu’on n’est pas seule à subir une telle chose et pour donner un nom aux choses qui arrivent.
J’admire l’auteure pour son courage de raconter son histoire ouvertement et je lui remercie pour offrir à beaucoup d’autres au moins un peu le sentiment de ne pas être la seule et de leur donner le courage de se défendre.
May 14, 2019
TRIGGER WARNINGS : rape, sexual abuse, molestation, self harm, self punishment, drugs, alcohol abuse. This is a very explicit and harrowing book, i wouldn't reccommend to anyone who is sensitive to these topics.
Adelaide Bon tells a story of a rape and how it effects her life for the next twenty years. With all that happens after - her years of eating disorders, her attempts at suicide, her inability to feel something- these are the typical reactions for a post-traumatic stress disorder. But it is not only her suffering that we learn of as a reader, but above all the fact that neither her family or her friends understand what is happening to her.
That rape is always linked to the shame of being a victim, that we try rather to hide and not talk about what happened instead of catching the culprit. It shows that books like this are absolutely necessary. Not only to understand what is happening to the mind of this girl, but also to show that she is not alone in experiencing this and to give a name to what has happened.
This memoir is shocking, cruel, hard and disturbing. A story that makes us realise that many victims suffer in silence, that the damage is really devastating. The writing is sincere, direct, with no holds barred. This is a book that shakes, transforms and opens the eyes.
I admire the author for her courage to tell her story openly and I thank her for giving others at least a little sense of not being alone and giving them the courage to defend themselves.
Adelaide Bon tells a story of a rape and how it effects her life for the next twenty years. With all that happens after - her years of eating disorders, her attempts at suicide, her inability to feel something- these are the typical reactions for a post-traumatic stress disorder. But it is not only her suffering that we learn of as a reader, but above all the fact that neither her family or her friends understand what is happening to her.
That rape is always linked to the shame of being a victim, that we try rather to hide and not talk about what happened instead of catching the culprit. It shows that books like this are absolutely necessary. Not only to understand what is happening to the mind of this girl, but also to show that she is not alone in experiencing this and to give a name to what has happened.
This memoir is shocking, cruel, hard and disturbing. A story that makes us realise that many victims suffer in silence, that the damage is really devastating. The writing is sincere, direct, with no holds barred. This is a book that shakes, transforms and opens the eyes.
I admire the author for her courage to tell her story openly and I thank her for giving others at least a little sense of not being alone and giving them the courage to defend themselves.
March 27, 2019
Un moment de lecture très difficile, des mots et des images crus pour exprimer l'indicible. Et en même temps une écriture brillante, franche et poétique. Je ne sais pas si j'ai aimé ma lecture, mais le but d'un tel écrit autobiographique est-il de faire passer un bon moment au lecteur ? Inconfortable à de nombreuses reprises, elle aura néanmoins susciter un grand nombre d'émotions et de réflexions.
Bouleversant de franchise.
« Elle ne raconte rien de ses idées, de ses méduses, elle tente de les cantonner strictement à un monde inintelligible et brut, elle se persuade de deux lieux distincts, le corps vil et traître et l'esprit pur, vif, joyeux. »
« La vie n'abandonne jamais, au tréfonds des océans, dans les ténèbres, elle luit. »
Bouleversant de franchise.
« Elle ne raconte rien de ses idées, de ses méduses, elle tente de les cantonner strictement à un monde inintelligible et brut, elle se persuade de deux lieux distincts, le corps vil et traître et l'esprit pur, vif, joyeux. »
« La vie n'abandonne jamais, au tréfonds des océans, dans les ténèbres, elle luit. »
July 3, 2019
L’estate è arrivata, assieme alla calura, le zanzare e le infradito. La lettura che ho appena terminato però, è stata in grado di raggelarmi il cuore e la mente. LA BAMBINA SULLA BANCHISA di Adélaïde Bon è un libro intenso, coinvolgente, non adatto a tutti i palati in quanto affronta un argomento forte, che potrebbe turbare gli animi più sensibili, soprattutto quando si apprende che la storia è autobiografica: le parole impresse sulle pagine assumono la consistenza viscosa del catrame e scorrono dense e scure, quasi prive di speranza fino al finale.
La storia è quella di Adelaide, una bambina di nove anni che vive a Parigi con la sua famiglia, benestante e amorevole. Un maledetto giorno di maggio la povera ragazzina subisce una violenza che la condizionerà per tutta la vita, spingendola in un tunnel di dipendenze, autolesionismo, attacchi di panico e disturbi di relazione. Adelaide cresce tra sensi di colpa e paura. Punisce il suo corpo rimpinzandolo e chiedendo aiuto a Dio che dall’alto dei cieli ascolta, ma tace. “Cerca di comportarsi bene, di non dare dispiaceri. Diventa sempre più triste e non sa il perché. Sorride, mente, svia l’attenzione. Si vergogna. L’importante è che nessuno se ne renda conto, non lasciar intuire, non lasciar trasparire niente.”
LA BAMBINA SULLA BANCHISA è il racconto di una guerra che si combatte strenuamente all’interno della mente di Adelaide, senza che nessuno al di fuori, si accorga di nulla. Il mondo intorno a lei sembra tacere. Alcune notti si sveglia nel mezzo di un sogno indefinito e le sembra che i margini del suo corpo sfumino e si dissolvano in un deserto di sabbia che turbina e lei scivola e sprofonda sempre più in basso. Un sogno sporco e inafferrabile.
Il modo di scrivere dell’autrice, reso molto bene dall’ottimo lavoro di traduzione, appare distaccato e privo di qualsiasi forma di vittimismo, quasi a voler prendere le distanze per essere più razionale ed obbiettivo possibile. Il risultato è un racconto impressionante, drammatico e dalla straordinaria forza catartica.
Il colpo di scena arriva inesorabile trascorsi vent’anni dalla violenza, quando finalmente, grazie al lavoro di un’impiegata zelante della Squadra di protezione minori, il responsabile viene catturato. Per Adelaide e per le altre vittime è giunto il momento di confrontarsi con i propri fantasmi e cercare di venire a patti con un’esistenza fino a quel momento scandita da un unico ritornello di sofferenza e solitudine.
Ho amato e odiato questo libro, ho sofferto con la protagonista, empatizzato con i suoi dolori. Una lettura che tratta di un argomento difficile, scritto in maniera brillante, che spinge il lettore a confrontarsi con una delle brutture più abominevoli e abiette della natura umana: la molestia e lo stupro di minori. A causa del linguaggio esplicito e delle circostanze trattate, non è adatto alle persone più impressionabili. Devo ammettere che io stessa ne sono rimasta fortemente colpita.
Buona lettura.
La storia è quella di Adelaide, una bambina di nove anni che vive a Parigi con la sua famiglia, benestante e amorevole. Un maledetto giorno di maggio la povera ragazzina subisce una violenza che la condizionerà per tutta la vita, spingendola in un tunnel di dipendenze, autolesionismo, attacchi di panico e disturbi di relazione. Adelaide cresce tra sensi di colpa e paura. Punisce il suo corpo rimpinzandolo e chiedendo aiuto a Dio che dall’alto dei cieli ascolta, ma tace. “Cerca di comportarsi bene, di non dare dispiaceri. Diventa sempre più triste e non sa il perché. Sorride, mente, svia l’attenzione. Si vergogna. L’importante è che nessuno se ne renda conto, non lasciar intuire, non lasciar trasparire niente.”
LA BAMBINA SULLA BANCHISA è il racconto di una guerra che si combatte strenuamente all’interno della mente di Adelaide, senza che nessuno al di fuori, si accorga di nulla. Il mondo intorno a lei sembra tacere. Alcune notti si sveglia nel mezzo di un sogno indefinito e le sembra che i margini del suo corpo sfumino e si dissolvano in un deserto di sabbia che turbina e lei scivola e sprofonda sempre più in basso. Un sogno sporco e inafferrabile.
Il modo di scrivere dell’autrice, reso molto bene dall’ottimo lavoro di traduzione, appare distaccato e privo di qualsiasi forma di vittimismo, quasi a voler prendere le distanze per essere più razionale ed obbiettivo possibile. Il risultato è un racconto impressionante, drammatico e dalla straordinaria forza catartica.
Il colpo di scena arriva inesorabile trascorsi vent’anni dalla violenza, quando finalmente, grazie al lavoro di un’impiegata zelante della Squadra di protezione minori, il responsabile viene catturato. Per Adelaide e per le altre vittime è giunto il momento di confrontarsi con i propri fantasmi e cercare di venire a patti con un’esistenza fino a quel momento scandita da un unico ritornello di sofferenza e solitudine.
Ho amato e odiato questo libro, ho sofferto con la protagonista, empatizzato con i suoi dolori. Una lettura che tratta di un argomento difficile, scritto in maniera brillante, che spinge il lettore a confrontarsi con una delle brutture più abominevoli e abiette della natura umana: la molestia e lo stupro di minori. A causa del linguaggio esplicito e delle circostanze trattate, non è adatto alle persone più impressionabili. Devo ammettere che io stessa ne sono rimasta fortemente colpita.
Buona lettura.
February 22, 2020
TW: so many trigger warnings for this book I don't know how to sum them all up; rape, sexual abuse, sexual assault, child sexual abuse, very very graphic depictions of rape and discussions of rape.
This book needed trigger warnings in it somewhere for how graphic it was going to be, we all knew what the subject matter was but I did not realise just how graphic and deceptive it was going to be of the subject matter. I had to skip pages of this book that literally just listed exactly what had happened to numerous children by this rapist. It was just too much for me and it was really jarring not realising this was going to be so graphic, so just be wary of that.
This is a real heart-breaking memoir of Adelaïde Bon who was raped as a child and spends the majority of her adult life trying to come to terms with what happened to her. She blocks out the memories and minimises it as "sexual contact" which is the only way for her to get through the day, but over the years this starts to unravel and Adelaïde must find a way to navigate through the horrors of her childhood to move forward. This was a difficult read for sure, it's an uncomfortable subject and it's horrific to read about what happened to Adelaïde and the countless other girls that were abused. I think the worst bits were the recounting of what other people's reactions were; asking her why she wasn't over it yet, dismissing it as just 'sexual contact', telling her to just move on. People need to be better.
I did think it was a very interesting read and especially learning how Adelaïde navigated the world and the impact that the rape had on her life. This is a very raw memoir and is not for the faint-hearted.
I could only rate this three stars and that is nothing to do with the subject matter itself or the voice, and I feel bad rating memoirs as it feels wrong, but it was the perspective the story is written in that really jarred me and at times made it difficult to follow; it just didn't flow quite how I thought it would. But I do think this is a very important story, but just be careful reading it.
This book needed trigger warnings in it somewhere for how graphic it was going to be, we all knew what the subject matter was but I did not realise just how graphic and deceptive it was going to be of the subject matter. I had to skip pages of this book that literally just listed exactly what had happened to numerous children by this rapist. It was just too much for me and it was really jarring not realising this was going to be so graphic, so just be wary of that.
This is a real heart-breaking memoir of Adelaïde Bon who was raped as a child and spends the majority of her adult life trying to come to terms with what happened to her. She blocks out the memories and minimises it as "sexual contact" which is the only way for her to get through the day, but over the years this starts to unravel and Adelaïde must find a way to navigate through the horrors of her childhood to move forward. This was a difficult read for sure, it's an uncomfortable subject and it's horrific to read about what happened to Adelaïde and the countless other girls that were abused. I think the worst bits were the recounting of what other people's reactions were; asking her why she wasn't over it yet, dismissing it as just 'sexual contact', telling her to just move on. People need to be better.
I did think it was a very interesting read and especially learning how Adelaïde navigated the world and the impact that the rape had on her life. This is a very raw memoir and is not for the faint-hearted.
I could only rate this three stars and that is nothing to do with the subject matter itself or the voice, and I feel bad rating memoirs as it feels wrong, but it was the perspective the story is written in that really jarred me and at times made it difficult to follow; it just didn't flow quite how I thought it would. But I do think this is a very important story, but just be careful reading it.
May 26, 2019
‘The Little Girl on the Ice Floe’ is not an easy read, but so many important stories like this one aren’t easy, but they need to be told. Adelaïde Bon’s life fell apart when she was raped by a stranger when she was nine years old. In her harrowing memoir, the author tells her story of her continuing fight for understanding, recognition and justice. This eye-opening memoir shows how trauma can affect a vicim in everything that they do, but also how, sometimes, traumatic memory only reveals itself after time. When the book starts off, the author tells her story through a third-person narrative, which makes you feel more distanced from the horrible experiences that the author describes. As the narrative progresses, the author switches to a first-person narrative. This happens as the author comes to understand more of her trauma as she gets older and goes through hours and hours of therapy. This switch in narrative reflects the change in Adelaïde’s understanding of her own trauma. I did feel that the first person narrative was more difficult to read, as it confronts the reader more directly with what has happened. Despite the horrible subject the memoir is portraying, this book is beautifully written which made me want to keep reading. I must say that this is not a book that I would have normally picked up myself, but I am so glad that I got to read this beautiful, heart-breaking, memoir and I would encourage you to do the same. Thank you to Quercus books for sending me a copy!
September 22, 2019
« Je ne comprends pas notre fascination pour les coupables. Plutôt que d’écrire des romans, des séries, des émissions à sensation sur les parcours des criminels, plutôt que d’en faire des monstres pour nous rassurer sur notre propre humanité, on devrait élever des statues à chaque pas de porte, écrire des biographies, des scénarios, faire des cortèges, des chansons, des fêtes, des jours fériés pour célébrer le courage de centaines de millions de victimes que personne n’a jamais écoutées et qui chaque soir parviennent encore vivantes au terme de leur journée, abandonnées, abattues et si terriblement seules. »
November 13, 2019
So much pain suffered by the author beginning at a very young age caused by rape. This is a superbly excellently written biography with so much wonderful information explained concerning the trauma of childhood rape.
November 26, 2019
Heartbreaking. Gripping. Incomprehensible.
This book will keep you turning the pages, hoping and praying for Adélaïde. Her story weighs on my heart but also inspires me due to her immense strength and courage. Such an important story.
This book will keep you turning the pages, hoping and praying for Adélaïde. Her story weighs on my heart but also inspires me due to her immense strength and courage. Such an important story.
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