One Beautiful Dream: The Rollicking Tale of Family Chaos, Personal Passions, and Saying Yes to Them Both

by Jennifer Fulwiler, Melanie Shankle (Foreword)

Is it possible to pursue your passions, love your family, and not feel guilty about wanting to do both? One Beautiful Dream is your invitation to the unexpected joy of saying yes to the life you long to live. Work and family, individuality and motherhood, the creative life and family life—women are told constantly that they can’t have it all. One Beautiful Dream is the deeply personal, often humorous tale of what happened when one woman dared to believe that you can have it all — if you’re willing to reimagine what having it all looks like. Jennifer Fulwiler is the last person you might expect to be the mother of six young children. First of all, she’s an introvert only child, self-described workaholic, and former atheist who never intended to have a family. Oh, and Jennifer has a blood-clotting disorder exacerbated by pregnancy that has threatened her life on more than one occasion. One Beautiful Dream is the story of what happens when one woman embarks on the wild experiment of chasing her dreams with multiple kids in diapers. It’s the tale of learning that opening your life to others means that everything will get noisy and chaotic, but that it is in this mess that you’ll find real joy. Jennifer’s quest takes her in search of wisdom from a cast of colorful characters, including her Ivy-League-educated husband, her Texan mother-in-law who crushes wasps with her fist while arguing with wrong number calls about politics, and a best friend who’s never afraid to tell it like it is. Through it all, Jennifer moves toward the realization that the life you need is not the life you would have originally chosen for yourself. And maybe, just maybe, it’s better that way. Hilarious, highly relatable, and brutally honest, Jennifer’s story will spark clarity and comfort to your own tug-of-war between all that is good and beautiful about family life and the incredible sacrifice it entails. Parenthood, personal ambitions, family planning, and faith—it’s complicated. Let this book be your invitation to the unexpected, yet beautiful dream of saying yes to them all, with God’s help.

Genres: Nonfiction, Memoir, Catholic, Parenting, Faith, Christian, Religion

240 pages, Paperback

Published June 11, 2019

About the author

Jennifer Fulwiler is a mom of six, a standup comic, and the host of a daily talk show on SiriusXM. She’s a bestselling author whose new book is Your Blue Flame: Drop the Guilt and Do What Makes You Come Alive. After being told that there wasn’t an audience for standup comedy done by a minivan-driving woman from the suburbs, she self-produced her own tour, which is selling out venues across the country. Follow her on Instagram at @JenniferFulwiler.

Reviews

[Jessica · Rating 5 out of 5]

Confession: Jennifer Fulwiler's radio show is not for me. I've distanced myself from her content over the years even though I used to love her blog. I didn't have high hopes for this book, worrying that the aspects of her show that bug me would be amplified and that the magic of her blog writing had been pushed aside for new opportunities.

She has an incredible gift for writing, though. This book was SO well written. It's funny, and heartfelt, and suspenseful. I knew many of the stories within from long ago, but she gave them new life. (She also slyly name dropped several times and, look, there's no fooling me with "Ann, the Canadian farmer's wife who blogs and is turning it into a book." No need to wait several more chapters before dropping the name "Voskamp.")

Some worry her full-hearted embrace of Catholic theology and openness to children is an indictment of their own choices. I don't. I'm not Catholic, use birth control (TMI!), and happily stopped at 3 children. This was a memoir, not a persuasive essay. Isn't the point of memoirs to see into a life different from your own? So this can be your warning: 5 stars does not mean I agree with every idea and opinion the author holds. Just that it's a really good read!!

[Dana · Rating 2 out of 5]

I know this is an unpopular opinion but this book was incredibly disappointing for me. I absolutely loved Jenn's first book. Loved it. But reading a book about her writing a book was just...boring. It felt more like reading someone's journal. Same thing again and again. It wasn't particularly creative or interesting. I pushed through in hopes of it getting better but was let down. It was just a "meh, I started reading this so I have to finish it" kind of read. Her other book had me so engrossed and delighted. I hate that I didn't like it. But I didn't. 🤷

[Lindsay Wilcox · Rating 4 out of 5]

Jen is such a delight, and so is this book. Ever since I went back to church and started pursuing my career, with the hope for marriage and family as well, I’ve wondered if a churchgoing, rule-following (so to speak) Catholic woman can really “have it all.” Sadly, my conclusion was “no,” and I’ve lived my life accordingly... but at the moment, I have neither. Jen’s book makes me wistful for the life that perhaps I could have had, but it also gives me hope that my dream doesn’t have to die. I might not be moving towards my beautiful dream at quite the pace or in quite the way that I’d hoped, but I believe that it is possible. Jen makes me believe that. I’m praying that her dream continues to be so beautiful, and maybe, one day, my dream will come true, too.

[Barb · Rating 5 out of 5]

There's vulnerability in every chapter this book, and that's what makes it resonate with readers, no matter how much you have (or don't have) in common with Jennifer. While she brings plenty of the dry wit she's (deservedly) famous for, she also brings the wisdom -- the lessons she has had to learn as a woman, as a mother, and as a professional.
Read my full review>.

[Lori · Rating 5 out of 5]

I have been reading more books that might be called "personal development" books this year - and honestly, I am not sure if this fits into what most people would view as personal development or not - that being said, this is THE BEST book I have read for my own personal development this year. I remember following Jen's blog during the time covered in this book, so the stories themselves were not new to me, but her reflections on that time are amazing. I love the idea of a "blue flame" - a passion that drives you AND how Jennifer incorporates that passion into family life. I have often wondered how she "does it all" because she is an amazing speaker, writer, homeschools, has a radio show, and so much more. I understand now that she is following her "blue flame" and mine may look entirely different, but that does not make me less than someone else. I am very much still reflecting on this book and will probably read it again soon. This has made me look at many of the decisions in my life in terms of how they fit into both my passion AND my family life. I HIGHLY recommend this book to anyone! Jen Fulwiler is hilariously funny AND full of great insight, and it is the combination of the two that makes this one an amazing read!

[Summer Sterling · Rating 3 out of 5]

I'm rather torn on this review. Fulwiler is an excellent writer, but reading her account of her family's day-to-day lives was like watching a train wreck. "God" didn't bring all of those pregnancies, sex did, and if it's okay now to practice Natural Family Planning, I don't understand why she couldn't have practiced it while she had so many deadlines and health issues looming. I'm surprised anyone in the home ever had clean underwear, and yet the mess, chaos, frustration, fears, illness, financial stress, pressure, lack of organization, missed deadlines, and confusion were beautiful and possibly even sent by "god"? Not in my opinion. Not at all. Some people thrive on chaos, however, so I'll just leave it at that.

[Katie · Rating 2 out of 5]

Feels like a series of blog posts

This book wasn’t terrible, but it wasn’t particularly compelling either. The author seems to be living a fairly ordinary life so a whole novel was a stretch for me. Luckily, I bought it on sale.

[Haley Baumeister · Rating 5 out of 5]

Often times the witty-woman memoir is not my style. And as a rule I'm not one to be moved (to laughter or tears) by reading or listening to things. Guess I'm a bit of a robot.

But man, after she hooked me with her cringy (but hilarious) story of grocery shopping while heavily pregnant with two tiny kids.... and being lectured and looked down on by Green Bean Lady for her family planning choices... she had me for the rest of the book.

It was the combination of her storytelling about life as an adult Catholic-convert, her marriage abiding by an NFP lifestyle, her "blue flame" of writing that she kept alive in creative and flexible ways, her determination to foster her gifts, the "wholeness of vision" she shared with her husband for their family, and her joyous welcome of new babies, extended family, and the friendship and help of others that attracted me like a magnet to this story of hers. She is witty as ever, and conveyed so many thoughts & feelings of my own, in ways that made me feel very known.

In a time when kids are seen as liabilities & hindrances, she shows that welcoming more people into your life makes it richer, makes the party better. She shows that with some creativity, a little resolve, and lots of help from others, we can flourish as individuals while being part of a bigger whole.

I loved how she ended this memoir of endless anecdotes across many years, with this idea: That it's futile, foolish, and pretty boring to wait to "get your life back" after the kids are in school... are grown up... etc. The years of endless needs of your own little ones (for her it was 6!) will give way to helping with your own grandchildren one day, caring for your own parents as they age, or being there for the needs of any others.

We don't hurry through others' inconveniences to "get to our real life". This is your real life, and you can still kindle your "blue flame". It just might look different than you thought.

Anyways, I listened on audio and LOVED hearing this in her own voice. She made me laugh out loud during my own chaos of caring for 2 kids under 2. I look forward to reading and listening to more of what she has to offer!

[Risa · Rating 3 out of 5]

I really wanted to love this book. I think she and I would be friends if our paths ever crossed (and maybe they do in some way - we have a lot in common.) Several book clubs were reading it so I decided to give it a whirl to see if it was right for another group I'm in. I walked away feeling like she was a little nuts, had WAY more health issues and WAY more help than most Moms in my circles. (I don't really have any family or friends that don't have their hands full who were willing to babysit for free (or even for very little money.) Do I have a blue flame? Yes. But I had no qualms whatsoever about putting it on hold for awhile while I raise my 5 little blue flames. They are my greatest work. Everything else pales in comparison right now. Someday I'll get back to my art, but I don't know that telling women that you have to have it all at the same time is really the answer for everyone. If I had been making art while my babies were little I would've missed out on so much of my time with them. I think she balances it fairly well, but she also has such a strong support system around her. It's just not realistic for me. As for the NFP and faith aspect - YES!!!! I wish more women would get off of chemical contraceptives. So bad for the environment and for our health. And following what you think a loving God is telling you to do - HOORAY!!!

[Stefanie · Rating 3 out of 5]

Other than being practicing Catholics, Jennifer and I have next to nothing in common, yet I've been reading her blog for years and also read her first book and was intrigued by her whole conversion process. This book was a book about writing a book and the struggles she faced to write that first book. It's interesting how she and her husband rationalize needing help to take care of their kids while also being staunch NFPers (who don't seem to understand how it works or do it well...guess it's hard to resist another person sometimes! ;-)). Jennifer is very, very blessed to have a husband who enables her to stay home with the kids, allow for help in taking care of the kids, while also encouraging her to follow her dreams whether it be writing or hosting her own radio show. It'll be interesting to see if Jennifer writes any more books in the future or if she has run out of material (or perhaps her next book will be about hosting her own radio show!). I felt like the last couple chapters were the most insightful and it took awhile to get into it. This was a good glimpse into the craziness of her life and Jennifer and Joe's philosophy on family and work life.

[Mkoch · Rating 3 out of 5]

Entertaining, well-written and easy to read. The issue with the content that I have is this: the author claims throughout the book that there are many people she encounters that she thinks are telling her something that is a sign from God. But there are many people throughout the book who are telling her to be responsible, use birth control, stop having children, etc. but she fails to see that as a sign from God? Can anyone imagine what our population would be like if everyone birthed all children that God "sent"? God is not forcing you to procreate, a sperm and an egg make a child and this can be easily prevented using the same methodology that prevented the author's blood clots: modern medicine. NFP is not birth control if it doesn't work.

[Bice · Rating 5 out of 5]

I enjoyed this book so much! Laughed out loud many times and teared up in a few places too. I am glad now that I read this before I read her first book. Now I know the process she went through to write that first book and will appreciate it more. Hope there is a third book soon.

[MARY GRACE · Rating 5 out of 5]

Beautiful

Reading this book left me feeling lighthearted and happy. I laughed a lot and cried tears of joy. It was a fast and easy read. I think every parent can relate to at least one crazy experience the author had as a parent.

[Jaime K · Rating 5 out of 5]

Jen - though really, her husband - has described this a book about writing a book. but this is so much more than that.
It's about the reality of her life, from her second child on. Her struggles with children and pregnancies; difficulties with how to balance her passions with motherhood; financial issues and the love of her family.
It's less about writing and more about what she learned about being a mother and a wife over the years. Yes, it coincides with the writing of her first book, but that's really a side plot, in a way.

What does it mean to be a "good mother" and not let go of your passions without a fight?
Jennifer answers this question constantly on her radio show, but this has everything bundled together--with some additional pieces of information. It's great guidance on how to not feel like an inferior mother.
The book feels much more RAW than her previous books, but it's still a cohesive progression of almost short stories.

I can hear her voice in my head as I read, as well as Hallie Lord's.
I love reading about how the two of them met.

There is a beautiful forward by Melanie Shankle.
Yaya's exuberance made me laugh aloud.
The mention of the Millennium album by Backstreet Boys made me fangirl a bit.
The chapter on the need for a wholeness of vision was peaceful and calming.

It is a beautiful book that left me teary-eyed

[Carolyn · Rating 5 out of 5]

One Beautiful Dream is entertaining, touching, and imbued with hard-learned life lessons. While obviously written for a broader audience than Jennifer Fulwiler's conversion memoir, One Beautiful Dream retains, at its heart, a succession of dying-t0-self experiences rooted firmly in the (Catholic) Christian faith.

I found the well-written, well-paced book hard to put down as I was alternatively moved to laughter or near-tears. For someone who has also pursued writing dreams alongside raising small children (albeit without the success), the book offered hope and encouragement. Each time I was tempted to envy, the author's honesty and transparency pricked my conscience.

The account of the "extrovert retreat" was especially well done, making this fellow introvert accustomed to staid Catholic reflection shudder in revulsion.

All in all, a great book for those in the trenches of family life who aren't satisfied putting their "real life" on whole. Spoiler: Family life IS real life.

[Danielle · Rating 3 out of 5]

So many mixed feelings about this book. As a working Catholic mom, I went into this book a bit like a cat being plunged into a bathtub. That is, to say, I found the very description of it to be off putting. Why does it feel like every career woman is described, in a negative connotation, as a "workaholic"? That said, I felt strangely called to plod through this, hoping and perhaps even praying for some nuggets of wisdom or an "aha!" moment. I was ultimately left disappointed. It reads as one woman's apology or defense of daring to have an interest outside of her children. While there are small pieces of the book that resonated with me (for example, I quite appreciated how she grew to recognize her prideful inability to ask for help--because I suffer from the same), largely it was a prickly reading experience that I did not enjoy.

[booksandcarbs]

Fulwiler's book was just what I needed after reading another woman/mom-focused title about big dreams, motherhood, work, etc. I like Fulwiler's writing a lot and felt inspired by her story. Knowing that her faith is so central to her (read all about it in Something Other Than God, her first book, a great memoir of her conversion), I wished that she had discussed her faith more in this book. It's not absent by any means in this one, but it wasn't as central as I had hoped. One major takeaway for me here is the importance of letting others help you. God might be answering your prayers through the kind offers of friends, family, and neighbors but you have to open to this kind of grace and help.

[Katie Fitzgerald · Rating 5 out of 5]

I loved everything about this book. I'm pretty convinced that if there were a "which Catholic mom are you?" quiz, my result would be Jennifer Fulwiler. I related so much to her interest in writing and to her very real and down-to-earth approaching to raising children, and so many parts of the book made me laugh out loud either in recognition or surprise. There were also several emotional sections that brought an unexpected lump to my throat. I'm not a big re-reader, but my book club is reading this in September and I volunteered to lead the discussion, so I'll be reading this a second time very soon, and I'm really looking forward to it.

[Judy · Rating 4 out of 5]

My daughter, a sister in a teaching order, told me about this book on a recent family visit day. She was laughing so hard as she tried to describe a scene in the book, I knew then I had to read this one pronto. The author describes family life, and the trials and tribulations of being in the midst of it while pursuing her dream of writing. She has very positive insite into being a mom. I liked it and will send some copies to the convent. There's a waiting list there to read Jennifer Fulwiler books, she's so popular!

[Ally · Rating 5 out of 5]

This funny, fast-paced and relatable memoir about balancing raising a family with personal passions was a perfect fit book for me. I devoured it. I loved how this was a true memoir; her story without the lessons she's learned preached at you... which is a departure from most faith/Christian Living memoirs I've encountered lately. Although I'm not a huge Jennifer Fulwiler fan--I don't follow her on her other platforms--I will continue to read any book she ever publishes.

[Bobbi · Rating 1 out of 5]

Had a few interesting parts. Nice to read about so many people helping someone achieve her dream. I do hope she remembers to pay it back to society. Probably not an author I would want to meet. The whole world of writing for a living is very interesting. I would guess there are many people whose lives are parallel to this story at the beginning, but they are not as lucky to catch a break. It seems like her children paid the price for her career instead of her career enhancing her parenting.

[Lauren Onak · Rating 3 out of 5]

I found this book highly enjoyable as a light read. But a lot of the jokes feel forced, and the writing is not as good as I’d expected for a book getting so much hype. I wanted to love it, because everyone is raving about it right now, but I didn’t. I laughed and teared up at a few parts, so it was worth the read—just wasn’t life-changing for me.

[Antonia · Rating 4 out of 5]

A very enjoyable read that gained momentum as it went along. The book was more relatable than I expected - I thought it might only appeal to those with specific personal passions to pursue, but it was very relatable because Jennifer Fulwiler is unpretentious and approachable. Fulwiler also offers important insights that can apply to a broad audience.

[Ann Warren · Rating 5 out of 5]

I really, really enjoyed this book. As a mom of young children struggling to find purpose amidst the chaos, this book spoke to me in a way I didn’t expect it to. A lot of lessons about letting go and letting God... I also enjoy her writing style and humor. Other books in this genre tend to come across whiny and/or annoying, and this was a refreshing read!

[Pam · Rating 3 out of 5]

Three and a half stars. When your plane is 3 hours delayed and you're stuck at the airport, it's easy to finish the book quickly! I followed Jen's blog before her books came out. This is an entertaining and sometimes familiar romp of her life.

[Adrienne · Rating 5 out of 5]

This was such a great read! Very moving and very funny at the same time. I rarely laugh out loud with books. This was an exception.

[Jessie · Rating 2 out of 5]

I don't understand why this is so popular.

[Mai · Rating 3 out of 5]

So, having sworn that I was going to ignore the siren lure of new books between now and Christmas, I have done it yet again and downloaded Jennifer Fulwiler's second memoir. Yes, I have the self-control of your average wild dog at a butcher's.

Sadly One Beautiful Dream is not quite as good as JF's first book, but to be fair, it would be hard to live up to the drama and intellectual gymnastics of her conversion. This book focuses rather on her day-to-day existence and, in particular, on her attempts to balance (ever-expanding) family life with her attempts to make a career as a writer. It's a very entertaining and intelligent book, with lots of slapstick humour (having six kids in eight years will do that for you) and plenty of good advice and heartwarming moments. It was particularly nice to be along for the ride as the Fulwilers discovered the joys of having a big family (something that I can relate to, having a lot of siblings myself) and of getting involved in a thriving local community (the kindness that they were shown is absolutely jaw-dropping). I was particularly struck by her points about our needing to use our God-given gifts if we are to be truly happy and fulfilled, and the importance of putting love and community before career goals and even what might seem like "legitimate" self-interest (like getting "me time" or having your tidy dream house), as these are all things I've been discovering myself lately.

Of course, there were some ways in which this book just didn't work for me. For one thing, I'm a single 20-something and much and all as I'd love to, I don't think I'll be having children any time soon. So while I found JF's storytelling funny and interesting, it didn't reach me at the visceral level of personal experience. Maybe in 10 years' time, if I'm lucky.

For another, I feel like there was a bit of a culture-clash. There are things that are clearly the norm in America or Texas that only a complete lunatic would do here in Ireland. The discussion that she has with her husband about the "family culture" that they want to have comes to mind. To me, talking about family life in this kind of "business speak" is entirely alien and it seems fairly artificial. On the other hand, the Fulwilers seem like a very happy, hectic family and I would never dream of criticising their parenting.

I also have to admit that I have a pathological response to even the slightest reference to "following your dreams". Yes, I know, I know, goals and ambitions are important, and so is using our talents. I've just seen about twenty too many Disney movies that harp on and on about the value of "dreams" and "following your heart", and now anything remotely related to the concept has an unfortunate effect on my gag reflex. And given that the book is literally called "One Beautiful Dream", well. It was hard not to get cynical about it at times. Then again, JF's "dream" of being a writer and having a large family is so far from the glorified selfishness that these movies promote that it didn't bother me too much.

So despite my fairly minor quibbles, OBD is absolutely worth reading, and I think that there's a lot to learn from it. There's a lot of plain old commonsense involved: without getting preachy, JF demonstrates the importance of not comparing ourselves to others, playing to our strengths, and accepting help when it's offered. And although it's very much about the vie quotidienne, this is also a deeply spiritual book. While faith, apologetics and general wrestling with the divine get less page-time in OBD than they did in Something Other Than God, the central issue in the two books is the same: saying yes to God. However, where SOTG dealt with the question "Do I say yes to God?", OBD is more about the question "How do I keep saying yes to God?" JF depicts the answer as more of a constant process: again and again she had to accept God's plans and let go of her ideas of how the future would be, and again and again she found that having let go, she was much happier.

Ultimately, I think it's a book about fighting the Great Negation. The devil wants death, emptiness and destruction, and we have to counter that with God's life, fullness and creation. Fair play to Jennifer Fulwiler: she's giving it her best shot on all accounts.

[Yasmin Luthra · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is the only book that has actually made me laugh and cry. Like, actually tear up as I read it at the climbing gym, and spontaneously laugh aloud while reading it before bed. Jen’s writing seems simple and easy, but is true and witty in a way that reveals the craftsmanship of the author.

This book really touched me and gave me hope that a life brimming with people and love is THE way to chase one’s dreams—it’s not IN the way.

[Jeff Miller · Rating 5 out of 5]

Now I wish I had read it as soon as it came out. I have always enjoyed her writing style and this books starts out strong and stays there. She details the aftermath of her and her family embracing the Catholic faith and the subsequent decisions they made as a family to live out the faith.

She came from a family where she was a surprise baby, one that was not initially open to having children. Her own thoughts fell along these same lines when she got married. She details how she and her husband came to decide to have a large family and the decisions they would make to prioritize this. The decisions both of them made to focus on their budding family over career aspirations.

This book is warm, funny, full of insights, and struggles. There is much wisdom in it to learn from. Experiential wisdom gained from the joys and trials of everyday family life. She really opens you into her life as she struggled with a growing family and a desire to write a book amidst this. She writes with such immediacy that you feel this situation intensely every step of the way.

One of the things I really loved about this story was the steps along the way that brought others into her life. Her tendencies as a introvert made her hesitant to ask for help or to accept it when offered. Yet this story goes past this into a growing sense of family and community. How her own relatives really stepped up, along with her parish, and others. There was so much I could identify with as a former atheist and still introvert. Especially when she talks about the difficulty taking a faith you intellectually totally accept, and then to move it beyond that.

One thread of this book expounds the backstory behind writing her first book. Not an easy process and one full of frustrations, blocks, doubts, and interruptions. Again her writing style really brings you into the picture and I wanted to stand up and cheer when she relates finally receiving a box full of her first book. Since I am currently at the start of a book writing process myself, there was much that I took in advice wise. Actually more learned wisdom that she gained from others in achieving this goal. The advice she got from one priest was very insightful, putting the context within family life. I was also very impressed with the decisions her husband made and his own wisdom.

There was so much going on in her family life that it was like a cliffhanger – what will happen next? Having followed a number of Catholic families via their blogs, podcasts, books, etc. Sometimes it seems God gives them a lot of drama so they have something to write or talk about. Although the common thread I have seen in watching this is that their trust in God grows in adversity. There is always this amazing thread of God working through others.

So I found this a totally enjoyable read. Thank you Jennifer Fulwiler for inviting us into your family life.