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Podrecznik manipulacji
In business, school, romance, or your neighborhood, it is valuable to know what attracts people, what repels them, and what makes them tick. How do people see you? And how do you see others?
In the new book, Get People to Do What You Want, you'll find the practical answers to these questions and in the process, discover how to win people over. You will gain an upper hand in your interaction with others that translates into higher starting salaries, greater productivity, and better relationships in which you are never the victim.
You'll learn about:
* One-on-one interaction.
* Group dynamics.
* The projection of leadership.
* Instinctual trust and mistrust of others.
* Other elements of human behavior that must be understood to
win people over for more than a few moments.
Get People to Do What You Want is the perfect, modern complement to Dale Carnegie's 1937 classic work on the topic. In fact, you might think of them as the Old and New Testaments of interpersonal skills.
Interrogation is about getting people who do not like you (the enemy) to side with you long enough to get your desired outcome. It means motivating human behavior to create a bond that allows someone
who may dislike you to feel obliged to cooperate with you. This book teaches you skills honed in years of interrogation and expanded by
use in the business world. By combining these skills with your
unique background, you will easily attract the people you want
and get rid of the ones you don't.
In the new book, Get People to Do What You Want, you'll find the practical answers to these questions and in the process, discover how to win people over. You will gain an upper hand in your interaction with others that translates into higher starting salaries, greater productivity, and better relationships in which you are never the victim.
You'll learn about:
* One-on-one interaction.
* Group dynamics.
* The projection of leadership.
* Instinctual trust and mistrust of others.
* Other elements of human behavior that must be understood to
win people over for more than a few moments.
Get People to Do What You Want is the perfect, modern complement to Dale Carnegie's 1937 classic work on the topic. In fact, you might think of them as the Old and New Testaments of interpersonal skills.
Interrogation is about getting people who do not like you (the enemy) to side with you long enough to get your desired outcome. It means motivating human behavior to create a bond that allows someone
who may dislike you to feel obliged to cooperate with you. This book teaches you skills honed in years of interrogation and expanded by
use in the business world. By combining these skills with your
unique background, you will easily attract the people you want
and get rid of the ones you don't.
240 pages, Paperback
First published August 15, 2008
89 people are currently reading
587 people want to read
About the author
Gregory Hartley
16 books82 followersGregory Hartley's expertise as an interrogator first earned him honors with the United States Army. More recently, it has drawn organizations such as the Defense Intelligence Agency, Navy SEALS, Federal law enforcement agencies, and national TV to seek his insights about "how to" as well as "why." He resides near Atlanta, Georgia.
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 34 reviews
December 10, 2021
Jeśli masz dwie piramidy - jedną Maslowa i ta stoi solidnie na swojej podstawie, a drugą odwrócisz i nazwiesz możliwościami realizacji potrzeb (możesz je na siebie nałożyć) - to otrzymasz możliwie najkrócej ujętą zawartość tej książki. A... jeszcze krzywa Gaussa - tak, ta krzywa to kilkanaście stron. Zastanawiam się, dlaczego katuję się czytaniem amerykańskich poradników różnej maści, w których autorzy za wszelką cenę chcą udowodnić, jacy to są skuteczni i doświadczeni w swojej dziedzinie? Może ktoś kiedyś w końcu pokaże się takim, jakim w rzeczywistości jest? O ile przebudzi się z amerykańskiego snu.
May 26, 2022
Napisana ciężkim językiem. Ogrom informacji, które czasem było ciężko przetworzyć. Dużo uczy.
March 26, 2014
GET PEOPLE TO DO WHAT YOU WANT by Gregory Hartley. How good is it and is it worth reading are relevant questions. The answer here is as complex as are the techniques described in this “self-help” manual subtitled: HOW TO USE BODY LANGUAGE AND WORDS TO ATTRACT PEOPLE YOU LIKE AND AVOID THE ONES YOU DON’T. What? As I read this book, I was continually stunned at how bad the writing was. Without question, this is the worst word, sentence, paragraph, and chapter organizing I have ever encountered. MOREOVER, the author is a proclaimed expert in Interpersonal Communication! (He worked as an interrogator, and instructor, for US military Special Forces. Maybe that is explanation enough.) I’m not sure if the muddled message is a good thing or a bad thing. There is accurate information in here about how to manipulate people—to get them to “bond” with you and subsequently want to please you, versus say, bond with and please someone else. There is information here about how to fracture a prior bond so that you can lift them up, or tear them down—both approaches leading to the same endpoint, them, doing what you want. Give them praise and the “target” wants to live up to it. Degrade them, and they want to proove you wrong. However, in order to do this effectively you have to have value for them, either institutional or biological. (This presupposes that the person “cares,” and/or, does not have an antisocial or narcissistic personality disorder; or suffers from the common “fear of intimacy” or the more rare “trauma bond.” All complications to why people do what they do.) All people have strengths and weakness and they are two sides of the same coin. Personalities are fixed and often the result of a reaction formation. People see what they want, and people project. At the moment of decision there is little choice, options are illusory. All true.
The author uses Psychologist Abraham Maslow’s hierarchy of needs as rationale for “value.” The author states: Needs trump wants. All people desire to move up the hierarchy; and you can control their movement, up or down, via isolation and deceit. Use isolation and lies to get them to do what you want. Nice, a perfect “how to” book for Dickheads. So … maybe it’s a good thing that the writing is so bad. Hardly anyone will be able to understand what he’s saying. However, what about the actual merit of his methods for persons in Intelligence trying to get information from enemy combatants? This is the bad part. He’s right – this stuff works — so why wasn’t/isn’t it used instead of torture, which doesn’t work?
The whole thing – this manipulation of people – bothers me. Why do it? Well, because the world we live in is dog-eat-dog, and if you’re not the biggest, most aggressive, then you’d better come up with a strategy to help you survive … and that strategy is deceit. Ask Saddam Hussein, which FBI Agent George Piro did, using the techniques described in this book. No torture, no WMD, just lies, pseudo bonding and then truth. And in the end, death. Truth.
I just have to wonder … why not start with basic truths to begin with? That we all are, at the basic human level, the same. We all have the same needs: Physiological; Safety; Belonging and love; Esteem; Self-actualization. Maslow’s hierarchy of needs. True. I can't recommend this book. I think I was able to understand it only because of a background in psychology and was already familiar with the subject matter.
The author uses Psychologist Abraham Maslow’s hierarchy of needs as rationale for “value.” The author states: Needs trump wants. All people desire to move up the hierarchy; and you can control their movement, up or down, via isolation and deceit. Use isolation and lies to get them to do what you want. Nice, a perfect “how to” book for Dickheads. So … maybe it’s a good thing that the writing is so bad. Hardly anyone will be able to understand what he’s saying. However, what about the actual merit of his methods for persons in Intelligence trying to get information from enemy combatants? This is the bad part. He’s right – this stuff works — so why wasn’t/isn’t it used instead of torture, which doesn’t work?
The whole thing – this manipulation of people – bothers me. Why do it? Well, because the world we live in is dog-eat-dog, and if you’re not the biggest, most aggressive, then you’d better come up with a strategy to help you survive … and that strategy is deceit. Ask Saddam Hussein, which FBI Agent George Piro did, using the techniques described in this book. No torture, no WMD, just lies, pseudo bonding and then truth. And in the end, death. Truth.
I just have to wonder … why not start with basic truths to begin with? That we all are, at the basic human level, the same. We all have the same needs: Physiological; Safety; Belonging and love; Esteem; Self-actualization. Maslow’s hierarchy of needs. True. I can't recommend this book. I think I was able to understand it only because of a background in psychology and was already familiar with the subject matter.
October 5, 2025
Jesli pragniesz w głębi duszy zmanipulowac kogos kogo przesluchujesz- musisz zaburzyc jego piramide maslowa. Jesli czujesz ze osoba ta jest przekonana o wielkosci swojego ja i chelpi sie swoja reputacja zburz jej poziom bezpieczesntwa - cos co znajduje sie nizej na piramidzie. Osoba czuje sie zagrozona i wrażliwsza wiec odpowie chetniej na pytania.
W książce było przytoczonych kilka badań, jedno z nich omawiało kwestie charyzmy. Testiwani byli mezczyzni znajdujacy sie na 60metrowym moscie i na tym zwyklym. Kobieta w badaniu orzechodzula przez ten most- mezczyzi z grupy na wysokim moscie odczuwali o wiele wieksze podnieceni seksualne(?) niz ci na zwyklym nizszym moscie przez to ze kobieta wydawala sie bardziej atrakcyjna i niezwykla. Wnioskiem bylo to ze sytuacja w jakiejs sie znajdujemy inaczej podkresla napotkanych ludzi, bo jak czesto spotykamy kobiete samą nad wielka przepascia?
sa dwie glowne przyczyny dla ktorych ludzie buduja wiezi z innymi: ze wzgledu na wspolnego wroga i wspólny cel. Latwiej wzbudzic zaufanie w osobie którą ma z nami cos wspolnego, za czym idzie latwiejsze mapnipulowanie nią.
Ciekawym przykładem zrozumienia i pozniania drugiego człowieka jest tez trójwymiarowa krzywa gausa. To wykres ktory pokazuje ponadprzecietnych w malym procencie, zwyklych w najwiekszym i ponizej przeciętnych w malym procencie. Kazda osoba, nawet znany aktor john travolta, znajduje sie w pewnym momencie na kazdej z tych skali. John travolts jednoczesnie jest milionerem i rzucil szkole. Dlatego kazdemu mozna obrysowac trojwymirowy wykres okreslajacy jego osobowosc i zachowania.
Innym sposobem na poznanie osobe jest okreslenie jego systemu operacyjnego. Czyli jak rozpoznaje otaczającą go rzeczywistosc. Mozna wybrac miedzy pretensjonalnaoscia albo prostolinijnoscia, byciem komformista albo buntownikiem itd. poznanie osoby by poźniej podwazyc jego wartosci. (jest tu napisane ze osoby pretensjonalne maja niskie poczucie wartosci i staraja sie zyc zgodnie ze zdaniem innych poszukuja zycia ktore cieszy sie uznaniem ogolu. Ludzie prostolinijni sa zadowoleni z tego kim sa. Jednakze czasem prostolinijnisc staje sie pewnego rodzsju pretensjonalnoscia. przykładem moga byc trendy w modzie. Kilku trendseterow ubiera sie w proste kurtki stawiajac na wygode i prostote. W rezultacie niszowe proste kurtki staja sie byc popylarne)
W ksiazce omawiane sa rozne punkty na ktore powinna sie zwracac uwage podczas rozmowy z ofiara- na mimike dobierane slowa czy gdzie spoglada. Jak ktos przywołuje historie najczesciej patrzy w lewo, wiec jak patrzy w prawo moze klamac. Ksiazka chwilami bardzo interesujaca pokazuje jak wolywac na ludzi i ze warto znac takie mechanizmy bo my tez mozemy woasc w pulapke manipulatora
W książce było przytoczonych kilka badań, jedno z nich omawiało kwestie charyzmy. Testiwani byli mezczyzni znajdujacy sie na 60metrowym moscie i na tym zwyklym. Kobieta w badaniu orzechodzula przez ten most- mezczyzi z grupy na wysokim moscie odczuwali o wiele wieksze podnieceni seksualne(?) niz ci na zwyklym nizszym moscie przez to ze kobieta wydawala sie bardziej atrakcyjna i niezwykla. Wnioskiem bylo to ze sytuacja w jakiejs sie znajdujemy inaczej podkresla napotkanych ludzi, bo jak czesto spotykamy kobiete samą nad wielka przepascia?
sa dwie glowne przyczyny dla ktorych ludzie buduja wiezi z innymi: ze wzgledu na wspolnego wroga i wspólny cel. Latwiej wzbudzic zaufanie w osobie którą ma z nami cos wspolnego, za czym idzie latwiejsze mapnipulowanie nią.
Ciekawym przykładem zrozumienia i pozniania drugiego człowieka jest tez trójwymiarowa krzywa gausa. To wykres ktory pokazuje ponadprzecietnych w malym procencie, zwyklych w najwiekszym i ponizej przeciętnych w malym procencie. Kazda osoba, nawet znany aktor john travolta, znajduje sie w pewnym momencie na kazdej z tych skali. John travolts jednoczesnie jest milionerem i rzucil szkole. Dlatego kazdemu mozna obrysowac trojwymirowy wykres okreslajacy jego osobowosc i zachowania.
Innym sposobem na poznanie osobe jest okreslenie jego systemu operacyjnego. Czyli jak rozpoznaje otaczającą go rzeczywistosc. Mozna wybrac miedzy pretensjonalnaoscia albo prostolinijnoscia, byciem komformista albo buntownikiem itd. poznanie osoby by poźniej podwazyc jego wartosci. (jest tu napisane ze osoby pretensjonalne maja niskie poczucie wartosci i staraja sie zyc zgodnie ze zdaniem innych poszukuja zycia ktore cieszy sie uznaniem ogolu. Ludzie prostolinijni sa zadowoleni z tego kim sa. Jednakze czasem prostolinijnisc staje sie pewnego rodzsju pretensjonalnoscia. przykładem moga byc trendy w modzie. Kilku trendseterow ubiera sie w proste kurtki stawiajac na wygode i prostote. W rezultacie niszowe proste kurtki staja sie byc popylarne)
W ksiazce omawiane sa rozne punkty na ktore powinna sie zwracac uwage podczas rozmowy z ofiara- na mimike dobierane slowa czy gdzie spoglada. Jak ktos przywołuje historie najczesciej patrzy w lewo, wiec jak patrzy w prawo moze klamac. Ksiazka chwilami bardzo interesujaca pokazuje jak wolywac na ludzi i ze warto znac takie mechanizmy bo my tez mozemy woasc w pulapke manipulatora
March 22, 2024
1.75
Przeczytałam tylko ze względu na eksperymenty psychologiczne i szczerze to chyba były jedyne dobre rzeczy w tej książce…
Przeczytałam tylko ze względu na eksperymenty psychologiczne i szczerze to chyba były jedyne dobre rzeczy w tej książce…
June 30, 2023
Nauczyłam się wielu ciekawych rzeczy
February 7, 2020
People attack this book because of the mind control elements but that is part of human nature. Our minds are being controlled on a daily basis by the government and big corporations but many do not realize it. This book helps to understand those techniques and attacks and how to defend against it.
August 21, 2008
This book was a little scary, but like the trainwreck you can't stop looking at.
July 30, 2009
of limited use for most people, in my opinion. Focuses on manipulation and interrogation.
July 2, 2020
Quite simple but low fundamental thinking
February 26, 2020
Very interesting.
Weak leaders react to stress by failing to make important decisions, trying to please everyone, or responding with too much aggression and disciplinary force. Symptoms of weak leadership include group infighting. A strong leader can deal with natural leaders and alphas who might pose a threat. This may entail getting everyone to work toward shared goals or forging alliances with rivals.
Leadership can be formal or informal, and leaders can adopt contrasting leadership or “influence” styles, including “authoritarian versus democratic,” open versus maneuvering” and “naughty versus nice.” No particular style is best, though a naughty leader’s traits can manifest as meanness. A leader’s effectiveness is the best measure for evaluating his or her strength.
Be approachable but mysterious – Demonstrate value by letting others feel that they are close to you – but not so close that you lose your mystique. You want to be admired, but not intimidating and not overly familiar.
Bond with your subject – To spark conversations, find out what you have in common with the other person. When you genuinely listen to people, they’ll often want to talk to you.
Let your subject share with you – Pay attention to information that people leak accidentally in conversation. Be aware of how the conversation is going. Listen to what the person emphasizes, and ask for information when you detect those signals. Be aware of what you’re sharing. Don’t reveal too much with your glances, emphasis and body language.
Pay attention to eye movement. It signals what portion of the brain a person is using. Most people look left when trying to remember something, and right when they’re being calculating. To determine where your subject looks when telling the truth, ask nonemotional questions that require thought.
Direct people to do more of what you want them to do by using Maslow’s “esteem needs” of belonging and differentiating, because “that’s what it comes down to.” Three steps demonstrate how:
Begin a conversation with the intention of bonding with your subject and gaining information that might be valuable in negotiations. Use careful questioning, active listening and body language observation.
Engage your target like an interrogator, figuring out what motivates him or her. Then create a situation in which the person feels the need to cooperate, either to protect something important or to obtain something he or she wants.
Manipulate someone by bonding that person to you – or to you and your group – or by fracturing that person from you – or from you and your group. For example, create an alliance with someone by forming a shared bond against a common enemy. People who bond with you may share information inadvertently.
To fracture someone from a group, choose among four options:
“Illustration” – Ask your targets so many questions that they realize their shortcomings and perceives the limits of their available options.
“Isolation” – Separate a person from his or her support base. This might mean questioning a regional manager at a national conference away from his or her hometown.
“Association” – Stop someone’s bonding with one group by associating the person with another group, such as a rival company.
“Paring options” – This is a negative approach to manipulation, so only skilled a negotiator can handle it correctly. Make someone do as you want by presenting two bad options to create the impression the person has no choice or escape.
Weak leaders react to stress by failing to make important decisions, trying to please everyone, or responding with too much aggression and disciplinary force. Symptoms of weak leadership include group infighting. A strong leader can deal with natural leaders and alphas who might pose a threat. This may entail getting everyone to work toward shared goals or forging alliances with rivals.
Leadership can be formal or informal, and leaders can adopt contrasting leadership or “influence” styles, including “authoritarian versus democratic,” open versus maneuvering” and “naughty versus nice.” No particular style is best, though a naughty leader’s traits can manifest as meanness. A leader’s effectiveness is the best measure for evaluating his or her strength.
Be approachable but mysterious – Demonstrate value by letting others feel that they are close to you – but not so close that you lose your mystique. You want to be admired, but not intimidating and not overly familiar.
Bond with your subject – To spark conversations, find out what you have in common with the other person. When you genuinely listen to people, they’ll often want to talk to you.
Let your subject share with you – Pay attention to information that people leak accidentally in conversation. Be aware of how the conversation is going. Listen to what the person emphasizes, and ask for information when you detect those signals. Be aware of what you’re sharing. Don’t reveal too much with your glances, emphasis and body language.
Pay attention to eye movement. It signals what portion of the brain a person is using. Most people look left when trying to remember something, and right when they’re being calculating. To determine where your subject looks when telling the truth, ask nonemotional questions that require thought.
Direct people to do more of what you want them to do by using Maslow’s “esteem needs” of belonging and differentiating, because “that’s what it comes down to.” Three steps demonstrate how:
Begin a conversation with the intention of bonding with your subject and gaining information that might be valuable in negotiations. Use careful questioning, active listening and body language observation.
Engage your target like an interrogator, figuring out what motivates him or her. Then create a situation in which the person feels the need to cooperate, either to protect something important or to obtain something he or she wants.
Manipulate someone by bonding that person to you – or to you and your group – or by fracturing that person from you – or from you and your group. For example, create an alliance with someone by forming a shared bond against a common enemy. People who bond with you may share information inadvertently.
To fracture someone from a group, choose among four options:
“Illustration” – Ask your targets so many questions that they realize their shortcomings and perceives the limits of their available options.
“Isolation” – Separate a person from his or her support base. This might mean questioning a regional manager at a national conference away from his or her hometown.
“Association” – Stop someone’s bonding with one group by associating the person with another group, such as a rival company.
“Paring options” – This is a negative approach to manipulation, so only skilled a negotiator can handle it correctly. Make someone do as you want by presenting two bad options to create the impression the person has no choice or escape.
July 10, 2015
I might or might not have more to say about this one later. I hate to recommend it, but you're probably better off knowing that these people (Ayn Rand called them "second-handers") exist, and being wise to their tricks. As the authors are moral relativists ("the end justifies the means" is a recurrent theme in the book), I doubt either of them would mind if you stole a copy, or purchased a stripped-cover edition at a local flea market.
Like _The Protocols of the Learned Elders of Zion_, _Get People to Do What You Want_ is stunningly unoriginal. Its value lies in being a compendium of the vile-but-effective. To reiterate, none of the material is new.
If ever you've dated a narcissistic drama-queen, you've probably been the recipient of every trick in this book. The same applies if you've ever been screwed by a commissioned financial adviser, or simply been shaken down by the school bully, or ostracized by the "cool club" for belonging to the "wrong" race, ethnicity, religious persuasion, or socioeconomic group.
The psychology is a mishmash of thievery. Bandler and Grinder, Haden-Elgin, Perls, Satir, et al., are stripped and left shivering (and uncredited) on the roadside. Not a footnote in the entire book, and no bibliography.
The tone is that of an angry, MMC boderliner who finally differentiated himself by --well, by joining a dangerous, badass outfit that (I never said logic was his strong suit) does the bidding of the "cool club" that once rejected him.
I salute you, sir. Thou art vindicated, O knight perilous! LOL!
On a more serious note, only David Brooks's _BoBos in Paradise_ surpasses it as a first-hand account of the inner workings of the antisocial mind. This, incidentally, limits _GPTDWYW's_ long-term value. In an increasingly narcissistic and sociopathic culture, Hartley's "dark secrets" are rapidly becoming the norm. Do you want to be free of that inconvenient baby? Apply the "Landrum Factor" and your "paring options" by tossing it into a dumpster on a freezing night. Do you want to obtain another country's resources without paying for them? Apply "the dynamic of bonding." In the author's own words: "...give [the dupes] a common enemy. Find one or create one." (And in this respect, the author knows whereof he speaks. Among the credentials he boasts is that of interrogator in Uncle Sammy's miserably failed "war on terror." Unfortunately, he's too historically illiterate -- or too solipsistic -- to understand that his "strategies" guarantee long-term failure. As evidence, I submit his confusion on pp. 24-25. "...the Western world needs a different approach for a new enemy. The effect of the current system is to strengthen the self-image of the jihadists and take away any chance the interrogator has to broker anxiety by demonstrating his understanding of the terrorists' feelings of personal extinction."
LOL! Where to start with that one? By and large, the Western world has *made* an enemy by applying Hartley's tactics on a grand scale since petroleum was discovered in the (non-Ottoman, mind you) Islamic hinterlands. To the "terrorists" (pardon my cynical chuckle -- I'm of Irish descent. ) Hartley and his kind are the legionaries of the current system. Does this occur to the man who prides himself upon knowing his prey? Apparently not. And how, pray tell, does the inquisitor lose his chance to "broker anxiety" when his victims face *only* personal extinction? The assertion echoes B.F. Skinner's _Walden II_ in its single-minded, anti-scientific thoughtlessness: "Behave, damn you! Behave as you ought!"
I'll cut this review short. The shower beckons...
I've mentioned the thievery, have I not? Hartley (and his ghost-writer, ueber-Bobo Maryann Karinch) are transparent as glass: gub'mint and corporate. Short-sighted and fractured, both embody the Randian concept of "selfishness without a self." Newton admitted that he stood on the shoulders of giants. Neither Hartley nor Karinch rises to that level of humility -- with predictable results. Both are failures, parasites, predators, scavengers. And both are desperate for recognition. As evidence, I submit their groundless boasts -- in their own words.
"...discover how to win people over. You will gain an upper hand in your interaction with others that translates into higher starting salaries, greater productivity, and better relationships in which you are never the victim."
Note that bargaining, value for value, is out of the question. Ditto the simple pleasure of enjoying another person for who he/she is -- "warts and all." Why earn companionship when you can "win people over"? Why seek companionship, when you can "gain an upper hand"? And whence this "greater productivity"? Nothing in the book suggests self-cultivation or self-knowledge. The unfortunate reader is left to conclude that "greater productivity" is a euphemism for "vampirism." Bear this in mind.
"Gregory Hartley's *expertise*... *earned him honors*...Hartley has an *illustrious* military record, including *earning* the *prestigious* Knowlton Award...
Yeah, fine. Torquemada's expertise earned him honors, as well. The underlying and overlying reality, though, is that neither Hartley nor Torquemada ever produced anything of enduring value - to anyone. Note, Gentle Reader, that Hartley is not a General.
More later. My wife just came in from work. Suffice to say that unlike a tax-paid army torturer, I have to work for my living -- and to maintain my social relationships. Remind me of this, BTW. Like Douglas MacArthur or a stubborn cough, I shall return. :-)
Like _The Protocols of the Learned Elders of Zion_, _Get People to Do What You Want_ is stunningly unoriginal. Its value lies in being a compendium of the vile-but-effective. To reiterate, none of the material is new.
If ever you've dated a narcissistic drama-queen, you've probably been the recipient of every trick in this book. The same applies if you've ever been screwed by a commissioned financial adviser, or simply been shaken down by the school bully, or ostracized by the "cool club" for belonging to the "wrong" race, ethnicity, religious persuasion, or socioeconomic group.
The psychology is a mishmash of thievery. Bandler and Grinder, Haden-Elgin, Perls, Satir, et al., are stripped and left shivering (and uncredited) on the roadside. Not a footnote in the entire book, and no bibliography.
The tone is that of an angry, MMC boderliner who finally differentiated himself by --well, by joining a dangerous, badass outfit that (I never said logic was his strong suit) does the bidding of the "cool club" that once rejected him.
I salute you, sir. Thou art vindicated, O knight perilous! LOL!
On a more serious note, only David Brooks's _BoBos in Paradise_ surpasses it as a first-hand account of the inner workings of the antisocial mind. This, incidentally, limits _GPTDWYW's_ long-term value. In an increasingly narcissistic and sociopathic culture, Hartley's "dark secrets" are rapidly becoming the norm. Do you want to be free of that inconvenient baby? Apply the "Landrum Factor" and your "paring options" by tossing it into a dumpster on a freezing night. Do you want to obtain another country's resources without paying for them? Apply "the dynamic of bonding." In the author's own words: "...give [the dupes] a common enemy. Find one or create one." (And in this respect, the author knows whereof he speaks. Among the credentials he boasts is that of interrogator in Uncle Sammy's miserably failed "war on terror." Unfortunately, he's too historically illiterate -- or too solipsistic -- to understand that his "strategies" guarantee long-term failure. As evidence, I submit his confusion on pp. 24-25. "...the Western world needs a different approach for a new enemy. The effect of the current system is to strengthen the self-image of the jihadists and take away any chance the interrogator has to broker anxiety by demonstrating his understanding of the terrorists' feelings of personal extinction."
LOL! Where to start with that one? By and large, the Western world has *made* an enemy by applying Hartley's tactics on a grand scale since petroleum was discovered in the (non-Ottoman, mind you) Islamic hinterlands. To the "terrorists" (pardon my cynical chuckle -- I'm of Irish descent. ) Hartley and his kind are the legionaries of the current system. Does this occur to the man who prides himself upon knowing his prey? Apparently not. And how, pray tell, does the inquisitor lose his chance to "broker anxiety" when his victims face *only* personal extinction? The assertion echoes B.F. Skinner's _Walden II_ in its single-minded, anti-scientific thoughtlessness: "Behave, damn you! Behave as you ought!"
I'll cut this review short. The shower beckons...
I've mentioned the thievery, have I not? Hartley (and his ghost-writer, ueber-Bobo Maryann Karinch) are transparent as glass: gub'mint and corporate. Short-sighted and fractured, both embody the Randian concept of "selfishness without a self." Newton admitted that he stood on the shoulders of giants. Neither Hartley nor Karinch rises to that level of humility -- with predictable results. Both are failures, parasites, predators, scavengers. And both are desperate for recognition. As evidence, I submit their groundless boasts -- in their own words.
"...discover how to win people over. You will gain an upper hand in your interaction with others that translates into higher starting salaries, greater productivity, and better relationships in which you are never the victim."
Note that bargaining, value for value, is out of the question. Ditto the simple pleasure of enjoying another person for who he/she is -- "warts and all." Why earn companionship when you can "win people over"? Why seek companionship, when you can "gain an upper hand"? And whence this "greater productivity"? Nothing in the book suggests self-cultivation or self-knowledge. The unfortunate reader is left to conclude that "greater productivity" is a euphemism for "vampirism." Bear this in mind.
"Gregory Hartley's *expertise*... *earned him honors*...Hartley has an *illustrious* military record, including *earning* the *prestigious* Knowlton Award...
Yeah, fine. Torquemada's expertise earned him honors, as well. The underlying and overlying reality, though, is that neither Hartley nor Torquemada ever produced anything of enduring value - to anyone. Note, Gentle Reader, that Hartley is not a General.
More later. My wife just came in from work. Suffice to say that unlike a tax-paid army torturer, I have to work for my living -- and to maintain my social relationships. Remind me of this, BTW. Like Douglas MacArthur or a stubborn cough, I shall return. :-)
October 15, 2021
Unfortunately, I found this book, I think I was looking for a different book.
Fortunately, I listened to it instead of reading it.
Unfortunately, some people may see I read this book and be inclined to read it.
Fortunately, there’s an option to speed up the audio so you can get through it faster.
Unfortunately, I didn’t learn anything from this book.
Fortunately, I read a book before this about not quitting so I was able to power through it anyway.
I’m embarrassed that I entertained the idea of reading this book.
Fortunately, I listened to it instead of reading it.
Unfortunately, some people may see I read this book and be inclined to read it.
Fortunately, there’s an option to speed up the audio so you can get through it faster.
Unfortunately, I didn’t learn anything from this book.
Fortunately, I read a book before this about not quitting so I was able to power through it anyway.
I’m embarrassed that I entertained the idea of reading this book.
May 20, 2025
I'm not sure what my expectations were when I started to read this out of curiosity, but I was a bit disappointed in how surface-level knowledge the book provided and whatever it did say was quite out-dated and what's already been highly critizised about human behaviour and how body signals actually work.
December 8, 2019
عدة مناهج ممكن استخدامها للتاثير على السلوك
منهج التخويف
منهج الصمت
منهج الاقناع
منهج المديح او النقد
منهج العارف بكل شئ خاص بالاسئلة
المهم ان تقترن هذه تقترن هذه المعلومات بمبادئ اخلاقية
منهج التخويف
منهج الصمت
منهج الاقناع
منهج المديح او النقد
منهج العارف بكل شئ خاص بالاسئلة
المهم ان تقترن هذه تقترن هذه المعلومات بمبادئ اخلاقية
December 6, 2022
Some interesting ideas, honest and instructive 😊
January 22, 2023
2.75/5
August 22, 2023
Niektóre rzeczy są faktycznie ciekawe, lecz niektóre po prostu mnie mocno znudziły i ledwo dotarłam do końca.
January 20, 2024
Jeśli oczekujesz, że dowiesz się konkretów to na to nie licz. Fajnie ukazuje na czym polega manipulacja i w jaki sposób jej używać.
February 21, 2024
Można się dowiedzieć ciekawych rzeczy
March 17, 2024
No taka sobie, coś tam może i wiedzy wyniosłam ale wątpię aby mi się to kiedykolwiek przydało w życiu
August 8, 2024
xd nie wiem co powiedzieć.
August 6, 2025
Although I gleaned some helpful thoughts from this, it was more useful for someone in a high-powered business situation than in everyday interaction with everyday people.
November 1, 2025
It can be shortened to like 30 pages.
August 16, 2012
This is a very deceptively-titled book, as it has absolutely nothing to do with body language. I thought I was going to be reading a book on non-verbal communication, and instead, I got a book about interrogation and manipulating people. Needless to say, I did not find this particularly enjoyable. I continued on, since the author proclaimed that I could use the information in that book to notice when I was being manipulated and combat those attempts. I did not get that from this book. What I got was a very cynical look at the human condition without nuance, and lacking in clear examples for the points the author attempted to make. This was neither an enjoyable, nor a useful book. I regret that I took the time to finish it.
December 25, 2022
Książka miała potencjał, zawierała podstawowe informacje takie jak np piramida Maslowa. Jednak informacje bardzo często powtarzały się. Podobało mi się ujęcie wielu ważnych aspektów, mimo wszystko czytając to książkę można poczuć się zachęconym do manipulacji, a nie takie są zamiary książek o tematyce psychologicznej. Warta przeczytania dla osób które znają się na rzeczy i które nie zamierzają wykorzystywać tego w życiu codziennym.
July 26, 2014
The beginning and introduction of this book seemed promising, but after reading it I don't think I came away from this with any "tools". It would be more helpful just to read 'how to win friends and influence people' and then apply those strategies in positive and negative ways...
July 7, 2025
Pół tej książki zajmuje ustawianie cech ludzi na krzywej dzwonowej, a drugie pół biografia autora podana w formie „przykładów”. Chciałoby się napisać, że wymęczyłem tą książkę dopiero za drugim podejściem, ale to raczej ona wymęczyła mnie.
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