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You Are Your Own: A Reckoning with the Religious Trauma of Evangelical Christianity
Rooted in her experiences growing up in an Evangelical Christian family, Jamie Lee Finch’s “You Are Your Own” offers an overview of Evangelicalism and the painful confusion and anxiety experienced under its demands. Finch explores the mechanisms of trauma and how fundamentalist denominations match the patterns connected with PTSD. She elaborates on the doubt, guilt, fear, and grief that haunt those leaving the Evangelical faith and offers an approach to help them recover healthy self-worth and resilience.A socio-historical autobiographical analysis of Evangelical Christianity's religious trauma, “You Are Your Own” emerges from Finch's reconnaissance on her own life—her journals, her stories, her trauma—and offers advocacy for everyone harmed by fundamentalist faith.Jamie Lee Finch is a sexuality and embodiment coach, intuitive healer, self-conversation facilitator, sex witch, and poet. You can learn about Jamie’s work at JamieLeeFinch.com
82 pages, ebook
First published June 20, 2019
167 people are currently reading
3140 people want to read
About the author
Jamie Lee Finch
1 book58 followersAs a survivor of both childhood trauma and religious trauma, I have a deep familiarity with the language used by those who come from authoritarian backgrounds and desire to return to a feeling of wholeness within their bodies — after years of assimilating to a belief that required them to separate from themselves.
I specialize in reframing the reality of embodiment through that language of relationship, and I work with individuals of all genders who consistently find within themselves an inability to connect with, communicate with, and successfully relate to their own bodies — physically, mentally, emotionally, and spiritually.
I specialize in reframing the reality of embodiment through that language of relationship, and I work with individuals of all genders who consistently find within themselves an inability to connect with, communicate with, and successfully relate to their own bodies — physically, mentally, emotionally, and spiritually.
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 235 reviews
October 28, 2019
An easy read, but not worth the time. Jamie Lee Finch is doing good work in the world, but I’d suggest just listening to her podcasts and interviews instead of reading this book. I really enjoyed listening to her- I now think I’ll enjoy those podcasts much less since reading this book.
My main critique of this book is there are so many sweeping generalizations about trauma, PTSD, psychotherapy, and religion and faith- and don’t get me wrong, a lot of research points to evangelicalism being incredibly unchecked and dangerous in terms of rhetoric and practice. However, the book is still problematic in the break down and generalizations of the aforementioned topics.
Having studied trauma, PTSD, and dissociation extensively (trauma psychotherapist), Finch inaccurately defines and describes many aspects trauma, PTSD, and trauma therapy. She also mixes up her traumatic upbringing and attachment trauma with her mother with religious trauma syndrome and treats them as they are one in the same.
This book felt as though it was a memoir disguised as an academic overview and most of the pages in the book felt confused in the same way. If you want to do your own research or learn more about trauma and religious trauma syndrome, I would recommend the bibliography in this book- most of those books are high quality sources of info around this topic.
My main critique of this book is there are so many sweeping generalizations about trauma, PTSD, psychotherapy, and religion and faith- and don’t get me wrong, a lot of research points to evangelicalism being incredibly unchecked and dangerous in terms of rhetoric and practice. However, the book is still problematic in the break down and generalizations of the aforementioned topics.
Having studied trauma, PTSD, and dissociation extensively (trauma psychotherapist), Finch inaccurately defines and describes many aspects trauma, PTSD, and trauma therapy. She also mixes up her traumatic upbringing and attachment trauma with her mother with religious trauma syndrome and treats them as they are one in the same.
This book felt as though it was a memoir disguised as an academic overview and most of the pages in the book felt confused in the same way. If you want to do your own research or learn more about trauma and religious trauma syndrome, I would recommend the bibliography in this book- most of those books are high quality sources of info around this topic.
April 4, 2019
This book shined light in dark corners of my soul I didn't know where still there.
April 13, 2019
Jamie Lee Finch has managed to clearly express so many things that I've been trying to say, but couldn't figure out how to put into words. She captures and describes the whole mindset of a person raised in the Evangelical environment. She describes the shame and the pain that come with it and the experiences of leaving it and learning to let go of everything you've been taught. This book is a hell of a ride!
January 26, 2020
Gosh, I really wanted this to be better. Jamie is a beautiful, poetic writer in her poetry and on social media, but that beauty didn't come through in the ways I assumed it would here. That is probably part of the problem: misaligned expectations.
With a title like "You Are Your Own," I, as an exvangelical reader, expected to be the audience. Instead, it was her thesis adviser. This is a master's thesis in book form, unfortunately unedited, and paradoxically too academic and too generalized to have the impact I hoped it might. While I did appreciate the introduction of Religious Trauma as a category and the resources supplied in her bibliography, the best part of the book was the last 40 pages about bodily impact and recovery. The first two-thirds read like a research proposal, an introduction to what will be the author's life's work. I know there's more to come from her, but I kinda wish I'd waited for book two. Or just realized it was a thesis at the outset.
With a title like "You Are Your Own," I, as an exvangelical reader, expected to be the audience. Instead, it was her thesis adviser. This is a master's thesis in book form, unfortunately unedited, and paradoxically too academic and too generalized to have the impact I hoped it might. While I did appreciate the introduction of Religious Trauma as a category and the resources supplied in her bibliography, the best part of the book was the last 40 pages about bodily impact and recovery. The first two-thirds read like a research proposal, an introduction to what will be the author's life's work. I know there's more to come from her, but I kinda wish I'd waited for book two. Or just realized it was a thesis at the outset.
May 15, 2019
Life changing. This book read me.
June 3, 2019
At the end of this eBook, Finch acknowledges that this is simply the first step in her larger goals and work in Religious Trauma and the body. I am ready for her to be publishing more.
While this book is short, it packs a punch. It is able to put words to the painful, confusing experience of working through trauma. While it reads a bit more like a proposal than a self help book, the bones are here for some incredibly interesting work.
The points she makes are believable and relatable. I wish she spoke more to recovery than explaining RTS since there are already a lot of resources on this subject. I am more interested in what her time working with clients has taught her and how I can use those techniques in my own life.
Looking forward to seeing what else is to come.
While this book is short, it packs a punch. It is able to put words to the painful, confusing experience of working through trauma. While it reads a bit more like a proposal than a self help book, the bones are here for some incredibly interesting work.
The points she makes are believable and relatable. I wish she spoke more to recovery than explaining RTS since there are already a lot of resources on this subject. I am more interested in what her time working with clients has taught her and how I can use those techniques in my own life.
Looking forward to seeing what else is to come.
February 4, 2021
I love Jamie Lee Finch and I think there is some great stuff in this book. If you're at the very beginning of your journey, this could be SO helpful for you.
But it's basically just an overview and doesn't get specific or deep, really. I didn't find it very helpful and I was pretty distracted by multiple mistakes/typos/errors. And while it was a short book, it also felt very long because the first half was just a bunch of repetition and sweeping generalizations.
Each chapter felt like an introduction filled with run-on sentences and she never got to the point or meat of the book. There were MULTIPLE places that could have been condensed and tightened, which would have left plenty of room for more personal and deep work.
Honestly, skip this book and instead do one or all of the following:
- Listen to Jamie Lee Finch's podcasts and any podcasts she's been on.
- Follow her on social media
- Read books like "The Body Keeps Score," "The Betrayal Bond," "Everything is Spiritual," "Love Wins," "Come As You Are," (Following are books I haven't read but heard good things about): "Religious Trauma Syndrome," "Attached," "Complex PTSD: From Surviving to Thriving," and "The Universal Christ."
But it's basically just an overview and doesn't get specific or deep, really. I didn't find it very helpful and I was pretty distracted by multiple mistakes/typos/errors. And while it was a short book, it also felt very long because the first half was just a bunch of repetition and sweeping generalizations.
Each chapter felt like an introduction filled with run-on sentences and she never got to the point or meat of the book. There were MULTIPLE places that could have been condensed and tightened, which would have left plenty of room for more personal and deep work.
Honestly, skip this book and instead do one or all of the following:
- Listen to Jamie Lee Finch's podcasts and any podcasts she's been on.
- Follow her on social media
- Read books like "The Body Keeps Score," "The Betrayal Bond," "Everything is Spiritual," "Love Wins," "Come As You Are," (Following are books I haven't read but heard good things about): "Religious Trauma Syndrome," "Attached," "Complex PTSD: From Surviving to Thriving," and "The Universal Christ."
July 5, 2020
I struggled with this one. I believe Finch’s work on embodiment is absolutely critical. The memoir portion of this book is beautifully written. As an ex-vangelical myself, the breakdown of the failures and traumas of evangelical Christianity are spot on. Her personal story is heart-breaking and her work on moving beyond is moving and inspiring.
Unfortunately, I fear she overplayed the role that trauma has on the body. I am a military physician experienced in PTSD, and I have been a specialist in immunology for over a decade. The last section on recovery appeared to lay autoimmune disease and even cancer solely at the feet of trauma. And as such she seemed to imply that trauma processing would lead to complete recovery from diseases like lupus. This radically simplifies human disease and creates a new fundamentalism in unfounded science (much of what was cited was not peer-reviewed and could be classified as pseudoscience). The message I received is that if I only processed my trauma enough I could be completely cured from all manner of disease. Evangelicals often look at disease as a failure of insufficient faith. Finch’s thesis looks at disease as a failure of insufficient therapy and trauma processing. Someone suffering from a disease like lupus would conclude that the presence of their disease can be completely explained by their trauma and failure to process it. Unfortunately this is a bridge too far. Certainly the mind-body connection is strong, but the science is still in its infancy, and we have so much to learn. The conclusions in this book are stated to strongly and confidently.
I know that C-PTSD, chronic anxiety, and depression increase morbidity in many of the disorders that I manage. Therapy, stress reduction, exercise, sleep, and nutrition are all very important adjuncts in management of chronic disease. But they are just that - adjuncts, not a panacea.
Unfortunately, I fear she overplayed the role that trauma has on the body. I am a military physician experienced in PTSD, and I have been a specialist in immunology for over a decade. The last section on recovery appeared to lay autoimmune disease and even cancer solely at the feet of trauma. And as such she seemed to imply that trauma processing would lead to complete recovery from diseases like lupus. This radically simplifies human disease and creates a new fundamentalism in unfounded science (much of what was cited was not peer-reviewed and could be classified as pseudoscience). The message I received is that if I only processed my trauma enough I could be completely cured from all manner of disease. Evangelicals often look at disease as a failure of insufficient faith. Finch’s thesis looks at disease as a failure of insufficient therapy and trauma processing. Someone suffering from a disease like lupus would conclude that the presence of their disease can be completely explained by their trauma and failure to process it. Unfortunately this is a bridge too far. Certainly the mind-body connection is strong, but the science is still in its infancy, and we have so much to learn. The conclusions in this book are stated to strongly and confidently.
I know that C-PTSD, chronic anxiety, and depression increase morbidity in many of the disorders that I manage. Therapy, stress reduction, exercise, sleep, and nutrition are all very important adjuncts in management of chronic disease. But they are just that - adjuncts, not a panacea.
January 5, 2020
An essential read for those leaving Evangelical Christianity!
September 8, 2019
A must-read for anyone who feels they were traumatized by religion! Author Jamie Lee Finch helps to legitimize the trauma - yes, trauma - many people experience within religious communities. No, you don't have to be in a cult to be spiritually abused. No, you don't have to be physically hurt to experience trauma. Yes, you have the right to say you suffer after-effects from harmful religious teachings (PTSD, sexual dysfunction, panic and anxiety disorders, and more.). While Finch writes from her own experience growing up in the Christian faith, the universal themes of suppressing emotion, stifling sexuality, and facing the life-shattering awakening of realizing what you once thought was good for you may actually have been bad apply to everyone who has dared to question their belief system.
July 17, 2020
Helped me explore my own religious indoctrination, the trauma from growing up in it, and leaving it behind. I never felt like I could call what happened to me trauma, until reading this book. Jamie is passionate about helping women heal and reconnect with their bodies...a much needed topic for those leaving religion.
February 19, 2020
I have a lot of mixed feelings about this book... several parts of the book hit me really hard, and I really needed to hear some of what the author wrote. But at the same time it’s not a very well written or put together book. I am looking forward to more writings from the author in the future.
March 6, 2021
good! more of a long research paper than a memoir, but it was helpful to read if only to confirm things for myself.
April 28, 2020
If I were one of the fish in David Foster Wallace's "This is Water" commencement speech analogy, You Are Your Own would be a book detailing the origins, behaviors, and consequences of my "water," what I've been swimming in--without necessarily noticing the minute details of--for the majority of my life. As such, this book was a balm for me in many ways.
Though the provocative cover may suggest otherwise, this book is not overly focused on sexuality. Instead, it mainly discusses how Evangelicalism plants a deep distrust of your body, your experiences, and your emotions and elaborates on the ramifications of that, ramifications of such heft that the author identifies them as trauma.
If anything, I wanted more from this book. It felt hurriedly written to meet a deadline when it could have been a fully-researched, well-supported full-length book. What exists, though, is undoubtedly worth reading, reflecting upon, and discussing for those intimately acquainted with Evangelicalism or not, as I look forward to doing.
Though the provocative cover may suggest otherwise, this book is not overly focused on sexuality. Instead, it mainly discusses how Evangelicalism plants a deep distrust of your body, your experiences, and your emotions and elaborates on the ramifications of that, ramifications of such heft that the author identifies them as trauma.
If anything, I wanted more from this book. It felt hurriedly written to meet a deadline when it could have been a fully-researched, well-supported full-length book. What exists, though, is undoubtedly worth reading, reflecting upon, and discussing for those intimately acquainted with Evangelicalism or not, as I look forward to doing.
January 25, 2020
Important Book
This is a helpful and informative book about the dangers of purity culture, a sort of “confrontation” of it, and Jamie offers instructive ways to heal from all the hurt it has come to so many of us.
This is a helpful and informative book about the dangers of purity culture, a sort of “confrontation” of it, and Jamie offers instructive ways to heal from all the hurt it has come to so many of us.
August 17, 2021
I've never related more personally to someone's story than I did here. Thank you for sharing and helping others work through religious trauma and find themselves.
December 13, 2023
I respect and relate to Jamie Finch’s story.
Though for such a short book, I wish it focused more on her journey and about the fundie cult she was in, but
I think this is a great book to pick up if you are at a starting point in your deconstruction journey and trying to make sense of the different ways religious trauma can express itself in day-to-day life. I understand the psychology already behind complex trauma and PTSD, so many of the chapters felt like an overview of things I already know, but still, I think this is essential literature and recommend it for anyone starting off or even if you are a Christian or not and trying to understand why people are having adverse reactions to growing up in Christian fundamentalism.
Though for such a short book, I wish it focused more on her journey and about the fundie cult she was in, but
I think this is a great book to pick up if you are at a starting point in your deconstruction journey and trying to make sense of the different ways religious trauma can express itself in day-to-day life. I understand the psychology already behind complex trauma and PTSD, so many of the chapters felt like an overview of things I already know, but still, I think this is essential literature and recommend it for anyone starting off or even if you are a Christian or not and trying to understand why people are having adverse reactions to growing up in Christian fundamentalism.
June 2, 2020
This book was recommended to me by a friend who has gone through similar experiences to me in struggling with the toxic after-effects of evangelicalism. I'm glad she suggested it - it was a useful and interesting read, that I ploughed through very quickly.
The book itself is quite short, and in it the author summarises the key aspects of modern evangelical belief, and then discusses the extremely damaging effects they can have, with particular reference to her own experience of attempting to fit in and win approval in the evangelical subculture. This didn't necessarily teach me anything new, but it really helped me to understand and quantify the effects of my own experience, and from that perspective it was extremely helpful. Like many books and articles I've read recently, it also helped me to understand that fundamentalist evangelical belief is especially damaging to women, as it treats them as impure and dirty, especially if they've had sex outside marriage, and holds them entirely responsible for every failure of men. It's really disgusting stuff.
The book introduced me to the concept of Religious Trauma Syndrome, which is certainly food for thought. Personally, I'd previously considered myself to have got off fairly lightly and left evangelicalism without too much damage, but more recently I've seen that I am in fact more messed up than I realised. This is starting to give me permission to understand why and how that happened. A key part of the book is about this granting of permission - to listen to ourselves, mentally, emotionally and physically. Former evangelicals are told what to think and not to trust anything that could be called an "inner voice" - we're constantly berated over how evil and corrupt this is, and it can be very, very hard for us to trust and accept our own judgements, and make decisions for ourselves about what is good for us.
I've long thought there might be a book inside me about my own faith experience and how I came to leave it, and a lot of what I'd like to talk about is touched upon here. It's a really good contribution towards an important debate, and something which is desperately needed. For all the unhappy, miserable and doubting evangelicals out there, there need to be kind, understanding voices that say "it's OK to feel the way you feel, and walking away from all of this is something you can do". I'm really glad the author has added her distinctive and valid voice to this, and I hope we'll hear more from her soon. People need to know they can be free, and they need the support and encouragement that the author can offer them.
The book itself is quite short, and in it the author summarises the key aspects of modern evangelical belief, and then discusses the extremely damaging effects they can have, with particular reference to her own experience of attempting to fit in and win approval in the evangelical subculture. This didn't necessarily teach me anything new, but it really helped me to understand and quantify the effects of my own experience, and from that perspective it was extremely helpful. Like many books and articles I've read recently, it also helped me to understand that fundamentalist evangelical belief is especially damaging to women, as it treats them as impure and dirty, especially if they've had sex outside marriage, and holds them entirely responsible for every failure of men. It's really disgusting stuff.
The book introduced me to the concept of Religious Trauma Syndrome, which is certainly food for thought. Personally, I'd previously considered myself to have got off fairly lightly and left evangelicalism without too much damage, but more recently I've seen that I am in fact more messed up than I realised. This is starting to give me permission to understand why and how that happened. A key part of the book is about this granting of permission - to listen to ourselves, mentally, emotionally and physically. Former evangelicals are told what to think and not to trust anything that could be called an "inner voice" - we're constantly berated over how evil and corrupt this is, and it can be very, very hard for us to trust and accept our own judgements, and make decisions for ourselves about what is good for us.
I've long thought there might be a book inside me about my own faith experience and how I came to leave it, and a lot of what I'd like to talk about is touched upon here. It's a really good contribution towards an important debate, and something which is desperately needed. For all the unhappy, miserable and doubting evangelicals out there, there need to be kind, understanding voices that say "it's OK to feel the way you feel, and walking away from all of this is something you can do". I'm really glad the author has added her distinctive and valid voice to this, and I hope we'll hear more from her soon. People need to know they can be free, and they need the support and encouragement that the author can offer them.
February 29, 2020
OWL Reading Challenge: Defense Against the Dark Arts
Jamie Lee Finch may have a reputation as a self-proclaimed sex witch and the kind of person that radiates 8 energy on her Twitter but she is also a talented writer. This book is validating to anyone growing up in a religious home where the theology itself was incredibly traumatizing. For those who grew up in homes where talking about hell, eternal damnation, the rapture, and purity culture were rarely if never present, Finch may seem to be exaggerating. She's not. Spend any time actually examining evangelical beliefs and the horrifying things wrapped up in pretty packages (or not so pretty) come out.
Many accounts from formal evangelicals are extreme, involving extreme abuse and lurid stories. Finch avoids such drama and focuses on basic beliefs, arguing that most evangelical beliefs are in themselves traumatizing. She centers her work in the body, especially since the body and soul are so often separated in modern Christian thought (I could go on a whole spiel about how that is a fairly modern invention and medieval Christianity was very different).
From my own experience, separation from my own moral code and internal control caused a lot of damage. I've had therapists mystified by lack of external locus of control and codependency. They never understood how religion can create such a relationship and system inside of a child. Because they were not raised in such a home and had little understanding of such beliefs, they can end up blaming patients for not developing the skills most kids learn much younger. (Apart of course from abuse.) Because religious trauma is insidious and often it's teachers are well-meaning, secular or progressive Christians can fail to recognize it. In some cases, they can blatantly deny it exists.
I was slightly disappointed that there was no mention of how to heal. The book felt like it was slightly unfinished, more of an introduction to religious trauma than a how-to guide. Finch is not a therapist and so perhaps she felt unqualified to give such advice. I would recommend getting a book on trauma for a more in-depth look at healing. Pete Walker's Complex PTSD is a good resource to use in tandem with this book. I hope Jamie Lee Finch writes part 2 of this book. (I'd love reading her sex witch advice lol).
Jamie Lee Finch may have a reputation as a self-proclaimed sex witch and the kind of person that radiates 8 energy on her Twitter but she is also a talented writer. This book is validating to anyone growing up in a religious home where the theology itself was incredibly traumatizing. For those who grew up in homes where talking about hell, eternal damnation, the rapture, and purity culture were rarely if never present, Finch may seem to be exaggerating. She's not. Spend any time actually examining evangelical beliefs and the horrifying things wrapped up in pretty packages (or not so pretty) come out.
Many accounts from formal evangelicals are extreme, involving extreme abuse and lurid stories. Finch avoids such drama and focuses on basic beliefs, arguing that most evangelical beliefs are in themselves traumatizing. She centers her work in the body, especially since the body and soul are so often separated in modern Christian thought (I could go on a whole spiel about how that is a fairly modern invention and medieval Christianity was very different).
From my own experience, separation from my own moral code and internal control caused a lot of damage. I've had therapists mystified by lack of external locus of control and codependency. They never understood how religion can create such a relationship and system inside of a child. Because they were not raised in such a home and had little understanding of such beliefs, they can end up blaming patients for not developing the skills most kids learn much younger. (Apart of course from abuse.) Because religious trauma is insidious and often it's teachers are well-meaning, secular or progressive Christians can fail to recognize it. In some cases, they can blatantly deny it exists.
I was slightly disappointed that there was no mention of how to heal. The book felt like it was slightly unfinished, more of an introduction to religious trauma than a how-to guide. Finch is not a therapist and so perhaps she felt unqualified to give such advice. I would recommend getting a book on trauma for a more in-depth look at healing. Pete Walker's Complex PTSD is a good resource to use in tandem with this book. I hope Jamie Lee Finch writes part 2 of this book. (I'd love reading her sex witch advice lol).
January 23, 2021
I don’t want to be overly critical but I want to leave this review for anyone who is really excited to read it, like I was. I didn’t think I had religious trauma, but I started to think maybe I had when I listened to the God is Grey podcast where Brenda hosted Laura Anderson. Brenda spoke of this book like it was the authority for Religious Trauma Syndrome, but Laura (a psychotherapist) explained that it isn’t really its own syndrome but just one kind of trauma.
They made me interested in the book but I was disappointed that it has that “self-published” vibe to it. She used APA citations which were very distracting as all the citations were in the text and not endnotes. There was also a giant font which I presume made the book seem longer. (But it is still very short, 120 pages, for being $20!)
I don’t know. I don’t want to sound mean. It just felt like a non academic without credentials trying to sound academic and failing and overall I got a weird vibe.
They made me interested in the book but I was disappointed that it has that “self-published” vibe to it. She used APA citations which were very distracting as all the citations were in the text and not endnotes. There was also a giant font which I presume made the book seem longer. (But it is still very short, 120 pages, for being $20!)
I don’t know. I don’t want to sound mean. It just felt like a non academic without credentials trying to sound academic and failing and overall I got a weird vibe.
August 17, 2019
So Jamie Lee Finch popped up in my twitter feed three weeks ago responding to a headline about that I Kissed Dating Goodbye guy. I’d never come across her or the idea of a sex witch. And then suddenly she was everywhere. She was on The Liturgists podcast sharing poetry and where she is headed on her journey. Most groundbreaking to me is that she calls her body her/she instead of it. So, I bought her book this morning when I woke up at 4 am unable to sleep. And I read it all today. And it was not the book I was expecting, but very much a book I needed. Thank you, Jamie for writing this book.
August 27, 2021
This book is essential reading for anyone coming out of evangelical Christianity. Though I have been on this journey for some time and many of the ideas were familiar to me, it is a comfort to know others have experienced the same effects as a result of religious trauma. It is very much a thesis in book form, but I'm into that kind of thing, and I admire Finch's passion for the topic and clear outlines of research.
May 10, 2020
I found this book really helpful in it's larger view of trauma and the evangelical church. Clear connections are made and some really helpful summaries are made of concepts that can feel disjointed. Her personal stories are helpful to hear and make her knowledge about trauma feel lived and real. It's short, sharp and super helpful in understanding Religious Trauma.
July 10, 2022
Religious trauma was first described in a book mentioned by the author called Leaving the Fold (Winell). This was also a good look at what those who leave are up against, healing wise.
A few stand out quotes:
P64 "Religious Trauma is difficult to recognize or validate in the mental health world because of the cultural assumptions that religion does more good than harm and that belief is universally beneficial. Not all forms of belief deserves to be viewed this way... It erodes the natural contentment and confidence, the healthy human needs with which most children begin life..."
P67 "Fundamentalist Evangelicalism is toxic, traumatic, and extremely dangerous. Those of us who have found our way out are not rare cases where healthy doctrine was simply expressed in an unhealthy manner (i.e.,"imperfect people serving a perfect god", etc.)... We are indicative of the greater, underlying dysfunction of the entire system."
I have to mention one of the end sections where she talks about the mind body connection. I definitely buy that what's going on psychologically can affect the body. Absolutely. But rather concerningly, she appears to attribute her clients becoming free of a variety of diseases including cancer to talk therapy. I don't know about drawing that conclusion. And maybe her wording avoids this direct cause effect relationship - but it comes too close for my comfort and understanding of science. But I will give her that a healthy mind or outlook does help the immune system and support better physical outcomes.
This bit didn't detract from the overall message. I'd still recommend it.
A few stand out quotes:
P64 "Religious Trauma is difficult to recognize or validate in the mental health world because of the cultural assumptions that religion does more good than harm and that belief is universally beneficial. Not all forms of belief deserves to be viewed this way... It erodes the natural contentment and confidence, the healthy human needs with which most children begin life..."
P67 "Fundamentalist Evangelicalism is toxic, traumatic, and extremely dangerous. Those of us who have found our way out are not rare cases where healthy doctrine was simply expressed in an unhealthy manner (i.e.,"imperfect people serving a perfect god", etc.)... We are indicative of the greater, underlying dysfunction of the entire system."
I have to mention one of the end sections where she talks about the mind body connection. I definitely buy that what's going on psychologically can affect the body. Absolutely. But rather concerningly, she appears to attribute her clients becoming free of a variety of diseases including cancer to talk therapy. I don't know about drawing that conclusion. And maybe her wording avoids this direct cause effect relationship - but it comes too close for my comfort and understanding of science. But I will give her that a healthy mind or outlook does help the immune system and support better physical outcomes.
This bit didn't detract from the overall message. I'd still recommend it.
October 15, 2023
[audio] 4/5
Thankful for the work this does to validate the pain caused by fundamentalist beliefs and the grief and trauma that follows leaving the only system you've ever known.
This work is helpful for mental health workers, people who have significant others that have left evangelical christianity, and for the dear ones who have personally left that system but....I'm not sure when because many years "post", therapy, and much self work and this was still raw, tender, and bit too true at times and it took me awhile to engage with it. So just be gentle with yourself.
Also....this is not an exhaustive in depth study of religious trauma and the author relies on her own story as well as other anecdotal sources to make her point. Critiques have been that she did not handle the discussion on PTSD accurately as well as a few other details that should remain clinical in nature rather than applied to large groups of people.
I personally cringed when chronic and autoimmune conditions were discussed as aspects of trauma and thus could be "healed" primarily through emotional work. That was one tiny section and does not invalidate how seen and heard I felt throughout this journey.
Thankful for the work this does to validate the pain caused by fundamentalist beliefs and the grief and trauma that follows leaving the only system you've ever known.
This work is helpful for mental health workers, people who have significant others that have left evangelical christianity, and for the dear ones who have personally left that system but....I'm not sure when because many years "post", therapy, and much self work and this was still raw, tender, and bit too true at times and it took me awhile to engage with it. So just be gentle with yourself.
Also....this is not an exhaustive in depth study of religious trauma and the author relies on her own story as well as other anecdotal sources to make her point. Critiques have been that she did not handle the discussion on PTSD accurately as well as a few other details that should remain clinical in nature rather than applied to large groups of people.
I personally cringed when chronic and autoimmune conditions were discussed as aspects of trauma and thus could be "healed" primarily through emotional work. That was one tiny section and does not invalidate how seen and heard I felt throughout this journey.
August 3, 2021
This book touched on a lot of the topics that I relate to and a lot of the experiences that I’ve seen in the world and the problems that are present within evangelical Christianity. The only item I have with this is that there were a lot of spelling errors and it felt very repetitive, but I still appreciated the author’s voice and what they had to say, particularly about reclaiming the connection to one’s self and the inner voice, rather than outside sources or the ideas one has been taught. As someone who still believes, it was a good reminder to me to be conscious of the information I take in and to know that not everything I’ve been taught has been good but that there are still things to hold on to and to reshape and learn. I would recommend this to anyone trying to unlearn harmful religious beliefs or who is interested in learning more about the topic of religious trauma. It’s a very short read and has a fairly easy writing style and flow to comprehend.
May 31, 2023
This is a quick read which I picked up out of interest, having been raised in cult-like religion that espoused purity culture. I relate to many of the experiences and the mindset that Jamie discusses, and I think that she is doing incredible and important work. I can imagine that for individuals just beginning to question their lived experienced with authoritarian religion, this may serve as an important and validating read. The reason for my 2 star review is because as a book itself, the content feels unfocused; it is neither a purely academically researched book nor a memoir, but tries to be both, and Jamie glosses over huge topics like PTSD in ways that feel incomplete and hard to tackle simplistically. I think the book tries to do too much with too little, and at the same time felt redundant.
February 11, 2020
3.5 stars. Listening to Jamie Lee Finch talk about religious trauma was an eye openening experience. While I grew up Catholic, not Evangelical, there was some overlap where I found myself nodding along while reading, especially about purity culture. While the book is informative, I found that I was getting more helpful and meaningful information by listening to the MANY podcasts she guested on. I'd suggest listening to her on the Chatty Broads podcast and The Life After podcast to start.
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