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It's Just Us Here #4
The Lover
An asexual man falls in love with a male model... and is introduced to the fine art of getting down.
Chris and Mark are officially a couple... though Chris isn't out to his parents. Mark, on the other hand, is trying to mend his broken relationships with his father and grandfather.
Their new romance is a source of stability for Mark and chaos for Chris. Together they navigate the many pitfalls of their newly sexual intimacy. Meanwhile, Chris can't keep his family out of the loop forever because his mother is an especially gifted amateur sleuth.
Also, it doesn't help that Mark wants to show off their romance like a first grader who brought a puppy to show-and-tell.
[The Lover is Book Four in a ten book series. You can read this as the beginning of a four book "Lovers and Second Chances" story arc. You should probably read the first three books to understand the fullness of the characters, but this isn't strictly necessary. Book One, Book Four and Book Eight all serve as 'jumping in' points for the series.
It's Just Us Here: The Lover is a 120,000 word journey of two men making a life together, staking out personal boundaries and gently adding sexual exploration to their intense emotional relationship.]
Chris and Mark are officially a couple... though Chris isn't out to his parents. Mark, on the other hand, is trying to mend his broken relationships with his father and grandfather.
Their new romance is a source of stability for Mark and chaos for Chris. Together they navigate the many pitfalls of their newly sexual intimacy. Meanwhile, Chris can't keep his family out of the loop forever because his mother is an especially gifted amateur sleuth.
Also, it doesn't help that Mark wants to show off their romance like a first grader who brought a puppy to show-and-tell.
[The Lover is Book Four in a ten book series. You can read this as the beginning of a four book "Lovers and Second Chances" story arc. You should probably read the first three books to understand the fullness of the characters, but this isn't strictly necessary. Book One, Book Four and Book Eight all serve as 'jumping in' points for the series.
It's Just Us Here: The Lover is a 120,000 word journey of two men making a life together, staking out personal boundaries and gently adding sexual exploration to their intense emotional relationship.]
395 pages, Kindle Edition
First published April 9, 2019
8 people are currently reading
148 people want to read
About the author
Christopher X. Sullivan
18 books142 followersHello,
I write all kinds of books. This pen name will mostly be MM focused.
In 2018 I started publishing my self-portrait, It's Just Us Here. Then I took a little break. Then covid break.
Now I'm back! I'll be more active on my newsletter (through substack) or on Patreon (for super readers and pre-orders!) or eventually I hope to set up a website.
Best,
Chris
I write all kinds of books. This pen name will mostly be MM focused.
In 2018 I started publishing my self-portrait, It's Just Us Here. Then I took a little break. Then covid break.
Now I'm back! I'll be more active on my newsletter (through substack) or on Patreon (for super readers and pre-orders!) or eventually I hope to set up a website.
Best,
Chris
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Displaying 1 - 19 of 19 reviews
April 21, 2019
*4,5 stars*
First of all: You are a tease, Chris!
That last sentence in book 3 sent shock waves through me. I was utterly relieved to find out that Chris and Mark did not convert the spare room to their very own ‘red room of pain’! 😉 Saying that, elements of BDSM do occur, I will explain in a second.
Moving from close companions to lovers is a huge step for both, Chris and Mark.
I had no idea what to expect and how on earth Chris would be able to cope.
If you are expecting their first time to be an all romantic, sweet and sensitive affair … that is what happens in romance novels, but RL is a bit different. Tbh, that scene did break me a little bit.
I felt so much compassion for both men:
Their first time stands in stark contrast to what happens in Milan.
What Mark does here is pretty mind-blowing. And cutting edge. (I must admit I would have loved Mark's POV here, too!)
But as much as Chris ‘resists’ and however much he might moan – Exhibitionism and dom/sub role play do seem to work for him. It was like Chris relearning some of his body reactions, taking notice of surprising likes and responses.
Cuddling and kissing will (I think) always be his kryptonite and ‘go-to display of affection’, but what happens in Milan shows Chris something new about himself and allows him to be part of the ‘action’, rather than reciting verb declinations to take his mind off it.
That’s the way I read it, but it would feel presumptuous to assume that I’ve got this right. Sorry, Chris, if I haven’t!
Apart from that, I loved:
.) the constant banter between the two (exchanging the words ‘heart and ‘dick’ works out hilariously)
.) psycho Chris (Where the heck does that come from? 😁)
.) Chris’s fab new flatmates
.) Chris passion for orchids (check out that cover again and see what you can find!)
.) Chris meeting all of Mark’s family.
Yeap, and that last point brings up the elephant in the room. Chris is still not out to his parents. He has mentioned it in passing, like ‘I really should do this’, but I don’t get the impressions that he is consciously thinking about it, at least not on page. Tbh, we have heard very little about his parents.
Considering how many details we get about lots of other people, they have remained very much in the background. Is that Chris compartmentalizing them, trying to push a problem away? Well, it’s utterly human and understandable, but Mark has been asking and hoping for him to take that step, and I wonder if Chris’s reluctance is part of what causes the Big Fight.
We’ll find out soon enough when book 4 comes out!
This is certainly compulsive reading!
First of all: You are a tease, Chris!
That last sentence in book 3 sent shock waves through me. I was utterly relieved to find out that Chris and Mark did not convert the spare room to their very own ‘red room of pain’! 😉 Saying that, elements of BDSM do occur, I will explain in a second.
Moving from close companions to lovers is a huge step for both, Chris and Mark.
I had no idea what to expect and how on earth Chris would be able to cope.
If you are expecting their first time to be an all romantic, sweet and sensitive affair … that is what happens in romance novels, but RL is a bit different. Tbh, that scene did break me a little bit.
I felt so much compassion for both men:
Their first time stands in stark contrast to what happens in Milan.
What Mark does here is pretty mind-blowing. And cutting edge. (I must admit I would have loved Mark's POV here, too!)
But as much as Chris ‘resists’ and however much he might moan – Exhibitionism and dom/sub role play do seem to work for him. It was like Chris relearning some of his body reactions, taking notice of surprising likes and responses.
Cuddling and kissing will (I think) always be his kryptonite and ‘go-to display of affection’, but what happens in Milan shows Chris something new about himself and allows him to be part of the ‘action’, rather than reciting verb declinations to take his mind off it.
That’s the way I read it, but it would feel presumptuous to assume that I’ve got this right. Sorry, Chris, if I haven’t!
Apart from that, I loved:
.) the constant banter between the two (exchanging the words ‘heart and ‘dick’ works out hilariously)
.) psycho Chris (Where the heck does that come from? 😁)
.) Chris’s fab new flatmates
.) Chris passion for orchids (check out that cover again and see what you can find!)
.) Chris meeting all of Mark’s family.
Yeap, and that last point brings up the elephant in the room. Chris is still not out to his parents. He has mentioned it in passing, like ‘I really should do this’, but I don’t get the impressions that he is consciously thinking about it, at least not on page. Tbh, we have heard very little about his parents.
Considering how many details we get about lots of other people, they have remained very much in the background. Is that Chris compartmentalizing them, trying to push a problem away? Well, it’s utterly human and understandable, but Mark has been asking and hoping for him to take that step, and I wonder if Chris’s reluctance is part of what causes the Big Fight.
We’ll find out soon enough when book 4 comes out!
This is certainly compulsive reading!
October 15, 2018
Just finished my beta for the 4th book in the "It's just Us Here" series which will be published next year.
Reading "The Lover" after the emotional storms in the first three books was like going on a honeymoon.
I can't wait to read the 5th book. Storms are coming again. :)
These books are going to get published next year. You're going to be in for a treat :D
Reading "The Lover" after the emotional storms in the first three books was like going on a honeymoon.
I can't wait to read the 5th book. Storms are coming again. :)
These books are going to get published next year. You're going to be in for a treat :D
April 14, 2019
Re-read 14/04/2019:
Never a dull moment with these two and their gang. :)
I'm so rooting for the other couples too! *.*
------------------------------
In this installment we got to know more of Mark's family, and if you thought you knew what you got yourself into with this series, you ain't seen nothing yet. Mark's fam is crazy big. I wonder about Christmas, with both of their families, or that book party... How the hell did they fit into Mark's apartment I've no idea.
Have I mentioned the northeast wind that blew into Chris' life with a ferocious and all consuming strength, that destroyed everything in it's path. Just a hint: it isn't Mark this time. I call it: THE MELANIE.
.. 😂 😂 LOL no, I'm kidding. It's true that Melanie is plenty intimidating, she's the life of the party and a tad irresponsible and she's a lot like her brother. She must be a fun chick to be around... From a safe distance.. 😂 But she's also caring and sweet and hella strong.
Mark and Chris established their relationship status as boyfriends (or partners as Chris prefers it) in the last installment. The dynamic hasn't changed, they're still playful and goofy, I love that about them. But now they (mostly Mark) were trying to stretch the boundaries and find a common ground in their sexual preferences.
You might think that Mark had it easy, and between him and Chris he adjusted more effortlessly to the changes that Chris' presence brought in his life, because he's so easygoing. And that might be true, but it wasn't a smooth sail.
This is Chris' memoir and we're focusing on him mostly, but Mark struggled too, maybe he just didn't show it. So while in these past three books I saw that not only Chris struggled to adjust to the changes, but Mark had a hard time too. I saw that before, don't get me wrong, I wasn't oblivious all this time. But I didn't really stop to think about it. Mark is a sexual person (that sounds weird when I say it like that lol) and Chris is not. They had to find a middle ground, but why would it be easier for a sexual person to let go of his wants, than an asexual to let go of his limits. It shouldn't be. And in this book, somehow I was able to direct my focus on Mark more. There was one scene in particular that opened my eyes more. I'm not telling which one was it, I'll let you arrive to your own conclusions. I think sometimes Mark played up his laid-back, easygoing attitude when it came to the subject of his affection, but inside he must've been terrified he would screw it up.
When I say they had to find a middle-ground, I don't just mean the sex. It would've been so easy for Chris to say "F it, I love this man, I want to be with him all the time, he wants to be with me all the time, why don't I just move in with him?" I mean, they were spending a lot of time together and it would've made sense to just move in with each other. But that's what I love about these men. They don't go the easy route. Well... Chris doesn't. Even if Mark tries to sway him. I love that he's independent and when he says no that means NO, and he puts his foot down.
At this point in their relationship I imagine Chris's mind was adorned with pictures of Mark - Mark smiling, his eyes full with love; Mark pouting, and goofing around - and his name was playing on a loop in his head. I think It's still that way to this day. :)
And I love that he always manages to end his books on an emotionally high note, which I'm very grateful for.
Book 4 of the series It's Just Us Here is everything you loved in the previous books, but also... You know when you read a book that ends with a HEA and you wish it hadn't ended, because you want more. This is the more. 🤩
*this book was provided by the author for beta-reading purposes.*
Never a dull moment with these two and their gang. :)
I'm so rooting for the other couples too! *.*
------------------------------
In this installment we got to know more of Mark's family, and if you thought you knew what you got yourself into with this series, you ain't seen nothing yet. Mark's fam is crazy big. I wonder about Christmas, with both of their families, or that book party... How the hell did they fit into Mark's apartment I've no idea.
Have I mentioned the northeast wind that blew into Chris' life with a ferocious and all consuming strength, that destroyed everything in it's path. Just a hint: it isn't Mark this time. I call it: THE MELANIE.
.. 😂 😂 LOL no, I'm kidding. It's true that Melanie is plenty intimidating, she's the life of the party and a tad irresponsible and she's a lot like her brother. She must be a fun chick to be around... From a safe distance.. 😂 But she's also caring and sweet and hella strong.
Mark and Chris established their relationship status as boyfriends (or partners as Chris prefers it) in the last installment. The dynamic hasn't changed, they're still playful and goofy, I love that about them. But now they (mostly Mark) were trying to stretch the boundaries and find a common ground in their sexual preferences.
You might think that Mark had it easy, and between him and Chris he adjusted more effortlessly to the changes that Chris' presence brought in his life, because he's so easygoing. And that might be true, but it wasn't a smooth sail.
This is Chris' memoir and we're focusing on him mostly, but Mark struggled too, maybe he just didn't show it. So while in these past three books I saw that not only Chris struggled to adjust to the changes, but Mark had a hard time too. I saw that before, don't get me wrong, I wasn't oblivious all this time. But I didn't really stop to think about it. Mark is a sexual person (that sounds weird when I say it like that lol) and Chris is not. They had to find a middle ground, but why would it be easier for a sexual person to let go of his wants, than an asexual to let go of his limits. It shouldn't be. And in this book, somehow I was able to direct my focus on Mark more. There was one scene in particular that opened my eyes more. I'm not telling which one was it, I'll let you arrive to your own conclusions. I think sometimes Mark played up his laid-back, easygoing attitude when it came to the subject of his affection, but inside he must've been terrified he would screw it up.
When I say they had to find a middle-ground, I don't just mean the sex. It would've been so easy for Chris to say "F it, I love this man, I want to be with him all the time, he wants to be with me all the time, why don't I just move in with him?" I mean, they were spending a lot of time together and it would've made sense to just move in with each other. But that's what I love about these men. They don't go the easy route. Well... Chris doesn't. Even if Mark tries to sway him. I love that he's independent and when he says no that means NO, and he puts his foot down.
At this point in their relationship I imagine Chris's mind was adorned with pictures of Mark - Mark smiling, his eyes full with love; Mark pouting, and goofing around - and his name was playing on a loop in his head. I think It's still that way to this day. :)
And I love that he always manages to end his books on an emotionally high note, which I'm very grateful for.
Book 4 of the series It's Just Us Here is everything you loved in the previous books, but also... You know when you read a book that ends with a HEA and you wish it hadn't ended, because you want more. This is the more. 🤩
*this book was provided by the author for beta-reading purposes.*
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March 10, 2019
After the intense rollercoaster that was book three, this fourth book is such a treat! Lots and lots of lovely scenes of Chris and Mark being silly newly-in-loves and officially coming out to friends and family as a couple.
The post-HEA part – here we get to follow Chris through many first moments of a new relationship. Meeting Mark's family and the worries about fitting in with them all. (I can so sympathise!) Hanging out with Mark's friends as a couple. Chris' battle to get Mark to accept his friends. (I can so relate!) And the challenge to maintain a balance between the deep need to please your new partner vs maintaining your own independence, wants and wishes; all while you're completely besotted. A lot easier said than done, in my experience.
Something I've enjoyed a lot in all four books so far, but failed to mention much in my reviews, is to glimpse a relationship through the eyes of someone who's asexual. I still think there's more sexuals and asexuals have in common when they fall in love than what sets them apart, but in certain situations instincts and reaction differs. Not all intimate scenes make a comfortable read, but did make me reflect on expectations and norms. To let readers in to see the good, bad and the ugly like the author does in this story takes bravery. What comes out of it is beauty.
(This book was provided for free by the author for the purpose to beta-read prior to publication.)
The post-HEA part – here we get to follow Chris through many first moments of a new relationship. Meeting Mark's family and the worries about fitting in with them all. (I can so sympathise!) Hanging out with Mark's friends as a couple. Chris' battle to get Mark to accept his friends. (I can so relate!) And the challenge to maintain a balance between the deep need to please your new partner vs maintaining your own independence, wants and wishes; all while you're completely besotted. A lot easier said than done, in my experience.
Something I've enjoyed a lot in all four books so far, but failed to mention much in my reviews, is to glimpse a relationship through the eyes of someone who's asexual. I still think there's more sexuals and asexuals have in common when they fall in love than what sets them apart, but in certain situations instincts and reaction differs. Not all intimate scenes make a comfortable read, but did make me reflect on expectations and norms. To let readers in to see the good, bad and the ugly like the author does in this story takes bravery. What comes out of it is beauty.
(This book was provided for free by the author for the purpose to beta-read prior to publication.)
Read
June 25, 2019Going into this book I knew what to expect in terms of Chris and Mark's relationship. But I have to say it did make me a bit uncomfortable reading about it.
There were two scenes here that I didn't enjoy.
As for the rest of the story, I really liked it. It was wonderful to see how much they care about each other and how hard they try to find balance in their relationship.
I'm not rating this one, because it wouldn't be fair to rate someone's life based on my personal discomfort with some parts of the story.
There were two scenes here that I didn't enjoy.
As for the rest of the story, I really liked it. It was wonderful to see how much they care about each other and how hard they try to find balance in their relationship.
I'm not rating this one, because it wouldn't be fair to rate someone's life based on my personal discomfort with some parts of the story.
July 22, 2019
This book was, in a lot of ways, darker than the previous books, both in regards to the events that occurred and in relation to character traits that were revealed during the course of the book, leaving this book with a very different feel than the previous books.
Also, for some reason, this book felt incredibly long. I've actually read books that Goodreads says are longer, but this book really felt it. I'm not sure if Goodreads is messing up the page count (possible) or if the content made it feel that way (also possible), but I really felt this book. It felt weighty in some ways. If I wasn't pushing to get done with it because of my limited KU access, I might have given it more time. I still think I would have finished it, but I might have worked my way through it at a slower pace.
I really wish that there were more books by asexual people, though. I want this book to be one of many, rather than probably the only one I've ever read. I want to compare it to see the various experiences, not just say, "This is the only experience other than my own that I've seen in real depth." Because honestly, I like reading about Chris and Mark, but it's also very obvious that any relationship that I have wouldn't be even close to the relationship that Chris and Mark have. Which is absolutely fine, but the lack of representation for asexual people by asexual people makes that kind of rough. Ugh.
Also, for some reason, this book felt incredibly long. I've actually read books that Goodreads says are longer, but this book really felt it. I'm not sure if Goodreads is messing up the page count (possible) or if the content made it feel that way (also possible), but I really felt this book. It felt weighty in some ways. If I wasn't pushing to get done with it because of my limited KU access, I might have given it more time. I still think I would have finished it, but I might have worked my way through it at a slower pace.
I really wish that there were more books by asexual people, though. I want this book to be one of many, rather than probably the only one I've ever read. I want to compare it to see the various experiences, not just say, "This is the only experience other than my own that I've seen in real depth." Because honestly, I like reading about Chris and Mark, but it's also very obvious that any relationship that I have wouldn't be even close to the relationship that Chris and Mark have. Which is absolutely fine, but the lack of representation for asexual people by asexual people makes that kind of rough. Ugh.
May 8, 2019
This installment had a great deal of things going on and more sexual interactions. Chris finally moves out of his parents and into an apartment that Mark hates. It also brings in some new people that I enjoyed reading. I enjoyed Suhail and Nick and also like the interactions between them and Mark's sister. We also get to see a lot more of Mark's family and wealth laying behind Mark. The fact that Chris hasn't told his parents about his relationship is still boiling in this book and I look for it to overflow soon.
The last part of this book went a little bit further out into the deep end of pushing Chris to the limit on sex and submission. At times I felt a little bit uneasy at the dynamic between Chris and Mark. Mark's pushing is hard and seems based solely on the fact Chris is excited physically so its ok. Yet after each scene that left me feeling uneasy the narrative branches off in to why Chris was ultimately ok with what happened.
The last part of this book went a little bit further out into the deep end of pushing Chris to the limit on sex and submission. At times I felt a little bit uneasy at the dynamic between Chris and Mark. Mark's pushing is hard and seems based solely on the fact Chris is excited physically so its ok. Yet after each scene that left me feeling uneasy the narrative branches off in to why Chris was ultimately ok with what happened.
April 18, 2019
Wow. Just...wow. Let me just pull myself together so I can write this long ass review. Trust me, this book deserves one.
This is honestly one of the best books I have ever read. I am so happy that this is a memoir, and these two "dudes" truly have this amazing relationship. It makes me cry (happy tears), and throughout the entire book, my heart was just exploding for them!
I am so PROUD of Chris for stepping out of his comfort zone so much in this book! I just could not get over that in the last books, how it seemed like Chris was so stubborn about everything!! (I don't mean sex) He really surprised me with this one- going to the club, and dancing, meeting all the friends and family. He went to Milan (though I didn't understand the freak out about Mark tricking him into going). Once Chris opened up to their relationship, he just BLOOMED! I have always loved Chris' quirks, I think he's such a neat person. (Mark too) This book really shows us those quirks as Chris gets more comfortable with being in a partnership with a man.
I also like how he compromised in this book, but still stood his ground with things like his writing. It was important to him, and he made sure not to lose that part of himself.
I just love Mark, and Chris together. They are like the definition of soul mates. I thought the part where Chris said he wanted to write, and show people what he sees in Mark, and wants readers to fall in love with Mark, as he did...just so beautiful. I am so invested in this story (because of BOTH men).
I feel like it was really brave to publish these books, and allowing the world to see these most intimate parts of their relationship. I'll definitely need to prepare myself before reading the book with "the big fight". Thank you for letting us know it ends happily first, because I just don't think I could take it if these two didn't get their HEA. 10 stars for this installment! Incredible.
This is honestly one of the best books I have ever read. I am so happy that this is a memoir, and these two "dudes" truly have this amazing relationship. It makes me cry (happy tears), and throughout the entire book, my heart was just exploding for them!
I am so PROUD of Chris for stepping out of his comfort zone so much in this book! I just could not get over that in the last books, how it seemed like Chris was so stubborn about everything!! (I don't mean sex) He really surprised me with this one- going to the club, and dancing, meeting all the friends and family. He went to Milan (though I didn't understand the freak out about Mark tricking him into going). Once Chris opened up to their relationship, he just BLOOMED! I have always loved Chris' quirks, I think he's such a neat person. (Mark too) This book really shows us those quirks as Chris gets more comfortable with being in a partnership with a man.
I also like how he compromised in this book, but still stood his ground with things like his writing. It was important to him, and he made sure not to lose that part of himself.
I just love Mark, and Chris together. They are like the definition of soul mates. I thought the part where Chris said he wanted to write, and show people what he sees in Mark, and wants readers to fall in love with Mark, as he did...just so beautiful. I am so invested in this story (because of BOTH men).
I feel like it was really brave to publish these books, and allowing the world to see these most intimate parts of their relationship. I'll definitely need to prepare myself before reading the book with "the big fight". Thank you for letting us know it ends happily first, because I just don't think I could take it if these two didn't get their HEA. 10 stars for this installment! Incredible.
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
March 22, 2019
So this got juicy in NO time! We follow Mark and Chris as their relationship blooms and things get super kinky by the end of this book. Don't worry! There's lots of cuddles and terms of endearment that Chris kind of hates but that makes them all the better. The families get involve although there's still people that have no idea what Chris has been up to. There's drag so dive in!
I was given a copy for beta reading purposes.
I was given a copy for beta reading purposes.
May 13, 2019
I LOVE this series of memoirs. I am completely hooked and cannot wait to get my hands on all of them. This book has been mind-blowing for me in so many ways. I absolutely love the push and pull in Chris and Mark's relationship. So many parts had me laughing out loud, cringing or swooning in equal measure. I kept having to remind myself, wow this is actually someone's real life and not make believe. The scene with 'psycho' Chris was so compelling I loved seeing that side of him. And the entire Milan trip down to the last scene was so unbelievably well written. I loved Chris's reactions to his own body in the dom/sub and exhibitionist roles. I had a strange love/hate for Mark pushing him beyond his boundaries at some points because I understood the importance of finding that balance between what Chris (and their relationship) could handle but then was like 'stop it's too much!' at other times. All in all, this was a fantastic read and I highly recommend reading all of the books in order and not as standalones so that everything makes sense.
July 26, 2019
The tangents in the narrative are starting to irk me less.
The sex in this is a bit awkward to read and I think that comes down to how uncomfortable Chris comes off and that Mark doesnt always appear to respect that.
But I think the fact that the relationship is a bit shaky, both in and out of the bedroom is understandable, considering the sexual and socioeconomic differences between these two... that and they kinda suck at communicating.
The sex in this is a bit awkward to read and I think that comes down to how uncomfortable Chris comes off and that Mark doesnt always appear to respect that.
But I think the fact that the relationship is a bit shaky, both in and out of the bedroom is understandable, considering the sexual and socioeconomic differences between these two... that and they kinda suck at communicating.
March 18, 2020
Book 4 was a LOT of fun! For Mark, for Chris, and for me, I loved it. A lot less tension, although there was a bit, and a more relaxed Chris, less second-guessing and over-thinking. A hell of a lot more sex too, with Chris getting into it a little more, although he's still struggling a bit but does it for Mark.
The author continually writing an amazing and compelling story, the continual hints and peeks into the future are sweet little tidbits that keeps me wanting more.
The author continually writing an amazing and compelling story, the continual hints and peeks into the future are sweet little tidbits that keeps me wanting more.
December 17, 2023
It was very sweet and tender (and also fun and playful) at some parts, and very awkward and extremely uncomfortable to read at others - but mostly I think this is such an important description of a loving relationship given huge differences in the sexual needs between the partners. It oddly (or maybe not so much) made me think mostly about M/F romance, and how I wish it was written more like that, at least sometimes. To this day there are still enormous differences in cultural perceptions and expectations from men and women about what is generally called "their sexual needs", as every girl who ever read a teen magazine (especially 20+ years ago) knows. Women, especially from an older generation, are generally expected not to (necessarily) enjoy or "need" sex, but still to do it for their man, and neither side sees this as a major relationship problem - at best, it's a mild discomfort or a worn out joke, and usually has nothing to do with a specific ace identification. This made me think about how different - and sometimes similar - might be the experience for a man, and how much effort it takes in this book to explain what is mostly casual from an older woman's perspective (though Mark IS unusually wild in this area, and therefore the many uncomfortable scenes, and the many warnings about them in the previous books). I principally agree with Chris that it would probably be easier for him to be in a relationship with a woman, especially the traditional timid kind that was taught to "lay on your back and think of England", and they might be mostly happy and comfortable together, given of course that they actually fall in love and want to maintain a real long-term partnership. Unfortunately (or not?), love isn't something we choose, and I don't believe it's supposed to be easy and comfortable either - it is supposed to be a deep and meaningful life event, that changes us and makes two individuals into one unit. So I still love Chris and Mark's journey to find their balance and fulfill the needs of them both, alongside many necessary compromises and a lot of healthy communication. We're not there yet, and the next book seems to be way worse, but many huge gaps need to be bridged above here, so it's understandable. I do wish more books, especially M/F romances, would highlight this perspective - the usual female representation in a romance is so far from anything a real woman might experience, that it's not even funny.
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August 27, 2021I’m looking for books with asexuals MCs, I was happy to have those but thank fuck I’ce read the reviews if the first 5 books and it turned out the asexual one is not asexual at all. And when they decided to have sex, they started by BDSM? You gotta be kidding me!! He’s probably demi ou sexually fluid.
And seems like in the 5th book they’re very active sexually.
I have hard time believing this is the real story of the author. I know there are exceptions and you can have sexual desires but not being attracted to other people. I’m asexual, sure I was confused for many years and I knew something was wrong with me because I have never been really attracted to men and I have never liked sex ( but I enjoy reading about or watching some sexual activities most of the time) I tried more than once to understand what was the problem and when I learned there are many sexual orientation. I thought in the beginning maybe I was demi because I loved having emotional connection with someone, being very close, cuddling and kissing but nothing more. Sadly I’lI end up single and lonely, there aren’t asexual men where I live, most of them are obsessed with sex 😆
Anyway, I tied again and I felt the same time so I knew I was obviously asexuel. I have sexual desires and when I think about sex to maybe get satisfaction, I feel uncomfortable and sometimes disgusted. I’ve always struggled with being sexually touched. Don’t judge me 😅
Sorry to say that but this story is a joke. You can’t be asexual and then you meet someone you suddenly enjoys sex ( BDSM? Like seriously ?? ) it’s not right!!!
This serie is kind of tricky, people who want to read books with only asexual Mcs ( or at least one of them) will be disappointed and annoyed to find out that the Mc is not asexual at all, big waste of tune and money for those who buy the books. He should’ve put some warning in the 1st book.
Sorry to be hard but I consider this a garbage..
And seems like in the 5th book they’re very active sexually.
I have hard time believing this is the real story of the author. I know there are exceptions and you can have sexual desires but not being attracted to other people. I’m asexual, sure I was confused for many years and I knew something was wrong with me because I have never been really attracted to men and I have never liked sex ( but I enjoy reading about or watching some sexual activities most of the time) I tried more than once to understand what was the problem and when I learned there are many sexual orientation. I thought in the beginning maybe I was demi because I loved having emotional connection with someone, being very close, cuddling and kissing but nothing more. Sadly I’lI end up single and lonely, there aren’t asexual men where I live, most of them are obsessed with sex 😆
Anyway, I tied again and I felt the same time so I knew I was obviously asexuel. I have sexual desires and when I think about sex to maybe get satisfaction, I feel uncomfortable and sometimes disgusted. I’ve always struggled with being sexually touched. Don’t judge me 😅
Sorry to say that but this story is a joke. You can’t be asexual and then you meet someone you suddenly enjoys sex ( BDSM? Like seriously ?? ) it’s not right!!!
This serie is kind of tricky, people who want to read books with only asexual Mcs ( or at least one of them) will be disappointed and annoyed to find out that the Mc is not asexual at all, big waste of tune and money for those who buy the books. He should’ve put some warning in the 1st book.
Sorry to be hard but I consider this a garbage..
December 27, 2022
Mood quotes:
"Mark and I had tried having sex before... I knew what it felt like with him. It wasn't bad. I wouldn't ever seek it out or need it...but I knew Mark needed it. I knew it made him feel close to me." (p. 199)
"I have a compulsive need for balance...and there's something deeply satisfying about being in a same-sex relationship when it comes to internalized gender roles." (p.257)
"His voice was turning me on. I did get off on thinking I was a different person. That's what I had to do anytime we had sex. I usually had to do that while jacking off, too. Sometimes I thought about nothing while masturbating, but other times I thought about becoming a generic, stupid, horny people–usually this involved a transformation from a weak non-sexual person to a dumb fuck toy...sometimes changed through either hypnosis or magic." (p. 278)
"This whole self-portrait is basically just me gushing about my husband. He's not perfect..." (p. 345)
"Maybe this will be embarassing to admit...but my cock liked what it was seeing. Mark in drag? Mark with a kid? Mark as a woman? If I wasn't careful, I was going to get a full blown erection." (p. 370)
"I didn't believe him. I would never beg to get fucked...lol, who does that? Who would ever beg to have something shoved up their butt? It made no sense to me." (p. 426)
NSFW infos:
Strict topping/bottoming
Public nudity
Humiliation
Daddy/Boy play
"Mark and I had tried having sex before... I knew what it felt like with him. It wasn't bad. I wouldn't ever seek it out or need it...but I knew Mark needed it. I knew it made him feel close to me." (p. 199)
"I have a compulsive need for balance...and there's something deeply satisfying about being in a same-sex relationship when it comes to internalized gender roles." (p.257)
"His voice was turning me on. I did get off on thinking I was a different person. That's what I had to do anytime we had sex. I usually had to do that while jacking off, too. Sometimes I thought about nothing while masturbating, but other times I thought about becoming a generic, stupid, horny people–usually this involved a transformation from a weak non-sexual person to a dumb fuck toy...sometimes changed through either hypnosis or magic." (p. 278)
"This whole self-portrait is basically just me gushing about my husband. He's not perfect..." (p. 345)
"Maybe this will be embarassing to admit...but my cock liked what it was seeing. Mark in drag? Mark with a kid? Mark as a woman? If I wasn't careful, I was going to get a full blown erection." (p. 370)
"I didn't believe him. I would never beg to get fucked...lol, who does that? Who would ever beg to have something shoved up their butt? It made no sense to me." (p. 426)
NSFW infos:
Strict topping/bottoming
Public nudity
Humiliation
Daddy/Boy play
June 29, 2023
Wow! I am stunned.
Chris and Mark end up in a relationship and the heat turns up to eleven. It's hard to wrap my head around how amazingly erotic this story has gotten since the last chapter of the last book because holy shit, things turn sexual. Even though thinking about how rapidly their relationship is progressing is enough to give me whiplash, it still is a really organic development for these two as a couple.
Chris and Mark are really close to each other, it isn't hard to see that these two are thoroughly devoted to each other which has me unbearably curious about what this Big Fight between these two is all about especially considering how well these two seem to fit together. It's impossible to imagine that two people so intensely into one other could simply stop feeling that way, which just increases my curiosity about the Big Fight and I can't wait to satisfy my curiosity by reading the next installment.
These books are really fun to read because they absorb me into their narrative and make me forget the world and I really need the distraction. So, I'm really grateful.
I love how much the author loves his husband because this love letter is simply so full of love, it's literally bursting with it. There are so many times the author has to acknowledge that his husband isn't perfect but he still can't help thinking of him that way. I feel like the thing I enjoy the most about this series is just how crazy romantic it is because it is crazzzy romantic.
Chris and Mark end up in a relationship and the heat turns up to eleven. It's hard to wrap my head around how amazingly erotic this story has gotten since the last chapter of the last book because holy shit, things turn sexual. Even though thinking about how rapidly their relationship is progressing is enough to give me whiplash, it still is a really organic development for these two as a couple.
Chris and Mark are really close to each other, it isn't hard to see that these two are thoroughly devoted to each other which has me unbearably curious about what this Big Fight between these two is all about especially considering how well these two seem to fit together. It's impossible to imagine that two people so intensely into one other could simply stop feeling that way, which just increases my curiosity about the Big Fight and I can't wait to satisfy my curiosity by reading the next installment.
These books are really fun to read because they absorb me into their narrative and make me forget the world and I really need the distraction. So, I'm really grateful.
I love how much the author loves his husband because this love letter is simply so full of love, it's literally bursting with it. There are so many times the author has to acknowledge that his husband isn't perfect but he still can't help thinking of him that way. I feel like the thing I enjoy the most about this series is just how crazy romantic it is because it is crazzzy romantic.
Read
September 23, 2020I don't know how to rate this book. Parts of it kept me engaged and enjoying reading about their relationship. Parts of it made me extremely queasy about a lack of consent, and the degree to which Mark keeps manipulating Chris. (Of course, I say that in full knowledge that if Mark hadn't spent months trying to manipulate Chris, or if either of them had been honest about their orientation early on, their relationship would never have happened.)
Also, this book contains the first instance in which I suspect some outright fiction made its way into the memoir. This book also has some metacommentary about process that probably should've been removed in the editing stage, as it doesn't add to the reading experience.
Other parts of the book, like a lakeside trip late in the book, are a joy to read about. Still, this is the first book in the series to leave me feeling like I need a little break from Mark and Chris for a while. I'll probably be back. But UGH, Milan.
Also, this book contains the first instance in which I suspect some outright fiction made its way into the memoir. This book also has some metacommentary about process that probably should've been removed in the editing stage, as it doesn't add to the reading experience.
Other parts of the book, like a lakeside trip late in the book, are a joy to read about. Still, this is the first book in the series to leave me feeling like I need a little break from Mark and Chris for a while. I'll probably be back. But UGH, Milan.
January 23, 2022
This story is just endlessly fascinating to me, but this installment was not my favorite.
Read
July 3, 2024Original 2019 rating: 5 stars
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