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Big Familia
Big Familia follows Juan Gutiérrez, a self-employed single father, as he navigates a tumultuous year of inescapable change. His daughter, Stella, is on the verge of moving away to college; his lover, Jared, is pressing him for commitment; and his favorite watering hole—a ramshackle dive presided over by Bob the Bartender—is transforming into a karaoke hotspot. The story is set in a neighborhood that is also changing, gentrification inciting the ire of the established community.
Upon the unexpected death of one of the bar’s regulars, Juan is sent reeling, and a series of upheavals follow as he both seeks and spurns intimacy, pondering the legacy of distant parents and a failed marriage and grappling with his sexuality—all the while cycling and dating, drinking at Nicks Lounge, and parenting a determined and defiant child-become-woman.
When his incarcerated father dies and Stella reveals she’s pregnant, Juan is forced to examine the emotional bonds that both hold and hinder him, to reassess his ideas of commitment, of friendship, of love. His encounters with various characters—his mother, his ex-wife, a middle-aged punker, an aspiring acupuncturist, a dapper veteran—lead Juan to the realization that he himself must change to thrive.
This is a story of making family and making mistakes, of rending and of mending. As a Latinx queer father with a mixed-race daughter, Juan exemplifies the ways identity connects and divides us. With wit, insight, and tenderness, Big Familia explores the complexities of desire, devotion, and the mysteries of the heart.
Upon the unexpected death of one of the bar’s regulars, Juan is sent reeling, and a series of upheavals follow as he both seeks and spurns intimacy, pondering the legacy of distant parents and a failed marriage and grappling with his sexuality—all the while cycling and dating, drinking at Nicks Lounge, and parenting a determined and defiant child-become-woman.
When his incarcerated father dies and Stella reveals she’s pregnant, Juan is forced to examine the emotional bonds that both hold and hinder him, to reassess his ideas of commitment, of friendship, of love. His encounters with various characters—his mother, his ex-wife, a middle-aged punker, an aspiring acupuncturist, a dapper veteran—lead Juan to the realization that he himself must change to thrive.
This is a story of making family and making mistakes, of rending and of mending. As a Latinx queer father with a mixed-race daughter, Juan exemplifies the ways identity connects and divides us. With wit, insight, and tenderness, Big Familia explores the complexities of desire, devotion, and the mysteries of the heart.
192 pages, Paperback
First published November 15, 2019
5 people are currently reading
538 people want to read
About the author
Tomas Moniz
26 books87 followersTOMAS MONIZ is a latinx writer living in Oakland, CA. His debut novel, Big Familia, was a finalist for the 2020 PEN/Hemingway, the LAMBDA, and the Foreward Indies Awards. He edited the popular Rad Dad and Rad Families anthologies. He’s the recipient of the prestigious SF Literary Arts Foundation’s 2016 Award, the 2020 Artist Affiliate for Headlands Center for Arts, and the 2023 Lucas Artists Residency Program Fellow. Among the residencies he's attended the 2022 UCross Residency, the 2020 Caldera Residency, the 2018 SPACE on Ryder Farm and others. He teaches creative writing at Berkeley City College, Ariel Gore’s Literary Kitchen, and the Antioch MFA program. He has stuff on the internet but loves penpals: PO Box 3555, Berkeley CA 94703. He promises to write back.
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 40 reviews
May 16, 2021
Sigh. This book totally charmed me. I loved everything about it. The main character is such a good guy, who makes frustrating choices. You can’t help but root for him to get his life in order. Honestly, all of the characters are charming in their own ways. They felt so down-to-earth real. Everything about this book felt so organic, nothing is forced. It is sweet-natured, hopeful, and downright romantic at times. It managed to keep up these tones even while tackling serious topics. Themes on parenthood, relationships, queerness, self-doubt, identity, gentrification, and family. Easily one of my favorite books of the year. What an unexpected treat.
Note: the Goodreads book description literally spoils most of the book. One thing happens at the halfway point. The other happens 40 pages away from the end. (!!!!) I’m not a person who is bothered by spoilers, but it’s really weird that most of the plot points are in the description.
Note: the Goodreads book description literally spoils most of the book. One thing happens at the halfway point. The other happens 40 pages away from the end. (!!!!) I’m not a person who is bothered by spoilers, but it’s really weird that most of the plot points are in the description.
December 9, 2019
Coming of age is a never ending process. It happens over and over in our lives. It's so universal. This book shows us the pain of hesitating to come out of our protective shells and the rewards for intentional even if awkward attempts to grow. This story is told through the eyes of a non-white, not strictly gay or straight but a delightfully authentically self-described queer man in a way that will cause most readers to see themselves again and again within its pages.
November 30, 2019
This is a sweet and gentle story of a self-identified queer Latinx single dad living in gentrifying Berkeley (on the edge of Oakland), letting go of his teenage daughter while trying (really trying!) to open himself up to a man who loves him. The characters defy all stereotypes and the first-person narration speaks from the heart. Real, touching, unpretentious and artful all at once--refreshing.
March 19, 2021
Quiet adult coming-of-age stories are maybe my favorite genre. This book settled me.
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December 1, 2019This heartwarming novel tells the story of Juan Gutiérrez as he goes through a time of change. His daughter is about to move to college. His Berkeley neighborhood is gentrifying. Jared, his lover, wants a deeper commitment than he feels ready to make. Even his favorite dive bar is starting to become a popular destination for karaoke lovers. And his relationship with his parents is fraught, not least because they haven’t acknowledged his queerness. These are serious issues, and the novel gives them their due, but it’s also light in tone. Its focus is less on plot and more on character development. Watching Juan and his family and friends change and grow is enjoyable. Big Familia looks seriously at race, sexuality, class, and more, while never losing its warmth and charm.
https://bookriot.com/2019/11/15/indie...
https://bookriot.com/2019/11/15/indie...
February 15, 2024
So overall pretty boring, for a slice of life definitely not enough happening for me. I did love seeing Juan’s growth. Seeing him become more accepting of the small lives in his life: his bar friends, his daughter, his boyfriend, just becoming more open to receiving and experiencing love. Alsoooo tomorrow tomorrow by elliot smith mentioned !!!! A star for that alone <3. Also very cool how it was set in the Bay Area felt like I was at home. Anyways I need a more exciting read to keep me in the swing of things, this book took me longer than it should’ve.
July 5, 2024
It’s easy to like this quiet, often tender, and engaging short novel, with a diverse cast of appealing characters and not a whole lot of plot. Sure, a few things happen, but it’s more about the atmosphere, the feelings, and the overall sense of positivity and acceptance. The matter-of-fact queer representation is another plus…it’s just the world of these characters, and it’s mostly no big deal.
February 21, 2024
I read this book in one sitting - it was warm, funny, heartfelt, and smart. I fell in love with the characters, and the author's craft shines through. This book was plotted and paced so well that I truly wanted to read it in one sitting because I needed to know what was going to happen next.
February 18, 2020
I absolutely loved this book and it’s sincerity, thoughtfulness and charm.
March 14, 2020
Disclaimer: I’ve been friends with Tomas for many years.
This is a sweet novel about a queer man living in south Berkeley trying to navigate being an empty nester. I love Juan’s relationship with Jared, specifically how Juan is able to find and ultimately give love despite being a complicated person.
There was a way that because I know Tomas and south Berkeley so well that it was hard for me to separate the story from what I know about his life.
Also my late cat made an appearance, in name at least.
This is a sweet novel about a queer man living in south Berkeley trying to navigate being an empty nester. I love Juan’s relationship with Jared, specifically how Juan is able to find and ultimately give love despite being a complicated person.
There was a way that because I know Tomas and south Berkeley so well that it was hard for me to separate the story from what I know about his life.
Also my late cat made an appearance, in name at least.
June 4, 2022
Big Familia was so, so charming and full of good vibes! Definitely a ‘feel good’ kind of read ☺️
July 20, 2023
Idk why I was so charmed by this but I was! Reads like a YA novel. I smiled the whole way through.
July 17, 2020
I loved this book so much! Moniz wrote very rich characters without telling too much about them. I was so invested in Juan's life and so badly wanted him to repair his relationships. It included really great commentary on gentrification, race and sexuality as well. Juan felt personal impacts of all of these things in his life rather than musing on them in a faux-scholarly way which I think is often the case in fiction written by white people. Moniz obviously writes what he knows and does it well.
April 23, 2020
Tomas Moniz reminds us of the gorgeous messiness of city life, friendship, community, family, and true love. The story flows effortlessly. I read it one sitting, loving every moment. I was so sad to be done! This book deserves all the award nominations and praise it's received. I adored this book!
June 12, 2019
An honest, sweet story about family: the ones we're born into, and the ones we create. Loved it.
January 4, 2020
Although it's apparently not an autobiography, I got the strong feeling it was based on the author's own life, at least in the broad view.
Since it takes place right where I live, I can report to readers who live elsewhere that the descriptions of the physical places, the people, the social scene, the interactions, the way people spend their days, and the way people talk (and even think) is so accurate to this specific place that I kept wondering if perhaps I have met this or that character, or at least passed them on the street.
The story takes place over a year or a year-&-a-half, although the characters tell stories from earlier in their lives, so it includes times from the late-60s until now in the greater Bay Area.
I don't know if the author would resist labeling this a "romance" - but it is! So I am mentally comparing it to Jasmine Guillory's The Wedding Date and that whole series, which takes place on the same streets, at the same time. In contrast, Moniz's main character exhibits a more deeply thoughtful, circumspect, and wholistic depth. Guillory's main characters (financially stable, educated, connected) might work on projects to benefit disadvantaged people, while Moniz's main character (financially stable, educated) sits with disadvantaged people, listens to and shares stories with them, has repeated daily connections that enable him to assist in small but meaningful ways.
That difference feels like comparing a Hollywood movie (Guillory) to a neighbor's story (Moniz).
It is interesting that the "Big Familia" of the title includes only 5 or 6 Chicanx/Latinx characters all together - Juan's family has 1 father, 1 mother, 1 daughter, & 1 uncle. The rest of his "big familia" are a mix of people he meets elsewhere. Since this is so different from typical media representations of Chicanx/Latinx familias, this story will help expand awareness that all cultures have different family configurations. (Ooops...that's my role as a Children's Librarian, to think of how a book fits into the arc of creating cultural awareness - but this is not a children's book! There is sex with a stranger in a movie theater!)
One other thing I'd like to mention; The main character says he met his boyfriend Jared through Tinder, and I liked that little detail because in real life, online profiles are often so lacking in thoughtful content that it's tempting to imagine that the people who created the profiles are also lacking in thoughtfulness, which of course isn't true. I appreciate this little germ of an idea that a whole, complex, loving, thoughtful person might use online dating to meet people.
Since it takes place right where I live, I can report to readers who live elsewhere that the descriptions of the physical places, the people, the social scene, the interactions, the way people spend their days, and the way people talk (and even think) is so accurate to this specific place that I kept wondering if perhaps I have met this or that character, or at least passed them on the street.
The story takes place over a year or a year-&-a-half, although the characters tell stories from earlier in their lives, so it includes times from the late-60s until now in the greater Bay Area.
I don't know if the author would resist labeling this a "romance" - but it is! So I am mentally comparing it to Jasmine Guillory's The Wedding Date and that whole series, which takes place on the same streets, at the same time. In contrast, Moniz's main character exhibits a more deeply thoughtful, circumspect, and wholistic depth. Guillory's main characters (financially stable, educated, connected) might work on projects to benefit disadvantaged people, while Moniz's main character (financially stable, educated) sits with disadvantaged people, listens to and shares stories with them, has repeated daily connections that enable him to assist in small but meaningful ways.
That difference feels like comparing a Hollywood movie (Guillory) to a neighbor's story (Moniz).
It is interesting that the "Big Familia" of the title includes only 5 or 6 Chicanx/Latinx characters all together - Juan's family has 1 father, 1 mother, 1 daughter, & 1 uncle. The rest of his "big familia" are a mix of people he meets elsewhere. Since this is so different from typical media representations of Chicanx/Latinx familias, this story will help expand awareness that all cultures have different family configurations. (Ooops...that's my role as a Children's Librarian, to think of how a book fits into the arc of creating cultural awareness - but this is not a children's book! There is sex with a stranger in a movie theater!)
One other thing I'd like to mention; The main character says he met his boyfriend Jared through Tinder, and I liked that little detail because in real life, online profiles are often so lacking in thoughtful content that it's tempting to imagine that the people who created the profiles are also lacking in thoughtfulness, which of course isn't true. I appreciate this little germ of an idea that a whole, complex, loving, thoughtful person might use online dating to meet people.
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
June 14, 2024
In a way, this the love story you've read before: a guy with trouble accessing his emotions learns from those closest to him.
But, oh, mis amores, it is so much more than just that. This book is an integrated dance with everything that is a 21st century relationship.
East Bay locals will recognize Oakland and Berkeley haunts and social situations from the gentrifying neighborhoods to karaoke night at the dive-bar-turned-hipster-spot.
For writers, take note: this is how you write diverse characters from varied backgrounds. So many POC and gender-varied characters are featured in Big Familia, but Moniz never once stoops to the common trope of comparing a character's to a shade of coffee. We learn about the characters—queer, straight, Latinx, Black, old, and combinations of all the above—from the characters themselves, how they identify and how their identity affects how they move in the world. That in itself made this book a pleasure to read.
But, oh, mis amores, it is so much more than just that. This book is an integrated dance with everything that is a 21st century relationship.
East Bay locals will recognize Oakland and Berkeley haunts and social situations from the gentrifying neighborhoods to karaoke night at the dive-bar-turned-hipster-spot.
For writers, take note: this is how you write diverse characters from varied backgrounds. So many POC and gender-varied characters are featured in Big Familia, but Moniz never once stoops to the common trope of comparing a character's to a shade of coffee. We learn about the characters—queer, straight, Latinx, Black, old, and combinations of all the above—from the characters themselves, how they identify and how their identity affects how they move in the world. That in itself made this book a pleasure to read.
December 27, 2020
I enjoyed this. I'd definitely put it in the category of literary fiction. There's no happy ending or even a solid resolution other than knowing that our narrator is probably where he is supposed to end up.
The characters are interesting and well-drawn - very human with a bood mix of likeable and unlikeable characteristics. I also appreciate the way the author shows us how complex sexuality really is, without making that the central theme of the novel.
This book is likghter on action and heavier on exploring people, places, things and relationships.
The characters are interesting and well-drawn - very human with a bood mix of likeable and unlikeable characteristics. I also appreciate the way the author shows us how complex sexuality really is, without making that the central theme of the novel.
This book is likghter on action and heavier on exploring people, places, things and relationships.
April 22, 2021
This is my favourite book that I’ve read this year - I didn’t want it to end. I wanted to be part of Juan’s family, or at least his life. The small but important moments are so perfectly captured in this book. I liked that the main character had some real personal stuff to work through and the honesty of Moniz’s writing. I wanted to soak it all up. Finishing the book, I found myself missing the characters. I’m not one to reread novels, but I have a feeling I’ll be coming back to this one, maybe more than once.
June 13, 2024
I loved this book so much, I truly did not want it to end. The characters are all flawed but doing their best to do right by themselves and each other. Moniz captures a slice of the East Bay I know well -- its grit and resilience, its tight-knit communities navigating gentrification and change. What I love most about this book is how it presents male characters grappling with masculinity, bringing us into the moments where they try (and fail, with various amounts of grace) to define and embody more expansive ways of being male in America.
May 20, 2020
This is such an organic story that spills through the streets of the East Bay. Like life, there are no obvious heroes or villains. Everyone is trying their best in their own way, and some people are undermined by their own fears. The characters and the dialogue are all so sweet and simple in the best way. This book is a pleasure to read, something you'd love to have with you in your bag as you bicycle around Lake Merritt.
July 11, 2020
Really enjoyed the depiction of manhood and coming into oneself in adult years. In many ways it reminded me of the dynamics that occur in young adult fiction but moved into the older years and I found that very refreshing. In addition, I think the writing is effective in conveying the feelings and emotions of the central protagonist. I did find myself wishing their was a bit more meat and conflict in the book because I feel like the characters could handle it.
May 25, 2020
Loved this novel, total page turner. Full disclosure, the writer was my teacher years ago in Berkeley and I'm so thrilled that his first novel is so good. It covers many topics relevant to our time and does it in a down to earth, matter of fact way such as gay relationships, co-parenting after divorce and raising a teenager to name a few.
December 29, 2023
Very satisfying read. I really appreciate reading honestly written books such as this that mirror the mix of laughter, sadness, direction, and confusion of real life. The simple prose detailing Juan’s relationships and inner thoughts were both unique to him and invited empathy without any kind of pity. Highly recommend.
April 25, 2024
Novel in stories. Some flat characters (the daughter, a boyfriend), but this is a fun ride. The big familia turns out to be not just the main character's immediate family but also the people holding it down in the gentrifying neighborhood, particularly at a neighborhood bar. A delightful twist and that's not the only one!
March 1, 2023
Really enjoyed this book's hopeful overtones while still tackling an array of serious things. Only gripe really is that it was so short! We need more of these hopeful plotlines. And because I tend to go for serious toned depth, this book was a joy that sometimes made me laugh out loud.
February 17, 2020
Engaging story of the way a lot of us deal with midlife crisis...in tiny increments, maybe not even realizing until it's over that we have changed. Loved the distinctive characters and the sympathetic depiction of how people, relationships, and cities evolve and impact each other.
April 7, 2020
I really enjoyed this book at this moment in time. I loved the hopefulness, and the "feel-good" quality. The writer expresses sentiments beautifully!
June 29, 2020
I devoured this book - the first time I've been able to do so during the pandemic in the last few months (my concentration has been shot). Super grateful to the author for that!
August 14, 2020
Joyous and achy, real, relatable
Displaying 1 - 30 of 40 reviews