As She Stabbed Me Gently in the Face

by Carlton Mellick III

Oksana Maslovskiy is an award-winning artist, an internationally adored fashion model, and one of the most infamous serial killers this country has ever known. She enjoys murdering pretty young men with a nine-inch blade, cutting them open and admiring their delicate insides. It's the only way she knows how to be intimate with another human being. But one day she meets a victim who cannot be killed. His name is Gabriel--a mysterious immortal being with a deep desire to save Oksana's soul. He makes her a if she promises to never kill another person again, he'll become her eternal murder victim. What at first seems like the perfect relationship for Oksana quickly devolves into a living nightmare when she discovers that Gabriel enjoys being killed by her just a little too much. He turns out to be obsessive, possessive, and paranoid that she might be murdering other men behind his back. And because he is unkillable, it's not going to be easy for Oksana to get rid of him. As She Stabbed Me Gently in the Face is a metaphor for a bad relationship, told in the form of a sociopathic killer's affair with an even more sociopathic victim. From the mind of Wonderland Book Award winner Carlton Mellick III, author of Hungry Bug and Quicksand House, comes one of the strangest and most gruesome love stories ever put to print.

Genres: Bizarro Fiction, Horror, Adult, Splatterpunk, Fiction

101 pages, Kindle Edition

First published January 1, 2015

About the author

Carlton Mellick III (July 2, 1977, Phoenix, Arizona) is an American author currently residing in Portland, Oregon. He calls his style of writing "avant-punk," and is currently one of the leading authors in the recent 'Bizarro' movement in underground literature[citation needed] with Steve Aylett, Chris Genoa and D. Harlan Wilson.

Mellick's work has been described as a combination of trashy schlock sci-fi/horror and postmodern literary art. His novels explore surreal versions of earth in contemporary society and imagined futures, commonly focusing on social absurdities and satire.

Carlton Mellick III started writing at the age of ten and completed twelve novels by the age of eighteen. Only one of these early novels, "Electric Jesus Corpse", ever made it to print.

He is best known for his first novel Satan Burger and its sequel Punk Land. Satan Burger was translated into Russian and published by Ultra Culture in 2005. It was part of a four book series called Brave New World, which also featured Virtual Light by William Gibson, City Come A Walkin by John Shirley, and Tea from an Empty Cup by Pat Cadigan.

In the late 90's, he formed a collective for offbeat authors which included D. Harlan Wilson, Kevin L. Donihe, Vincent Sakowski, among others, and the publishing company Eraserhead Press. This scene evolved into the Bizarro fiction movement in 2005.

In addition to writing, Mellick is an artist and musician.

Reviews

[Farrah · Rating 4 out of 5]

This was just the kind of weird, gross-out horror book that I was hoping it would be!

𝙊𝙠𝙨𝙖𝙣𝙖 𝙞𝙨 𝙖 𝙗𝙤𝙡𝙙, 𝙨𝙚𝙭𝙮 𝙨𝙚𝙧𝙞𝙖𝙡 𝙠𝙞𝙡𝙡𝙚𝙧 𝙗𝙪𝙩 𝙝𝙚𝙧 𝙡𝙖𝙩𝙚𝙨𝙩 𝙫𝙞𝙘𝙩𝙞𝙢 𝙩𝙪𝙧𝙣𝙨 𝙤𝙪𝙩 𝙩𝙤 𝙗𝙚 𝙄𝙈𝙈𝙊𝙍𝙏𝘼𝙇.
𝘼𝙛𝙩𝙚𝙧 𝙨𝙝𝙚'𝙨 𝙨𝙩𝙖𝙗𝙗𝙚𝙙 𝙝𝙞𝙢, 𝙝𝙚 𝙘𝙤𝙢𝙚𝙨 𝙗𝙖𝙘𝙠 𝙩𝙤 𝙡𝙞𝙛𝙚 𝙖𝙣𝙙 𝙝𝙖𝙨 𝙖 𝙥𝙚𝙧𝙛𝙚𝙘𝙩 𝙨𝙤𝙡𝙪𝙩𝙞𝙤𝙣 𝙩𝙝𝙖𝙩 𝙖𝙡𝙡𝙤𝙬𝙨 𝙝𝙚𝙧 𝙩𝙤 𝙛𝙚𝙚𝙙 𝙝𝙚𝙧 𝙙𝙚𝙖𝙙𝙡𝙮 𝙪𝙧𝙜𝙚𝙨 𝙬𝙝𝙞𝙡𝙚 𝙨𝙖𝙫𝙞𝙣𝙜 𝙞𝙣𝙣𝙤𝙘𝙚𝙣𝙩 𝙡𝙞𝙫𝙚𝙨 - 𝙨𝙝𝙚'𝙡𝙡 𝙤𝙣𝙡𝙮 𝙠𝙞𝙡𝙡 𝙝𝙞𝙢 𝙛𝙧𝙤𝙢 𝙣𝙤𝙬 𝙤𝙣.
𝙊𝙫𝙚𝙧 𝙖𝙣𝙙 𝙤𝙫𝙚𝙧 𝙖𝙜𝙖𝙞𝙣.
𝙏𝙝𝙚𝙣 𝙩𝙝𝙞𝙣𝙜𝙨 𝙜𝙚𝙩 𝙢𝙚𝙨𝙨𝙮 𝙬𝙝𝙚𝙣 𝙤𝙣𝙚 𝙤𝙛 𝙩𝙝𝙚𝙢 𝙩𝙞𝙧𝙚𝙨 𝙤𝙛 𝙩𝙝𝙚𝙞𝙧 𝙖𝙧𝙧𝙖𝙣𝙜𝙚𝙢𝙚𝙣𝙩.

This one isn't as bizarre as the other Mellick books I've read but it's just as creative and enjoyable 🔪👱‍♀️
Not for the squeamish!

[Peter Topside · Rating 4 out of 5]

So many Gabriels and so little time! For such a short book, this really felt like a full story. Oksana is truly evil, Edward is too smart for his own good, and Gabriel is just a freak…of sorts. For majority of the book, I enjoyed the interview between Edward and Oksana, being shocked at how much more of a crime thriller this felt like. But then the last quarter of the story goes right to vintage Mellick, with all the ooey, gooey, bloody madness that keeps pulling me back in, time and time again. Mutations, creatures, clones, and killer art exhibits, are just a few of the gems contained in this little tale of terror. I can’t even tell you what happens towards the end, because you wouldn’t believe me, but I wasn’t disappointed as a fan of Mellick or horror. Be prepared and forewarned, and go read this book!

[MadameD · Rating 5 out of 5]

What a wonderful read ! I loved it very much.
I have sparkles in my mind and eyes. ✨✨✨✨✨

For me, a good story must be fluid. I don’t like it when a story jumps from one scene to another, without cohesion, whatever the genre.
The characters must be well developed, I want to understand their psychology and motivations.
And, It’s important for me to be surprised .

I read a lot, and reading has always been my favorite hobby. I think, i have read, pretty much every genre of literature, even the ones that appealed to me the least. After all these years of reading, I felt like I was reading the same story with a few variations. So, I started to get bored. It is for this reason that there are a lot of books that I started and forgot to finish.

About a year ago I read a Splatterpunk story, and I had a revelation. For someone like me, who loves unexpected stories, this genre is perfect. The authors of Splatterpunk ,let their imaginations run wild. It's fantastic !
But I have never read any Carlton books. I don't know why, I waited so long. What I experienced while reading this story, is like love at first sight. I have a big crush on this author skills .I'll read more of his books. I like The bizarro fiction subgenre !!!

Carlton Mellick III said he doesn’t like to read about Serial Killer story, but he has written a very good one. It’s a bizarro story with a charismatic killer, and a more charismatic victim.
Oksana Maslovskiy story is unique . Read it if you like splatterpunk and bizarro genre .

I would have given it 10 stars if it were possible!!
⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

[Renée · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book is a work of art. A masterpiece. Oksana would be so proud.

Another weird and wonderful read by CM3. Love his crazy imagination, each page is laced with heroin. An absolute delight from start to finish. A bloody fantastic mashup of bizarro and splatterpunk. Highly recommend!

[Uptown Horror Reviews · Rating 4 out of 5]

This story is pretty much Carlton Mellick III's own version of "The Resurrectionist" by Wrath James White, but instead of the killer having the power to resurrect the dead, the victim in this story is the one who holds all the power with his ability to regenerate himself only minutes after dying.

This man latches onto a female serial killer and in a bizarro style twist of fate, the predator becomes the prey as this badass supermodel serial killer must desperately find a way to rid herself of her latest victim who just won't go away.

Loved this book and Im slowly becoming a Carlton Mellick fanboy after reading all of these great stories.

Im giving this book 4 out of 5 stars ⭐⭐⭐⭐

You can watch my full video review at:
https://youtu.be/vOgKnR5ToZ4

[Ian · Rating 5 out of 5]

‘Portrait of a serial killer’ - Mellick style.

Oksana just adores her Art and…the act of killing.

In fact in her world you could perhaps define ‘Pure Love’ to be as simple as - koku, koku…stabby, stabby…deady, deady…rot, rot…job done. Next!

But then again, for some very, very special loving and caring supernatural individuals, maybe this just happens to not be the case. Let the art of dying begin - and all in the name of LOVE…

This fantastical, cleverly constructed, surreal and abstract adventure is just absolutely knock- out. Not a dull moment to be had and full of stabby twists and turns that make it just pleasure to read.

So why not enjoy Mellick’s weirdly wonderful imagination with it’s strange creations galore - and just go with the flow, flow… flow. Believe me, you will not be disappointed.

Thank you Carlton, you killed it dead - but in a good way, to be sure!

Rating: 4.8 stars (Rounded to 5 for the CM Afterword of Afterwords, detailing the secret of guaranteed success - wonderful! Lol)

[Althea J.]

This is so far outside of the realm of what I usually read that I needed to make a new GR shelf to contain it.

I knew what I was signing up for when I started this book -- I saw a bunch of this author's books on the GR list of Humorous, Strange or Downright Shocking Titles (which is hilarious and you should go take a look). With titles like The Haunted Vagina and The Baby Jesus Butt Plug, my interest was piqued. Like a car crash you can't look away from. Some of the book descriptions had me laughing forever (Sweet Story). I bought a few including this book to get a taste of this up-and-coming subgenre being called “Bizarro.”

I knew going in that it would be shocking and twisted and grotesque, so I decided to just go with it. And the most shocking thing about it was that I weirdly enjoyed it!! It doesn't pretend to be high-art. It is a shlocky horror movie in book form. But I have to admit that there is something a little brilliant and inventive about it. Just when I thought this book would be the sum total of the book description, it took some twists into the realm of even-weirder. And from this author's tendency toward shocking titles, I expected it to be a bit trying-to-be-weird-for-the-sake-of-being-weird. But it wasn't. There was something genuinely creative about it.

LET ME BE CLEAR: This book, and I imagine most of his books, are not for everyone. I am not suggesting that you go out and read As She Stabbed Me Gently in the Face. I'm just documenting my reaction to my experiment of dipping my toe into the bizarro genre.

Now I definitely need to read another (they are super short) just to see if Carlton Mellick III can bring it for another it's-crazy-and-I-like-it reading experience.

P.S. I've been racking my brain over what to read for the "Guilty Pleasure" task of the BookRiot Read Harder Challenge because I can't think of anything I feel guilty about reading. I think I finally found something that is as close to qualifying as a "guilty pleasure" as I'm going to get.... thank you Carlton Mellick III :)

[Rodney · Rating 4 out of 5]

Props again to the author for the most insane and creative ideas. I have known for a while now that I have a bit of a Carlton Mellick III addiction. The comic strip at the end explains it all.

[Scott · Rating 5 out of 5]

CM3 takes on the serial killer genre and twists it in to a unique story with elements of body horror and a deeper level about unhealthy relationships. Fans will love it, and I urge the curious who have yet to read Carlton Mellick III to pick this one up. 5 stars, highly recommended.

[Pedro Proença · Rating 5 out of 5]

Fast-paced, intense storytelling in Carlton's stab at (hahahahaha, GET IT?!) the serial killer genre. A really fast read, the pages fly by. Absolutly recommended.

[Jeremy Maddux · Rating 5 out of 5]

Every bit as graphic, sexual and violent as Carlton's early works such as Razor Wire Pubic Hair. A true return to form.

[James · Rating 4 out of 5]

My first Carlton Mellick III book. Looking forward to see what his other books are like.

[WayBackWhen · Rating 5 out of 5]

Cool story. Kept me hooked.

[Richard Longmore · Rating 5 out of 5]

Oksana is a force of nature. Beautiful, tall, talented - a celebrity that makes the rest of us feel like we're an inferior species. Lately she's been working on art pieces that exist to threaten those who appreciate it. Literally they are meant to be "mousetraps" - with a fatal component if someone gets too curious. As the crowd of her latest show find out that she's not lying, she escapes with a young, intrepid reporter.

Next the story takes a dark and unexpected turn when Oksana finds herself being interviewed. She willingly tells the tale of her bloodlust. And of the one man who was able to satiate it...to a point. And then the hell that came afterward.

For a CM3 book this actually is pretty straightforward. Which is to mean it's still batshit, but doesn't feel like it's written by throwing darts at random words. And while the story as it starts seems interesting, once the interview begins it goes off the rails into something even more interesting.

Short and sweet (as sweet as CM3 gets), this is another fun read in a string of great books. Stay Bizarro, kids.

[William M. · Rating 3 out of 5]

It's no secret that Carlton Mellick III is the godfather of bizarro fiction and still remains the writer to beat with the highest quality of bizarro fiction currently on the market. It seems like he dedicates his entire life to the bizarro genre and it shows. However, everyone stumbles at some point, and for me, this book is where Mellick stumbles. Only a bit, mind you, but enough to garner my first 3 star rating from me. Ever.

The first two-thirds of the book is a fairly normal narrative with only a hint of bizarro. Not a whole lot happens until the final third when Mellick's style and original bizarro qualities final emerge. Don't get me wrong, the book is very entertaining, but it just doesn't have that classic Mellick magic I'm used to reading. This guy is truly a legend in the making and has already cemented himself as a grandmaster of bizarro. But for new fans, I would choose another title as a jumping off point.

[Julie Furlong · Rating 4 out of 5]

So with Carlton Mellick III I know exactly what I’m getting-a splatterpunk, outrageously bizarro story with absurd characters and all the grimace you can carry on your face. It’s a fun ride, an unforgettable adventure, and cannot be explained to anyone you may know. Because if you do, that person will look at you with a side eye you will never forget. May even cut all ties with you. But oh well, you know what you like.

Synopsis: Oksana is a serial killer of 20 year old pretty boys who are meek and scared. That’s the way she likes them. Gabriel is “claimed to be an angel” who cannot be killed. He makes her an offer she can’t (at 1st) refuse- if she promises to never kill again, he’ll become her eternal murder victim. We also meet Edward- the pretty boy who interviews Oksana throughout the whole novella. But that’s all I’m going to give you. You’re welcome!!!

So be warned: there is body horror and extreme violence
DEFINITELY NOT FOR THE SQUEAMISH!!!!

[Juan Vizcarra · Rating 5 out of 5]

There's nothing more I can say about this book (or this author) that other reviews haven't said yet.

My only clever input about this story is that I wish that the mortal trap's storyline was expanded a little bit further. At first I thought it was going that way, but it seems that it was abandoned for a strange reason. It had a very nice opportunity to shine that I won't spoil. However this gripe doesn't change the overall positive opinion I have for this book.

Another great, fun and short read by CM3.

[Dutchess · Rating 4 out of 5]

I went into this expecting a story about a serial killer. And, I mean, it is indeed about a serial killer, but I should've known CM3 wouldn't just leave it at that. There's a masochistic immortal being masquerading as an angel along with some rather absurdist body horror. And the ending, as with many of his books, feels like a tease. That's not to say the story's incomplete; it's just that I wasn't quite ready to get off the rollercoaster.

[Soupsioux · Rating 4 out of 5]

This was graphic, and although I don't mind that, it was surprising compared to the other Carlton Mellick books I have read. It was a good story, compelling, inventive and raised some interesting dilemmas, but as usual it fizzled out at the end. Always entertaining and money well spent.

[Adrian · Rating 3 out of 5]

Possibly the most disturbing book I have ever read, I thought it would be dark... I had no idea...

[Phil Sutton · Rating 5 out of 5]

Another strange trip

As usual, Mellick explores strange and unusual possibilities. It was very engaging and very quick read. Nice way to spend a few hours

[razan · Rating 4 out of 5]

4.5 stars

if a man doesn't continue to eat me out while i stab him, i don't want him 🙅🏾‍♀️

[JoeBob Trash · Rating 4 out of 5]

I love it.

[Sage Mage · Rating 5 out of 5]

Sort of like An Interview With a Vampire. The absolute genius that is Carlton Mellick III strikes again!

[Robert Giesenhagen · Rating 5 out of 5]

Would one get tired of killing the same person over and over again. Even the creativity potentially involved would have to be stifled after a bit. Plus, as a serial killer, one might get bored.

Thus is Oksana’s dilemma in yet another deranged entry into the Mellick pantheon of derangement.

This one is a quick fun read and the premise is just absurd enough to sate one’s need for primo Bizarro.

[Misty · Rating 5 out of 5]

This was a Mellick favorite of mine. His cover art is always on point. I am always amazed at how deep Mellicks imagination is.

[Joshua Friesen · Rating 3 out of 5]

C'mon these bizzarro books are ridiculously funny.