Sex, Purity, and the Longings of a Girl's Heart: Discovering the Beauty and Freedom of God-Defined Sexuality

by Kristen Clark, Bethany Beal

For the modern Christian woman living in today's sexually charged society, embracing God's design for sex and purity can often feel like an impossible pursuit. As the culture seeks to normalize things such as pornography, erotica, and casual sex, both single and married women of all ages feel immense pressure to conform. With alluring temptations constantly inviting them to join in, they might even begin to question whether God's design is truly good. They wrestle with questions like- What is the purpose of my sexuality?- What does it mean to pursue purity?- Are my sexual longings good or bad?In this encouraging book, Kristen Clark and Bethany Beal share honestly about their own struggles and victories, and invite women on a personal journey to discover and reclaim a biblical vision for their sexuality. Kristen and Bethany help women understand why God's design for sexuality is good, relevant, and leads to true hope and lasting freedom.

Genres: Christian, Nonfiction, Relationships, Christian Living, Self Help, Sexuality, Religion

229 pages, Kindle Edition

First published April 1, 2019

About the author

Kristen Clark is married to her high school sweetheart, Zack, and has a background in Biblical counseling, young women's ministry, teen mentoring, online blogging, and is the co-founder of GirlDefined Ministries. She and her sister, Bethany, are passionate about fighting feminism, embracing gender distinctions, and empowering young women to live out their God defined purpose. You can read her weekly blog posts at girldefined.com or follow her on Facebook at facebook.com/girldefined.

Reviews

[Assortedtrashprincess · Rating 1 out of 5]

Because of this book I'm going to have premarital sex 😎

[Shantelle · Rating 5 out of 5]

Another phenomenal read and awesome resource from sisters, Kristen Clark and Bethany Beal! I had the privilege of being on the launch team for Sex, Purity, and the Longings of a Girl's Heart, and let me tell you, it is not a book that you want to miss! I was stunned and blessed. This is a message I'm so excited for! It is simply, beautifully another tool in helping us women discover the freedom of living out our sexuality God's way.

I think one of the reasons I was so excited to read Sex, Purity, and the Longings of a Girl's Heart is because we as the Church don't talk much about lust being a girl's problem ... or about our sexuality in general! And as a result, I believe Satan has a foothold in many a woman's life. Our idea of sex is twisted and we struggle with fear, shame, and secret sexual sin.

Kristen and Bethany don't shy away from the raw, tough questions and shameful topics. They dive right in. They share their own stories of sexual sin and of finding forgiveness and freedom. They share hope. They get to the heart of the issue, and give practical tips to avoid temptation.
Reading this book could seriously be life-changing for some girl. I read a book that tackled the topic of sexual sin (Every Young Woman's Battle by Shannon Ethridge) when I was a young teen, and it changed the course of my life. And I believe Sex, Purity, and the Longings of a Girl's Heart is an even more precious book on this topic because it is so centered on Christ, and it is so personal, honest, hopeful, and empathetic.

And holistic, if that's the right word. We're not just talking about how to avoid sexual sin. We're talking about our design as human beings ... how God created us as sexual beings in the beginning. And how that sexuality is good! How our sexual design can point us to God. Yes, sexual intimacy was created exclusively for marriage, but we are sexual beings whether we're married or not, and so understanding God's design for our sexuality is vital. It is an intricate part of our lives!

Sex, Purity, and the Longings of a Girl's Heart talks about the universal sexual brokenness. It talks about same-sex attraction, and the truth that male, female, and marriage were created specifically and purposefully by God. It speaks on being made for intimacy, imperfect purity, battling temptation, and real freedom. Again and again, we are reminded that our sexual longings point to an even deeper need - the need for Jesus Christ. He can truly satisfy our souls.

Something that I enjoyed about this book was how it quoted renowned Christian authors and speakers such as John Piper, Dannah Gresh, Dr. Juli Slattery, Jackie Hill Perry, Joshua Harris, and more. And, of course, the Holy Bible! Scripture is what we must always line up our ideas against and see if they match. Because God's Word is our absolute truth.

I love reading about God's design for marriage and sex. It is truly beautiful! And the way it points to Christ and the Church ... the Creator and our relationship with Him ... is magnificent. When we realize the amazing design and purpose of sex, we dare not tarnish its beauty. It is too good to fool around with!

I hope you all will give this book a chance, even if you don't normally read nonfiction. It flows along well and is easy to read. Kristen and Bethany help us to recognize God's awesome design for sex and intimacy as laid out in the holy Scriptures. They show that the hold that sexual sin has on you can be broken! You can find forgiveness, new beginnings, and glorious beauty as you turn to Him and use your sexuality as God designed!

Our brilliant, loving Creator's plan for sexuality is obviously the very best. It was His design in the first place! We can trust that. We don't have to live in sexual brokenness and depravity. By His strength, we can rise up to beautiful heights of purity, holiness, blissful joy, and freedom.

This is a beautiful book and I recommend to all women. ❤ I think it will help them to understand their sexuality and the desires that come with that. It will help them to honor marriage and sexual intimacy. And find their deepest satisfaction and hope in Christ!

This book includes discussion questions at the back of the book for each chapter. I can't wait to go through it with a group of women!

I received a complimentary copy of Sex, Purity, and the Longings of a Girl's Heart from Baker Books Publishers and the authors. This review is honest and all my own.

[Simon Mee · Rating 1 out of 5]

What makes reviewing this book difficult is separating the authors' individual experiences (and self-confessed struggles) from their wider message. I have no problem with their stories. I have no problem with what they believed in to overcome set backs. I don't even have a problem with other people taking inspiration from their stories. The book's audience is likely to be those with the same biblical worldview as the authors, seeking reassurance that they are not alone in their battles to resist "temptation".

However, the book ostensibly does have loftier goals, being set out as universal advice for dealing with the authors' perceived, and to some extent real, trends of over-sexualisation in contemporary society. In my own opinion the causes are complicated and interwoven with each other, and not always trending in the same direction (see a plethora of articles at the end of 2018 suggesting that millennials are having less sex). In this book, the simple (simplistic) answer is that we are all "sexually broken" due to the original sin of Adam and Eve. The best we can do to deal with our sin is to not only act pure, but to achieve inner purity, “from gold star Christian girls to women who passionately love Jesus”.

In setting out their argument the authors take a strained interpretation of the first chapters of the Book of Genesis, breezily quote mine the remainder of the Old Testament, and settle on Jesus as the redeemer of our sin. Sex in marriage is a good thing, and part of God's plan. Each person can read the Bible however they wish, so I don’t have any major issue with their interpretation (First Corinthians does have some opposing statements). Outside of the Bible, the authors' review of historical record is limited. Quoting the 1828 Merriam Webster dictionary entry on marriage without context is, at best, insufficient. In setting out their arguments, the closest the authors come to acknowledging an opposing view is that on masturbation. They don't feel the experts are correct, and rely on the Bible to prove their points.

In terms of the authors' substantive position on sex, there is an unresolved dichotomy between lustful thoughts being a sin pre-marriage versus the properly directed sexual awakening that should occur once the rings are on the fingers. The book at least acknowledges that this might be a problem and the chapter "Imperfect Purity" tries to counter the negative view of purity (sex is bad) by… …uh… …recognising our need for Jesus. Non-negative spiritual purity is instead achieved by “taking every thought captive and living in a way that reflects the perfect holiness of your Father”. That is a word salad that does not resolve the issues of sexual repression.

Again to give some credit, the authors don't see impure thoughts and actions as irredeemable. There is always forgiveness through Jesus. What remains uncovered is practical matters such as alternatives to abstinence and contraception (the latter isn't even touched upon within marriage). Forgiving people who "fail" is nice but it would be nicer to provide practical ways to mitigate "failure". For advice on how to deal with the issue of pornography: "ultimately porn isn't the biggest problem here, choosing to submit to and love something more than God is the problem."

The book explicitly views homosexuality as a sin. I don’t reject the argument that the Bible condemns homosexuality. What I do reject is the argument that the Bible is an authority for dictating people’s sexual choices. In the book, choosing to live according to one’s feelings compares poorly with choosing to comply with God’s Word. That to me assumes you believe (a) there is a God’s Word and (b) the authors’ version of God’s Word is the correct one. I don’t object to a moral framework existing outside one’s feelings, but the book blithely assumes (albeit probably correctly) that its audience has that same framework.

So I in the end I do have a problem with this book, best encapsulated in this quote from it: "Only one person has the authority to define who you are, and that is Jesus Christ." Cultural relativism works both ways. I respect their experiences and morality, and I would expect them to respect others. I strongly dissent from their view there is universal advice about sexuality residing in the Bible.

[Rachael · Rating 1 out of 5]

Terrible

This book is full of terrible toxic advice and NO teenager should ever read this. It promotes unhealthy ideas and guilt and shame.

[Lilah Argos · Rating 1 out of 5]

NOTE: Most of the reviews on this book are fake because the authors gave the book away for free in exchange for a 5-star review between the period of April 30, 2019 to May 7, 2019. Same story on Amazon. If you're wondering why this Spiritless, Godless, Pornographic book has almost 5 stars, that's why. Please check out the book on FakeSpot and ReviewMeta. You will see how there are almost no honest reviews of this book.

There is no God or Jesus in this book. This is the sad ramblings of two women who worship money as their Golden Calf and decided to create their own "New Bible". You will find nothing you haven't already heard, unless you're interested in the sex lives of two Christian women. It is almost pornographic. The fact they had to pay so many women to give 5-star reviews speaks volumes. We're Christians. The dishonesty is shocking. Repent for your lies, ladies!

I would never give this book to anyone. It is Dead. There are better authors out there for Christian women's issues that don't come from two overgrown teenagers who worship Golden Calves.

[Aliyah · Rating 5 out of 5]

Rooted in God's Word, packed with truth, sharing the hope of forgiveness, purpose, and freedom in Christ, and directing your focus back to Jesus throughout - this book holds a message that so desperately needs to be heard, known, and embraced.

[Emily Dillon · Rating 1 out of 5]

Back up the bias bus. This book is dangerous and ineffective persuasive writing. I would not recommend this book.

[Rebekah · Rating 4 out of 5]

I really enjoyed this book. However, it is a heavy topic. Because of the candid and upfront way this book is written, I would not recommend it for every Christian girl out there. While the principles of this book would have been good for me to learn as a teenager, I think this book would have made me very uncomfortable and could have dobe more damage than good. With that being said, I still think it's an excellent book. For girls going to public school and/or struggling with sexual sins, this book is a must-read. For girls growing up in sheltered Christian homes, this book could easily rob them of their innocence if read too soon.

[Genevieve Bergman · Rating 3 out of 5]

As a pastor who has worked with youth in middle school and high school for over 20 years, dealing with the subject of sex has been integral to a balanced approach of helping young people mature. And as a human being, I haven’t always been the greatest at communicating on the subject. I am always on the lookout for new material about youth and sexuality to expand my ability to guide young people.

Baker Books provided this review copy in exchange for a fair review. The focus of the book is fairly apparent. This book deals with sexuality and young females. I appreciate the forwardness of the authors in dealing with this area of sexuality. Many people find it difficult to be upfront about their sexuality, but it seems that the cultural history of “only naughty girls talk about sex” has limited the frank conversations that young women need.

The authors approach this subject from an evangelical worldview. There are many scriptural tie-ins. The discussion of sin and restoration through Jesus Christ is prominent. Many of the points are supported by a verse that directly relates to the subject. For those who share the evangelical worldview, this book will affirm dealing with young women from that point of view. For those who do not share the evangelical worldview, this book will not be as meaningful or helpful.

I found some solid points of agreement with the authors. They make the comment that lust is a human problem. I think this is something that we don’t deal with enough in talking with young people. It isn’t a male problem. It isn’t a Christian problem. It isn’t a teenage problem. Lust is something that is dealt with, usually poorly, by almost every person. Where the subject falls short is it does not deal with the reality that lust is a natural response. Lust is the emotional expression of our sexual drive. It is hormonal. It ties directly into our imaginations and our emotions. The authors emphasize lust as a problem. Lust is a problem when we allow the corrupting influence of sin (breaking a relationship with God and others) to corrupt our imagination and emotions.

I affirm their statement that intimacy is a deep need for all human beings. Intimacy is not a sexual need. Intimacy is a psychological, mental, emotional, and communal need. We are created for relationship with others. We have different levels of relational needs. Each person is different in the depth and breadth of those needs. Some people need a few people who know them very well. Others need a lot of people to know them well. All people have the need to be known and to know others deeply.

I also respect their emphasis on purity. This is an issue that has been abused in churches and religious communities and families. Purity has been used to teach that sex is a bad thing. Purity has been weaponized to enforce the mentality that a girl's worth is gauged by her purity. And purity has been aimed at a lifestyle of singleness. An authentically biblical understanding of purity is that it is the state of relationship that we have with God when we seek to do God’s will in our lives. Purity is gauged by God, not by standards established in a checklist.

I appreciate that the authors are dealing with a sensitive subject. They do not rely on graphic illustrations. They, instead, try to use illustrations that emphasize the struggles, pain, and brokenness that a faulty approach to sexuality have caused. They take this message into communities and deal frankly with the subject. This book is an extension of that ministry.

I will admit that I found some significant issues that I disagree with through the book. The first has to do with the four cultural lies they enumerate. They focus on identity, marriage, embracing open sexuality, and femininity. I agree with their cultural misunderstanding of femininity, but I feel that they misrepresent it when they do not deal with the empowerment of females. Femininity is not about exploiting the sexuality of a woman. It is about seeing the inherent value, strength, ability, and uniqueness of each woman and allowing a woman to be all that she can be in those.

The other lies that they focus on are minor issues of sexuality and purity. I felt that what was being presented is a less dynamic reinforcing of evangelical platform issues. Instead of sexual identity being Lie number one, there is no discussion of the separation of sex from the sense of wholeness of self. Sex is now considered a physical operation of the body. Women and men have learned that they can divide sex from emotional and connected relationships. The “one-night stand” is not a new thing. It has been cast in a new light thanks to hook-ups, friends with benefits, and social media apps such as Tinder.

When they deal with the subject of marriage, they say that it is a covenant between a man and a woman. The authors do not deal with what a successful sexual marriage looks like. When I teach about sex, I refer back to the three revealed purposes of sex: procreation, recreation, and reconnection. Within the boundaries of marriage, all three purposes of sex are fulfilled. When we remove sex from marriage, the purposes are not as fulfilling. And when the three purposes are not fulfilled in marriage, there are issues that arise within the relationship. Instead of focusing on the gender of the marriage partners, perhaps sex and purity should focus on how it is to be fulfilled in a marriage.

Finally, the authors emphasize how culture has emphasized, “if it feels right, do it”. In light of the MeToo movement, the breaking of silence on decades of sexual harassment, and the use of sex as a tool for power imbalance, it may have been more useful to talk about how sex is a matter of “if it doesn’t feel right, stop it”.

My biggest concern about the book, though, is one that I have found in many evangelical “self-help” approaches. Consistently throughout the book, there is a strong conviction that through Jesus Christ, all things can be dealt with in right ways. What isn’t touched on in any convincing way is the necessity of community. This is a very “Jesus and me” focused approach to understanding sexuality and purity. Nowhere do the authors speak with any clear instruction of involvement with a strong group of people to help them in the walk with Christ. Occasionally they point the reader to find a “wise Christian woman” to talk to. Christ built a community of disciples to train and mentor. He sent them out in mission with partners. He reminded them of the need for two or more to be gathered to know his presence. There is no clear encouragement to be involved in any meaningful way in a youth or young adult or peer group, as well as deep involvement in a community of believers.

This really becomes an issue when dealing with the subject of temptation. The authors provide steps to avoid temptation. One of the most glaring things left off of this list is an accountability partner or group. There is no mention of finding a connection with someone who knows them intimately, including their struggles, and allowing that person or group to check in to see how they are doing with their maturity in their struggles. Accountability has long been a part of counseling males in this area of struggle. It is just as important for females.

Finally, I feel that there is a significant area of harm being done by not addressing the need to seek professional counseling in areas of addiction or sexual abuse. The subject of abuse was briefly touched on a couple of places. The final counsel is to, again, find a “wise Christian woman” to talk to about this. There is hope that weakly offered. There is not, however, a counsel to seek out someone who has helped others through the struggles of healing from sexual abuse. Due to issues that are now being identified as post-traumatic stress disorder, there is a clear need to seek out someone who can help navigate those wounds and paths to healing.

The authors do not deal with addiction in any meaningful way. Pornography has been shown to have the same biochemical markers in a body as narcotics or nicotine. Prolonged exposure to pornography has been linked with relational maturity. Sexual abuse has been connected to alcohol, drug, and other forms of physical harm addictions (cutting, eating disorders, body dysmorphic disorder, suicide attempts). Addiction is a serious subject that needs to be addressed with young people.

I feel that the authors are trying to do good work. I feel that this book represents a fair attempt at trying to deal with a sensitive subject with an overlooked demographic. I feel that it doesn’t go deep enough to provide the full extent of help that young women need to be healthy sexual beings in a Christian world.

[Tiffany · Rating 1 out of 5]

So much vocal fry. I listened to the audiobook version and sounded like it was being narrated by Chris Lilley's Ja'ime King.

Otherwise, it was full of imagery such as ''rock-infested soil'' and, vacuous phases such as — and here I am paraphrasing — ''sex affects the brain physically and neurologically, in ways that we cannot understand.''

Full disclosure: I have seen videos by Girl Defined before and I am not a fan. I find them to be very theologically shallow to the same extent that Justin Bieber can be considered an artist. Even if your values do align with theirs, I recommend you seek out something that is more insightful.

[Ylva · Rating 5 out of 5]

I have been looking forward to reading this book for quite some time now. So when I finally got my hands on it, I read it cover to cover in one single day!

Ladies, this is a much needed book that you need to get your hands on! It's raw, it's honest and real. Kristen and Bethany are very open and direct about the problems girls struggle with in terms of sexuality and purity. They do not shy away from talking about masturbation, pornography and lust. With this book, they counter the lie that "girls don't struggle with these things" and offer practical help and show what sexuality defined by God looks like. The book was easy to read and understand with many examples and personal stories to illustrate their points. All throughout the book, what they say is based on Scripture and they refer to it. There's also a study guide and an appendix on healing from sexual abuse at the end of the book.

This book did not focus on biblical womanhood or God's design for relationships, because these topics have already been the focus in their first two books. One might therefore want to read Girl Defined and Love Defined to see how it fits into the whole picture :)

I can only recommend this book to any young Christian woman trying to figure out sexuality and fight temptation. I think this is Kristen and Bethany's best book so far! However, please note that if you grew up very sheltered or have not been confronted with these issues so far, you might want to read this with your mom or a mentor.

Disclaimer: I received a free copy in exchange for a review via Netgalley.

[Petra · Rating 5 out of 5]

if you're a christian girl in the 21st century, this book is for YOU!

Such a big complicated topic tackled with honesty without beating around the bush, simple in writing style and yet full of deep content.
It feels like I'm sitting and chatting with an older sister who has been through it and talking with practicality and with empathy.

New stuff i learned: it's okay if in your struggle with sexual sin, you feel like you're too weak to fight, as the fight is not ours, it's God's. He is the one who conquered sin and death and we can ONLY do the same through Him.
I learned that female sexuality isn't 'bad' in its essence, although objectification in media,ads, society can unfortunately make you see it this way even if you're against objectification. You seem to forget that sexuality has good uses too.. you can use all things to God's glory.
Moreover, real purpose of intimacy in marriage to reflect God's love, a fundamental truth spoken even by biology of sexual interaction.
I learned that genuine intimacy is with the Creator is what ultimately satisfies our longing hearts.

I found little gems every now and then that could be applied to other areas of life as well: although not acting on my feelings can 'feel' wrong, yet sometimes that's the correct thing to do (concerning anger for example)
Also, Trusting in God's plans and purpose even when it doesn't seem to make any sense now.

I loved that the authors inserted the two central stories of the Bible: the fall and salvation/redemption while having been re-told focusing on sexual sin and it was a beautiful new perspective.

overall, I LOVE this book, it is gentle and truthful as it takes you on a challenging yet rewarding journey of healing from the past and delighting in God's grace and mercy.

[S.G. Willoughby · Rating 5 out of 5]

THIS. BOOK.

Ladies, read this. Okay? I will definitely rereading this book and gifting it to my friends. It is such an incredible paradigm shift, and I SO WISH that we talked about sex in this light more. I wish I had heard these things as I was ready for them, growing up in the church.

I am genuinely EXCITED to have sex with the right person in the right context in the future, and I don't think I really could have said that before reading this. I picked up this book because I'm surrounded by broken sexuality. Because people I cared about were hurting from twisted sexuality in so many different ways, and I wanted to understand. I also wanted to understand myself.

Turns out - sex is an incredible, amazing way that we get to worship God and know Him in a new way. I sorta knew that, but I didn't (and I know I have a lot more to learn). This book was Biblically sound, theologically rich, and yet so relatable and accessible and easy to read and understand. Kristen and Bethany are just the people to have written then, and I was blown away.

My understanding of sex and of God is forever changed, and I wish I could adequately express how crucial this message is. When I look at a friend's hurting face or the eyes of one of the girl's I mentor and see the pain, I long to share with them the hope and rejoicing I have because of the truth shared about God and sex in this book.

I'm struggling to recommend a minimum age for this book, because I know that this deals with some mature topics, but on the other hand, it's done with tact and I wish that I had read this as a twelve-year-old. Maybe I wasn't ready for it then, but I always wasn't ready for the sexual agenda that *was* pushed on me before I had the tools to understand. Moms, if you're unsure - and I understand and applaud your caution - read this first! This book is something that women of all ages and relationship statuses will benefit from.

Here are only a few quotes (I highlighted SO MUCH lol):
"God's faithful and deep love teaches us about sex, while passionate sex within marriage teaches us about God."

"We begin to realize that our sexuality enables us to better understand the depth of Christ's love."

"Single women do not have to wait until marriage to experience yada."

"If we, as women, have the ability to contribute to or take away from our worth, the gospel is meaningless."

"He wants us to use our beauty, influence, sexuality, and intellect in ways
that bless others and advance His kingdom purposes."

"Feminine allure and sensuality are actually part of God's good and original design for us. The desire to be enticing and feel attractive is a core aspect of our womanhood. We, as women, long to be desireable...within marriage, it's an awesome thing."

"People aren't either sexually 'whole' or sexually 'broken.' The reality is, we're all sexually broken. Every one of us."

"Unlike animals, who were created with sexual instincts, humans were created for sexual intimacy."

"Instead of acknowledging my need for a hero, I was trying to be the hero. And that's why I wasn't experiencing longterm change."

[Rebekah Lewis · Rating 5 out of 5]

Sex, Purity and the Longings of a Girl's Heart isn't a light read! Kristen Clark and Bethany Beal dig deep into the hush-hush topics.

All the things you thought you knew, all the things you didn't know, and all the things you need to know are talked about in an open and honest way.

All these things are talked about in an amazing and Biblical perspective. When you read SPLGH, you're introduced to God's actual intention for sex, purity and the longings of your heart.



These sisters made me feel a closeness to Christ and other Christians that I haven't felt in a long time. It made me feel not so alone in this big, ugly world, and that touched my heart. There are other women in this world that struggle with the same things I do, not just with the topics Clark and Beal covered but with so many other things.



Through this book I was able to connect with so many amazing and different women, I was truly blessed by it.



Though I haven't struggled with most of what the authors talked about, I was given new perspective; I am not the gold star Christian girl I think I thought I was. I have sinned. I am broken. I'm am definitely imperfect and full of flaws. But that's okay. Because God restores me. He accepts my brokenness and desires me to live for Him.



"Apart from Christ, our hearts aren't going to lead us toward truth, righteousness, or freedom. (Jer. 17:9) Our hearts are actively deceiving us; therefore we should be wary of staking our entire identity. In the basis of how we feel."







"Sexuality has been so chopped up, reshaped, and altered that it looks very different from what God originally designed it to be. We, as humankind, have strayed so far from God’s original purpose and intent for our sexuality that most of us have accepted the chopped-up version as normal. Without the original design in view, we no longer know what’s right. We no longer know what’s good. Sex is no longer linked to marriage. Truth is no longer linked to God. As a result, we’re pursuing a myriad of personal choices regarding our sexuality without a compass guiding us to true north. The way we navigate our sexuality today is similar to someone trying to put together an extremely complex puzzle without the photo on the box to guide them."



My favorite message from this book? 👇👇



"Just as Jesus loved and welcomed this sexually broken woman in the New Testament, (Luke chapter 7), He is still welcoming sexually broken women today. Just as He gave the prostitute woman a new identity and future, He is doing the same for us today. Jesus welcomes the hurting. He invites the weary. He takes what is broken and shattered and makes it whole again. Our brokenness doesn’t render us useless to God; rather , we become a beautiful display of His amazing grace."





I was so touched by the power in this book that gave me a very needed reminder of how Christ sees me, that I cried. He's beautiful. He's love is beautiful. His forgiveness and mercy is beautiful. I am beautiful, because of Him. It touched my heart and soul deeply.



I 1000% recommend this book. It's absolutely amazing and I hope it will touch you as deeply as it did me.

Go grab your copy of Sex, Purity and the Longings of a Girl's Heart now!!



**Thanks so much to the authors/publisher who gave me a free copy of this book in exchange for an honest review. I was no way obligated to leave a positive review.**



~Rebekah ❤️❤️

[Sassy Sarah Reads · Rating 2 out of 5]

2 stars. I really don't know what I think about this one. Review to come.

[Cate · Rating 4 out of 5]

This book is an absolute MUST for women, both young and old. There are so many truths here about sexual purity, true intimacy, and what that looks like through a biblical lens. There wasn't a study guide in this book like there was in Girl Defined , so I just took as many notes as I could on what I read. A definite need-to-read for women, whether they're married or single.
A note of caution for younger readers (aka teen girls): The authors in this book talk about the harm and dangers of erotica, porn, and masturbation, and there is a lot of helpful information if you are struggling with these sins. However, when I first read this book back in 2019, I didn't know/understand much about sexual sins in general. If you're a parent to a teen girl, I would highly recommend you talk to your daughter about these subjects before giving her this book. It will make the reading material a little easier to comprehend.

[Carrie-Grace · Rating 5 out of 5]

I LOVED this book. Not only is the content fabulous, but this book has a gorgeous cover and interior design. Kristen and Bethany give practical tips, answer questions not commonly talked about, and share lies and truths about our sexuality. I appreciated the overall theme--how Christ is our satisfaction and we're created for intimacy with Him. <3

I also love the voice of this book--Kristen and Bethany speak with both truth and compassion. I think you often find one or the other in Christian circles, so I appreciated their balance in their writing. They talk about pornography, erotica, and sex purposefully with just enough detail to get their point across. (By the way, if you struggle with reading these topics, you might want to skip chapter 11.) In the back, there's also a special section for those who have experienced sexual abuse, providing action steps for healing and a list of additional resources.

I thought there were times when they over-quoted other authors, but the quotes they did choose were wonderful. Those people they quoted make for great resources to look up later, as many of them have written their own books.

Out of all three of Kristen and Bethany's books, this one is my favorite. It's rich and chock full of help and truth. I'm grateful I had the chance to be on the Launch Team for this book and I know it will be a huge blessing to many women and girls.

[Rebeca Chiorean · Rating 5 out of 5]

Într-o societate în care identitatea, sexualitatea, puritatea sunt atât de puternic amprentate de cel rău, această carte ne reamintește că și Biblia are ceva de spus despre aceste subiecte și ca dupa principiile ei trebuie sa ne ghidăm!
Fie că te lupți chiar tu cu astfel de întrebări, fie ca vrei să vezi ce are de spus Biblia asupra acestor subiecte, fie că vrei sa aflii mai multe pentru a putea ajuta alte fete.. îți recomand această carte! :)

[Emma Ferguson · Rating 5 out of 5]

So good! There need to be more books like this out there for Christian women. It was refreshing to be able to read and study on topics that aren’t generally brought up within the church.

[Tamara M · Rating 3 out of 5]

This is an excellent book for older teen/young adult girls. I wishes that the books that I was reading when I was that age were hitting the points that the authors are tackling in this book: God's design for sex, how to deal with desire, longings, and lust. What about pornography, erotica and masturbation? What about sexual abuse? And where is God in all of this... As a woman in her early 30s - I have already navigated a lot of these questions so there was not much of a new content for me (hence the 3⭐️) but I am glad I read it so that I can recommend it to the younger girls in my life.

[Magda · Rating 5 out of 5]

I am amazed how honest the authors are. They are sharing openly their struggling in the sexual area and trough this breaking the taboo topic.

I love how they are giving the practical advices how to break the cycle of the sexual sins – like for example masturbation – and how to battle temptations.

I love how the authors are explaining the point of sexuality – good gift from God with deep meaning, directing us to show the level of intimacy between people and God.

So good, that Kristen and Bethany are breaking the cultural lies about sexual design and underlining the Biblical truths. Sure, for some of us this lies are so obvious, but for many young people they are not so obvious anymore.

They are writing: “If we, as Christian women, are not vigilant to discern the lies from the truths, we will end up listening to whichever voice is shouting the loudest” and “just because it’s hard doesn’t mean we should give up on truth”.

I like to idea, that authors used a lot of real questions from the girls around the word as a base to this book, including the really hard questions, which they are answering from the Biblical perspective.

I love how they are writing about the purity and all the narratives – wrong and good: “Sexual purity is not just about saying no to sex before marriage; it’s about taking every thought captive and living in a way that reflects the perfect holiness of your Father. It’s ultimately about embracing your identity as a daughter of God and striving every day to become more like Him. That’s true purity.”

I recommend this book from all of my heart. It’s so needed for our generation today.

[Libby Smith · Rating 1 out of 5]

This is a book review of the book "Sex, Purity, and the longings of a Girl's Heart", by Kristen Clark and Bethany Beal. I received this book for free as part of a group which is writing reviews.

The main point of the book is that "God created sex to be so much more than ecstasy and momentary pleasure." (p. 87) The authors treat women with respect and they believe that sex should be a part of a deep and meaningful relationship. However, their point of view is very narrow, and it is only meant for conservative Christian women. They are not trying to connect with anyone outside of that group.

The book is well researched. For example, the appendix is written for victims of sexual abuse. It's thoughtful, non-judgemental and offers resources to look into. However, I'm wondering why they did not include the national sexual assault and abuse hotline.

If you are not conservatively religious this book is not for you. It is important that the reader understand the author's point of view toward the LGBTQ community. They believe these people to be broken. On page 83 the authors use an example of a former lesbian and her change. I find it fascinating that as a part of the discussion against being gay they say "...our truest self can only be found within the Creators design for us; therefore, He is the only one who can define us." (p. 83) And yet they support the pseudo-scientific idea that one can change one's sexual orientation by praying away the gay. p.167.

Although I didn't enjoy the book I think it is a good step for a more open view of sex in the Christian community.

[Andrea Murphy · Rating 1 out of 5]

Don't be fooled by the fake reviews. These women claim they are Christian and that only God can satisfy the "longings of a girl's heart" but all they talk about is boys, crushes, flirting, lust, etc. I've never seen two adult women so obsessed with boys and sex.

[Debbie Waltz · Rating 5 out of 5]

Girl Defined Ministries has done it again. In Kirsten and Bethany’s newest book, Sex, Purity, and Longings of a Girl’s Heart, they attempt to peel back the curtain to discover where these feelings were first created and God’s purpose for them. Because of sin, we have forgotten our true goal of glorifying God and instead have learned to indulge ourselves in every aspect of life. The definition of sexuality is a perfect example of the confusion this has created in today’s society.

Kristen and Bethany begin their book by sharing their most intimate struggles. Despite living in use it despite living in Christian homes, they were not perfect. In reality, nobody is immune to the temptations of this world – that lead to the consequences of sinning against God. But by the grace of God, our story doesn’t end there. In the first part of the book, the girls explain God’s original plan for creation as well as his rescue mission for us after falling into temptation. Through His redemptive plans, He’s able to restore us into a right relationship with Him. They show that this by no means assures us the perfect life; we still live in a fallen world where Satan can tempt us daily. They explain how we have the power of the Holy Spirit within us to fight and win courageously with God on our side.

Kristen and Bethany are real with the readers; they don't hold anything back. Their conversational style of writing makes it easy for others to understand and relate to these circumstances. It’s as if they are in the room with you having a girl’s chat with you. When it comes to their faith, however, they don’t pull any punches. They tell it like it is - straight from God’s Word

[Katerina Provost · Rating 5 out of 5]

Written by Kristen Clark and Bethany Beal, “Sex, Purity and the Longings of Girl’s Heart,” is a book for those who feel lost and hopeless in a sea of confusion, pain and hurt on the topic of sexuality. Sex is literally everywhere and has become so easily accessible that it has, to many people, become cheap, boring and meaningless. These authors not only answer the questions of why sexuality has become so broken but also shares each of their own personal struggles in letting you know that you are not alone. We are all sexually broken due to sin, but we cannot allow society’s culture to define or shape our understanding of sexuality. What society says will satisfy always fall short, nothing in this world can ever truly satisfy what our hearts most long for. God created us to be sexual beings and enjoy the pleasures of sexual intimacy in the confines of marriage as Kristen and Bethany will reiterate throughout their book. Sadly, there are too few young, Christian women who will address sex and purity much less publish a book on such topics. Thank you, Kristen and Bethany, for the many prayers and labors that went into publishing this book. May it truly transform the lives of many young women around the world. From personal struggles, cultural lies, biblical truths, intimacy, purity, temptations, secret struggles, hush-hush questions, repentance and sexual freedom this book is packed with biblical truths for those seeking to find freedom and lasting contentment.I strongly urge you all, as young women living in a self-driven culture, to purchase a copy of this book and read it. Be honest with yourself because this book could radically transform the way you think and the way you live as you discover the beauty andfreedom that God-defined sexuality offers.
 
 

[Laura Pradia · Rating 5 out of 5]

The hardest part about growing up in a sex-crazed culture, is how hard it is to get a moment away from it all. Books, movies, magazine covers scream at us constantly that it is not only inevitable, but good and healthy to give in to the urge to fulfill our heart’s every wish. After all, it’s biology, right? Our sex drive is part of our DNA. Running directly counter to our hedonistic culture, the word of God exhorts us to present our bodies a living sacrifice to God, to resist all immorality and fleshly lusts, and to turn our hearts to Christ for ultimate joy and happiness in the midst of our unfulfilled desires.

In their book; Set, Purity, and the Longings of a Girl’s Heart: Discovering the Beauty and Freedom of God-Defined Sexuality; Kristen and Bethany boldly go where few have gone before in an attempt to encourage and equip young women in this generation for the fight ahead of us. They don’t shy away from the fact that Porn and Masturbation are every bit as much of an issue for women as for men, and that lust is a matter of the heart. Kristen and Bethany have filled their book with practical questions to help young women evaluate what they feed their spirit, and what they allow to influence their worldview on the topic of sex and sexuality.

I received a free copy of this book from the publisher in exchange for my honest review.

[Amaris · Rating 3 out of 5]

It was a very thoughtful and helpful book. It didn't quite speak to me in ways that I was personally hoping, but I think this book could be a valuable resource to many girls and women out there who have had different struggles than me or don't know Jesus or God's purpose for sexuality at all.
With that said, I applaud the work the authors put into this book and I applaud them for reaching out to teach and minister in this subject for single and married girls, as there are many Christian and non-Christian girls who are going through their own heartaches and questions about sexuality with no helpful or relatable resource offering the kind of perspective and insight that this book does.

Bottom line: Not bad, but not super helpful for me personally. I think it could be perfect for just the right person.
"God's love for you is determined not by your actions but by His. Romans 5:8" Page 201

-Amaris

[Melanie Mead · Rating 5 out of 5]

One of my teenage daughters bought this book and I cheekily stole it before she had a chance to read it! I believe it's aimed towards teenagers and young women, but I found it very relevant and I think any aged women could really benefit from reading it. The authors are young women themselves and they write with a lot of personal honesty about very real issues, including pornography, lust, erotica, masturbation and sexual abuse. (Many times these issues are not talked about among women so I applaud their bravery!). I loved the beautiful picture they painted about God's design for sex - it's positive and hopeful, rather than negative. The authors hold out grace and freedom, not condemnation. The book is not filled with rules but inspires readers to put Jesus at the centre of their lives and pursue intimacy with him above all else. A super helpful book for women of any age.

[JC · Rating 5 out of 5]

rmat: Paperback
As a woman, and a mum, I am grateful that these women took the time to write such an honest book addressing issues that we can find difficult to discuss.
It's written in a conversational manner that I found easy to read and very relatable. It's refreshing and encouraging to see truth based on God's word!

All three books (Girl Defined, Love Defined and Sex, Purity and the longings of a girls heart), are really useful resources for young people to encourage and challenge them to always think first about what God says in the Bible on these issues.
However I also think they are a fab resource for parents, Bible class teachers, women's study groups etc.

I received this book from netgalley online in exchange for my honest review.

[Hannah Joy · Rating 4 out of 5]

This was a great book, just like their other books, full of truth & practical help.

I felt like it didn't apply to me for the most part. Thankfully I have not so far in my life been faced with some of the struggles and temptations discussed in this book.

But I would highly recommend if you are someone who struggles with purity, sexual temptation, list etc. because this book is a valuable tool to help you think about things.

My favourite chapters were The Secret Struggle within Your Mind & Finally Satisfied.