Hello, Stranger: My Life on the Autism Spectrum

by Barbara Moran

“...Insights from a time when a young person with autism grew up in a world where nobody understood them!” – Temple Grandin, author, Thinking in PicturesBarbara Moran has never known how to be good.As a child, she made strange noises, fidgeted constantly, and licked her lips until they cracked. She had “upsets” that embarrassed and frustrated her family. Worse still, she developed friendships with inanimate objects—everything from roller skates to tables to an antique refrigerator—and became obsessed with images of cathedrals.She was institutionalized, analyzed, and marginalized, cast aside as not trying hard enough to fit in.But after almost forty years, Barbara was given an answer for her inability to be like, and to connect with, other autism.Hello, Stranger is the story of a misunderstood life that serves as an eye-opening call for compassion. Bracingly honest, Barbara describes the profound loneliness of being abandoned and judged while also expressing her deep yearning simply to be loved and to give love.Hello, Stranger is a challenge to every reader to see the beauty and the humanity present in every individual.“An extraordinary look at autism from the inside – by turns heartbreaking, uplifting, illuminating, witty, and wise.” – Steve Silberman, author, The Legacy of Autism and the Future of Neurodiversity

Genres: Nonfiction, Autistic Spectrum Disorder, Psychology, Memoir

242 pages, Kindle Edition

Published March 19, 2019

Reviews

[Vikki · Rating 4 out of 5]

What an informative book by Barbara Moran! I wanted to read it because she had been at Menninger in Topeka from about age 10 into her 20s. I wanted to see what life was like at Menningers in the 1950s. And this book did tell me from a patient perspective. Unfortunately Menninger and probably most institutions didn't know what to do with people with autism. Barbara was denied access to her passions - inanimate objects like refrigerators, pictures of cathedrals etc. It tells of her journeys through life. I am so glad Barbara Moran wrote this book.

[Janice · Rating 3 out of 5]

Many thanks to my friend V for sending me this book. She knows of my interest in Menninger's.

It appears that Hello, Stranger is Barbara Moran's life, as told by Karl Williams. That made me uncomfortable, not knowing how and to what extent Mr Williams edited, as he told Barbara's story. Where did Barbara's story begin and end and where did Mr Williams interpretation begin and end? Was it he or Barbara who decided what to include and what to exclude? That being said, Barbara's story is interesting and at times compelling. The various life traumas Barbara has endured is heart wrenching. Still, Barbara is a survivor with spunk. I commend Barbara facing and accepting her life traumas matter of factly, and often with a forgiving spirit. I wish her well as she continues her journey.

[Sara · Rating 4 out of 5]

Originally reviewed for Chick Lit Central (www.chicklitcentral.com)

Reading about Barbara’s experiences proved to be an eye opener for me. I have a brother who is autistic, and he doesn’t have the ability to verbalize his thoughts or feelings. I’ve never heard him speak a single word. So much of my childhood consisted of trying to figure out what he needed, to go by his reactions, the emotions he’d display, and I couldn’t help but imagine that so much of what Barbara references from her own experiences could easily pertain to my brother.

While my brother’s diagnosis had come during the mid 1980’s, a time when I still feel there was so much to learn and understand about autism, Barbara’s childhood, teen years and much of her adult years were spent in the dark, shuffled between doctors who had no clue as to why she behaved the way she did, attempting to ply her with medications that only made her suffer more. All in the name of “progress”. Often, when she couldn’t become or live up to the person they’d wanted her to be, they would blame her. That she “acted up” on purpose. This was a hurdle we’d also faced with my brother, who would often behave in certain ways that was not relatable or accepted by many.

The friendships with inanimate objects really spoke to me, considering the toys or random artifacts my brother would carry around, depending on whatever was interesting to him at the time. One time, it was pencils, piles and piles of pencils he’d store inside a bag, and he’d take them out, one by one, focusing on the minute details of wood and graphite. There was the short-lived connection with balls; rubber, fiber, leather. All shapes and sizes, kept safe inside a carrier made of netting. There were many other connections he’d made with objects over the years, and while Barbara’s connection with her own special objects may sound far-fetched, I understand it. For her, this was a means in keeping sane during a time where her life was chaos, and a way for her to have someone (or something) that may have cared about her. It made me wonder if my brother had those same emotions about his own objects.

What so was motivating about Barbara’s story, was her ability to survive during the most difficult time in her life. Not only was she not living up to what “normal” had been perceived as, but she wasn’t sure who she was, or where she fit in. As the synopsis indicates, it’s an honest look into one woman’s struggle in finding her identity, while opening the eyes and hearts of those who had a narrow view on what being different means. Research has come such a long way since those days, and even since the time my brother had been diagnosed, with much more compassion and understanding. It was nice to verbally hear a voice, one that could very easily be that of my brother’s.

[Murphy · Rating 5 out of 5]

Reading this book was both overwhelming and rewarding, and I feel very grateful that I came across it.

Barbara Moran's telling of her life is raw and honest with undeniable compassion for both her younger self and even those who had mistreated her. I hope people who are struggling to grasp how difficult it is to thrive in a world where your nature behaviors are condemned will also come across this book and allow it to change some of their perceptions.

While most of what takes place in this account happened decades ago, I urge readers without autism to understand that occurrences of callousness and neglect towards autistic people are not a thing of the past. As I mentioned above, reading this book was personally rewarding for me because in my twenty years of life I've been through some of the same situations Barbara underwent.

I also did not receive my diagnosis of autism until I was in my adulthood and had already suffered through years of medical malpractice and incidents that have left me with a distrust of doctors. There were times in my adolescence where I thought I wouldn't survive the mixture of isolation, agony and shame I was experiencing, but learning about Barbara's resilience and advancement during even worse occurrences allows me to feel that my future is less doomed.

I'm incredibly thankful towards Barbara for allowing us to listen to her story, and for Karl Williams for recognizing the value of telling it. Hopefully future generations of autistic people will have little to relate to in this work, but until then candid and emotional outpourings like these can help heal the wounds our community sustained by those who could not perceive our worth.

[Sarai Hawkins · Rating 4 out of 5]

Barbara Moran's story is one of someone who's voice has long been silenced , not by autism, but by the people seeking to cure it. Her account shows again and again how damaging it is to push treatment and cures without first seeking understanding, and how autism is not some childhood illness that can be grown out of.

This was challenging to read. What especially hit me was the despair and frustration Barbara described in her twenties, after she was left with no support other than complete dependence. I was shocked again and again by the words professionals said to her in an attempt to push her toward recovery, though a lot of it reminded me of similar notions of "wellness" that trend today. The overall attitude of adults in her life that she could control the deep emotional pain she was in really resonated with me, and reminded me a bit of my own experiences with growing up with undiagnosed autism. Something that really stood out to me was what her foster mother said to her: that her extreme reactions to noise - reactions to mental distress and physical pain - were just her acting out for attention. And allistics say we're the ones with no empathy.

[Libby · Rating 3 out of 5]

Moran paints a vivid picture of life in an institution in the 60s. It's always sad to read stories of people who weren't properly diagnosed with an illness, or who had an illness or condition before it was officially discovered. Moran spent so many years in an institution but at least in the end, with her sister's help, they figured out that she was autistic.
Some of the story made me angry. Why did they think it was wrong for her to talk to buildings? And of course the sexual assaults were inexcusable. And yet, the story wasn't wholly depressing. There's hope that we can unravel the mysteries of being human. There are people who care about those who don't fit into the regular cookie-cutter image of a human being.
Hopefully today, no one with autism has to experience what she did.

[Karla Andrew · Rating 4 out of 5]

Written through the eyes of a person with autism back when people with ASD were institutionalized. For an autism mom this was a very scary book. I'd like to say that it gave me some insight into autism, but really it scared me some knowing that this was the life kids were faced with. I feel for this girl and think the dr involved should have had his license revoked... the issue being that was the common thought of the treatment of the time though and he was just going with the norms of society.

[Pam · Rating 3 out of 5]

Nonfiction book on autism, written by an adult with autism. Well, written by Karl Williams from interviews of Barbara Moran and told from her perspective. Very well-written but sometimes too long and repetitive.

[Diane Mueller · Rating 3 out of 5]

Writing by a woman who grew up with autism before it was know. She spent a good portion of her early years in a mental institution

[Nicole Major · Rating 5 out of 5]

Wow. Just wow.

[Moriah · Rating 3 out of 5]

It was hard to read, with the recounting of high emotions, obsessive tendencies, and difficult experiences. The narrator is a forgiving person.