The Everything I Have Lost

by Sylvia Aguilar-Zéleny

12-year-old Julia keeps a diary about her life growing up in Juarez, Mexico. Life in Juarez is strange. People say its the murder capital of the world. Dad’s gone a lot. They can’t play outside because it isn’t safe. Drug cartels rule the streets. Cars and people disappear, leaving behind pet cats. Then Dad disappears and Julia and her brother go live with her aunt in El Paso. What’s happened to her Dad? Julia wonders. Is he going to disappear forever? A coming-of-age story set in today’s Juarez.

Genres: Young Adult, Middle Grade, Audiobook, Realistic Fiction, Contemporary, Fiction, Latinx

256 pages, Hardcover

First published September 3, 2019

About the author

Writes fiction, non fiction, book reviews, and shopping lists.

MFAer. Mexican. Virgo. Director of Casa Octavia (ask me about it).

Reviews

[Bookishrealm · Rating 4 out of 5]

Tough tough tough read.

[Alaina · Rating 3 out of 5]

I have received this ARC from NetGalley in exchange for an honest review.

The Everything I Have Lost dives into some pretty tough topics throughout the book. Even though they are tough to talk about, it was very interesting to see it all from Julia's point of view. In the beginning, she is about 12 and pretty close to turning 13. All she wants to do is grow up like everyone else around her. She seems to be pretty focused on getting her period whenever she can.. but that's the sort of thing you can't rush. It'll come when it does but she kind of freaks out when it takes forever and ever (in her mind).

While watching Julia grow up and seeing the emotional and physical tolls her family goes through was very eye opening to me. This book didn't really shy away from anything and I really enjoyed that. I probably would've liked to see something from one of her parent's POV's just to get the full picture or how everyone in her family felt.. but I'll be okay with just getting Julia's diary format.

Other than that, this book also had some cute and funny moments. It totally flew by and I'm really glad that I got the chance to dive into this book.

[Cyndi · Rating 5 out of 5]

I truly enjoyed this book. Our heroine is a young girl living a very isolated life in Mexico, until one day she is sent to live with her aunt in El Paso, Tex. Life is very different and since she is so young the adults keep most of their truths away from her. This book is a diary, along the lines of Anne Frank. It's very honest and the place she put her fears.
#NetGalley #TheEverythingIHaveLost

[Geoff · Rating 4 out of 5]

I was worried that this novel-in-diary-entries was going to be hard to take, given the immaturity of the narrator in the first few entries and the heaviness of the topics teased on the book summary, but the author did a great job of showing how Julia matures and her worldview and understanding of her parents matures over the course of the book. There are some very heavy topics either glanced a or addressed head on and when you add it to the normal heavy issues of adolescence, you end up with an engaging, interesting novel. And it's a good reminder that as a parent the choices I make don't only affect me.

**Thanks to the author, publisher, and NetGalley for a free copy in exchange for an honest review.

[Yadira · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book is phenomenal - on multiple levels. So much so that this is the first time I'm writing one of these reviews for a book.

As a Latina American fighting for the rights of my Latin brothers and sisters on both sides of the boarder, this book gave me a better glimpse into the reality that so many Latinx people face. The Everything I Have Lost is a great book to use as a tool to discuss our situation at the boarder, the reality of living in a dangerous country, and more.

Julia is a great character that undergoes a lot of character development. Her story begins as a young and naive 11 year old and ends as a flawed and angry, yet hopeful, 15 year old. The relationship Julia has with her mother was particularly emotional for me and I can only hope that years after the book's setting, Julia and her mother find peace and forgiveness.

I highly recommend this book to everyone, and I can only hope that many more people read it.

[Althea · Rating 3 out of 5]

The Everything I Have Lost is a wonderful and hard-hitting novel told by our main character, Julia, through her diaries. She has lived her whole life in Juarez, Mexico, being told that it's not safe to play out in the streets as the city is rife with crime and narcotráficos. But one day her dad doesn't come home after his usual long work trips away, and Julia and her brother are sent to live with her aunt and bisabuela across the border.

This was a really interesting book, not least because of Julia's narration. I listened to the audiobook of this and I thought that the narrator did a fantastic job. Although this book is marketed as middle grade - and it's very apparent in her voice - but the subject matter can be quite heavy at times, so I'd maybe recommend it if you're looking for something in the realm of the younger end of the YA spectrum.

Overall, this was a really great, quick read, but I did have some issues - namely with the weird incest subplot that was never really addressed as being...you know...bad, and the fatphobia near the end of the book. I also think at times it fed a little too much into the whole American dream thing for my liking. But otherwise I did enjoy my read!

Thanks to Netgalley and OrangeSky Audio for an audio ARC in return for an honest review!

[Kitty G Books · Rating 3 out of 5]

So I read this book for my work book club and I certainly enjoyed it, although it is written for a younger YA audience and therefore it doesn't go into some of the darker side as deeply as an adult book would. This is told in a diary format and we follow our main character who lives in a world which is run by cartel and certainly not the best place to grow up. At first when her dad gets a new job she thinks it's a good thing and that this could change their fate, but as time goes on and more time passes with her dad having to take longer trips and seeming to be in trouble, she realises more of the bleakness around her. She's about 12 when she's writing so she's very naive and young and despiute that she does learn more with time. She lives a little bit of denial too, and I think that this made her a frustrating character at times, but I can understand how kids only want to see and think the best of their family until the obvious is staring at them. 3*s overall

[Kim · Rating 3 out of 5]

ARC - out in September 2019

This would make for a great middle school or early high school discussion for a book club or class.

A Dear Diary young adult novel about a young-for-her-age tween named Julia living between Juárez, México and el Paso, Texas. Her Bis (bisabuela; great-grandmother) is wise and loving even when she's suffering from dementia. Her mamá is obsessed with her papá and deeply codependent. Her papá takes on a new job that she and her brother are vague about, but their tía does not approve of. For awhile, there's money and freedom. But soon, he's gone longer and longer, mamá becomes paranoid and distant, and the freedom of the money becomes a gilded cage becomes a cage. All the while, Julia is trying to navigate her tween years: boys, friends, makeup, school.

Because Julia is relatively naive and sheltered, the author is able to use her to help explain some of what's happening: Mexican politics, relationships, family, a friend's imprisoned father. The downside to this great teaching mechanism is that it leaves Julia a relatively blank slate, and made it difficult for me to develop any emotional investment in her.

The book captures a time and a place at a borderland, and what it is for a family to live on both sides of a border, two towns in plain view of each other separated by an enforced but ultimately imaginary line. For that alone, it's an important YA book.

My favourite parts of the book were exchanges between Julia and her papá's best friend, Pedro - several laugh out loud moments - and between Bis, Julia and her hermanito Willy. I also learned how to use "pinche" properly, and recall that cursing in foreign languages was very attractive to me when I was a tween and teenager, so that may be of additional interest to tween and teenage readers.

[Sol · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book is one of the most amazing books I have ever read. It tells the story that I see all around me and gives it shape so that others who don't live on the border can read it and know and feel. Sylvia Aguilar-Zéleny, I thank you.

[elise · Rating 3 out of 5]

A difficult but meaningful read.

✧ ✧ ✧

≪reading 31 books for 31 days of july≫
╰┈➤ 1. intimacies by katie kitamura
╰┈➤ 2. convenience store woman by sayaka murata
╰┈➤ 3. shout by laurie halse anderson
╰┈➤ 4. lemon by kwon yeo-sun
╰┈➤ 5. here the whole time by vitor martins
╰┈➤ 6. i’m still here: black dignity in a world made for whiteness by austin channing brown
╰┈➤ 7. the worst kind of want by liska jacobs
╰┈➤ 8. come as you are by emily nagoski
╰┈➤ 9. the swimmers by julie otsuka
╰┈➤ 10. fables: book one by bill willingham
╰┈➤ 11. the wild robot by peter brown
╰┈➤ 12. red to the bone by jacqueline woodson
╰┈➤ 13. afterlife by julia alvarez
╰┈➤ 14. no one is too small to make a difference by greta thunberg
╰┈➤ 15. ring shout by p. djèlí clark
╰┈➤ 16. a psalm for the wild-built by becky chambers
╰┈➤ 17. reasons to stay alive by matt haig
╰┈➤ 18. reminders of him by colleen hoover
╰┈➤ 19. binti by nnedi okorafor
╰┈➤ 20. the everything i have lost by sylvia zéleny

[Anna · Rating 3 out of 5]

This middle grade on the other hand it was kind of a big let down. It had so much potential but I just can't get over the sexist and fat phobic comments. This is a translated book, it was originally published in Spanish.

It follows Julia who is 12 to 13 throughout the book and it's written entirely out of her diary entries. Her family lives and Juarez, Mexico and they travel back and forth between El Paso Texas and Juarez. Her father is into some illegal shit trying to earn money and even though Julia her mother and her brother are all US citizens technically, her dad is not and so they end up staying in Mexico. There's a lot of discussions about the unsafe situation and violence.

There is a huge push about periods for some reason and the fact that when someone gets theirs, they're automatically a woman and this was repeated over and over and over again and I wanted to scream. Not only is it super transphobic to say that, but children who start their periods at 11 to 13 are not adults. A bodily function does not make adulthood.

There's also a single fat character in this entire book and of course they are a bully and they are only referred to as Fat Nelly. there are pieces of the story that I really appreciate and that I liked but there were others that just irked me to no end.

[ruffles · Rating 2 out of 5]

I actually read the audio ARC but Goodreads doesn't have this version yet. I had the audio from NetGalley so I didn't have the ASIN to add the book to Goodreads. Disclaimer: I received the audio arc from NetGalley and OrangeSky Audio and I read it and I'm reviewing it voluntarily.

I did not enjoy this. I knew it was going to be a sad read based on the book synopsis and so maybe it's to be expected that I didn't enjoy it. I had to take a lot of breaks from reading it both because of the content and because I didn't like the voice of the audio ARC narrator Lori Felipe-Barkin. I know it's supposed to be a young child's voice but some narrators can do a child's voice without it sounding shrill and grating. Unfortunately, it was not the case here, the narration was difficult to listen to.

I do think that this would be a good book for jr. high and high schoolers to read and see a perspective that's different from theirs so they can grow in their empathy towards others and in their gratitude for their privilege. I definitely felt sad for Julia and girls like her and felt grateful for my life and safety.

[Alex Nonymous · Rating 3 out of 5]

Thanks to the publisher for providing an early copy of the audiobook for The Everything I Have Lost in exchange for an honest review.

First off, the narrator here does a really good job. It's especially difficult to narrate less traditional styles like diaries but Lori Felipe-Barkin really brings Julia to life. While Julia herself reads as a younger-than-her-age protagonist, it matches the sheltered way she was raised enough that it never really becomes distracting enough to take away from the story. That being said, while I get how the decision to make her oblivious to a lot of what was going on was intentional, it did make an already fairly short book sound rather repetitive since we got to see something happen, see other characters react to it, see someone tell Julia chapter later, then see Julia react to it herself. Other than that, I think this was a really good story.

[Paige Johnson · Rating 5 out of 5]

I’m skeptical of YA for being too simple but this’s the best book I’ve read this yr. Adults should def read. Realistically poetic/poignant, being a 13 y/o Mexican girl’s diary documenting her bored frustrations, not understanding the world she’s in. Her mom is an artistic Texan, hopelessly in love with her husband involved w/ some sketchy sh!t—not that the MC knows exactly what, which ratchets up tensions. Even though we know people always go missing in this murder capital and can sense the quiet trauma of what her dad has seen, we keep guessing what /exactly/ his role is. Drug dealer? Money launderer? Border transport? Gov informant?

Meanwhile, MC Julia deals with common American tween complaints as she hops between cities to stay safe: about gossiping friends who also only get half-truths from their families, daddy- and boy-issues, raging against your cautious mother, the confusion of aging family members, and sexual curiosity—even w/ a cousin!

I like how realistic and well-paced it was that whenever Julia got in a fight, she would be reluctant to spill the beans at first, or how, as she got older, she cursed more. It was relatable how she would keep track of pretty/interesting phrases she heard, giving them a gravity while showing innocence. Because this is written like an actual journal, there’s tension in not getting some people’s full backstory because the narrator already knows them or wouldn’t write some of it down—so you wonder how creepy or criminal some intentions are.

As a funny aside, there is a Leon: The Professional reference I at first thought was referring to the other Mathilda, the bratty-braid-haired-kid movie. Even though the former is one of my favs, I forgot they share a name. In the same vein as this, this book makes you feel every emotion, especially the light triviality in a dire situation.

[Lys · Rating 3 out of 5]

Thank to Edelweiss for the eARC!

I want to begin by saying that I think this story is of vital importance. There is a lot of crucial work being done on these pages -- explorations of borders, crime, family, love, growing up, perceptions of womanhood, danger to females, bilingualism, education. Julia's growth from a tween into a young woman and her time spent in both Juarez and El Paso is a perspective that needs more representation. I'm glad this book exists and I hope more stories like this are published in English so that American teens can read about these lived experiences.

That being said, I found the diary format difficult. The stream of consciousness left me with a lot of questions and what it came down to was wanting this exact story told in a different way.

[Laura Gardner · Rating 4 out of 5]

What did you like about the book? “...my diary is the only place where I get to say what I feel. So, that is it, I will write. I will write everything I feel. Once I figure out what I feel, of course.”
Julia’s experience in Juarez, Mexico and El Paso, Texas is detailed in her diary, which spans her life from ages 12 - 15. She writes about normal coming of age experiences like friendship drama, school, and boys she’s interested in, but these entries are interspersed with signs of trauma. Her father is involved in some sort of shady enterprise and sometimes doesn’t come home for long periods of time or comes home beat up. Her mother sometimes doesn’t get out of bed for days and leaves the kids in the care of their Bis, their great-grandmother, who has dementia. Julia’s community is beset by violence; it isn’t safe to go outside in Juarez and she frequently overhears adults talking about girls who are taken or raped. In short, Julia’s life, and that of her younger brother Willy, is stressful and difficult. When her father is hospitalized, her mother finally sends the two children to live with their Tia in El Paso. The contrast between life in Juarez and El Paso is stark; the schools have supplies in Texas, it is safe to bike around the neighborhood, and Julia is actually able to enjoy a somewhat normal childhood. She misses her parents, however, and feels abandoned by her mother.
This U.S. middle grade debut (the author has published frequently in Mexico) is filled with heartache, but Julia’s diary entries also manage to convey humor.
To whom would you recommend this book? Students who are interested in reading about the experiences of teenagers from other countries.
Anything you didn’t like about it? It’s a bit confusing what age level this is for. At first I thought it was for younger readers because of Julia’s naivete in the beginning of the book, but as the book goes on it’s clear that parts are too mature for younger readers (expletives, sexual content, etc). I’m not sure it will appeal to either age group in its entirety.

[Ali · Rating 3 out of 5]

Rating: ⭐️⭐️⭐️✨
Don’t forget to search Trigger Warnings before reading.
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Thank you to NetGalley and OrangeSky Audio for the audio ARC of this book in exchange for my honest review!
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This book was a unique read. Written as a 12 year olds diary this book covers a lot of topics from perceptions of womanhood, crime, family, borders, danger to females, etc. I felt like most of these topics were covered as well as they could be since a 12 year old was telling the story. Though I felt these topics could have been covered better if our narrator Julia was around 15. At times she was extremely naive and constantly repetitive that I almost wanted to just sit the book down.
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This one is written for middle grade and that’s where my review dropped a few stars. I felt this book was written for more young adult or adult readers. When I found out it was a middle grade I was honestly confused. I feel this book would make a bigger impact with its topics in a high school classroom or in a book clubs discussion.
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There was also a bit of stereotyping that I found disgusting. Throughout the book there is 1 plus sized character who is the stereotypical bully and is only referred to as Fat Nelly. I understand that this book is about a 12 year olds diary but the stereotyping of Nelly just didn’t sit right with me and bothered me throughout the books.
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Overall I felt it had some highs and lows. If the synopsis interests you I would definitely check it out! It is definitely an interesting read and I hate to rate it what I did.
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Synopsis: 12-year-old Julia keeps a diary about her life growing up in Juarez, Mexico. Life in Juarez is strange. People say it's the murder capital of the world. Dad’s gone a lot. They can’t play outside because it isn’t safe. Drug cartels rule the streets. Cars and people disappear, leaving behind pet cats. Then Dad disappears and Julia and her brother go live with her aunt in El Paso. What’s happened to her Dad? Julia wonders. Is he going to disappear forever? A coming-of-age story set in today’s Juarez.

[Ani · Rating 4 out of 5]

Big thanks to NetGalley and OrangeSky Audio for providing me with an audio copy of this book! This did not affect my review.

The Everything I Have Lost is a novel that consists out of diary entries written by 12-year-old Julia. She writes about everything: her school friends, the things she is and isn't allowed to do, the waiting for her period to come, and mostly about her family.

When Julia's father gets a new mysterious job, things seem to get better for Julia and her family. They get a new car and a new house, but Julia's father is always away for longer periods of time and he seems to be getting grumpier after every trip. When he disappears, Julia's whole world is turned upside down. What happened to her dad?

I listened to the audiobook and I have to say that the narrator did an exquisite job. I finished it in one sitting and never got distracted. I felt like I was able to experience all the events together with Julia and really sympathize with her, despite the age difference. It's hard to narrate diary entries of a 12-year-old in a way that will keep listeners listening, but also makes them realize that Julia is just a kid.

That's also part of why this book stands out in my eyes. Sylvia Zeleny portrayed Julia in a way that shows both sides of her: the naive kid and the kid that grew up way too fast and has seen too much. She's the girl that wanted nothing more than a bike, but also had to take care of her little brother when her parents weren't there (which was more often than not).

The Everything I Have Lost is a coming-of-age story set in Juarez and El Paso. This is an incredibly important book that I feel like many people should read, because it shows that the environment children grow up in has a lot of influence on them. A great example of that is how hearing gunshots on the streets has become normal for Julia, even though that's something that should never be considered normal. As someone who works with children, I believe that this book has truly made an impression on me.

[lea · Rating 4 out of 5]

The Everything I Have Lost is a remarkable coming of age story. This was a heartbreaking and heartfelt account told in diary entries. I felt like the themes and plot in this may be too much for some younger readers but it would be a great book and conversation starter to read as parent and child.

I really enjoyed this book as a whole and the message in the end was poignant, moving and tear-jerking but also very inspiring. The audio was fantastic and very easy to listen to and I highly recommend listening to this one. Overall this is one of the most surprising middle grades I have ever read and it was definitely memorable and I can see myself recommending this one to many people and families.

Thanks to Netgalley and OrangeSky Audio for an ALC. All opinions are honest and my own.

[Chelsey · Rating 4 out of 5]

I never finish audiobooks in one sitting, even short ones, but I was so engrossed with this one I kept finding random things to do while I kept listening. This book made me want to do chores! So weird.

It seems some people were bothered by the diary format but for me, hearing about the complex experience of life on the border through a young girl’s most private thoughts was incredibly powerful. The story starts when she’s 11 and naive, kind of aware of the problems in her neighborhood, country and family, but only in a vague sense. She’s still concerned about all of the things young girls everywhere think about, but through friend, boy, and school drama we get glimpses of the trauma that Julia is becoming increasingly aware of as she gets older. I loved this book and would definitely recommend.

Thank you NetGalley, author and publisher for the arc in exchange for an honest review.

[Bookworm212 · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is a lovely book. Clear and emotional, deep and thought-provoking.

I loved seeing how Julia, the main character, grew as the story went by, and how she went from a naive twelve-year-old to a knowledgeable teenager who is all too aware of the ways in which her life and her family are imperfect. I only wish the production quality of the book had been better. The font, the design, the copyediting. This book is remarkable, and it could have been a million times better with the right team effort behind it.

Highly recommended book! The story is emotional, and this is such a quick and easy read due to the diary format.

[christine✨ · Rating 3 out of 5]

Actual Rating: 3.5

Check out more of my bookish thoughts on instagram!

rating breakdown
Storytelling: 6
Characterization: 7
Artistry: 6
Lasting impact: 7
Emotional connection: 7

Ultimately, I enjoyed this one. I am usually a fan of diary-style books, but in this case I feel that the story suffered as a result of the form. Julia seems a little too innocent and removed from what happens around her, and I wanted more exploration of the themes of living on the border.

[Tari Lawson · Rating 4 out of 5]

I read this book after American Dirt after reading a review that suggested reading books from a Mexican author. This was one of the books on the reviewer's list. I really enjoyed this book. It is written in diary form told by a 13-year-old girl. This makes for a quick read. Even though it is short, it shows a lot of growth in the main character Julia and gives quite a bit of insight into life for some in Mexico. This would be a great book for teens as well as adults.

[Hannah Lauenstein · Rating 3 out of 5]

Forced to read for AP Spanish. It was fine

[Brandon Pending · Rating 4 out of 5]

Great coming of age YA that captures the unique experience of life on the border.
If you’re from El Paso or a border town city, a must read!

[Lazuli · Rating 2 out of 5]

For the most part, this book was pretty good. The author did a good job of capturing the voice of a preteen, and Julia was a very realistic character. I could feel all her emotions through the page, and empathized with her greatly.

That being said, I did take issue with two things:

1) There's a sexual abuse plotline that gets glossed over. Any book that deals with that kind of thing should be prepared to explore it properly and condemn it appropriately, but none of that ever really happened. It wasn't like it was just introduced for shock value and never mentioned again or anything, but I did find the fact that it was glossed over to be rather uncomfortable.

2) There's a lot of unchallenged fatphobia at the end

[Elyse · Rating 3 out of 5]

NetGalley Audio ARC.

This was a sad sort of middle grade story. Julia is caught between two worlds and two countries. Julia often sounds younger than she is purported to be, 12-14 throughout the book, I think, but at times sounds and acts like a 9-year-old. Julia navigates the world through the eyes of a child and she is not as grown up as she wants to be. Rush rush rush to grow up until she starts seeing and starts understanding what exactly the grown-ups are up to. It's at times jarring but very real and very modern.

[D.T. · Rating 3 out of 5]

Really good. Kids understand more than you think. The main character Julia’s narrative is very believable, even as the narrative gets more and more disturbing. There’s a lot of family dysfunction, growing pains, and narcos business.

3.5

[A · Rating 3 out of 5]

Note: I received an ARC of this book via netgalley and the publisher in exchange for my honest review of this audio book.

Audio book narration: 5*****

Lori Felipe-Barkin has done a wonderful job narrating this audio book. The narration makes this book easy to listen to.

Novel: 3***

I have so many issues with this book, but most of all, it was hard to listen to because I never got invested in Julia's story. This is not a happy book, and it's a hard read without having something that keeps the reader interested. 12-year-old Julia is irritatingly naive. Maybe this is explained by the fact that she does not have internet access (so cannot learn what her family, isolation and school are withholding from her), only leaves the house for school or with her parents, her family is severely dysfunctional and her parents keep her uninformed on everything from what her dad's job is to periods.

The book is promoted as a glimpse at life on both sides of the US-Mexico border, taking place in Juarez and El Paso, but for a major part of the novel we are introduced to Juarez through the eyes of a naive girl who is locked away at home and only see the direct consequences events have on Julia's life (such as being unable to leave the house).

Despite the fact that Julia's mother puts her husband before her children's safety and happiness at all times, a 14-year-old Julia and her baby brother eventually end up living in El Paso with their Tia, Bis (great grandmother) and cousin Jonas. Julia suddenly turns from naive girl to angry teen but still remains hopelessly childish in her thoughts and actions. Her anger is justified, but it seems highly unreasonable for her to resent finally being in the place she had been asking to move to for years because of all it has to offer her.

Even once she lives with her Tia I had lots of issues with the messages Julia and the reader are given. When Julia gets lost after her third day at school and arrives home late she is greeted with a slap on the cheek and a conversation that includes: "It happens everywhere. Girls are never safe." Also included are such gems as her best friend explaining to her that ' she has her father's blood, she is just like him' (that would be an organized crime hitman) and none of these things are ever questioned.

The ending has some positive notes, her hermanito is playing on the street, her mother may be returning to the land of the living and she has settled into high school... but I would have liked to see some more supportive characters, a teacher or school psychologist, an after school club or more positive friendships. Ideally, I think some therapy would have been appropriate for both children after all they have been through.

I was excited to read this book and am aware how much books by own voices authors on topics like these are needed, but I think this one has missed the mark, especially with middle grade readers in mind. It may still be a valuable resource if read at school with the support of a teacher or librarian who can fill in any gaps of information.

[Pao Vilchis · Rating 5 out of 5]

Note: I received a free copy of this book in exchange for an honest review. All of the opinions are my own and this did not affect my review in any way.

The only thing I knew about this book was that it was about a little girl growing up in Mexico and that is all it took to get me intrigued by it. Moreover, the author is Mexican and I love supporting Mexican authors.

In The Everything I Have Lost we follow 12-year-old Julia, who keeps a diary about her life growing up in Juarez, Mexico. Life in Juarez is strange. People say it’s the murder capital of the world. Dad’s gone a lot. They can’t play outside because it isn’t safe. Drug cartels rule the streets. The Every I Have Lost is an impactful coming of age story.

This book is phenomenal on so many levels. The way the author tells us Julia´s story through her diary entries makes the story much more personal and impactful. This book is an honest and raw glimpse on what some Latinx people live through and I thank the author for telling Julia´s story.

The character are outstanding, they are definitely flawed but that makes the book so much more realistic and it is easier to connect with them. Julia is such a sweet girl who is just trying to find where she fits in in this world. We see how she grows up throughout the book and it is very pleasant to find out who she ends up becoming.

For me the best part about the book was both the descriptions about both cultures and the ending. I am Mexican so reading about my country was a very heartwarming and heartbreaking experience. I loved how the author didn’t shy away from talking about both the good and the bad stuff from both Mexico and the USA. I loved how the author managed to make me feel like I was there with Julia experiencing everything my culture has to offer.

The ending brought me to tears, I believe it is one of the most impactful endings in a book I have ever read. There is no big plot twist or something like that, but the reflection and conclusion that Julia comes to in the end just hit me hard.

This book in my opinion is a masterpiece, I cannot wait to read everything that the author comes out with and I truly recommend this outstanding coming of age story. This is not only an excellent book but it is also a very important book to read now a days.

Thanks so much to the author, publisher and Netgalley for allowing me read and review this book.