Permission Granted: Be Who You Were Made to Be and Let Go of the Rest

by Melissa Camara Wilkins

From award-winning blogger Melissa Camara Wilkins, come and find a stunningly simple path to confidence and clarity. All you have to do is give yourself permission to show up as your gloriously imperfect self. Trying to fix yourself is exhausting. But being yourself - that is both possible and life-giving. The key is a simple heart-shift from chasing after perfection to learning to tell a truer story about ourselves, the world, and our place in it. Melissa Camara Wilkins invites you into her journey of discovering the profound simplicity of dropping the pretenses and allowing ourselves to be fully human - flaws and all. This is a story about making life simpler by letting go of who you think you're supposed to be and becoming who you really are. With wit and compassion, Melissa explores how to be present, show up as your real self, and get comfortable in your own skin by aligning the truth inside you with the life you live on the outside. Gain confidence with the freeing practices of dropping the mask, abandoning the experts, and understanding your real assignment. With refreshing honesty and insight, Melissa invites you to move from the either/or dichotomy into a spacious freedom of embracing the both/and - brave and scared, messy and real, gloriously imperfect and absolutely enough. This is your permission slip to be your whole, human self. For everyone who feels the pressure to fit in, measure up, and get it together, Permission Granted is a life-giving invitation to soul-level simplicity.

Genres: Nonfiction, Self Help

224 pages, Paperback

Published November 5, 2019

Reviews

[Lisa · Rating 1 out of 5]

This is one of those books that is full of lovely, pleasant musings but doesn't really say much. Or it says the same thing over and over. I felt like I just read one chapter with a bunch of different titles. If you make this into a drinking game and drink every time you read "showing up" and "you are who you are for a damn good reason," you will die of alcohol poisoning. I've read her blog before, and this feels bloggish. Nothing wrong with that. But it feels too repetitive for a book. Also, it's hard to relate to someone who thinks she's "the worst" because of things like mistakenly ordering something online while checking the price or being bad with calendars. Many of us have made much bigger mistakes and have self-esteem issues stemming from trauma. Perhaps she has those kinds of issues too, but the book doesn't present them, so it feels like a woman whose life is pretty together telling us some vague "just show up" advice, which is basically meaningless.

[Heather Caliri · Rating 5 out of 5]

What I love about this transformative book is how rooted it is in the ordinary days of parenting, adulting, and losing your shoes. Melissa Camara Wilkins manages to take the mundane and tilt it just enough to refract light through it. Buying pillows at Ikea becomes an object lesson in letting go. Being offered a sample at the grocery store turns into a chance to let go of other people's expectations. For those of us who want to grow, but wonder how to find the time or energy to do anything other than get the kids to wash their hands, Wilkins' book will be relatable, revelatory, and wise. She's honest about her own sense of self-loathing and failure--and also about the incredibly hopeful news she has to share: we don't have to stay in that brokenness. Instead, we can claim our title of beloved child in the here and now.

[Becky Kent · Rating 1 out of 5]

I very seldom abandon a book mid-read. I just couldn't finish this one. I don't relate to the author at all and as much as I tried she just didn't speak to me.

[Olisia · Rating 3 out of 5]

I enjoyed the quick read, however, it was real heavy on her own self-criticism. All-in-all the message was inspiring.

[Betsy · Rating 5 out of 5]

Poignant and on point

I loved melissa's story. Her style of writing was very relatable. At times it felt like she was talking right to me directly. Her stories were candid and poingnant.,and I completely related to her...again and again.

More importantly, her advice for moving beyond the roadblocks was on point. I had a number of "aha!" moments while reading this book. Those realizations were freeing, exciting, and uplifting.

Thank you Melissa for sharing your story so that others could benefit too.

ETA: some of the negative reviews implied the author was being shallow and trite for criticizing herself over miniscule things (rather than big mistakes like normal people), and that she was unrelatable. I think the concepts in her book can be extended to all sorts of mistakes, big or small. That being said, I would say that mistakes of all kinds have far reaching consequences. Extreme self-criticism, especially if it continues unchecked, can be devastating for your emotional well-being. If you struggle with perfectionism or toxic self-criticism, this book will be a godsend.

[Suebee · Rating 4 out of 5]

Recommended to me by the ladies interviewing the author on their Homeschool Sisters podcast. Grateful for her perspective that reinforces where I am in my faith journey. (Lots of Richard Rohr “both/and” references, Brene Brown, Rachel Held Evans eshet chayil) We are all created to love, we are made of love, God is love.

[Karen · Rating 1 out of 5]

This book talks a great deal about human brokenness and the love of God. However, it does not make mention of the antidote to that brokenness and the embodiment of God's love - Jesus Christ. This was a surprise as the book is published by Zondervan and is categorized as a "Christian Living" book.

[Meredith Inglis · Rating 1 out of 5]

I purchased this at Half Price Books today. I am disappointed because this was in the Christian section. To me; this is not Christian.

I practiced new age (unfortunately) for 3 years. She referenced a book by Richard Rohr- who speaks on Christian mysticism; the enneagram for the Christian (Christian’s don’t need to use this, it’s new age.)

I kept reading, “God is love” over and over. Not once was a Bible verse referenced. Not once was Jesus name mentioned. God is love; but God is also full of wrath. Not once do we hear about salvation through Christ.

I made it to page 55ish and DNF’d. I am going to return it to Half Price. It was either mistakenly placed in the Christian section and/or should have been on the mysticism side.

There were a few nuggets of good self help- but it was repetitive.

I’m moving on to the Max Lucado book. I want to hear about the Bible and Jesus- not about calendars.

[Diana · Rating 5 out of 5]

"How did other people hold it together all the time?... It's like there was some special thread to sew up your life that I did not have. I was the worst at finding the secret special thread store" (p.15).

If you've ever felt like everyone--except you--has it all together, this is your read. Melissa strikes the ideal balance between humor and honesty as she shares her journey from self-criticism to self-acceptance. Filled with stories from her real and sometimes messy life, the nuggets of wisdom just keep hitting home. This book provides a compassionate path to stripping away the bits that get in the way and learning to be who you really are, which is especially important as we model living with and loving each other to the next generation. Permission accepted!

[Jen · Rating 5 out of 5]

In today's society, busyness, perfectionism, comparison and striving to be enough are at the forefront of women's lives. Wilkins gives us permission to slow down, to come as we are and be at peace with who we were created to be. She reminds us that striving is something we need to let go of, as well as to let go of our never ending to do lists, guilt and too high expectations. Wilkins reminds us to follow our intuition and to question everything in order to walk the path we were designed to travel. Highly recommend!

I received an advanced digital copy of the book by the publisher. All opinions are my own.

[geekoutonreading : Tiffany · Rating 5 out of 5]

"Every minute I spend trying to live someone else’s version of my life moves me farther away from knowing who I am and what I need."
This book is extraordinary! Melissa Wilkins digs down deep and shows us herself, weaknesses and all. She makes you feel like you are worth it and you are loved, just as you are. I feel like women are always tearing ourselves down for our mistakes, not living up to expectations, etc. Melissa Wilkins gives us permission to give ourselves a break. This is an inspirational read. Highly recommended!!

[Melissa McMillan · Rating 5 out of 5]

Some books make you feel heavy when you’re done reading them. Or, they give you a laundry list of things you need to do, like a new life-prescription to be taken three times per day.

But Permission Granted does the exact opposite. After reading this book, I felt light; I felt like the only thing I needed to do was be me, which is to say, do nothing.

I would highly recommend this book to anyone who is struggling with how complicated life and living are. This book will calm your troubled mind and remind you there’s beauty in the mess - and that beauty is simply you being you.

[Melissa · Rating 5 out of 5]

"I don't have to be good at everything. I have other gifts." Over and over again, MCW told me just what I needed to hear! Permission Granted is an engaging read, full of relatable stories that really hit home. The author's voice is like that of a good friend, and you can almost imagine her sitting across the table from you, chatting over a cup of tea. If you are looking for a book that reminds you about grace and love and being who you are meant to be, then this is the book for you!

[Elisabeth Racz · Rating 5 out of 5]

Life Changing Read

I read this book over the course of twenty-three days — one chapter per day. It reads like a series of meditations that speak directly to the heart. I, for one, am extremely grateful for the hope and love the author conveys to her readers.

While most books claim to have all of the answers, this is a book that doesn’t have but one. The message is simple and eloquently expressed on every page — LOVE.

[Jill · Rating 3 out of 5]

Melissa offered up a great reminder that we need to lean into ourselves and stop taking ourselves so serious. We all have imperfections and should give ourselves grace more often. Showing up to others, with vulnerability, can be the best gift we can give ourselves.

My only real drawback was that she didn’t offer up hard and true examples of how to do this. She mentioned her group of friends that is led by Jessica but how do we do that without Jessica?!

[Alyssa · Rating 3 out of 5]

I will start off with a quote from the book: “we are choosing to be available to something, just not ourselves”. I think the author has a huge point there. It was pointed out that if you are a person that’s would rather be busy or please people, then you may need to take a step back. This book is written from the authors own experiences and then offers some insight as to how she moved forward from that. This may be a good book for a kid going into college?

[Rina Bernard · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book helped me realize how much other people's perception of me affect me. The author encourages us through anecdotes from her daily life to embark on a journey of freeing self-discovery. Perfect to read any time of the day since it does not require heavy focus. Don't rush through it though as you'll get more from it if you ponder each chapter.

[Tiffany Mitchell · Rating 3 out of 5]

I enjoyed parts of this book. I appreciated the stories she shared of mistakes she has made. Of thinking she is the worst. Tangible stories. I felt like she was really repetitive with her ideas, though. While reading this may give you a mind shift from perfectionism, there wasn’t a lot of actionable ways to deal with self criticism.

[Beatrix · Rating 1 out of 5]

If I´m reading a self-help book, I expect it to well.. help me actually.
This felt like reading someone´s journal, it was all good for you, but how was any of this actually helpful to someone?
Plus the author has 6 children and was complaining about not having time for herself, sorry but - you have 6 children, it was your choice I suppose?

[Sammi Green · Rating 4 out of 5]

A kind reminder to be gentle with yourself and a look into the mind of a woman. Each chapter contains relatable thoughts with graceful ways to counter the pressure we put on ourselves. From one woman to another this book will give you that spark back to start living for yourself again and let go of fear and shame that sometimes wants to control us and hold us back.

[Cara Meredith · Rating 4 out of 5]

Permission to be ...exactly who I am, for who I am is love. There could not have been a more fitting book to read while on sabbatical, and bonus, the woman is hilarious. Be on the lookout for tiny tidbits of funny!

[Janelle · Rating 5 out of 5]

Awesome! Melissa Camera Wilkins does a great job explaining how to stop making excuses, how to be who God made you to be, and how we don't need permission from anyone. Being ourselves, for a good reason! I highly recommend this book!

[Shay · Rating 3 out of 5]

I think she has a good point with her be yourself but it’s full of negative self-musings that are similar from chapter to chapter. Spends more time writing about her disapproval and less time on ways to mend those ideas into practical application.

[Pamela · Rating 5 out of 5]

Liberating!

An excellent book in so many ways. Permission Granted is a breath of really fresh air in a world polluted with performance fever!

[Morgan Sohl · Rating 2 out of 5]

Too much God talk and triteness overwhelmed some good points.

[Laurie · Rating 5 out of 5]

Probably THE best book I've ever read. Completely life changing.

[Avi D · Rating 3 out of 5]

Beautifully honest book. Nice read but if you’re looking for a book with tangible application it doesn’t seem to be that type of book. After all, everyone’s journey to self acceptance is varies.

[Tara · Rating 3 out of 5]

This book was okay. It just didn't do much for me.

[Michele Duffy · Rating 2 out of 5]

I read 2/3 of this book and then after awhile it seemed really repetitive. The author didn’t say anything new. So I skimmed the rest. I appreciated the message though.

[Taryn · Rating 5 out of 5]

Probably longer than it needed to be, but so much of this book was exactly what I needed to hear at exactly the right time, so 5 stars.