The Book of Waking Up: Experiencing the Divine Love That Reorders a Life

by Seth Haines, Shauna Niequist (Foreword)

The Book of Waking Up invites you to wake to your coping mechanisms, find the why behind your pain, and walk into the Divine Love of God. The inevitable pain of life gives us many reasons to check out--and many ways to do it. Alcohol, entertainment, pills, shopping, porn, chasing success, cashing checks, and collecting social media "likes"--these and so many other things anesthetize us from the wounds of everyday living. As Seth Haines wrote in his award-winning book, Coming Clean , "We're all drunk on something." In his compelling follow-up, The Book of Waking Up , Seth invites you into the story of healing. He invites you to see your coping mechanisms for what they are--lesser lovers, which cannot bring the peace, freedom, and wholeness you crave. Through guided reflections, sustainable soul practices, and stories from Seth's life and others, The Book of Waking Up points you toward the Divine Love of God that has the power to transform your life. As Seth writes, "Addiction is misplaced adoration." Now, join him on a journey toward the only Love worth adoring, the only Love that cures a soul. Join him on the journey to waking up.

Genres: Nonfiction, Faith, Christian, Spirituality, Theology, Memoir, Christian Living

224 pages, Paperback

First published January 7, 2020

About the author

Seth Haines is an attorney, author, and story consultant who makes his home in the Ozark mountains. His first, award-winning book, Coming Clean, is a raw account of his first ninety days of sobriety. His second book, The Book of Waking Up, is an artistic journey into the process of finding inner sobriety.

Through his writing, Seth shares how we find the Divine Love of God in a world full of pain. He and his wife Amber Haines have four boys and a dog named Lucy. You can find him at sethhaines.com, on Twitter at @sethhaines, or on instagram at @sethhaines.

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Reviews

[tonia peckover · Rating 3 out of 5]

Because my family has been involved for many years with foster care and adoption, addiction is something I'm familiar with. I've seen how substance abuse wrecks innocent brains and is passed down through family lines, how poverty and violence and shame rot everything. So I approached Seth Haines' book about addiction and what underlies it with some trepidation. When I was done, I had mixed feelings. First, I know Seth and know his sincerity and honesty and that comes through in this book. He is unflinchingly transparent about his own pain and the coping mechanisms that led to addiction in his life. That experience gives him a clear-eyed view of the tendency we all have to turn away from Divine Love and towards things that can trap us. (Money, sex, and social media get equal treatment alongside substance and porn abuse.) He believes that the way out of these disordered affections is through communion with God, and he experiences this in a very literal sense when the wine of the Eucharist becomes the agent of healing for his addiction to wine/alcohol. (Even though Haines' theology seems closer to Catholicism in this book, the writing style is still very evangelical in its folksy reliance on the bible for any spiritual input. That may be hard for readers who are not part of the target audience.) His best insights, in my opinion, come at the end of the book, when he talks about true sobriety. He describes a 135-pound heroin addict who gets clean, but ends up gaining over 100 pounds because he's transferred his addiction to junk food. "Sober? Really?" Haines asks. "Without an approach to dependency that treats the whole person, including the underlying narratives of pain, we'll never walk in waking sobriety." This I can agree with wholeheartedly.

Haines goes to great lengths to show that most of us deal with addictions of one kind or another that keeping us from connecting with Divine Love. On this level, I think the book works well and will be best for the type of people who have the money, time, and inclination to pick up a book on addiction and apply it to themselves. (Haines himself admits at one point that if you're reading the book, you are probably affluent-ish.) I do not think that Seth set out to write a manual for treating serious substance addiction or its generational effects and so I don't want to critique him too harshly on that point, but I did feel it was important to draw a distinction about who this book would be appropriate for. Personally, I would not simply hand it over to people I love who are mired in cycles of serious substance abuse and poverty. As a relatively healthy person, I can understand what he means when he says of his healing Eucharist experience, "The wine of my poison - it has become the substance of salvation," but as a mother, sister and friend of people who fight addiction daily, I had to put the book down for awhile. (He does leave a caveat for alcoholics saying they need to know their own weaknesses and do what is best for them. But I think that implies a level of health and awareness that many people I am involved with wouldn't have.)

According to the summary on the back of the book, "As Seth writes - addiction is simply misplaced adoration." I can certainly see areas in my own life where this is true and I appreciate Seth's encouragement to keep stripping away the things that obscure my connection to God, and I think this book is most appropriate for people who are in a similar place (or at least have done a good deal of work on rehabilitation, have wise support around them, and are ready and able to go deeper spiritually.)

[K.J. Ramsey · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book heightened all five of my senses, pulling my whole self into what I cannot describe any better than delight and gratitude. See, I write about pain. I write about neuroscience and the way God is inviting us into the paradox of paying attention to the parts of our lives we'd rather escape. But to see the same paradox embraced and enfleshed in Seth's honest, persistently playful and earthy voice—that made me sing.

God really is inviting me and you to hear and join the most stunning song, every day, here and now. Awake to the steady melody of grace alongside Seth. Let him take you on a trip, into the beautiful brain and body God gave you, the mechanisms of both your madness and his majesty, and realize all you ever needed to receive and ring with God's love is here. In Christ, your body and your pain are the place where you can wake up every day to witnessing the wonder that God really is with you, making you new.

From a craft perspective, I cannot get over the genius of Seth's short chapters. In a book on addiction and waking up, Seth subtly works with our limited attention spans to catapult us into a bigger story than we are used to paying attention to. It's so well done. As a therapist and fellow evangelist of the wonder of neuroscience and embodiment, I'm wildly grateful for how Seth accessibly invites readers into greater understanding of our embodiment.

Get it. Read it. Sit with it. Let it stir your soul and body and then talk about it with people who are safe and kind. Let Seth's words do a good number on your resistance to light. You'll be glad you did.

[Shawn Smucker · Rating 5 out of 5]

Seth's writing is beautiful, and his knowledge and awareness of addiction has changed the way I view sobriety. And cereal. And all good things.

[Laura Tremaine · Rating 5 out of 5]

My friend Seth Haines writes about addiction and Jesus in an out-of-the-box format and it’s pure poetry.

[John · Rating 4 out of 5]

I listened to The Book of Waking Up. First, as an audiobook, it was enjoyable to have Seth read it. I felt like we were sitting in a shop and talking more than just words coming at me. Seth's voice is grainy and comfortable like a fall day with crisp leaves.

I didn't know the book was about addiction and haven't read Coming Clean. It worked out because of the habits I'm trying to create right now and thinking through what is and isn't healthy. Seth is right too, we all have our addictions and coping mechanisms. But this isn't a non-fiction self-help study book. This book is filled with long meandering ideas, concrete prose that isn't in a hurry, and an atmosphere of hope.

There are a lot of examples, well-developed phrases, and disarming humor that combined create a powerful little book.

Listening (reading) becomes responsive here because the words are exciting and interesting. I'm sure I will be reading more from Haines in the future.

[Kevin Perrine · Rating 4 out of 5]

The number of stars you will give this book are proportional to the amount of effort you will put into it. If you simply ingest and forget The Book of Waking Up, you will probably rate it with two stars ("it was okay"). However, if you're honest with yourself and willing to journey alongside Seth. If you stop at the prompts and actually do the work you may find a trail that goes deeper and further than you imagined. Seth has given us, not a map, but a guidebook. He is a fellow traveler who wants to share his journey to help others be aware of the pitfalls along the way. He wants to lift the weary traveller's head to gaze upon the beauty and limitlessness of this Divine Love. If you're willing to do the work and join him in the journey of Waking Up it will bless you.

[Heidi · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book is powerful. I found it worth reading slowly, carefully, and with willingness to do the work to identify my own deep pain and associated coping behaviors. God had some surprises in store for me. I will refer back to this book as my journey continues.

[Andrew Gwinn · Rating 5 out of 5]

I heard of this book through some other authors that I follow and decided that I might as well pick it up and give it a read. I never considered myself to struggle with any addictions nor have I been on a journey to sobriety and did not expect for this book to be as “amazing” as others have said. However, this book was not what I was expecting it to be. I am walking away from this book with a greater understanding of the purpose and process of waking up from the slumber that I have been in for quite some time. In this short book, Haines invites readers into the process of understanding the addictions that we all turn to in order to cover the pain that comes with life, and the journey that we all face in overcoming those addictions. Such a timely message for every single person, no matter the season that they may find themselves in.

[Ryan Pelton · Rating 5 out of 5]

We're all addicts! Social media, food, shopping, sex, and success. We are pleasure factories made by and for God. Huh? That's exactly the point of this book. God is inviting us to wake up to his Divine Love and he'll use every means of his creation to do so. Seth Haines has written a fantastic book for anyone longing to experience freedom from addiction in all shapes and sizes. And to awaken to the realities of greater loves and affections in a Divine Love nothing on earth can offer. Written in short and reflective chapters, I highly recommend.

[David · Rating 5 out of 5]

Haines’s book draws a straight line from pain and our coping mechanisms to the idea that we can wake up to sacramental living in Christ and together with others. The writing is fresh, clear and quick. A good book to own and go back to.

[Traci Rhoades · Rating 5 out of 5]

An author's journey that takes you on your own journey. Read this slowly. Think through your own addictions (we've all got them). I liked the balance between science and story and scripture. Such a solid read.

[Kelly Gau · Rating 5 out of 5]

Oh Mr Seth Haines....Your attention to detail, skill at storytelling, wisdom with scripture is sure to bless anyone who dares to pic this book up. Thank you for sharing your path so that others can see that it’s worth it..and I’ll be waiting for your album.

[Bri McKoy · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is the first book I have read by Seth Haines. To be honest, I was taken by surprise at how the book is organized. It definitely is written in what seems more like a “daily readings" format with short musings on the subject Haines tackles. So I definitely found myself taking my time with this book. But I am so glad I did because I often found myself needing to sit with his writings on sobriety and addiction. After being halfway through the book I noticed that I was much more aware of all the things I run to when I am stressed, sad, or craving affirmation/stability/you name it. I am so grateful Haines writes about addiction and sobriety in a way that is accessible to everyone but in a way that does not water down the seriousness of addiction and the brilliance of sobriety. I especially liked that I was still in this book in the beginning of Lent. Haines is a brilliant writer. This is a book I will read again and again.

[Teryn · Rating 3 out of 5]

I listened to this on Audible and was also given a hard copy. I would describe the book as a sermon on the theology of addiction. I didn’t enjoy it as much as Coming Clean because it felt less personal and more preachy. His voice felt heavy and depressing. The constant numbers and repetitive use of the word “whizbang” were distracting.

There were moments of brilliance though. The thought I found most profound and have continued to think about is that pain tells us lies. “We are alone. We are not enough. No one is safe.” It’s made me think about my own tendency to think this way when Im hurting. I’m distrusting these thoughts more than I did before reading this book. I’m “awake” to the truth that they are lies that keep me from trusting God with my painful times.

3.5 stars

[Rachel Hafler · Rating 4 out of 5]

A convicting and honest look at what true sobriety means and a gentle invitation to examine our own disordered affections and attachments. The book is written in a very unique format as it is centered around five main questions and split into very short ideas within those sections; 163 individual "notes" in all. The section on sobriety resonated most with me. I read it fast, but took some time to journal on certain questions. I appreciate Seth's language here of "waking up" and having a rightly-ordered love for God and the connections he makes with the Ignatian Exercises. Really good, overall.

[Larissa · Rating 4 out of 5]

"Addiction is just misplaced adoration"

This book was beautifully written. The shorter chapters kept my attention. I loved how he paraphrased scripture in some of the chapters and how he acknowledged that addiction isn't only drugs and alcohol and porn. It's also book buying, Netflix watching, social media scrolling and anything that makes you feel better that isn't God. I loved hearing his story and how the he tied it altogether. I learned a little about how dopamine works and added a few books to my TBR and realized that I need to wake from several addictions.

[Kris Camealy · Rating 5 out of 5]

I read Seth's book, Coming Clean and so appreciated his honesty with which he delved into his recovery. Reading his follow-up book, The Book Of Waking Up is a tremendous, meaty companion guide for those of us willing to look at our own propensity for numbing and distracting ourselves. You don't have to have read Coming Clean to appreciate The Book Of Waking Up, but I highly recommend you read them both.

[John Majors · Rating 5 out of 5]

Anyone with "disordered desires" (i.e. everyone) should read this.

[Brenda Torres · Rating 4 out of 5]

This is a book for EVERYONE. It isn't just for those who are "addicts" as we've come to use the term. Everyone should read this. And reread it about once a year.

[Haley Baumeister · Rating 5 out of 5]

Seth is a gift — making complex, universal truths simple, personal, and necessary.

[Shelley · Rating 4 out of 5]

This book was highly recommended by several social media influencers who I follow and find helpful and encouraging so I was eager to read it. While it is good and I am glad I read it, it wasn’t what I was expecting. Although it covers very deep and relevant issues, it’s presented in very brief segments with lots of space left empty on many of the pages. Being a short read isn’t a bad thing, but I struggled with how best to go about reading the book. Taken one segment at a time as a devotional was how I began, but some segments are very brief and linked to subsequent ones so that threw me off. I ended up just reading it and pausing where I felt challenged or confronted or convicted. It is very useful in all three of those areas as I press on with the journey of being a clearer reflection of Jesus in how I live my every day life. At a later date, I would like to use this as a daily journaling prompt as part of my devotion time. I would recommend this to all as the author is a gifted writer and does a remarkable job of being transparent about very hard and personal areas of his life, faith, and journey towards Jesus.

[Jess · Rating 5 out of 5]

I haven't read a Christian living type book in a long while, but after seeing a couple writers I admire suggest Waking Up I finally dove in. I listened to this on audio through Scribd (Haines' narration is wonderful), but I'm going to have to purchase my own copy. This book is beautiful and rich. It's part Haines own story, but also mine too. The last three chapters had me on the edge of tears the whole time. It's...I'm not quite sure how to say...like someone holding your hand and speaking gently to you reminding you of the Love that first woke you and helping you pull off the bandaid addictions and coping mechanisms keep you from living awake.

[Rachel | All the RAD Reads · Rating 5 out of 5]

You all— this book. It’s honest. Essential. Unflinching and yet gracious, simple and yet profound, transformative and provocative and powerful. I’m grateful for it. I’ve been so convicted lately by how disordered so much of my life has become, how I’ve become truly addicted to things that take me away from what I was made for. This book was a safe hand to hold and a steady guide into a new way of living, one where everything falls into right order under Divine Love and where abundance and freedom reign. I’ve been changed by it and it’s a gift. I can’t recommend it enough.

[Ryan Cronin · Rating 4 out of 5]

“Everybody is drunk on something.” In our image-managed, pain-managed world, this is a great work to challenge the ways we are using God’s gifts in this world to self-medicate/control our aversion to pain. May this book challenge us to see God’s gifts as just that, gifts and treat them as sacraments.

[Shannon · Rating 5 out of 5]

I took a LONG time to read this book—not because it was difficult, but because it was so breathtakingly, beautifully simple, that if I’d read it fast I would’ve missed something. I’m not usually a re-reader of books, but I am putting this one in my “re-reader” collection to read again and again. I will need to be reminded often of the sweet truths in this book.

[Stefanni Lynch · Rating 5 out of 5]

Honest, kind, unflinching. This is a call to put aside whatever keeps us at a distance from Divine Love—not because of a rule, but because of the immeasurable blessing of being closer to God. Practical and mysterious at the same time—this book will go with me on my journey of waking up.

[Kelly · Rating 4 out of 5]

This is the rare book that draws you in with it's relational yet poetic (sometimes quirky) style. You begin to feel comfortable and friendly. Haines has created a safe place, for me it felt like a floaty, indie-music playing coffee shop. I was drinking tea and wondering at the turns of phrase that were unexpected but just right when suddenly I didn't feel safe anymore. There I was on the page: "I was not enough. I'd never been enough. My not-enoughness might cost" me something. Haines identifies the sources of pain: scarcity, abuse, and loss. He leads us into the pain, discusses the many ways we try to cope, and then shines a light on the way out of the pain. We misplace our affection onto the created rather than the Creator and follow the Pied Piper to our own destruction. I saw myself in the pain and then in too many of the misplaced coping distractions (binging Netflix, scrolling social media, sugar). This book felt like a friend. As I write this our city is still somewhat shut down for Covid-19; mask-wearing is recommended, there are few social gatherings and we must keep our distance. I also read this just after the deaths of Ahmaud Arbery, Breonna Taylor, and George Floyd. So much pain. Seth Haines and his hopeful book invited me back into the coffee shop, poured me a cup of tea & became for a little while the community I needed (books and authors are friends). This was the right book at the right time.

[Bethany · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is a book I can imagine I’ll recommend widely.

While I haven’t read his other work, he talks here a great deal about addiction, with which he has history. With many references to the works of C.S. Lewis, Seth talks about our misplaced adorations, our reliance on things that are not God. God has given us desires to lead us to the Divine, he says, and we end up turning them—things that God intended for our good—into coping mechanisms to avoid pain and, ultimately, avoid God.

I did get a little annoyed at his use of the word “whiz-bang” but I suppose it was the best way to describe the momentary satisfaction, the dopamine hit, that comes from the things we seek to fill the pain.

I was surprised by the absence of the word “distraction” because that’s what I believe we are seeking in place of God.

I was convicted when he talked of our addictions as not only being alcohol or drugs or disordered eating, but also book buying. (Sincerely.)

I wanted to applaud as he talked about our tendency to replace one addiction for another. Sure, I’m no longer a workaholic, but I binge watch Netflix every night.

This book is accessible with religious language that is phrased more like The Message.

This is a good 101 for naming your pain and your coping mechanisms (we all have them). Then I’d recommend Aundi Kolber’s Try Softer as a follow up for some deeper work.

[Mattie Hamby · Rating 4 out of 5]

this book tackles the heaviness of straight addiction & the slipperiness of thoughtless distraction, through the lense of Christ’s gospel.

one of the reasons i basically quit reading after college years was that most books i felt i “should be” reading were all too… serious, heavy… & life was too.

while i have hit the pause button on this one a few times for that same reason,
i’m glad i got to return to it!
the book is written in very small chapters, making the heavy subject more digestible… I think that creating space for the tendencies many of us have to distraction was incredibly intuitive for the crowd likely to read this.

seth speaks kindly & honestly about his own experience, which i think inspires the same feelings towards myself.

there is measurable action that’s easy to make personal.

and mostly what i love is that it’s not a “self help” book. & while it can be partially summarized in “hey keep an eye out/ get honest about seeking the created over the creator”,
the message is thorough & layered enough so that the most denying person cannot escape their own responsibilities & God’s grace in it.

i think the only thing i would change would be the addition of more exercises & prompts threaded within to prevent “putting it off”.

[Laurie · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is a book you will want to own. Because you will want to revisit certain pages of it over and over; because it is like taking a deep breath and having things seem clearer and more manageable on the exhale. It is a perspective change- one that makes more sense than any book I’ve ever read on this topic.

Seth Haines writes clearly about misplaced adorations keeping us asleep to a greater love. This language of asleep/awake has changed and enhanced my thinking.

His format is unique and easy to read; he stops the “chapter” (which is sometimes less than one page) right at the point where I would normally have set down the book to think more deeply about what was just said. But because he maintains this format, it doesn’t feel overwhelming and I wanted to pick it back up. It gave me time to digest, and because he is indeed building on each page and taking the reader on a journey, that is important.

Read to the end- this isn’t like all the other books.