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Losing My Voice to Find It: How a Rockstar Discovered His Greatest Purpose
The incredible story of a lead singer's rise to fame and his crushing fall when he lost his singing voice, his career, and his marriage--and then found a new calling more in tune with God than he ever thought possible. Mark Stuart was the front man of popular Christian rock band, Audio Adrenaline, at a time when the Christian music scene exploded. Advancing from garage band to global success, the group sold out stadiums all over the world, won Grammy Awards, and even celebrated an album going certified Gold. But after almost twenty years, Mark's voice began to give out. When doctors diagnosed him with a debilitating disease, the career with the band he'd founded and dedicated his life to building was gone. Then to his shock, his wife ended their marriage, and Mark believed he'd lost everything. Unsure of his future, Mark traveled to Haiti to help with the band's ministry, the Hands and Feet Project. When the devastating 2010 earthquake hit, media learned he was present and sought him out for interviews. Ironically, Mark became the scratchy voice for the struggling Haitians, drawing the world's attention to their dire circumstances. In the process, Mark found a greater purpose than he'd ever known before. In this gripping, compelling new book, Mark Stuart overlays his story with passages from the gospel of John, urging his readers to listen for God's voice and to embrace his big love that calls us into a big life.
256 pages, Hardcover
Published November 5, 2019
39 people are currently reading
907 people want to read
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 52 reviews
March 27, 2020
DC Talk was my entryway into Christian rock back in the late 90s. My best friend introduced me to Jesus Freak one night on his five-disc boom box, and I knew the game had changed completely. With a little help from compilation albums like WOW, I discovered all the genre had to offer, including the Newsboys, Third Day, Jars of Clay, and of course, Audio Adrenaline. (I knew the song Big House long before I had any idea who AA was, but that's another story.) This book peaked my interest on name recognition alone. Of course, it's been a long time since I've driven down the road with my windows down and Get Down thumping through the speakers at full blast, but I couldn't pretend that I wasn't intrigued to know the story of the band. On a particularly nostalgic day (and in the midst of this quarantine, they seem to come with more frequency), I caved in and ordered the book on Amazon. Let me tell you, I am so happy that I did.
For casual fans to the genre, this book offers insight to a massive wave that submerged the Church for just over a decade. It's odd to think in today's world of KLOVE and the occasional mainstream band that makes it onto Top 40 radio stations (P.O.D. for example) that there was a time when "Christian rock" was uncommon, unusual, and even controversial. Audio Adrenaline blazed a trail alongside others in the industry. That alone is a story worth reading about. What I didn't expect to read was Mark's struggle with his marriage and doubts about the very God he preached every night on stage for years of his life. His transparency is what carries this book. Yes, the story of the band and the industry from backstage is fun and carries the book; as a fan of AA from way back in the day, I was fascinated to read about the movement I experienced from someone leading the way. It was like reading about my own teenage years from the opposite side of the spectrum. But the beauty of the story, the part that kept me glued to the page, was the humanity of it. Like so many stars in the spotlight (especially among Christian spheres), I had no idea how harrowing Mark's personal life had become in the dark of the night. I'd hate to spoil it here, since I had no idea how the story would end myself. Suffice it to say, the story dips deep into despair and high into glory and hope. The lows are heart wrenching; the highs magnificent and beautiful.
Having written an auto-biographical book myself, I understand the difficulties associated with expressing the goodness of God so often found in his fingerprints and transcendent experiences that simply can't be sufficiently explained, alongside the harrowing doubt that plagues the minds and hearts of anyone willing to own their faith in an honest way. Mark finds a perfect balance, never forcing the reader to believe in his God, but never wallowing in despair beyond the point of redemption...or at least, not beyond the capability of what God is capable of. It's an amazing story, told beautifully, and I'd be lying if I said I haven't been listening to AA a lot recently. Songs I'd long since written off as fun and silly, I now hear with depth and heart. Ocean Floor kicked me in the face just yesterday. I never realized that I'd never actually listened to the words. It'll do a number on you if you let it.
I recommend this book. I'm bias, yes. But I think people will enjoy it regardless of their experience with 90s/00s Christian rock. For those who remember looking through CDs at Lifeway, going to concerts with the youth group on Saturday night, frustratingly trying to explain to your parents that Jesus Freak was not satanic, discovering new Christian artists on Napster, and singing Big House alongside your peers with a beachball or two to amp up the crowd, this book is exactly what you've been waiting for.
Some day, Mark, let's get coffee.
For casual fans to the genre, this book offers insight to a massive wave that submerged the Church for just over a decade. It's odd to think in today's world of KLOVE and the occasional mainstream band that makes it onto Top 40 radio stations (P.O.D. for example) that there was a time when "Christian rock" was uncommon, unusual, and even controversial. Audio Adrenaline blazed a trail alongside others in the industry. That alone is a story worth reading about. What I didn't expect to read was Mark's struggle with his marriage and doubts about the very God he preached every night on stage for years of his life. His transparency is what carries this book. Yes, the story of the band and the industry from backstage is fun and carries the book; as a fan of AA from way back in the day, I was fascinated to read about the movement I experienced from someone leading the way. It was like reading about my own teenage years from the opposite side of the spectrum. But the beauty of the story, the part that kept me glued to the page, was the humanity of it. Like so many stars in the spotlight (especially among Christian spheres), I had no idea how harrowing Mark's personal life had become in the dark of the night. I'd hate to spoil it here, since I had no idea how the story would end myself. Suffice it to say, the story dips deep into despair and high into glory and hope. The lows are heart wrenching; the highs magnificent and beautiful.
Having written an auto-biographical book myself, I understand the difficulties associated with expressing the goodness of God so often found in his fingerprints and transcendent experiences that simply can't be sufficiently explained, alongside the harrowing doubt that plagues the minds and hearts of anyone willing to own their faith in an honest way. Mark finds a perfect balance, never forcing the reader to believe in his God, but never wallowing in despair beyond the point of redemption...or at least, not beyond the capability of what God is capable of. It's an amazing story, told beautifully, and I'd be lying if I said I haven't been listening to AA a lot recently. Songs I'd long since written off as fun and silly, I now hear with depth and heart. Ocean Floor kicked me in the face just yesterday. I never realized that I'd never actually listened to the words. It'll do a number on you if you let it.
I recommend this book. I'm bias, yes. But I think people will enjoy it regardless of their experience with 90s/00s Christian rock. For those who remember looking through CDs at Lifeway, going to concerts with the youth group on Saturday night, frustratingly trying to explain to your parents that Jesus Freak was not satanic, discovering new Christian artists on Napster, and singing Big House alongside your peers with a beachball or two to amp up the crowd, this book is exactly what you've been waiting for.
Some day, Mark, let's get coffee.
April 13, 2021
Okay, story time:
All the way back in spring of 2001, I was excited to be attending Festival Con Dios, a Christian music fest that sounded like a blast. My sister and brother-in-law, who were the ones that got me into CCM, even picked me up from school early, and we saw the Audio Adrenaline tour bus on the way there.
Unfortunately, the entire thing ended up being a bust...and all because of one unfortunate individual. The story me and my family members were told was that some guy was given money to get the necessary permits in order for the festival to be held legally...but, that dude ended up taking advantage of the festival holders, and merely taking their money with no intent to get those permits. So, we ended up heading back home, and I spent my evening with an episode of Weakest Link.
Though that incident was rather unfortunate, it shows not only how big my fandom for Christian music is, but how far it goes back. While countless entertainment franchises have come and gone from my life, CCM has been a big part of my world since the late nineties. My first favorite band was dc Talk, but, I soon discovered other Christian acts, ranging from Relient K to the Newsboys to, yes, Audio Adrenaline.
So, when I heard that former Audio A frontman Mark Stuart had written an autobiography, I knew I had to read it. I had lots of questions about what happened behind the scenes, especially when it came to him and TobyMac's sister. Thanks to the Apple Books store, I now know how the band was formed, where the name Audio Adrenaline came from, and the drama between Mr. Stuart and Kerri McKeehan.
Where this book loses a star is the occasional crude references; we don't need to know how the band members relieved themselves! Some discerning readers will likely take issue with that, especially if they're trying to read this while eating.
All the way back in spring of 2001, I was excited to be attending Festival Con Dios, a Christian music fest that sounded like a blast. My sister and brother-in-law, who were the ones that got me into CCM, even picked me up from school early, and we saw the Audio Adrenaline tour bus on the way there.
Unfortunately, the entire thing ended up being a bust...and all because of one unfortunate individual. The story me and my family members were told was that some guy was given money to get the necessary permits in order for the festival to be held legally...but, that dude ended up taking advantage of the festival holders, and merely taking their money with no intent to get those permits. So, we ended up heading back home, and I spent my evening with an episode of Weakest Link.
Though that incident was rather unfortunate, it shows not only how big my fandom for Christian music is, but how far it goes back. While countless entertainment franchises have come and gone from my life, CCM has been a big part of my world since the late nineties. My first favorite band was dc Talk, but, I soon discovered other Christian acts, ranging from Relient K to the Newsboys to, yes, Audio Adrenaline.
So, when I heard that former Audio A frontman Mark Stuart had written an autobiography, I knew I had to read it. I had lots of questions about what happened behind the scenes, especially when it came to him and TobyMac's sister. Thanks to the Apple Books store, I now know how the band was formed, where the name Audio Adrenaline came from, and the drama between Mr. Stuart and Kerri McKeehan.
Where this book loses a star is the occasional crude references; we don't need to know how the band members relieved themselves! Some discerning readers will likely take issue with that, especially if they're trying to read this while eating.
January 21, 2020
It seems harsh to give this book only two stars, but I didn't enjoy reading it until maybe the last 30 pages.
The writing style and the way the story was put together fell flat for me. There were cliffhanger moments on many chapter endings that didn't get explained or picked up until chapters later. This made parts feel like it dragged. Random road trip stories that didn't add to the story seemed out of place.
Mark talks of failures of the Church which some of his observations I agree with. Not all but some. What he doesn't seem to fully explain, but brushes on at the end is that his struggles were party because he wasn't in a church or accountability. His struggles were kept to himself. I wish he made a more pronounced statement on this. The Church has flaws but is needed in the Christians life.
The part he shares about his marriage is vauge. I'm sure there was more to the story. I'm glad it wasn't a tell all, but it seemed odd to hear the marriage ended because of unreconcilable differences.
The struggles Mark had are shared in over three quarters of the book. I kept waiting for the "But God" moment. It did finally come and I enjoyed that part. I just wish more of the book was focused on God's redemption.
The writing style and the way the story was put together fell flat for me. There were cliffhanger moments on many chapter endings that didn't get explained or picked up until chapters later. This made parts feel like it dragged. Random road trip stories that didn't add to the story seemed out of place.
Mark talks of failures of the Church which some of his observations I agree with. Not all but some. What he doesn't seem to fully explain, but brushes on at the end is that his struggles were party because he wasn't in a church or accountability. His struggles were kept to himself. I wish he made a more pronounced statement on this. The Church has flaws but is needed in the Christians life.
The part he shares about his marriage is vauge. I'm sure there was more to the story. I'm glad it wasn't a tell all, but it seemed odd to hear the marriage ended because of unreconcilable differences.
The struggles Mark had are shared in over three quarters of the book. I kept waiting for the "But God" moment. It did finally come and I enjoyed that part. I just wish more of the book was focused on God's redemption.
November 20, 2019
As a follower of Audio Adrenaline during the time of their rise through their breakup, I really enjoyed this book. However, I don't think this book will be interesting for those who are unfamiliar with the band. Mark takes the reader through the band's history and decisions that lead to their songs, albums, and concerts. It was interesting to see how Audio A contributed to, and was impacted by, the rising popularity of Christian rock music. An incredible amount of luck was involved with the band's success and it was fun to read about the risks that the band took in order to be successful. I also loved seeing Mark's perspective on how my favorite songs were formed and what the band was experiencing during the farewell concert I remember attending. This is a great book for Audio Adrenaline fans.
January 10, 2020
This book is a perfectly-crafted rock-‘n’-roll memoir of success, stardom, loss, grief, and recovery spawned from resurrection power.
I remember seeing Audio Adrenaline twice, both at the SonShine Music Festival in Minnesota, and both were the penultimate and final tours for the band with Mark Stuart as their lead singer. Though they’ve since reformed with new members, I still miss vintage Audio Adrenaline. Reading Stuart’s memoir helped me relive the glory days of the band.
Transparency jumps from every page, as Mark takes us through his early life and the story of the band first known as A-180. I loved how he shared his vulnerability about his inability to feel vulnerable when both his voice and his marriage were on the rocks. He doesn’t give us the usual “God changed my past life into a new one” story, but weaves a tale of his own personal growth in God and as the man whom God created him to be. In short, the guy is just plain genuine and real.
Charles Stanley writes that “Life’s storms can either stunt or accelerate our spiritual growth. The determining factor is our reaction.” It is clear from Mark Stuart’s memoir that he responded to the trials he faced, throughout his career and up to its supposed end, by trusting God more and more, and giving up control to God. In a sense, surrendering.
To be sure: God doesn’t cause us to have spasmodic dysphonia, or for our spouses to drift away from us, or for hurricanes or earthquakes to hit an impoverished country like Haiti, where the Hands and Feet non-profit continues its blessing work. But God works wonders through those trials all the same.
Mark Stuart may have lost his singing voice, but God have him an even bigger one instead.
I remember seeing Audio Adrenaline twice, both at the SonShine Music Festival in Minnesota, and both were the penultimate and final tours for the band with Mark Stuart as their lead singer. Though they’ve since reformed with new members, I still miss vintage Audio Adrenaline. Reading Stuart’s memoir helped me relive the glory days of the band.
Transparency jumps from every page, as Mark takes us through his early life and the story of the band first known as A-180. I loved how he shared his vulnerability about his inability to feel vulnerable when both his voice and his marriage were on the rocks. He doesn’t give us the usual “God changed my past life into a new one” story, but weaves a tale of his own personal growth in God and as the man whom God created him to be. In short, the guy is just plain genuine and real.
Charles Stanley writes that “Life’s storms can either stunt or accelerate our spiritual growth. The determining factor is our reaction.” It is clear from Mark Stuart’s memoir that he responded to the trials he faced, throughout his career and up to its supposed end, by trusting God more and more, and giving up control to God. In a sense, surrendering.
To be sure: God doesn’t cause us to have spasmodic dysphonia, or for our spouses to drift away from us, or for hurricanes or earthquakes to hit an impoverished country like Haiti, where the Hands and Feet non-profit continues its blessing work. But God works wonders through those trials all the same.
Mark Stuart may have lost his singing voice, but God have him an even bigger one instead.
January 28, 2025
It was interesting hearing about the history of audio adrenaline.
They weren't my favorite band growing up, but I did love hands and feet!
A mission's anthem.
They weren't my favorite band growing up, but I did love hands and feet!
A mission's anthem.
November 25, 2019
Underdog With A Mighty Good Leader. Audio Adrenaline was yet another of those groups that provided a voice for an Autistic kid's teenage years as he transitioned from innocent trailer park kid to... not so innocent... young adult that grew up in the American Church. Seeing the story of its founding lead singer was very interesting, as was seeing the stories behind so many of their biggest hits and how so often they came out of what was going on in Stuart's life at the time. With a poetic and evocative prose that displays his songwriting talent well, Stuart lays bare the story of his own life, its tragedies and its moutaintops - and the time the mountaintop literally crumbled before his eyes in Haiti. He speaks seemingly candidly about his struggles in his marriage to TobyMac's sister and how very much TobyMac himself did for Audio Adrenaline over the years, particularly at the beginning. He mentions signing Jennifer Knapp, but only spends a couple of brief paragraphs talking about her debut and Kansas before moving on, gently sideswiping that particular bit of CCM drama over the last decade or so (but which Knapp herself lays bare in her 2014 work Facing The Music). And through it all, we get the story of the rise and fall (and rise again) of Audio Adrenaline, one of the major acts in Christian Music through the 1990s and early 2000s, as seen through the eyes of its lead singer at the time. Great for music fans, great for Audio A fans, and even great for those just looking for a solid story with maybe a bit of hope to it. Very much recommended.
November 21, 2019
Mark Stuart's story is heart-wrenching and beautiful. If you listened to Audio Adrenaline or not, this book is worth the read. Mark is honest and open about the heartaches of his life and the way God worked. I love stories that show the truth and grace of God, and Mark's does. I enjoyed reading about the influence the band's music had on so many. As Mark ends the book and talks about his ministry in Haiti, I am once again reminded that God has purpose for us. This is an excellent book, written from the heart. I chose to review Mark's book because my daughters and I listened to their music, Kentucky Christian College/University is my alma mater and I grew up with band member, Bob Herdman. I received a complimentary copy of this book. Opinions expressed in this review are completely my own.
January 1, 2020
Good and horrible from start to finish!
I've loved Audio Adrenaline for literally half of my life. I read this book in a day, and got to relive the good and hard times from that era, which I now refer to as the summer of my lifetime.
This book is so good... It recounts the formation of the band and the fun times on the road.
It's also a hard read because of the heartbreak. Unbeknownst to Mark, it also reminded me of the hard times in my, my family's, and my friends' lives that paralleled many of the stories shared.
Ultimately, this is a testament to the graciousness, patience, and never-ending love of God. That an unknown future can be trusted to our known God.
Thank you, Mark, for opening up and letting us in, and filling us in on the "rest of the story."
I've loved Audio Adrenaline for literally half of my life. I read this book in a day, and got to relive the good and hard times from that era, which I now refer to as the summer of my lifetime.
This book is so good... It recounts the formation of the band and the fun times on the road.
It's also a hard read because of the heartbreak. Unbeknownst to Mark, it also reminded me of the hard times in my, my family's, and my friends' lives that paralleled many of the stories shared.
Ultimately, this is a testament to the graciousness, patience, and never-ending love of God. That an unknown future can be trusted to our known God.
Thank you, Mark, for opening up and letting us in, and filling us in on the "rest of the story."
February 17, 2020
Great book full of insight into the making of the Audio Adrenaline and the frontman Mark Stuart. While I was the teenager listening to their music and going to concerts, he was on the other side of the stage writing and performing, finding the meaning of his life and what was this all for anyway? I was enlightened, encouraged, sad, and joyful as Mark winds his way through AA’s journey. We are all in a journey of discovering God’s plan and will we fulfill it? Will it be what God intends? Will we enjoy the ride? Will we fail at times? His story is Raw, open, real. I love AudioA and Mark even more because of it.
December 30, 2019
This book is a must-read whether you grew up loving Mark Stuart and Audio Adrenaline like I did or not. It is a story of heartache, loss, redemption and overcoming, which we can all relate to. But more than that, it’s a story about how God simply never gives up on us, and how He can use us even in our most dire circumstances. Plan to carry tissues with you as you read because your heart will break, but then you’ll also laugh until you cry. Excellent book! I’ll likely read it a second - and maybe even third - time.
September 2, 2024
As I've gotten older, I've deconstructed and reconstructed my faith and have steadily grown more progressive than I was as an evangelical teenager. Audio Adrenaline was one of my favorite CCM bands back then, and I had a special love and respect for Mark Stuart and Will McGinniss. When I saw Mark had written a memoir, I desperately wanted to see if he still felt trustworthy and authentic today, or just another cog in the CCM/Christian entertainment industry machine. Selfishly, I also wanted to feel out whether or not he might have supported Trump. After watching many, many Christians get sucked in by Trump, including Michael Tait, and knowing that Mark comes from more of a rural/conservative background, it felt important to see if I could glean where Mark stood. And while there were a few phrases in the book that seemed to loosely echo far-right talking points/gripes, what was ABUNDANTLY more clear was Mark's love for, trust in, and devotion to Jesus. And Jesus couldn't be farther from Donald Trump.
This was an incredible memoir. Mark did a phenomenal job blending the evolution of Audio Adrenaline with his own personal life, especially his ill-fated marriage (which I, likely along with thousands of Audio A fans, knew absolutely nothing about back in the 2000s). He gives all of his bandmates their proper due and goes into the history of some of Audio A's biggest hits, including "We're a Band," "Underdog," "Ocean Floor," and, of course, "Big House." Other bands as diverse as Beastie Boys, Green Day, U2, Newsboys, Switchfoot, and especially dc Talk are woven into the book as well.
Mark is as earnest here as he was at the height of his career. He is a good and trustworthy man (I've used the word "trust" three times now. Deconstructed Christians and exvangelicals will understand). The overarching themes of failure, secrets, redemption, and grace are powerfully presented in both Mark's public and private life.
Finally, it is important to note the narrative emphasis on voice. Mark's physical singing voice may be gone, but his literary voice in this book is as clear, compelling, and genuine as his songs with Audio Adrenaline were. Reading this book reminded me why I loved Audio A so much as a teenager in the 2000s.
This was an incredible memoir. Mark did a phenomenal job blending the evolution of Audio Adrenaline with his own personal life, especially his ill-fated marriage (which I, likely along with thousands of Audio A fans, knew absolutely nothing about back in the 2000s). He gives all of his bandmates their proper due and goes into the history of some of Audio A's biggest hits, including "We're a Band," "Underdog," "Ocean Floor," and, of course, "Big House." Other bands as diverse as Beastie Boys, Green Day, U2, Newsboys, Switchfoot, and especially dc Talk are woven into the book as well.
Mark is as earnest here as he was at the height of his career. He is a good and trustworthy man (I've used the word "trust" three times now. Deconstructed Christians and exvangelicals will understand). The overarching themes of failure, secrets, redemption, and grace are powerfully presented in both Mark's public and private life.
Finally, it is important to note the narrative emphasis on voice. Mark's physical singing voice may be gone, but his literary voice in this book is as clear, compelling, and genuine as his songs with Audio Adrenaline were. Reading this book reminded me why I loved Audio A so much as a teenager in the 2000s.
January 19, 2024
liked it, but it was a bit boring some places. overall awesome story.
January 19, 2020
I grew up on a steady diet of Audio Adrenaline and other similar Christian bands. When Audio Adrenaline, Mark's band, seemed to disappear I was devastated. I never watch news or listen to the talk portions on the radio. Those outlets greatly bother me. So, for me it was like here and gone in 2 seconds flat.
Now years later here is Mark's side of what happened. The truth of why they disappeared.
As much as my nostalgic side wishes me to say there were no flaws in this book...I cannot lie. There were phrases and things in the book, that alluded to other events, that were never explained fully. Sometimes it seemed as if the writing, or telling of his memories, was being forced.
Also, there were a good dozen "syntax" errors within the formatting of this book. This is neither the fault of the publisher nor Mark. When reading eARC's sometimes these things happen.
I really enjoyed hearing the truth at last. And I enjoyed the book itself. But I will not say it was a five star read. It's closer to 3.8 but I'll call it a 4 just because Goodreads and various star rating systems don't allow you to decimal their stars.
Thank you Mark for telling us your story. Thank you NetGalley and the publisher for the chance to review this eARC.
Now years later here is Mark's side of what happened. The truth of why they disappeared.
As much as my nostalgic side wishes me to say there were no flaws in this book...I cannot lie. There were phrases and things in the book, that alluded to other events, that were never explained fully. Sometimes it seemed as if the writing, or telling of his memories, was being forced.
Also, there were a good dozen "syntax" errors within the formatting of this book. This is neither the fault of the publisher nor Mark. When reading eARC's sometimes these things happen.
I really enjoyed hearing the truth at last. And I enjoyed the book itself. But I will not say it was a five star read. It's closer to 3.8 but I'll call it a 4 just because Goodreads and various star rating systems don't allow you to decimal their stars.
Thank you Mark for telling us your story. Thank you NetGalley and the publisher for the chance to review this eARC.
March 30, 2020
If I could give this book more than five stars, I would! I grew up listening to Audio Adrenaline, and hearing Mark’s story simultaneously brings me so much joy and so much heartache! My heart breaks for Mark on his journey, but it also celebrates with him in his healing and restoration! So much of my journey is wrapped in his...through the music of his ministry I found my calling into mine! I laughed at the onstage antics of Bob in the early days of Audio A. I marveled at the fight with the Russians, and I broke down with Mark as he experienced the fullness of God in the cab of his truck! This book is everything!!
November 17, 2019
Mark Stuart's autobiography reads like Paul Harvey's former Rest of the Story radio broadcasts. For Audio Adrenaline and Christian rock fans, the book answers many questions of what happened then and since Stuart's vocal disorder forced him to leave the group. By making his life and struggles transparent, Stuart offers a path of redemption and restoration to those who have ever felt marginalized, disappointed and thwarted by life. His strong faith is a beautiful undercurrent to his story and offers hope to those of us who most desperately need it, especially when doubt is intense.
I received a complimentary copy of the book without obligation. This review is my opinion.
I received a complimentary copy of the book without obligation. This review is my opinion.
November 24, 2020
As a kid who listened to Audio Adrenaline in the late 90's, I was interested in knowing their story. This is an all encompassing timeline from the original lead singer's point of view. I was pleasantly surprised to learn that Mark is open and honest with what went on behind the scenes. He talked about the formation of the band, other bands that they performed with, the rise of a powerhouse group and the damage of his vocal cords that lead to the first disbanding of the band. He is raw and honest about his achievements and failures. I do enjoy a good biography and this is a good one.
Thank you NetGalley for the opportunity to read this book for my honest review.
Thank you NetGalley for the opportunity to read this book for my honest review.
October 20, 2024
I personally was disappointed in this book. It felt like more of a book about Audio Adrenaline and their success than the spiritual journey of the lead singer. The book felt superficial. Mr. Stuart didn't dive deep into his issues and spiritual life like I would have liked. If you enjoy Audio Adrenaline and want to know where their songs came from, this would be good for you. If you want to read about the lead singer's journey, skip this.
December 31, 2019
I always loved Audio Adrenaline and the work that Mark has done in Haiti. Getting to read a detailed account of the band's beginnings all the way through Mark's candid struggles in marriage, creativity, the music industry and ministry was amazing. It's so great to hear from leaders in that industry all these years later. Great book!
Read
December 26, 2019A wonderful story of love, loss, trials, redemption, and hope.
Mark has truly found his voice! I am so proud to have him as a fellow Kentucky Christian University alumnus where it all began. I couldn't put it down!
Mark has truly found his voice! I am so proud to have him as a fellow Kentucky Christian University alumnus where it all began. I couldn't put it down!
November 10, 2019
Great read
I grew up listening to Audio Adrenaline and was excited to read Marks story. Thank you for being honest with your readers and sharing your life with us.
I grew up listening to Audio Adrenaline and was excited to read Marks story. Thank you for being honest with your readers and sharing your life with us.
November 20, 2019
Earc from netgalley.
It was good, it was interesting to get to hear about the life of Mark Stuart. for sure read if you are a fan of this band.
It was good, it was interesting to get to hear about the life of Mark Stuart. for sure read if you are a fan of this band.
November 25, 2019
A real, honest, raw look at the struggles of the former lead singer of one of Christian music's biggest groups.
January 1, 2023
As a teen, I grew up hearing the music group Audio Adrenaline on Christian radio stations playing songs like "Big House", "Ocean Floor", and "Never Gonna Be As Big As Jesus". Their music was a big part of my life, alongside groups like Third Day, Newsboys, DC Talk, and MercyMe.
After a while, I stopped hearing their music on the radio and they faded away as just another group from my youth. I thought nothing of it -- until I found this book a couple weeks ago in a used book corner. It was like a blast from the past. As I read the book, a million memories came back. The hype and controversy of Christian rock was a big deal back then, but as a teen, I loved the passion and raw lyrics and real life I heard in the music, even if I didn't know about the sacrifices behind the curtain.
I enjoyed this memoir because it wasn't just a story of achieving a dream but losing everything and discovering that all he had left was Jesus, and He was enough. As an underdog, Stuart was drawn to being somebody and his voice was the ticket to a life that quickly rose in fame after he and his band discovered their unique musical style. Christian churches saw the ministry opportunity of reaching the youth for Christ, and soon the band reached the top of it all and won several awards.
But behind the scenes, the author began falling apart. More than ever, he realized that apart from God's help, he was nothing and his band was nothing. He felt like he had nowhere to turn for help because of the false message that church is for good people, not broken sinners. It wasn't until he lost his marriage, his voice, his band, and his fame that he realized he had nothing left, and yet, God had not abandoned him.
He never regained what he'd lost, but he gained far more spiritual growth in his weakness as he relied on God's strength in a way he'd never done before. He remarried and adopted two children from Haiti, and has since invested his time and energy into Haitian missions. Though I don't agree with his theology 100%, I agree on many important points and appreciate his music. I was encouraged by his spiritual journey.
I thought his story was a sobering reminder of the need for "one another" biblical church community life, even for famous on-the-road Christian musicians. He struggled alone for many years under the false assumption that Christians couldn't help him and he was alone. God's grace is sufficient and it was encouraging to read of God's sovereignty working all things together for good in his life, but also heartbreaking that there is so much help and hope in Scripture for exactly what he was going through but people saw what he wanted them to see. The truth prevails, and for that we are blessed by his honest testimony and challenged to be better friends to each other.
After a while, I stopped hearing their music on the radio and they faded away as just another group from my youth. I thought nothing of it -- until I found this book a couple weeks ago in a used book corner. It was like a blast from the past. As I read the book, a million memories came back. The hype and controversy of Christian rock was a big deal back then, but as a teen, I loved the passion and raw lyrics and real life I heard in the music, even if I didn't know about the sacrifices behind the curtain.
I enjoyed this memoir because it wasn't just a story of achieving a dream but losing everything and discovering that all he had left was Jesus, and He was enough. As an underdog, Stuart was drawn to being somebody and his voice was the ticket to a life that quickly rose in fame after he and his band discovered their unique musical style. Christian churches saw the ministry opportunity of reaching the youth for Christ, and soon the band reached the top of it all and won several awards.
But behind the scenes, the author began falling apart. More than ever, he realized that apart from God's help, he was nothing and his band was nothing. He felt like he had nowhere to turn for help because of the false message that church is for good people, not broken sinners. It wasn't until he lost his marriage, his voice, his band, and his fame that he realized he had nothing left, and yet, God had not abandoned him.
He never regained what he'd lost, but he gained far more spiritual growth in his weakness as he relied on God's strength in a way he'd never done before. He remarried and adopted two children from Haiti, and has since invested his time and energy into Haitian missions. Though I don't agree with his theology 100%, I agree on many important points and appreciate his music. I was encouraged by his spiritual journey.
I thought his story was a sobering reminder of the need for "one another" biblical church community life, even for famous on-the-road Christian musicians. He struggled alone for many years under the false assumption that Christians couldn't help him and he was alone. God's grace is sufficient and it was encouraging to read of God's sovereignty working all things together for good in his life, but also heartbreaking that there is so much help and hope in Scripture for exactly what he was going through but people saw what he wanted them to see. The truth prevails, and for that we are blessed by his honest testimony and challenged to be better friends to each other.
June 10, 2025
Mark Stuart’s memoir “Losing My Voice to Find It” offers a candid and compelling journey through the life of the former Audio Adrenaline frontman. Stuart masterfully weaves together his experiences of early success in the Christian rock scene with the devastating loss of his singing voice due to spasmodic dysphonia. What begins as a story about musical ambition transforms into a profound meditation on identity, purpose, and faith when everything you’ve built your life around suddenly disappears.
The narrative’s strength lies in Stuart’s unflinching honesty about his struggles. He doesn’t shy away from describing the painful reality of watching his career crumble as his voice deteriorated, or the crisis of faith that followed. Stuart’s writing is refreshingly vulnerable, allowing readers to connect with the universal experience of having to reimagine one’s life in the face of unexpected limitations. His description of performing despite his vocal challenges—pushing through tours while barely able to sing—creates some of the book’s most poignant moments.
Perhaps most impactful is Stuart’s account of finding renewed purpose through the Hands and Feet Project in Haiti. What began as a side project inspired by his band’s hit song evolved into Stuart’s life work after his singing career ended. These sections reveal a man discovering that losing his literal voice allowed him to find a metaphorical one as an advocate for orphaned and vulnerable children. Stuart’s transformation from rock star to humanitarian provides a powerful testament to finding meaning beyond initial dreams and expectations.
“Losing My Voice to Find It” ultimately transcends the typical musician memoir by focusing less on career achievements and more on the spiritual journey of letting go. Stuart’s story reminds readers that sometimes our greatest purpose lies hidden behind what we perceive as our greatest failures, waiting to be discovered when we’re finally forced to look beyond ourselves. For anyone facing unexpected limitations or questioning their path forward after a dream has died, Stuart’s journey offers both comfort and inspiration.
The narrative’s strength lies in Stuart’s unflinching honesty about his struggles. He doesn’t shy away from describing the painful reality of watching his career crumble as his voice deteriorated, or the crisis of faith that followed. Stuart’s writing is refreshingly vulnerable, allowing readers to connect with the universal experience of having to reimagine one’s life in the face of unexpected limitations. His description of performing despite his vocal challenges—pushing through tours while barely able to sing—creates some of the book’s most poignant moments.
Perhaps most impactful is Stuart’s account of finding renewed purpose through the Hands and Feet Project in Haiti. What began as a side project inspired by his band’s hit song evolved into Stuart’s life work after his singing career ended. These sections reveal a man discovering that losing his literal voice allowed him to find a metaphorical one as an advocate for orphaned and vulnerable children. Stuart’s transformation from rock star to humanitarian provides a powerful testament to finding meaning beyond initial dreams and expectations.
“Losing My Voice to Find It” ultimately transcends the typical musician memoir by focusing less on career achievements and more on the spiritual journey of letting go. Stuart’s story reminds readers that sometimes our greatest purpose lies hidden behind what we perceive as our greatest failures, waiting to be discovered when we’re finally forced to look beyond ourselves. For anyone facing unexpected limitations or questioning their path forward after a dream has died, Stuart’s journey offers both comfort and inspiration.
April 11, 2021
A always liked Audio Adrenaline and still listen to them sometimes. Big chords, anthems, choruses, and sound. So, it was interesting to learn about this book by Mark Stuart, one of the founding members and the lead singer. I'm giving it 3-1/2 stars in my Reading Log. I enjoyed hearing how AA got started from a bunch of friends at a Christian college--then following their rise to the highest echelons of the Christian music industry. I like how they were always a bit edgy and non-conformist, and how they were also used by the Lord in mighty ways to call people to follow Jesus or to deepen their walk with Jesus--and to also raise up their eyes & think about going to the nations.
I was saddened to hear how long Stuart went without any deep church fellowship and without pastoral leadership speaking into his life, and think it could have made a difference in the disintegration of his first marriage. I greatly appreciated Stuart's vulnerability in telling his story & his honesty about his struggles in his faith & life & marriage. It was also encouraging to see how took him onwards from the end of his singing voice & AA to a new calling & more involvement in reaching the nations & those who have been living in such darkness & difficulties.
I was saddened to hear how long Stuart went without any deep church fellowship and without pastoral leadership speaking into his life, and think it could have made a difference in the disintegration of his first marriage. I greatly appreciated Stuart's vulnerability in telling his story & his honesty about his struggles in his faith & life & marriage. It was also encouraging to see how took him onwards from the end of his singing voice & AA to a new calling & more involvement in reaching the nations & those who have been living in such darkness & difficulties.
August 6, 2022
The story is about Mark Stuart, the lead singer of Audio Adrenaline, the Grammy and Dove-award winning Christian rock band that has sold millions of records over the past fifteen years. It tells how the band came together, how his life was affected by it, and about his spiritual life as well, especially growing up the son of missionary parents. But more importantly, it tells of a point where he started losing his voice. At the same time that he realized that it was harder and harder for him to sing, his marriage was struggling and going under. He finally reaches the place where he loses both. Here is a man who loses his career that he has sacrificed everything for, as well as his wife. The obvious question that comes up is, what is next?
The book is easy to read, entertaining, spiritually positive, and I recommend it. If you enjoy Christian music at all, know about Audio Adrenaline, you need to read this.
The book is easy to read, entertaining, spiritually positive, and I recommend it. If you enjoy Christian music at all, know about Audio Adrenaline, you need to read this.
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
January 29, 2021
Here’s what’s really frustrating about this book. Mark Stuart has a really cool story as the lead singer of Audio Adrenaline. It’s a unique story about a rock band lead who loses his voice and has to find his purpose after rock.
But to be honest, the writing feels like a cliched Christian memoir that has the appearance of authenticity, without actually giving true heart to the story. Stuart’s strength as a lead singer was to lay out everything in the performance in a raw power, but that isn’t seen in this writing, especially in this genre of “Christian Celebrity Memoir.”
I wanted it to be better because I think the story is interesting, but some of the narrative feels flat when it could have been more three-dimensional. I really wanted this to be good, but it just fades into the genre
But to be honest, the writing feels like a cliched Christian memoir that has the appearance of authenticity, without actually giving true heart to the story. Stuart’s strength as a lead singer was to lay out everything in the performance in a raw power, but that isn’t seen in this writing, especially in this genre of “Christian Celebrity Memoir.”
I wanted it to be better because I think the story is interesting, but some of the narrative feels flat when it could have been more three-dimensional. I really wanted this to be good, but it just fades into the genre
July 8, 2021
This book definitely brought me back to my childhood. What Mark talked about with youth groups is exactly what happened with me.
But what also is brought forward in the book, is the purity and openness with which Audio Adrenaline spoke in their songs. Telling the truth, even if it's not pretty or conform to what christianity 'should' look like.
I love the honesty with which Mark speaks, showing that he is (apart from a rock star) a broken man, who has found redemption in Christ alone. He's very human, not making his life prettier than it was.
And in that shines the light of Jesus even brighter. Jesus is the one who shapes lives for the good.
This book is a great testimony of a God of redemption and love. Thanks for writing this book Mark!
But what also is brought forward in the book, is the purity and openness with which Audio Adrenaline spoke in their songs. Telling the truth, even if it's not pretty or conform to what christianity 'should' look like.
I love the honesty with which Mark speaks, showing that he is (apart from a rock star) a broken man, who has found redemption in Christ alone. He's very human, not making his life prettier than it was.
And in that shines the light of Jesus even brighter. Jesus is the one who shapes lives for the good.
This book is a great testimony of a God of redemption and love. Thanks for writing this book Mark!
September 13, 2020
The most raw and honest Autobiography I have ever read
I heard him give an interview earlier this year and he mentioned his book and that he felt like an imposter many times in his life, and I immediately purchased the Audio book and started it. What I listened to was the most honest and beautiful story of a famous Christian I have ever heard. It cemented my faith in Jesus. I grew up listening to the band but never knew their story. This is my favorite rock band of all time for many reasons
I heard him give an interview earlier this year and he mentioned his book and that he felt like an imposter many times in his life, and I immediately purchased the Audio book and started it. What I listened to was the most honest and beautiful story of a famous Christian I have ever heard. It cemented my faith in Jesus. I grew up listening to the band but never knew their story. This is my favorite rock band of all time for many reasons
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