I ask Lalo to refer to his sci-fi toy about what my future holds: same old misery, or worse misery?
Before he can answer, I change my question and ask where rock music is going.
The Ramones. The Ramones will change rock music for the better.
Bobby is about out of mandatory experience and everyone he has known his whole life are going their ways. Dad is drunk with him, for now, and nodding off. Bobby has the old-baby look as his body sags into the booze and triumph. Arms jerkily akimbo and lost to the taken for granted past or future. Fuck yeah, the New York Dolls. Naz was right! The future is the gray areas around the bright spots of the primal sound. I can't see Bobby with the voice that reaches the wordless places. It's more the animal eye of the storm. It kind of hurts how the world can feel so much the miles of colorless humming. Shouldn't his IT'S ABOUT DAMNED TIME music carry him more than this? I already knew that the people who leave him were 1. Not that with him anyway 2. Had their own empty life spaces. It starts eating the time somewhere in the mouth or maybe the eyes. All of that talking and unseeing. Bobby can be found dying on the way to the next thing. An unmade bed to lie in is still a hole. His childhood friend has an ipad from the future. Sometimes Lalo spouts out knowledge that has no bearing on anything. A half black president or public deaths to dictators. Bobby used to tell him you could make up anything on there as if he knew all about it. Where does the childhood ingenuity go? Is it a myth that kids are born with bull shit detectors. If Bobby had one he sold it out for a dull buzz to cut out his brain. Bobby isn't really tempted to ask about himself. What's there to ask when to move in any direction is the death headlights. What's the next sound? I wish they had listened to any band that I didn't already know about. T-Rex, The Clash, The New York Dolls, Big Star, David Bowie, The Runaways, Roxy Music. The starry sidewalk of there are giant space lizards jamming to their satellites of love in a galaxy far, far away. Weren't there magazines around? Some people are born knowing of everything cool and the rest of us get a miracle of what we need when we really need it. Yeah, I'm greedy for what is going to save my life next. There has got to be buried treasure. All of the music that is created every year. Their guru Naz gets his hands on amounts of vinyl I would see only in my dreams. I would choose my purchases based on what had the most tracks (live albums, usually). Where did these (none seem a bit upper class) kids get all of that dough? How many record stores in Oxnard, California could there be with five finger discounts? Oh well, I just think they didn't appreciate a great thing. I'd count down the days for Christmas and cried when I got Never freaking Let Me Down. What's next when there were all of these riches?! I believe it when all Bobby has are those impossible highs chased in the first time he hears the raw power. I am so thankful I am not him. He looks possessed. In the crowd, alone and they might not be unlike him but still alone. Kid doesn't know the magic of learning how to "play" that song you can't stop listening to in your head. He's like that with girls too. Next, new girl, not her but her. Stupid boy. Life is going to be too long if you go through it like that. Fatter, slowly dying in his chair, beer in hand, acid or speed, heart attacks, false alarm, no real, there's that guy I used to know, get angry so you don't hear what they are saying. Young Bobby tries to not hear the nothing of the day grinds. People look angry. If you could see what they thought about Bobby I bet they'd say the same thing. Old and older Bobby gets good in the way of not listening to anyone in the way that doesn't mean anything. You never knew them anyway and some jobs lay off, husbands don't listen. I don't know. I've been there of spending that time when people work for futures escaping into those voices that make the brief moments feel like they mean something. The awful times when people stop talking to me because I can't account for my time in a way that sounds better than I got carried away on an unbelievable wavelength. It doesn't feel right to me to mix up what anyone else did with their time into it. If the kid with the shitty garage band still sucked or the high school gf who dumped him for God. They weren't going to be together anyway. Bobby would have to reconcile if they were lost time or not. All of that mass of less alive and waiting. The ending felt fake as hell to me. "It's been a good life. I really can't remember what I was so angry about." Bobby is an old gent with a cane. Did he give up to one time line of gray. His dad has his secrets in his silent chair. Another family and seven brothers and sisters in Mexico. I can't believe I'm saying this about a Beto story that they were never going to be together. Beto was my favorite for the full on lightning follows sounds follows lightning interconnectedness shit.(I like it when Bobby overhears two kids talking about Super Man and he suddenly remembers childhood wasn't all rotten.) Broke my heart in the too late for the mother and daughter to ever understand. I could forget they were drawings and disappear into the can't stand it you're never going to get away from these people. Live and die together. No one else is that real. Bobby isn't that real. He's a logo shirt and trousers waiting to be scarecrowed into someone else's moved. Not when he forgets his dad isn't home anymore. Not when he won't stop asking what are the names of his half brothers and sisters. The mom who had cigarettes before she killed herself. I can't take this nothing in-between. Bobby stopped listening and never got the art of the staring contest down. Damnit but I lived for the staring problem of Beto's stories. Day, the next and the end loses the meaning. I don't think it's the point, in the end, if you did anything with your days. Having something to say for it like "They were good days". The dad probably did forget the names of his other children. He just sits in a chair. Father and son sound and look the same to me. How did he bring it altogether? I didn't feel that part. How does he accept when he's not the beast on their sonic strings. I feel cheated of the most important part.
I've always liked how the women look in Beto's stuff. Often they will have large bottoms in hip hugging trousers. Tight t-shirts and the men ogle them until another one catches their eyes. Somehow they feel like if you stared at them too long you'd feel self conscious of their bodies. I loved it when Bobby comes across again his childhood love, Lorena Madrid. At the time he immortalizes her in his memory (cynically predicting one day he would stand to attention to her younger sister). She's in the record shop, slack eyed. Bobby can't remember why he hates her so much and knows he does. She'll be beautiful to him again. Faithless Bobby fantasies. I like how they are real in their own bodily orbits and kinda despise being tethered to his roving eye. I hate not being in love with a Beto story. That's never happened before. Like Lalo's future telling meant nothing to me about Lalo. Rufus the acid tripper and the father of the Jesus Freak needing to hear his daughter was still a relateable human being inside. I can't deal with margins in Beto stories that don't feel like they would go on without me. No, no, no. Naz has gotta go on making sure everyone heard this everything band until it's just a scene for fun. I can believe there's a weight loss in his music soul, because I know that happens, but it happens without me.