My Secret History

by Paul Theroux

Brilliantly written, erotically charged, My Secret History is Paul Theroux's tour de force. It is the story of Andre Parent, a writer, a world traveller, a lover of every kind of woman he chances to meet in a life as varied as a man can lead.

It begins with his days as a Massachusetts altar boy, when his first furtive sexual encounter introduces him to the thrills of leading a double life. As a teenaged lifeguard, Andre finds himself caught between the attentions of a beautiful young student and an amorous older woman. Soon he is in Africa, where the local women are numerous, easy, and free. And as the boy becomes a man he turns his attention to writing, which brings him fame, and a wife, who may finally cause him to know himself.

But not before he sets up his most dangerous secret life, one that any man might envy, but that could cost Andre Parent the delicate balance that makes him who he is.

Genres: Fiction, Travel, Africa, Contemporary, Novels, Literature, Literary Fiction

512 pages, Paperback

First published January 1, 1989

About the author

Paul Edward Theroux is an American travel writer and novelist, whose best known work is The Great Railway Bazaar (1975), a travelogue about a trip he made by train from Great Britain through Western and Eastern Europe, the Middle East, through South Asia, then South-East Asia, up through East Asia, as far east as Japan, and then back across Russia to his point of origin. Although perhaps best known as a travelogue writer, Theroux has also published numerous works of fiction, some of which were made into feature films. He was awarded the 1981 James Tait Black Memorial Prize for his novel The Mosquito Coast.

He is the father of Marcel and Louis Theroux, and the brother of Alexander and Peter. Justin Theroux is his nephew.

Reviews

[Joy · Rating 2 out of 5]

Andre isn't really his name, but he thinks it sounds classier than Andrew. He attracts women, he writes articles, he moved to Africa because he loves living there, and he makes hardly any real connection with the people he pleases himself with. He lives in a series of little paradises with one woman or another, and at the first injection of reality, he must escape. I'm two-thirds of the way through the book, still waiting for him to do something that isn't self-indulgent. Maybe the emigre teacher he just met will change him.

This is the first Theroux I have read. One of my sisters loves him, I can't tell why. I will say for the book that it sounds very authentic, personality-wise. Theroux seems to believe in him.

After finishing: I'm very glad to be done with this book. I don't think the protagonist would have been so antithetical to me if the author hadn't deliberately made him that way. A person like Andre isn't necessarily as bad as Theroux makes him look.

[Chrissie · Rating 4 out of 5]

good read. bad ending.

seriously, what was that ending supposed to be about? "i know. the book's about secrets. i'm going to make the ultimate secret be the book's outcome." it's like the sopranos. the audience demands an ending.

[D · Rating 3 out of 5]

This well written book consists of a number of almost independent stories describing various periods in the life of the main character, many of them resembling the author's life. The protagonist seems to have a strange obsession with secrecy. Hence the title, I suppose. I enjoyed the first parts of the book, describing his catholic upbringing and African experiences. The later parts, describing his marriage, including the mad violence and abuse of his wife, were not particulary enjoyable.

[Rochelle · Rating 4 out of 5]

A perfect book to take on a trip, compact and engrossing. Six or seven parts, each almost a novella, set in the stages of life from adolescence to middle age. Fiction, but the stories follow the curve of Theroux's life. The narrator starts off as a gun-toting altarboy, ends up as a writer with two homes, a wife and a mistress. The poignant scene where he bicycles to meet his son, by then studying for exams at a British school, will stick to the ribs of any parent. The book has something for everyone. Theroux writes with authority about New England, Africa, London, and Siberia. If I hadn't read Blue Taxis immediately afterward, I would have rated it a 5 star.

[Lainie · Rating 2 out of 5]

I could have used a trigger warning for this "novel," which is transparently an autobiography. I have enough narcissistic sociopaths in my life without seeking the company of another one, regardless of his skill at narrating travelogues.

Attractiveness can be a curse. It can make a weak person muddle their values just because a passing piece of ass plays into their pathology. I know this first-hand, having been on both sides of that equation.

Theroux is generally thought of as an attractive guy and has lived a life that mirrors much of this book. Is this piece an arch confession? (Catch me out, please!) or is it a coward's bragging? (I cannot be real for one minute because this person whom I value might not like me anymore, but I can go on feeding my ego if I keep this a secret.) Either way, I found the narrator so repulsive it was hard to finish the book. I am not a prude, but I'm a big fan of living an honest life (hard-won lesson). If you decide to be a philanderer, give your partner a chance to have that information so she can decide whether she wants to deal with it or not. You aren't an island, man!

The only good stuff came when (around page 500+) he stopped to actually describe the qualities of his wife, and when he showed that she has self-respect, dignity, and autonomy. I cheered.

[David · Rating 5 out of 5]

I thought this was an autobiography when I bought it, and it seems many have - understandably - assumed the same, even after reading. Right at the beginning of this novel, Theroux takes the trouble to point out that while it seems to be about his own life, really it's just a work of fiction.

The book follows the life of Andre Parent as he bounces around the globe in search of something - and that something is usually sex. From chapter to chapter we see him grow from a boy to a childish man, moving from America to Africa to Asia.

[Kevin Shannon · Rating 4 out of 5]

I am on a Theroux kick as jennifer Anniston is marrying into the family, and it seems like a good time to indulge.I do love Paul Theroux as a prose stylist, reading him is like eating "budder". Effortless and uninvolved, he is a perfect narrator, even with this most autobiographic of novels. The story follows Andre Parent (write a treatise on the choice of that heros moniker) from Catholic adolesence in Boston to teching in Malawi to a life as travel writer in London and cape Cod, venturing to India, Siberia by train etc. Digressions about adultery, gonhorrea and whale steaks, all entertaing stuff.
Plus, a nice little nugget. Procrustean means ruthlessly inflexible, and comes from Procrustes, a robber in greek legend who had a bed of a certain size. He made people lie on it and if they were too tall would cut their legs off, and if they were too short would stretch them to fit. I quote from the book and I know it leaves a lot of questions hanging but it is a good story, so don't be procrustean and not use it........

[Robert Lofstedt · Rating 1 out of 5]

I really enjoy Paul Theroux, having read a half dozen of his better-know books. But this is a real let-down. Basically is a temporal summary of a habitual fornicator (and I am certainly no prude). The story is confused and shallow; a disappointment. This book can only damage his reputation as an author.

After struggling though it, I gave up about 80% of the way through...

[Elizabeth Redmond · Rating 5 out of 5]

Loved this wonderful book. I read it about 20 years ago. I treasured it so much I took to underlining not just sentenced but paragraphs. Great read. Bought a fresh one ., no underlining this time.

[Rita · Rating 3 out of 5]

Quite a good book indeed.
The blurb on the back is kind of irritating.
Is the narrator so very "egotistical"? More than other people are, if seen objectively??

One feels uncomfortable with his habit of having a mistress in one place and a wife in another, and I feel sympathy for the wife, but if truth were known, could this situation be considered at all unusual? Instead of condemning it/him, maybe it's better to read this book to try to understand how it can come about. [Well, that's my same-old-same-old response to everything: Let me try to understand, instead of feeling....]

Having read one, or possibly two, of his later travel books, where I recall no mention of his relations with women, I was unprepared for this seemingly autobiographical book of his early adulthood and marriage.

The narrator says here that his most important life/self is lived alone, with his writing and his observing of people [whether traveling or not]. This is what he refers to as his 'secret life'. All the socializing with people, relationships,,,, is his other, less important life. The narrator also says he excludes all references to his personal relationships [with women, at any rate], in his travel writing. Which may explain why Pillars of Hercules did not prepare me for Secret History...

Lots of interesting comments in this book, like on what he thinks he needs, is searching for, why,... I felt very clever to notice almost right away that the Indian writer he meets up with in London is actually based on V.S. Naipaul.

"father Furty was the first person to make me feel as though I existed in the world; he made me feel I had a right to live. I was 15 years old, and he treated me as though I were a whole, large, mature person; he listened to me; he gave me compliments and praise." [65]

[Thejas · Rating 4 out of 5]

Paul Theroux produces another semi-autobiographical, fictionalised account of his travels in Africa, and marital life in London. This book struck me for one great aspect or running theme – people always have a secret life, one or the other, morally satisfying or not, and that second you, will always be your true self. He repeats and rephrases the notion at several points in his book. And it’s true.

You might be an adulterer, a writer, a musician, an artist, a husband in your secret life. That is you. Forget what you do for a living. Forget your loved ones and your enemies. That second person, is your soul and truth, sharing a space within you. He liberates you, unwinds you from the everyday moral dilemmas, from the strings that keep you checked and bound. Letting go is the best way to become him.

The book is erotically charged, recounting several sexual encounters with the women in his life.

My secret history stands out for its greatness in detail, of the places he visited (which I liked), of the lives he has touched and the people he has observed. V S Naipaul, his close friend and peer, also makes an appearance, albeit, in another name. Theroux – through the eyes of Andrew Parent – makes meaningful remarks and insights into life as well as the emotional drive behind a writer.

This was my favourite passage from the book:

"In the best comedy there is something clearly wrong, but it is secret and unstated - not even implied.. Comedy is the public version of a private darkness. The funnier it is, one must reckon how much terror lies hidden.

[Sam Hunn · Rating 5 out of 5]

One of my absolute favourites. I first read this two years ago, just before a huge change in my life, and upon re-reading it I was reminded how books can also change with each reading. A lot has changed for me since; some good, some bad. But (cliche impending) I think this book does a great job of depicting life as a story, and while every chapter ends, the plot moves on - so hang in there. I think my subconscious knew that this was the perfect time for me to re-read this book. Loved it even more than the first time!

[Susan · Rating 4 out of 5]

My Secret History is a ferris wheel ride of situational tragedy, comedy and the author being a schmuck. This may be passed off as fiction but you know it's all his life. Entertaining and interesting. For travel junkies his stories are amazing and he has a past full of fabulous adventures. Good, good stuff.

[Timothy · Rating 3 out of 5]

Generally well written and well told. But it is generally a tale of self absorption. A person who satisfies himself with little or no regard for the dignity an feels of those he comes in contact with. And he feels justified in his actions.

[Anne · Rating 1 out of 5]

Paul Theroux is a good writer. He's also a total douchebag and a womanizer. I couldn't wait until this book was over and I could leave him behind.

[Bolaji Olatunde · Rating 4 out of 5]

Hilarious, touching and unashamed. I could not help but take exception to the notion expressed in the novel that African writers are celebrated plagiarists but that did not spoil the fun for me.

[Kirsten · Rating 2 out of 5]

Andre Parent erzählt die Stationen seines Lebens. Vom Ministrant zum Bademeister, über den Lehrer in Afrika bis hin zum Autor: immer waren es andere Menschen, die sein Leben beeinflusst haben und die oft waren Frauen. Vor denen ist Andre meistens davongelaufen, bis er am Ende sein Glück fand. Oder etwa nicht?

Anfangs hat mir das Buch sehr gut gefallen. Der Autor hat die Geschichte des jungen Ministranten, der sich mit einem alkoholkranken Priester anfreundet und in ein Mädchen verliebt, das er falschen Religion angehört lebendig und mit einer guten Portion Ironie erzählt. Jede weitere Station im Leben von Andre Parent war nur eine Variation dieser ersten Geschichte und jede hat Paul Theroux ein bisschen mehr ausgeschmückt, bis sie für meinem Geschmack zu bunt waren. Hätte das Buch nach dem ersten Teil geendet, hätte ich es wahrscheinlich in guter Erinnerung behalten. So aber wird es bald in den Tiefen meines geistigen Bücherschranks verschwinden.

[Joe · Rating 5 out of 5]

This novel was an unexpected delight and very enjoyable read. I picked this up along with 2 other novels by the Author at a low sale price, I wasn't expecting much therefore but this novel really impressed me and I immediately took to the authors style of writing.

The story and plot is effectively self biography of the lead characters life from teenage years to his mid 40s, based across his time spent living in the US, Africa and the UK. I believe some aspects are based on the authors real life experiences. There was some thought provoking passages along the way with humour which added a nice blend to the novel. Overall I really enjoyed this novel and highly recommend. I look forward to reading further books by Mr Theroux.

[Kurt · Rating 5 out of 5]

AMAZING! all 444 pages.

[Cristian Dorelle · Rating 5 out of 5]

Libros baratos que encontras en usados y que te sorprenden. Apenas conocia el nombre de Paul Theroux, alguno de sus libros de viaje, y tenia mas referencias de su hermano Alexander y por eso es grata sorpresa (siempre busco lo que leo... casi siempre) En esta novela Theroux cuenta su vida oblicuamente ocultandose en el personaje de Parent. El juego le sale muy bien. El narrador muestra sucesos distintos, ventanas en la vida de si mismo y deja ver lo que siempre se mantiene en él, y lo que no, como va cambiando de vida, y tambien de su otra vida, la secreta. Esta otra vida, recurrente a lo largo del libro es el motor de todas las historias, algunas, excusas para poder desnudarse por completo sin morir en el intento. Le voy a tener que entrar a otras novelas de Theroux despues de esto... Chicos, tomen la sopa y compren usados...

[Ad · Rating 4 out of 5]

Both My Secret History (1989) and My Other Life (1996) by Paul Theroux are fictionalized memoirs, hovering on the borders of autobiography, fiction and even - partly - travelogue. Every writer writes basically about himself, some more hidden, others more openly, but Theroux does so with a vengeance - also his travel books are more about Theroux than about the countries he visits. There is nothing wrong with that, for after all it is best to write about what you know best - and what is closer than your own personal history? It can become even better if you are not hampered by the facts but can freely embellish your story with fictional elements. That is certainly the case with these two books by Theroux, for they are real page-turners.

From the above it is clear we should not rank these two books under "autobiography:" Theroux has rightly labeled both as novels. It is only by comparing them with non-fiction works as the travel books and Sir Vidia's Shadow that you can get an idea of what is fact and what may be fiction.


My Secret History consists of six vignettes, only very loosely connected. Although there is some justification in the idea that the "secret" in the title means "sexual" - so full is the book of Theroux' libido - in fact the "secret history" points to Theroux' interest in literature, to his writing, which forms a sort of "hidden life" that puts him apart from others.

The narrator is called Andre Parent. In the first story ("Altar Boy") he is a teenage altar boy growing up in Boston and we hear about his friendship with an eccentric priest and his first love for a girl from the neighborhood. In the second story ("Whale Steaks") Andre is 19 and works in the summer, between his studies, as a lifeguard; he oscillates between two women, an amorous elder woman, who is very rich, and a beautiful young student. The next story ("African Girls") is set in Malawi where he teaches on behalf of the Peace Corps; the local women are easy and free and Andre sleeps with an endless series of African girls.

The fourth story ("Bush Baby"), set in Uganda, follows this pattern, until he meets the English woman who would become his wife. When their car is overturned by an angry African mob, while she is pregnant, he decides to leave Africa and they move to London. This story also includes Andre's friendship with a famous British writer of Indian background (V.S. Naipaul).

The fifth story ("Leaving Siberia") relates the end of the trip Andre who is now a successful writer makes around the world (in real life this became The Great Railway Bazaar) - when he arrives home in London his wife gives him a rather cold reception and he learns she has had an affair in his absence. Andre takes revenge on his rival by shaming him in a rather childish way.

In the last story ("Two of Everything"), Andre himself leads a double life with houses in London and in the U.S., with a devoted woman in each (one his wife, the other his mistress). He takes each woman on a trip to India, following the same itinerary, with a predictable confusion as outcome.

Except the first one, which could stand on its own as a novella, the stories in this book are quite rambling as befits a fictional memoir.

[Nikolai Kim · Rating 3 out of 5]

Yeah, it's Paul Theroux. Right. I can hear the guitar riffs from Santana's take on "Europa" while just riffling through these pages.

I read this a long time ago when I thought of myself more as an American than I do now. I remember liking it quite a bit, but now I realize that I only remember the sexual confessions. Was that all this story was?

He keeps talking about Conrad, but mostly it's just the scenery. Conrad was always really writing about power, and how the exercise of power always felt odd when witnessed through his Russian eyes although he was masquerading as a Briton. For instance, in the Secret Sharer Conrad is both men, himself and the doppelgänger. Conrad, you see, was a kind of secret agent, a revolutionary working under cover in the corridors of economic and sociological ambition.

Theroux, on the other hand, is entirely an American. Whereas Conrad was always nervous, Theroux more typically is calm, relaxed and quite often drunk. Nervous is more interesting, and drunk is a bit more fun and endearing. It's good knowing both types, although the nervous ones are invariably more honest in my experience. Theroux is kind of in between, at least at his best.

But at this point in my life, my reaction to Theroux is more clinical than sympathetic. Still, I'd have a drink with him at some American Club in one of the corners of semi-darkness at the frontiers of the world where such clubs have sprouted.

[D.W.Jefferson · Rating 4 out of 5]

This is a novel by the well-known travel writer Paul Theroux. Presumably, much of the book is autobiographical, but the author is not telling us what is and what isn’t. The protagonist joins the Peace Corps, as did the author. He eventually becomes a travel writer, as did Theroux.

Much of the story revolves around the main character, Andre Parent, having a “secret histroy” involving sexual liaisons and other behavior his public self would not admit to being involved in. The novel is well-written and involves travel and living abroad that help make it an interesting read. Ultimately the protagonist’s secret life includes traveling and writing about it.

This is clearly a pre-HIV and AIDS narrative. The promiscuity of Parent would presumably have been somewhat more restrained if he needed to worry about contracting the deadly virus. The early part of the novel is also in the pre-Roe vs. Wade United States, with its secretive and often slimy illegal abortion providers.

The question at the end of the novel is whether the protagonist can give up his second woman and no longer secret life when his wife issues an ultimatum. The author is not telling.

[Dpdwyer · Rating 4 out of 5]

This book, from 1989, shows that Paul Theroux, from early on, was on the cutting edge of combining fact and fiction in a novel. Andre Parent, the protagonist, shares many details from Mr. Theroux’s life: growing up in Medford, Peace Corps in Africa, meeting and being mentored by V.S. Naipaul, meeting and marrying his English wife. His descriptions of people and places invariably ring true. The two trips to India near the end of the book, one with his mistress and one with his wife, were spot on perfect.

Quotes: [Opening lines]: “I was born poor in rich America, yet my secret instincts were better than money and were for me a source of power. I had advantages that no one could take away from me---a clear memory and brilliant dreams and a knack for knowing when I was happy.”

“No one looks more like a displaced person than an Indian in an overcoat.”

“I am show you the Taj Mahal,” Unmesh said. “I am tell you all about it. I am know everything.”

[Forty Something · Rating 4 out of 5]

Theroux is the master of description in my book. For instance, I know no-one who can weave smells and sounds so seamlessly in his writing.

He also excels at creating tension. Just in the first part (Andy as a kid), I can recall four different sources of tension: Is Father Furty ok or a pedophile? Will Andy get to officiate at a wedding or not? What will happen with Tina? And will he use his rifle? Everything is like a piece of a puzzle. It's wonderful.

In the second part (Africa), it's not so much about Andy going on a quest. It's more about the transformation of Africa.

Oh, and I forgot about the fabulous juxtapositions and contrasts, like little gems thrown onto your reading path. Here's an example (when Andy can't shake the guy obsessed with building latrines):

"The hardwood beams look great," I said. My penis was on fire.

[Tyyne · Rating 3 out of 5]

Despite some disturbing and outdated remarks about Africa, the book was enjoyable for its many keen observations and vivid descriptions of the countries visited. Each of the book's four parts has a distinct character, making it hard to believe that the main character was the same in all four - this made me think about whether this is an accurate depiction of how we change throughout our lives, how the ideas and thoughts of our childhood are almost unrecognizable to our older selves, and vice versa. Most of all, it made me think of my dad, who lent me the book, and who I felt probably sees something of himself in Andre Parent and/or Paul Theroux. I felt some of my childhood memories reflected in passages of the book, especially those about experiencing travel as precious moments between discomfort.

[Brian · Rating 3 out of 5]

This book was a mostly intriguing coming of age tale, which is not normally my favorite genre. It was an interesting choice by the author to essentially ignore earlier sections of the book whenever the narrator jumps to a new location or point in his life. I enjoyed the second section regarding his summer in Boston at a public swimming pool as a lifeguard in particular. Towards the end it feels like Theroux is almost taking things too easily on himself, making the main character a travel writer when Theroux himself is a noted travel writer. I suppose much of that material is autobiographical in nature.

On a side note, I could definitely see how some might find the book incredibly sexist, or at the very least the main character, whom I suppose is not meant to be overly sympathetic.

[Ashleigh · Rating 4 out of 5]

Not 100% sure what to think. The underlying issue of duality really struck me and I was left thinking about the book for quite a while after reading it so therr must be something to it, but given that it’s semi-autobiographical one can’t help but feel that the dislike the author so famously felt toward other people was somehow also self-directed in the way he treated his protagonist in the book.

I come from southern Africa, so the Nyasaland parts felt well-described. Some of the scenes in the book were a little unnecessary but probably helped the reader envisage the more self-centred aspects of the main character.

Definitely worth a go.

[Molly · Rating 4 out of 5]

I like Paul Theroux and he seems to appreciate similar things in traveling that I do. As far as I can tell this book is a thinly veiled biography. However, he does get a little old-school-literary-male on me, meaning he treats all women as these one dimensional characters who are meant to entertain and fill his time, but whom he dumps as soon as the 'plaything' thing runs dry and they develop any sort of character beyond 'nymph' or 'ingenue'. barf. see reviews of updike, hemingway. still, I liked this book a lot.

[Carol · Rating 2 out of 5]

Two stars because the protagonist is such an unlikeable person! This book is written in the first person. If this is an autobiography of our author, then he is a narcissist and sociopath. If he created this character as fiction then he created an amazing persona in Andre. Two stars because I skipped a bunch in the middle; I was getting bored with Andre's preoccupation with making love. You will probably like this book if you like character studies, but if you want an interesting plot, you won't find it here.