Bent But Not Broken

by Don Cummings

Bent But Not Broken is an unflinchingly honest memoir about the onset of Peyronie’s disease, a painful and sexually limiting condition that is estimated to affect more than 5% of the worldwide adult male population. Don Cummings writes humorously about the emotional and collateral damage brought on by a suddenly curved penis as he struggles to maintain his sense of sex and self. He openly details the doctor visits, the excruciating treatments, and the acute anxiety over the state of his long-term relationship with a man who is supportive but often helpless in the face of nature’s whims. Discordant domestic life, a harrowing kidnapping by a handsome stranger, and reminiscences of a hyper-active sexual past are woven into the single-minded quest to minimize the effects of this deforming disorder. Brace yourself for a daring, heartfelt and beautifully twisted story of love and survival.


“To the world-class pantheon of memoirists like David Sedaris, Augusten Burroughs and Jonathan Ames, let us now add Don Cummings, who has single-handedly invented a new genre: the phallic memoir. Like all great personal essayists, the author mines his private torments - and tormented privates - transforming them, with wit, grace and weirdness, into a riveting, original story of triumph and transcendence.”
—Jerry Stahl, Author of Permanent Midnight and Bad Sex on Speed

“Daring, funny, candid, tender, Bent But Not Broken reveals the paradoxical truth about manhood: our strength as men is our weakness, and vice versa. Don Cummings is a witty, insightful writer, and this book is a marvel.”
—John Sedgwick, author of In My Blood: Six Generations of Madness and Desire in an American Family

“Bent But Not Broken is a hilarious and deeply moving memoir about a penis and its owner. But more than that it’s about the nature of love, the flux of relationships, and how bodies betray us all. Cummings is a stunning writer and excellent travel guide for this journey through his life.”
—Maggie Rowe, Author of Sin Bravely and writer on Arrested Development

“Like his penis, Cummings gets bent out of shape, and not only on account of his condition: also just by being human, a man, a gay man who wants what he wants, as most of us do: love, intimacy, sex, money, fame, and sex. Cummings can’t help but be funny, but he also can’t stop being honest, and his writing achieves real poignancy that will grab you by the heart and penetrate deep into your soul, if you’re the soulful type. If not, your mind, and definitely your memory. It’s an unforgettable, beautiful book.”
—Rick Whitaker, Author of Assuming the Position and An Honest Ghost

Genres: Romance, Disability, Memoir, Health

214 pages, Paperback

Published March 15, 2019

About the author

DON CUMMINGS is known for his fearless and humorous writing in books, essays, theatre and film. His love-sex-and-health memoir, Bent But Not Broken, is published by Heliotrope Books. It received fine praise from Kirkus Reviews. “Cummings’ skills as a writer are apparent from the beginning. His prose is effortlessly clever, finding the entertaining medium between lyricism and sass.” He has had short stories published in Rain Taxi, Epiphany, and Cagibi. He often performs his personal essays at venues such as Comedy Central’s Sit ‘n Spin, HBO Workspace, Largo, Brooklyn Reading Works, Tell It!, Personal Space and True Story.

His many plays have been produced on both coasts: The Water Tribe was co-produced by Ensemble Studio Theatre/LA with VS. Theatre Company and published by Original Works. A Good Smoke was a semifinalist for the Eugene O'Neill Playwrights Conference, had a reading at The Public Theater, directed by Pam MacKinnon, with Meryl Streep, Debra Monk, Henry Wolfe, and Grace Gummer, and was optioned for Broadway. The Fat of the Land was a semifinalist for the Kaufman & Hart Award for New American Comedy and was published in The Coachella Review. Piss Play is About Minorities So It’s Really Important, was produced as part of The New York Cringe Festival where it received the Golden Pineapple Award for best play. The Winner was a finalist for The Heideman Award at the Actors Theater of Louisville and was published in Post Road Magazine. His plays American Air, Stark Raving Mad, Loose Joints and Feed the Children! have been produced in Los Angeles. Box, a short film starring Mink Stole and Lou Liberatore, was an official selection of the Toronto Independent Film Festival, Dam Short Film Festival, New Filmmakers New York Festival, Twin Rivers Media Festival, and was distributed by Shorts International. Oh the Horror!, a graphic novel about zombies, is now live on Instagram and Tumblr @ohthehorrorla.

Don Cummings has appeared on television—most famously as someone’s favorite snarky waiter on Dharma & Greg—and in film, but more frequently on stage, having acted in over two hundred plays. A graduate of Tufts University with a degree in biology and the two-year acting program at The Neighborhood Playhouse School of the Theatre, he spends his days writing, reading, composing music, and helping other writers. He lives in Los Angeles with his husband and poodle while adhering to Hawaii’s time zone.

Reviews

[Annie WARING · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is my brother-in-law’s memoir. Because I’m familiar with many of the characters, I loved it. But even if I were not, I would’ve enjoyed this book. It is a beautiful story of overcoming Peyronie’s Disease, a long term relationship that weathered the storm, and flashbacks to a childhood of a gay boy coming to terms with his sexuality. It’s funny, sad, bawdy, insightful, and an amazing read.

[Christine Rollando · Rating 5 out of 5]

A brilliant and witty intermingling of the tale of a man’s penis on Peyronies and its role in his love, loves and life history. The pages keep turning as we accompany the author in his penile straightening journey in parallel with his equally tortuous journey through his long term love and marriage.

[Janine · Rating 3 out of 5]

3.5 stars
Synopsis - In this honest memoir, Don Cummings tells the story about how he drew the short stick in the life and was diagnosed with Peyronie’s Disease which is a sudden and painful curvature of the penis.

Review - So, in my household we call a penis, a penis. If you call it a peen, wee wee, weiner, wang, schlong or Kevin and the word penis makes you uncomfortable than be prepared to feel uncomfortable. This memoir is really about more than his penis, don’t get me wrong it’s a lot about his penis but that’s just the tip! Cummings talks about his long term relationship, childhood, his earlier sexual experiences as he comes to terms with his sexuality. The book even took a slight turn when Hank Azaria makes a cameo.

I have to say I had no idea what to expect when I agreed to read this but it was well written and informative. I didn’t expect to be so familiar with a stranger’s penis. Put 10 penises in a line up and I think I could identify this one. Cummings really did a great job of describing his experience and I feel like I could be an ambassador for Peyronie’s - flesh stack Friday for Peyronie’s. The medical treatment peaked my interest and I’m a visual learner so I probably need to clear my google history. There’s a really good chance I will be talking about curved penises at a party soon. And if a book gets you talking, it was worth reading.

With a name like Don Cummings you’re sort of fated to write a book about dicks. While life threw him a curve ball, Cummings is able to persevere and face this bend in the road head-on.

Some last words of wisdom to those sending unsolicited or maybe solicited dick pics- “penis pictures are difficult to gauge unless there is a beer can nearby.”

[Melissa · Rating 5 out of 5]

When I was approached to review this memoir, I hesitated, not because of the material, but because whenever I review a memoir, I feel a little like I'm sitting in judgement of the author's life, rather than the specific work. Ultimately, I chose to read and review Bent But Not Broken because I felt Mr. Cummings's story should be treated with the same respect and sensitivity we give to every woman who writes about dealing with breast cancer. Just because his memoir has to do with a disease of the penis, doesn't mean we should be blushing and tittering when we talk about it.I'm honestly glad I read his book.Don Cummings presents his story with wit and candor and no small amount of grace. After reading his bio, I expected the wit. I did not expect to become so personally engaged with his story. I winced with him when he described his physical pain, and worried with him between doctor appointments. I sympathized when his sex life suffered. And I learned a lot about how men - not all, but certainly some - see their penises as representative of their entire identities.As open, honest, and informative as this memoir is, however, it's a hard read. At times Cummings is brutally explicit with us and with himself. His pain - both physical and emotional - is palpable. For that reason, this isn't the sort of memoir you pick up as a casual read when you're about to hop a plane. It's the kind of memoir you read with intent, because you've heard of Peyronie's disease, or you know someone who has it.Goes well with wine and cheese.

[Sara Strand · Rating 4 out of 5]

I'm going to tell you completely up front that this book contains sexual content and talks about M/M sexual encounters so if that is not your thing or if your progressive, cool friend would consider you a prude, you need to skip this one all together because there aren't enough pearls in the world for you to clutch.

Alright, so this book is a memoir of sorts about a man who develops Peyronie's disease. Did you know this was even a thing? I did not but being honest, it's not like I've come face to face with a ton of penises. Thanks to a rash of penis pictures years ago, I've seen a wide variety but I can tell you I've never seen anything like what you'll find on Google images when you look this up, which is exactly what I did when I was reading this because while I understand what it means to have a bent penis, I really needed to know if we're talking a curve or 90 degree angle. I'm not going to give it away but if you want to forever change your Facebook ads, you're welcome.

It can be painful (obviously) but also have an emotional impact on the person but also take a toll on their relationship because sex and intimacy is a huge factor in a successful relationship. In this book Don talks about this beginning and how jarring it was to go through this not only as a person but as someone in a long term relationship. The book is funny, it's written as if you're sitting down for coffee with him. It isn't clinical and dry, but it really is funny to the point where it feels inappropriate to laugh at his situation yet here you are because he wants you to laugh with him at the absurdity of it all. It also kind of highlights the taboo of penises in general. We hear a lot about women's health but we only hear about erectile dysfunction in regards to medication to have prolonged sex. We occasionally hear about prostate cancer but anything else with a penis is pretty taboo and I think a lot of men are reluctant to go to a doctor and say "hey- I think I've got a problem here" because it takes a shot at their virility. Which is absurd but you know, it is what it is. So I think this book did a good job covering all of the issues something like this would bring a guy but also that it isn't a doomed diagnosis, either.

Overall I'm giving this one a solid (get it? HA!) 4 stars. It was informative, I learned a lot about penises that I didn't know before and I think I've freaked my husband out by asking him questions and intensely scrutinizing his penis looking for any kind of curve and he thinks I'm nuts. Better safe than sorry I say. So if you're a guy, definitely pick this one up because you can't know too much about your penis. And ladies, if you want to learn a LOT about a penis, here you go. *ahem*

[Peter Landau · Rating 5 out of 5]

If you read only one book about penises this year make it BENT BUT NOT BROKEN by Don Cummings. I don’t say that just because Don is a friend. He’s also a hilarious writer and penis is a subject that hasn’t received the column inches it deserves. Who doesn’t like penises? Men love them, women love them and even radical feminists are obsessed to the point of wanting to castrate them. But penises have mostly been stretched into pornographic tales or cautionary ones. Few have focused a memoir on their penis as the casing for a life and its potentially flaccid end through a rarely talked about disorder. When Don is diagnosed with Peyronie’s disease, a painful condition in which scar tissue forms on the penis causing it to curve drastically like a corkscrew or less dramatically like a hook, he is forced to reassess a life that had found meaning in its penis leadings. I’ve never seen Don’s penis, but then I’ve not asked, but I feel as if intimate with it after reading his funny and touching take on treatment and how it impacted his marriage to Adam. Do yourself a favor and unzip this under-the-waist take on pleasure and pain. Spoiler alert: it has a happy ending.

[Jarrett Neal · Rating 4 out of 5]

Men are often accused of being obsessed with their penis. As a man I think this is true, but it's more complicated than that. A man's penis is a barometer for his physical health, his sense of manhood, his self-esteem and, obviously, his sexual prowess. Don Cummings is fully aware of this, which is why his struggles with Peyronie's disease make Bent but Not Broken a unique memoir, and one I'm glad I read.

American literature contains few narratives that deal with the male body in a mature, serious fashion. Most stories about men and their physical or sexual travails are either sophomoric and crude or tragic and baleful. Bent but Not Broken strives for a certain degree of levity, yet I wanted Cummings to be just a tad more serious about his condition. I read this book immediately after finishing The Argonauts by Maggie Nelson. Both of these memoirs explore the body, sexuality, queer identity and other issues, yet Nelson's book is slightly more successful in that she is able to draw critical connections between her experiences and the culture that Cummings doesn't. Nelson and Cummings are different writers with different voices, styles, and goals, but Nelson is able to seamlessly weave together disparate topics in a way Cummings does not.

Cummings struggles to present a neat narrative, often straying from the topic of Peyronie's. I know he's trying to make many points here. I know the physical and psychological toll of a bent penis prompts myriad reflections and makes a man take stock of his life. Yet at times it felt as if Cummings was trying to bang square pegs into round holes. When he takes off on tangents, sometimes he circles back and manages to close the loop, but not always. As an actor and playwright with an outsized personality and a thoroughly slutty background, Cummings has a trove of anecdotes, and I feel he's using this occasion to share some of them with the public whether they align with the book's primary subject or not. (The story about Louis, his sex-addicted ex-boyfriend who, during adolescence, had a consentual incestuous relationship with his father, who groomed him for sex with a network of pederasts, is the most horrific example of the kinds of juicy tales Cummings shares.) I get what he's trying to accomplish; I just wish it could have been done with more refinement.

But this memoir isn't about being neat and tidy or granular and philosophical. Cummings wants to get his story out and share it with other men suffering from Peyronie's. I get the sense he's doing yeoman's work here. From what he describes, little is known about this condition, and men are loathe to discuss it openly. This book's greatest strength comes from Cummings's openness. He holds nothing back about himself, from his promiscuity to his failed dreams to the thoroughly unhealthy relationship he has with his husband Adam. I'm grateful that Bent but Not Broken is a sex positive book, one that celebrates sex between men rather than pathologizes it. Cummings is a natural storyteller, and although the descriptions of his medical treatments may make some men squeamish, he's doing a great service to men by being unfiltered and upfront.

This book has value for so many men, not just those who suffer from Peyronie's disease but any malady. Most men, to their detriment and the suffering of others, avoid self-reflection. Bent but Not Broken offers a path for men to deal with their bodies and minds. While Cummings is clear that his experience was unique and should by no means be taken as the standard for treating Peyronie's, he gives other men much to consider about manhood and how we can all do better by ourselves and others.

[TheReadingCornerforAll Lopez · Rating 5 out of 5]

Peyronie's disease is commonly defined as: "the development of fibrous scar tissue inside the penis that causes curved, painful erections."*

For Don Cummings, Peyronie's disease is a diagnosis that ignites: a journey of self discovery, examination of his sexuality, and quest to regain a sense of normality. 

This debut memoir chronicles Don's life as he navigates the diagnosis that suddenly has him questioning his manhood through an open- often humorous- narrative. Don's straightforward nature regarding his condition manages to destigmatize misconceptions about living with Peyronie's disease; the author extends readers a hand into his life in an unabashed manner that creates a close atmosphere of intimate friendship. By the end of Bent But Not Broken, readers truly feel a connection with this great storyteller. 

I quite enjoyed Don's perpetual sense of humor that serves as a reflection of his personality that tries to lighten serious moments. Works like Bent But Not Broken are crucial in breaking the silence around topics that are considered socially taboo. By crossing this literary threshold, many can discover that this is not a solitary road to travel and Bent But Not Broken advocates a social awareness based on his personal experiences that leaves readers with a degree of hope. 

[Robert · Rating 4 out of 5]

Cummings' engaging, honest memoir takes as its starting point his developing Peyronie's Disease in middle age. Peyronie's is a genetic condition in which plaque builds up between the tissue layers of the penis, leading to painful and unsightly bent/crooked erections. Cummings relates in gruesome detail not only the arduous medical treatments he underwent, but also the considerable psychological effects of his condition, and the ways in which the disease affected his relationship not only to his penis, but to his masculinity and sense of self. He also explores how it affected his relationship with his long-term partner, Adam, and I was both appreciative and taken aback with Cummings' often brutal honesty here. In fact, I really had to wonder what Adam must have had to say about how he was portrayed - it gets pretty fraught, to say the least. But that's part of what makes a memoir successful, right? Cummings is a graceful, wickedly funny writer and Bent But Not Broken is well worth your time. Final score: a rock-solidly erect 4 out of 5.

[David · Rating 2 out of 5]

I had this book on my Kindle for quite awhile, and actually ended up listening to the audiobook. I had found it quite randomly several years back. Unfortunately, what I thought was a serious memoir is nothing more than a lengthy exercise in narcissism. It was hard to have an ounce of empathy for the author, who likens his situation to something of a life/death situation and cannot see beyond himself. The writing is gratuitously graphic and I decided to stop reading this about 2/3rds through.

I would recommend instead checking out an Audible Original called “Men’s Health,” which ironically deals with somewhat of the same subject in a way that is simultaneously entertaining and human and features top quality performances by Santino Fontana and Tony Shalhoub as its main performers (alongside a team of other Broadway veteran performers and creators).

[Caity · Rating 5 out of 5]

I received this book for free from Goodreads first reads program.

This is a fascinating memoir, the author is funny and authentic creating a friendly open vibe for the book. It feels almost like a conversation. I would recommend this book not only for anyone dealing with Peyronie's disease but also with any other medical condition that effects their sense of self. The author's insights into how changes in the body change how one views themselves and their future are really excellent. I think anyone that enjoys memoirs can enjoy this book.

[Earl H. · Rating 5 out of 5]

An inspirational and healing read

I am a physician, this is a challenging and emotionally charged issue, Don’s adventure is uniquely his but thru his raw, personal and witty diatribe (his words) there is a gift of hope, healing and even a bit of a chuckle and joy...or blood rushing below!

[James Burke · Rating 5 out of 5]

A little graphic but very entertaining.

[Karen · Rating 4 out of 5]

Don Cummings is one smart, irreverent, no-holds-barred, funny-ass dude.

[Doris Raines · Rating 4 out of 5]

AMEN. BENT BUT NOT BROKEN WELL SAID AUTHOR .GREAT BOOK.