The Life of a Wannabe Mogul: Mental Disarray

by Bella Thorne

Bella Thorne's collection of illuminating and inspiring poems chronicles her personal struggles, relationships, and wild-child lifestyle, all with her trademark wit and wisdom.

Genres: Poetry, Nonfiction

99 pages, Hardcover

First published July 13, 2019

About the author

Bella Thorne is an American actress, singer, and music video director. She began her career at six weeks old as a child model, and eight years old with roles in in the television series My Own Worst Enemy and Big Love, Thorne gained mainstream notoriety for her starring role on the Disney series Shake It Up as well as Freeform’s Famous in Love. In 2018 she signed with Epic Records and began work on her debut album. In addition to her artistic pursuits, she started a makeup line called Thorne by Bella.

(source: Amazon)

Reviews

[Alma Stolarz · Rating 1 out of 5]

No thanks.

[Taylor · Rating 2 out of 5]

i’ve had this book on preorder forever (april) for lots of reasons! a lot because i was interested in the artwork (by her now ex Mod Sun) which as far as i’ve seen he hasn’t been credited (i could be wrong but if not... bella that’s not nice)

i’m into the aesthetic of “real raw emotion” and i thought this book was going to be tearing me apart.... it didn’t. a lot of the book felt like a few sentences people say when they’re not sober and not the real shit she’s gone through and her grieving and healings. a bit disappointed but i understand a lot of people (famous or not) would rather not air their dirty laundry.

I think bella usually says good things and does good things with her platform but i understand why people don’t like her.

some parts were actually difficult to read because of the typewriter/her dyslexia, which i understand that makes it more “real” but definitely not easy. my iphone has auto capitalization turned off, so i feel a little hypocritical but... i’m not writing a book for millions to read.

overall i’m not sure what to rate this. i didn’t dislike it... it just wasn’t exactly what i was expecting. although i did finish it in one sitting and did enjoy my time. i’ll just go 3 stars....?

PS... i did love the artwork, shout out to Mod Sun!

[Vanessa · Rating 1 out of 5]

Honestly I was pretty excited to read Bella's book. I figured there would be some bad poems, some relatable ones and what not. But as soon as I opened up the ebook from my library, it seemed like someone who was trying too hard. The aesthetic of the typewriter letters would have been nice if you could actually read the poems. There were a few early on that were so hard to read I just skipped over them. I dont mind the terrible grammar or spelling, considering she's dyslexic, it's great that she gets out there and writes books. But the way the poem itself was typed in fading letters made it hard to read. Some had overlapping words that made it hard to make out. It gave me a headache to read it actually.Honestly can't really say anything positive about the book and that's pretty rare for my reviews. I usually find at least something I like. But on this one, I'm just glad i borrowed it from the library and didn't spend any money on it like i originally planned. Sorry Bella.

[Melissa · Rating 2 out of 5]

I was so disappointed in this book. I recently became fascinated with Bella after seeing an interview. She surprised me. She was so intelligent and insightful. With that being said- I dont think I cared for this book because it was not meant for me. My days of being wild and damaged are over. I have healed and I am in a stable place. For someone who is still searching, or someone who is still bleeding over your open wounds- maybe this is for you? Not terrible. Just not for me.

[Cassie · Rating 1 out of 5]

Its just not good.
Now I will say I thought a select few pages were really great, for example the page that smashed love/hate/liar in a chaotic mess of art, the words overlapping eachother, and the “cokecain” page was quite witty. I would’ve liked it if the book kept more to this artistic style, but it just kind of went off and felt rushed and TOO sloppy.
I was not by any means expecting a polished end product. If I’m correct the whole point is a chaotic art piece of Bella’s mind, and I respect that but I think it could’ve been done more artfully so it came across less “I wrote this in one sitting on a crappy typewriter and had no editor and just sent it out.” Maybe it’s supposed to feel that way, maybe the whole point is that it’s a deconstruction of books as we know them, but either way its just NOT my thing.

Additionally, It does that one thing that a lot of “poetry” books do now that devotes an entire page to one simple, obvious phrase that anyone could muster. In this case, “you beautiful piece of work” is a phrase that gets its own page, and that type of thing has always bothered me. Because it’s so unoriginal. That’s a gripe at a lot of self published poetry books as well, not just this one, so I get that it’s become a trend, it’s just very unfavorable to me. A whole page where Bella draws a ring and writes “husband mod sun” ??? Yeah that’s in this book too. It applauses lazy writing, basically.

On the flip side I will say that I have great respect for the vulnerability In this writing, but sadly that’s all. I love Bella Thorne, but I have to review honestly, and as you may have noticed I have a lot of feelings about the quality of this book that would be dishonest to exclude.

[Lindsey Taft · Rating 2 out of 5]

Here’s the thing, I wouldn’t call myself a fan of Bella Thorne. I was when I was in middle school and she was on Shake It Up and obviously the public didn’t know her whole story then and I get that she doesn’t want to be that person anymore and I respect that.
As she we both grew up (we’re only a couple days apart in age) she became someone I probably wouldn’t ever associate with. I’m not a fan of drugs of any kind, or partying, or being revealing with my clothing. I don’t hate people who do that either I just can’t relate. So I forgot about her for a bit until this mini-doc Vogue did on her in 2017. The fact that she keeps trying incredibly hard to present herself as “real” and “authentic” still seemed like a persona to me. So when they did the doc and she was just speaking as a human being and she explained her logic behind her choices I began to see a person, not a persona. So when I heard she was writing a book I was curious to read it because if it was anything like that documentary maybe I’ll get to see the real Bella Thorne. I originally expected a memoir with poetry thrown in but obviously it’s 100% poetry. If I’m being brutally honest this book looks like she handed her publisher a stack of papers and whatever had made its way into the pile went in the book. It feels heavily unedited and not in a “real-talk” kind of way. It’s physically hard to read, and not because of the spelling mistakes, the formatting is really hard to wrestle with. Occasionally I felt like I’d get an inkling of a good thought and it makes me wish it wasn’t poetry I wish it had been essays so she could elaborate. Some pieces it was clear who she was speaking about, other times it wasn’t. Overall I don’t feel like I learned anything about her because it was so vague. It gets two stars because frankly I find her a fascinating person to look at and this was an interesting way to do so. But it doesn’t get anymore because I still feel like I don’t know anything. Who knows? Maybe I just don’t get her.

[Hannah · Rating 2 out of 5]

i struggle to give this a rating because although the poems weren't relate-able and i didn't enjoy them very much this book...well frankly its a lot to unpack. most poetry isn't very personal, it is something that you can read and find bits and pieces of yourself in. this is NOT that. this is angry and vulnerable and it drops names. this is so uniquely bella thorne, it reads like reading the pages of her diary. this can also be said from a visual stand point. that being said i think some of this is grossly exaggerated. i don't believe for a second that she's as unintelligent as her spelling would lead you to believe. it doesn't add anything to the book but does make it a little hard to read. having to stop and go over a line a time or two because of the spelling and formatting is kind of a pain. you can have depth and be interesting without being difficult. if this book was written by anyone other than bella thorne it would've been a flop.

[Sara Ann Callaway · Rating 1 out of 5]

I love poetry. I like Bella and her no give a shit attitude. I love books. I did not even like this one. The only reason I managed to finish it was in the hopes it would get better, plus it was too late to return it.
I hated the horrible spelling and only about a quarter of this book is actual poetry. The rest is just rambling, trying to be mysterious and edgy.

[Taylor Marie · Rating 1 out of 5]

Super Cliché, stole modsun’s art and didn’t credit him as far as I see in the book. I get the dyslexia thing but she could have figured out a different way to incorporate it. If you’re looking for honest reviews of the book, and not her celebrity friends...here it is.

[Ben · Rating 1 out of 5]

Truly awful. Do not waste your time

[Julie · Rating 1 out of 5]

I normally don't write reviews for books, but for this one I'll make an exception.

If you're reading this review wondering if you should read this book, here's your answer: don't.

This wasn't well-written, and while I appreciate Bella's desire to destigmatize dyslexia, her constant spelling and grammar errors made the book that much harder to read (especially because the whole book was written on a typewriter, with many pages being smudged). It seemed like half the book was just blank pages (many times there would only be something written on the right page, and nothing on the left), and when there was something on a page it often was only 1-3 sentences. Though she did reveal some traumatic events in her life, the quality of writing just didn't get the emotion across (for me). Also, she has quotes listed in the back from famous celebrities that are supposed to discuss how good the book is...but one literally says "I haven't read her book, but..."...so why is it included?

If you do end up reading this, get the free ebook off of the Overdrive app. This isn't worth paying for, and a lot of the hype is only because she crazily promoted it to her +20million followers on Instagram.

TLDR: Not good. Don't read.

[Nicole Rathbone · Rating 1 out of 5]

This was nothing special and while I’m aware that Bella has dyslexia and she chose to keep all the spelling mistakes in to display this, it really took me out of what she was trying to say as I sometimes had to decipher certain words. I didn’t feel anything reading this book and for me poetry needs to make me feel something hence the 1 star rating.

[Jessica · Rating 5 out of 5]

5 stars because I think it takes a lot of guts to be as raw and honest as Bella was here.

[McKenzie Richardson · Rating 1 out of 5]

For more reviews, check out my blog: Craft-Cycle

This is a collection of visual poetry, the majority of which were written on a typewriter with little to no editing.

Overall, there is definite feeling in this book. Ideas are expressed and memories are shared that evoke strong emotions while also provoking thoughts. There was no shortage of ideas in this collection.

However, the overall execution of the ideas was not for me. As I said, this is a book of visual poetry. Because of this, many of the pages look very cool with different colored lettering, uneven lines, juxtapositions, illustrations, and other effects. But on the whole, this book was hard to read. The uneven lines often made it difficult to figure out what came next, some of the text was insanely small (maybe I'm just getting old, but I still have 20/20 vision and had a hard time making out some of it), and some of the lettering was faded making it very hard to read.

Also, because it wasn't edited, there are a lot of spelling mistakes. In general you can figure out what was meant, but it does take away from the overall comprehension of the piece when you have to stop and try to decipher the words. Honestly, I still don't know what "fualities of the past" was alluding to.

The poetry also read as a one and done process. They felt like they were busted out in a sitting, usually in the form of stream of consciousness, and then called complete. As someone who re-reads, edits, and makes multiple drafts and changes while writing poetry, I think poems are often made stronger with the right amount of editing. Sometimes you write a piece, and in the moment it makes perfect sense, then you look back at it and realize it is really unclear. These are the times that editing is important. It helps strengthen your ideas and allows them to be expressed to a wider audience (i.e. not just yourself). This book could have really used that.

I read this in a day because none of the poems made me feel like I needed to stop and consider them. Usually when I read poetry, I try to read it slowly and linger on pieces that really make me think. However, I didn't really get that with this book. It felt rushed.

As I said before, there are some real emotions and ideas presented here. I think it was especially brave for Thorne to express her traumas and I hope that this helps her heal and grow. Many of the visual effects were cool, especially the love/hate/liar juxtaposition page. However, this collection was not presented well, was often difficult to read, and did not feel like it was given enough time to mature during the writing process. Not a good fit for me.

[tasha.reads · Rating 2 out of 5]

I’ve recently become quite infatuated with Bella Thorne so I was curious to get my hands on her book of thoughts and poems she published this year

I applaud the stark openness about the darkness in many parts of our life but this felt like a chaotic collection of random fleeting thoughts without any context besides past trauma. Which wasn’t the part that put me off as I have enjoyed other books like this but I think it was because I really couldn’t get into the headspace of such a messy mind palace.

[Momo · Rating 4 out of 5]

I surprisingly enjoyed this! I picked this up from my library because everyone I know didn't like it but I really enjoyed the raw and unfiltered prose and will probably add it to my physical collection because I love the cover. It wasn't too hard for me to get through mentally which is really nice because it still touches on darker themes but without being too triggering if you've also dealt with those topics.

[Jose · Rating 1 out of 5]

This book is garbage the fact that it’s even selling kinda blows my mind it’s an attempt to write something somewhat appealing to the younger crowd but is just a error as a whole don’t get me started on the grammatical errors and incomplete sentences I wish I could give it 0 stars really don’t buy this book reading the title is more than enough of a red flag. You’re welcome saved you money

[Haley Moreau · Rating 3 out of 5]

Two star book, but one extra star for putting herself out there like that. Very brave of her. The spelling really made it hard to understand and digest. That was the biggest issue with the book and why I would give it 2 stars.

[Lauren Derico · Rating 5 out of 5]

really good book read it 5 times! top five for recommendation

[Kirstie Sherrow · Rating 4 out of 5]

There were parts that were more difficult to read, but overall the emotion in the poems really struck a chord with me and helped form a “connection” with the author

[Melissa · Rating 2 out of 5]

If I hadn’t watched this author on interviews I may have thought her “writing” was intentional. Spend you time reading something else. Anything else.

[AndreaDyDy · Rating 1 out of 5]

I'm not a fan of the author, but I also don't dislike her. This book just didn't do anything new or even, I felt, real.

[Jennifer Brown · Rating 1 out of 5]

What the heck did I just (try to) read?? Another book that I finished but had to skip a bunch of! This time it was because the writing was so awful...who decided to publish this crap?! I know this chick is dyslexic so I went to her insta and nope, she doesn't write/spell this horribly all the time! This book is a shout for help! Whoever decided it would be a hit must've been on the same drugs the author was obviously on while writing this.

Don't waste your time with this and if you must read it, get it from your local library like I did!

[Cam Cunliffe · Rating 1 out of 5]

This can barely be considered a book. It’s a cash grab. The poetry is something of a 7th grader and I understand the whole “different fonts” across the pages but it was just jarring. I’m really happy I picked up a copy from the library and didn’t pay for this “book” just to save you some time- there’s no story line, the “poems” aren’t concise or truly good. I like Bella Thorne but this was an obvious cash grab.

[Toni Moore · Rating 2 out of 5]

I am a fan of Bella, not so much for her acting but of who she is and represents as a person. I wanted to like this book but I just found it literally hard to read due to the spelling and actual print. It reached deep but at times felt forced, like something I would have written as a brooding teenager trying too hard to make something dark and whimsical. Some pieces were great and relatable.

[Mary Grace]

I like Bella Thorne, but I hate this book! Her poetry lacks depth and she spells a lot of words incorrectly. Some of the poems are super short and there's tons of spaces in the pages. This is a very overpriced book. I even borrowed money from my sister so that I could buy this book. And I regret buying it. "The Life of a Wannabe Mogul: Mental Disarray" is a horrible book with some nice pictures.

[Ashton · Rating 3 out of 5]

I love Bella Thorne. I love how she is unapologetically herself and doesn't make any excuses for it. I read this in ebook form so it was hard for me to read, but the parts I did read were interesting and incredible. This book is raw and revealing and interesting but it lacked something as well.

[Deb O · Rating 3 out of 5]

Enjoyable

Honestly would have enjoyed it more if the format was more compatible with my kindle. But it was very difficult to read constantly zooming in and out.

[Vi Ayers · Rating 1 out of 5]

Worst book I've ever read. Seriously. Thank god it only took me an hour to read the whole thing. That was the ONLY plus.

[Betty Jo · Rating 4 out of 5]

3.5

I really like Bella Thorne. The way she is solely herself and doesn’t apologize for it. I bought this book for my little sister and I’m glad she has someone like Bella to look up to. Some of this book felt a little “I’m quirky” but as a whole I enjoyed it. I like how honest she was in a way that didn’t feel contrived. After reading I just want to give her a hug and tell her she is worthy of love.