やがて君になる 佐伯沙弥香について

やがて君になる 佐伯沙弥香について [Yagate Kimi ni Naru: Saeki Sayaka ni Tsuite] #1

by 入間人間

理解でもなく、諦めでもなく、そこにあるのは自分への納得。
　――私は、女の子に恋することしかできないんだって。
　幼少時代から大人びていて、どこか達観した少女だった佐伯沙弥香。だが小学五年生の時に友達の女の子から自分へ向けられた感情に、彼女は答えを出せずにいた。
　そして中学時代。仲の良かった先輩・千枝から恋心を打ち明けられた彼女は戸惑いながらも告白を受け入れ、次第に恋愛の深みにはまっていくが……。
　ままならない想いに揺れ動く少女、佐伯沙弥香の恋を描くもうひとつのガールズストーリー。

Genres: Light Novel, Manga, Yuri, LGBT, Romance, Queer, Fiction

228 pages, Kindle Edition

First published November 10, 2018

About the author

See also: Hitoma Iruma

1986年生まれ。アスキー・メディアワークス刊の電撃文庫にて活躍する若手小説家。同社が主催する、第13回電撃小説大賞に『嘘つきみーくんと壊れたまーちゃん』を投稿、最終選考で惜しくも受賞を逃す。その後、数度の改稿を経て電撃文庫にてデビュー。

男性，一九八六年出生。日本小説家、輕小說作家。岐阜県出身。

以進入第十三屆電撃小説大賞最終選考會的作品《說謊的男孩與壞掉的女孩》（台灣角川出版）出道成為小說家。特徵是引用許多其他作品的諧仿、輕快的表現、奇異的價值觀以及奇妙的登場人物。常被評為受西尾維新的影響很大。

Reviews

[. · Rating 4 out of 5]

Sayaka is best girl.

[Jud · Rating 5 out of 5]

Let's start this review by saying that, while I've always understood Saeki Sayaka, I had never loved her that much, but Regarding Saeki Sayaka changed that.
In this first volume, we get to see her upbringing, her experiences, her inner thoughts... all of these help us to understand her better and sympathize with her. During the novel, our protagonist goes through the process of accepting her homosexuality: first denial, next disregard, later acceptance. She tries to avoid love, connection and affection just to end up where she always knew she would. By the end of the novel, my heart was breaking along with hers. Yuzuki-senpai's words were such a slap in the face... an absolutely wrenching scene.
Now I'm very interested in continuing this series and seeing Sayaka's journey. In conclusion, a great read and addition to the Bloom Into You series.

P.S. Shoutout to the girl from the swimming lessons. She was very cute and I'd like to know more about her!

"It wasn’t understanding, or resignation, just acceptance. Of myself, and of the fact that I could only love girls."

[Michihako · Rating 5 out of 5]

It wasn’t understanding, or resignation, just acceptance. Of myself, and of the fact that I could only love girls

That was the last paragraph of the book. I'm satisfied.

“You and I aren’t children anymore.”

“I don’t think we should play at dating like this anymore. It’s not good for us.”

“I mean, we’re both girls—you know?”

Not surprised but it still made me cry. When Sayaka finally 'bloomed into her' , Senpai ended their relationship. It HURTS SO BAD :((

[Abby · Rating 4 out of 5]

Saeki Sayaka was far and away my favorite character from Bloom into You, so I was delighted to finally read this spin-off light novel. I think Hitomi Iruma did a lovely job getting into Sayaka’s head: The feelings of first love and first heartbreak are palpable. Sayaka’s trying to logic her way through love, and not quite knowing what to call the feelings she has are so real and truly touching. Excited to read the follow-up novel now to see her get the love she truly deserves.

[Peyton · Rating 4 out of 5]

Bloom Into You is my favorite manga of all time. The story, while comforting, shows a sense of realism that feels both familiar and deeply personal. This novel builds on this by showing the more uncomfortable and awkward moments that often arise in real relationships. These messy, imperfect, and at times uncomfortable interactions create a heightened sense of relatability. In the original manga, such moments were largely overlooked, partly because Yuu’s maturity allowed her to navigate situations with emotional distance, and the narrative didn’t delve as deeply into the characters’ introspection. This novel creates an intimate look into Saeki's internal world, making her struggles feel more immediate and personal. Saeki is now my favorite character due to this added emotional depth. I don’t think this novel series could ever outpace my love for the original work, but it is surely one of the most relatable pieces of fiction I have ever experienced.

[Mark · Rating 5 out of 5]

Fantastic read - I didn’t realize until the end that this wasn’t written by the mangaka who wrote the series itself. Very much an unnecessary addition to the Bloom Into You canon, it expands on Saeki’s backstory in some intriguing ways and you can really get a sense of how she became the character we see in the manga.

I’m glad there are a couple more of these - it’d be great to see her character learning to move along and find true love at some point. This might be rated too highly but my Bloom Into You bias is incredibly high.

[Ronaldo · Rating 5 out of 5]

A must read for those that read the original manga. Sayaka's perspective feels both familiar and foreign, because Vol. 1 is her origin story in many ways. And seeing how the events of her early life shape her is real treat to fans of her character.

[jabulisile (chaotic.pagesofjae) · Rating 3 out of 5]

3 stars

[elliot december!! · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is actually one of my favorite books ever and I’ve read it so many times and just have to keep reading it again, I’m finally going to read novels 2 + 3 and the mangas!

5/5

[Ansgar · Rating 4 out of 5]

No me extraña que Nakatani dejara con tanta facilidad que Iruma hiciera una novela sobre uno de los personajes de su manga, la autora de este relato ha sabido coger todo lo que era Sayaka en el manga y darle un sentido más profundo con una precuela. Le da un trasfondo que explica porque Sayaka hace lo que hace y en todos los diálogos estás pensando "es Sayaka literal". Se nota que Iruma también ama el manga y lo ha hecho con mucho cariño. Me alegro de que a la autora le encantara también y le dieran la posibilidad de hacer dos novelas más porque Sayaka no era un personaje que me interesara demasiado y después de leer esto sí lo es. Seguro que después de leer los tres el manga se relee distinto.

[Prismo · Rating 4 out of 5]

this hit wayyy harder than i expected like holy shit iruma cooked here

sayaka in this volume is honestly a little stilted and quite awkward (although great in school), but that honestly makes her even more relatable than if she was less stand-offish

iruma really handles her with care regarding her awakening to her sexuality and her interactions with yuzuki especially, which is a difficult task given how delicate the subject (and indeed, sayaka herself) is

if you watched and/or read bloom into you, then this is a must read!!! however, you need exactly 0 knowledge of the series to enjoy this coming-of-age story and i highly recommend!

[Laura (crofteereader) · Rating 3 out of 5]

Sayaka starts so cold, even as a child, that it made me a little nervous about how Hitoma would approach the Sayaka of the Bloom Into You manga. But it happened. And it seemed to come as suddenly to us as it did to Sayaka herself, all that carefully manufactured distance shattering in an instant.

There were also so many really clever references to the manga. Usually really small things like the author of a novel Sayaka reads and her brief visit to Yuu's family bookstore before she understands the significance of that relationship.

So now I'm excited for book two.

[Dat Huynh · Rating 3 out of 5]

3.5/5

Sayaka comes off as pretty annoying at first. Kind of robotic and not in tune with her emotions. Though as the novel progressed and she learned more about love, it was nice to see her perspective start to change. There were certain points in the novel where I'm like "What the fuck are you doing?" but that's just a part of falling in love for the first time. The novel was largely to develop the character of Sayaka and I think it did a good job in doing that though the story itself was a bit bland.

[Isapropanol · Rating 4 out of 5]

I'm so used to Hitoma Iruma writing wholesome things that this one kind of surprised me. Nevertheless, I enjoyed it.
Will I read more? Only time will tell... but I should probably retry reading the original manga before that happens.

[Alden Barron · Rating 3 out of 5]

Cute little prequel for the main series. I really liked that they were able to flesh out Sayaka more since she’s a pretty integral part of the main story. Still not amazing though simply due to it being a light novel and by extension less descriptive.

[Eressea · Rating 3 out of 5]

入間的文風讓他筆下的每個角色都變得很神經質
看起來有點崩潰....

說起來我們的佐伯學姊被原作者虐完之後
再被衍生作品繼續虐，看起來很可憐
但在這部外傳中原因很明顯：
一切都是佐伯你小學時不告而別拋棄黑肉的報應啊!

恩，雖然看劇透在第三部得到救贖了
不過等台版不知道還要等多久....

[vr · Rating 3 out of 5]

Derrota lgbt

[Curtis · Rating 5 out of 5]

Mucho feels.

[Vicenta NMC · Rating 4 out of 5]

looks like someone's about to get her heart broken a second time🥲

[Victoria · Rating 4 out of 5]

mean lesbian origin story 👍

[m · Rating 5 out of 5]

Ramble rather than a review.

Sayaka was probably my favourite character in the manga (or maybe it'd be more accurate to say that she was relatable?), so I was pretty hyped when I heard that there was going to be a light novel focused on her. All in all, I really liked it! The prose, the storyline, and of course, the art. You'd need to read the manga to enjoy this series, I think, but it's moreso for the second volume than this one, because this one is set before the events of the manga.

It is rather introspective, but written very nicely, which I guess is kind of expected of a novel that's written in Sayaka's POV. So I think if you had even kinda liked Sayaka in the manga, this would be a great read. She makes a lot of cool points that are nice even outside of her character... If that makes sense. As in, if it were a standalone novel, it also makes some nice points. There is a lot of parallels being drawn here and there, and a lot of metaphors, which I didn't really expect, but that just made it all the more enjoyable to read-- moments like 'Oh! The author is subtly referring to that' and that sorta stuff.

In this novel, we get to see her through two main relationships: a girl from her swimming class, and a senior from her junior high choir club. These two relationships parallel each other very well, somehow, and Sayaka notes it herself. The beginning of both relationships are rather similar, and later on, the endings of both mirror each other as well. In the manga/moreso in volume 2, we also see how they parallel her relationship with Touko.

I was filled with this sense of, 'Man, I really don't want her to suffer!', sort of feeling. But still, I think the novel was nice because you could see her grow through these relationships. Understanding how she had become the way she was, was really nice, to say the least. The way her thoughts and feelings were written really made me empathise with her, and want to follow her story. So in all, it was a well written book, and I enjoyed it a ton.

Here are some of the quotes I liked from the book! I didn't expect there to be so many, in honesty.
- Sayaka's grandmother: "But the faster you pick things up, the more cowardly you'll become." / "Adults already know the outcomes of all kinds of things, you see. That's why they become cowards."
- I wasn't sure if I could overtake her at all, and even if I did hypothetically surpass her, there was a chance I would just be behind another person. If I had to repeat that forever... (break) Maybe there was no security to be found in first place at all. (This one is cool, because there's a similar theme/vibe in the second volume, about her feelings with Touko!)
- I had been gauging my abilities based solely on whether I was winning or losing against others, but now I knew that you couldn't get forward by mindlessly pushing forward. I wasn't sure whether that meant my outlook had expanded or if i had simply given up because I couldn't see what was ahead of me anymore. I wonder if my elementary school self would be satisfied with who I am now.
- People have a weak spot when it comes to endings. Nothing motivates people to prioritize things more than knowing they won't ever happen again. (Unrelated, but I felt like I was reminded of Kitchen by Banana Yoshimoto, when I read this.)
- I already knew, of course, that the face people showed to the outside world wasn't their true self. I was the same way. Those who let their true thoughts show through were lacking something as human beings. But was showing our fake faces to each other really love? I didn't know. (For this one, I was thinking about Manaka, and the elementary school swimming kid. Huh, and for the first half, I was reminded of Touko.)

[Paul Ocone · Rating 4 out of 5]

Much like the main manga/anime series of Bloom into You, this light novel spin-off penned by Hitoma Iruma is a powerful critique of the permeating and restrictive effect of heteronormativity (and a biting critique of certain Class S tropes in particular). But perhaps more importantly, it gives a voice to Sayaka, a character from the original work who deserves to have her own story told. Focusing on Sayaka's backstory in elementary and junior high school, this volume tells the story of her awakening sexuality.

Written almost more as two novellas with no chapter divisions but the elementary and middle school sections, this could truly be considered a "light" novel...but its large print and breezy writing style conceal a meaningful and impactful story of Sayaka growing up, trying to figure out what it means to be an adult, and discovering that she likes girls--and starting to grasp the struggle of living in a heteronormative world. (light spoilers: Although she has self-admittedly forgotten or buried most of her memories from the first part by the time the second part starts, the formative experiences of elementary school clearly still echo: the imagery of water from swimming lessons in the first part reappears frequently in the latter half.)

Besides the critique of heteronormativity, other themes and motifs from the Bloom into You manga resurface here, such as the idea of changing yourself to suit your love, but these themes never feel rehashed or old; on the contrary, Iruma finds new facets of these themes to explore, while their inclusion brings the novel thematically into alignment with the manga.

On a more personal note, I found many of Sakaya's flaws almost too relatable, including her younger self's rejection of close friendship (which made me look back at similar attitudes in my past and cringe) and her tendency to overthink her relationships. These aspects of Sayaka's past and present selves were painfully relatable, holding up a mirror to my own past and present selves. I don't always look for characters who are like me in fiction, and there are certainly many differences between Sayaka and me, but many of her flaws and insecurities were striking in their similarity to mine.

I felt bad for the unnamed girl from the swimming lessons at the beginning, who I feel deserves her own spin-off: I want her to find happiness too! I think Sayaka's reaction to her and rejection/burial of her feelings surfacing for the first time was one of the most powerful parts of the book, and where I think Iruma most adds to Nakatani's take-down of heteronormativity: Sayaka doesn't want to, refuses to imagine a world where she likes girls; she wants it to be impossible and runs away from it. In the second half, although I knew what was coming from the manga, I was surprised by how I came to like Yuzuki-senpai as a character, and then how that sympathy was destroyed in her callous and offhand breakup with Sayaka. (Though of course, in line with the structural critique of Nakatani/Iruma, although Yuzuki is somewhat at fault as an agent, her attitudes are structured by heteronormativity.)

On the whole, in this first volume of Regarding Saeki Sayaka, Iruma has created a worthy addition to the Bloom into You franchise, one that is totally in alignment with Nio Nakatani's vision of Sayaka and her vision of the entire series; one that expands on Sayaka's character and tells the story of one of the most interesting characters from the original series. I know that Sayaka will continue to grow up and experience the pain of love as she searches for her own happy ending; I'm looking forward to reading the other entries in this series!

[Case Firefly · Rating 5 out of 5]

I might be an unusual reader in that I came to this first. I've never read the main series manga or watched the anime. So I had no expectations for what Sayaka should be like, who she would meet, or what the tone would be like. I was specifically looking for light novels and these came highly rated. So Sayaka-chan was a fresh character for me and... I loved it!

All the relationships felt so real to me. It had all the silly things young people trying to figure out relationships do. Running away, big declarations, confusion about what's going on, cluelessness on what you want. It's good to know it wasn't just me who acted like this when I was 12-14. I laughed at a lot of places, really felt for a couple sad parts, and the ending... chef's kiss. I like how the ending actively rejects a harmful trope that still persists in a lot of this genre.

In the early going, it felt like the author was trying to represent some neurodiversity in Sayaka: the way she doesn't seem to understand what people want, the way she has to reason through why people say things and what they might mean, and the way she wants to say things directly. TBH, it felt like pretty good rep, because it's always done with Sayaka as a unique person just living her life.

I'm definitely going on to book 2. And, yeah, I'll probably read all three of these before I read the main series. I wonder what effect that will have.

[S · Rating 2 out of 5]

Not as interesting as the manga

[Anya · Rating 3 out of 5]

sayaka was getting play in 7th grade. in 7th grade my biggest concern was probably my minecraft world or beating my scores on skate 3 (3.25)

[Caroline Sophia Hamel · Rating 5 out of 5]

"Love had interrupted my life just once, and even that small incident had made me lose my presence of mind."

Bloom Into You: Regarding Saeki Sayaka is a beautiful, contemplative coming of age, and a gentle book in its exploration of sexuality and self-acceptance. It's a supplemental light novel following a side character from the manga (but can very easily stand alone).

It follows Sayaka, a matter-of-fact, logical girl, with a formal attitude and an extreme focus on school. She has difficulty understanding her own feelings, often overthinking small things, as well as struggling to understand the feelings and intentions of those around her. Much of the book is about her coming into her own feelings.

Regarding Saeki Sayaka is a book about self-exploration and acceptance. It's a beautiful book that handles its messages delicately. The character arc of Sayaka is really subtle and beautifully written, and I found much of it relatable and heartfelt. The book follows Sayaka over several years of her life.

Sayaka spends a great amount of time contemplating the two people who expressed romantic interest in her and what love should be like. And throughout the book, she wonders what love means for her as a person.

Sayaka is a really kind character who you really feel for and I'm glad she gets her own supplemental stories. She's a really compelling character.

Some people might find her really aloof, but as someone who struggles to grasp other people's feelings, let alone my own, as well as someone who's had difficulty expressing those emotions properly, I don't see her that way.

This book is about first love--specifically queer love, self-discovery, and acceptance. I've always loved the handling of the coming of age messages in Bloom Into You, and this book is just as touching. I was a little apprehensive, given that this book is written by a different author, but I really didn't have to worry at all. I've grown to appreciate Sayaka's character even more through this book and she's very consistently written.

And this book perfectly captures the indescribable feeling of falling for someone in such a pleasant way.

Regarding Saeki Sayaka is a really healing book and so genuine. It understands the feeling of being alone in your queerness and carries some pain. Though, it is a pretty light, optimistic read with a perfect ending that's beautifully put, and are words that most queer people have or will come to terms with themselves in some form. It's one of the most relatable endings to a book I've ever read and I happy cried reading it. Because our queerness is something we can't change. It's something to be embraced.

"It wasn't understanding, or resignation, just acceptance. Of myself, and of the fact that I could only love girls." – Saeki Sayaka

Bloom Into You is a series I'd highly recommend to lesbian readers, whether or not you like light novels, manga, or anime. There's something special about Bloom Into You. The manga, light novel, and anime all have really beautiful themes of finding yourself.

I also listened to Michiru Oshima's soundtrack to the anime while reading this (and when I read the manga too). It's just so light and lovely.

TW: emotional manipulation by a partner, abandonment (all handled well and relatably)

Sayaka's strung along and then left, which if you have an abandonment complex, like me, this can be relatable. And as someone likely on the autism spectrum, I loosely interpret her as strongly masking and on the spectrum (don't take my word for that, I just related to how she sees the world and how she presents herself; it's just a headcannon).

[♡ venus ♡ · Rating 2 out of 5]

I wanted to like this book. I really, really did. Unfortunately, that's not the way I felt while reading this light novel.

To put it simply: this book was boring. And irritatingly dull, both in character and in plot. I understand that this is meant to be Sayaka's "origin story" of sorts, but that's no excuse for writing a book that has so little real plot, substance, or nuance to it. We spend much of the book in Sayaka's head, and I found her internal dialogue very annoying. I understand that the author intends for her to come across as naive and unexperienced in matters of love, but the way it's written makes her seem less unexperienced and more plain old stupid in the way she misinterprets things and miscommunicates - or doesn't communicate at all - constantly. And the entire book follows this theme.

The timing and pacing of the writing was also off. Individual scenes dragged, and timeskips came out of nowhere. Sayaka's characterisation, even within the same time period, was inconsistent, and the prose was flowery yet still managed to be insubstantial. The only thing I really liked about this book was the "childhood crush" portion and the callbacks to it, which were sweet. But the middle school portion was awfully dull.

I get the feeling that this book was unnecessary. I think that the Sayaka's character, as well as the plot and story of the later books, would work perfectly well if the events of this book were only referenced in passing or in one influential character scene. Did we really need a full play-by-play and timeline of the events for this? Hopefully, now that we've gotten the unnecessary full backstory out of the way, the plot of the next books will flow better.

[Shu Wei Chin · Rating 4 out of 5]

This is such a lovely read, exploring struggles with self-identity and sexuality ⚢

At the beginning, Saeki Sayaka came off as aloof and frustratingly ambitionist but as the story progresses I began to love her character development. The book focuses on her gradual personal growth through experiencing her day-to-day life, so while there is little plot, Sayaka becomes a character many will love and relate to.

Food for thought:
Sayaka's thought processes and growth also made me wonder if she is neurodivergent, an inkling from the times she struggles to read the room, comprehend others' intentions and process emotions. I don't know if this was the author's intention, but if it is I'm glad for representation where the main character is not treated as "other" or weird, it is just a part of who she is.

I was a silly billy and didn't read the original manga (Bloom into You, Vol. 1) before embarking on this spin off series, but it all works out as this first volume of Bloom Into You: Regarding Saeki Sayaka turns out to be an "episode zero" of sorts before the timeline of the original manga. I will start reading the manga next and everytime I encounter Sayaka I'll probably be like this:

[Hani Aqil · Rating 4 out of 5]

A surprisingly intimate character portrait of a young girl coming to terms with her sexuality.

Sayaka, the protagonist, is relatable and three dimensional. As someone who is almost exactly the kind of person she is, I found myself sympathising greatly with her thoughts. Her inner monologue is believable and beautifully written, and the relationships unfold naturally as they have time to simmer. I’m the sort of person who is usually too jaded to enjoy romance, but this was so good that I came away more invested in Sayaka than the main storyline. Which brings me to my next point.

When I was reading this, I thought that only a queer woman could have captured the loneliness of being a lesbian this well. So I was shocked to find out that the author was in fact male. Usually I would be wary of this but I can tell that he’s legitimately invested in the characters and that he has the ability to really put himself in the protagonists shoes. I applaud him for writing such a respectful and loving portrayal of Sayaka. (Though obviously the writer of the main series laid the groundwork that made this possible )

Overall, I was pleasantly surprised at the quality of this text and its ability to stand alone without the source material. I’m happy to say I came away from this a less cynical person.

[James · Rating 4 out of 5]

“It wasn’t understanding, or resignation, just acceptance. Of myself, and if the fact that I could only love girls.” — Saeki Sayaka.

A gentle and heartfelt coming-of-age story revisiting the childhood and first love of Saeki Sayaka, one of the breakout supporting characters from Bloom Into You. Hitoma Iruma is able to perfectly capture the mood and personality of Nakatani Nio’s characters, to the point where it’s hard to tell whether the original author actually wrote this or not.

Following Saeki Sayaka from primary school to middle school and along the way, exploring that realisation and awareness that she’s not quite like other girls, this is an authentic and understanding treatment of a young girl and her love for girls. Hitoma writes Sayaka so well that once at the story’s end, the Sayaka we see is so much more aware and accepting of herself and yet this isn’t a shock, just an example of great character writing. The writing captures Sayaka’s tone perfectly from the manga and the artwork accompanying it is lovely as usual.

This is a wonderful exploration of one of the key characters from my favourite anime and I’m looking forward to the next two volumes.