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Leading with Gratitude: Eight Leadership Practices for Extraordinary Business Results
The influential New York Times bestselling authors—the “apostles of appreciation” Chester Elton and Adrian Gostick—provide managers and executives with easy ways to add more gratitude to the everyday work environment to help bolster moral, efficiency, and profitablity.
Workers want and need to know their work is appreciated. Showing gratitude to employees is the easiest, fastest, most inexpensive way to boost performance. New research shows that gratitude boosts employee engagement, reduces turnover, and leads team members to express more gratitude to one another—strengthening team bonds. Studies have also shown that gratitude is beneficial for those expressing it and is one of the most powerful variables in predicting a person’s overall well-being—above money, health, and optimism. The WD-40 Company knows this firsthand. When the leadership gave thousands of managers training in expressing gratitude to their employees, the company saw record increases in revenue.
Despite these benefits, few executives effectively utilize this simple tool. In fact, new research reveals “people are less likely to express gratitude at work than anyplace else.” What accounts for the staggering chasm between awareness of gratitude’s benefits and the failure of so many leaders to do it—or do it well? Adrian Gostick and Chester Elton call this the gratitude gap. In this invaluable guide, they identify the widespread and pernicious myths about managing others that cause leaders to withhold thanks.
Gostick and Elton also introduce eight simple ways managers can show employees they are valued. They supplement their insights and advice with stories of how many of today’s most successful leaders—such as Alan Mulally of Ford and Hubert Joly of Best Buy—successfully incorporated gratitude into their leadership styles.
Showing gratitude isn’t just about being nice, it’s about being smart—really smart—and it’s a skill that everyone can easily learn.
277 pages, Kindle Edition
First published March 2, 2020
160 people are currently reading
1016 people want to read
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 68 reviews
March 15, 2020
Skip the Foreword. The writer is an over-privileged bag of dicks. The rest of the books is maybe not stellar, but still has some pretty good parts.
The first section, which covers dispelling myths, is the most useful part of the book. In fact, most people could probably read just that part and save time, but still learn the most valuable lessons from the book.
The part about the Motivators Assessment is a bit salesy, but the concept itself is worth further consideration. I admit it. I took the assessement, but only because of Covid-19 social distancing and boredom. Only the first two motivators were actually meaningful for me. Mileage would certainly vary.
The writing, though. OMG...it would be much more readable book without the groaners and dad jokes. These make the authors look old AF and out of touch. The MANY failed attempts at humor also detracts from their message in the worst way.
Also related to being out of touch...this book is very heteronormative, white, christian, and socially conservative. For readers who are marginalized or value EDI, you can find a better book on gratitude than this, I'm pretty sure, and I'm absolutely certain there are better books on leadership.
Overall, the book is a fast read with useful content primarily toward the front. Some of the lessons are worthwhile; others will likely fall flat, depending on the individual reader.
The first section, which covers dispelling myths, is the most useful part of the book. In fact, most people could probably read just that part and save time, but still learn the most valuable lessons from the book.
The part about the Motivators Assessment is a bit salesy, but the concept itself is worth further consideration. I admit it. I took the assessement, but only because of Covid-19 social distancing and boredom. Only the first two motivators were actually meaningful for me. Mileage would certainly vary.
The writing, though. OMG...it would be much more readable book without the groaners and dad jokes. These make the authors look old AF and out of touch. The MANY failed attempts at humor also detracts from their message in the worst way.
Also related to being out of touch...this book is very heteronormative, white, christian, and socially conservative. For readers who are marginalized or value EDI, you can find a better book on gratitude than this, I'm pretty sure, and I'm absolutely certain there are better books on leadership.
Overall, the book is a fast read with useful content primarily toward the front. Some of the lessons are worthwhile; others will likely fall flat, depending on the individual reader.
January 2, 2025
I thoroughly enjoyed this book. It is witty, humorous and full of robust research to support its claim. Since my first life principle involves gratitude I found myself constantly resonating with the text. The manner in which the authors expound on the effects unleashed through genuine expressions of thankfulness is both inspirational and practical. Every organization would be blessed if genuinely grateful leaders were leading the way. Fortunately, Leading with Gratitude provides us with a roadmap for such dynamic leadership.
July 5, 2020
This was a nice, quick read that reinforced much of what most of us already know. I've summarized my greatest take-aways here:
Workers want and need to know their work is appreciated. And showing gratitude to employees is the easiest, fastest, most inexpensive way to boost performance. New research shows that gratitude boosts employee engagement, reduces turnover, and leads team members to express more gratitude to one another - strengthening team bonds. Gratitude has the power to energize, heal and bring hope. Despite these benefits, few executives effectively utilize this simple tool. Gratitude is one of the most misunderstood and misapplied tools of management. That’s a shame, because it is also one of the single most critical skills for managers to master if they want to enhance their team’s performance and develop their leadership credibility. Research shows that there is a staggering gratitude deficit in the work world. In fact, a recent study found “people are less likely to express gratitude at work than anyplace else.” 81% of working adults say they would work harder if their boss were more grateful for their work.
Developing genuine gratitude involves carefully observing what employees are doing, walking in their shoes, developing greater empathy, and sincerely trying to understand the challenges they face. It is about seeing good things happening and then expressing heartfelt appreciation for the right behaviors. On the flip side, managers who lack gratitude suffer, first and foremost, from a problem of cognition - a failure to perceive how hard their people are trying to do good work - and, if they’re encountering problems, what they are. These ungrateful leaders suffer from information deficit. Another part of the ingratitude explanation lies in fundamental human nature. Research in psychology has shown we have a built-in tendency to give more attention to problems and perceived threats than positive things happening around us. That is dubbed the negativity bias.
Some leaders think it is necessary to withhold positive sentiments at times in order to keep pressure on team members. “If we keep them on edge, they’ll work harder” is the thinking. Pressure like that increases anxiety, and anxiety undermines productivity.
A 200,000–person study found that more grateful managers lead teams with higher overall business metrics, including up to two times greater profitability than their peers, an average 20% higher customer satisfaction, and significantly higher scores in employee engagement, including vital metrics such as trust and accountability.
The 8 most powerful gratitude practices:
Solicit and Act on Input - Henry David Thoreau wrote, “The greatest compliment anyone gave me was when they asked me for my opinion and then attended to my answer.” The advice to actively solicit input from employees is not new, but managers rarely do it. Even more rare is to see them follow through on suggestions. Let’s face it, many ideas won’t be viable, and yes, some people might get upset if their contributions aren’t acted upon if you don’t explain why. But openly discussing with them the reasons their ideas are not feasible and conveying authentic appreciation for the input assures them you’ve given thoughtful consideration. The best leaders harvest those ideas to enhance performance. At Amazon, for instance, the company’s intranet features an online suggestion box for employees to propose anything they think will make the company better, which is how free shipping was first suggested by software engineer Charlie Ward. That idea emerged in the insanely popular Prime program.
Assume Positive Intent – most people do care about their work and are trying to do a good job. Take a forward-looking approach; ask: What could we do differently in the future when faced with this situation?
Walk in Their Shoes - many leaders know little about the challenges their people are wrestling with in their daily work. In part that’s be¬cause they’ve never done their jobs themselves, but it’s also because they don’t take the time to ask about the difficulties their team members may be encountering. Leaders who develop empathy for others are great enablers of authentic gratitude. While empathy is often seen as a mental exercise - imagining how someone is feeling - the best way to be truly empathetic is to roll up your sleeves and actually walk in their shoes.
Here are some simple ways to elicit the help of others in spotting them:
• Ask team members to give shout-outs to each other.
• Ask team members to toot their own horns.
• Set and then reward achievement of daily, weekly, or 30-day goals.
• Spotlight those who speak up and offer ideas.
• Recognize those who find new productivity hacks.
• Thank those who find solutions to resolve conflicts.
• Make great use of anniversaries.
Give It Now, Give It Often, Don’t Be Afraid - The annual review is overly weighted toward criticism and can feel punitive to the employee. Even well-intended reviews can cause intense employee resentment if they are not tempered by frequent positive reinforcement through¬out the rest of the year. The infrequent formal feedback process leaves so many day-to-day achievements unacknowledged. That wastes golden opportunities to provide immediate positive reinforcement of the behaviors a leader is looking for, day in and day out.
Tailor to the Individual - Smart leaders use knowledge of individual motivators to tailor expressions of gratitude to each team member. More than 75,000 people have taken the Motivators Assessment, which highlighted that each person has a unique combination of what drives him/her on the job. The assessment revealed 23 workplace motivators: autonomy, challenge, creativity, developing others, empathy, excelling, excitement, family, friendship, fun, impact, learning, money, ownership, pressure, prestige, problem solving, purpose, recognition, service, social responsibility, teamwork, and variety.
Reinforce Core Values - A common theme among leaders interviewed is that expressions of gratitude should be connected to behaviors that are in line with the company or team core values. Appreciation is a powerful way to reinforce the importance of those vital principles. Showing gratitude is one of the most effective and memorable ways to reinforce leadership’s commitment to values and offers powerful opportunities to communicate why these grand ideals are so important - not to mention what can go wrong if they aren’t demonstrated. Gratitude offers an opportunity to put the flesh of specificity on the bones of core values.
Make Gratitude Peer-to-Peer - Leaders can make use of online systems or apps that have been developed to facilitate team-based gratitude (i.e. social recognition systems). These systems can help build bonds outside of immediate teams, break down silos, and help workers in different locations feel more connect¬ed to one another. At JetBlue, co-workers can nominate other crew members for everyday contributions as well as above-and-beyond work or effort, through a program called Lift. Successes are shared throughout the company on an internal newsfeed. JetBlue data shows that for every 10% increase in people reporting being recognized, it sees a 3% increase in employee retention and a 2% increase in engagement. You can also post complimentary videos of one of your fellow star employees on YouTube or the company intranet. And don’t forget the power of old-fashioned hand¬written notes.
Workers want and need to know their work is appreciated. And showing gratitude to employees is the easiest, fastest, most inexpensive way to boost performance. New research shows that gratitude boosts employee engagement, reduces turnover, and leads team members to express more gratitude to one another - strengthening team bonds. Gratitude has the power to energize, heal and bring hope. Despite these benefits, few executives effectively utilize this simple tool. Gratitude is one of the most misunderstood and misapplied tools of management. That’s a shame, because it is also one of the single most critical skills for managers to master if they want to enhance their team’s performance and develop their leadership credibility. Research shows that there is a staggering gratitude deficit in the work world. In fact, a recent study found “people are less likely to express gratitude at work than anyplace else.” 81% of working adults say they would work harder if their boss were more grateful for their work.
Developing genuine gratitude involves carefully observing what employees are doing, walking in their shoes, developing greater empathy, and sincerely trying to understand the challenges they face. It is about seeing good things happening and then expressing heartfelt appreciation for the right behaviors. On the flip side, managers who lack gratitude suffer, first and foremost, from a problem of cognition - a failure to perceive how hard their people are trying to do good work - and, if they’re encountering problems, what they are. These ungrateful leaders suffer from information deficit. Another part of the ingratitude explanation lies in fundamental human nature. Research in psychology has shown we have a built-in tendency to give more attention to problems and perceived threats than positive things happening around us. That is dubbed the negativity bias.
Some leaders think it is necessary to withhold positive sentiments at times in order to keep pressure on team members. “If we keep them on edge, they’ll work harder” is the thinking. Pressure like that increases anxiety, and anxiety undermines productivity.
A 200,000–person study found that more grateful managers lead teams with higher overall business metrics, including up to two times greater profitability than their peers, an average 20% higher customer satisfaction, and significantly higher scores in employee engagement, including vital metrics such as trust and accountability.
The 8 most powerful gratitude practices:
Solicit and Act on Input - Henry David Thoreau wrote, “The greatest compliment anyone gave me was when they asked me for my opinion and then attended to my answer.” The advice to actively solicit input from employees is not new, but managers rarely do it. Even more rare is to see them follow through on suggestions. Let’s face it, many ideas won’t be viable, and yes, some people might get upset if their contributions aren’t acted upon if you don’t explain why. But openly discussing with them the reasons their ideas are not feasible and conveying authentic appreciation for the input assures them you’ve given thoughtful consideration. The best leaders harvest those ideas to enhance performance. At Amazon, for instance, the company’s intranet features an online suggestion box for employees to propose anything they think will make the company better, which is how free shipping was first suggested by software engineer Charlie Ward. That idea emerged in the insanely popular Prime program.
Assume Positive Intent – most people do care about their work and are trying to do a good job. Take a forward-looking approach; ask: What could we do differently in the future when faced with this situation?
Walk in Their Shoes - many leaders know little about the challenges their people are wrestling with in their daily work. In part that’s be¬cause they’ve never done their jobs themselves, but it’s also because they don’t take the time to ask about the difficulties their team members may be encountering. Leaders who develop empathy for others are great enablers of authentic gratitude. While empathy is often seen as a mental exercise - imagining how someone is feeling - the best way to be truly empathetic is to roll up your sleeves and actually walk in their shoes.
Here are some simple ways to elicit the help of others in spotting them:
• Ask team members to give shout-outs to each other.
• Ask team members to toot their own horns.
• Set and then reward achievement of daily, weekly, or 30-day goals.
• Spotlight those who speak up and offer ideas.
• Recognize those who find new productivity hacks.
• Thank those who find solutions to resolve conflicts.
• Make great use of anniversaries.
Give It Now, Give It Often, Don’t Be Afraid - The annual review is overly weighted toward criticism and can feel punitive to the employee. Even well-intended reviews can cause intense employee resentment if they are not tempered by frequent positive reinforcement through¬out the rest of the year. The infrequent formal feedback process leaves so many day-to-day achievements unacknowledged. That wastes golden opportunities to provide immediate positive reinforcement of the behaviors a leader is looking for, day in and day out.
Tailor to the Individual - Smart leaders use knowledge of individual motivators to tailor expressions of gratitude to each team member. More than 75,000 people have taken the Motivators Assessment, which highlighted that each person has a unique combination of what drives him/her on the job. The assessment revealed 23 workplace motivators: autonomy, challenge, creativity, developing others, empathy, excelling, excitement, family, friendship, fun, impact, learning, money, ownership, pressure, prestige, problem solving, purpose, recognition, service, social responsibility, teamwork, and variety.
Reinforce Core Values - A common theme among leaders interviewed is that expressions of gratitude should be connected to behaviors that are in line with the company or team core values. Appreciation is a powerful way to reinforce the importance of those vital principles. Showing gratitude is one of the most effective and memorable ways to reinforce leadership’s commitment to values and offers powerful opportunities to communicate why these grand ideals are so important - not to mention what can go wrong if they aren’t demonstrated. Gratitude offers an opportunity to put the flesh of specificity on the bones of core values.
Make Gratitude Peer-to-Peer - Leaders can make use of online systems or apps that have been developed to facilitate team-based gratitude (i.e. social recognition systems). These systems can help build bonds outside of immediate teams, break down silos, and help workers in different locations feel more connect¬ed to one another. At JetBlue, co-workers can nominate other crew members for everyday contributions as well as above-and-beyond work or effort, through a program called Lift. Successes are shared throughout the company on an internal newsfeed. JetBlue data shows that for every 10% increase in people reporting being recognized, it sees a 3% increase in employee retention and a 2% increase in engagement. You can also post complimentary videos of one of your fellow star employees on YouTube or the company intranet. And don’t forget the power of old-fashioned hand¬written notes.
November 10, 2020
There is a lot here that could be useful, but it gets muddled by the confusion of who the audience of this books is for. Is it for Boomers, most of whom are retiring or getting there? Is it for Gen X? Likely. Is it for Millenials? No. The authors clearly do not think Millenials will benefit from this books as when they mention Millenials, it is in reference to "Millenial slang" and writes of Millenials as the up and coming employees who do not get it. They aren't possibly leaders (they probably really mean Zoomers as this is a 2020 title).
I've been in the full time work force for 10 years. I am an older Millenial looking for leadership advice. This book wrote me off, yet I could benefit from much of the advice in the book as I am of the age of being a parent or leader within my organization.
This book also throws in phrases like "tribe" which many are trying to move away from as it is considered offensive.
Overall, there is good advice and I muddled through to find it. It was disappointing as an older Millenial to be written off and out of this book and I could have gained so much more from it if generations weren't brought into it.
I've been in the full time work force for 10 years. I am an older Millenial looking for leadership advice. This book wrote me off, yet I could benefit from much of the advice in the book as I am of the age of being a parent or leader within my organization.
This book also throws in phrases like "tribe" which many are trying to move away from as it is considered offensive.
Overall, there is good advice and I muddled through to find it. It was disappointing as an older Millenial to be written off and out of this book and I could have gained so much more from it if generations weren't brought into it.
March 17, 2020
I got it from my boss. The authors recently spoke to our district managers team and she decided to share this novel with me.
The general idea of gratitude is well communicated with different options and approaches but I don’t believe their vision fits particularly well with very low income retail staff. The book also seriously liked to name drop and tell corny jokes that really interrupted the serious flow and vibe of this title.
Good and bad, life and this book are what you make of them.
The general idea of gratitude is well communicated with different options and approaches but I don’t believe their vision fits particularly well with very low income retail staff. The book also seriously liked to name drop and tell corny jokes that really interrupted the serious flow and vibe of this title.
Good and bad, life and this book are what you make of them.
June 4, 2020
A feel-good book with a ton of ideas to start your gratitude practice at work and at home.
On page 60 is one of my favorite quotes: "The single wooden plank you lay down the first time you cultivate appreciation would become reinforced over time until you create a habitual response to feel compassion, gratitude, and appreciation without much conscious effort at all", from leadership expert and writer Vanessa Loder.
Another favorite quote is on page 219: from Brene Brown: "It's not joy that makes us grateful, it's gratitude that makes us joyful".
I have found gratitude to make big changes in my inner life but I have a long way to go to make it part of my work and home life. This book has helped me see the missing pieces and given me the steps to ensure I will start practicing gratitude more! I look forward to my progress and the difference it will make in my communications with others!
On page 60 is one of my favorite quotes: "The single wooden plank you lay down the first time you cultivate appreciation would become reinforced over time until you create a habitual response to feel compassion, gratitude, and appreciation without much conscious effort at all", from leadership expert and writer Vanessa Loder.
Another favorite quote is on page 219: from Brene Brown: "It's not joy that makes us grateful, it's gratitude that makes us joyful".
I have found gratitude to make big changes in my inner life but I have a long way to go to make it part of my work and home life. This book has helped me see the missing pieces and given me the steps to ensure I will start practicing gratitude more! I look forward to my progress and the difference it will make in my communications with others!
October 3, 2023
I really enjoyed this!!! I’ve been struggling with some aspects of leading my team lately, and have been consequently second guessing my approach to leadership and expressing gratitude. As with most of my self help reads, this helped me understand why certain approaches of mine work, and come up with a few additional ideas to try out in the workplace. I recommend this to anyone who leads a team!
December 29, 2021
Easy to read, reminded me of what I already know but made me think about it in a different way.
May 9, 2020
Gratitude is a powerful way to shake up performance in business, but leaders often don’t understand how to reach it. The majority would see it as an action to perform after something important has been achieved, rather than utilising it as a tool to inspire in the process. Gratitude have got to be specific for it to be effective, not just a general statement of thanks. It is just as important to teach peers to acknowledge each other’s contributions as making your team feel inspired and appreciated.
By applying these mindsets and actions, you will propagate in a work environment based on trust, respect, and appreciation, and one that incorporates a sense of fun to counterbalance inevitable challenges.
By applying these mindsets and actions, you will propagate in a work environment based on trust, respect, and appreciation, and one that incorporates a sense of fun to counterbalance inevitable challenges.
April 7, 2021
Eighty-one percent of employees say that they’d work harder if their boss made them feel more appreciated.
The simple gesture of gratitude increases staff confidence, a vital quality for innovative thinking.
Leaders need to experience what it’s like to live their team members’ workday. Shadowing them will give you insight into the challenges they face in performing their roles. Be on the lookout for the subtle hurdles, like struggling to get information from other departments, or friction between coworkers.
The simple gesture of gratitude increases staff confidence, a vital quality for innovative thinking.
Leaders need to experience what it’s like to live their team members’ workday. Shadowing them will give you insight into the challenges they face in performing their roles. Be on the lookout for the subtle hurdles, like struggling to get information from other departments, or friction between coworkers.
September 17, 2025
Specific Feedback vs. Generic Feedback -- Brigham Young University gave us a terrific example of how important this concept is, not only at work but in our personal lives and the workshop he was conducting at one company. Cherrington outlined this idea of specific praise and got some pushback from a man in the group. The fellow argued, as many managers have with us, that any kind of praise has a positive impact in the workplace, and he said he often threw out such positives such as ‘good job’ to his employees and they certainly seem to appreciate his sentiments. Cherington asked if the man was a father. The fellow said yes, he had three children at home. The professor asked if he could conduct an experiment that night and report back to the group the next day. The man was to express appreciation to each of his three kids individually in the presence of his wife. He was to make this simple statement. I just want you to know how much I appreciate everything you do. And leave the room adding nothing more. After the father made the comment and left his wife asked their youngest child Why the father might have expressed appreciation, said Cherington. The 10 year old replied, I guess he must be upset because I didn't get the dishes done like I was supposed to. Yikes. 180° is different than the reaction is father was expecting. As to the fellows 13 year old, she replied to her mother. ‘I don't know why he said that. I guess he was just feeling sentimental.’ Not bad, but certainly not what the father was seeking. By the time the dad met with his 15 year old, he wondered if adding sincerity might pull this experiment out of the crapper. So, channeling his best William Shatner, he gave a moving performance, sighing to his oldest daughter, ‘Becky, I just want you to know how much I appreciate everything you do.’ Dad, appearing to struggle to contain his emotions, then left the room. Mom asked Becky what she thought her father had meant by that. And a few brilliant words the daughter captured when a lot of employees are thinking, ‘who knows, Mom? I don't think Dad has a clue what's going on around here.’ Ah, the wisdom of youth.
Gratitude tiers -- Our friend Kent is a director of learning and development in the software industry. He told us a terrific story about the need to tailor gratitude to the individual. After working for months on a new employee orientation program, he introduced a method that would allow the company to bring new hires up to speed in half the time of the old way of doing things the first year estimated. Savings to the company was in excess of $75,000. Kent was understandably proud of his achievement. He was not surprised when, at the next staff meeting, one of the company leaders presented him with a gift card for his hard work. I thought, OK, that's nice, a $25.00 gift card, he told us. I probably wouldn't have thought that much about it. Except for what? At the next. The senior executive who had recognized Kent clapped her hands and said, now let's have some fun. Who can name the teams in this weekend's Super Bowl? The woman sitting next to Candy raised her hand and got the question right. Her prize? You guessed it, exact same $25.00 gift card. Our friend laughed when he told us the story. Yeah, I wasn't upset. I thought it was. But I also didn't leave feeling my work was that appreciated.
Anger resentment -- Johnson read a news article about a group of teenagers who had been hiking in the Arizona desert. Juan was bitten by a rattlesnake. Instead of rushing the affected team to the emergency room, the group spent hours chasing down the snake to kill it. By the time the teams returned to their stricken friend, the venom had spread, and doctors eventually had to amputate the friend's limb. That stayed with me in a really powerful way, she said. When we're hurt, we have to decide, are we going to go after the person who hurt us, or are we going to get the venom out of our system? I could have been bitter that things weren't going the way I wanted, but that venom of bitterness? Could have killed me. That's when I had the epiphany of gratitude. Every day I would look for things. I was grateful for basic things. I'm grateful for my family, for my husband, for my children. Or today. I'm grateful for clean water or for modern medicine. It took being in this moment of absolute depths to understand The only way through this was to find the small things I was grateful for every day.
Bonuses / Incentives -- One more challenge with cash bonuses is that some employees tend to game the program when money is involved, finding ways around the rules and trying to fix the odds in their favor. We were once asked to speak to the sales group of a large technology company. While chatting with one of the top performers in a meet and greet, he told us he'd made his bonus only the week before. By selling a new solution to a client? That's good news, we said. What's the client using the product for? His reply? Don't know and don't care. When cash rules, people too often focus on the prize instead of doing what's best for their customers.
Power of people making a difference in simple jobs -- It's from the research team of University of Michigan professors Amy Rozanski and Jane Dutton, who led a study of custodians in a hospital in the Midwest. You'd probably agree that janitors are out of the sight line of most executives. In their case, the researchers found a staff member, Candace Phillips, who was seen as particularly kind by patients and families and made a big difference in their stays at the hospital. The researchers interviewed Phillips, whose job it was to clean up vomit and excrement in the oncology ward as patients came in from their chemotherapy. At the lowest point they can imagine, when they are physically ill, emotionally embarrassed and afraid, this custodian showed up with a mop, a bucket and a kindly smile and put them at ease, she said of her work at their lowest. And most vulnerable point, I helped them maintain their dignity. I make it OK to feel awful, to lose control. My role is crucial in the healing process.
Gratitude in Marriage -- We found the research by psychologists John Gottman and Robert Levinson particularly illuminating. They began doing longitudinal studies of married couples in the 1970s to understand the difference between happy and unhappy pairings. In one line of their research, they invited couples into a room. With video equipment, which the couples were aware of and asked the pairs to take about 15 minutes to try to solve a conflict in their relationship. It could be anything from finances to in laws to kids to which way the toilet paper should hang or whatever was giving them grief at the time. The researchers then analyzed the tapes, detailing the nature of the couple's interactions. Then they put the tapes away, rewinding them naturally, since these were very considerate. Researchers note that joke was only for people older than 30. Nine years later, they checked in with the couples to find out whether they were still married. What they discovered was that in those brief attempts at conflict resolution all those years earlier, the couples who had stayed together showed a distinct ratio of positive to negative statements. It was 5 positives to each negative. For those who had divorced, the ratio of positive to negative. Was less than one to one going forward. Using this 15 minute interaction alone, the researchers were able to predict with more than 90% accuracy whether couples would stay together. Wow. Doctor Gottman said of the happiest couples. They may be arguing, but they are also laughing and teasing, and there are signs of affection because they have emotional connections. On the other hand, unhappy couples tend to engage in fewer positive interactions to compensate for their escalating negativity. If the positive to. Negative ratio during conflict is 1 to one or less. That's unhealthy and it indicates a couple teetering on the edge of divorce. Thanks in part to this research, therapists now have partners demonstrate gratitude to each other as an important component of couples therapy.
Gratitude tiers -- Our friend Kent is a director of learning and development in the software industry. He told us a terrific story about the need to tailor gratitude to the individual. After working for months on a new employee orientation program, he introduced a method that would allow the company to bring new hires up to speed in half the time of the old way of doing things the first year estimated. Savings to the company was in excess of $75,000. Kent was understandably proud of his achievement. He was not surprised when, at the next staff meeting, one of the company leaders presented him with a gift card for his hard work. I thought, OK, that's nice, a $25.00 gift card, he told us. I probably wouldn't have thought that much about it. Except for what? At the next. The senior executive who had recognized Kent clapped her hands and said, now let's have some fun. Who can name the teams in this weekend's Super Bowl? The woman sitting next to Candy raised her hand and got the question right. Her prize? You guessed it, exact same $25.00 gift card. Our friend laughed when he told us the story. Yeah, I wasn't upset. I thought it was. But I also didn't leave feeling my work was that appreciated.
Anger resentment -- Johnson read a news article about a group of teenagers who had been hiking in the Arizona desert. Juan was bitten by a rattlesnake. Instead of rushing the affected team to the emergency room, the group spent hours chasing down the snake to kill it. By the time the teams returned to their stricken friend, the venom had spread, and doctors eventually had to amputate the friend's limb. That stayed with me in a really powerful way, she said. When we're hurt, we have to decide, are we going to go after the person who hurt us, or are we going to get the venom out of our system? I could have been bitter that things weren't going the way I wanted, but that venom of bitterness? Could have killed me. That's when I had the epiphany of gratitude. Every day I would look for things. I was grateful for basic things. I'm grateful for my family, for my husband, for my children. Or today. I'm grateful for clean water or for modern medicine. It took being in this moment of absolute depths to understand The only way through this was to find the small things I was grateful for every day.
Bonuses / Incentives -- One more challenge with cash bonuses is that some employees tend to game the program when money is involved, finding ways around the rules and trying to fix the odds in their favor. We were once asked to speak to the sales group of a large technology company. While chatting with one of the top performers in a meet and greet, he told us he'd made his bonus only the week before. By selling a new solution to a client? That's good news, we said. What's the client using the product for? His reply? Don't know and don't care. When cash rules, people too often focus on the prize instead of doing what's best for their customers.
Power of people making a difference in simple jobs -- It's from the research team of University of Michigan professors Amy Rozanski and Jane Dutton, who led a study of custodians in a hospital in the Midwest. You'd probably agree that janitors are out of the sight line of most executives. In their case, the researchers found a staff member, Candace Phillips, who was seen as particularly kind by patients and families and made a big difference in their stays at the hospital. The researchers interviewed Phillips, whose job it was to clean up vomit and excrement in the oncology ward as patients came in from their chemotherapy. At the lowest point they can imagine, when they are physically ill, emotionally embarrassed and afraid, this custodian showed up with a mop, a bucket and a kindly smile and put them at ease, she said of her work at their lowest. And most vulnerable point, I helped them maintain their dignity. I make it OK to feel awful, to lose control. My role is crucial in the healing process.
Gratitude in Marriage -- We found the research by psychologists John Gottman and Robert Levinson particularly illuminating. They began doing longitudinal studies of married couples in the 1970s to understand the difference between happy and unhappy pairings. In one line of their research, they invited couples into a room. With video equipment, which the couples were aware of and asked the pairs to take about 15 minutes to try to solve a conflict in their relationship. It could be anything from finances to in laws to kids to which way the toilet paper should hang or whatever was giving them grief at the time. The researchers then analyzed the tapes, detailing the nature of the couple's interactions. Then they put the tapes away, rewinding them naturally, since these were very considerate. Researchers note that joke was only for people older than 30. Nine years later, they checked in with the couples to find out whether they were still married. What they discovered was that in those brief attempts at conflict resolution all those years earlier, the couples who had stayed together showed a distinct ratio of positive to negative statements. It was 5 positives to each negative. For those who had divorced, the ratio of positive to negative. Was less than one to one going forward. Using this 15 minute interaction alone, the researchers were able to predict with more than 90% accuracy whether couples would stay together. Wow. Doctor Gottman said of the happiest couples. They may be arguing, but they are also laughing and teasing, and there are signs of affection because they have emotional connections. On the other hand, unhappy couples tend to engage in fewer positive interactions to compensate for their escalating negativity. If the positive to. Negative ratio during conflict is 1 to one or less. That's unhealthy and it indicates a couple teetering on the edge of divorce. Thanks in part to this research, therapists now have partners demonstrate gratitude to each other as an important component of couples therapy.
January 5, 2021
One of the things I was looking for in a gratitude book was some actually stats of gratitude research studies that supported implementing gratitude. A bridge from academia to businesses. I was very satisfied in this front.
I was also looking for specific ways, many options , workplace processes and exercises , that I could consider. On this front I was pleased also.
And, this book quotes and cites so many big companies and CEOs, which I can use to build ethos as I’m convincing CEOs to believe in the power of gratitude and reason to make it a major focus above other virtues.
Last, it was easy to read. I wasn’t looking for masterful writing. I felt like they were talking to me. For this reason, I would feel comfortable buying this book for each employee and doing a book study with it. This would be way better than any book on motivation , business tactics, etc. it’s positive and uplifting , as you’d expect in a gratitude book.
So ya five stars bc it was spot on for what I was looking for. And it’s new. Not an old book. Very important since research on gratitude is still new and growing. Thx!
I was also looking for specific ways, many options , workplace processes and exercises , that I could consider. On this front I was pleased also.
And, this book quotes and cites so many big companies and CEOs, which I can use to build ethos as I’m convincing CEOs to believe in the power of gratitude and reason to make it a major focus above other virtues.
Last, it was easy to read. I wasn’t looking for masterful writing. I felt like they were talking to me. For this reason, I would feel comfortable buying this book for each employee and doing a book study with it. This would be way better than any book on motivation , business tactics, etc. it’s positive and uplifting , as you’d expect in a gratitude book.
So ya five stars bc it was spot on for what I was looking for. And it’s new. Not an old book. Very important since research on gratitude is still new and growing. Thx!
May 27, 2020
Great reminders. [spoilers]
- Don’t store up gratitude, thank your people in the moment as well as keeping a record
- Gratitude should match values, given like a “love language”
- Specific praise is helpful praise
- Gratitude should connect team values to daily work
- The best teams are made up of people who take initiative in mutual appreciation. Find ways to make authentic thanks visible.
- Don’t store up gratitude, thank your people in the moment as well as keeping a record
- Gratitude should match values, given like a “love language”
- Specific praise is helpful praise
- Gratitude should connect team values to daily work
- The best teams are made up of people who take initiative in mutual appreciation. Find ways to make authentic thanks visible.
October 11, 2020
In theories:
1. Management is nothing more than motivating other people
2. Skin in the game
3. The meaning of communication is a connection
In reality:
1. Personality is more important than the ability
2. Zero tolerant for disrespects
In leading
You play a stupid game, you win a stupid prize.
1. Management is nothing more than motivating other people
2. Skin in the game
3. The meaning of communication is a connection
In reality:
1. Personality is more important than the ability
2. Zero tolerant for disrespects
In leading
You play a stupid game, you win a stupid prize.
June 6, 2020
LOVED this book. It’s on one of my favorite topics too.
Is sold as an “airport self-help” book, but I really enjoyed it! Great model to make gratitude real and tangible in our lives and behavior.
Highly recommend for other leaders!
Is sold as an “airport self-help” book, but I really enjoyed it! Great model to make gratitude real and tangible in our lives and behavior.
Highly recommend for other leaders!
August 13, 2023
As a manager of large teams at Microsoft, I have always believed in the power of gratitude to boost performance, engagement, and morale. This book, Leading with Gratitude, by Adrian Gostick and Chester Elton, provides solid evidence and practical advice on how to cultivate a culture of appreciation in any organization. I found this book to be very aligned with my own philosophy, which I honed over years of working at startups large companies of engineers -- some of the smartest people in the world.
The authors draw on extensive research and interviews with successful leaders from various industries to show how gratitude can energize, heal, and inspire teams. They also debunk some common myths and misconceptions about gratitude, such as that it is soft, rare, or insincere. They offer dozens of examples and tips on how to express gratitude in meaningful and effective ways, tailored to different situations, personalities, and values. They also emphasize the importance of being timely, specific, and visible with gratitude, and of encouraging peer-to-peer recognition.
I especially liked the chapter on how gratitude can help overcome the negativity bias, which is the tendency to focus more on problems and threats than on positive events and opportunities. The authors suggest some simple strategies to counteract this bias, such as keeping a gratitude journal, celebrating wins, and reframing challenges as learning opportunities. They also share some inspiring stories of how gratitude helped leaders and teams overcome adversity, change, and crisis.
This book is not only informative and insightful, but also engaging and easy to read. The authors use a conversational tone and a lot of humor and anecdotes to illustrate their points. They also include a gratitude assessment, a gratitude action plan, and a gratitude challenge at the end of the book, to help readers apply what they learned and measure their progress.
I highly recommend this book to anyone who wants to improve their leadership skills, their team performance, and their personal well-being. I think this book would be a great resource for a book study or a training session, as it is positive, uplifting, and relevant to any workplace. I plan to buy a copy for each of my team members and share some of the best practices and insights from this book with them. I am confident that leading with gratitude will make a difference in our work and our lives.
The authors draw on extensive research and interviews with successful leaders from various industries to show how gratitude can energize, heal, and inspire teams. They also debunk some common myths and misconceptions about gratitude, such as that it is soft, rare, or insincere. They offer dozens of examples and tips on how to express gratitude in meaningful and effective ways, tailored to different situations, personalities, and values. They also emphasize the importance of being timely, specific, and visible with gratitude, and of encouraging peer-to-peer recognition.
I especially liked the chapter on how gratitude can help overcome the negativity bias, which is the tendency to focus more on problems and threats than on positive events and opportunities. The authors suggest some simple strategies to counteract this bias, such as keeping a gratitude journal, celebrating wins, and reframing challenges as learning opportunities. They also share some inspiring stories of how gratitude helped leaders and teams overcome adversity, change, and crisis.
This book is not only informative and insightful, but also engaging and easy to read. The authors use a conversational tone and a lot of humor and anecdotes to illustrate their points. They also include a gratitude assessment, a gratitude action plan, and a gratitude challenge at the end of the book, to help readers apply what they learned and measure their progress.
I highly recommend this book to anyone who wants to improve their leadership skills, their team performance, and their personal well-being. I think this book would be a great resource for a book study or a training session, as it is positive, uplifting, and relevant to any workplace. I plan to buy a copy for each of my team members and share some of the best practices and insights from this book with them. I am confident that leading with gratitude will make a difference in our work and our lives.
January 7, 2022
I was originally going to give this 3 stars, for a couple of reasons. But, as I read to the end, I realized that the message makes this worth a bump. One of the things that, at first, really bothered me was the generational language; this book was not written for millennials, explicitly, and was written for an older demographic. It seemed unnecessary, exclusionary, and out-of-place. Especially, to my thinking, as millennials are the current managing demographic in many spaces. The book sort of talked-down to/about millennials, in a weird back-handed compliment sort of way, as well as forgetting that Zoomers are entering the work force in earnest. For a book written in the last two years, it felt and sounded like something that could have been written 10-15 years ago, regarding generational divides and workforce demographics.
But, the message is great and important, which is what matters most. Also, as I neared the end of the book, I thought about how many gen-x and boomers are still in the workforce, in management positions, and while I still think the generationally divisive language is unnecessary, I can see where it might help hit home to some readers.
All in all, I agree with the message of the book, and look forward to incorporation gratitude journaling into my bullet journal. It is a healthy reminder to me to move with gratitude always, and I plan on starting my staff meeting with gratitude today. I also really loved the whole section on "taking it home" and making sure that you are kind to yourself and your loved ones outside of work; that made this feel holistic. Would recommend.
But, the message is great and important, which is what matters most. Also, as I neared the end of the book, I thought about how many gen-x and boomers are still in the workforce, in management positions, and while I still think the generationally divisive language is unnecessary, I can see where it might help hit home to some readers.
All in all, I agree with the message of the book, and look forward to incorporation gratitude journaling into my bullet journal. It is a healthy reminder to me to move with gratitude always, and I plan on starting my staff meeting with gratitude today. I also really loved the whole section on "taking it home" and making sure that you are kind to yourself and your loved ones outside of work; that made this feel holistic. Would recommend.
December 31, 2021
This book is really geared toward management, but has good points for any business person.
It was divided into three sections: The Ingratitude Myths, The Eight Most Powerful Gratitude Practices, A Grateful Life. Section 2 was filled with tips on how to express gratitude in the workplace. The authors interviewed many successful CEO’s and shared their perspectives. Their thoughts reinforced the truth that gratitude from leaders can completely shift the dynamic of an office or company. In today’s culture, when it’s hard to find good employees, when everyone is tired from working hard this is a good book for managers to have in their arsenal. “Gratitude doesn’t get old if it’s aligned with what the leader and team value most.” They further debunk many myths, one being praise should be reserved for when the job gets done. They explain that when a manager gives timely praise it proves the manager is paying attention and even a modicum of gratitude is helpful in getting people recharged. Who doesn’t need to be recharged these days?
I did only give it 4 stars because the authors talk about an assessment they’ve created to help managers know how to better show appreciation to their staff, but they did not include said assessment. Even a slimmed down version of the full test would have been helpful. Otherwise, the points were solid and the writing was easy to follow along.
If you are looking for a way to ramp up productivity or simply support your team more sincerely this is a good book to read.
It was divided into three sections: The Ingratitude Myths, The Eight Most Powerful Gratitude Practices, A Grateful Life. Section 2 was filled with tips on how to express gratitude in the workplace. The authors interviewed many successful CEO’s and shared their perspectives. Their thoughts reinforced the truth that gratitude from leaders can completely shift the dynamic of an office or company. In today’s culture, when it’s hard to find good employees, when everyone is tired from working hard this is a good book for managers to have in their arsenal. “Gratitude doesn’t get old if it’s aligned with what the leader and team value most.” They further debunk many myths, one being praise should be reserved for when the job gets done. They explain that when a manager gives timely praise it proves the manager is paying attention and even a modicum of gratitude is helpful in getting people recharged. Who doesn’t need to be recharged these days?
I did only give it 4 stars because the authors talk about an assessment they’ve created to help managers know how to better show appreciation to their staff, but they did not include said assessment. Even a slimmed down version of the full test would have been helpful. Otherwise, the points were solid and the writing was easy to follow along.
If you are looking for a way to ramp up productivity or simply support your team more sincerely this is a good book to read.
July 1, 2021
Gostick and Elton's book "Leading with Gratitude" is better than I expected. I thought it would be a book filled with platitudes and general information. However, I was pleasantly surprised.
This book is well researched and provides practical, specific advice to managers and leaders who seek to create cultures of high performance and employee engagement. They provide many examples of the concepts they present, backed up with quotes from nationally-known business leaders. I also like the application of the ideas of leading with gratitude, to both home and work. We all could do with being more thankful to those around us. This book provides a guide on how to start today with recognizing moments of gratitude and acting on them. Leading with gratitude also applies to peer-to-peer recognition, and not just to managers and leaders. Considering this, I believe this book would be helpful to everyone.
I end this review with a statement of gratitude: Thanks so much to Gostick and Elton for writing this book, and reminding us all that thankful moments are all around us. All we have to do is act on their advice and reap the joy that comes as a result of thankfulness.
This book is well researched and provides practical, specific advice to managers and leaders who seek to create cultures of high performance and employee engagement. They provide many examples of the concepts they present, backed up with quotes from nationally-known business leaders. I also like the application of the ideas of leading with gratitude, to both home and work. We all could do with being more thankful to those around us. This book provides a guide on how to start today with recognizing moments of gratitude and acting on them. Leading with gratitude also applies to peer-to-peer recognition, and not just to managers and leaders. Considering this, I believe this book would be helpful to everyone.
I end this review with a statement of gratitude: Thanks so much to Gostick and Elton for writing this book, and reminding us all that thankful moments are all around us. All we have to do is act on their advice and reap the joy that comes as a result of thankfulness.
July 6, 2022
It was good, they made a few good points. Some of the grammar was inaccurate or hard to follow. I am used to reading dry, academic books that are throughly vetted. Some of the writing was spot on; some of it was oversimplified. I might come back and revise this review with some definitive examples. There where a few, very well-spoken quotes. Wish I could give it a 3.5 instead of a hard 3. There was an example of a neighbor who was also a boss. The example was a neighbor to neighbor dispute. That is very subjective and one sided (especially coming from a family member). It talked about the man cutting branches that overhang his property (which is his right). It didn’t say if the branches had caused previous damage or any other background. It doesn’t say whether or not a frisbee throw into his yard had shattered a window in the past. It called him a bad neighbor, and used those to suggest that that implied bad leadership at work. It made the author’s sound like couple of Gossip Girl characters.
October 21, 2020
Gratitude is an intangible quality that people often overlook. It's not about using gratitude to make someone like you, though it might, it is about being authentic. I listened to a podcast with Gostik and Elton and was intrigued. In many workplaces and organizations, showing people that they are appreciated make a big difference but there's not a blanket approach to showing gratitude since people are different and just thanking someone with a gift card or party may not be the right way to "say thanks." Leading with Gratitude also says how you would respond when someone appreciates what you do - simply say thank you - don't be self-deprecating about your work or effort. The authors also mention that while compensation is important, leaders and co-workers who practice gratitude in a workplace can be an additional factor in forming an work culture and help retain people who want to be innovative and achieve more.
January 20, 2022
I read this as part of a book club at work. This is a book that should have been a blog post. It wasn’t awful, but it wasn’t particularly interesting. There were a few key insights about how gratitude isn’t something that makes people lazy or how sincere gratitude vs platitudes are always welcome and appreciated. However, there was so much fluff in this book, and so many terrible puns/lame jokes, that it was borderline unbearable. I finally switched to the audiobook and listened on 2X speed and managed to get through it. I would rate this lower than a 3 (because 3⭐️ usually means I liked it) but there really wasn’t anything I found problematic or offensive. It’s a little privileged, but really, how else would one expect a book on leadership to be written? It’s fine, but don’t waste your time.
April 15, 2020
This was a quick read and I got a lot more out of it than I thought I would (based on prior book reviews). We already had gratitude and a service-to-others m.o. with our current staff of 58 so these “little extras” seemed more like a honing of our existing way or operating and helped create more clarity around our inside, as well as, outside communications. I wouldn’t recommend for someone starting from a environment that’s gratitude-deprive, it would surely back fire as disingenuous. It would be great for a new start up business or team that wants to put as much heart as they do mind into team building efforts.
November 23, 2024
1. gratitude should be one of the top items in any business (and personal life)
2. Solicit and act on input
3. assume positive intent
4. walk in their shoes
5. look for small wins
6. give thanks now and give it often, tailor it to the individual
7. keep a gratitude journal, give undivided attention, give immediate feedback to family members
8. be more grateful to spouse
9. be grateful for obstacles
10. teach kids to give, serve others and write letters of appreciation
11. It's not joy that makes us grateful, it's gratitude that makes us joyful
2. Solicit and act on input
3. assume positive intent
4. walk in their shoes
5. look for small wins
6. give thanks now and give it often, tailor it to the individual
7. keep a gratitude journal, give undivided attention, give immediate feedback to family members
8. be more grateful to spouse
9. be grateful for obstacles
10. teach kids to give, serve others and write letters of appreciation
11. It's not joy that makes us grateful, it's gratitude that makes us joyful
April 30, 2022
We all need to reflect on and share more gratitude. There is a lot going on in this world, we have full plates, rush between events, read devastating news yet there are so many great things happening that we can focus on.
this book shares some great ideas for sharing gratitude - thank you notes, a gratitude journal, encouraging peer to peer gratitude and family specific practices to make everyone appreciate each other.
this book shares some great ideas for sharing gratitude - thank you notes, a gratitude journal, encouraging peer to peer gratitude and family specific practices to make everyone appreciate each other.
August 4, 2020
3.5 Stars.
Solid principles that never get dissected deeper than surface level. There’s the argument that gratitude is simple (and that’s no doubt where part of its power comes from) but quoting the same collection of CEO’s throughout the book and giving more anecdotes than research makes it seem more frivolous than its truths are.
Solid principles that never get dissected deeper than surface level. There’s the argument that gratitude is simple (and that’s no doubt where part of its power comes from) but quoting the same collection of CEO’s throughout the book and giving more anecdotes than research makes it seem more frivolous than its truths are.
December 27, 2021
Pretty good book. Will probably use some of the practices in my daily life. Only qualms were that it comes across a little too cultish. Anytime someone is being referred to as a guru or life coach, I start having trouble taking their message seriously. None the less, all marketing qualms aside, many of the “core concepts” are probably worth trying.
February 23, 2025
If you’re leading a team, this is a great reminder of the power of authentic gratitude. It helps dispel myths and gets us away from some of our negative biases about expressing gratitude.
If you like leadership authors like Brené Brown or Kouzes and Posner, this will be right up your alley, dad jokes and all!
If you like leadership authors like Brené Brown or Kouzes and Posner, this will be right up your alley, dad jokes and all!
March 26, 2020
Very nice read. Had some great advice with supportive stories and examples. Several of the jokes and accounts were either cheesy, felt dated, or both, but the underlying message still shone through. I can see applying some of the methods to my everyday life, both professionally and personally.
April 13, 2020
An important leadership behaviour that could have been significantly condensed into a much shorter book. There were some good stories throughout to demonstrate the application of gratitude in practice.
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