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189 pages, Kindle Edition
First published March 21, 2019






"Are you calling my cock my brain?"
"Isn't that usually what men think with?" she retorts.
"Not all the time," I defend. "It's cock, stomach and then brain."

"I'm going to make myself a sandwich, you want one?" She calls over her shoulder. Ladies and gentlemen, I've just found the woman of my dreams.
"Furniture is a funny word. I love that too. Do you think that the word road is pronounced weird…? It should be ro-ad. I love words, they're nice."

"It snows in Boston. It's hot as sweaty balls in Arizona and it rains in Seattle."
Normally, he's eating healthy and on balanced diet, but when he's hungover, he will gorge out on all the good stuff.

"You sound like a Hallmark card, are you still drunk?"

"And hot as balls, don't forget the hot as balls part."
"Like a sweaty arm pit."
"Molten lava."
"Like a sauna."

"You guys are baseball players; you have to run those bases as if you’re chasing a fast moving cupcake."

"Yes, dear." He says placating me.
"Ah, look you're learning. You're definitely going to be a good husband if you can remember those two words."
