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The Journals of Dylan Klebold and Eric Harris: Columbine Killers Diaries
This 210 paged book contains both journals written by Dylan Klebold and Eric Harris along with a side by side transcript for easier reading. Both journals span two years leading up to what became America’s worst high school shooting in U.S. history of its time. When both teenagers went on a shooting spree at Columbine High School in Littleton, Colorado, killing 13 people and wounding more than 20 others before turning their guns on themselves and committing suicide.Contained in these journals are their plans of how they envisioned killing as many as 500 students, before going on to attack neighbouring homes. As well was as an eerie plan to hijack a jet and crash it in New York. Also included are some of Eric’s internet writing and the infamous ‘Basement tapes’ transcripts partly recorded 30 minutes before their terrible killing spree.
210 pages, Paperback
Published January 22, 2019
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January 14, 2021
I love this book and have a LOT to say on the duo. Seeing into the minds of Dylan Klebold and Eric Harris is crazy interesting.
FOR THOSE WITHOUT THE BOOK: I've already read a great deal about the duo on the Internet, and so I came to realize that I'd already read this book's Basement Tapes and Eric's journal online. Point is, you don't NEED this book to learn about Eric and Dylan. But it's a really helpful source with everything compiled together and a helpful transcription (Eric and Dylan sometimes write in illegible chicken scratch).
ANYWAY, NOW, my observations, thoughts, feelings, theories -
1) I feel so soul-crushingly bad after reading Dylan's journal. His was particularly hard to read because it felt so private and personal, unlike Eric's, which was clearly written with flourish for an audience. Dylan is a lovelorn, desperate teenage boy with thoughts of suicide and depression.
He hates himself. His journal is riddled with dissociative (and kind of laughable) poetry, talk of "halcyons," poorly drawn hearts and "I love you, I love you, I love you"... He talks of love the whole time. He details various confessions to private "loves" of his, saying these confessions are for her eyes only. They are unrequited. He mentions how he might possibly find love after 'this life' with a girl who he does not yet know. Surprisingly, he is not bitter about any of the girls who don't love him back; he is gentle.
In all, it was hard to take.
2) Eric is a little harder to decipher than Dylan because I get the sense he's lying about many things, even in his journal.
I've heard that psychiatrists diagnosed him as a sociopath post mortem, which is very possible, since he possessed very obvious sociopathic traits. But he also gives me reason to hesitate. Many of Eric's statements and actions contradict the things he says. For example, he claims to not care about anyone in the world 'except 5 people' (this number, too, fluctuates vastly throughout), but then he reveals that on the day of the shooting, he must 'force himself to view everyone as a Doom character' so that he won't 'give into sympathy and remorse.' Uh, ok. He does claim to not be a sociopath though. He also shows a lot of empathy regarding his parents and friends during the final few tapes, noting how upset and shocked they must feel, how nothing is their fault, and more.
Eric also claims to be a 'huge racist', and I agree that some of this has basis in reality, but from his statements, a lot of it just seems hyperbolized to be edgy and 'different' from the norm, which consists of the people he despises. Every time Eric claims to be racist, he describes hating black people, Asians, etc., but then also goes on to say he hates white people, et cetera et cetera., all the way until he has named every kind of race and human. I suspect Eric mostly just hates PEOPLE but wants to seem more edgy and dangerous, making him latch onto this hatred of historically oppressed races, which is frowned upon by society. Keep in mind that this is the very society Eric despises, so, given his character, why WOULDN'T he want to seem in direct opposition to them?
Eric also tries to be shocking by throwing in the word "rapist" when describing himself and his fantasies, but we know that a) he died a virgin, like Dylan, b) he had so many opportunities to rape a woman, esp. with his imminent death, and yet he did not, c) he connected sex and violence very much - his discussion of sex literally led into his discussion of violence. I believe Eric liked to THINK himself so (destructively) bold and (toxically) dominant and dangerous, but he was not. Plus, from stories of the ways he actually interacted with women, namely those whom he did not curse for rejecting him (read online), it seems he may have gone on to be a decent husband/boyfriend HAD he forgone the Columbine shooting and gone on to live a normal life.
The part where Eric brushes aside tears during the Basement Tapes will always haunt me.
3) I loved reading all the details of the bands and songs the two listened to. I was surprisingly familiar with a lot of the references, like Nine Inch Nails, L7, KMFDM, etc. I suppose this does not bode well, lol. (Jokes aside, I am not a believer that music makes a person violent.) I was confused to see Eric mention Smashing Pumpkins in a list; it looked like a shopping list, and I read somewhere online that Eric apparently hated the Smashing Pumpkins. So, I don't know whether I've misinterpreted the purpose of the list (it was really unclear), whether the Internet comment failed me, or anything else.
3) Dylan and Eric are honestly so cringy at many parts. Especially Eric, given the things he says are often just very "angsty teenager." The two jump to conclusions like kangaroos, it's true.
4) Though the two left many victims in their wake, they are very much victims of many things themselves. For example, one of the top contenders is toxic masculinity. I am inclined to believe that this was one of the biggest subconscious motivators in their actions, mental illness as well. Dylan and Eric themselves did not know it, but it is clear as day to an observer. Eric constantly talks about how he can't get laid, how he is said to look weird and wished he was complimented, and was apparently only 5'6.5" at autopsy (from an online source). He also needed guns and ammunition to assert his masculinity, and more. Dylan, also, suffered from expectations thrust on males - his "loves" were never requited, he was also a virgin, he self-declares that he was bad at sports, and he clearly also needed guns to assert his masculinity. He also briefly mentions that he had a foot fetish and was into BDSM, likely the submissive role (given that foot fetishes are submissive), and he likely was insecure about that.
ANYWAYS - I've said too much, although I could say more. Many died in the Columbine shooting, Dylan and Eric among them, and I feel sorriest for them.
I am glad to add this book to my library. I do want to note though that the book has MANY typos in the transcriptions, so be aware of that.
FOR THOSE WITHOUT THE BOOK: I've already read a great deal about the duo on the Internet, and so I came to realize that I'd already read this book's Basement Tapes and Eric's journal online. Point is, you don't NEED this book to learn about Eric and Dylan. But it's a really helpful source with everything compiled together and a helpful transcription (Eric and Dylan sometimes write in illegible chicken scratch).
ANYWAY, NOW, my observations, thoughts, feelings, theories -
1) I feel so soul-crushingly bad after reading Dylan's journal. His was particularly hard to read because it felt so private and personal, unlike Eric's, which was clearly written with flourish for an audience. Dylan is a lovelorn, desperate teenage boy with thoughts of suicide and depression.
He hates himself. His journal is riddled with dissociative (and kind of laughable) poetry, talk of "halcyons," poorly drawn hearts and "I love you, I love you, I love you"... He talks of love the whole time. He details various confessions to private "loves" of his, saying these confessions are for her eyes only. They are unrequited. He mentions how he might possibly find love after 'this life' with a girl who he does not yet know. Surprisingly, he is not bitter about any of the girls who don't love him back; he is gentle.
In all, it was hard to take.
2) Eric is a little harder to decipher than Dylan because I get the sense he's lying about many things, even in his journal.
I've heard that psychiatrists diagnosed him as a sociopath post mortem, which is very possible, since he possessed very obvious sociopathic traits. But he also gives me reason to hesitate. Many of Eric's statements and actions contradict the things he says. For example, he claims to not care about anyone in the world 'except 5 people' (this number, too, fluctuates vastly throughout), but then he reveals that on the day of the shooting, he must 'force himself to view everyone as a Doom character' so that he won't 'give into sympathy and remorse.' Uh, ok. He does claim to not be a sociopath though. He also shows a lot of empathy regarding his parents and friends during the final few tapes, noting how upset and shocked they must feel, how nothing is their fault, and more.
Eric also claims to be a 'huge racist', and I agree that some of this has basis in reality, but from his statements, a lot of it just seems hyperbolized to be edgy and 'different' from the norm, which consists of the people he despises. Every time Eric claims to be racist, he describes hating black people, Asians, etc., but then also goes on to say he hates white people, et cetera et cetera., all the way until he has named every kind of race and human. I suspect Eric mostly just hates PEOPLE but wants to seem more edgy and dangerous, making him latch onto this hatred of historically oppressed races, which is frowned upon by society. Keep in mind that this is the very society Eric despises, so, given his character, why WOULDN'T he want to seem in direct opposition to them?
Eric also tries to be shocking by throwing in the word "rapist" when describing himself and his fantasies, but we know that a) he died a virgin, like Dylan, b) he had so many opportunities to rape a woman, esp. with his imminent death, and yet he did not, c) he connected sex and violence very much - his discussion of sex literally led into his discussion of violence. I believe Eric liked to THINK himself so (destructively) bold and (toxically) dominant and dangerous, but he was not. Plus, from stories of the ways he actually interacted with women, namely those whom he did not curse for rejecting him (read online), it seems he may have gone on to be a decent husband/boyfriend HAD he forgone the Columbine shooting and gone on to live a normal life.
The part where Eric brushes aside tears during the Basement Tapes will always haunt me.
3) I loved reading all the details of the bands and songs the two listened to. I was surprisingly familiar with a lot of the references, like Nine Inch Nails, L7, KMFDM, etc. I suppose this does not bode well, lol. (Jokes aside, I am not a believer that music makes a person violent.) I was confused to see Eric mention Smashing Pumpkins in a list; it looked like a shopping list, and I read somewhere online that Eric apparently hated the Smashing Pumpkins. So, I don't know whether I've misinterpreted the purpose of the list (it was really unclear), whether the Internet comment failed me, or anything else.
3) Dylan and Eric are honestly so cringy at many parts. Especially Eric, given the things he says are often just very "angsty teenager." The two jump to conclusions like kangaroos, it's true.
4) Though the two left many victims in their wake, they are very much victims of many things themselves. For example, one of the top contenders is toxic masculinity. I am inclined to believe that this was one of the biggest subconscious motivators in their actions, mental illness as well. Dylan and Eric themselves did not know it, but it is clear as day to an observer. Eric constantly talks about how he can't get laid, how he is said to look weird and wished he was complimented, and was apparently only 5'6.5" at autopsy (from an online source). He also needed guns and ammunition to assert his masculinity, and more. Dylan, also, suffered from expectations thrust on males - his "loves" were never requited, he was also a virgin, he self-declares that he was bad at sports, and he clearly also needed guns to assert his masculinity. He also briefly mentions that he had a foot fetish and was into BDSM, likely the submissive role (given that foot fetishes are submissive), and he likely was insecure about that.
ANYWAYS - I've said too much, although I could say more. Many died in the Columbine shooting, Dylan and Eric among them, and I feel sorriest for them.
I am glad to add this book to my library. I do want to note though that the book has MANY typos in the transcriptions, so be aware of that.
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March 24, 2022I don't really want to rate this, as is it full of disgusting comments. TW: racism, homophobia, suicide, bombs, armed shootings, idealisation of nazis and Hitler. however, I read this for an assignment for university and it definitely provided me with a lot of information and perspective to include in my essay
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January 25, 2024Auch kb den jungs Sterne zu geben weil mies antisemitischer Inhalt drin ist, aber auch interessant
January 18, 2021
This was a very interesting read, as the Columbine killers have been a subject of interest to me for a while now. The book provides a disturbing yet eye-opening insight into the darkest traits that the youth of society can possess, and when left unchecked, can lead to nasty consequences. I particularly enjoyed the unaltered "as is" style of portrayal, as events like these are often better told through the perpetrator's words in verbatim rather than a recount based upon panicked survivors with many complications hindering accuracy. Would definitely recommend to any and all true crime fans.
April 29, 2019
A Sad, eerie, yet compellingly reflective and somehow quite spine tingling book containing the diary entries of the Columbine killers, Dylan Klebold and Eric Harris.
Very poignantly released in what is the 20th anniversary year of the massacre.
Well compiled and a must have for anyone with an interest in criminal psychology.
Very poignantly released in what is the 20th anniversary year of the massacre.
Well compiled and a must have for anyone with an interest in criminal psychology.
April 29, 2024
This is why we need mental health awareness. Reading through this you can see the need for somebody to step in. No amount of “masking” should’ve stopped people from seeing there was an issue with these two. Both, troubled and in need of intensive therapy, together was a volatile combination for tragedy.
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December 21, 2021I won’t be rating this for obvious reasons. However, this was disturbing to say the least
September 7, 2022
Its the first time I read the entirety of his diary entries and its fun to see him devolve into generic rants about doom and racial relations. The perspective offered became very common more so for any american that was an autistic forum user in y2k but its still unique compared to what came before and after. Culture of Harris is dead because Harris got to do the most miniscule fragment of his fantasies, not like he cared though. More authors should pick up the goal of integrating Columbine into Anglomerican philosophy mythos, it would be nice to talk more about a generation that wanted to destroy all human life because they were raised in an enviroment of grand narratives and grand projects. Americans had their space stations and ww2 and Oklahoma Bombing so they wanted totalities and struggle, they all become bona fide national socialist germans which was great, yet nobody wants to have that talk and that generation will soon depart from us.
December 8, 2022
Fantastic information, I always find the mind’s of these sorts of people intriguing, so to have all that I can transcribed in this book is great… however, there are very obvious and silly spelling errors, punctuation errors and a lot of - pointsin thebook - where the writer seems to have forgotten about the space bar. I can understand some mistakes due to handwriting being difficult to understand, but when looking between the real writing and the transcription, I could see that a lot of silly mistakes could have been avoided as the words were clear enough in the actual writing.
Regardless of this, it was a great book that had my full attention the entire way through.
Regardless of this, it was a great book that had my full attention the entire way through.
May 21, 2022
Great if you don’t want to dig for every journal entry online of Eric and Dylan’s. Also translated all of the entries just incase you can’t read their handwriting. Giving 4 stars because there were some errors in the translation. :)
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April 20, 2025 nice family, a good house, food, a couple of good friends, & possessions. What’s bad — no girls (friends or girlfriends), no other friends except a few, nobody accepting me even though I want to be accepted, me doing badly & being intimidated in any & all sports, me looking weird & acting shy — BIG problem, me getting bad grades, having no ambition of life, that’s the big shit. Anyway ... I was Mr. Cutter tonight — I have 11 depressioners on my right hand now, & my favorite contrasting symbol, because it is so true & means so much.4 The battle between good & bad never ends ... OK enough bitchin ... well I’m not done yet. OK go ... I don’t know why I do wrong with people (mainly women) — it’s like they are set out to hate & ignore me, I never know what to say or do. is soo fuckin lucky he has no idea how I suffer. Okay here’s some poetry.... this is a display of one man [?] in search of answers, never finding them, yet in hopelessness understands things ... Existence. . . . what a strange word. He set out by determination & curiosity, knows no existence, knows nothing relevant to himself. The petty declarations of others & everything on this world, in this world, he knows the answers to. Yet they have no purpose to him. He seeks knowledge of the unthinkable, of the undefineable, of the unknown. He explores the everything5 ... using his mind, the most powerful tool known to him. Not a physical barrier blocking the limits of exploration, time thru thought thru dimensions . . . the everything is his realm. Yet, the more he thinks, hoping to find answers to his questions, the more come up. Amazingly, the petty things mean much to him at this time, how he wants to be normal, not this transceiver of the everything. Then occurring to him, the answer. How everything is connected yet separate. By experiencing the petty others actions, reactions, emotions, doings, and thoughts, he gets a mental picture of what, in his mind, is a cycle. Existence is a great hall, life is one of the rooms, death is passing thru the doors, & the everexistent compulsion of everything is the curiosity to keep moving down the hall, thru the doors, exploring rooms, down this never-ending hall. Questions make answers, answers conceive questions, and at long last he is content. TTYL [talk to you later] <<–VoDkA–>> -4-15-97
Thoughtz Yo . . . whassup . . . heheheheh . . . know what’s weird? Everyone knows everyone. I swear — like I’m an outcast, & everyone is conspiring against me ... Check it ... (this isn’t good, but I need to write, so here. .. . Within the known limits of time . . . within the conceived boundaries of space . . . the average human thinks those are the settings of existence . . . yet the ponderer, the outcast, the believer, helps out the human. “Think not of 2 dimensions,” says the ponderer, “but of 3, as your world is conceived of 3 dimensions, so is mine. While you explore the immediate physical boundaries of your body, you see in your 3 dimensions — L, W, & H, yet I, who is more mentally open to anything, see my 3 dimensions. My realm of thought — Time, Space, & THOUGHT. Thought is the most powerful thing that exists — anything conceivable can be produced, anything & everything is possible, even in your physical world.” After this so called “lecture” the common man feels confused, empty, & unaware. Yet those are the best emotions of a ponderer. The real difference is, a true ponderer will explore these emotions & what caused them. Another .. . a dream. Miles & miles of never ending grass, like a wheat. A farm, sunshine, a happy feeling in the presence, Absolutely nothing wrong, nothing ever is, contrary 180 [degrees] to normal life. No awareness, just pure bliss, unexplainable bliss, The only challenges are no challenge, & then... . BAM!!! realization sets in, the world is the greatest punishment. Life. Hypnosis place — It is a sky — with one large cloud, & sort of a cloud-made chair — the sun is at the head of the chair .. . 10 o’clock up into the sky .. . Below, I sometimes see mist, & the green (forest green) earth — sorta a city, yet I hear nothing. I relax on this chair — actually like a chaise — & I am talking . . . to what? I don’t know — it’s just there, I have the feeling that I know him, even though I consciously don’t . . . & we talk like we are the same person — like he’s my soul... . The everlasting contrast....Dark. Light. God. Lucifer. Heaven. Hell. GOOD. BAD. Yes, the ever-lasting contrast.
Thoughtz Yo . . . whassup . . . heheheheh . . . know what’s weird? Everyone knows everyone. I swear — like I’m an outcast, & everyone is conspiring against me ... Check it ... (this isn’t good, but I need to write, so here. .. . Within the known limits of time . . . within the conceived boundaries of space . . . the average human thinks those are the settings of existence . . . yet the ponderer, the outcast, the believer, helps out the human. “Think not of 2 dimensions,” says the ponderer, “but of 3, as your world is conceived of 3 dimensions, so is mine. While you explore the immediate physical boundaries of your body, you see in your 3 dimensions — L, W, & H, yet I, who is more mentally open to anything, see my 3 dimensions. My realm of thought — Time, Space, & THOUGHT. Thought is the most powerful thing that exists — anything conceivable can be produced, anything & everything is possible, even in your physical world.” After this so called “lecture” the common man feels confused, empty, & unaware. Yet those are the best emotions of a ponderer. The real difference is, a true ponderer will explore these emotions & what caused them. Another .. . a dream. Miles & miles of never ending grass, like a wheat. A farm, sunshine, a happy feeling in the presence, Absolutely nothing wrong, nothing ever is, contrary 180 [degrees] to normal life. No awareness, just pure bliss, unexplainable bliss, The only challenges are no challenge, & then... . BAM!!! realization sets in, the world is the greatest punishment. Life. Hypnosis place — It is a sky — with one large cloud, & sort of a cloud-made chair — the sun is at the head of the chair .. . 10 o’clock up into the sky .. . Below, I sometimes see mist, & the green (forest green) earth — sorta a city, yet I hear nothing. I relax on this chair — actually like a chaise — & I am talking . . . to what? I don’t know — it’s just there, I have the feeling that I know him, even though I consciously don’t . . . & we talk like we are the same person — like he’s my soul... . The everlasting contrast....Dark. Light. God. Lucifer. Heaven. Hell. GOOD. BAD. Yes, the ever-lasting contrast.
August 16, 2025
I recommend reading this journal before reading any other books made about columbine, or any documentaries. These journal entries show you a glimpse of who these boys were on the inside. It showed their personal thoughts and feelings, months, weeks, days, hours leading up to the shooting. We all know Dylan Klebold and Eric Harris were murderers… but these journals also show us that they were human. Humans who were struggling mentally in their personal lives and their school life. Which is NOT EVER an excuse to kill anyone, ever. But it helps us understand the HOW and the WHY this awful day in history happened.
Dylan suffered severe depression. His journal entries talked mainly about how he just wanted to find someone to love him. He was lonely. Abandoned by his best friend, had no girlfriend, no love. He was desperate to find a woman to love him, and to find true love. Yes, he was also angry about other things in the world. But I believe if he had found what he was looking for… this shooting may not have happened. At least without his participation.
Eric’s journal entries showed nothing but RAGE. He was angry at the world. Hated everyone and everything around him. Every single entry was written with anger. Foul language. He was prejudice and racist. (Although yes, Dylan talked this way a little too, but it seemed to have been fueled by Eric’s beliefs). I’m unsure of what could’ve made Eric change his mind if there ever was the possibility of a chance.
I would also like to note that both boys wrote about being bullied, misunderstood, felt like nobody respected them and also claimed that people called them ugly and weird looking. Neither ever had a girlfriend. Dylan looked for love. Eric wanted to just get laid.
BEING BULLIED OR INVOLUNTARILY CELIBATE IS NEVER AN EXCUSE TO HURT OR KILL ANYONE. This simply helps us under the “WHY” and the “HOW.” It’s sad that no one noticed the red flags. It’s sad that they didn’t get the help they truly needed. This whole thing was preventable, even though they claim it wasn’t.
I also found in strange that they so casually talked about killing themselves… like “oh I just have 2 weeks left here on earth.”
This book also discusses the basement tapes as well, which I found interesting cause I’ve always wondered what those were about. I know there’s no way for any of us to watch these tapes. But I’m not sure why. Why is it okay to explain in detail regarding what was in each time, in writing, but not actually listen to the tapes ourselves?
Anyway. I’m off to dig deeper into the rabbit hole.
Dylan suffered severe depression. His journal entries talked mainly about how he just wanted to find someone to love him. He was lonely. Abandoned by his best friend, had no girlfriend, no love. He was desperate to find a woman to love him, and to find true love. Yes, he was also angry about other things in the world. But I believe if he had found what he was looking for… this shooting may not have happened. At least without his participation.
Eric’s journal entries showed nothing but RAGE. He was angry at the world. Hated everyone and everything around him. Every single entry was written with anger. Foul language. He was prejudice and racist. (Although yes, Dylan talked this way a little too, but it seemed to have been fueled by Eric’s beliefs). I’m unsure of what could’ve made Eric change his mind if there ever was the possibility of a chance.
I would also like to note that both boys wrote about being bullied, misunderstood, felt like nobody respected them and also claimed that people called them ugly and weird looking. Neither ever had a girlfriend. Dylan looked for love. Eric wanted to just get laid.
BEING BULLIED OR INVOLUNTARILY CELIBATE IS NEVER AN EXCUSE TO HURT OR KILL ANYONE. This simply helps us under the “WHY” and the “HOW.” It’s sad that no one noticed the red flags. It’s sad that they didn’t get the help they truly needed. This whole thing was preventable, even though they claim it wasn’t.
I also found in strange that they so casually talked about killing themselves… like “oh I just have 2 weeks left here on earth.”
This book also discusses the basement tapes as well, which I found interesting cause I’ve always wondered what those were about. I know there’s no way for any of us to watch these tapes. But I’m not sure why. Why is it okay to explain in detail regarding what was in each time, in writing, but not actually listen to the tapes ourselves?
Anyway. I’m off to dig deeper into the rabbit hole.
October 20, 2024
I have a plethora of thoughts when it comes to not just this book, but the likes of Dylan Klebold and Eric Harris as a whole. They're an infamous duo who - despite their infamy - I don't believe we will ever have a perfect psychological profile for or understanding of. However, I will save most of my thoughts about this for when I read Dave Cullen's Columbine, and instead focus on what we have been provided in the journal entries within this text.
It is also important to note that while this book focuses on their journals, not all of their journal entries are present within this book; in other words, this is not a complete collection. Additionally, there are also many typos within the translated excerpts of their writings.
Dylan Klebold's Entries
Dylan's entries are surprisingly depressing and intimate. Rather than droning on and on about anger and violence as Eric Harris does, a majority of his writings are fixed on his suicidal tendencies and hopeless romanticism for several girls in his class, with one girl catching his fancy in particular and taking up many of these entries. Between stanzas of (honestly) terrible poetry, pseudo-philosophical ramblings, and lengthy discussions of suicide, you get the sense that he is a very depressed young man who has a fixation for a girl that (in my opinion) appears to borderline on erotomanic psychosis. While there are sections in which he does discuss violence and his intention to hurt others, it doesn't appear to be on his mind half as much as it does Eric's.
Eric Harris' Entries
Eric's entries are a stark contrast when compared to Dylan's. Where Dylan is depressed and suicidal, Eric appears to be vengeful and homicidal. However, I am of the opinion that Eric's journal entries aren't wholly transparent and instead give us an insight on the character he was creating for an audience rather than who he really was as a person (though I do believe there is some truth to his ramblings).
I found Eric's writings to be a lot less sympathetic, which I believe was his intent. He wanted to be seen as the leader of the two, with no tragic backstory as to why he did what he did. He wanted to be viewed as being violent just for the hell of it, and unfortunately, research into Columbine shows that he's mostly gotten his wish. Racist and antisemitic language drips from his entries (which is ironic if you consider the fact that Dylan was Jewish); speaking of Dylan, Eric primarily refers to the two of them by their code names: Reb and VoDKa. This leads to me believing even more that he's authoring an unreliable take on what he truly thinks and feels, projecting them all onto a fictionalized version of himself.
Ultimately, Columbine is a tragedy. I want to make it clear that simply finding interest in these two does not mean I condone or support their actions. Columbine is an event that should've never occurred, but unfortunately had and has continued to influence further acts of violence. To research these events is to understand how to better handle and avoid them continuing in the future.
It is also important to note that while this book focuses on their journals, not all of their journal entries are present within this book; in other words, this is not a complete collection. Additionally, there are also many typos within the translated excerpts of their writings.
Dylan Klebold's Entries
Dylan's entries are surprisingly depressing and intimate. Rather than droning on and on about anger and violence as Eric Harris does, a majority of his writings are fixed on his suicidal tendencies and hopeless romanticism for several girls in his class, with one girl catching his fancy in particular and taking up many of these entries. Between stanzas of (honestly) terrible poetry, pseudo-philosophical ramblings, and lengthy discussions of suicide, you get the sense that he is a very depressed young man who has a fixation for a girl that (in my opinion) appears to borderline on erotomanic psychosis. While there are sections in which he does discuss violence and his intention to hurt others, it doesn't appear to be on his mind half as much as it does Eric's.
Eric Harris' Entries
Eric's entries are a stark contrast when compared to Dylan's. Where Dylan is depressed and suicidal, Eric appears to be vengeful and homicidal. However, I am of the opinion that Eric's journal entries aren't wholly transparent and instead give us an insight on the character he was creating for an audience rather than who he really was as a person (though I do believe there is some truth to his ramblings).
I found Eric's writings to be a lot less sympathetic, which I believe was his intent. He wanted to be seen as the leader of the two, with no tragic backstory as to why he did what he did. He wanted to be viewed as being violent just for the hell of it, and unfortunately, research into Columbine shows that he's mostly gotten his wish. Racist and antisemitic language drips from his entries (which is ironic if you consider the fact that Dylan was Jewish); speaking of Dylan, Eric primarily refers to the two of them by their code names: Reb and VoDKa. This leads to me believing even more that he's authoring an unreliable take on what he truly thinks and feels, projecting them all onto a fictionalized version of himself.
Ultimately, Columbine is a tragedy. I want to make it clear that simply finding interest in these two does not mean I condone or support their actions. Columbine is an event that should've never occurred, but unfortunately had and has continued to influence further acts of violence. To research these events is to understand how to better handle and avoid them continuing in the future.
March 31, 2023
Appreciated the transcription pages; high school boys’ penmanship often leaves a lot to be desired.
From this collection, you get a “gist” of the personalities of the kids who ushered us into the “new age” of mass killings—schools, theaters, parades—where we still founder today.
I had to put down the “Harris” section of the book—his anger was a little much to take in. It must’ve been horrible having to live in his head without relief for as long as he did. I’m surprised he made it to age 18.
I found that the best part of the book was a transcription of a portion of the basement tapes, where both killers interact with each other; you could get a sense of how their ultimate reprisal was a result of their codependency on the personality of the other. I would’ve liked to have read more of that.
Otherwise, I would’ve liked to see some explanations of the sketches and drawings included, and maybe some clarification on abbreviations the murderers used in their writings. A footnote or 2 explaining current events mentioned in the writings would have benefited the reader immensely
Overall, a decent book—a base to start a more in-depth study from
From this collection, you get a “gist” of the personalities of the kids who ushered us into the “new age” of mass killings—schools, theaters, parades—where we still founder today.
I had to put down the “Harris” section of the book—his anger was a little much to take in. It must’ve been horrible having to live in his head without relief for as long as he did. I’m surprised he made it to age 18.
I found that the best part of the book was a transcription of a portion of the basement tapes, where both killers interact with each other; you could get a sense of how their ultimate reprisal was a result of their codependency on the personality of the other. I would’ve liked to have read more of that.
Otherwise, I would’ve liked to see some explanations of the sketches and drawings included, and maybe some clarification on abbreviations the murderers used in their writings. A footnote or 2 explaining current events mentioned in the writings would have benefited the reader immensely
Overall, a decent book—a base to start a more in-depth study from
September 3, 2023
This book was not quite what I expected. I started reading thinking this would give insight into why the shooters performed such a heinous act, what they were feeling and how that could have contributed to their delusion beliefs. Sadly, that wasn't the case. After reading Dylan's entries, I was able to gain the insight that he clearly struggled with mental illness but there was no way to get a more in-depth look through just his biased journal entries. Eric's entries were even more disturbing. Without a decent explanation or factual bits of information mixed in with his crazed ravings, it's a challenge to make sense of it. The journals are disturbing because the troubled teens believe they are right, that was hard to read through.
I re-read Columbine by Dave Cullen while I was reading this and found all of the background information and facts very helpful. I have also read A Mother's Reckoning by Sue Klebold. I find that those books offer a more in-depth look at who these troubled individuals were in a more widespread, unbiased way.
I re-read Columbine by Dave Cullen while I was reading this and found all of the background information and facts very helpful. I have also read A Mother's Reckoning by Sue Klebold. I find that those books offer a more in-depth look at who these troubled individuals were in a more widespread, unbiased way.
June 11, 2025
dylan wanted to die and didn't care if he killed people in the process, eric wanted to kill people and didn't care if he died in the process. dylan's writings make me especially sad with how desperate he is, whether it be for love or to die, but eric is harder to read, his writings obviously seeming to be a facade to seem edgy. dylan's journal is very private and personal, whereas eric's is intended to be seen by an audience. i truly don't think there was any sort of leader or follower, just a case of two people who never should have crossed paths. neither would have done it without the other. rest in peace to all the lives lost that day.
December 4, 2021
A very interesting read about the minds of the two boys that were behind the massacre of Columbine. It was very morbid and disturbing to read, but I like the aspect of getting inside the minds of psychopaths and trying to understand why people do the things they do, mental health etc.
What Eric Harris and Dylan Klebold did was tragic, and I can’t imagine the pain, PTSD and loss that survivors and the victims families have endured.
I recommend this book for people who are interested in learning more about Columbine and Eric and Dylan.
What Eric Harris and Dylan Klebold did was tragic, and I can’t imagine the pain, PTSD and loss that survivors and the victims families have endured.
I recommend this book for people who are interested in learning more about Columbine and Eric and Dylan.
April 6, 2024
L’un des livres les + durs que j’ai lu déjà le fait que tout soit ecrit en anglais et que je doit traduire chaque phrase 😭. Mais les propos tenus par les auteurs sont a vomirs il y a une part en nous qui a de la peine pour eux et une autre de la haine profonde notamment quand on sait ce qu’ils vont faire après avoir écrit ses textes cela ne change pas le fait que c’est un livre très déprimant qui nous montre la détresse psychologique des auteurs
July 7, 2025
Disturbing, but important.
Reading the Columbine killers’ journals was one of the most unsettling things I’ve ever done — but also one of the most revealing. It’s not about glorifying them. It’s about understanding the warning signs, the mental health crises, the isolation, and the hate that built up long before the tragedy. This gives a raw, ugly, uncomfortable look into a reality we often try to ignore.
Reading the Columbine killers’ journals was one of the most unsettling things I’ve ever done — but also one of the most revealing. It’s not about glorifying them. It’s about understanding the warning signs, the mental health crises, the isolation, and the hate that built up long before the tragedy. This gives a raw, ugly, uncomfortable look into a reality we often try to ignore.
October 1, 2025
this was such an interesting read. it was truly disturbing and very eye-opening experience. i loved being able to see inside the minds of these killers. the translation was a little on the rough side , but i enjoyed the fact that there was a side by side of the entries because they were a little hard to read. i only gave it a four star because there were some issues with the translation , but this is definitely something for anyone who is interested in columbine and school shootings.
January 18, 2022
Hard to say what I feel after my reading.. feel close of them, understanding but cannot excuse what they did. Some words are cruel and not necessary.. but that's how the felt at the moment. Nobody can judge a mental illness.. somebody should have eard their silent scream.
Remember the victims... and Eric and Dylan too they're their first victims.
Remember the victims... and Eric and Dylan too they're their first victims.
Read
June 23, 2022I read the online versions, but lol. The contradictions of Eric Harris is just amazing. He was so deep into himself, he failed to realize the fanboyism he manifested. Dylan Klebold's diaries were just sad. I honestly believe he would had just lived his life if he didn't meet Eric. Eric was warm, humid air and Dylan was cold and dry air, resulting in a full blown Tornado.
January 8, 2023
It’s definitely exciting to get to take a look into the minds of mass murders. Unfortunately names were taken out due to respect to the individuals named but it’s understandable. Also, they wrote out the dialogue on the other side of the journal in order to better interpret some of the scribbles written. Overall a great read.
February 16, 2020
What a horrid book, and culprit sick minds of individuals.
It makes me sick, and phantom these kids were severely ill.
You can easily find this book published online, for free without having to buy it if you are THAT interested in the fantasies and private lives of Klebold and Harris.
It makes me sick, and phantom these kids were severely ill.
You can easily find this book published online, for free without having to buy it if you are THAT interested in the fantasies and private lives of Klebold and Harris.
Read
April 18, 2022A hard read and rating isn’t really possible. Good for a psychological read but only recommend it for people who can objectively read it. TW include self harm, suicide, murder, racism, sexual assault and a whole lot more.
Read
October 4, 2023Eric’s diary was mentally much harder to read than Dylan’s because of his disdain and abhorrence for everyone. It is just tragic that these teenagers were able to get weapons to be able to carry this out.
Read
February 18, 2024Really chilling read. It’s so wild reading their perspectives and just sheer hatred for human beings. Such a disturbing read, but was really interesting to have a look into their thought process and mental instability.
July 9, 2025
The journals said so much about their state of mind and all the hate they had.
I really don't know how to say my thoughts on this book, so I won't because I don't want to say something and it be taken out of context.
What I can say is it was an emotionally difficult book to read.
I really don't know how to say my thoughts on this book, so I won't because I don't want to say something and it be taken out of context.
What I can say is it was an emotionally difficult book to read.
October 27, 2021
Really scary to see the thoughts of these individuals.
June 5, 2022
Very interesting read that’s honestly quite sad all around.
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