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Letters to a Dead Friend about Zen
The night Brad Warner learns that his childhood friend Marky has died, Warner is about to speak to a group of Zen students in Hamburg, Germany. It’s the last thing he feels like doing. What he wants to do instead is tell his friend everything he never said, to explain Zen and what he does for a living and why he spends his time “Sitting. Sitting. Sitting. Meditating my life away as it all passes by. Lighting candles and incense. Bowing to nothing.” So, as he continues his teaching tour through Europe, he writes to his friend all the things he wishes he had said. Simply and humorously, he reflects on why Zen provided him a lifeline in a difficult world. He explores grief, attachment, and the afterlife. He writes to Marky, “I’m not all that interested in Buddhism. I’m much more interested in what is true,” and then proceeds to poke and prod at that truth. The result for readers is a singular and winning meditation on Zen — and a unique tribute to both a life lost and the one Warner has found.
256 pages, Paperback
Published October 8, 2019
43 people are currently reading
251 people want to read
About the author
Brad Warner
22 books596 followersBrad Warner is an ordained Zen Master (though he hates that term) in the Soto lineage founded in Japan by Master Dogen Zenji in the 13th century. He's the bass player for the hardcore punk rock group 0DFx (aka Zero Defex) and the ex-vice president of the Los Angeles office of the company founded by the man who created Godzilla.
Brad was born in Hamilton, Ohio in 1964. In 1972, his family relocated to Nairobi, Kenya. When Brad returned to Wadsworth three years later, nothing about rural Ohio seemed quite the same anymore.
In 1982 Brad joined 0DFx. 0DFx caught the attention of a number of major bands on the hardcore punk scene. But they soon broke up leaving a single eighteen second burst of noise, titled Drop the A-Bomb On Me, as their only recorded legacy on a compilation album called P.E.A.C.E./War.
In 1993, Brad went to Japan to realize a childhood dream to actually work for the people who made low budget Japanese monster movies. To his own astonishment, he landed himself a job with one of Japan's leading producers of man-in-a-rubber-dinosaur-costume giant monster movies.
Back in the early 80s, while still playing hardcore punk, Brad became involved in Zen Buddhism. The realistic, no bullshit philosophy reminded him of the attitude the punks took towards music. Once he got to Japan, he began studying the philosophy with an iconoclastic rebel Zen Master named Gudo Nishijima. After a few years, Nishijima decided to make Brad his successor as a teacher of Zen.
In 2003 he published his first book, "Hardcore Zen: Punk Rock, Monster Movies and the Truth About Reality." In 2007 he followed that up with "Sit Down and Shut Up," a punk-informed look at 13th century Zen Master Dogen. His third book is "Zen Wrapped in Karma Dipped in Chocolate."
Brad was born in Hamilton, Ohio in 1964. In 1972, his family relocated to Nairobi, Kenya. When Brad returned to Wadsworth three years later, nothing about rural Ohio seemed quite the same anymore.
In 1982 Brad joined 0DFx. 0DFx caught the attention of a number of major bands on the hardcore punk scene. But they soon broke up leaving a single eighteen second burst of noise, titled Drop the A-Bomb On Me, as their only recorded legacy on a compilation album called P.E.A.C.E./War.
In 1993, Brad went to Japan to realize a childhood dream to actually work for the people who made low budget Japanese monster movies. To his own astonishment, he landed himself a job with one of Japan's leading producers of man-in-a-rubber-dinosaur-costume giant monster movies.
Back in the early 80s, while still playing hardcore punk, Brad became involved in Zen Buddhism. The realistic, no bullshit philosophy reminded him of the attitude the punks took towards music. Once he got to Japan, he began studying the philosophy with an iconoclastic rebel Zen Master named Gudo Nishijima. After a few years, Nishijima decided to make Brad his successor as a teacher of Zen.
In 2003 he published his first book, "Hardcore Zen: Punk Rock, Monster Movies and the Truth About Reality." In 2007 he followed that up with "Sit Down and Shut Up," a punk-informed look at 13th century Zen Master Dogen. His third book is "Zen Wrapped in Karma Dipped in Chocolate."
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 47 reviews
November 12, 2019
“Zen Buddhism, to me, is an attitude. (…) It’s an attitude that strives for honesty and realism. It rejects superstition. It rejects any kind of rigid belief system. It strives to be ethical because it understands that we are all intimately connected with each other and that hurting others only hurts ourselves. It accepts that rituals are useful but doesn’t believe any ritual has magic powers.”
Is it ironic of me to say, “Amen!” right here?
Brad Warner was in Germany, about to lead a meditation retreat, when he learned that his friend Marky Moon had passed away. He had never discussed his Zen practice with Marky, but now that he was no longer around, he found himself writing down the things he wished he had talked about with him before he died. The result is a uniquely framed “Zen 101” book, that newbies and more experienced Zen nerds will both find informative and entertaining.
The letter format is brilliant, because it gives Warner an opportunity to discuss often complicated and nebulous Buddhist topics in his friendly conversational style, and to give very concrete, everyday life examples that literally anyone can relate to and understand. He’s still a nerd, still a punk and still an irreverent smart-ass, but you’d be missing out if you wrote him off based on that.
As Zen 101 books go, this is a great one, precisely because of how accessible and not intimidating it is. I have recently had a couple of friends who started asking me questions about Zen, and I will happily and confidently put that book in their hands. Warner covers everything you need to know, from the history of Buddhism, the life of the Buddha, the Noble Truths, Eightfold Path, the Precepts and all the basic stuff, but also gives clear information on concepts like attachment, emptiness, karma and discusses the trends in Western Buddhism that he believes people need to be careful about, such as the use of drugs, the activism angle and all the charlatanism that inevitably comes along when something is mainstreamed. He also tackled a couple of slightly less traditional topics that nevertheless need to be addressed: namely, the conversation about Western Buddhism as cultural appropriation, and the rash of scandals within Buddhist communities.
Warner definitely hasn’t lost his touch, and a sane, grounded voice like his is needed more than ever for people getting into Zen, or looking to deepen their practice and take it off their meditation cushion. I can’t recommend this (and all of his books) enough.
Is it ironic of me to say, “Amen!” right here?
Brad Warner was in Germany, about to lead a meditation retreat, when he learned that his friend Marky Moon had passed away. He had never discussed his Zen practice with Marky, but now that he was no longer around, he found himself writing down the things he wished he had talked about with him before he died. The result is a uniquely framed “Zen 101” book, that newbies and more experienced Zen nerds will both find informative and entertaining.
The letter format is brilliant, because it gives Warner an opportunity to discuss often complicated and nebulous Buddhist topics in his friendly conversational style, and to give very concrete, everyday life examples that literally anyone can relate to and understand. He’s still a nerd, still a punk and still an irreverent smart-ass, but you’d be missing out if you wrote him off based on that.
As Zen 101 books go, this is a great one, precisely because of how accessible and not intimidating it is. I have recently had a couple of friends who started asking me questions about Zen, and I will happily and confidently put that book in their hands. Warner covers everything you need to know, from the history of Buddhism, the life of the Buddha, the Noble Truths, Eightfold Path, the Precepts and all the basic stuff, but also gives clear information on concepts like attachment, emptiness, karma and discusses the trends in Western Buddhism that he believes people need to be careful about, such as the use of drugs, the activism angle and all the charlatanism that inevitably comes along when something is mainstreamed. He also tackled a couple of slightly less traditional topics that nevertheless need to be addressed: namely, the conversation about Western Buddhism as cultural appropriation, and the rash of scandals within Buddhist communities.
Warner definitely hasn’t lost his touch, and a sane, grounded voice like his is needed more than ever for people getting into Zen, or looking to deepen their practice and take it off their meditation cushion. I can’t recommend this (and all of his books) enough.
November 10, 2019
Possibly one of his best books. Even though it's fictionalized, there's a real, personal quality to the letters, and it works as a great medium for explaining the concepts he covers. One of the thinks I like most about Brad Warner is that he doesn't try to be an authority - he's just sharing his experience and interpretations, and I think that works much better for getting the message across than ... well, to name a couple of things I've encountered in other people's books, playing word games and using them to do bad philosophy, or introducing a dubious sounding concept and expecting it to be accepted without any further discussion. This is a great overview of modern Zen Buddhism as he sees it, from the basics to the current issues and practices and his take on them. Absolutely worth a read, especially if your only experience with Warner has been his first couple of books.
October 9, 2019
(This is a review that imitates the author's epistolary style)
Dear Brad Warner,
I have a few thoughts about your new book, “Letters to a Dead Friend About Zen.” (They say that imitation is the sincerest form of flattery, so I hope you’ll forgive this clumsy appropriation of your letter-writing style!) The dead friend of the title and the one you write to, Marky, is---well, was—a punk rocker like yourself, a black musician who died of cancer at much too young an age. Your letters build an endearing portrait of the man—and not incidentally of yourself, the letter writer, Soto Zen teacher at the Angel City Zen Center in Los Angeles, filmmaker and bass guitarist as well as an itinerant guest lecturer—and suggest a loving bond between you, an intimacy that it’s nice to be let in on.
Given this relationship, it’s natural that you’d write to him with the slangy familiarity of a couple of musician pals. It’s not my language, so I honestly found it quite difficult to adjust to; I worried, from the start, that it would prove just too hip, even a bit condescending, at least for this reader. But don’t worry. I got over it.
And I found plenty of good stuff. (I hate that word, and wish you wouldn’t use it as much as you do. But then, I use it too, so I’m hardly in a position to complain.) Anyway, I’d like to thank you for a solid introduction to Zen—a branch of the Buddhist tree that has attracted me from afar, but with which I have little familiarity. I did spend a week sitting zazen on Mt. Baldy in the early days of my own Buddhist education, but that was long ago. I branched off elsewhere.
What I like particularly is that you do not make it easy. There are a zillion books out there that make Buddhism in all its forms sound like an easy answer to life’s many problems—and we have enough of them, in this contemporary world! Meditation and mindfulness are all the rage, and there’s no shortage of people—including those in the book-publishing business—who are all too happy to cash in on it. You make no such promises. On the contrary, you stress constantly that the practice of Zen is a long, hard road, and one that requires dedication, determination, and years of hard work. I like that you revert frequently to the example of your own life and admit freely to your failings along the way as well as your successes. Buddhism is no sinecure.
I share your distrust of easy answers, and of teachers who offer them. I share your skepticism when it comes to religions and putative gods of all kinds. Your practical, no-nonsense approach to the conundrums with which life and death confront us appeals to my own learned sense of what I hope is healthy pragmatism. When it comes to the unanswerable questions, you honor the beliefs of others with the proper respect, but test them out with astute critical analysis.
I like that you are unafraid to tackle the unanswerable questions, however, and that you do not make light of the sometimes difficult and confusing concepts that Buddhism requires us to address. You do so forthrightly, and with both humility and clarity. Humility when it comes to not claiming to possess the right, or the only answers; clarity in being able to write about those concepts so that we can understand them. Most of us have a hard time with the Heart Sutra, for example: “form is emptiness, emptiness is form.” A conundrum, if ever there was one, not unlike other widely misunderstood or easily diluted concepts like no-self.. Rather than offering explanations, your clarity seems to offer us a way to get in on the secret, helping us to be comfortable with paradox and contradiction, to be open to meaning even when it’s hard to come to a rational understanding.
I like that you are knowledgeable about other branches of the Buddhist tree than Zen, and that you are able to bring that knowledge to bare sparingly, and appropriately. That you can refer us without pretension to literary sources and other fields of thought, providing us with historical, religious and philosophical context. I like that you share your obvious familiarity with many of the colorful characters who have followed in the Buddha’s path, and that you write about them with humorous affection for their foibles. That you make them come as alive for us as they seem to be for you.
I feel obliged to add that there’s some iffy stuff (that word again!) The big one is the reveal that comes at the end of your book, where your very last sentence reads, “And I apologize for lying to you.” Yes. You lied. I won’t be more specific because that would be a spoiler and I want other people to read your book. But I have to say that your last letter, this one addressed not to Marky but to your “Dear Readers,” felt like a slap in the face. You wrote eloquently about the Buddha’s Eightfold Path, one element of which is Right Speech; and about the precepts common to all branches of Buddhism, one of the most basic of which is the injunction: “Don’t lie.” So when I read that you’d been lying to me all along, I was pretty much outraged. Having been taken in by it all I quite honestly felt betrayed…
But then my outrage made me think again. Perhaps I should think of this slap-in-the-face as a kind of Zen wake-up call. Do they still use the keisaku in the zendo, that rod they smack across your shoulders in zazen when you get sloppy or sleepy? Or do contemporary Western sensibilities forbid that kind of physical correction? Anyway, that’s how it felt. So maybe I should read your whole book as a kind of Zen koan, one of those stories you also write about, the kind that often ends with the teacher rewarding the student with a nasty jab—or a kick in the pants—as the inscrutable answer to some absurd, unanswerable question. To jolt him past the quagmire of doubts and questions into enlightenment. Perhaps I needed this reminder, at the end of your book, of the Buddha’s injunction not to take anything for granted, to distrust even teachers, to distrust even his great wisdom, and return to the evidence of my own eyes, my own tested experience. Perhaps I needed that shock to remind me that it all comes back to the present moment.
Which is after all why we learn to just sit. So, okay, thanks, Brad. I enjoyed your sometimes perilous travels in Europe too. And your book is a good read, a good reminder. So, ta-ta for now. Be well. Your friend, Peter
Dear Brad Warner,
I have a few thoughts about your new book, “Letters to a Dead Friend About Zen.” (They say that imitation is the sincerest form of flattery, so I hope you’ll forgive this clumsy appropriation of your letter-writing style!) The dead friend of the title and the one you write to, Marky, is---well, was—a punk rocker like yourself, a black musician who died of cancer at much too young an age. Your letters build an endearing portrait of the man—and not incidentally of yourself, the letter writer, Soto Zen teacher at the Angel City Zen Center in Los Angeles, filmmaker and bass guitarist as well as an itinerant guest lecturer—and suggest a loving bond between you, an intimacy that it’s nice to be let in on.
Given this relationship, it’s natural that you’d write to him with the slangy familiarity of a couple of musician pals. It’s not my language, so I honestly found it quite difficult to adjust to; I worried, from the start, that it would prove just too hip, even a bit condescending, at least for this reader. But don’t worry. I got over it.
And I found plenty of good stuff. (I hate that word, and wish you wouldn’t use it as much as you do. But then, I use it too, so I’m hardly in a position to complain.) Anyway, I’d like to thank you for a solid introduction to Zen—a branch of the Buddhist tree that has attracted me from afar, but with which I have little familiarity. I did spend a week sitting zazen on Mt. Baldy in the early days of my own Buddhist education, but that was long ago. I branched off elsewhere.
What I like particularly is that you do not make it easy. There are a zillion books out there that make Buddhism in all its forms sound like an easy answer to life’s many problems—and we have enough of them, in this contemporary world! Meditation and mindfulness are all the rage, and there’s no shortage of people—including those in the book-publishing business—who are all too happy to cash in on it. You make no such promises. On the contrary, you stress constantly that the practice of Zen is a long, hard road, and one that requires dedication, determination, and years of hard work. I like that you revert frequently to the example of your own life and admit freely to your failings along the way as well as your successes. Buddhism is no sinecure.
I share your distrust of easy answers, and of teachers who offer them. I share your skepticism when it comes to religions and putative gods of all kinds. Your practical, no-nonsense approach to the conundrums with which life and death confront us appeals to my own learned sense of what I hope is healthy pragmatism. When it comes to the unanswerable questions, you honor the beliefs of others with the proper respect, but test them out with astute critical analysis.
I like that you are unafraid to tackle the unanswerable questions, however, and that you do not make light of the sometimes difficult and confusing concepts that Buddhism requires us to address. You do so forthrightly, and with both humility and clarity. Humility when it comes to not claiming to possess the right, or the only answers; clarity in being able to write about those concepts so that we can understand them. Most of us have a hard time with the Heart Sutra, for example: “form is emptiness, emptiness is form.” A conundrum, if ever there was one, not unlike other widely misunderstood or easily diluted concepts like no-self.. Rather than offering explanations, your clarity seems to offer us a way to get in on the secret, helping us to be comfortable with paradox and contradiction, to be open to meaning even when it’s hard to come to a rational understanding.
I like that you are knowledgeable about other branches of the Buddhist tree than Zen, and that you are able to bring that knowledge to bare sparingly, and appropriately. That you can refer us without pretension to literary sources and other fields of thought, providing us with historical, religious and philosophical context. I like that you share your obvious familiarity with many of the colorful characters who have followed in the Buddha’s path, and that you write about them with humorous affection for their foibles. That you make them come as alive for us as they seem to be for you.
I feel obliged to add that there’s some iffy stuff (that word again!) The big one is the reveal that comes at the end of your book, where your very last sentence reads, “And I apologize for lying to you.” Yes. You lied. I won’t be more specific because that would be a spoiler and I want other people to read your book. But I have to say that your last letter, this one addressed not to Marky but to your “Dear Readers,” felt like a slap in the face. You wrote eloquently about the Buddha’s Eightfold Path, one element of which is Right Speech; and about the precepts common to all branches of Buddhism, one of the most basic of which is the injunction: “Don’t lie.” So when I read that you’d been lying to me all along, I was pretty much outraged. Having been taken in by it all I quite honestly felt betrayed…
But then my outrage made me think again. Perhaps I should think of this slap-in-the-face as a kind of Zen wake-up call. Do they still use the keisaku in the zendo, that rod they smack across your shoulders in zazen when you get sloppy or sleepy? Or do contemporary Western sensibilities forbid that kind of physical correction? Anyway, that’s how it felt. So maybe I should read your whole book as a kind of Zen koan, one of those stories you also write about, the kind that often ends with the teacher rewarding the student with a nasty jab—or a kick in the pants—as the inscrutable answer to some absurd, unanswerable question. To jolt him past the quagmire of doubts and questions into enlightenment. Perhaps I needed this reminder, at the end of your book, of the Buddha’s injunction not to take anything for granted, to distrust even teachers, to distrust even his great wisdom, and return to the evidence of my own eyes, my own tested experience. Perhaps I needed that shock to remind me that it all comes back to the present moment.
Which is after all why we learn to just sit. So, okay, thanks, Brad. I enjoyed your sometimes perilous travels in Europe too. And your book is a good read, a good reminder. So, ta-ta for now. Be well. Your friend, Peter
January 29, 2020
I have read all of Brad Warner’s books and I am a fan so my opinions of this book probably won’t be surprising, I liked it. I do prefer his deeper dives into Zen/dharma geekery like “Don’t be a Jerk” and “It came from beyond Zen” but “Letters to a Dead friend about Zen” is something special. This book is a great way for Brad to write a book on the basics of Zen without feeling like he is covering the same ground that many others have.
“Letters to a Dead Friend about Zen” is a series of essays written as letters to Brad’s recently deceased friend explaining to said friend all about a huge part of Brad’s life that had been previously unshared with his friend. This stylistic choice was very effective not only in the way it presented the basics of Zen but I also found that the deeply personal and honest presentation of these letters gave me insight into the practical effects Zen practice had on the author.
This book is informative but most of all I found it very moving to read about Brad’s love of his friend and of Zen Buddhism.
“Letters to a Dead Friend about Zen” is a series of essays written as letters to Brad’s recently deceased friend explaining to said friend all about a huge part of Brad’s life that had been previously unshared with his friend. This stylistic choice was very effective not only in the way it presented the basics of Zen but I also found that the deeply personal and honest presentation of these letters gave me insight into the practical effects Zen practice had on the author.
This book is informative but most of all I found it very moving to read about Brad’s love of his friend and of Zen Buddhism.
October 15, 2019
Endorsements:
“Warner is unafraid of sharing his own beliefs and doubts and freely questions Buddhism itself. While loaded with pop culture references and dark humor, his explanations of Zen philosophy are steeped in tradition, well researched, and ultimately respectful of the practice. . . . Warner’s voice is much needed in American Buddhism.”
— Library Journal
“Warner provides an intimate, candid reflection of his Zen practice and his career as a writer and speaker in this touching work. . . . Honest and forthright, Warner’s trademark irreverent voice is present throughout.”
— Publishers Weekly
“Warner is unafraid of sharing his own beliefs and doubts and freely questions Buddhism itself. While loaded with pop culture references and dark humor, his explanations of Zen philosophy are steeped in tradition, well researched, and ultimately respectful of the practice. . . . Warner’s voice is much needed in American Buddhism.”
— Library Journal
“Warner provides an intimate, candid reflection of his Zen practice and his career as a writer and speaker in this touching work. . . . Honest and forthright, Warner’s trademark irreverent voice is present throughout.”
— Publishers Weekly
November 18, 2019
I don't write many reviews of non-fiction books, but in Brad Warner's case I always make an exception. He has done a great job in introducing very complex ideas about zen to English readers, in particular about Dogen.
In this book, he writes a series of letters to a recently deceased friend, in which he goes about introducing a lot of basic information about what Buddhism and Zen in particular are really like, in a way that is not contrived, not preachy, and definitely not boring.
If you haven't read Warner before, this is a good place to start, before moving on to his more esoteric (but still fascinating) other works.
Highly recommended!!!
In this book, he writes a series of letters to a recently deceased friend, in which he goes about introducing a lot of basic information about what Buddhism and Zen in particular are really like, in a way that is not contrived, not preachy, and definitely not boring.
If you haven't read Warner before, this is a good place to start, before moving on to his more esoteric (but still fascinating) other works.
Highly recommended!!!
April 5, 2022
A terrific overview of Zen Buddhism in epistolary form. Brad Warner’s writing style is plain-spoken and humorous, while still clearly informed by his decades of intense study and practice.
June 7, 2020
When I read Brad Warner, I think of myself writing it because I could've been him: Just an average straight white kid from the Midwest into punk rock, studying Japanese, and having a curiosity about Zen. There is absolutely nothing special about Brad. His writing is plain yet conversational. He says awkward things about bodily functions and shares questionable taste in pop culture. One big difference between him and me is that he gets paid to take deep dives into Buddhist teachings. In this book, he tries to explain Zen teachings to a friend who died of cancer without Brad ever having talked about his day job as a Zen "master." While listening to Brad read each letter to small audiences around the world, I would think regarding his explanations: "Knew that, knew that, understood that — holy crap, I never thought of it that way, that is mind-blowing!"
There are chapters here that are among the best explanations of Zen I’ve ever come across. I was especially taken by his chapter on "The Goal of Having No Goals," where I realized I'm addicted to "seeking." I constantly read Buddhist and spiritual books without ever stopping to put into practice the realization that I already know everything that I need to know. I'll still read such books, but I think I'll read them simply because I enjoy such discussions and not with the attitude of seeking spiritual progress from them.
Another good thing about this book is that it faces head-on many of the questions people now have about Zen and Buddhism that usually get ignored in most American Buddhist books, like drug use, problematic teachers, and esoteric Buddhist rituals and supernatural claims.
Anyway, here are a couple of excerpts I liked:
It is impossible for me to imagine a God who created this vast, vast universe and everything in it — billions of galaxies, each one containing billions of planets, probably countless forms of life, and endless ways of relating to God, all of it existing for billions of years — and then sending just one guy to one country on one planet, having him teach a handful of people for three years, and that’s it. That’s the version of God that absolutely every sentient being he created throughout all of time and space has to believe in. And if they don’t believe, they burn in hell forever.
That just doesn’t make any sense to me. It’s like the aliens in old cheap science-fiction films who figure they’ll conquer the Earth by sending one plastic-looking flying saucer piloted by two knuckleheads equipped with ray guns. I cannot believe in a God who seems like something dreamed up by schlock film directors like Roger Corman or Ed Wood.
I can no more believe that God is a Buddhist than I can believe that God is a Christian or a Hindu or a Muslim or whatever. To me that seems obscene and deranged.
And the passage that spoke so deeply to me personally:
The other problem with focusing on goals is that in doing so we create habits that pull us away from our real lives here and now. These habits are very hard to undo. In fact, the more goal oriented your life becomes, the harder it will be to get out of that goal-seeking mentality.
The goal-seeking mentality can drive you to achieve things, like getting rich or famous or whatever it is you’ve decided will make you happy. The problem becomes glaringly apparent once any goal is achieved. Achieving goals only makes us happy in the short term.
If you have created a habit of always seeking something better, you have a permanent problem. Once you’ve achieved whatever you set out to achieve, you may be happy for a little while, but this state always goes away. This is because you’ve become acclimated to seeking. Your habit of seeking something better will turn anything you achieve into something that must now be improved or replaced. No matter what it is. Even if it’s enlightenment.
There are chapters here that are among the best explanations of Zen I’ve ever come across. I was especially taken by his chapter on "The Goal of Having No Goals," where I realized I'm addicted to "seeking." I constantly read Buddhist and spiritual books without ever stopping to put into practice the realization that I already know everything that I need to know. I'll still read such books, but I think I'll read them simply because I enjoy such discussions and not with the attitude of seeking spiritual progress from them.
Another good thing about this book is that it faces head-on many of the questions people now have about Zen and Buddhism that usually get ignored in most American Buddhist books, like drug use, problematic teachers, and esoteric Buddhist rituals and supernatural claims.
Anyway, here are a couple of excerpts I liked:
It is impossible for me to imagine a God who created this vast, vast universe and everything in it — billions of galaxies, each one containing billions of planets, probably countless forms of life, and endless ways of relating to God, all of it existing for billions of years — and then sending just one guy to one country on one planet, having him teach a handful of people for three years, and that’s it. That’s the version of God that absolutely every sentient being he created throughout all of time and space has to believe in. And if they don’t believe, they burn in hell forever.
That just doesn’t make any sense to me. It’s like the aliens in old cheap science-fiction films who figure they’ll conquer the Earth by sending one plastic-looking flying saucer piloted by two knuckleheads equipped with ray guns. I cannot believe in a God who seems like something dreamed up by schlock film directors like Roger Corman or Ed Wood.
I can no more believe that God is a Buddhist than I can believe that God is a Christian or a Hindu or a Muslim or whatever. To me that seems obscene and deranged.
And the passage that spoke so deeply to me personally:
The other problem with focusing on goals is that in doing so we create habits that pull us away from our real lives here and now. These habits are very hard to undo. In fact, the more goal oriented your life becomes, the harder it will be to get out of that goal-seeking mentality.
The goal-seeking mentality can drive you to achieve things, like getting rich or famous or whatever it is you’ve decided will make you happy. The problem becomes glaringly apparent once any goal is achieved. Achieving goals only makes us happy in the short term.
If you have created a habit of always seeking something better, you have a permanent problem. Once you’ve achieved whatever you set out to achieve, you may be happy for a little while, but this state always goes away. This is because you’ve become acclimated to seeking. Your habit of seeking something better will turn anything you achieve into something that must now be improved or replaced. No matter what it is. Even if it’s enlightenment.
December 20, 2019
Really enjoyed this book. I have read Brad's other books and this is the most intro one. I could recommend it to someone interested in Zen who hasn't done much or any sitting and I think they could get a sense of it.
January 13, 2020
Another nice piece of writing by Brad Warner. This one is an interesting approach to taking a look at Zen, and is done in a creative way, as Brad discusses what Zen's all about to a composite of a couple of dead friends. A unique enjoyable approach to the subject.
June 9, 2023
This book feels quirky to me. The notion of writing to a dead friend is not so much of a stretch, but the addressing of that friend with humorful asides as though he were actually present feels more than a bit strange.
Each chapter of this book addresses some aspect of Zen that Warner decides to clarify, which seems to generally involve debunking something that Warner feels is misunderstood. This seems to fit the image I have of Warner, who comes across as very iconoclastic in his approach.
One thing that is great about this book is that Warner comes across as dead (no pun intended!) frank and honest in his statements about Zen, some of its practices, and some of its practitioners. He has a very no-nonsense approach to what Zen is all about, which is refreshing. Much of his approach seems to stem from his appreciation of what Dogen appears to have taught. I am only tangentially aware of Dogen, but from what I can gather, Dogen (and here, Warner) seems to present Zen often by telling the reader or audience what it is not, in the hopes of leading the reader to what Zen is.
Some of Warner's negatively oriented comments regarding some Zen leaders I also found helpful, as I struggle with the behavioral reputations of individuals like Trungpa or Frederick-Lenz as exemplars of Zen if their actual behavior often involved getting drunk and/or laid. He does not throw these characters 'under the bus', though it is clear that he struggles with their behavior as well.
Each chapter of this book addresses some aspect of Zen that Warner decides to clarify, which seems to generally involve debunking something that Warner feels is misunderstood. This seems to fit the image I have of Warner, who comes across as very iconoclastic in his approach.
One thing that is great about this book is that Warner comes across as dead (no pun intended!) frank and honest in his statements about Zen, some of its practices, and some of its practitioners. He has a very no-nonsense approach to what Zen is all about, which is refreshing. Much of his approach seems to stem from his appreciation of what Dogen appears to have taught. I am only tangentially aware of Dogen, but from what I can gather, Dogen (and here, Warner) seems to present Zen often by telling the reader or audience what it is not, in the hopes of leading the reader to what Zen is.
Some of Warner's negatively oriented comments regarding some Zen leaders I also found helpful, as I struggle with the behavioral reputations of individuals like Trungpa or Frederick-Lenz as exemplars of Zen if their actual behavior often involved getting drunk and/or laid. He does not throw these characters 'under the bus', though it is clear that he struggles with their behavior as well.
May 16, 2020
Every time I finish another Brad Warner book, it becomes my new favorite. That’s the case with this one, too. I highly recommend listening to the Audible audiobook versions of Brad’s books; he records them himself and really brings them to life. This book contained a lot of insight and humor, as Brad’s books always do. It made me laugh out loud often. I love the no-nonsense, straightforward way Brad explains mystical concepts and philosophical ideas. It’s very accessible for anyone. I made many annotations, but the thing that will really stick with me from this book is: “there is no reason to fear complete non existence. It’s what we’re made from. ... That which terrifies us more than anything else is just ourselves.”
That being said, I do wish Brad had a more nuanced understanding of SGI Buddhists. Chanting is not about wishing for “money, luck, and all kinds of nice things.” Nam myoho renge kyo is a rumination on cause and effect, as well as paying homage to the Lotus Sutra. Chanting can bring chanters into a mindset to create the causes for the effects they desire. And that’s just a very basic description. I just wanted to mention this in my review; I know Brad meant well, but some people might think his description of SGI Buddhists is demeaning.
Anyway, thank you, Saint Brad! Keep writing because I will keep reading.
That being said, I do wish Brad had a more nuanced understanding of SGI Buddhists. Chanting is not about wishing for “money, luck, and all kinds of nice things.” Nam myoho renge kyo is a rumination on cause and effect, as well as paying homage to the Lotus Sutra. Chanting can bring chanters into a mindset to create the causes for the effects they desire. And that’s just a very basic description. I just wanted to mention this in my review; I know Brad meant well, but some people might think his description of SGI Buddhists is demeaning.
Anyway, thank you, Saint Brad! Keep writing because I will keep reading.
October 24, 2020
This may be my favorite Brad Warner book yet.
I've enjoyed all of Warner's books. They're useful and engaging and thought-provoking while also fun to read.
This one covers a broader range of topics than most of his others. Where some books take a deep dive into Dogen's writing or sex and Zen or whatever, this touches on a lot issues, all of them interesting, and does more to present something like a complete worldview, an all around understanding of Warner's Zen. I like that.
The approach (letters to a mostly fictionalized "dead friend") works well. The letters are light enough, consistent with Warner's general style, not overly formal; but they're also somehow more reverent and serious than much of his writing. I like Warner's style generally, but sometimes he seems to get snarky for the sake of snark, piles on the goofiness and sarcasm so much that it obscures the overall message rather than making it more palatable. In this book, he gets closer to the perfect balance. There is silliness, but that silliness adds to rather than detracts from the seriousness of the subject.
Just really, really good stuff here, one I will recommend to others often.
I've enjoyed all of Warner's books. They're useful and engaging and thought-provoking while also fun to read.
This one covers a broader range of topics than most of his others. Where some books take a deep dive into Dogen's writing or sex and Zen or whatever, this touches on a lot issues, all of them interesting, and does more to present something like a complete worldview, an all around understanding of Warner's Zen. I like that.
The approach (letters to a mostly fictionalized "dead friend") works well. The letters are light enough, consistent with Warner's general style, not overly formal; but they're also somehow more reverent and serious than much of his writing. I like Warner's style generally, but sometimes he seems to get snarky for the sake of snark, piles on the goofiness and sarcasm so much that it obscures the overall message rather than making it more palatable. In this book, he gets closer to the perfect balance. There is silliness, but that silliness adds to rather than detracts from the seriousness of the subject.
Just really, really good stuff here, one I will recommend to others often.
May 11, 2022
Late last year I went through what I called then a ‘spiritual awakening’ or something close to that. I didn’t know exactly what I believed when it came to ideologies and belief systems but i knew the one I grew up with just wasn’t for me so I searched. I took a quick stop at the Ram Dass hippy school of Christian-Buddhist-Hindu thought. It was fine and it broadened my entire idea on the world and after more research and studies I finally landed on buddhism. So I went and hyper fixated and read every book I could get my grubby hands on. Somehow or another I landed on Brad Warner. Letters to a Dead Friend About Zen was my introduction to Warner and it was a decent one. The book can be a drag and boring at times and honestly its a perfect representation for Zen. I joke but really man, this book made me want to fall asleep but as soon as I would start giving up Warner would come in with a good little heartfelt joke and keep me going. Absolutely this book isn’t for everyone and I wouldn’t even recommend it to someone who is trying to learn more about zen but if you already have the basic concept down and want to broaden your view on it as a whole you may really enjoy this.
November 15, 2020
I just finished Letters to a Dead Friend about Zen. I thought generally it was a good book. In the afterword he explains how he had started writing it as a Zen 101 book, and that is evident. As I’ve read all but one of his previous books, I did find it basic in material, but not in writing. Because I have a reasonable understanding of Zen from his (and others) previous writing, I found most of the material to be review. This is not to say that is bad. Sometimes you need a review, and it seems I certainly did.
I was disappointed in the afterword, which I won’t talk about here. I understood some of the reasoning, but it detracted from the book for me. You might not want to read that, lol.
I love Brad Warner’s writing generally. I really enjoyed this book. I like his humor and how he doesn’t seem to take himself too seriously, and how he balances taking Zen seriously, but also not too seriously. I think if you’re looking for a Zen 101 book this is an excellent choice.
I was disappointed in the afterword, which I won’t talk about here. I understood some of the reasoning, but it detracted from the book for me. You might not want to read that, lol.
I love Brad Warner’s writing generally. I really enjoyed this book. I like his humor and how he doesn’t seem to take himself too seriously, and how he balances taking Zen seriously, but also not too seriously. I think if you’re looking for a Zen 101 book this is an excellent choice.
July 23, 2023
Je remercie la maison d’édition et la masse critique de Babelio pour l’envoie de ce service presse papier, ainsi que le marque page.
Alors j’avoue que je ne suis pas fan de la couverture et l’écriture très petite et serré qui rends la lecture difficile.
Ce roman est écrit sous forme de 25 lettres à son ami décédé, je trouve ça original, cela change des lectures habituelles.
Il s’agit d’une homme, un moine bercé et élevé par le punk, drôle de contraste n’est-ce pas ? Malgré tout dans le livre, il y a un brin d’humour, heureusement d’ailleurs, cela allège la lecture et permet de dédramatiser les choses.
Cependant, je trouve que l’auteur parle un chouia trop de lui, cela en devient limite lourd.
Cela reste une bonne lecture qui rends hommage à son ami et nous invite à vivre tant que l’on peut le faire, malgré des longueurs et des défauts.
Alors j’avoue que je ne suis pas fan de la couverture et l’écriture très petite et serré qui rends la lecture difficile.
Ce roman est écrit sous forme de 25 lettres à son ami décédé, je trouve ça original, cela change des lectures habituelles.
Il s’agit d’une homme, un moine bercé et élevé par le punk, drôle de contraste n’est-ce pas ? Malgré tout dans le livre, il y a un brin d’humour, heureusement d’ailleurs, cela allège la lecture et permet de dédramatiser les choses.
Cependant, je trouve que l’auteur parle un chouia trop de lui, cela en devient limite lourd.
Cela reste une bonne lecture qui rends hommage à son ami et nous invite à vivre tant que l’on peut le faire, malgré des longueurs et des défauts.
June 3, 2023
I was torn between rating this 4 or 3 stars. I think this would be an excellent book for someone looking for an approachable and heartfelt introduction to Zen Buddhism, maybe even moreso than Hardcore Zen. That said, the marketing for this book had me expecting this to be something else — something less educational and more personal, less concrete and more… unstructured? In this sense, my expectations were kind of unmet, but that’s more about me than the book itself. I think Warner did a great job with this, and again, I’d highly recommend it as introductory reading. For what I was looking for, however, it didn’t quite hit the mark, though it did have some excellent takeaways, and I’m glad to have read it.
December 4, 2023
I have read a few of Brad Warner's previous books and I invariably appreciate (and relate to) his no-nonsense, no-frills, no-woo discussion of Buddhism. All the goods are there - the history of Buddhism, explanations of core elements like the Four Noble Truths and the Noble Eightfold Path, and a lot of other aspects - and in straightforward language. The format of this book (the title gives it away) was also great. I also appreciated Warner taking on some of the thornier issues too - sleazy Zen masters/gurus, psychedelics and Buddhism, the difference between Zen and Japanese culture.
Rating this book is difficult: in the context of all books I have read, it is probably a 3.5. However, in terms of Buddhism-related books, it is a 4.5.
Rating this book is difficult: in the context of all books I have read, it is probably a 3.5. However, in terms of Buddhism-related books, it is a 4.5.
January 20, 2020
I ended up really liking this book. Lots of topics in the second half that have currency and the beginning had some kind of zen talk. There's a good chapter on koans. I liked the chapter on crazy wisdom. Thought provoking and I came to quite like his writing. I ordered another one from the library. The first book of his I tried to read was his book about god, and I wasn't into that, but I did try it until I couldn't go on. He only says, "thank god," once in the book and doesn't talk god. Anyway, his Zen god wasn't the standard stuff, so maybe it all works out, I didn't read enough to find out.
December 5, 2020
If you know nothing about Zen, know this, it is the easiest thing and the hardest thing to understand. That said, this book is great for everyone from novices to advanced practitioners. Brad Warner avoids all the "zen" slogans, dogmatic presentations, obscurity, and "feel good" afflictions found in a great many modern books on Zen. He explains things as clearly as anyone ever could I suspect, is willing to say "I don't know" and is an excellent teacher. The approach of explaining it all to his dead friend via letters gives it a folksy, humanistic and practical feel that I find wonderfully refreshing and absorbing. I loved the audio book which Warner reads himself. Enjoy!
November 23, 2019
Brad’s original title for this was Zen 101 and it lives up to that billing, being a sort of introduction to Zen and Buddhism in general. There’s no shortage of such books around and even as introductions go it’s not particularly deep, but the format, the engaging writing style and the humor make for an enjoyable read. Reader’s of Brad’s other books might not find much new here but for those who’ve never read him, it could make for a good first book to tackle.
February 6, 2020
This book is written in a very interesting style, reading it doesn't get boring, it's educational and entertaining at the same time. I'd recommend it for people with a new interest in Zen-Buddhism, but also for those who already know a fair bit about it, its not your typical bore about basic stuff other authors have already written about. I think the author is a unique character that produces unique books that are all worth reading.
April 29, 2020
Great book! As always Warner brings his irreverent style and voice to a topic which could be very stuffy. If I had to recommend one book to introduce a friend to Zen, this would be it...it breaks up practice, belief, other Buddhist beliefs in contrast to zen into easily digestible letters. I highly recommend you listen to this one and you can catch Warner’s tone of voice to go along with his smart ass words!
January 3, 2021
A bit ironic how judgmental and elitist this Buddhist could be perceived to be based on the language he chooses to use... but then, now I too am being judgmental and labeling him... but this is just a reminder... we are all human and fall into the human condition even as we attempt to break free from attachment... we cling to the ease of labels and a desire to be heard and understood. I still found it an interesting read.
September 22, 2024
A lot could be said about white guys writing books about Buddhism, but I genuinely think this is a truly accessible, succinct, and humorous portrayal of Buddhism for Americans, which also still remains true to the actual teachings and culture and history of Buddhism. Highly recommend as a Buddhism 101 type read, though it has enough insight and depth for even experienced practitioners to find something worthwhile.
February 13, 2021
After reading this one has to wonder why it written, as there is no apparent reason. Is it about Buddhism? No. Is it about Dogen's teaching? No, Brad rejects Dogen's most basic principles. What is Brad's point aside from meandering on and on about his personal complacency? No answer is forthcoming right to the very last page, when its too late to be abandoned as a waste of time.
February 26, 2021
I can't really say enough about this book. Brad Warner meant to write something akin to "Zen 101," but this heartfelt, raw format of - exactly what the title says - letters written to a dead friend about Zen serves the subject matter well. I can listen to this one again and again, so I'm glad I own it on Audible.
May 13, 2023
I liked the format - it made the Zen explanations fun and a little less dry. I also liked how candid the author is, when he doesn't know something he says it! He admits his own inconsistencies in his own life v. Buddhist practice. Still, there were some parts that just totally lost me a lot of "you are both here but not here" - I need my hand held a bit to get the point.
July 29, 2023
A Fantastic American Zen Primer
I’ve been a Zen practitioner for over 22 years now (Soto and Rinzai). This is a good primer on Zen philosophy. Better yet, I think teachers should read this. C’mon put down the Norman Fischer book (he’s good) or whatever Zen teacher/master your reading right now - And, read this one.
I’ve been a Zen practitioner for over 22 years now (Soto and Rinzai). This is a good primer on Zen philosophy. Better yet, I think teachers should read this. C’mon put down the Norman Fischer book (he’s good) or whatever Zen teacher/master your reading right now - And, read this one.
June 30, 2022
I liked this, but not as much as ‘don’t be a jerk’. In the afterward he explains that he wrote it to explain zen in general to people who don’t know anything about it.. like his other books, it is written in brad’s really informal style.
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