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Not Forsaken: A Story of Life After Abuse
Jenn Greenberg was abused by her church-going father. Yet she is still a Christian. In this courageous, compelling book, she reflects on how God brought life and hope in the darkest of situations. Jenn shows how the gospel enables survivors to navigate issues of guilt, forgiveness, love, and value. And she challenges church leaders to protect the vulnerable among their congregations.
Her reflections offer Biblical truths and gospel hope that can help survivors of abuse as well as those who walk alongside them.
Her reflections offer Biblical truths and gospel hope that can help survivors of abuse as well as those who walk alongside them.
256 pages, Hardcover
Published August 20, 2019
54 people are currently reading
363 people want to read
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 41 reviews
September 23, 2019
Note: I read this book while also reading What Is a Girl Worth?: My Story of Breaking the Silence and Exposing the Truth about Larry Nassar and USA Gymnastics by Rachael Denhollander. As they are both about abuse, their respective reviews might bleed together somewhat. Reading both together, I saw many similarities between them and the differences I saw between the two books showed their unique strengths. I strongly recommend reading both books, though they are unrelated outside of topic.
SUMMARY
Let me get it out of the way: this book was written by an abuse survivor for abuse victims and survivors. The author makes mention at the beginning and the end that she started writing this book to better help her husband understand what was happening in her heart and mind day-to-day as an abuse survivor. I think that this second audience exists, but it is far from the actual audience that the book comes across written for. I don't say this as a bad thing. It actually makes this an even better book.
I like to think of this book as a safe house, a warm blanket, and a close hug for people suffering through/with the storms of abuse. The author speaks of three aspects of a person: their body, mind, and heart. This book hits hard on the latter two, particularly the mind. To a degree, it's sort of a victim-to-survivor help guide, but I'll talk more about this later.
THE GOOD
The gospel flows through this book in wide rivers. While heartbreaking as it is to read about her abuser and the effects the abuse still has on her life, the author consistently points to Christ, what God has done, and who God says we are (Imago Dei).
I enjoyed her tone and care in this book. She understands and therefore emphasizes. Many will only see symptoms or side-effects from abuse. Greenberg sees more:
Her chapters on Recovering Fatherhood (with her thoughts about abuse in the biblical story of Jonathan) and The Truth About Forgiveness (with Boundaried Forgiveness and Reconciled Forgiveness) were my favorite in the book. Highlighting her thoughts on Jonathan, I really enjoyed her biblical look/lens on abuse. The author visits many scriptures from the perspective of abuse and by doing so helps so another facet of the scripture verse.
This quote hit way too close to me, as I deal with pain the same way:
Again, the author stresses and focuses on the life of the mind of the abused. "Abuse is never only physical." It's sad, but it wasn't until reading this book that I started to firmly believe that. The dots are connected for me now. "Abuse is never only physical."
THE CHALLENGES
I only have two things to mention.
First, the internal design of this book really irked me. There were multiple times that seemed intentionally confusing due to the way it was presented. For example, the book opens with journal-like entries from the author from different ages in her life/abuse. But the reader isn't told this and the "ages" are made to look like chapter titles. I spent a long time thinking there was a problem with my e-book and that the chapters were out of place. There's a beautiful chapter that is mostly a long imaginative conversation/dialogue between the author and Depression + Suicide. It's a wonderful chapter, but the formatting made it more confusing than it should've been. It should've been visually presented more like a play script. These things may seem small, but these smaller details (and there are many more) really distracted me as I read. This is not the author's fault in any way. Book design is not just how it looks, but also about how it reads.
Secondly, I don't know what to think about the author's final pages. She states:
In one way I can understand what she is saying but at the same time "victim" shouldn't be a derogatory or negative word. While I think her point has some merit, I feel like she's treating a side-effect or symptom. Are our labeling of things, people, and ourselves important? Yes. I just don't see it being close to the central problem (though I could easily be wrong about that).
CONCLUSION
This book drips compassion and understanding. I learned a lot, I felt/wept a lot, I "AMEN!!" a lot, and I was reminded of the gospel a lot. This is an easy recommendation. Go get the book. Read it and add it to your bookshelf for a friend who might need it, because statistically you probably know a friend going through abuse without your knowledge of it. May this book be a helpful tool.
Side-note to my Reformed followers: How many books do we have to read before we realize that there are certain beliefs and connections in our reformed theology that allow for abusers to stay hidden and thrive?
Four stars.
SUMMARY
Let me get it out of the way: this book was written by an abuse survivor for abuse victims and survivors. The author makes mention at the beginning and the end that she started writing this book to better help her husband understand what was happening in her heart and mind day-to-day as an abuse survivor. I think that this second audience exists, but it is far from the actual audience that the book comes across written for. I don't say this as a bad thing. It actually makes this an even better book.
I like to think of this book as a safe house, a warm blanket, and a close hug for people suffering through/with the storms of abuse. The author speaks of three aspects of a person: their body, mind, and heart. This book hits hard on the latter two, particularly the mind. To a degree, it's sort of a victim-to-survivor help guide, but I'll talk more about this later.
THE GOOD
The gospel flows through this book in wide rivers. While heartbreaking as it is to read about her abuser and the effects the abuse still has on her life, the author consistently points to Christ, what God has done, and who God says we are (Imago Dei).
I enjoyed her tone and care in this book. She understands and therefore emphasizes. Many will only see symptoms or side-effects from abuse. Greenberg sees more:
"Even the most emotionally healthy and strong person, upon suffering a trauma, will exhibit behavioral changes. We adapt. We evolve. We compensate. We do what we must in order to survive. Perhaps we are not weak, but merely tired of fighting. Perhaps we are not broken, but stuck in defense mode."
Her chapters on Recovering Fatherhood (with her thoughts about abuse in the biblical story of Jonathan) and The Truth About Forgiveness (with Boundaried Forgiveness and Reconciled Forgiveness) were my favorite in the book. Highlighting her thoughts on Jonathan, I really enjoyed her biblical look/lens on abuse. The author visits many scriptures from the perspective of abuse and by doing so helps so another facet of the scripture verse.
This quote hit way too close to me, as I deal with pain the same way:
"One of the toughest emotional challenges I’ve faced is my tendency toward self-neglect...I’ll neglect to eat, buy new clothes, cut my hair, or take care of myself...This too is a kind of control, a self-inflicted brand of pain. I’m regulating my joy, micromanaging my self-worth, and depriving myself of necessities the way an anorexic deprives themselves of food."
Again, the author stresses and focuses on the life of the mind of the abused. "Abuse is never only physical." It's sad, but it wasn't until reading this book that I started to firmly believe that. The dots are connected for me now. "Abuse is never only physical."
THE CHALLENGES
I only have two things to mention.
First, the internal design of this book really irked me. There were multiple times that seemed intentionally confusing due to the way it was presented. For example, the book opens with journal-like entries from the author from different ages in her life/abuse. But the reader isn't told this and the "ages" are made to look like chapter titles. I spent a long time thinking there was a problem with my e-book and that the chapters were out of place. There's a beautiful chapter that is mostly a long imaginative conversation/dialogue between the author and Depression + Suicide. It's a wonderful chapter, but the formatting made it more confusing than it should've been. It should've been visually presented more like a play script. These things may seem small, but these smaller details (and there are many more) really distracted me as I read. This is not the author's fault in any way. Book design is not just how it looks, but also about how it reads.
Secondly, I don't know what to think about the author's final pages. She states:
"I used to think of myself as a victim. And I was. But I learned that when I viewed myself as a victim, so did other people. Abusers, predators, and manipulators can sense pain. They seek out the weak, the suffering, and the vulnerable. I attracted perverse and controlling individuals to such an unsettling extent that I began calling myself a “freak magnet.”
Acknowledging myself as a victim, and seeing my abuser for what he was, were pivotal first steps in breaking free from abuse. But I couldn’t remain in that state forever. Pitching your tent in a mindset of perpetual victimhood stunts recovery. It’s like having an open wound that won’t stop bleeding. You’ve got to acknowledge the wound, yes. But then you have to work out how to bind it up.
So, you see, the labels we give ourselves are incredibly important. They can mean the difference between living indefinitely in victimhood, or recovering by the grace of the ultimate Survivor, Jesus Christ. They can keep us paralyzed in outrage, insecurity, and hopelessness, or motivate us to push past our obstacles and achieve a better way of life. A life where we can see beyond the darkness of sin and look forward to life with our true Father, in heaven."
In one way I can understand what she is saying but at the same time "victim" shouldn't be a derogatory or negative word. While I think her point has some merit, I feel like she's treating a side-effect or symptom. Are our labeling of things, people, and ourselves important? Yes. I just don't see it being close to the central problem (though I could easily be wrong about that).
CONCLUSION
This book drips compassion and understanding. I learned a lot, I felt/wept a lot, I "AMEN!!" a lot, and I was reminded of the gospel a lot. This is an easy recommendation. Go get the book. Read it and add it to your bookshelf for a friend who might need it, because statistically you probably know a friend going through abuse without your knowledge of it. May this book be a helpful tool.
Side-note to my Reformed followers: How many books do we have to read before we realize that there are certain beliefs and connections in our reformed theology that allow for abusers to stay hidden and thrive?
Four stars.
September 4, 2019
A powerful resource
As a survivor of a violent alcoholic abusive father that had to step in front of my little sisters so he would hit me and not them, I can personally relate to Jenn's story and to how abuse can really warp one's own view of self and everything else.
Today, a full 35 years after the last time my dad tried to beat me with his fists, I can concur with a lot of the emotional discoveries she made and even add kudos for her elegant analysis of how Christ can set us free as we turn to Him. I was even able to reconcile with my earthly father as he took responsibility for the abuse he dished out.
I even have hope for my suicidal daughter, who says she also wants to read the book.
As a survivor of a violent alcoholic abusive father that had to step in front of my little sisters so he would hit me and not them, I can personally relate to Jenn's story and to how abuse can really warp one's own view of self and everything else.
Today, a full 35 years after the last time my dad tried to beat me with his fists, I can concur with a lot of the emotional discoveries she made and even add kudos for her elegant analysis of how Christ can set us free as we turn to Him. I was even able to reconcile with my earthly father as he took responsibility for the abuse he dished out.
I even have hope for my suicidal daughter, who says she also wants to read the book.
August 20, 2019
In this part-memoir, part-theology of abuse and abuse survival, Jennifer shows that God is on the side of the abused. His heart is grieved by their pain and he has not forsake the abused. She shares definitively from Scripture that God never once forsook her, even when she was walking in the darkest depths of the Valley of the Shadow of Death. In the heart-wrenching, beautiful, and refreshing pages of this book, Jennifer discusses Jesus’s heart for the abused, God as our true and perfect Father, understanding the image of God in yourself after abuse, forgiveness, and so much more.
Jennifer handles a raw, emotional, and immensely difficult topic with the grace of someone who has been through harshest fires and deepest valleys and lived to tell the tale. Her faith will both rebuke and encourage you in yours. With the heartbreaking prevalence of #metoo and #churchtoo, Not Forsaken is extremely relevant to our time.
(full review: https://roseelliottwrites.com/book-re...)
Jennifer handles a raw, emotional, and immensely difficult topic with the grace of someone who has been through harshest fires and deepest valleys and lived to tell the tale. Her faith will both rebuke and encourage you in yours. With the heartbreaking prevalence of #metoo and #churchtoo, Not Forsaken is extremely relevant to our time.
(full review: https://roseelliottwrites.com/book-re...)
August 17, 2019
"When evil looms and darkness falls
And tragedy is breaking
When all that's good seems overturned
By God I'm not forsaken
For though I fall or wander far
I'm not too far for saving
And when my Shepherd seeks and finds
How can I keep from singing" (229)?
So cantillates Jennifer Michelle Greenberg, mother, wife, writer, musician and abuse survivor, in her new 240 page hardback "Not Forsaken: A Story of Life After Abuse". This volume is the tale of her terrors and troubles at the hands of an abusive father, and it is far, far more. It is truly a story of life after abuse, abundant life found only in the One who is the Way, the Truth, and the Life. An easy to read book, it is ideally suited for those who have been traumatized and those who long to help the trampled! "I am not my abuser. I have a choice. I aspire to heal and grow by God's grace" (82).
Greenberg inaugurates "Not Forsaken" with short, heart-rending glimpses of her childhood to give the reader a deep sense that this is not a a disaffected academic research project, but life and flesh and grief and pain woven into the fiber of each page. Yet the author does not dwell long in those dark corners and dank memories. She quickly moves on to uncover the the substance of health and wholeness. She leaves little wiggle-room for an abuser's self-justifications. In fact, she rightly states - for the good of survivors - that you "won't recover from evil if you can't admit what is evil...For when we call evil what it is, not only do we embark upon the process of recovery, be we deny our abuser power over our minds" (51).
"Not Forsaken" also helps the victims to work through the voices in their head, the fog of confusion, the backbreaking weight of borrowed guilt, and the manipulative ploys used by their perpetrators that linger. The author even takes a constructive jaunt down the trail of forgiveness, making very useful distinctions and voicing invaluable perceptions. I deeply appreciated Greenberg's clear-eyed depictions of the traits of an abuser, and the trademarks of a "gracer" (44-51). This book is definitely a story about life after abuse, and how to actually live after abuse.
Fittingly did Russell Moore, president of Ethics & Religious Liberty Commission, pen in the forward that what is most real in the cosmos is "the action of grace in territory held largely by the devil." Therefore, Christians "should be, above all people, those who understand the reality of trauma. And we should be, above all people, those who know that trauma is not invincible to the workings of grace" (9). This book is just the book to give Christians the means to understand trauma, and rejoice that trauma and evil are not invincible to the workings of God's grace. And this book is just the book to give the traumatized, abused, and surviving a hopeful and healthy way to be swept up in the workings of grace as it vanquishes evil! I not only recommend the book, I implore you to obtain copies to give to the scarred and violated.
My thanks to The Good Book Company for sending me a copy of the book at my request, which I used for this review. They made no stipulations or specifications. Therefore, this assessment is my own, freely penned and freely presented.
And tragedy is breaking
When all that's good seems overturned
By God I'm not forsaken
For though I fall or wander far
I'm not too far for saving
And when my Shepherd seeks and finds
How can I keep from singing" (229)?
So cantillates Jennifer Michelle Greenberg, mother, wife, writer, musician and abuse survivor, in her new 240 page hardback "Not Forsaken: A Story of Life After Abuse". This volume is the tale of her terrors and troubles at the hands of an abusive father, and it is far, far more. It is truly a story of life after abuse, abundant life found only in the One who is the Way, the Truth, and the Life. An easy to read book, it is ideally suited for those who have been traumatized and those who long to help the trampled! "I am not my abuser. I have a choice. I aspire to heal and grow by God's grace" (82).
Greenberg inaugurates "Not Forsaken" with short, heart-rending glimpses of her childhood to give the reader a deep sense that this is not a a disaffected academic research project, but life and flesh and grief and pain woven into the fiber of each page. Yet the author does not dwell long in those dark corners and dank memories. She quickly moves on to uncover the the substance of health and wholeness. She leaves little wiggle-room for an abuser's self-justifications. In fact, she rightly states - for the good of survivors - that you "won't recover from evil if you can't admit what is evil...For when we call evil what it is, not only do we embark upon the process of recovery, be we deny our abuser power over our minds" (51).
"Not Forsaken" also helps the victims to work through the voices in their head, the fog of confusion, the backbreaking weight of borrowed guilt, and the manipulative ploys used by their perpetrators that linger. The author even takes a constructive jaunt down the trail of forgiveness, making very useful distinctions and voicing invaluable perceptions. I deeply appreciated Greenberg's clear-eyed depictions of the traits of an abuser, and the trademarks of a "gracer" (44-51). This book is definitely a story about life after abuse, and how to actually live after abuse.
Fittingly did Russell Moore, president of Ethics & Religious Liberty Commission, pen in the forward that what is most real in the cosmos is "the action of grace in territory held largely by the devil." Therefore, Christians "should be, above all people, those who understand the reality of trauma. And we should be, above all people, those who know that trauma is not invincible to the workings of grace" (9). This book is just the book to give Christians the means to understand trauma, and rejoice that trauma and evil are not invincible to the workings of God's grace. And this book is just the book to give the traumatized, abused, and surviving a hopeful and healthy way to be swept up in the workings of grace as it vanquishes evil! I not only recommend the book, I implore you to obtain copies to give to the scarred and violated.
My thanks to The Good Book Company for sending me a copy of the book at my request, which I used for this review. They made no stipulations or specifications. Therefore, this assessment is my own, freely penned and freely presented.
August 20, 2019
If the balm of Gilead were something tangible, it would be this book. This book flows over all the wounded places in your soul, and reminds you that you're enough. Jenn writes with such humility, yet such intense compassion, that you feel your heart healing even as you weep, because you realize you're no longer alone. You're not a failure for what you feel today. You're not a failure because of what has happened yesterday. The beautiful thing is that this is NOT a self help book: she doesn't cheapen God's grace that way. The entire book is nothing short of her pointing towards the only One who can make sense out of our lives, and put them back together. Every chapter, every story, every verse - Jenn weaves in Christ and His magnificent goodness, and reminds us that His true love really DOES conquer all. This book won't cure you. This book won't magically make all the pain go away. It will, though, tell you that it's okay to hurt; it's okay to still not know the answers. It's okay, because there is Someone waiting who desperately loves you, and wants to walk this road with you.
August 20, 2019
If you have ever suffered abuse in any form & seek healing, you need to read Not Forsaken by Jennifer Michelle Greenberg. In relating her pain she shares how she came to heal and invites others to heal with her. I just finished it a few minutes ago and highly recommend it for survivors, those struggling to survive and those who want to understand what others deal with in order to survive abuse. The book will help this last group learn how to help and show compassion.
August 20, 2019
Are you a Christian and an abuse survivor? Are you trying to understand a loved one who has suffered from years of mistreatment? I can not recommend Not Forsaken enough for you.
When I first started reading this book, I wished deeply that I had something similar when I started my own healing journey three years ago.
Jennifer suffered under basically every form of her abuse her entire life, and wrote this book to untangle many of the lies told to her in her healing process. Should you forgive an abuser? Should you just forget it? Is your pain really that serious? If you are at the beginning of your healing journey, this book is a very approachable place to start in understanding your own story. Jennifer writes about processing her pain, seeking God, and relating to readers the continuing impact after abuse by discussing what it is like to have PTSD, relating to a “concussion of the soul.”
Read Jennifer’s to feel seen, loved, validated- and to understand yourself. Or, read Not Forsaken to understand what goes in the mind of an abuse survivor.
When I first started reading this book, I wished deeply that I had something similar when I started my own healing journey three years ago.
Jennifer suffered under basically every form of her abuse her entire life, and wrote this book to untangle many of the lies told to her in her healing process. Should you forgive an abuser? Should you just forget it? Is your pain really that serious? If you are at the beginning of your healing journey, this book is a very approachable place to start in understanding your own story. Jennifer writes about processing her pain, seeking God, and relating to readers the continuing impact after abuse by discussing what it is like to have PTSD, relating to a “concussion of the soul.”
Read Jennifer’s to feel seen, loved, validated- and to understand yourself. Or, read Not Forsaken to understand what goes in the mind of an abuse survivor.
August 1, 2019
Listen to my podcast interview with the author here - https://shows.pippa.io/basic-bible-po...
July 6, 2019
Redeeming and hopeful true life story that’s beneficial for not only victims or survivors of abuse but pastors, Christian leaders, and members of survivors as well.
September 1, 2019
Not Forsaken is part memoir, part theology. Greenberg's book is full of grace and redemption, no "pull yourself up by the bootstraps", Victorious Christian Living theology here. She points to Jesus as the source of love and wholeness in every chapter. I found the chapter on forgiveness (in which the author deals with myths about forgiveness) and the chapter on love (in which she looks at each part of 2 Corinthians 13 to show what love really is) to be particularly good. I would recommend this book to any Christian who is trying to heal from abuse in their past, deal with abuse in their present, or who is trying to walk with someone else through abuse (pastors, counselors, friends, etc).
October 17, 2020
This deeply moving book, which is part memoir and part recovery guide, is full of understanding and practical wisdom for abuse survivors and those who want to support them. It is written from a Christian perspective, but would also be accessible to people who do not share the author's beliefs, as long as they are open to seeing how she has processed her pain and found healing in Christ.
January 8, 2021
Definitely recommend for anyone, not just abuse survivors.
September 12, 2019
"Not Forsaken" by Jennifer Michelle Greenberg began as a letter to her husband to try to explain the trauma and emotional, mental, and physical aftermath of her child abuse. That letter became this book, and I am so glad she wrote it for the rest of us.
Jenn's writing is candid and honest but with discretion as to some details. Even so her story is heart-wrenching. Yet this book isn't "all about her" but about the God who was faithful to keep, preserve, and now use her to help others. I had to put down the book at times to cry. Sometimes because of what Jenn endured, but sometimes because of the good news of the gospel and the power of God to restore beauty out of ashes.
If you are a victim/survivor, you will find a compassionate friend who has walked a similar path. If you are a church leader or anyone who cares about the suffering of others, this book is for you too. It opens a window into the life of a child abuse victim/survivor and the difficult path forward. It also provides spiritual and practical insight on how to support and not add to the hurt through ignorance or misunderstanding, and unfortunately there has been a lot of misunderstanding lately.
I strongly recommend "Not Forsaken." It will help you to better love and support the child abuse victim/survivor who may be in your family, next door, or in the next pew.
Jenn's writing is candid and honest but with discretion as to some details. Even so her story is heart-wrenching. Yet this book isn't "all about her" but about the God who was faithful to keep, preserve, and now use her to help others. I had to put down the book at times to cry. Sometimes because of what Jenn endured, but sometimes because of the good news of the gospel and the power of God to restore beauty out of ashes.
If you are a victim/survivor, you will find a compassionate friend who has walked a similar path. If you are a church leader or anyone who cares about the suffering of others, this book is for you too. It opens a window into the life of a child abuse victim/survivor and the difficult path forward. It also provides spiritual and practical insight on how to support and not add to the hurt through ignorance or misunderstanding, and unfortunately there has been a lot of misunderstanding lately.
I strongly recommend "Not Forsaken." It will help you to better love and support the child abuse victim/survivor who may be in your family, next door, or in the next pew.
November 16, 2019
A heartbreaking read. A hopeful read.
Jennifer weaves her story along with the wonders of Christ, showing how being abused isn't the end, what forgiveness looks like, where there is hope for the abused, and where one's true value is.
In Christ, none are forsaken.
Jennifer weaves her story along with the wonders of Christ, showing how being abused isn't the end, what forgiveness looks like, where there is hope for the abused, and where one's true value is.
In Christ, none are forsaken.
June 8, 2023
This is not a biography; more of spiritual reflections on healing after abuse. It would be especially pertinent to abuse victims, but all could benefit. Four stars from me mostly because I wasn’t in the right headspace, but I expect to return to certain chapters through my life.
May 17, 2021
This is a very good read, it follows Jennifer's story from childhood to adulthood. It addresses many important issues, including the Biblical approach to healing and forgiveness. My favourite chapter was the one on forgiveness, which debunked some common myths! It is a heavy read, but also filled with hope and God's grace.
The reason I give it four/five stars is because the writing didn't always keep me engaged and focused, and I didn't agree with all of the theology.
If you read this book, I highly recommend you read 'Not Forsaken: Shepherd's Guide'. It was so such a helpful book for me, not only to understand others, but also very relatable to some things that I have gone through. It is a really helpful tool for Pastors, Christians and advocates and touches on so many different types and aspects of abuse and how to deal with them.
The reason I give it four/five stars is because the writing didn't always keep me engaged and focused, and I didn't agree with all of the theology.
If you read this book, I highly recommend you read 'Not Forsaken: Shepherd's Guide'. It was so such a helpful book for me, not only to understand others, but also very relatable to some things that I have gone through. It is a really helpful tool for Pastors, Christians and advocates and touches on so many different types and aspects of abuse and how to deal with them.
November 12, 2019
This book is both difficult and encouraging to read. This dear lady confronts and exposes the horrors of an abusive home, under the hand of a brutal father who professed faith in Christ. I'm thankful for how Jennifer's experience drew her closer to Christ rather than run from the horrific hypocrisy of her upbringing.
September 5, 2019
An emotional and theologically sound book that is very helpful for understanding abuse and how to help those who have suffered it.
January 12, 2022
This book was so timely for me. I stumbled upon it during one of my first interactions on Twitter. I inserted myself into a conversation, and without really thinking about it, I agreed to purchase the book on Amazon. It was the Holy Spirit moving in my life because I needed to read Jennifer's story. I was no longer alone in my struggle. I had the words of someone who traveled this journey before me. I had been going on 17 years of marriage, not even knowing about the experience of domestic abuse. I was awakening. I was, in fact, a victim who had normalized the patterns of power and control of my abuser.
Not Forsaken is not about abuse at the hands of a spouse, but the theme that God sustains the broken and battered spoke right to my heart. It is my go-to recommendation when I meet fellow survivors in the support groups I attend. It exceeds another book recommendation I received from a pastor who quickly identified I was the victim of narcissistic abuse from a 5-minute recounting of my prayer concerns. When the pastor at one of those Christian radio stations took the words right out of my mouth, I surely felt God was in the conversation. He recommended Lysa TerKeurst's book Forgiving What Can't Forget: Discover How to Move On, Make Peace with Painful Memories, and Create a Life That's Beautiful Again.
True to my act now, ask questions later, personality, I got the audible version of this book immediately. I'm not an avid reader, so my test of an excellent book is if I'm able to finish it. Maybe TerKuerst's book gets better after chapter 3, but I couldn't tell you. I hope Lysa doesn't read this review and feel hurt. It's not my intention to put down another survivor's story and contribution to help those who desperately need it. My intention is to provide a reference point for my review of Not Forsaken.
If you've heard of both books, I recommend Jennifer Greenberg's Not Forsaken. It resonated with my particular experience in way that hit me personally. It's my joy to pass on this information to those who are searching for resources to navigate the excruciating journey. My note to counselors is to guide survivors to this resource as well.
I joked with Jennifer on Twitter that "I have theological bone to pick with you on your chapter on forgiveness." She has not replied. But I did also write that I recognized that her approach was pastoral and expedient to the needs of a hurting victim trying to escape the aftermath of abuse.
Often times, long after the relationship has ended, victims are retraumatized by mental health providers and spiritual communities who are unaware. Among those unaware are the victims themselves. No matter where you are in your healing journey, the chapters in this book will be a balm for a hurting heart. I speak from personal experience.
About 18 months after first meeting Jennifer on Twitter, I've been running an active support group virtually. It's called Narcissistic Abuse and Healing. It can be found here at https://www.meetup.com/healing-narc-a.... All are welcome.
Not Forsaken is not about abuse at the hands of a spouse, but the theme that God sustains the broken and battered spoke right to my heart. It is my go-to recommendation when I meet fellow survivors in the support groups I attend. It exceeds another book recommendation I received from a pastor who quickly identified I was the victim of narcissistic abuse from a 5-minute recounting of my prayer concerns. When the pastor at one of those Christian radio stations took the words right out of my mouth, I surely felt God was in the conversation. He recommended Lysa TerKeurst's book Forgiving What Can't Forget: Discover How to Move On, Make Peace with Painful Memories, and Create a Life That's Beautiful Again.
True to my act now, ask questions later, personality, I got the audible version of this book immediately. I'm not an avid reader, so my test of an excellent book is if I'm able to finish it. Maybe TerKuerst's book gets better after chapter 3, but I couldn't tell you. I hope Lysa doesn't read this review and feel hurt. It's not my intention to put down another survivor's story and contribution to help those who desperately need it. My intention is to provide a reference point for my review of Not Forsaken.
If you've heard of both books, I recommend Jennifer Greenberg's Not Forsaken. It resonated with my particular experience in way that hit me personally. It's my joy to pass on this information to those who are searching for resources to navigate the excruciating journey. My note to counselors is to guide survivors to this resource as well.
I joked with Jennifer on Twitter that "I have theological bone to pick with you on your chapter on forgiveness." She has not replied. But I did also write that I recognized that her approach was pastoral and expedient to the needs of a hurting victim trying to escape the aftermath of abuse.
Often times, long after the relationship has ended, victims are retraumatized by mental health providers and spiritual communities who are unaware. Among those unaware are the victims themselves. No matter where you are in your healing journey, the chapters in this book will be a balm for a hurting heart. I speak from personal experience.
About 18 months after first meeting Jennifer on Twitter, I've been running an active support group virtually. It's called Narcissistic Abuse and Healing. It can be found here at https://www.meetup.com/healing-narc-a.... All are welcome.
August 19, 2020
Abuse is horrible, but sadly it is a very real problem in churches, Christian homes and Christian families. We have a responsibility to care for people, that will mean being aware of the dangers and signs of abuse. Here’s a book that will help you start to think through what abuse can look like in a Christian home and how easy it is to hide. Please, know that this is a real danger and something we must be aware of and actively speak out against.
This book tells Jennifer story of how she grew up with a church-going abusive father. It tells the story of how she was playing with toys and her father was reading a theology book. Apparently making too much noise, she was beaten. As I read this book I was shocked that anyone could do such horrible things to their daughter. I was shocked that people didn’t listen, didn’t want to listen or didn’t understand what was going on. But most of all, as I put the book down I was absolutely amazing and rejoicing that Jennifer has gone through all of this and come through the other end a Christian and a voice for other victims of abuse.
Sadly we live in a world where Jennifer is not alone and thousands upon thousands of people live in similar situations, but this book is a tremendous resource for everyone to read! I don’t often say that you need to get a book, but this is one of those books! It is Jennifer’s testimony but it is also a book that tells you how to spot abuse, how to care for the victim and how to navigate a very difficult topic.
This book shines light on the lack of knowledge out there, it speaks of pastors saying that Jennifer was exaggerating or that she was to blame for her father’s sin. I was appalled to read of how some people treated Jennifer as she tried to reach out for help and I am so thankful that she wrote this book to give us no excuse for that to happen again!
This book was written initially as a letter to her husband and I am so thankful that Jennifer was willing to be so vulnerable in such a public way so that we can all learn about this heart wrenching topic of abuse. This resource will make you weep, make you wake up and it will fill your mind with the wonderful truth that, despite what you’re going through, you are not forsaken!
This book tells Jennifer story of how she grew up with a church-going abusive father. It tells the story of how she was playing with toys and her father was reading a theology book. Apparently making too much noise, she was beaten. As I read this book I was shocked that anyone could do such horrible things to their daughter. I was shocked that people didn’t listen, didn’t want to listen or didn’t understand what was going on. But most of all, as I put the book down I was absolutely amazing and rejoicing that Jennifer has gone through all of this and come through the other end a Christian and a voice for other victims of abuse.
Sadly we live in a world where Jennifer is not alone and thousands upon thousands of people live in similar situations, but this book is a tremendous resource for everyone to read! I don’t often say that you need to get a book, but this is one of those books! It is Jennifer’s testimony but it is also a book that tells you how to spot abuse, how to care for the victim and how to navigate a very difficult topic.
This book shines light on the lack of knowledge out there, it speaks of pastors saying that Jennifer was exaggerating or that she was to blame for her father’s sin. I was appalled to read of how some people treated Jennifer as she tried to reach out for help and I am so thankful that she wrote this book to give us no excuse for that to happen again!
This book was written initially as a letter to her husband and I am so thankful that Jennifer was willing to be so vulnerable in such a public way so that we can all learn about this heart wrenching topic of abuse. This resource will make you weep, make you wake up and it will fill your mind with the wonderful truth that, despite what you’re going through, you are not forsaken!
January 10, 2020
As a Christian, I’ve struggled with concepts Jennifer covers in her book—I’m supposed to just forgive? Really? What if they never admitted any wrongdoing, how does that work?
This is one of those areas where, I hate to say it, but other Christians feel free to weigh in when they don’t know your experience well at all. Knee-jerk Christianity does the wounded harm. Having people throw answers at a traumatizes survivor only injures them further: “forgive so you’ll be forgiven” ignored the process every survivor of abuse must go through to heal. The author addresses this and much more.
The book starts with brief stories from different years of her childhood. These are described without lurid details, a blessing to me and I’d imagine most survivors of abuse, which meant i didn’t run screaming.
I appreciated the author’s description of different types of abusers and different types of forgiveness especially. Everything has carefully researched scripture backing. She covers who we are before God, what love truly means rather than what many Christians decide it means, and much more.
This book would be healing for people who’ve experienced sexual, emotional, spiritual or physical abuse. The no-nonsense approach coupled with humor made this book both helpful and enjoyable!
This is one of those areas where, I hate to say it, but other Christians feel free to weigh in when they don’t know your experience well at all. Knee-jerk Christianity does the wounded harm. Having people throw answers at a traumatizes survivor only injures them further: “forgive so you’ll be forgiven” ignored the process every survivor of abuse must go through to heal. The author addresses this and much more.
The book starts with brief stories from different years of her childhood. These are described without lurid details, a blessing to me and I’d imagine most survivors of abuse, which meant i didn’t run screaming.
I appreciated the author’s description of different types of abusers and different types of forgiveness especially. Everything has carefully researched scripture backing. She covers who we are before God, what love truly means rather than what many Christians decide it means, and much more.
This book would be healing for people who’ve experienced sexual, emotional, spiritual or physical abuse. The no-nonsense approach coupled with humor made this book both helpful and enjoyable!
July 29, 2020
Heart wrenchingly helpful
Toward the back end of this book, Jennifer Michelle Greenberg writes, “If this book helps one person heal—if it can stop one heart from breaking, ease one life of its aching, or soothe one pain—I consider my suffering a worthwhile endurance.”
This book can be difficult to read for anyone with a heart for the hurting, but the author’s ability to blend personal testimony with gospel-centred counsel makes for a title that will prove profoundly helpful to anyone who has experienced some form of abuse, or wants to help someone who has. Read it carefully and benefit from Greenberg’s wisdom, which comes from personal experience and biblical reflection. Highly recommended.
Toward the back end of this book, Jennifer Michelle Greenberg writes, “If this book helps one person heal—if it can stop one heart from breaking, ease one life of its aching, or soothe one pain—I consider my suffering a worthwhile endurance.”
This book can be difficult to read for anyone with a heart for the hurting, but the author’s ability to blend personal testimony with gospel-centred counsel makes for a title that will prove profoundly helpful to anyone who has experienced some form of abuse, or wants to help someone who has. Read it carefully and benefit from Greenberg’s wisdom, which comes from personal experience and biblical reflection. Highly recommended.
November 22, 2021
I had the privilege of knowing the author when we were both teenagers. It was difficult reading this book, knowing that her abuse was ongoing when we were acquaintances. I wish I could have been a help to her during that time. BUT it is a good reminder to me that we never know who in our lives is currently undergoing abuse. We just keep our eyes and ears out.
As for the book, Jennifer has obviously thought and wrestled through this extensively on physical, mental, emotional and spiritual levels, so her insights were valuable to me. It seemed pretty thorough. She is a good writer and her compassionate voice comes through.
I do not, however, think the book should a replacement for professional therapy (nor do I believe that was the author’s intent).
As for the book, Jennifer has obviously thought and wrestled through this extensively on physical, mental, emotional and spiritual levels, so her insights were valuable to me. It seemed pretty thorough. She is a good writer and her compassionate voice comes through.
I do not, however, think the book should a replacement for professional therapy (nor do I believe that was the author’s intent).
November 12, 2019
Such a beautiful picture of how God takes ugliness and chaos and turns it into beauty and order. Being an abuse survivor my self there was much I could relate too. Especially in chapter 12 when she talks about 2 kinds of forgiveness. I appreciated her defining "boundary forgiveness" and "reconciled forgiveness". The most important thing though about Jennifer's book is that she explains how God, our real Father, loves and heals and forgives and uses our stories to show His love, and forgiveness and healing to others.
May 15, 2020
I started this book because I have been seeking to learn how to do a good job of loving those who have been hurt by abuse. This book certainly helped me with that, but it was also as much for me as it was for others. Although I have never been abused, the gospel truth of God‘s love for his people is made so evident in this book, whether you have been abused or not, you cannot help but be grateful for the love that God has for you.
Please read this book. Whatever your story, there is comfort and hope here.
Please read this book. Whatever your story, there is comfort and hope here.
September 21, 2022
This is a very helpful, hopeful, hard to read yet life giving book. Her chapters on defining the fatherhood of God, what is forgiveness and what is true love were really really insightful and thought provoking. Whether you have experienced abuse or want to help others who have, this book is a really needed resource. But more than a resource, this is a story - a story of redemption, of a Father intent on rescuing his daughter, a shepherd who won’t stop until his dearly loved knows and feels his safety.
October 27, 2019
Good stuff. Love how she didn’t make her story the centre of the book so you’re not left with those memories. Rather she presents her struggles as past, present, and future in light of her healing that she is obtaining. Theology is fairly bang on, at times I wish she said more for clarification or nuanced things a bit more. But would give this book to someone struggling see how God meets them in their abuse recovery.
April 23, 2020
Ms. Greenberg is to be commended for writing so gently and honestly on such a painful topic. I have worked with survivors of child abuse for over 30 years. I would not hesitate to share this book with any of them. I would also like to give this book to anyone who works with children. We wonder why children don't come forward earlier or why adults don't step in earlier. Read this book if you want to understand. She is also a woman of profound courage and faith.
January 16, 2025
I have not finished this book and I don't think I'll ever be able to. It's not that the writing is bad, it's that the topic is too painful. I'm sure it ends on an optimistic note, but it was hard to read some of the events that had a habit of me re-living some past trauma. I follow the author on X. She posts some important things to rally behind, so I recommend doing that if you're willing. But I don't think I can finish the book.
August 8, 2025
Not Forsaken by Jennifer Michelle Greenberg is a powerful, heart-wrenching, and inspiring memoir that weaves personal trauma with gospel hope. Greenberg’s candid storytelling about surviving abuse, paired with her deep faith, offers profound insights into healing, forgiveness, and God’s unwavering love. This book is both a lifeline for survivors and a call to action for churches to protect the vulnerable. A must-read for its raw honesty and redemptive message.
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