Yikes 😬😬.
Okay, so I'm Scottish, and my kin are nowhere near posh. We're as blue-collar and blunt as can be. I was raised by a man and around boys, and I have a pretty ribald and irreverent sense of humour as a result, I admit. I'm relatively thick-skinned for a female and it's hard to repulse or offend me.
This book - in particular, the heroine - was absolutely revolting.
Here again, we have another unattractive heroine paired with an unfairly attractive hero. It's not believable. It might sound shallow, but hey, the truth hurts. It is what it is.
Here's a tip, writers - That's. Never. Gonna. Happen. A man like Max is never going to go for a six feet, pear-shaped girl with thunder thighs, a fat belly and an ugly, bulbous nose.
I get that this is chick-lit/rom-com fare, but the image the writer paints of the heroine is unappealing rather than endearing. And it steadily goes downhill.
I legit felt nauseous more than once during this book, and I fail to see how this heroine's crass and frankly disgusting inner-dialogue was funny. So, if gross-out humour and unnecessary detail doesn't faze you, read on. If it does, proceed at your own risk.
In this story we get to read about -
- the heroine peeing on her hand and a description of her wiping herself 😷.
Not her hand...thankfully, she actually washes that.
- a bout of loose bowels and wind brought on by dodgy curry, which needed several doses of Immodium. This event preceded her first date with the hero. The date predictably became sex, during which he rimmed her and thoroughly licked her arse crack - AFTER she's taken multiple trips to the bog. 🤢🤮
- her bad breath, furry teeth and cheesy tongue. Also her smelly feet and the fat rolls on her abdomen. We are also treated to how often she farts, complete with a full account of the eye-watering stench 🤮.
- how slovenly and quite frankly stupid she is. She leaves dirty knickers wherever, wears threadbare clothing with stains down the front and damp underarms with rank ass, stained Converse in public when she knows she's going to be around posh folks. She's always got sweaty armpits or her makeup is running or she's soiled her top somehow. She's always got to pee or has trapped wind. My overall impression of her is that of a gauche, unwashed, dumpy slob, and a thick-headed one to boot. This h is a Kindergarten teacher FFS. She doesn't think about her actions or possess common sense. She doesn't know how to dress appropriately or properly use makeup, and her self-deprecating attitude really began to grate. What was truly disturbing is that this gross, stinking cow was going to be a mum🥺.
If anyone is inclined to read this anyway, the story is the standard, if unmemorable, contrived nonsense. A ONS ends in another bcp 'failure' 🙄😑 resulting in the pregnancy of someone who should never procreate. And who in their right mind doesn't use a goddamned condom for backup when shagging a stranger?
Anyway, some questionable details about pregnancy and loads moronic fat humour which I loathe because being pregnant is not the same as being obese.
I can almost bet this writer has never had a child and it baffles me why so many writers think it's okay to write about things they know jack shite about.
The hero is rather 1-D and absent through much of the story. The ending is abrupt and unexpected and there's no HEA - in fact, it's barely a HFN.
If your idea of a rom-com is a pig for a heroine and low-brow bodily-function humour, go for it, but I would not recommend this book.
🤮🤮🤮🤮