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Why don't you just leave him?: A true story of Domestic Violence.
This honest and open autobiography is the true story of a young woman trapped in a relationship that was violent and abusive. Coercive control drove her to the depths of despair.
Stacey Jameson had a lack of self-esteem derived from her early childhood. Growing up and dealing with her parents’ divorce, she felt nothing more than an inconvenience to her depressive mother. With severe feelings of inadequacy, she was desperate to be loved and feel that she belonged. When she was a teenager, she met Leon, and fell in love. She had never felt so happy. They had one common denominator; they were both brought up in volatile homes. This was the foundation for a turbulent and destructive relationship. Stacey was welcomed with open arms into the bosom of Leon’s dysfunctional family; naive and impressionable, she finally felt secure and loved.
Stacey’s childhood had made her timid and compliant. Leon’s childhood had made him controlling and narcissistic. Gradually Stacey found herself in an unhappy relationship where her partner thrived on being abusive, yet she still loved him. She was coercively controlled into doing things that just were not part of her character. She was so manipulated; she believed she did not deserve any better.
So often people look on with judgement at others who are in an abusive relationship and say, “Why don’t they just leave?”.
Stacey’s story, just one of millions, describes her journey and why it’s just not so simple to ‘Just leave’ for people who find themselves caught up in a destructive relationship that they just cannot escape from.
Stood in a refuge after leaving her husband she thought to herself, ‘has that really happened to me?’ There was no way she could convey in a short paragraph or conversation, with anyone, the depths of pain she had experienced. Having searched the library for books on domestic violence, there were so many shocking stories, but non she could really relate to. So she felt from that point compelled to write her own story. She wanted to describe the day-to-day living, and how you can get swept away and caught up in an abusive relationship. The book took over twenty years to write and portrays the growth in Stacey over that time.
Stacey Jameson had a lack of self-esteem derived from her early childhood. Growing up and dealing with her parents’ divorce, she felt nothing more than an inconvenience to her depressive mother. With severe feelings of inadequacy, she was desperate to be loved and feel that she belonged. When she was a teenager, she met Leon, and fell in love. She had never felt so happy. They had one common denominator; they were both brought up in volatile homes. This was the foundation for a turbulent and destructive relationship. Stacey was welcomed with open arms into the bosom of Leon’s dysfunctional family; naive and impressionable, she finally felt secure and loved.
Stacey’s childhood had made her timid and compliant. Leon’s childhood had made him controlling and narcissistic. Gradually Stacey found herself in an unhappy relationship where her partner thrived on being abusive, yet she still loved him. She was coercively controlled into doing things that just were not part of her character. She was so manipulated; she believed she did not deserve any better.
So often people look on with judgement at others who are in an abusive relationship and say, “Why don’t they just leave?”.
Stacey’s story, just one of millions, describes her journey and why it’s just not so simple to ‘Just leave’ for people who find themselves caught up in a destructive relationship that they just cannot escape from.
Stood in a refuge after leaving her husband she thought to herself, ‘has that really happened to me?’ There was no way she could convey in a short paragraph or conversation, with anyone, the depths of pain she had experienced. Having searched the library for books on domestic violence, there were so many shocking stories, but non she could really relate to. So she felt from that point compelled to write her own story. She wanted to describe the day-to-day living, and how you can get swept away and caught up in an abusive relationship. The book took over twenty years to write and portrays the growth in Stacey over that time.
252 pages, Paperback
Published February 3, 2019
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Displaying 1 - 8 of 8 reviews
August 10, 2021
This is story about domestic violence. Stacey was married to Leon for many years, while his narcissistic personality caused her untold grief. She stayed in the marriage because she always had hope that things would change. They didn't. She had 2 children she had to protect. It takes many years, however, she finally finds the courage to leave. It is not easy for her, but she thinks she has finally found happiness.
October 19, 2022
This story of Domestic Violence is brutal. This woman was groomed from birth to be violated for life yet she eventually was able to get free. This was a hard read but a good one.
April 14, 2021
Hard to read for me as I’ve loved it myself, although I never feel my experiences are as bad as some such as this!
Well done for telling your story and for the strength to pull through no matter how long it takes! What really resonates with me was how Stacey had two relationships of this nature. I’ve had three with many years between. It really makes you question what is it you are perhaps doing to find yourself here again so to speak! Don’t get me wrong that’s not victim blaming by any stretch! More self assessing on my own part!
This is a fabulous strong story that anyone who wants to know what it’s really like in DA to find out! Yes it’s repetitive and a circle that goes round and round but it’s real! That’s the hard hitting truth of what it’s really like! I liken DA relationships to mental health! Unless you have loved it you are unlikely to ever truly grasp certain behaviours and through processes but reading books like this will take you part way to trying!
Thumbs up Stacey for being brave enough to share your story!
Well done for telling your story and for the strength to pull through no matter how long it takes! What really resonates with me was how Stacey had two relationships of this nature. I’ve had three with many years between. It really makes you question what is it you are perhaps doing to find yourself here again so to speak! Don’t get me wrong that’s not victim blaming by any stretch! More self assessing on my own part!
This is a fabulous strong story that anyone who wants to know what it’s really like in DA to find out! Yes it’s repetitive and a circle that goes round and round but it’s real! That’s the hard hitting truth of what it’s really like! I liken DA relationships to mental health! Unless you have loved it you are unlikely to ever truly grasp certain behaviours and through processes but reading books like this will take you part way to trying!
Thumbs up Stacey for being brave enough to share your story!
September 11, 2025
A very in-depth look at Stacey’s life of domestic violence & control from a young age. Told by Stacey herself after a lot of soul searching, healing and the benefit of both age and hindsight. It was good to hear how she recognizes how she was controlled but could still verbalize how she felt at the time when she was naive & trapped. I felt the book was a bit long with the relationship with Leon taking up so much, only to jump quickly 5 years to her next bad relationship, losing so much insight of her “healing” time.
I’m glad she got her peace and finally a happy ending with a great relationship. Hopefully she was able to break the cycle in her family so her children don’t fall into the same traps or patterns.
I’m glad she got her peace and finally a happy ending with a great relationship. Hopefully she was able to break the cycle in her family so her children don’t fall into the same traps or patterns.
July 11, 2021
I have such mixed feelings about this book. It is self published and written as a true life story - told, not shown. Not my style and I found it difficult to begin with. But it is such a brave tale and I have huge respect for the author telling an honest tale about the horrendous abuse she suffered and how she kept going back to the man who inflicted physical beatings, sexual, financial abuse and tight control because she mistook abuse for affection - having been groomed to be compliant by her controlling mother. I also really admire her telling this story so that others in a similar position might leave and not go back. I feel humbled having read it.
August 29, 2021
It was really hard for me to enjoy this book because of the writing. The story was worth writing, but the actually writing was not the best. I felt so much sympathy and empathy for Stacey. She went through a lot and it is not easy to leave those situations. I’m glad she is healing now.
October 6, 2019
Such a hard hitting and heartbreaking read. I am so glad that Stacey got out in the end, it just goes to show that it's not as easy as just getting up an walking away.
July 22, 2023
What a powerful book this is …. A story of strength , fear but also a story that a lot of us can relate to.
Displaying 1 - 8 of 8 reviews