Expelled

Interplanetary Spy for Hire #1

by Ell Leigh Clarke, Michael Anderle

Heads This first installment of Jayne’s adventures is actually 3 full-length stories. Well, books. It's essentially a boxed set.Jayne Austin wasn’t always the galaxy’s number one spy.

She was expelled from spy school for uncovering a double-agent because apparently, that’s what happens to spies that accomplish great things.

Given a choice between going back to her planet or selling her one-way ticket for starting capital she thought long and hard about her choices.

All of fifteen seconds.

Then, she created ‘the Plan.’

It was a great plan.

A worthy plan.

A noble plan that meant she could start up her own spy agency, and show them precisely who they’ve expelled.

However, when her first case comes in, she begins to wonder if perhaps she bit off too much.

With the fate of the planet in the hands of terrorists, Jayne is forced to up her game and go to lengths she never thought she dared.

She’s going to need *FRIENDS*.



If you love space opera you’re going to love Spy for a literary triumph of majestic accomplishments a laugh-out-loud, spew-your-coffee-over-your kindle swashbuckling page turner that follows the shenanigans and best efforts of a somewhat cavalier ex-government spy, Jayne Austin.

Remember, this first installment of Jayne’s adventures is actually 3 full-length stories. Practically a boxed set.

Download it now to get triple the action, triple the laughs, and triple the excitement!

You’ll be glad you gave it a try…

Genres: Science Fiction

849 pages, Kindle Edition

Published March 28, 2019

About the author

Relapsing theoretical physicist, professional geek, sci fi novelist, and Doctor Who fan.

Though she is originally from England, she is mostly what her friends call a “digital nomad”, hanging in whichever country calls to her… as long as it has good wifi, and coffee.

@ellleighclarke

Official Ell Leigh Clarke Fan Club for book discussions and shenanigans: https://www.facebook.com/groups/ellle... Join Us <3

Reviews

[☘Misericordia☘ ⚡ϟ⚡⛈⚡☁ ❇️❤❣ · Rating 3 out of 5]

One of the tallest tales I’ve ever read and this experience proved to be bad enough to be almost good. Compelling, definitely. Somehow, I didn’t chuck it but rather kept chuckling at how outlandishly these 1-dimentional heroes drove this 2-dimentional plot. A live crash in progress.

Holy shrimp! It’s appearing (or its lack of appearance gets to disappoint Jayne sorely): in takeout, pizza…

Ordering takeout to a bomb site… Shrimp? The pizza and shrimp and whatever delivery guys didn’t have any issues getting through the police cordone. Why is that? Pizza over explosives threat?

What is it with this book and getting stoned? The characters, it seemed, were too busy getting high, being high, thinking of new ways of how to get, you know, high, or even reminiscing about getting high for school lessons in, you guessed it, being properly high. Obviously, they needed to be taught how to get stoned properly. Doing it improperly wouldn’t have made the academic cut.

Porn addiction. And all kinds of sex-related innuendoes. And more than innuendoes. It was supposed to be playful (I think) or maybe James Bond-ish but wound up sounding seriously demented.

A guy managed to fall asleep, literally fall from his chair on a weapon with a container with a bunch of dangerous & toxic & explosive substance, break it open, get it on himself (by his own account, shortening his expected lifetime by 10 years), and then just WASH it off and rinse the container’s pieces... All the while the superspygal stood by and languidly thought along the lines of ‘I hope he hasn’t polluted the whole water supply of the school with that’. Yeah, you better hope, you live on the premises.

I have no idea how they managed to do anything while busy with the previously mentioned activities. Oh, wait, they didn’t get much done. Or did they? I woudn't be bothered to remember, since so much is just general banter or unnecessary or badly planned stuff. So, it goes like some cartoonish story that managed to include both horrible and quite well-hatched ideas.

Well, they got stuff done after all, somehow, thank goodness.

Can’t help wondering: was the author expelled from any school at some point? This fantasy felt like an attempt at personal therapy via writing out one’s flow of unconscious…

Q:
Jayne wasn’t the kind of student who was silenced by her anger. No, she waxed eloquent, instead.(c)
Q:
You’re not just screwing me over. You’re screwing over every student walking these corridors right now! All for one hack born with a silver spoon up his ass. (c)
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This is what happens when you gentrify the universe. (c)
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At the academy, Jayne excelled at interrogation. She knew hacking, bugging, signal blocking, and 32 places on the human body that paralyze the central nervous system when karate-chopped. But she did not know anything about money. (c)
Q:
“You require only two things to live: marketing and accounting. You need to market yourself to earn money, and accounting ability to manage that money.” (c)
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“I don’t think that’s a sensible way to choose your major,”...
"Is there really a sensible way to choose your major?" (c)
Q:
Tek was a popular drink for many reasons, the primary one being the simple fact that getting drunk on it didn’t result in hangovers. It was the result of nearly a millennia of research, fine-tuning, and millions in government funding. (c) This is probably the most stupid line I've ever seen. Spending millennia investigating how to get drunk w/o hangover. Yep. Totally worth it.
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If I hadn’t triple-checked, we’d be sky high and flash-fried. (c)
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“This food is shit, the bombs will explode, you’re feeding me like a baby and I haven’t been laid in a year! I want to fucking die,” (c)
Q:
“Is anyone with a press pass allowed inside the cordon?”
Chief Bjornstrom looked back, exasperated. “For all I care, anyone with a press pass is more than welcome to sit on the bomb and wait.” (c)
Q:
“The good thing about being blown up?” he joked, wiping sandwich crumbs from his mustache “It’s a great way to lose weight.” (c)
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Spy school had prevented her from ever “getting into” drugs, with exception to being trained in their use. … She had gotten stoned for class several times and liked it. (c)
Q:
“Are you sure you’re up to this?”
…“Oh. Because I’m stoned, you mean. Yeah, I’m fine. I do everything stoned. It’s my baseline…. You should see me when I’m off my high. I’m too genius for reality to handle. Or to handle reality. It’s one of those two. I can never decide which.” (c)
Q:
You reek of special training more than I do of weed. (c)
Q:
Four students sat on stools at a counter facing the windows. Their optic monitors were open before them and they scrutinized the contents with an intensity that bordered on pyrokinesis. None of them spoke. There was no time for talking when you needed to get an A+++ . (c)Why pyro?
Q:
Two tables away from the stoner, a goth sipped kava and looked casually at porn while tisking in distaste at everything she saw. (c)
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“Anyone could do it. You could do it. The barista could do it. … Well, maybe not you, but the barista? Sure. Why not? She’s probably used a tablet before.” (c)
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“What do I care if they want me to deliver dumbass, dumbed-down reports that they still struggle to wrap their bald heads around?” (c) Amen. Motto of all consultants worldwide.
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When you really look at something and break it down, you realize every single thing in the universe is fucked up, including you and me. (c)
Q:
“This is the scene at the Tesla University Administration Building, where hundreds of students have gathered to celebrate the possible destruction of the school’s center where disciplinary meetings are held. And I do mean celebrate. As you can see, the students here don’t even attempt to conceal their revelry. Bottles are passed, and a new keg of tek is wheeled in as soon as the first runs dry. Needless to say, they are passing around hand-rolled cigarettes that I dare say don’t contain tobacco.” (c)
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You hack it, they patch it, you hack it again. The cycle of life. (c)
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“Well done. I’m Vlad, a professor of physics here. You are?” … “Merry. Pleased to meet you, Prof. And thanks for the weed.” (c)
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“Get some anchovies on there too,” Fred added.
“No!” the geniuses snapped in unison. (c) Yes, they are dismantling 4 bombs at the time.
Q:
“Boss, do people call Georges Geo?”
“No, Jonah’s only riling you up.” Brandon crossed his legs to stave off the stiffness that settled in from inactivity. “Georges are called George. (c) Actually, they call Georges Geo in Georgia (the country not the state).
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“Guys, what’s wrong with Fred?” …
“I had to give him something to relax. He was freaking out too much. Don’t worry about him. He’ll be fine.” …
“Burning stars, what did you give him, Mantar tranquilizers?” …
“Ooh, no. But do you know where to get some? I haven’t done tar-tran since I was your age…. Now that’s a high I won’t forget. I fell in love with the most beautiful girl. We cruised around low orbit looking at the lights of the planet and made love. It wasn’t until the high faded that I realized she was a figment of my imagination. Oh, she was perfect.” …
“What was she like?”…
“I don’t remember.” …
“Well, what did you give him then?”…
“Vlad gave him weed gummies… He’s super stoned and maybe experiencing some mild hallucinogenic effects. He’ll be fine.”
“You said it was candy. Not cool.” (c)
Q:
“Fine. But once you’ve got them all restrained, I get to fuck with them, okay?” (c) They do have some peculiar notions as to how bombs and humans wielding them should be treated.
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She shook her head and looked at her makeshift hit squad. A porn-loving goth, an irresponsible stoner professor, and a dweeb who sold weapons, had a crush on her, and was so stoned he had gotten distracted pulling the drawstring on his hoodie back and forth.
“I bought this hoodie used… Imagine the lives of all the people who wore this hoodie.” …
They might not have been academy trained, but so far, they’d done pretty well. (c) Uh-huh, of course they did pretty well stoning, porning and selling the same weapons they are looking to disable now. An interesting definition of well.
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the buildings on the outskirts of the academy. Bars and brothels mingled with embassies and corporate offices. (c) Nice mix.
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All the fucking and illegal deals made for a great place to learn espionage. (c) Sure.
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Alfonso himself had an alter ego as Linden Harmony. (c) Is it just me, or is this a ref to Linden Ashby who played in an old spy show?
Q:
Agents like Professor Ana Levitsky, more commonly known as the Sapphire Heart Eater. She’d spent years undercover as a Torsa extremist, designing bombs for them… bombings of many, many other cities. Most people thought the galaxy would have been better off if she had never infiltrated the underground, but she had her orders, and she followed them. (c) They just might be right.
Q:
“That’s crazy, Alfy. She is not someone to fuck with.”
“Tell me about it. Her bedroom is basically a sex dungeon.” (c)
Q:
“Merry, why the hell would you think we’re a spy agency?”
“Because we should be one! We’ve got you, and you’re good at all the in-person stuff. And we’ve got me, and I’m good at all the computer stuff. Jayne, we could make serious money doing this.” (c)
Q:
“When you say ‘less pressure’ I hear ‘less vision’, ‘less opportunities’. I hear ‘less clients’.” Merry’s mania began to take over... (c)
Q:
They cruised past a circular glass skyscraper. Jayne saw hundreds of people hard at work in various offices. She cringed at the thought of working with such a lack of privacy. (c)
Q:
A janitor’s closet, maybe. She and Merry could share it with the janitor. They could give him sex favors in exchange for keeping their presence secret. Hopefully he’d be a sexy janitor. (c)
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Everything was a shade of gray. What mattered most was your side coming out on top while staying on the lighter side of the gray spectrum. (c)
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People were putting together half-truths and forming their own lies. In other words, they were doing half the work for her. (c)
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Cara had already coughed several times in preparation for calling in sick the next day. (с)
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“Be thankful you aren’t in the corporate world, Jayne. The only moral compass here is money and status. Everything else can burn.” (c)
Q:
... I’ll bet you also need gear for the more physical end of things: surveillance gear, night vision features, stun guns, stealth droids, extra tablets, audio and visual bugs…”
As the list went on, Jayne felt dizzier.
“…and dildos!” Merry called out randomly.
“For what?!”
“I’d get a serious kick getting a tax write off for a dildo, so please consider it. ... (c)
Q:
Here, let me lube your brain so the concept slides in…”
“What is going on in that dark mind of yours today?” (c)
Q:
Jayne noted he was good looking— erudite, but a little vanilla... (c)Erudite-looking people. Hmmm... wander what those look like?
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The energy around her was a mix of intense focus and Zen flow. (c)
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It’s like living with a ghost who leaves stuff around. (c)
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“Candy. Nurse Candy.”(c) Oh, gosh.
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“I believe in karma. Maybe if I jerk off your ego, I won’t come back as a strain of E. coli.” (c)
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You never truly leave the agency… Like I’m never going to—” There was a large CRASH from the other room, “truly leave this dress—” (c)
Q:
“Mine was a role of moral support.”
“Ha! I’ve worn broken bras that have been more supportive. Now give me that joint already.” (c)
Q:
Some of the feeling from last night, the confidence, the pride, and the excitement, had stayed with her. She didn’t need to bottle the feeling, after all. (c)
Q:
“Have faith.”...
“Faith is for the unprepared. I prefer rigorous exploitation of data mining and uncovering of secrets.” (c)
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“I’m just hoping everything goes smoothly for you and you’re able to dislodge that stick from your ring hole.” (c)
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“Fred’s dying. Vlad is sober. Merry is horny. And I’m…” She didn’t know what she was. ... “And I’m the best damn spy in the universe.” (c)
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“Get a room! Always the bickering with you two. Only the praying mantis has a more cutthroat mating ritual.” (c)
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Merry continued typing with one hand, rubbed her eyes with the other, and somehow polished off a large portion of her kava. (c)
Q:
“Why can’t we just come in through the ceiling?”...
“Like Santa?”
“Yeah, why not?” (c)
Q:
Don’t they do cavity searches in prison?”
“Sounds like a great time to me.”(c)
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“Champagne espionage on a beer budget…”... “That totally belongs on our business cards.” (c)
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Ms. Winterbourne may be seriously mentally disturbed, but she has a point. (c)
Q:
“You two need to move along.”
“Are we not allowed to be here, officer?”...
“What’s your hippopotamus?”
Vlad stared at the officer for several seconds, bewildered. “Hippopo—Hypothesis! You mean hypothesis! My, are you a scientist as well?”
The officer blushed a little and shrugged. “I’m more of a dabbler than anything…” ...
“Our hypothesis is: Groups of individuals create larger energy loops between them and the earth than individual, erm, individuals. However, smaller groups and individuals create a purer energy loop between them and the earth. A small, pure energy loop is more powerful than a larger energy loop.”
The officer scratched his chin. “That’s an interesting hippocampus. I never thought of it that way…” (c)
Q:
Heavy smog, brown and caustic as nicotine tar, boiled slowly up through the metal grating of the walkway to coil around Jayne's boots. She walked fast, her steps ringing on the metal. But the sound was lost in the clamor of voices and vehicles which came like a constant roar from the levels below her, their origins lost in the fog of pollution. Jayne turned up the music playing in her headphones to drown it all out. Behind dark glasses and a white filter mask meant to keep the smog out of her eyes and her lungs, she was just another faceless stranger hurrying through the choking air. (c)
Q:
Seriously, Jayne, if I have to listen to your cheating spouse speech, then I should be able to finish my clean air monologue. (c)
Q:
"Not everything can be car chases and explosions, Jayne," Merry said with a sigh. "Doing the research is an important part of the work."
"I bet I could find a way to do the research that involved car chases and explosions," (c)
Q:
As soon as he shows up, witnesses back out, evidence gets lost, and the press suddenly finds more interesting things to report on. He's a fixer. (c)
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If it was a disaster at least it would be an exciting one. (c)
Q:
"And how many times have you handled an exchange like this?"
"Never."
"My point exactly."
"That means I have a great track record though," Jayne said, smiling a little. "I've never failed."
"That's not how math works," (c)
Q:
Walking with a purpose would get you most places unchallenged. (c)
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She hoped that guard could forgive her for kicking his ass or, even better, maybe he was into it. (c)
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“We know about Burrett, Jayne.”...
“Wow. We must read the same news sites.” (c)
Q:
“I’m alive!” Jayne snapped, followed by an explosive sound that temporarily overwhelmed the mic. When it returned Jayne was snarling a string of highly creative expletives. “—and play tug of war with a backhoe and the largest god damn pineapple I can fucking find!”
“Uh, is this a bad time?” (c)
Q:
“Are the lasers an allegory for your shitty childhood? Huh? Do they symbolize the time your high school girlfriend gave you an STD? Get it? ‘Cause they’re red and burning and annoying as hell!” (c)
Q:
She laughed maniacally as she began setting the room on fire, charging forward to burn down the next room as well. ...
“I’ve got to focus on keeping Jayne from burning the building down with everyone in it and trying to locate Fred in this bullshit.” (c)
Q:
“I found you because I have a team. I have a brilliant hacker. I have a goofy, but ultimately courageous, connection to the black market. I have a stoned-out-of-his-mind engineering genius. I have a cop who understands right from wrong. I have more than you’ll ever have. You need me. But why would I ever need you?” (c) They do like their monologues.

HORRIBLE language (there's even a 'living bombshell walking'):
Q:
She felt a small platonic flutter in her heart for this sardonic nerd girl. (c)

[Philip · Rating 5 out of 5]

Was expecting Molly, got way more

Sometime when you read an Author works, you started to expect that her next work will be the same. Not with Ellie and MA, they keep on building it up! Jayne might sounds a bit like Molly, but it is way more. Enough said, just read it yourself!

[Darren Wiseman · Rating 5 out of 5]

Lots of fun!

I enjoyed the Molly series, though this is far more exuberant; Molly could be a bit saccharine-sweet at times, though these characters are definitely not - and it's great! Good laughs, good characters, lots of sneaky references to catch, looking forward to seeing where this series goes.

[Tony Hisgett · Rating 2 out of 5]

There was an interesting start to the book and I instantly liked Jayne, unfortunately it didn’t take long for my initial enthusiasm to wear off.
The characters were quite ‘wooden’ and even after a hundred pages I still had no idea about the society and world Jayne inhabited. It also felt like the author was just making things up as she went along. About this point it became fairly clear that what I was reading was more ‘Comic book’ than novel.

The story settled down once they formed the ISA and their first case wasn’t bad, unfortunately I felt the second case got away from the author and was not only ridiculous, but became quite tedious, especially as it was also too long. By the end of the book I no longer cared what was happening and I’m afraid I won’t be reading any follow up books. It’s a pity as I thought Jayne and Merry had potential.

[Nigel Frankcom · Rating 5 out of 5]

A good meaty tome

I sort of tripped over this and was not disappointed. A series of 3 fun tales combined to make a satisfying book. The disparate individuals that join together to become the good guys are an engaging bunch and it will be interesting to see how they evolve. As with all the books from ELC and MA, you will learn something new, be it arcane rhyme definitions or some interesting chemistry/biology (amongst many other titbits).

[Barbara Dunbar · Rating 4 out of 5]

Expelled

I had to pay attention to keep up with the spectator that went on. The characters were well thought out and lots of action.

[joseph w clouser · Rating 5 out of 5]

Really really amazing

Start to a series. I couldn't put it down. The characters are funny and the action is intense. Hopefully it won't be a long wait for the next book.

[Charles Wood · Rating 5 out of 5]

Expelled

Wow! Spy for Hire is a winner right out of the gate. Jayne Austen is a great character and the others are fantastic as well. This book is several stories in one, each fascinating and full of action. You don't want to miss this book. Ell Leigh, you've done it again. Kudos.

[Nac · Rating 3 out of 5]

It was a bit too long due to the fillers, 737 pages could have been cut down to under 500 pages because all the extra did not add to the story.
Plus all the hacking Merry did it was just too easy to have happened, same with Jayne until near the end when she was chasing Burret, it all fell into place too easily, all in all the premise of the story was not to bad, but I don't think I will be reading the sequel.

[Janyce · Rating 5 out of 5]

Lots of fun with a wacky crew of characters

This was a lot of fun. It started out a little slow, but then the story later picked up. I loved all the characters - Merry who's the tech genius, Vlad who's a professor who always smoked pot, and of course Jayne the main character with all her strengths and flaws. It was action packed through the whole book.

[Veronica · Rating 5 out of 5]

Action!

A new series with a strong woman leading the way. Jayne is not interested in taking a back seat to anyone, and is leading the way with a vengeance. The storyline is well crafted and the interactions between the various characters is well done. This is rather dark in places, but it’s of humour as well to lighten things up along the way. Another great series!

[MKYHome · Rating 5 out of 5]

Outstanding

We are all parts of systems and scapegoats are required. Some are brought in early and others later. Maybe got the boot early on and unlike many others was able to float above in a similar but different system. Totally raced across the pages as the authors built worlds and developed characters.

[Michael P. Dunn · Rating 2 out of 5]

I don't DNF books...until now. I tried to read this twice, both times making it to about the same point, around thirty percent. The initial adventure was engaging enough, but afterwards, the story starts to drag, and the characters seem to just be going through the motions. I thought Jayne had some promise, but neither she nor Merry were holding my attention.

[Frank Bertino · Rating 5 out of 5]

A Romp Through Danger

Maybe was expelled from spy school for political reasons even though she was at the top of the class. I liked the banter among characters. Jayne is competent and compelling, yet vulnerable. I like the action, humor, and lust/romance. I look forward to the next book.

[Steve · Rating 5 out of 5]

Okay, I'll admit to hitting my face with the Kindle late a night.

Wow! More than a bit long but an excellent story. I am looking forward to the next book but I will take a break to read something a bit less strssful! Still, all in all, an excellent book with a highly enjoyable storyline!

[Larry · Rating 4 out of 5]

I have to admit that several times I thought of just abandoning this book and moving on, but I stuck with it to the end. The characters were interesting, the plot wasn't all that easy to follow, but the premise made up for it, helping others and stopping a madman. I do recommend this book, but be prepared for a long haul.

[Volpot · Rating 2 out of 5]

2 stars. DNF at 33%. The book was well written. But it seemed to have no soul. It was basically a long book of snark and banter to no end that I could discern. In other words, a glorified "hip" comic book. Now others may like this type of book. Not me.

[Charles Stenberg · Rating 5 out of 5]

I enjoyed this book. Lots of action and interesting characters. Just the right amount of humor. In my opinion it is more of a "Detective" novel than "Sci-Fi" but a very good one! I look forward to reading Book 2.

[Peter Bruyns · Rating 5 out of 5]

Great for YA's

This story is absolutely written for the young at heart and young in nature! No question that those people will sign up immediately for book two in this "who dunnit" series.

[Mark · Rating 4 out of 5]

Fun for a good time and nice read

Sometimes it was a bit slow I got to like charters and their interactions. The City was like one we have expect that it was vertical not horizontal

[James Draper · Rating 4 out of 5]

Really liked all of the characters. Thought the story was solid and fun. Difficult tasks are just a little bit too easy sometimes (like breaking someone out of high security prison), but overall I would recommend it to anyone looking for an action story. I will be reading the next one as well.

[Captain Dunsel · Rating 2 out of 5]

Sometimes funny, sometimes sad, but my main objection is how uneven the created world is. Lots of 20th century ideas and styles, with limited futuristic technology. Not sure if I'll read the sequel.

[Howard Stallings · Rating 5 out of 5]

Twisted like a DNA SAMPLE!

SO GOOD!!
Jayne and her cohorts really get into the wild weird don't they?
Freaky fun!!
Can't wait for more

Howard S

[Daniellela94 · Rating 5 out of 5]

Wow!!!

Just...wow. Immensely enjoyed this first book of this series. E an !pre than the Ascension Myth surprisingly. The problem of the war on the.poor. I

[Fredric E Finch · Rating 4 out of 5]

Long bit good...

Could have made at least 3 books in a series.
Now o have to wait for the next book.
Bummer!

[John McDougal · Rating 3 out of 5]

Bounces around a lot. Sort of lost me

[Dana · Rating 3 out of 5]

Slow

Although a good concept the book drags along in certain segments. It makes the reader lose interest and have to go back

[Jeff · Rating 4 out of 5]

Great story

I enjoyed this book with the future where we keep building on top of the old. Jayne is great spy and she learn she better with her team.

[Tim Peters · Rating 5 out of 5]

Very much enjoyed reading this.

[Ted Camer · Rating 5 out of 5]

Great Series

A great start to the series. I look forward to seeing what happens next. A great author and a great series.