When you’re pregnant you think: ‘I’m having a baby’, not a person who will eventually catch trains by themselves, share a fridge with ten strangers, go to a festival in Croatia without succumbing to a drug overdose, and one day, bring you a gin and tonic when your mother is dying.
We imagine the teenage years as a sort of domestic meteor strike, when our dear, sweet child, hitherto so trusting and mild, is suddenly replaced by a sarcastic know-all who isn’t interested in the wisdom we have to pass on. But with great honesty and refreshingly bracing wit, Stephanie Calman shows that adolescence in fact begins much earlier, around the age of seven.
And having nurtured them through every stage of development, from walking to school by themselves to their first all-night party, you find yourself alone – bereaved even – as they skip off to university without a second glance.
Candid, touching and very, very funny, Confessions of a Bad Mother: The Teenage Years offers hope to despairing and exhausted parents everywhere. Read it and discover that your teenager is not the enemy after all.
This is the book that all parents of teenagers, or coming up to teenagers, need to read.
Frank, disarmingly honest and uproariously funny, it will have you punching the air and yelling 'ME TOO!' which is quite alarming on public transport -or so I have been told, ahem.
I am the mother of 5 girls, we have managed to navigate the waters of adulthood for the eldest 2, the younger 3 , meanwhile, are tipping into puberty and we are tipping ourselves into our grownup pants, and ordering in the medicinal red wine.
We look at the eldest, still marvelling how she is old enough to have children when she , at one point, couldn't point out countries on a globe. The second eldest should really not be going to Glastonbury on her own, yet she is about to graduate with a first class honours degree in MENTAL HEALTH NURSING! How did that even happen?!
This is where, unlike a lot of other mum-manuals, this book pitches itself at all types of parents by openly sharing anecdotes which have a communality to all readers who have teens. The relationship changes and as much as you do not want to let go, these amazing young people are only able to step out into the world and be their own selves because you gave them the coping strategies to do this.
They are suddenly these fully formed people with opinions, ideas and aspirations and seeing them become themselves is a beautiful thing. Teenager-dom is fraught with worries and concerns, this does not propose to be a manual on how to survive the teenage years so much as a reminder that you got this. You can cope. And on the other side is a beautiful place to be. Instead of bracing yourself for the full on teen onslaught, you find that by working with that teen, the transition is better for both parties.
I absolutely enjoyed it, and would thoroughly recommend this book.
Huge thanks to Tracy Fenton of Comulsive Readers for the blogtour invite, as well as Picador for my copy of the book, and Stephanie Calman, for writing such a beautiful, compassionate and well thought out book(that also makes you laugh more than is safe for someone who has given birth 4 times!)
*I voluntarily reviewed this book from the tour organiser
Hilarious, poignant, and relatable on so many levels, CONFESSIONS OF A BAD MOTHER, THE TEENAGE YEARS by Stephanie Calman is a must-read for parents at every stage of their parenting journey.
As is so wonderfully portrayed in this book, the beginning of your children becoming independent and more mature is not a sudden light switch moment on their thirteenth birthday but a gradual shift as they begin to find their way into their own personalities. But what about you, the parent? How do you cope with your kids becoming independent people in their own right (and pointing out to you everything that you do and say wrong all the time, lol!)? Your kids who still need you but not always in the same way as before as they become adults themselves. Well, this book will certainly open your eyes to your future in so many ways.
There were so many times where I laughed and commiserated with the drama and antics in CONFESSIONS OF A BAD MOTHER, and there were also times where I got emotional because I'm a parent who wants my kids to flourish, grow, and make their way into the big bad world, but it is an awfully big, bad world at times and I also want to protect them from what life may throw at them. This book really hit home for me and made me stop and think so many times that I believe it should to be on every bookshelf in the country!
CONFESSIONS OF A BAD MOTHER, THE TEENAGE YEARS by Stephanie Calman is sure to be a huge hit and I highly recommend it.
A brilliant book that I wish I could have read when my son started his journey to independence, a journey I was so unprepared for. It didn't happen as late as I'd hoped, for example, when he was 13, a teenager, or leaving home for university, but started when he was 7 or 8. Don't get me wrong, it was great to see him grow into his own person but when they have been your main focus for so long, it's hard. You worry if what you're saying or doing is right and nothing you do is 'cool'. By being completely honest, Stephanie Calman's book makes you realise you weren't alone in experiencing such emotions and even better, you laugh out loud because you can see how irrational some of your thoughts were or are. As well as laugh out loud funny, it is a very reassuring and often quite touching read. I love how it's been put together, relatively short chapters on age but also subjects, one of my favourites was 'Orange is Not the Only Black'. I would recommend all parents to read this, it will make you laugh but also think about things a different way, maybe helping you to understand your growing child more. It did that for me.
Oops another one I forgot to review on here! I used to love reading Stephanie Calman’s column in the Saturday Telegraph years ago, so I was thrilled to receive the invite onto this blog tour. I loved reading about her children, Lydia and Lawrence and was so excited to be reacquainted with her family once again.
This was such a fun book, full of hilarious, sweet and poignant, anecdotes from when the author’s children began to turn into teenagers, right up until they left home to go off to uni. I laughed out loud on so many occasions when I was reading this, as well nodding vigorously agreeing with the author, especially when Peter, her husband manages to be portrayed as the cooler parent all the time!!
One of my favourite anecdotes was when a friend with older children encourages her to pay an interest in what Lydia is watching on TV. She then goes on to describe how hard it was to find something she could actually enjoy watching with her. I completely understood this as my son is always watching his favourite YouTubers and it’s quite difficult to find something I’d enjoy as well.
Particularly poignant are the stories about her son Lawrence’s comings and goings from university. I really felt for her as he arrives home, ignores her hugging his sister instead. She’s desperate to keep quite and not make a fuss because he particularly asked her not to, how hard must that have been!
I loved this book, and thoroughly recommend it one if you’re looking for a nonfiction book that will make you laugh and also help you through those awkward teenage years.
Ignore all the suggestions about reading this when your child is a toddler, or a pre-teen! Read it before you even plan on having a baby – perhaps before you even consider getting married!
For those of you who have already dipped your toes into the choppy waters of teenage-hood, I hand you a virtual gin and tonic (pink gin?? yes, why not, you’ve earned it!) as you settle down to read this. If you’re expecting a ‘how-to’ manual … hang on while I just have a not-so-quiet chuckle here … did you actually think that such a thing existed?? Seriously darling, if it did then men would be having kids by now!! It’s definitely NOT a ‘how-to’ book AT all, but you can expect plenty of real laugh-out-loud moments and also more than a few genuinely ugly-cry ones too! But throughout, you will be able to relate to just about everything that is in these pages. And if you dare to think to yourself “Ha, my kid didn’t do that, thank goodness!” Well just you wait … your kid has something much more horrendous stored up their sleeve. They’re just waiting for the right time – when you’re least expecting! The most important thing to know when you have teens: never, ever relax!!
If anything, this book is a reminder that we parents are not alone. We’re in this together, no matter how isolated and lost we might feel, and how often we might be feeling it. And truly, this is how our teens are often feeling. Eventually though, after their years of awful-ness, those years when we barely recognise them as the adorable babies we gave birth to, those cute kiddies who said the funniest things, they do return to us, surprisingly wholly and quite well formed.
The truth is, we bring up our children so that they become independent, self-sufficient, contributing members of society. But for some reason, when they attempt to do this, when they assert the freedom that we’ve worked so hard to instil in them, it’s us who often fight the hardest to hold them back! Calman brings us a reminder that they do actually find their own way, in their own way. We’re generally good enough parents and as a result, these teens of ours turn out pretty ok in the end and we get to be proud of the finished product – well, is it ever really finished?! You know what I mean – ok, so not the finished product then … the work in progress!
As a parent of a 7 almost 8 year old and a two year old, I couldn't help but laugh out loud (snort beverages out of my nose) when reading this completely agreeable read about parenthood, especially motherhood. Life is always like a rollercoaster with a child. Stephanie hits the nails on the head with every chapter; motherhood isn't a ball park, it's trials and tribulations but best of all, it's rewarding - there is a glorious light at the end of the tunnel! and totally see where the author was coming from. I knew that I was going to fall in love with this book after reading chapter one, where the author tells us briefly about a disastrous dual over a stick. Yup, a wooden tree stick! This happens everyday in my house, what one child wants the other 100% must have *pulls hair out.* My point is that anyone, who has ever been around a child will find themselves nodding at various antidotes and occurrences! A positively fantastic concoction of humour and sensibility. I applaud Stephanie Calman.
I found that this book reassured me that the tantrums, disagreements and disastrous moments that I sometimes feel 'why me?!' don't just happen to me, it allows a sense of community; we are all doing the best we can with what we've got, that's all we can do and that's all our kids need! Our lovely, kind, beautiful mutant kids!
We don't only teach children things about life, they teach us. The morals entwined within the chapters of The Confessions of a Bad Mother - The Teenage Years include conflict. Stephanie talks about how her youngest 'argues' with her friend, then everything is fine, not ignoring calls for days, angry eyes etc. within minutes they're best friends again. This is definitely one thing that we could learn from these small little individuals.
Thank-you Stephanie for writing this nothing closed off view point of motherhood, how you have to roll with the punches, that no-one is doing a bad job and that parentage is a learning curve, with all the mistakes on the way developing our kids state of mind and independence. The Confessions of a Bad Mother - The Teenage Years is a hilariously, absorbing read of parenthood that I got absorbed into and just couldn't put down!
This book is a parenting guide which features author Stephanie Calman's own children, Lawrence and Lydia, starting from the age of around 7 & 8 when kids start to show some typical teenage tendencies and takes us all the way through to the age of 18, when they fly the nest and disappear to University, and parents reach a new stage in their lives. Calman has such a great way of writing - the book is full of anecdotes and events in their family's life and how her and her husband Peter deal with them. All the things we as parents worry about such as their first trip solo on public transport, parties, curfews, friends, girlfriends and boyfriends, alcohol and leaving home to step into the big wide world! This book made me laugh out loud on several occasions. I guess it is parenting manual of sorts, but presented in a light hearted, yet relatable way. I have a teenage son of 17 who is often sullen but doesn't give us much trouble and a 12 year old son who is lovely at the moment but I'm still waiting to see what happens! Offering advice on navigating the shift from teenage years to adulthood; dealing with the death of a parent, as a parent and encouraging independence, I think the message to take away is that all kids are different and we are all doing the best we can. One piece of advice I did take away was trying to encourage some independence, especially around the house. Considering the older one could be going to Uni next year, I should probably teach him a couple of basic meals and show him how to use a washing machine! A really entertaining read, suitable for parents of kids of any ages, I looked forward to picking this up because it made me smile! Ironically, even though it is called Confessions of a Bad Mother, Stephanie is anything but!
I don’t have children but you don’t have to to appreciate the humour and goings on. Every chapter has something that will take you back to your own childhood and to that of any children you have. I couldn’t help but laugh out loud, drawing attention from people around me wondering what I was laughing at.
Remember the arguments you had with your siblings or friends that seemed life shattering at the time only to be making up with them a few hours later. Remember the parents who had different ideas of how things should be done. How about talking back to your parents because you knew best and they were too old to understand. This book has it all.
For parents out there this is a must read. Kids from all walks of life have their hissy fits, pull at the heartstrings, pit mum and dad against each other.
Stephanie Calman has such a brilliant way of putting all of the trials and tribulations of bringing up teenagers in this beautifully hilarious book. Writing from her own experiences makes this a refreshing read which most people will related to in one way or another.
If you have or have had children, have experienced the teen years of parenting, of have teens in your life, this is the prefect book for you to read!
From start to end the book is full of relatable scenarios that will have you laughing until your sides hurt and tears are in your eyes, or fist pumping the air saying “YES exactly!” Situations that are hilariously honest and comfortingly realistic flow from page to page in a way that gives comfort to those teetering on the edge of parenting insanity.
The book was just SO much fun to get stuck into, it’s easy to read and gripping in the lighthearted and comical prose. I found myself varying between snickering to myself or outright laughing. At various points through the book i had to put it down because I couldn’t stop chuckling away to myself.
It’s the prefect read to wind down or cheer up with, and an amazing companion to take the edge off the tougher days that go with the territory of raising children. You are not alone, and with this book to hand you’ll easily see that!
This is not so much a book about dealing with teenagers than a mother stealth-boasting about how excellently her children have turned out and how maturely they handle every milestone. Either she very unreasonably really does have zero faith in their abilities as humans or she is pretending not to.
Her children are privately-schooled and are gifted in many areas including taxidermy, cookery, guitar, knitting, outdoor pursuits, maths, etc., etc. They are also good looking and have a great sense of style. They are emotionally well-adjusted and thoughtful. They sound like lovely people but I am not sure why they are the subject of a book. It feels a bit like being stuck next to another mum at a school event who then talks at you for hours about her wonderful kids and whether you are genuinely pleased for her but wonder why she is insisting on sharing all this or whether you can't cope with the smug monologue and want to demand whether she knows how lucky she is, you are trying to edge politely away.
Wow, what a laugh! Absolutely loved the humour in this and I think any parent will feel exactly the same.
I will be facing the teenage years in less than three short years and felt this was a great introduction to that period – much better than the other teenager parenting guide available and definitely more funny!
I recommend this to all parents, whatever your age of child as you will still identify with parts of the book in the pre-teen and toddler stages. Touching, honest and laugh out loud, a big hit for me and a really enjoyable read.
Het audioboek was een plezier om naar te luisteren. Verhalen die ontzettend herkenbaar zijn werden langzaam ingeruild voor blikken op een mogelijke toekomst. Lachen en serieuzere momenten wisselden elkaar af en waren goed in evenwicht, waardoor het een beetje jammer voelde toen beide kinderen volwassen waren en het boek eindigde.
Ik zal mezelf dan maar gelukkig prijzen dat de tienerhormonen hier hun hoogtepunt nog niet bereikt hebben zeker?
The first half was definitely better than the second and made me chuckle a few times :) as a mum to two teenage girls I understood this book in many different ways :)