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Everybody Died, So I Got a Dog
The funny, heart-breaking, wonderfully told story of love, family and overwhelming loss which led Emily Dean to find hope and healing in the dog she always wanted.
Growing up with the Deans was a fabulous training ground for many things: ignoring unpaid bills, being the most entertaining guest at dinner, deconstructing poetry. It was never home for the dog Emily craved.
Emily shared the lively chaos with her beloved older sister Rachael, her rock. Over the years the sisters bond grew ever closer. As Rachael went on to have the cosy family and treasured dog, Giggle, Emily threw herself into unsettled adventure - dog ownership remaining a distant dream.
Then, tragically, Rachael is diagnosed with cancer. In just three devastating years Emily loses not only her sister but both her parents as well.
This is the funny heart-breaking, wonderfully told story of how Emily discovers that it is possible to overcome the worst that life can throw at you, that it's never too late to make peace with your past, and that the right time is only ever now, as she finally starts again with her very own dog - the adorable Shih-tzu named Raymond.
304 pages, Paperback
Published January 23, 2020
120 people are currently reading
3166 people want to read
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 235 reviews
May 4, 2019
This is my kind of book.... the title tells the story, as Emily says herself at the beginning of the book, but the story behind it is funny, sad, honest, moving and ultimately uplifting. Emily writes incredibly well and with such great humour all the way through. She explains how she struggles in such a way that I feel like I know her extremely well after reading this book. It’s fabulous and I recommend it to everyone. The family dynamics fascinated me as well. A really great tale, and one told with humour and honesty. I meant to say, Emily Dean writes in a very similar way to Nina Stibbe, whose writing I also love. The stories about childhood really reminded me of “Love, Nina”.
March 9, 2019
Firstly, full disclosure, I have listened to Emily on the Frank Skinner podcast for years and love her attitude and sense of humour. As soon as I heard she would be doing the Walking the Dog podcasts I started listening and haven't missed one, they are brilliant, so I was aware of some of her background and bereavements but couldn't wait to read the book and get the full story.
This book has not disappointed. It is beautifully written (as expected) very entertaining and heart-breaking in parts, however, I smiled more often than I cried. Thank you Emily for telling your family's story and of course that of Raymond and Treacle.
This book has not disappointed. It is beautifully written (as expected) very entertaining and heart-breaking in parts, however, I smiled more often than I cried. Thank you Emily for telling your family's story and of course that of Raymond and Treacle.
March 18, 2019
Gorgeous.
April 9, 2019
I cried and laughed and squeezed my dog a little bit tighter after reading this book. Brilliant!
“Everyone is guilty - no one is to blame.”
“Everyone is guilty - no one is to blame.”
April 27, 2020
"Dogs are emotionally and mentally wired to live in the eternal present with no sense of the future. So they experienced loss as a sustained forlorn waiting rather than a permanent absence. Basically, they never quite give up on the idea that the person might return."The book I needed right now. I really didn't know what to expect when picking up, despite loving Emily's podcast (she interviews celebrities while on a dog walk...killer concept!), but my mum (who I share a Kindle library with but tears through books at a scarily fast rate...especially now, during lockdown!) insisted it was well worth reading. It's all there in the title, but how Emily honestly shares her family's dynamics and differences, then retells what she was put through in just a couple of years... My heart broke for her! And of course her observations about dogs are wise and 100% accurate, and I am not in any way biased. My dog definitely has "Shih Tzu Syndrome" and he's not even a Shih Tzu (he's a Lhasa Apso, basically the Tibetan variant of the Shih Tzu, so close enough!).
April 7, 2020
Preferred the stronger first part from when Dean is a child in the 1980s up to when her sister dies. The momentum droops in the later parts: the last third of the book is a bit weaker. Very enjoyable on the whole though.
September 6, 2022
Can Mimi stop recommending books that make me cry?
Was looking for something that I wouldn’t be able to put down, and this was just that. So well written and such a moving story, with moments of fun and hope alongside the sadness. Be prepared to cry…
Was looking for something that I wouldn’t be able to put down, and this was just that. So well written and such a moving story, with moments of fun and hope alongside the sadness. Be prepared to cry…
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January 2, 2025DNF
I wanted to be invested, the title is gripping enough, but over 60 pages in and I am no where near invested.
I know I’ve read those 60 pages and I can tell you some bits, but I think I drifted off for the last 10 of them.
She’s clearly incredibly intelligent, uses some beautiful words and some sentences really were written with such a flourish but I have more books that I know I will read that I want to get to, so I’m putting this down and admitting defeat.
I wanted to be invested, the title is gripping enough, but over 60 pages in and I am no where near invested.
I know I’ve read those 60 pages and I can tell you some bits, but I think I drifted off for the last 10 of them.
She’s clearly incredibly intelligent, uses some beautiful words and some sentences really were written with such a flourish but I have more books that I know I will read that I want to get to, so I’m putting this down and admitting defeat.
June 16, 2019
“Dog families punished you for misdemeanours by sending you to your room or withholding your pocket money. Not by sticking a series of handwritten Shakespeare quotes up on cupboards. ‘This above all: to thine own self be true’ or more hauntingly, ‘Cowards die many times before their deaths.’
.
.
.
Emily’s father was a BBC broadcaster and her mother an actor. She and her sister Rachel survived a childhood of intellectual chaos. Bailiffs were invited in for tea, final demands were used as coasters and granny was on amphetamines. Through all of this, “dog families” represented the stable family life that Emily craved and that Rachel built around herself as an adult.
From 2012-2015, Emily loses Rachel followed by her mother and then her father. This memoir is extraordinary for Emily’s ability to write about the most traumatic of subjects with a lightness and wry humour. I swung from laughter to tears, often within the same chapter. Emily writes about therapy, the Hoffman Process and how she comes to a sense of herself out of the context of the family that shaped her. She also creates her own dog family when she gets Raymond, a tiny shih tzu that looks a lot like an ewok (you really have to look at her Instagram @emilyrebeccadean because Ray is adorable.) A very human story of how we survive grief and loss, I loved this book and I also enjoy Emily’s podcast Walking the Dog for @TheTimes often featuring Raymond himself ❤️
.
.
.
Emily’s father was a BBC broadcaster and her mother an actor. She and her sister Rachel survived a childhood of intellectual chaos. Bailiffs were invited in for tea, final demands were used as coasters and granny was on amphetamines. Through all of this, “dog families” represented the stable family life that Emily craved and that Rachel built around herself as an adult.
From 2012-2015, Emily loses Rachel followed by her mother and then her father. This memoir is extraordinary for Emily’s ability to write about the most traumatic of subjects with a lightness and wry humour. I swung from laughter to tears, often within the same chapter. Emily writes about therapy, the Hoffman Process and how she comes to a sense of herself out of the context of the family that shaped her. She also creates her own dog family when she gets Raymond, a tiny shih tzu that looks a lot like an ewok (you really have to look at her Instagram @emilyrebeccadean because Ray is adorable.) A very human story of how we survive grief and loss, I loved this book and I also enjoy Emily’s podcast Walking the Dog for @TheTimes often featuring Raymond himself ❤️
February 11, 2022
I feel a bit mean only giving this three stars, partly because of how heartfelt the subject matter clearly is, but mainly because for the first hundred pages, where Emily Dean describes her unconventional, anarchic family life growing up, it is very, very funny, and I liked that part enormously.
The trouble is - and I feel like an absolute swine for saying this, believe me - the middle part, the "Everybody Died" part, left me rather cold. Its sincerity, veracity and frankness are all readily apparent, and all wholly commendable, but unfortunately I don't think Dean brings enough to the table as a writer to distinguish it from any number of very similar memoirs of loss and grief - it lacks, for example, the cannonball-to-the-solar-plexus impact of Levels of Life (another book that I have my issues with, but the final third, in which Julian Barnes drops the laborious metaphors and speaks bluntly but lyrically about the death of his wife, is really something). I think the main difficulty, and one for which there's no obviously elegant solution, is that Dean's strength as a writer lies in her sharp and very irreverent humour, which quite understandably has no place in this middle part of the book.
Fortunately, the part that I found (*whisper it*) rather flat is bookended by the very funny opening and then by a similarly funny, and very sweet, final segment (the "So I Got a Dog" part). I'm not a fanatical dog person, but Raymond the Shih Tzu does seem pretty neat.
The trouble is - and I feel like an absolute swine for saying this, believe me - the middle part, the "Everybody Died" part, left me rather cold. Its sincerity, veracity and frankness are all readily apparent, and all wholly commendable, but unfortunately I don't think Dean brings enough to the table as a writer to distinguish it from any number of very similar memoirs of loss and grief - it lacks, for example, the cannonball-to-the-solar-plexus impact of Levels of Life (another book that I have my issues with, but the final third, in which Julian Barnes drops the laborious metaphors and speaks bluntly but lyrically about the death of his wife, is really something). I think the main difficulty, and one for which there's no obviously elegant solution, is that Dean's strength as a writer lies in her sharp and very irreverent humour, which quite understandably has no place in this middle part of the book.
Fortunately, the part that I found (*whisper it*) rather flat is bookended by the very funny opening and then by a similarly funny, and very sweet, final segment (the "So I Got a Dog" part). I'm not a fanatical dog person, but Raymond the Shih Tzu does seem pretty neat.
March 10, 2020
I was “just” browsing in the bookstore when the title caught my eye (wasn’t expecting to find anything, tbh). The story caught me completely off guard as I did not expect to experience the rollercoaster of emotions that I did while reading.
Reading about her grief made me relive mine. Reading about finding herself made me hopeful. Ultimately, I finished this book feeling uplifted and a lil’ less alone.
Emily Dean wrote beautifully; with a sense of humour and raw honesty. I cried and laughed through this book. You know how some books hit you in the gut and you just relate? This was that book for me.
Reading about her grief made me relive mine. Reading about finding herself made me hopeful. Ultimately, I finished this book feeling uplifted and a lil’ less alone.
Emily Dean wrote beautifully; with a sense of humour and raw honesty. I cried and laughed through this book. You know how some books hit you in the gut and you just relate? This was that book for me.
June 9, 2019
The first half is like a real life “I Capture the Castle” and the second is sad but ultimately uplifting - and it made me want a dog. Listened to the audiobook which was read by the author and it was a great listen - she does the voices very well. I really enjoyed this.
June 11, 2021
Witty, exceptionally written, and very quintessentially British… this is a great light hearted read despite its subject matter.
June 25, 2020
Enjoyed listening to this on audible whilst out walking... Further fuelled how much I love dogs!
June 11, 2021
Sad, funny, occasionally over-analysing but heartfelt and lovely. I still don't want a dog.
February 22, 2023
Reflections and lessons learned:
“My life felt like Mike Leigh had agreed to direct an episode of Sex and the City. (But got fired for being too British and gritty. And depressing.)”
When I first read the title of this book I laughed - I’d read it in a tone of a life helmet firmly screwed on and with a shrug: go on then - I’ll get that pet that I always wanted as it’s now as convenient life moment. But then whilst reading the book, it struck me of what a dog could actually stand for. As a family, when I was growing up we had dogs and it did provide structure. A reason to be at home, and most of the time together, almost like an anchor. For us the dogs sat in an armchair in the window (own armchair as they were big dogs - my Nan futilely tried to share it sometimes to much social discomfort). Coming home from the life necessities of school and work, the dog would be an immediate welcome face, and an excitable jump… but I now realise it was more than that too. It was a creature that we needed to be there for in so many ways, as we couldn’t explain the complexities of life to them. Walks and food would need to be at regular times for the same reason. Like family, dogs need us, and that’s a safe feeling in life.
I didn’t realise that I knew Dean, but I’d listened to the Frank Skinner radio show so instantly knew the voice. The story took me by surprise of how movingly it was all conveyed - and I must admit made me have proper existential crisis feels as a person with much of her family still present. Hard but not looking for sympathy… and some good celebs along the way! I’m hoping that the dogs are still helping 🐕
“My life felt like Mike Leigh had agreed to direct an episode of Sex and the City. (But got fired for being too British and gritty. And depressing.)”
When I first read the title of this book I laughed - I’d read it in a tone of a life helmet firmly screwed on and with a shrug: go on then - I’ll get that pet that I always wanted as it’s now as convenient life moment. But then whilst reading the book, it struck me of what a dog could actually stand for. As a family, when I was growing up we had dogs and it did provide structure. A reason to be at home, and most of the time together, almost like an anchor. For us the dogs sat in an armchair in the window (own armchair as they were big dogs - my Nan futilely tried to share it sometimes to much social discomfort). Coming home from the life necessities of school and work, the dog would be an immediate welcome face, and an excitable jump… but I now realise it was more than that too. It was a creature that we needed to be there for in so many ways, as we couldn’t explain the complexities of life to them. Walks and food would need to be at regular times for the same reason. Like family, dogs need us, and that’s a safe feeling in life.
I didn’t realise that I knew Dean, but I’d listened to the Frank Skinner radio show so instantly knew the voice. The story took me by surprise of how movingly it was all conveyed - and I must admit made me have proper existential crisis feels as a person with much of her family still present. Hard but not looking for sympathy… and some good celebs along the way! I’m hoping that the dogs are still helping 🐕
March 5, 2021
in 2019, i lost my brother, boyfriend, grandad, and cats left eye (though not as traumatic as the former three, my cats eye certainly added a je ne sais quois to the situation).
I never thought I’d read something where somebody *got* it. Where somebody knew that there was no ‘getting over it’ and getting better. That there would always be bad days and good days and sad days and happy days. That there was a long and painful road towards accepting it but never getting over it, never forgetting or brushing it aside or being magically healed from the grief and trauma.
Emily Dean got it.
I never thought I’d read something where somebody *got* it. Where somebody knew that there was no ‘getting over it’ and getting better. That there would always be bad days and good days and sad days and happy days. That there was a long and painful road towards accepting it but never getting over it, never forgetting or brushing it aside or being magically healed from the grief and trauma.
Emily Dean got it.
November 11, 2019
Emily Dean speaks so honestly and openly about the realness of death and the feelings of grief. The book made me cry with sadness but also made me laugh at the humour of family relationships. Beautiful beautiful book ❤️
April 13, 2021
I didn't expect this to resonate with me as much as it did, but I was very moved by it. The writing was beautiful and evocative. It made me think of all the futures we deny ourselves because of where we have come from, thinking "that's not for me", when maybe it is.
January 27, 2020
Surprisingly, the real hero of the story was a cat.
April 13, 2020
Moving
Enthralling and well written, far beyond what I expected from the title. I wonder what Em’s dad would make of that?
Enthralling and well written, far beyond what I expected from the title. I wonder what Em’s dad would make of that?
May 11, 2020
Incredible. Laughing one minute and in tears the next. The best book I've read this year and one of the most well structured and touching memoirs I've explored. Can't recommend highly enough.
March 16, 2021
Had to abandon it. It just didn't grab my attention... I really tried, read the first 5 chapters, but... Nothing! It was a great premise and was really looking forward to it. Shame.
August 14, 2019
I have been listening to Emily Deans podcast Walking the Dog for some time, so I was aware of some bits about family and upbringing, and I was excited to hear about this memoir and rushed to reserve it old school style, from the local library . I enjoyed the stories which are mainly centered around her growing up with eccentric parents, her older sister Rachel and a slightly potty sounding grandmother. Emily and her sister always wanted a dog but never had one, and had a fascination with dog families, those ones you see on adverts all happy and smiling and sitting down for dinner together each night.
I won't give away the last part of the book, the title describes what happens to her and I did enjoy that she finds happiness with her dog Raymond, and listening to her podcasts and reading her writing I can see how much joy he has brought back into her life. She is funny and smart and I enjoyed her humor about death and grief.
I won't give away the last part of the book, the title describes what happens to her and I did enjoy that she finds happiness with her dog Raymond, and listening to her podcasts and reading her writing I can see how much joy he has brought back into her life. She is funny and smart and I enjoyed her humor about death and grief.
November 25, 2019
I came across this book almost by accident. I had the radio on and heard the author being interviewed and it made me inquisitive. It really was the most touching book I have ever read. Emily Dean is brought up in a rather bohemian family - eccentric mother and father but, along with her sister Rach, they are a team that can survive and thrive in that environment. Then disaster. Rach dies, then their Mum and, finally, their Dad. I know - it tells us what happens in the title but it's amazingly touching. Heart breaking, honest and disarming. Really is one of the best books I've read in a very long while.
July 1, 2023
I cried, laugh, and cried again whilst reading this book. The main topic of this book is grief. Emily discussed at length the last days and weeks of her sisters life, and how the small things, such an air bubble and a Starbucks receipt, where small items anchoring her to her sister. This book is also about saving yourself, overcoming grief, and the healing power of dogs. To be clear, you need to like dogs to like this book. No way around it. I’m giving this book 3 stars just because it drags a little bit towards the end
3 ✨
3 ✨
March 14, 2020
This book was an incredible, raw, emotional and open insight into the author’s life. It examines the messiness of families, the roles we play (and assume) and so much more. There is wisdom contained in this book that we can all benefit from, dog lover/dog owner/dog family/dog hater alike.
I cannot express my gratitude enough to Emily Dean for sharing her life story (and those of her family members) with us. ♥️🐶
I cannot express my gratitude enough to Emily Dean for sharing her life story (and those of her family members) with us. ♥️🐶
February 1, 2020
Funny and well-written. I wanted to read this as the author was a neighbour and shared a lift to school when I was a child (I remembered it being her mother driving, but we could all have been in someone else's car). I wish I could have told her that I thought her family was a Proper Family compared to mine. Plus she was on telly!
July 19, 2024
It took a while to get in to, maybe because I’d be one of those dog families and her childhood was so very different to mine, very eccentric but not cash rich- it reminds me of I capture the castle but real!!
Once she reached adulthood I was very invested in the book. As I have just lost my mum to cancer (Xmas eve) I completely empathised with everything that happened with Rachel and I read with tears falling and a lump in my throat. Very moving book… I think I expected more tales of Raymond though
Once she reached adulthood I was very invested in the book. As I have just lost my mum to cancer (Xmas eve) I completely empathised with everything that happened with Rachel and I read with tears falling and a lump in my throat. Very moving book… I think I expected more tales of Raymond though
May 6, 2019
I loooove Emily's podcast and this was a wonderful insight to the journey that got her there. Lots of life nuggets and a beautifully written memoir of an eccentric family life. I also rate anything that celebrates dogs!
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