You Are a F*cking Awesome Mom: So Embrace the Chaos, Get Over the Guilt, and Be True to You

by Leslie Anne Bruce

A much-needed voice of encouragement for every woman who had a baby and lost her mind

Sometimes, motherhood feels never-ending . A child is born, chaos ensues, and it seems like life will never return to normal.

In You Are a F*cking Awesome Mom , award-winning journalist and Instagram star Leslie Anne Bruce acknowledges that, yes, motherhood is a total mind f*ck-but then she offers the self-empowerment lessons new mothers need to get through the psychic upheaval and emerge stronger than ever. After childbirth, a woman's body, her relationships, and her very sense of self are tested like never before. Bruce encourages readers to look past the sugarcoated truisms about the miracles of child-rearing in order to embrace the real joys of motherhood, spit-up stains and all.

Loaded with unfettered support from a mom who has been through it all, You Are a F*cking Awesome Mom offers a lifeline of encouragement, inspiration, and community for the new mama who got a baby, lost her mind, and desperately wants to find herself again.

Genres: Parenting, Nonfiction, Audiobook, Self Help, Personal Development, Mental Health

1 pages, Audio CD

Published September 10, 2019

Reviews

[Lucie · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is not a baby book. It is a Mama book. And it is by far the most helpful parenting book I've ever read (and I've read a lot). Instead of being issued painkillers and sent on your merry way, every new Mama leaving hospital with a newborn should be issued Leslie's book. Is it shockingly real? Yes. Is it shockingly accurate? Hell yes. Less of this Insta-mom perfect-baby nonsense and more of the hardcore truth about how brutally, identity-crisis-inducing, tough motherhood can be. Screw pretty multipacks of swaddles & Sophie the Giraffe - this book will be my baby shower gift of choice for the rest of forever.

[Janie T. · Rating 4 out of 5]

Move over, what to expect when you’re expecting. There’s a better book for first time moms. I would recommend this book to every new mom. I felt so validated by Leslie Anne’s stories and she provided great tips along the way for filling one’s cup while balancing motherhood and individuality. I listened to it as an audiobook, so most of the book felt like I was chatting with a friend about motherhood.

[nukie19 · Rating 3 out of 5]

I thought the idea of this book was great but am a little sad that our book club decided to read it to celebrate our final member joining the mom crew. There were just too many parts that over focused on the negative or just plain weird advice (loofah your nipples? Uh...no) that I think was there more for shock value than to actually help new moms. So, positive for discussions about mom guilt and mom shaming, but negatives on somehow still perpetuating some of that guilt and shame.

[Jenn Bedard · Rating 4 out of 5]

An absolute must read for any soon to be mom or brand new mom! Truly some of the best and most honest writing to help us through this crazy life transition🙌🏻

[Taylor C · Rating 5 out of 5]

I loved this book. I’m a new mom. My daughter is just over 3 months now. I can honestly say that this book helped me get out of a sad and lonely place. I had so much fear and guilt over “am I doing the right thing?” As I am learning and growing with my daughter I have been reading this and it was crazy how often a chapter would coincide with what I was going through in the moment.

My mother in law decided to give this to me as a gift and I am so grateful that she did. I had no idea and probably wouldn’t have found it otherwise. I plan on giving this book to any new moms I know. It would be a great gift for any mom struggling.
She really puts an emphasis on remembering you’re worth. I appreciate because there are days, a lot since I was pregnant/ had my daughter that I just forget it. You’re enough. Read this! If you need reminders and you want to know you ARE NOT alone. Read this.

[Charlotte Gross · Rating 1 out of 5]

As the first line of this book was “you are an awesome mom, you grew and gave birth to a human” and the first chapter was dedicated to highlights from her birth, it became very quickly apparent that this author was only going to be able to present a one-sided view of motherhood. It is unfortunate that she did not take the time to think about and include all of the different ways that women enter motherhood and try to lift everyone up.

I should also note that I was so turned off by the beginning of this book I did not go any further than chapter one. So if she did in fact try to accommodate other avenues to motherhood some way later in the book, then good for her – but as a mother who did not come to motherhood by giving birth to a child, the beginning of this book was so isolating I had no desire to go any further.

[Samantha Peirce · Rating 5 out of 5]

Every mom, mom to be, friend of a mom needs to read this book. We spend so much time preparing for the baby, talking about what to do for the baby, but what about the mom? When a baby is born, so is a new mother. We don’t talk about the transition to motherhood nearly enough. You’re given small tidbits of advice, or just told that it’s the best time of your life and to enjoy every minute. Why don’t people talk about how hard and exhausting it is to become a mom? That it’s okay to feel positive and negative feelings at the same time? That sometimes you will feel like you are losing your mind, but despite social media culture you are actually not alone in those feelings? Our society does not do nearly enough to educate new mothers on what to expect and how to take care of not only their new babies, but themselves as well. Postpartum supports are getting better, but still need improvement. If you are a new mom and feel like you are breaking, please know you are not alone. Leslie is hilarious and brings a great sense of humor to the challenges we face bringing new life into this world and becoming new mothers. I really appreciate her being so real, raw, and honest about this transition.

[Katelyn · Rating 5 out of 5]

Gaaah, a must read for any new mom! I laughed. (A lot.) I cried. (A lot.) I felt so understood the entire book. It’s relatable and hilarious and heart-warming and so freaking real. Loved it, and bought it for a new mama halfway through!

[Ashley · Rating 4 out of 5]

4.5 stars. This book encapsulates many of my own feelings about becoming a mother, and is still relevant for baby #2. I'll recommend this for my new mom friends.

[Lindsay · Rating 5 out of 5]

All the things this mama needed to hear right now. Sometimes you just need to hear it from a “friend” who can normalize all your feelings and remind you that you are awesome

[lynne · Rating 3 out of 5]

recommended for new mamas or soon-to-be mamas for sure. admittedly, i am not exactly the target audience as i made it through the new mom years a couple of years ago but as i am in the home stretch of baby #2, decided to give this a shot.

overall, loved the honest perspective shared on all things motherhood. it is definitely a wild and challenging transition, esp having kids later in life after establishing yourself + your career. i appreciated that this was less about *how* to do motherhood and more about the realities that aren't often talked about.

for me, the anecdotes + their lessons felt a little repetitive towards the end (which, LOL, is early motherhood where maternity leave can feel like groundhogs day) so i didn't find as much value/didn't read as closely in the last 1/4 of the book. however, if i had been reading this as a soon-to-be mama or first-time mama, i probably would have had a different take. but having been through the trenches once already, the lessons and stories resonated but weren't as deeply impactful as i think they would have been reading this pre-baby #1.

[Carrie · Rating 4 out of 5]

A friend with two very young kids sent me a copy of this book right after I gave birth. Reading it was like having a conversation with a friend who understands exactly what you're going through. As a VERY new first-time mama (my daughter will be four weeks old tomorrow), I read this book while very much in the thick of the self-doubt and guilt, the hormonal changes, the grappling with the new me and the feeling that I've lost myself a little, and the heart-shattering love for this tiny human, all while I try to figure out how to keep said tiny human alive, well, and feeling loved. Reading a few pages of this during one of her naps or at the end of the day made me feel seen, and like someone understands what I'm feeling.

[Laura Terrazas · Rating 5 out of 5]

I started reading this when my son was 8. But man, this is still so relevant today.
I wish this book was out when I first became a mom or when I was pregnant!
This isn't entirely a "how to mom" book. Instead, it's a book that will bring an immense amount of validation to all of the emotions mothers go through. Some past emotions surfaced while reading this 🥲 I highly recommend this to soon to be moms (although, admittedly it might scare the heck out of you 😉).
I would also recommend it to new moms + moms who need a little boost of encouragement AND those who need to be reminded that they're the most amazing humans on earth... even when they don't feel it. ♥️

[Chelsey · Rating 4 out of 5]

When I picked this up, it was exactly what I needed: a reminder that parenting isn’t a skill you magically acquire when your child is born. Instead, it’s a constant education and you need to be patient and kind to yourself as you learn.

My life and personality is very different from Bruce’s, so some of the references didn’t resonate with me, but the overall message really did: you’re doing okay, you’re not messing this up horribly, and you’re not alone. And at 3am when you’re sleep deprived and struggling, knowing those three things makes a world of difference.

[Katie · Rating 5 out of 5]

Finally a book that’s honest about the remarkable transition from being child free to motherhood. I firmly believe nothing can completely prepare you for that transition, but the honesty that Leslie brings to the table regarding this period in a woman’s life is necessary and refreshing. Although every woman’s experience is different, this book allowed me to finally realize I wasn’t alone in that loss of sense of self and other topics she touches on. I would recommend this book to every new mom before delivery and as a re-read a few months after delivery.

[Kacey · Rating 5 out of 5]

I have read many parenting books and this one stands on its own. Leslie Anne Bruce provides a fresh perspective of new mom life that will reassure new moms they are not alone in their feelings. She shares funny, relatable stories of her own experience that will have you laughing because they are true. This is a great book and will be one of my staple baby shower gifts.

[Nicole Hill · Rating 4 out of 5]

I was originally going to rate this book lower. I appreciated the author's honesty and she had good tips sprinkled throughout the book but she made new motherhood sound AWFUL and I was not relating. Towards the end however, something changed and I started enjoying it and relating a little bit more. I liked the chapter on Mom Guilt especially, as that is what I am currently struggling the most with as a new mom. Overall - pretty good (though idk if I would have wanted to read it as a pregnant woman...I might have been intimidated! Lol)

[Karmin · Rating 3 out of 5]

There was nothing that I found overly ground breaking, but I found reassurance in solidarity.

[Hillary Benitez · Rating 5 out of 5]

Such a fun, easy relatable read! Her witty humor made the book such a page turner. Worth the read if you’re a mom!! Or a mom-to-be!

[Lindsey Barnett · Rating 4 out of 5]

A little negative at times, but lots of moments that remind you you aren’t alone in this crazy thing called parenthood.

[Francesca · Rating 4 out of 5]

This book is a good reminder to be kind to yourself during those first few months and has some good advice for first time parents. Nothing is really explore in depth, this is more like a 10k foot overview and might prompt you to research more about the topics you’re interested in. I read this 10 months after baby was born so there wasn’t really anything I had never heard of, but I’m glad this book exists for very new parents to know that it’s ok if you’re tired and sometimes feel like you don’t love your baby 24/7.

[Judy · Rating 4 out of 5]

I am a little too far into my motherhood journey for this book to be the hype session it is for new moms. But it’s a great read and important messages for new moms and women who want to be or are expecting moms.

[Erin Levande · Rating 5 out of 5]

This made me laugh so hard I cried, which isn’t surprisingly since I read it 4-9 weeks postpartum. But seriously, she tells it like it is and makes you feel so much less crazy and alone in the chaos that is postpartum and being a new mom. I will be gifting a copy of this book to ALL my pregnant friends. 100/10 stars.

[Amanda · Rating 4 out of 5]

The description of her time with her newborn daughter in the hospital mirrored my own experience with my daughter. I read the passage aloud to my husband and it brought us back to that time of confusion and concern after labor and delivery. Although a terrible experience to navigate as new parents, it felt good knowing we weren’t alone. Very much appreciated her candidness.

[Rachael Addison · Rating 1 out of 5]

This is a very negative book and I don’t recommend it for new moms!

[Angelina · Rating 1 out of 5]

I was exhausted and emotionally struggling 5 months postpartum with my second baby when I googled books that could help me. That was how I came across this book. Don’t waste your precious free time reading this one. There are useful books out there for new/recent moms; this isn’t one of them, at least for me.

You might like this book if you’re in the same socio-demographic group as the author: white, upper middle class, privileged. But if you face a hardship in addition to becoming a mom, you would probably feel annoyed at best. Examples of hardship I’m talking about: you’re a woman of color who faces structural racism; or you’re a single parent or have an unsupportive partner; or you live in poverty; or your mom/family is dead or toxic and therefore isn’t available to help you; or you, your baby, or close family have health complications; or you gave birth in quarantine in a pandemic; or you struggle to breastfeed when there’s a national formula shortage; or any combination of many other real life challenges.

This book comes across as a privileged white woman complaining, which is fine because motherhood is hard. What I mind is the way she dismisses other people’s hardships and put her complaints on a pedestal, as if only her struggles are legit. She thinks it’s harder for her (a 32 yo, educated, career woman) to become a mom than a teen mom because she has to give up more. She whole-heartedly claims that now is the hardest time to become a mom in all of human history except maybe the Stone Age. Seriously? Even before anesthesia was invented? Even when infant and maternal mortality rates were sky high? Even when women didn’t have a say in their health care or basic rights and their husband made decisions for them in consultation with their male doctor?

The writing voice sounds self-absorbed and emotionally immature. So many times I felt invisible and invalidated reading this, like when you have to set aside your real problems to listen to someone melodramatically complain about how they got a bad manicure. I couldn’t make it to chapter 4.

I know the author intended to help women. But she missed the mark.

[Lauren · Rating 5 out of 5]

Wow this book is literally life changing. The BEST parenting book I’ve read (and I’ve read a lot) and it has nothing to do with taking care of a a baby and everything to do with taking care of yourself. Something crazy would happen in my life with my three month old and the next day I would read a chapter where Leslie would talk about EXACTLY what I had just experienced in her own dry witty way. I had a mental break one day and Leslie’s voice in my head was shouting at me, you’re not alone get your mom tribe and get some help mama. For the first time ever, I finally reached out for help and it was so overwhelming I cried again this time out of happiness. Leslie continued to speak to me through her struggles with her body, her identity, her relationships, and the ever present guilt. There is something so familiar and comforting in her voice that drew me in so deeply. One of the best raw and truthful looks at motherhood ever. EVERY mom and pre-mom (especially pre-moms) should read this book. Not to scare them but to prepare them for this crazy insane journey of what happens to you physically and mentally when you have a tiny human depending on you. And to really knock it into their brains, YOU CANT DO THIS ALONE. Find your tribe, get some help, it’s going be fine. We got this. Together.

[Anna Patrick · Rating 3 out of 5]

Full disclosure that I really struggle through parenting books. That’s why the description of this book being a “mama book” and not a parenting book drew me to it!

I think the right time to read this book is within the first year postpartum. Preferably late at night when baby/babies are awake and you need some stimuli. It’ll help you feel less alone. It felt like the equivalent of sending a “… is it just me or…” text to a mom friend on the tough days.

That said, this book is definitely from a white upper middle class mom in LA who had a traditional road to motherhood. I don’t think everyone could relate to it. It’s a lot of “you got this, mama!” “mama, you’re awesome!” kind of energy. I found that a bit grating after awhile.

Overall (and this is a me problem) it’s really hard for me to listen to parents of singletons complain. Part of me wonders if this mom was a twin mom if I would have liked this book better. Hypothesis contrary to fact, I know. I didn’t take that into account in my rating. Just as a word of caution for parents of multiples or anyone who had a really rough fertility journey or birth story, the author may trigger a bit of pain Olympics and throw some “truth salads” around that may feel grating.

[Amanda · Rating 4 out of 5]

“It’s true what they say: in twenty years you probably won’t remember all the shit you had to go through. But to get to that point, you still have to survive it.” Real. Raw. Vulnerable. Honest. Did I mention REAL?! portrayal of motherhood from a woman who is not afraid to tell her story. For some of us, with established careers, strong identities, and busy social lives, it’s so much more than just our bodies we sacrifice to become mothers. Leslie talks about the loss of self as a new mom getting her world rocked by a strong willed baby. I personally needed this book. I needed to feel less alone. I needed to understand why I had these confusing feelings of sadness during a time when I felt like I was supposed to be “all in” to buying into the traditional mother role. This book was pretty liberating in reassuring me there are moms like me out there. Who love their children like hell, but value themselves as well. I hope to raise my daughter to value whatever the hell she feels like, and doesn’t feel ashamed if she’s a multidimensional person with more than one love in her life. Because you can love being a mother, you can love your children, and still love so many other things too.

[Sara · Rating 5 out of 5]

Wow! Two months postpartum I was convinced I had to write a book about how hard this period of life was because NO ONE TELLS you. Luckily, Leslie Bruce did, and it is absolutely amazing. I wish that this existed a year ago. I laughed, I cried, I emphasized, I nodded my head along. She did such an amazing job candidly describing what this period of life is like after having a baby. This is the book you need to read when you're pregnant - not the sleep books, or the baby led weaning books, or the behavior books, because everything you swore you'd remember from those goes right out the window when you are faced with the situation. I wish I had known what I know now - and while it might not make 100% sense to anyone who hasn't had a baby yet, it will give you a little insight into what to expect.