First half was a solid five stars, life changing five stars, actually buying the book to own instead of relying on the library copy five stars.
Second half was a really unfortunate miss. I was interested to read the chapters that related to me, but found that none of them resonated. And that would have been fine -- it happens -- except that by simply involving more perspectives they could have resonated. Instead, many of the later chapters were comparatively brief reflections on specific circumstances (e.g., single parent adoption, stepparent adoption, adoption of disabled children -- there are others but these were the ones I read). I understand some of this was due to a lack of existing research, but bringing in lived experience would have helped substantially, as would broadening the type of current research included in those chapters.
For example, while there may not be a copious amount of research on single adoptive parents specifically, there IS at least some literature on single parents by choice. I know, because I've read it. Especially with such a thorough and layered investigation of adoption in the first half, it would have been nice to see some of this integrated. I think there are many single adoptive parents for whom single parenthood and/or adoption was very much a first choice. Including some of the broader concerns and issues that are unique to those who chose to parent alone would have provided better context for discussing the subset who then chose to become parents through adoption.
The chapter on stepparent adoption was similar and while it continued to use the same seven issues framework, it felt disconnected from the previous discussion on losses in a way that felt inauthentic. The tone was kind of overall "well, there's not a lot of research on this, but it's probably fine." The nuance of the first half of the book seemed to be missing.
Finally, whew, the chapter on "special healthcare needs." It's really just a mess. After an initial paragraph describing how the author was going to use the term "developmental disability," it was rarely used again. Instead, the preferred term was consistently "special healthcare needs", which is off putting and also often inaccurate, especially with later commentary in the chapter that seemed to take the bizarre view of only viewing significant, very noticeable disabilities as "disabled."
The tone throughout this chapter was that adoptive parents of disabled adoptees are somehow set apart from the normal population (i.e., it perpetuates the ideas that they're heroes or somehow super special). The chapter also incorrectly equates both autism and cerebral palsy with intellectual disability, yet those are three different things. It was a very uncomfortable and inaccurate read and even more frustrating when that space could have been so useful had it been written from the perspective and experience of a disabled adoptee. Instead, it was wildly and uncomfortably ableist, enough that I flipped back to the front to check the copyright date (which was way, way too recent to excuse that chapter).
These extremely unfortunate missteps aside, it's a phenomenal book especially in the first half. So resonant and it gave words to some things I haven't seen mentioned elsewhere.